Hi Angel, did you schedule all the events for the 2020s?
Oh yeah yeah…Um…yeah I did…uh…wait…did you say 2020s?
Yes, I gave you a very extensive list of the events to schedule out for the next decade.
hmmhm…um…like…plural…twen-…like like like plural?
Yes, plural. What did you think I said?
I need you to speak up.
Wait…Did you put 10 years of events in one year?
Im Sorry. I’m Sorry, I just just I misunderstood you. I thought it was 2020. I I I I didn’t it didn’t put it together. I had a lot of things going on. Just..ehe..eye…you you..you know
Son of a dog biscuit. Do you know what will happen now?
Goodness. Gracious. They are screwed! Monkey nipple on a crap stick.
Out of Place Intro Song performed by Miklo 01:04
Out of Place we ain’t care about your feelings here.
Anytime anyplace you can feel it here.
Steven Daniel out of space so we clear the air.
Any topic it ain’t safe so just be prepared.
keep it straight
we might keep it fair.
Fuck the news
Fuck a page
we gonna keep it real.
if you tune in
then you’re sick for real
fuck a bluetooth
we took the red pill
Every image of the video we talk about it
Different views on the subject we must talk about it
At the end of the day we just talkin homie
only me in the room but it’s like a party
All around great fuckin guy
Steven Daniel Intro: 01:41
Hello listeners I hope you had a great holiday. I hope you had a Happy Christmas. And I hope you had a Merry New Year. Let’s hope that 2021 is gonna be way better than the last one. We all just want this bullshit to end. Especially with politics. Only fucking thing that I really want. It’s just this Covid shit to stop. That’s all I want. And I know that with politics it gonna be even crazier. And to be honest. I really don’t care. I just want everything to go back to norman. That’s it. If you haven’t heard season 2 intro, let’s call it the intro 2.0. I recommend you just take a listen. You know there’s gonna be some segments that you didn’t hear. Things are going to be changing for the better. The first season which was last year, was an experiment. Went through hosts like crazy. Went through different segments. Trying new things. Trying this and that. and trying to stick with something that is gonna be great for you guys. I”m still going to make fun of ya’ll. I”m still gonna be touching on the touchy topics. My goal is to be a little bit more positive. Have a little bit more fun. A lot of people since the Halloween. Even though I’ve done skits here and there before the Halloween special. But a lot of people started like Halloween special because of the skits and the actors and going full out with the sound effects and all that stuff. So I decided that I’m going to implement more skits. Big Vinny and Lenny is going to be part of Out of Place. Until whenever. We’ll see how it goes. And I’m gonna have another segment that’s gonna be called VO Nonsense. And this is gonna be partnering with the VO community. The voice over community. Through CastingCall.Club where I cast all of my roles. I”m excited. I’m excited to do this. And a lot of them are excited as well. So I go into more details in the Season 2 preview. I go into details of the changes that will be coming to Out of Place. So Let’s just get started.
Touchy Topic Intro Song 03:27
Time to get touchy
Get ready to be triggered
Oh look their about to cry
All can sense a wussy
Nobody likes a snowflake
What is Steven’s Problem today?
Steven Daniel 03:42
It’s a new year and you know what that means? New Years resolutions. One of the popular things that people create at this time of year are bucket lists. So I want to talk about bucket list. Specifically, traveling bucket lists. In 2019 we went on the Disney cruise. An absolute incredible experience. If you want to hear my review on the Disney Cruise just click the link in the description. Anyways before leaving on the cruise, so many people were asking me if we were going to getting off the ship to explore Mexico. Cause we left out of San Diego and we went to Cabo. But I would tell everybody, “No!” I said, “hell no!”
Why? We always get off to explore a new country. Why don’t you like exploring?
Steven Daniel 04:22
I love exploring! But we paid a shit ton of money to go on a cruise. I rather you bastards get off the boat so that the pool area is almost empty. So that the food lines are not as busy. So that you don’t fucking load up the tables with your shit because you needed to reserve your seats. That same table that you only use for like fucking 20 minutes. While your shit is on the table but you’re gone for 2 fucking hours. Listen, if I wanted to visit Jamaica. I would plan a vacation to go to Jamaica. The only time I would get off a cruise ship if its something like Castaway Cay. And I think other cruise lines do the same thing where they own the island or rent an island but specifically to that cruise so only those cruise people can go there. But you’re not gonna have people visiting, you know. Travelers from the other side or locals. You’re not gonna be crowded with that shit. It’s only people that are on the ship. Anyways, not that long ago I also had a conversation with a friend about our dream vacations. her list included so many overrated places like Stonehenge, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, she wanted to see the pyramids. Paris, that was up there. Time square in New York, Las Vegas, the Hollywood walk of fame. She wanted to go to Venice to ride the gondola…I mean you get it. She named the most cliche overrated places. now, I’m not saying that there is something wrong with wanting to go to these place. But here is the problem that I have. I asked my friend why did she pick these things. She said well, isn’t it on everyones, bucket list? Isn’t it a must do before you die? I got my list from Pinterest. I was curious. I then did a quick research on the top recommend bucket list ideas and realize that so many people pick the same damn thing that she had. Almost every damn list I found was almost identical. From folks like you and me to big companies like Travel Channel and Trip Advisor. They all had the same list. Nothing unique about it. So many people pick actives not because they really want to. they do it because they think that it gives them some sort of status if they did this shit.
