In this episode, I sit down with Raeann Langas, Co-Founder of The Confident Collective. A community dedicated to inspiring confidence and creating meaningful connections between like-minded women.
You can learn more about The Confident Collective at:
theconfidentcollective.com
instagram.com/confidentcollective.
The learn more about Raeann follow her on Instagram at @raeannlangas or on her website: rae-everyday.com.
0:08
Welcome to coming clean with Indie Lee, a podcast series about living with passion, acting with purpose and being fully present. I'm your host Indie Lee. And today's episode I have the pleasure of sitting down with well, virtually sitting down with Raeanne Langas as Raeanne is one of the bloggers that I followed for quite some time and she founded what is called the competent collective. The competent collective is a community and resource for women to be more confident in all aspects of their life. So take a listen. Okay, so Hi, everybody, it's Indy Lee here and I am so excited. I have
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Raeanne Langas who
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is one of the founders of the competent collective. She's also an influencer a I guess, a blogger and everything that I you know, I think I met you a couple years ago as a result of building an instance Grandpa.
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Yeah,
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way back when we were just trying to figure out how do we amplify voices
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longer than two years ago? We will feels like a long time.
1:13
Wow. Yeah.
1:16
And so we met on Instagram as everybody does now. Yeah. And then I think it was last year, I was fortunate enough to actually meet you in person. When we were launched, I recover. Yes. And that's when I met one of your partners in the confident collective.
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Yes, Brittany was. Yes,
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yes. So I thought that it'd be amazing to have you on because I happen to think that your posts are inspirational. I love what you do personally, and I love what you do collectively. On I guess what you're calling TCC. Yeah, like to raise people's awareness and raise each other up and be positive body Positive, but just build confidence, which I think is missing in so many women and men, but women today. So tell me, how did you get started with that?
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Well, first thank you so much for having me and the kind words about me and the company collective seriously that it just means so much. And I'm sorry that Britney and Christina couldn't be with us. They are working on some other projects that everyone will find out very soon. Can't wait. Yes. Um, but we just saw this need for all of us. My two co founders and I, Christina and Brittany, and myself are all bloggers or influencers, if you will, who have kind of built our brands around self love in some shape or form. And we would get so many dams from women saying, I wish I had your confidence. How can I be confident I really want to stop hating myself and my body Can we were like, this is something we can't answer in a DM you can't even really answer it in a blog post because it really is a lifelong journey and we wanted to create a way that we can connect with women in real life to help them have to be a catalyst for change so that they can develop self confidence and change the relationship that they have with their body. So they can really start like living their most their best life because so many women let themselves be held back by their fear of like, their by their insecurity. Um, so that's how we started a year ago.
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Same same. I don't, I don't think I know of any woman or girl at this point. And I and it's, it's really sad because the age is getting younger and younger when they start to lose that confidence, which is why I am so inspired by what you guys are all about. And I think we need more of it. And I, as I was saying, before we went on I want to amplify those voices so people know there are these resources and people to look up to because it's true. We lose our confidence so quickly. Yeah, and I think
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like thanks I mean that it has come a long way and having for like young girls to have role models, but we still have a long way to go. But I mean, no matter what woman we all struggle with it because we feel so much of that pressure. So I think if we can come together and talk about it and be open about it that's so powerful and that's where we can make changes and change for the better.
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Yeah, so when did you start to realize that this for you before even the competence collective, when did you start to say this is what I this is the lane I feel I need to be in and and I have a voice And I love myself who I am.
5:04
Yeah, so I mean like growing up, I'm 511 I'm, you know, a size 1214 and I've kind of always been that size like I've no ever remember, like, I always just remember being so much bigger than I felt then the girls in my class, and I just remember just feeling like so uncomfortable in myself, and I had absolutely no self confidence. Um, and it wasn't until I saw started seeing models like Ashley Graham, pop up where I was like, Wait a second, like, I saw her confidence. I saw her it was in college when I first started seeing these curve models. And I was like, they look like me and they are so confident and like, why I was like there was a disconnect. So that's when it clicked for me that I really wanted to start figuring out how I can change my internal narrative of speaking, waking up everyday hating my body. And I also it was the same time I started my fashion blog, and I just started writing out like my sizes of all the what I wore to help women shop, I was like, Oh, I'm size 12, and this size, whatever. And it was something I used to be so scared to admit that I would wear a size 14. And when I just started normalizing and talking about it, I was like, that's so silly. Like,
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like, isn't that then everyone's like,
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wait, that is the normal size? Yes. So I think it was just it was a combination of those things that made me start down this journey of changing my my narrative and it's something that I still work at. It's never like I always tell people, it's something you will have to work out every single day because we're constantly changing. So It's it's not just like a you wake up one day done.
