Martial Arts is the Solution to Your Identity Struggle

This podcast is about dealing with your identity struggle as part of the Asian diaspora. I share personal stories and sometimes interview others to promote healthy, honest conversations about what it means to carry trauma, resentment, and confusion—and how we move toward peace, joy, and self-love. I don’t have all the answers. This is an ongoing conversation.

But today, I have a solution: learn martial arts.

If you’re a young, lost kid struggling with your identity like I was, this can change your life. It might not solve everything, but it will transform you—physically, mentally, emotionally. Go find a dojo. Book a class. If it’s not the right fit, find another. Keep showing up. That’s the secret: consistency.

On this show, I talk a lot about accepting your cultural identity—learning to forgive your family, let go of resentment toward your mother culture, and finally accept yourself. But maybe I’ve been overthinking it. Maybe you just need to get your ass kicked… and then learn how to kick ass.

Even if you’re not into martial arts yet, it’ll still help. You’ll gain strength, confidence, discipline—and most importantly, you’ll start respecting yourself. That’s what I would’ve told my 15-year-old depressed, awkward, gooning, video game–addicted self. I’d throw him into a dojo and watch that flabby blob turn into a diamond stud.

Now I’m 32. I’m in the best shape of my life. I go to the gym five days a week. I box. I just tried muay thai for the first time (shoutout to Byron). I’m a blue belt in Kyokushin karate with three years of training, and I wish I had started at 15. (Big shoutout to San Diego Kyokushin Karate and Sogyel Sensei—thank you!)

Were you into Dragon Ball Z, Bruce Lee, Tekken, or Final Fantasy? I’m telling you: lean into your Main Character Syndrome. Become the hero of your own story. Martial arts will get you fit, teach you how to protect yourself, and give you the energy that says “I’m not someone to mess with.” You’ll walk taller. You’ll carry yourself with quiet, calm confidence.

You won’t be stuck in your head all the time. You’ll be punching, kicking, sweating, growing. And yeah, if you’re stronger and more confident, your dating life improves. If you’re more disciplined, your work improves. Because how you do one thing is how you do everything.

Martial arts makes you a better person. And if you’re Asian, it connects you to a deep, ancient legacy. If you’re not Asian, you’re still joining a global tradition. The Ancestors will smile on you.

Channel your pain—rage, sadness, neglect, confusion—into one clean punch of pure positive intent. A kamehameha wave from your soul. Change your life. Then change the world.

Here’s the twist: there is no solution to the identity struggle. Because it was never a problem. It only has power when you obsess over it. Once you move differently, live with strength and purpose, that struggle starts to fade.

You’ve just proven to yourself that you’re capable. That you can do pushups, throw a kick, protect your loved ones, and make a difference.

Do it for 15-year-old you. Do it for your future self. Do it for the ones you love. Do it for your ancestors.
 Do it for love.

Fantastic video if you want to get started in martial arts:

DAY ONE | What I'd Do If I Was Starting From Scratch

Bruce Lee: Be like water (Inspirational)