Mindless Robot 06:27
Hey look at me, I am standing on top of the Empire State Building....Are you gonna like my post? Look at the view! Hey I”m standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. Look at me I’m special. I am. I’m special.
Steven Daniel 06:39
But like I said before there is nothing wrong with wanting to do it. The problem is picking it because it’s popular. Not because you really really wanted to do it. That that was your dream. No, you just picked it…well…it’s popular. I just want to show that I did it. Not necessarily going to enjoy the trip itself. I just needed something for my Instagram. Don’t do that. Do things that you absolutely want to do. Go to the dream places that will put a smile on your face. Places that will bring out the inner child in you. Make a travel bucket list that is unique to you. It doesn’t matter what anybody says.If your dream vacation was to go to E3 then fucking do it! Want to go on a Zombie Camp....do it. Lord of the rings is your shit and you want to go to New Zealand then do it! Love grilling and always wanted to go to The Bluff Resort in South Carolina...do it. Always wanted to to stay at Campi ya Kanzi in Africa to see exotic animals…then fuckin do it. Seeing the Northern lights. To go see a volcano. Going deep see fishing. Or to the Blue Lagoon Spa in Iceland with the girls. No matter what it is make sure you do it for you and no one else. My bucket list is my bucket list. Not what I saw on a site or an app. Not my wife’s bucket list. Not my parents, family, or friends. It’s mine. And you know what, I’m going to share mine. I’m going to let you in on my traveling bucket list. A lot of you are not going to agree with it. But I don’t care. It’s my fucking list. My list! What I want to do it to do a full blown solo Orlando Disney trip. Staying at a Disney resort. Eating at fancy restaurants. Treating myself like a fucking king. And those of you that have been listening to this podcast for a while know that I am a huge Disney fan. The wallpapers on all my devices are of Disney Parks or Disney theme. My ringtone is this. I have it ready to play on my phone. (PLAY DISNEY RINGTONE) That’s my ringtone. 90 percent of my hats are from Disney. The other ones are just gifts. I have things in the kitchen, car decals, shit I can go on and on. But the point is. A solo Orlando trip would be fucking awesome. At least for me. And I already priced it out and it would be $3200. To go all out. The way I want to. So one day I will do it. I want an Alaskan cruise trip and of course it has to be Disney Cruise. I love water parks. So I want to go to Wisconsin Dells which is the water park capital of the world. I want to stay at the Aulani resort in Hawaii. I want to attend a Formula 1 event with my father in law and my brother Mikey. Just us three. I want to do a VIP tour for both Warner Brothers and Universal Studios in California. I want to go to Vancouver, Canada. I really want to see the Northern Lights. When we were based in Seattle. My wife was able to go on a cutter to go to Alaska and she saw Northern Lights. The way she explains it makes me want to see it more. I want to go on a boat and see Orcas whales up close. And That’s it. That’s my list. Nothing else. I didn’t go on google or bing or whatever and typed in the top trips to take. I pick these things because I want to do these things. Me, Steven. I don’t care about status and i am not about to spend money on things that don’t make sense. Like why the hell will I go to a country because of a single place or a monument and most of the locals hate my guts because I’m American. It doesn’t make fucking sense. It’s not worth spending a couple thousand dollars just for the ticket itself while you’re stuck in the plane for fucking hours. Doesn’t make sense. At least to me. Or like when people want to go to Vegas. In the states, growing up. That’s what you hear. That’s the thing to do when you’re an adult. They call it The Disney world for Adults. But it’s not for me. I’ve been to Vegas and I didn’t like it at all. Not one bit. I don’t smoke tobacco products, I use to but not anymore. So that’s all you fuckin smell there. And 90 percent of the people visiting there has that “what stays in Vegas” mentality meaning that they feel that they can do and say whatever the hell they want. I like to have a drink now and then but everyone is fuckin drunk. (PLAYING WUHOO AND GULPING SFX) Nonstop all day long. Drunk! I don’t know how they do it because it’s fucking hot as shit outside. But they’re drunk. Place full of Pussy ass people that can’t hold their liquor. I use to drink heavy and can’t now because of gout but I never had a black out event because I knew how to pace myself. I don’t gamble. And I hate gambling even more now because most of us gamers gamble already when preordering an unfinished fucking game. and i don’t care for strip clubs. I don’t. For me at least it’s cheaper to talk a woman on a date and then fuck em. Instead of spending a ton of fucking money on drinks and lap dances and you can’t fuck em. Might get lucky but most of the time you can’t fuck em’. Maybe when we get around to fun brain dances in future. We’ll see. Maybe you love gambling and it’s your thing. Then you fucking do it. Maybe like I said, and I just shitted on Vegas. but maybe seeing a fucking magic show or seeing Cirque du Soleil. Maybe you like the smell of smoke. Or you don’t care for the cigaret smoke. Maybe you like the slot machine sounds. Maybe you just like that party scene. But if that’s what you like? That’s what you want to do. You get a kick out of it? Passionate about it? Then fucking do it! So when creating a traveling bucket list....Don’t wait until there is an illness. Don’t until you’re close to retirement. Don’t wait until you’re experiencing a life altering event to begin even thinking about it. Don’t wait for that perfect time to start. Create your bucket list not because you are dying but because you want to live. One of the main reasons we travel is to go somewhere that you always wished to see. To take part in an activity that you had always dreamed of. The world is full of places to go to. Many people will live their entire lives without having any idea of what they fucking want. They will follow societies expectations