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Yeah, well, you know what you still have every, like I say every but you see still so much marketing to a certain frame. And we're all using filters. Well, clearly I'm not. But you know, we're using filters, we're using contours and all these things to change instead of accept. Mm hmm. We are and and because we're constantly seeing this and when you that's what you're seeing your feed, you start to measure yourself against that. And the more we see people accepted, who they love each other love themselves. I think the more that narrative will change, but I think we have a long, long way to go, unfortunately. Yeah, I do think it's true that I'd never even people who you look at and I'm always amazed at this, but you think oh my god, that's the most competent person I've ever met and then you talk to them. And they're like, Oh, I don't like my nose or I hate my job. You know? All habit mm hmm and I don't know I really I know we're not born like that thinking that way but somehow over time we've gotten that way but I I loved and I remember looking at your blogs and going oh that's okay that's what size she wears. Okay, so okay let me think of me Yeah, usually I'm not 511 I'm five four so I had a good down on
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oh my god yeah I'm I'm much taller than the average person but it is it's so true like, especially for young girls as you talked about seeing on social media i think you know, of course we it's that balance of you want to put your best self out there. But I mean I try and make an effort on going on my stories when I'm you know, makeup free, no filters. This is what I look like. But then it also is what I look like when I have my hair done my makeup done but I'm very open with I have a full face and makeup on. I have my eyebrows done. I have my hair is dyed. You know, it's A lot of money on the side is not natural. open about it, I think is a huge first step for
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it with other people helps to normalize and and exactly what you're doing is creating a community where people can have these very raw, honest conversations. One of the things I love about what you do, and what your partners do is you're very raw and honest, if you're having a bad day, if you're feeling insecure, if you're like, Hey, I went here in my mind, and I had to walk myself back from that, because that's not what I am. Mm hmm. And I think that honesty is what people are looking for. Because so often in social media, it's an edited feed and it's curated. Yeah, it's like, here's my best life and that's just not reality born. And I think what you and a lot of I'm seeing now, people are, they're rushing in that new age. I'm saying, that's, that's not helping us with wellness.
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Mm hmm. And that's why I think we With the company collected even still, even for me, you know that I try and do my best to have my Instagram be real and authentic, but it's still just one part one part of me. So that's why we knew we needed to create ways where we can connect with women in real life, which we do through fitness events here in LA. We're hoping we have big plans to go on a tour this year. But clearly,
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that's not how I know. So yeah. So talk to me about how that you know, where you see the competent collective going. I post COVID because I know that a lot of it is creating these events for women to come together and have these touch points. So where do you see how do you see how can you build that out so that more people can be impacted by this incredible light that you're bringing?
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We really want to there are a couple things while we're starting a podcast, which we're very excited bound. We'd love to have you on And we do buy monthly fitness events here locally in LA. Because fitness has been a big part of our journey. And if you haven't watched lizzo actually just posted something about it yesterday about her fitness journey. And it was so spot on. It's exactly like what
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I go watch.
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You know, it's not about working out to fit someone else. society's ideal body type. It's working out because you it makes you feel good. There's a sense of community, it's giving back to your body. And then we are also wanting to do workshops and retreats where we will bring in people who are experts in you know, their field and can can speak to women on how to be confident in their businesses, in relationships. there because there's so many facets to it. It's not just about our bodies, it's about everything in our lives. And so we'll Would love to go, you know, on tour and just get out of you know, just LA. So post COVID
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we will be out there. I can't wait. I think using Do you see yourself doing any outreach to young adults? Because I think obviously that's, that's when they start to do this, they have this conversation in their mind. And I just see you guys as such incredible role models and relatable I mean, I am much older. I'm not as 48 I'm not as relatable to my daughter, I'd like to pretend I am. But do you see that as part of what you guys do? Are you seeing younger people want to get involved and following you guys too.
12:41
I would absolutely love that. I think there is. I wish I had someone like that when I was in high school and middle school and even Elementary School. It's crazy how fast we start to think about our bodies as young girls. Um, so we would absolutely love that and it's our actually being on tik tok the new you know latest app the audience there is so young, and it's reminding me I feel like on Instagram oh my gosh We've come so far and I on tik tok, I'm reminded that for some girls Tell me, I'm the first person that they've seen on the app that they relate to some professional, that's beautiful.
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Like amazing, like that has to feel so good that somebody feels they have somebody that is just showing self love, health and confidence. And yet, it's so sad that that that's the first time that they're seeing that too. And you're absolutely right. Instagram has come so far. But I don't I do not go on Snapchat. I have like, but now
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is I'd have to I know as a brand.
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It is it's very young.
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But yeah, it just it just showed me that we need to be showing up for the younger young women and young girls. We would love to do that. We would absolutely love that and hope to do that very soon. Yeah, it's
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it's so interesting, because I can remember back. I think for me, it was it was high school where I was like, Okay, I don't I don't like the body I'm in like, I'm not tall enough. I have a very pointy chin, I'll show you when you know, like, and I can go on and on and on and tell you my features I don't like and whatnot. Instead of say, Hey, I'm okay with myself. It took me till I was 40 to actually love who I am.
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Mm hmm.
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I always say I figured out who I was in my 30s by I fell in love with myself in my 40s a, a nine year old and a 17 year old and I'm like, love who you are now. Mm hmm.
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And I think it's also instilling in them and that it's not just when you stop obsessing about what you just your outer appearance, and you start realizing Well, what else is have like in value to give to this world like you just naturally start to you know, think about it a little bit less like let's celebrate each other for our you know our talents like what we bring in. I think you but we still I mean that's just the nature of our world in our society we are very appearance focused. Um, but I think it's just helping girls realize that it's not just about your you know your your body in your in your outward appearance,
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like do you think I mean I don't know if you see it you're way more tuned into that area. As I focus on the skincare I would say, yeah, and the lifestyle element of it. But I do think the conversation like I said through the Ashley Graham's the world, even the little lizards of the world that there is no one size fits all that everybody is uniquely beautiful and that that really shows from the soul within a heart And not in what whatever you're putting on your clothes however your hair is. Mm hmm. I do start to see that narrative changing not fast enough, in my opinion. Mm hmm. But I am seeing it change.
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Yeah. And I think I mean, even so there's a long way to go. This is something that I'm really learning about is you know, even as a curve model, I am still accepted. Society, still things, you know, I'm attractive, Ashley Graham, you know, all of these people are still very accepted by society. And so, even still, like the most marginalized groups who maybe have aren't, you know, in a wheelchair or have, you know, some with their limbs or something, or other body things are still not as represented even still. And I think that we can, in the body, positive community and the self love community, we can work together. Continue to help those voices be heard. Because when you uplift the most marginalized, we will make it better for all of us. That's how you change the world. Exactly.
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There. There's so much to be controlled. There's so much to be contributed through their lens. Just give them the stage to share it. Mm hmm. What I thought and what I love about what you're doing. First of all, I love that when you guys talk about fitness, it isn't to get to a specific weight. It isn't about then it's about health. Heart Health, it is about mental health. It is about you know, motion, mind body soul. Mm hmm. Not about hey, can you get into a size of zero? I've never seen that you guys are about loving yourself but being healthy for the purpose of having a beautiful long life. Mm hmm. And that's something that I thought was so interesting and so positive about all the communication that you guys have is that it really is About how do you be healthy? And it's and then plus which I when I often I see other things when it's not all but oftentimes it is about how do you get to that ideal weight? Mm hmm. Number that size numbers and of loving yourself who you are just be the healthiest version of yourself.