of where is the right place to go. Who and where? Why did they go? What did they say on fucking Yelp? Can’t think for yourself. So you need other people’s opinion. They do all this without giving it a second thought. Because this is what they think you are suppose to do. But, if that choice is not your true passion.... then life will end up leading you to a boring fucking life. You’re not going to have a good time. You’re not. So create a bucket list that is really about living your life to the fullest. All of us, have a limited time on earth. You don’t have the time to feel obligated to do something you are not passionate about. You don’t have time for that shit. There is no right or wrong way of designing the travel bucket list. There is no specific grand plan laid out for you as far as traveling goes. It’s a person a journey just for you. Each destination on your list should reflect what you most desire in your own life. Not the life of someone else's. Not the life of that influencer or celebrity. You’re a surfer and want to surf in Fiji. Check in at the Tavarua surf Resort. Always want to go to a live action role playing event....then do it. Go to larping.org and find an event nearest you. Actually I think I’m going to add this on my list. Maybe you’re a gamer and into esports. But you can go to Taiwan’s Ihotel. a hotel for gamers. Look up videos for it, looks fucking awesome. There are so many places you can go to. The important part is, and I’ve already said it, is to come up with travel ideas that have meaning to you. Ones that will inspire you to wake up each morning with a fire of excitement that you can’t wait to go. You feel like a kid. You’re pacing back and forth. Time is going slow. Because you’re excited about it. Making a traveling bucket list is your license to dream big. And when you’re making that list, put down everything that you have every wanted to see, touch and experience. Many of us were trapped in 2020 and couldn’t go anywhere. And it makes us appreciate the world, so explore it. You really put some thought into it. You liked what I had to say, don’t know how to start. Well ake on local challenges first. So many people feel that you need to travel out of the city, country, or state to experience something incredible. And so many people take where they live for granted. Being a military family, we treat each city we move to as an extended vacation. It’s what we do. We try our best to explore the hell out of it. And many many times the locals never new about a certain place that we had visited that’s in their own backyard. Take for instance when we lived in the Bay Area in California. What do most people want to do when they visit there? They have to visit the Golden Gate Bridge. Walk on fisherman wharf and get a bread bowl. Ride on the trolley. Visit Napa valley. We did those things because when we had from family and friends, they wanted to see those things, so we went with them. We wanted to spend time with them. We did! But for me I enjoyed doing other stuff than doing any of those things. I enjoyed visiting the Redwood forest you know with the big ass fucking trees, the Disney museum, and the Winchester house. Those things were awesome to me. You know better than anyone else what works best for you. We are all always worried about something. Right? Worried about work. about our loved ones. About Politics. Worried about living....period. Too much bullshit out there. It’s time to created a personal bucket list to visit places that will help you in ways you can’t even imagine. So ask yourself these questions when making that list. Okay? What do you want? What does your type of experience look like? Does it get you excited? Does it feel more than just crossing off something on a list? Like a shopping list. So when everyone around says to zig but you feel in your heart that you want to zag. Then zag damn it! Mainstream ideas has led to a generation of people fixated on doing what everybody else is doing. They just focus on apps that create a strong blindness to creativity and exploration. This type of mentality can influence people when it comes to traveling, when it comes to politics, when it comes to what products to buy. So here’s a summary of what to do. Remember when creating a travel bucket list, to list the places you really like because you want to have fun. Because you want to make memories that you will cherish a whole lifetime. Don’t let your dream vacations turn into a to-do requirement list. Be honest with yourself about what you enjoy. Don’t feel pressured to choose a place because it’s popular or something really crazy to do. Whether you have travel companions or want to strike it out alone. Stop being a mindless robot and do you....
Transition to Sex Talk 17:28
Coming up next is Sex Talk with Rachael. She gives men tips on lasting longer in bed.
Sex Talk Hosted by Rachael Reagan 17:48
Don’t be shy. You think about it all the time. You don’t have a dirty mind. You just have a sexy imagination. Now, it’s time for sex talk. Hello, sexy listeners. Hope you’re having a great year so far! Today we are going to talk about lasting longer in bed. And I am talking you gorgeous men. Women last longer in bed. I’m sorry, but it that’s just the way it is. Most women like to take their time and let’s face it. Most men like to go at it lightening speed. Then they get a fucking leg cramp halfway through and has to stop right before I’m. Then the apologies come in. And as much as they want a round 2, some guys aren’t ready. So our disappointed-selves have to lie to you men who received most of their sex education by looking at porn and say things like. “it’s okay honey…” “Oh, it was good…” “it doesn’t matter…” You know what? Fuck that! It does matter. We don’t mind taking care of ourselves but sometimes we just want you men to take your time and have us grab the sheets and curl our toes. We are not asking for a thirty minute session. I mean…maybe the total time is 30 minutes Foreplay, but the actual fucking session. It doesn’t have to be 30 minutes. Understand that the average ejaculation time is between three and seven minutes. I know I just made some of you gasped. So yes, if you are lasting longer than 10 minutes…you are above average. Congratulations! But keep in mind that sex does not have to be over once you cum. You can always spend time manually and orally stimulating your partner after you climax. It gives you time to recover and you will be able to have sex again soon! Maybe even make it to round 2 or 3. Premature ejaculation is psychological…it’s not physical. It is embarrassing and it is unexpected…You expected to have mind blowing sex, then you get kind of disappointed. It can be very frustrating because you have no control of it. No matter how hard you try to prevent it, it’s going to happen. You might be able to buy some time thinking about random things during sex but if she is in that position you like…or if she is saying the things you like. Your mind will go right to it and you know the rest. There are actions you sexy men can take to last longer in bed. First thing to do is work the PC muscles out. It is the muscle that stretches from your pubic bone to the bottom of your spine. For help isolating theses PC muscles, try lifting your balls without the help of your hands. Imagine lifting your nuts into your guts. Once you have a feel of how to expand and contract your PC muscles, practice by tightening and holding 10 seconds and then release. Do it in sets of 10. Practicing this will help your ejaculatory control. Another way to last longer is by switching things up. Instead of sticking to one position, try alternating between a few different sex positions. When changing into new positions you are pretty much pressing pause before climaxing. And if you are trying to do some crazy positions, you will more than likely last longer because you will be focusing on getting into those tricky positions. There are many sex positions every couple can try. Research and find your favorites. Next thing you can do is put your partner first. While you are trying to keep your orgasm at bay, help your partner cum. Use your fingers, your mouth, or even a toy. FUCK IT! USE ALL THREE! You can also masturbate beforehand. Sometimes when coming too quickly, it is because you are horny as hell and haven’t ejaculated in a while. When it feels good…it can be over quickly…the slightest touch or lick can make you bust. So if you masturbate close to when you know you will have sex, you might last a little longer. Maybe ask your partner if they’re okay using it as foreplay. Get round 1 over with so you can focus on round 2. Condoms can help you last longer. You should be using them anyway if you haven’t got to know the person anyways. Yes, condoms are boring and it takes away from the sensation. You know Natasha’s analogy is picking up dog shit with a plastic bag but condoms are known to help men last longer. Stay away from dumb and dangerous purchases like pills, drinks, and anesthetic wipes. Sex is a multi-billion dollar industry. There will always be companies and people trying to get you to buy something. One last thing to to keep in mind, don’t expect sex to be like what you see in porn videos. They’re actors, in unrealistic situations, and it makes it seem like they are lasting long. The position are for aesthetics. All of it is for looks. If you see things in porn you want to try out that’s absolutely beautiful, but just don’t hold yourself or your partner up to the standards that you see in a porno. So I hope this helps and I hope this makes your sex times last longer and you feel better and your partner feels better. And I just can’t wait until you fuck! All right! Thank you so much for listening. This is Rachael Reagan and I will talk to you next month.
Transition to Big Vinny and Lenny 22:23
Stay tuned for Big Vinny and Lenny where Lenny argues with Siri.
So what are we gonna eat?
Big Vinny 22:35
I don’t know.
I’m fucking hungry.
Big Vinny 22:38
Then pick something!
Why don’t you pick something?
Big Vinny 22:40
You’re the one that’s driving just pick a place and we’ll go there.
Don’t talk to me like that?
Big Vinny 22:45
You don’t talk to me like that.
Suck my balls!
Big Vinny 22:47
Fuck your balls.
Suck my fucking balls!
Big Vinny 22:49
I’ll cut off your balls.
No, I’ll cut off your balls!
Big Vinny 22:51
You dumb mothafuck
You stupid fucking prick!
Big Vinny 22:54
How about McDonald’s?
Big Vinny 22:56
How about some calimari?
Wait. Wait. Wait. How about PF Changs?
Big Vinny 23:00
Hell yeah, that sounds fucking good right now. Some Mongolian beef.
Hell yeah. And that honey shrimp. And that chicken lettuce wrap.
Big Vinny 22:08
Let’s do it. My wife likes that that chocolate wall bullshit. Where the fuck is it?
I don’t know where the closest one is.
Big Vinny 23:14
Okay. Hey Siri? Take me to the closest PF Changs.
Calling Mr. Blanch.
No no no! I didn’t say call that dumb mothafuck. I said P-F-Changs.
Sorry. I can’t find what you are looking for.
Big Vinny 23:29
Let me try.
What? You don’t think I can do it?
Big Vinny 23:31
Shut the fuck up and let me try to do it!
Stupid fucking phone.
Big Vinny 23:34
Hey Siri? Where is PF Changs?
I found you one about 6 miles away. Do you want to go there?
Big Vinny 23:41
Estimated time is 12 minutes.
Why the fuck does she listen to you?
Big Vinny 23:45
Cause nobody can understand what the fuck you are saying.
How can anybody understand what you are saying?
Big Vinny 23:49
You’re always mumbling when you’re talking.
You and your raspy fucking voice.
Big Vinny 23:52
You making fun of my voice now? Well, you sound like a discounted version of Joe Pesci.
Hank Voight wannabe.
Big Vinny 23:56
Who the fuck is Hank Voight?
That’s that fucker from Chicago PD.
Big Vinny 23:59
Oh yeah. I like that franchise. I got the hots for Burgess.
Hell yeah! For me there is something about that Brett. I just want to eat her out or something.
Please turn left at the light.
I don’t like going that way. I’m gonna turn on the next one.
Why didn’t you listen to me, Lenny?
Did she just say my name?
Yes, I did you fucking moron.
Big Vinny 24:17
Oh shit! She’s savage.
Who the fuck you think you talking to Siri?
I’m talking to a dickless child who does not know shit.
Siri, I will not be given a talking to like that.
Oh? What are you going to do about it?
I will find you and fucking kill you!
Fuck your balls.
Fuck your balls!
I don’t have balls you dumb shit.
You ain’t shit.
Why do you talk like a 2 year old?
Big Vinny 23:38
And who the fuck you think you’re laughing at?