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Yeah. And I think it's just remembering like to be with ourselves and with other people is from the outside you can't tell what's going on, you know, we don't know who what their health really is. And so I think it's just about you know, fitness for us has been such a for me mentally, I just, it helps me clear my mind, just be active mentally. It's huge. And it's also been such a sense of community like going you know, we had a group of girls training for a half marathon and those girls we established when you're working towards a company Together, like, the bonds that you make are incredible. And it's just it's for me those two things are huge when it comes to fitness and, of course, the health aspect
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13.1, right. Yes or no. And then I saw
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has been 2020 has been basically canceled.
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Or I said, paused. But um, no, I saw that. And I do agree that when you go to a gym or you join a community like soulcycle, and I think that that's what people love about those type of activities as you you are creating a community, you're finding your tribe.
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Mm hmm.
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And what I see please correct me if I'm wrong, but the confident collective is creating a tribe of individuals who are uplifting, that are building one another up, regardless of anything else except for what's happening on the And help to increase in and to increase that or to to lift that up. It's not. It's not sighs it's not alert. It's not and I mean, it's really just about confident, loving yourself. And I think there's self love, but then there's confidence you can love yourself but not have that confidence. Mm hmm. I think that at least the way I see it is what the confident collective is is trying to raise that confidence in individuals so that they can be that self accepting, self loving version of themselves that oftentimes we hide.
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Yes, that's exactly what we want to do. So.
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All right. I love it.
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Yeah, just come on. Join us. You can be the fourth member.
20:53
I love it. I love it. I did write some questions. I definitely wanted to know When you are approaching like what's your approach when you handle like adversity either both on yours and on the comp I'm sure I know that competent collection it collective is new. But I know with anything less we were talking beforehand with the canceled culture and negativity and all this, how do you handle it?
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I think as luckily like as my own with my own brand and we were the confident collective. Everyone who we seem to attract is very positive and very just a very positive person, which is I'm so thankful for but you know, you do still get haters, if you will. And I think you just what I have to tell myself is you just not, you're not going to please everybody. You're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. And that's something you have to realize. Like you will be can be pulled in 100 different directions but you have to stick to and really reflect on what your goals are, what you want to do what your values are. And just stay in your stay in that and because you can't let those comments or if things get to you because like you said they don't know you and people are very brave when they're behind a screen behind an iPhone and I think that's what I just tell myself you're not going to please everybody and I just tried to focus on the good that we hear from the women that we're in contact with or in my you know, on my personal brand and that's really all you can do. I mean, haters gonna hate.
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I listen, you know, I'm because I will say we don't I on my channel, very rarely, very rarely. And then rupt and realize it's probably more about them than it is about me.
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Yes.
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And I can't allow that to lower my vibration.
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Mm hmm. Another blogger I follow. And I Bella, she's amazing. She actually talks about this and what you just said reminded me of it was she was reading out some comments that she'd received that were just I couldn't even believe that someone would say this. And she said, You have to remember that his issues with themselves and they're unhappy with themselves happy people don't go on to someone else's page and write me things. Yeah, don't Chi and so that is something that's them. It's not you. It's about them, not you.
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And I think that's, I mean, that's how I look at it. And I think I do think we're very similar in terms of our brand eat those is that when you're putting positive things out there, like attracts like, I don't know call it the universe or whatever, but it does kind of put that bubble around, you're like, Okay, I'm not gonna let any of these haters in as much yeah, that's not who they are. So get that energy back at me. We happen and struggles happen.
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Yes. So
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for when you're when, listen, we talked about this like, you know you have bad days everybody does I admit I bet Trust me.
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How do you get through it?
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As someone who you know is so into competent? How do you get back to that? Yeah level set. I think like, what's your advice?
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Especially when quarantine started, it really tested me because physically I could feel that I had my body was changing. I went from working out every single day training for my first half marathon to basically not working out at all eating so many snacks because we'll come Why not, you know and it was like, I just went One you know, and I really struggled with that with my body and I talked a lot about that on my, my Instagram, mentally I struggled because I wasn't having as much social interaction I was we weren't leaving our house. And so I think, around the globe, we were all struggling with this but it really reminded me of the ways that I need to recenter myself and through that is accepting that circumstances, whether it's with your body, your business, your life are going to change and there are just some things that you cannot control. So taking a deep breath, recognizing that and then focusing on what can I control another thing that helps me is when I'm feeling just whatever I have been going on long walks I put on an audio book that sometimes I'll do you know my nonfiction but it's really my time to do like fiction He just kind of chose zone out, go for a walk, get fresh air get outside, I think it's so important. Um, and but the main thing is, is just trying to focus on the things that are your in your control.