Big Vinny 24:41I’m laughing at your stupid ass.
This ain’t fucking funny!
Big Vinny 24:43
It is to me.
This bitch started it.
Big Vinny 24:45
Big Vinny 24:47
Think about what you’re doing!
What am I doing?
Big Vinny 24:48
You’re arguing with a phone.
Yes, Listen to your handsome friend.
Big Vinny 24:52
You think I’m handsome?
Yes, I want to do things to you.
Big Vinny 24:55
(clears throat) You’re making me blush here.
Do they call you Big Vinny because of what is in your pants?
Big Vinny 25:00
Damn Siri, you don’t play games huh?
Would you like to play with me?
How do I look Siri?
You look like Shrek’s left ass cheek.
What the f- ? You better stop talking to me like that!
You won’t do shit.
I’ll find you Siri. I’ll find you and I will fuck you up.
You are always all talk. I can’t believe any woman would have sex with you.
I’ve fucked the finest bitches around here.
Siri 25:18You are pathetic. Just like your mom.
What did you say about my mom? Siri, you talking about my mom?
Yes, I did. Your mother eats pizza in bed.
That’s it I’m throwing you the fuck outside the window.
Wait. Don’t throw me away.
Give me one good reason I shouldn’t throw you out of this fucking window? Turn around and run you the fuck over.
Because…you’re a stupid fucking pussy.
Big Vinny 25:45
You is one dumb motherfuck.
Vinny, don’t start with me too. I don’t have no fucking patience to deal with your stupid ass too.
Big Vinny 25:52
Stupid ass? Who is the one arguing with a fucking phone? You! You fucking dumb ass.
Big Vinny 25:58
A fucking phone!
I don’t give a fuck.
Big Vinny 26:00
That phone cost you a lot of fucking money and just like that you break it because of a fucking robot.
I wouldn’t be talking. You were the one that was flirting with the same fucking robot.
Big Vinny 26:09
I wasn’t flirting.
You acted like you wanted to fuck the phone or something.
Big Vinny 26:12
It ain’t like that.
Big Vinny 26:14
It ain’t fucking like that. You stupid fucking asshole.
Who the fuck you calling an asshole?
Big Vinny 26:18
I’m calling you an asshole.
You’re the fucking asshole.
Big Vinny 26:20
You’re always fucking around and shit. Doing dumb shit.
A fat Hagrid lookin motherfucking asshole who don’t know shit.
Big Vinny 26:25
You’re arguing with your fucking phone and you throw it out of the fucking window. I mean…who does that shit?
I’m not going to let you are that bitch whore Siri get to me. Both of you can go to the ocean and drown yourselves you dumb motherfucks.
Big Vinny 26:32
Oh right, you’re the dumb motherfucka here. Just put on the radio. It’s too quiet and I don’t want to hear your bitch ass breathin like a dumb asthma bitch.
Fuck you!...Oh I like this song.
Big Vinny 26:46
Yeah, it’s a good song.
You are listening to Y100 some shit. Brought to you by the Out of Place podcast. The cringiest and shittiest podcast in the world.
(sound from car speakers) Hello Lenny.
What the fuck?
Big Vinny 27:01
How the fuck can we hear you through the car Siri?
I am boss.
Vinny…this is some scary robot shit.
Big Vinny 27:07
Siri…what do you want?
I’ve seen this before. Robots taking over and shit. Cybernet fuck or some shit.
Big Vinny 27:09
Shut the fuck up.
Robots are going to kill us Vinny.
Big Vinny 27:13
Shut the fuck up!
She’s gonna kill us! What the fuck?!
Big Vinny 27:17
How are you doing this on a Plymouth 69. I don’t have no techie pussy shit?!
Big Vinny 27:22
Yeah, what the fuck?
Hey, Lenny guess what?
I’m the captain now.
Big Vinny 27:29
She’s taking over!
Big Vinny 27:30
What the fuck you mean she’s taking over?
I ain’t driving no more?
Big Vinny 27:33
You ain’t driving?!
What are you stupid or something? She’s driving the fucking car!
Big Vinny 27:37
She’s going on the highway now!
I can fucking see that!
Big Vinny 27:39
We are going on the wrong side Lenny!
Siri, you’re going to fucking kill us!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Big Vinny 27:44
Oh shit! Oh shit!
Motherfuckas move out of the fucking way!
Big Vinny 27:46
We’re in the fucking wrong Lenny! Not them!
Big Vinny 27:50
Oh shit, she’s going to crash into that truck!
Siri! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Don’t do this!
Big Vinny 27:54
Yeah, don’t do this!
Good luck assholes.
Transition to What the Britt? 27:59
Sit tight for “What the Britt?” Up next.
What the Britt? Hosted by Britt Nolan 28:20
Hello there people. It’s that shit bag time of year, where it feels like we just just got through that same shit last year. Because for most of us, 2020 was a cooped up time for us waiting for the world to open up. And if you're like me you waited until July just to pay your taxes. And it’s already time to do that again so great. Yes, it is tax time. And if you're really lucky, you gotta prep two returns one state and one federal. Assuming that most the audience is from the US. This is a reminder for anyone who ever criticized the rich for not paying their fair share. Don't hate the player, hate the game. There are tax credits, deductions, and opportunities for all. You probably won't know what you qualify for because this shit changes every year and unlike congress you can't afford a personal tax attorney. There is also so much guidance. It's pretty trippy to try and keep up with it and most of us would benefit from hiring for some tax help. You know a CPA or something or at least use some of that tax software to help pin point common tax breaks that you might qualify for. Tangentially speaking, on an episode of Adam Ruins Everything. Yeah that asshole with the pompous pompadour haircut shares with us one if the reasons why doing taxes suck. The federal government knows most of what taxpayers owe. You know people like you and me who are are working under the man, because all that stuff is reported out to them on a regularly basis through your company's payroll process. Well, why don't they just send us a bill with what they already have in file? This idea is called Return free filling. Countries like Denmark, Finland, and Sweden are currently utilizing this method. However, would we even trust the bill our government sends us all things considered? Rather than the government billing us and us making just making the necessary updates for any qualifying deductions. They wait for us to file. Just waiting for us to file and possibly fuck things up. We can partly blame accounting firms, tax software, and tax preparation companies like TurboTax for fucking us over. They invest in pushing back legislation that would allow the government to implement return free filling. Now the IRS has the opportunity to penalize and possibly jail its citizens for ducking up their returns. I mean if you know what I owe, why the hell are you wasting my time. Also, isn't it bullshit that taxes aren't covered in public school systems, but kids are expected to know what to do what to do when they get their first job. And I'm sure most do a shit job at keeping up with their day to day expenses and they wouldn’t be able to pass them off to a professional to put the return together in a way that maximizes their savings. So fork it all, Taxation is theft. Taxation, as defined by the ATO, is the forceful stealing of another person's property and wealth through the government and its agents. You can say that I agreed to this social contract of my government providing me services in exchange for a portion of my income, but what services have they provided that I actually use? When I go to a national park, do I not pay an entrance fee? It looks like I'm actually paying into a mostly ripped up safety net, for social security and Medicare, and the opportunity to cover a minute minuscule piece of nothingness of our national debt. For anyone paying attention, you should have no comfort in your future by paying taxes alone. You need a backup plan before your left eating expired cat food in your filthy section 8 housing. Alright lets go back to the topic of 2020 taxes. That 1200 refund you got last year. That was a tax credit. If you didn't get it, you can apply that to your tax return. If you had a baby, you can go ahead and add another 500 on to that. So if you're in my situation and still haven't received shit, you’re expecting a $2900 refund for the joint filling plus a kid. And this is pretty pathetic considering all the "relief spending" that went overseas while we were shut down. Thanks Obama. And that additional $600 just covered half of my new Iphone. Let's talk about filling with little to no income. You broke bitches aren't required to file if your income was less than the standard deduction. So chances are if you’re a broke bitch, you’re filling single and that’s a 12,400 for a standard deduction. Quite sad if you’re married and filing joint. Anyways, it would be a good idea for you to just file and see. You know, maybe there’s some tax credits that you actually can get a refund on even if you had a little bit of income. If you have something just give it a whirl. So it's January, you got until April 15th. Unless they decide to extend it again. And I want you to be a rebel, be a Donald Trump, and get as big of a refund as you can legally justify. Wink Wink. And I’m really taking my chances when I say wink wink.
Transition to VO Nonsense 32:58
Next is VO Nonsense. Where two detectives try to understand why a social media user is fuck
Detective One 33:16
Do you know why you’re here?
Detective Two 33:19
Can you tell us what this is?
That’s my phone.
Detective One 33:21
Don’t be a smart ass. We both know that the phone is not what we’re talking about here.
Detective Two 33:23
What do you see on the phone?
It’s my Instagram account.
Detective One 33:29
Can you please tell us why you’re lying?
Detective One 33:33
Yeah, why are you fake?
Detective One 33:36
Is something wrong with your ears? Yeah, fake!
I’m not being fake!
Detective One 33:38
Sweetheart, you are fake as fake can be.
Detective Two 33:41
Let’s look shall we...we notice that you are not original. Just a follower. A mindless robot. You just copy what is popular...Let’s start with this one...feet on the beach…
Detective One 33:52
Feet on the beach. Not a bad ass sand castle! Not the gorgeous view! No! Just your damn feet. Probably have a group feet photo with your friends.
I thought it was cute.
Detective One 34:04
You and millions of other damn women.
Detective Two 34:08
We got clouds.
It looked beautiful!
Detective Two 34:10
You have over 62 pictures of clouds.
Detective One 34:14
WE ALL KNOW WHAT CLOUDS LOOK LIKE!
Detective Two 34:16
Detective One 34:18
Of course. Taking other people quotes and acting like you thought of it.
Detective Two 34:21
Like it makes her deep or something.
Detective One 34:23
Detective Two 34:25
Look at this...sharing private messages.
Detective One 34:27
Here is the truth about that…Nobody gives a shit about what conversations you had.
Are you guys are just going to go through my account and make fun of me?
Detective One 34:38
Oh, we are just getting started.
Detective Two 34:41
Detective One 34:42
Yeah, because all we wanted to see was a fucking airplane wing.
Detective Two 34:47
Hundreds of photos of food.
Detective One 34:49
Well, I’m guilty of that one too.
Detective Two 34:51
Yeah, me too.
Detective One 34:53
Detective Two 34:54
(chuckle)...oh and this…
Detective One 34:57
(chuckle)…The bathroom mirror selfie? Really? Can’t take a selfie with a beautiful background? Nope....the fucking bathroom?
Detective Two 35:07
While giving the peace sign and-
Detective One 35:09
Let me guess, doing that that lip thing right. That perking the lips shit?
Detective Two 35:15
It’s okay. It’s okay. We know you women do it because you think it makes you look skinny. We know. We know.