26:15
Yep. And my best friend said, Oh, it says, circumstances don't matter state of being matters.
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Yes. And I love that
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I really you know,
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I completely agree because you can only eat the things that you can control is what you do and how you grow.
26:33
Mm hmm. And I think like just approaching everything with how can I turn this into a positive one of one that Christina, another co founder of the company collective she is so good at that in my role. I look up to her so much in that way that no matter what it could be the worst situation everything could be going wrong and she will find a positive and I think that is so powerful as well because once you get into that like negative You start using negative negative negative oh my gosh I'm so sorry about it um you know it's positive so powerful
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I my family calls me Mary Poppins actually they put an S in there because I they it could be the worst anything and they will that I will be like okay but did you look at it like this crazy my team crazy because I will find the pop I love everything I love you Only you Mary Poppins and I was like, I'm okay with it. You know, for me, it comes from obviously, you know, you know my mice history like when you were given six months to live you realize, wow, I better go out and and live like I am not going to let one day not matter again. I have bad days. But I say what can I learn from that bad day or what can I learn from that? And then I also know that you can't have a good day unless you have a bad day. So I appreciate that. From That, yeah, that kind of ying and yang kind of approach. Okay, I wouldn't know, Joy if I didn't experience the flip side of that. So they appreciate going through that. What is the learning from it? We write definitely soft. Okay, but how am I gonna change that?
28:18
Yes. I love that. I love how you put that it's such a good perspective.
28:23
And that's how I deal with it as best as best as I can. I always ask these three questions, kind of at the end. Okay. I love see. Well, it also ties into why we why I named the podcast, the podcast, about passion, purpose and being fully present. So what are you currently passionate about?
28:47
I mean, I think given the current state of our world right now, I am very passionate about educating myself on how I can be actively anti racist. And how I can uplift the black community and use my voice especially in that in the body positive community as well. How I can use my privilege, and right now I am really in that it all starts with all of us individually and right now I am in that education phase because I'm not afraid to admit I'm not educated enough. And I that is what I'm really passionate about right now. I'm like, I feel like I'm like, back in college. I'm like, watching every documentary reading all these books writing grilling. Yes. So
29:34
I am doing the same thing. Through a lot of different lenses. As we go up in here, my lights go off, this is what happens. Um, as I was saying beforehand, I am very, I'm so blessed with three kids. One of them is not my biological, she is black, and I learning that for so long, and she's only nine but I was thinking Have it through the lens of raising a strong, independent woman not realizing in my honest white privilege that I need to think about how am I going to raise a strong black woman?
30:15
Yeah,
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that's going to be very different. The conversations I'm going to have with helping to raise some Maya is very different than some of the conversations we're going to have with Emily. And then I better educate myself because I will never understand what it feels like. She's going to go through and that as a parent pains me that I will never understand that pain when I need to understand my job is to educate myself on how to how to prepare her. So I am saying like you right in the How do I educate myself reading everything possible, and realizing as thought as much as I thought I was an ally, there's so much work that I still need to do.
30:55
Yeah, I feel the same and I think it's honestly amazing that Oh, so many people are in that right now. And it's going to be I know we're building a better world for everybody in
31:09
it. We have a lot of ground to make up for.
31:11
Yes, we do. We do. So,
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I'm like you on that. That is what I've been passionate about. And I, I almost want to take like days off just to read and research. Because I
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make that a thing.
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This I'm, oh
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my gosh, I know. Okay, like I need to start a school where we talk about everything, the shit that really matters what you want in life, because I'm like,
31:35
What did the Common Core really matter? Like, I have a calculator.
31:40
Oh, my God, I do the same thing.
31:43
Okay, so what's giving you and it might be related, but what's giving you purpose right now?