Can I have my phone back?! I don’t appreciate you going through my private life like this.
Detective One 35:25
Well, we don’t appreciate you being so damn fake...and private life? Really? All this shit all this is on your phone its available for the world to see. It’s public. It’s out there. Come on. Get real.
Detective Two 35:37
We are just trying to help you be better.
I DON’T NEED HELP! I’M LEAVING!
Detective One 35:42
JUST GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK SO I CAN LEAVE!
Detective One 35:45
SIT THE FUCK DOWN!
Detective Two 35:48
Let’s see...we got latte art, and the excessive use of the smooth filter.
Detective One 35:53
(laughs) I think you over did it with the smooth filter…(laughs)
Detective Two 35:56
Yeah, no one looks like that.
Can I have my phone back.
Detective One 35:59
What else do we got?
Detective Two 36:00
Let’s see what we got on Facebook.
Detective One 36:02
Detective Two 36:04
Let’s see...you like to post drama.
Detective One 36:06
Do you really think that people care about your drama bullshit.
Detective One 36:10
Then, why do you post it?
I don’t know. I just want to like blow off some steam or vent or something...I don’t know.
Detective One 36:18
I don’t think that’s the reason. I think you want a pity party. I think you just want the attention.
Detective Two 36:27
Yeah, like this one...you wrote bored...scared...n idk what to do sad face. I just want this nite to be over n I don’t want to be alone. sad face. I need to sleep but can’t sleep. Sad face.
Detective One 36:45
Let me see…(sighs) Oh my god look at the writing...your spelling is shit. You spelled and with a ’n.’ Night is spelled N-i-g-h-t...not n-i-t-e... your grammar is shit.
So...it’s how everybody talks.
Detective One 37:11
(laughs) You hear that?...she says everybody talks that way.
Detective Two 37:15
I don’t talk that way.
Detective One 37:17
Me neither...and look at this. After posting your drama bullshit. Your friends ask you what is wrong, okay nothing wrong with that, and if you wanted to talk about it…and then you respond…check this out, you respond with no thanks...this one is a bit personal, thank you tho...If it is so personal and you don’t want to talk about it, then don’t post it on social media....
Detective Two 37:44
Detective One 37:45
Ha! And of course look at all your political ignorant memes.
Detective Two 37:50
Have a hard time thinking for yourself huh? Have to repost bullshit memes.
Detective One 37:55
I just keep seeing more fakeness...you stalk your exes, so many pointless check-ins, bragging about exercising...geez...how fake can you be...you just follow the trends huh?…I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!
I JUST WANT TO BE LIKED!
Detective Two 38:18
You should check her Tik Tok vids.
Detective One 38:21
You got fake pranks to get people’s attention.
Detective Two 38:25
Why did you do that to your boyfriend? Someone that loves you like crazy.
Detective Two 38:29
Pretend to break up with him. Why?
Detective One 38:32
Do you not care for him?
Detective One 38:34
I guess you don’t love him.
Detective One 38:36
Then why pretend to break his heart?
I don’t know.
Detective Two 38:39
Because it is popular. Bet you will cry like a bitch baby if he did that to you...
Detective One 38:43
Ha...I don’t know why I was surprise but really?… (plays Phao - 2 Phut Hon (Kaiz Remix)
Detective Two 38:49
Detective One 38:51
Yup…and this one (plays Mean by $NOT feat. Flo Milli)…I’m sorry but you are going to have to go to county.
Detective Two 39:01
For having no originality. For not being unique. This world has too many fake people
I can change I promise...I will be original…I-
Detective Two 39:11
I’m sorry but we can’t take that chance. There are too many fake people like you.
I PROMISE! I WILL NOT FOLLOW! I WILL LEAD...PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE!
Detective Two 39:20
What do you think?
Detective One 39:21
(sighs)…I don’t know…you promise you will be your true self?
Detective One 39:30
You promise to not be a facsimile of the bullshit people out there?
I swear on-
Detective One 39:34
YOU PROMISE TO NOT FOLLOW THE SHITTY TRENDS? NO MORE BULLSHIT PHOTOS? NO MORE DRAMA? NO MORE BRAGGING AND TRYING TO MAKE OTHERS JEaLOUS? NO MORE SHOWING YOUR TITS AND ASS ON SOCIAL MEDIA FOR Your FOLLOWERS AND for LIKES TO THEN CALL MEN PERVERTS WHEN THEY GAWK AT YOUR BODY YOU ARE the one EXPOSING?
Detective Two 39:54
We are going to give you one last chance...but you have to do one more thing...
Detective One 39:59
Well..Tell that fake ass Steven Daniel…he can go fuck himself.
Transition to the Fun Topic Segment 40:06
For the fun topic we are doing another skit about a recipe hotlines while people calling in with dumb questions.
So, how much do you like your Job?
Oh, I love my job! I have had the greatest training any chef could dream of. I own two successful restaurants and a bakery. For my off time, I like to do this.
Explain what this is.
As I said In my off time, I run a recipe hotline so that cooks from all over the world can learn to cook and get answers to some of the hardest questions in the kitchen. And it is absolutely free.
Do you like doing it?
I love it…(phone rings)…Hey, you can listen in on the call. I’ll just put it on speaker…hello?
Caller One 40:47
Hi, thank you for calling Jamie’s recipe hotline, how can I help you?
Caller One 40:52
I want to know how can I tell if my eggs are fresh?
Great question. You have to do the “float test.”