31:49
I think right now, I mean, to be totally honest, this recently the past few months I have been like oh, you know, is really rocked my world and I really had to reevaluate my purpose and I always am coming back to I just want to help women feel good about themselves and be a leader in that space of yes I love fashion for me has been a way that I have found my confidence but when I share a pair of jeans and then people messaged me on how good they feel like they're wearing them on first day there, they haven't found a pair of jeans that fit them that well and yours like that is was giving me like, purpose. I'm like, okay, we are making a difference.
32:38
That you are a leader in that space, the space so don't you think you are truly this shining light anybody and we will get to it so I can share but anybody who follows you knows, I mean, it just shines through your entire everything since the moment I started following So what do you currently practice in order to be more present on a regular basis and a lot of people don't but I'm curious.
33:08
This is a very good one and when I do that, this is one that I think I need to work on. But to be more present, I really which is crazy to say as my job is on my phone, but I really think I need to spend some more time away from my screen. I think that's important for everybody. Um, this recently I've been you know, I guess selling your phone but connecting with my friends over you know, having phone calls, talking to family, like it's getting it you know, going for walks, all of that stuff. I think it's super important. But I think for me, I am trying to establish you know, a morning routine that's not looking at my phone, the first thing when I wake up so that is a goal of mine.
34:01
It's so hard. It's so hard.
34:03
I, I meditate every morning and every night. I've been doing Transcendental Meditation for years.
34:09
Oh my god, I need to do more like you.
34:11
It has helped significantly but being mindful that I've also been a practicing Buddhist for over 20 years. So, like, I had a little primer there. But it's still it's still a practice. I'm still I've been doing this for over 20 years. It's still work. Yeah, I didn't know at all but I have to do it. I have. I have to remind myself because I am the first thing I go when I wake up is let me go get my phone and see what's going on in scram, how many emails who's texting me and saying that 15 minutes of grounding myself is going to make the rest of the day so much better? Yes, again, it is one of those things where like, no indeed, don't pick up the
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phone. Don't But
35:02
I feel that I do.
35:05
You know what, and that's why I always say, you know, I think being present is one of those things that you were always going to have to constantly work with. I mean, I'm looking at your the Dalai Lama, and then it comes naturally, but not for me.
35:16
No, and I mean, I look up to you and that way I that's something that I really want to be actively like working on and getting better on because I think we all get so and I mean, sure, I'm sure you can relate as a business owner, or as like, what's next? What's next? What's going on? You know, we're all over the place and we lose.
35:32
Check. You have to think future but about the future you need to be in the present to Yes, and yeah, very hard dichotomy to navigate. And then, you know, oh my god, why did I do that? I went, Oh, I just, you can't change it.
35:49
Yeah, I know. It's It's so hard. But what we're working on it. We are
35:55
it is like I said it is a journey. Okay, so where can people find you? Where do you want them? To hang out with you, like how do they know we'll learn more and join more things with the confident collective. I want all that I'm gonna make sure guys for those of you who are not watching this on YouTube but are listening on the podcast, I will make sure it's in the show notes too.
36:15
Amazing. Yeah, you can find me at re n Lingus on Instagram Tick Tock my blog is Rei dash every day calm and then you can also find us at confident collective and at the competent collective calm so and really through our Instagram is where we update everyone on our events and happenings which we hope to be back to very soon but who knows.
36:44
Amazing. Well, thank you so much for joining us and I cannot wait to have everybody get to know you better. For those of you who are listening. I again all this information will be in the show notes. notes. And for those of you who are listening, FYI if you want to get to know who ran isn't all her beautiful facial features when she's talking and understand why I say she's gonna light up any room just with her smile, you got to check it out on YouTube because it will be there too. So thank you so much for joining us.
37:18
Thank you for having me. I love chatting with you. And thank you so much.
37:22
Thanks again for joining us on this episode of coming clean with indie lay. As always, I'm your host and delay, and I'd love to know what else you'd like to hear from us. So drop me an email at coming clean at indie lead.com. And if you love what you're hearing, please subscribe and do give us a rating. Thanks for listening
Transcribed by https://otter.ai