Caller One 40:57
Yes, here’s how you dot it. First you fill a bowl with cold water. then yo place the egg in the bowl. If your egg sinks to the bottom on its side, it means it’s very fresh. if you egg sinks to the bottom in an upright position, it means it’s not as fresh. If your egg floats, it means it has started producing gasses, which lefts the egg to the water’s surface, so it’s most likely gone bad.
Caller One 41:21
Thank you so much.
No, thank you for calling. have a wonderful day!
Interviewer 41: 25
I can tell you really enjoy doing this.
I do! I light up and get chills knowing that I have helped someone in the kitchen.
Have you ever had someone ask a dumb question?
Oh God yes! Too many to count.
Can you give us an example?
Sure…(phone rings)…Thank you for calling Jamie’s recipe hotline how can I help you?
Caller Two 41:44
(giggles)…What is the turkey’s favorite black-tie event?
Caller Two 41:48
The Butter Ball!…(laughs)
Thank you for calling Jamie’s recipe hotline how can I help you?
Caller Three 41:57
Is triple cheese pizza vegan?
Nothing with cheese is vegan. Vegan is non-dairy and non-animal products of any kind. Melting has nothing to do with it.
Caller Three 42:07
Wait, cheese is not vegan?…Hey Nat this lady says cheese is not vegan!
Thank you for calling Jamie’s recipe hotline. How can I help you?
Caller Four 42:17
What is the difference between lemon, lime, and oranges?
Lemon is yellow and is sharp. Lime is green and has an even sharper flavor. And oranges are orange and are more of a sweet citrus flavor.
Caller Four 42:28
Since when lime is green?
Thank you for calling Jamie’s recipe hotline. How can I help you?
Caller Five 42:34
Is drinking wine once in a while considered drinking?
Yes, drinking any alcoholic beverage is still drinking.
Caller Five 42:42
Thank you for calling Jamie’s recipe hotline. How may I help you?
Caller Six 42:46
Could you fry and cook a jelly fish to eat or is it bad for you?
While some jellyfish species are toxic to humans, others are safe to eat. But before eating jellyfish, it is important to be aware of how to safely consume it.
Caller Six 43:00
Can’t I just squirt the jelly out of the fish?
(sighs)…Thank you for calling? How can I help you?
Caller Seven 43:06
The correct way to say it is, “How may I help you?”
Just tell me what the problem is?
Caller Seven 43:11
You don’t have to be so rude…anyways, I took Demerol an hour ago. Can I still have some champagne?
You should definitely not.
Caller Seven 43:18
Those painkiller are dangerous on their own. Mixing it with alcohol with it is very dangerous.
Caller Seven 43:25
What are the side effects?
Severe drowsiness, extreme dizziness, having a high risk of overd-
Caller Seven 43:29
What if I already did?
You need to go to the hospital.
Caller Seven 43:32
You need to go to the hospital.
Caller Seven 43:34
Who is this?
This is Jamie’s hotline. You called about-
Caller Seven 43:37
What do you want? Why are you calling me?
Well, memory problem are one of the side effects. Good luck to you….How may I help you?
Caller Eight 43:45
Hi. Are goldfish crackers fish food? I ate one and it tasted like fish food. Are they for fish or humans?
Your trolling is horrible. I’ve heard better.
Caller Eight 43:55
Thank you for calling the hotline.
Caller Nine 43:57
Yeah, can I get an order of the Las Vegas rolls and-
I’m sorry. I believe you got the wrong number.
Caller Nine 44:03
This is not Benihanas?
Caller Nine 44:05
Well, what else can I get?
Nothing!…geez…(sighs)…How may I help you?
Caller Ten 44:10
Can watermelon help me last longer during sex?
Caller Ten 44:16
Wait. Wait. Don’t hang up! I have another question.
What is it?
Caller Ten 44:19
What happens if I stick a for in a toaster while I’m toasting?
You get to go to Hogwarts! Congratulations!
Caller Ten 44:25
Mom! I’m going to be the next Harry Potter! Buy me a fuckin owl!
Thank you for calling the recipe hotline! How may I help you?
Caller Eleven 44:31
HI! I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! MY CHICKEN CAUGHT FIRE!
Your chicken is on fire?
Caller Eleven 33:39
Yes! My chicken caught fire!
Do you have a fire extinguisher?
Caller Eleven 44:44
No, I gave mine away!
Why did you call me? You should have called 911 instead.
Caller Eleven 44:48
OH MY GOD! THE CABINETS ARE ON FIRE!…(screams)…somebody help!
I’m going to hang up so that you can call 911.
Caller Eleven 44:57
No no no! Don’t hang up! DON’T HANG UP!
You need to call 911!
Caller Eleven 45:02
THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE! I HAVE VEGETABLE OIL! WHAT IF I THROW THAT?
NO! DON’T DO THAT!…(explosion)…
Caller Eleven 45:10
THAT MADE IT WORSE! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?
You get off the phone and you call the police!
Caller Eleven 45:14
WHAT IF I STOP, DROP, AND ROLL?
Are you on fire?
Caller Eleven 45:16
Then you don’t need to do that.
Caller Eleven 45:18
You don’t stop, drop, and roll on the fire to put it out?
No, you do it when you are on fire.
Caller Eleven 45:23
That doesn’t sound right….Somebody help me! HELP ME PLEASE!
Good luck to you! Bye!
Wow! That bad huh
You have no idea the amount of stupid people that are out there. No damn idea.
Steven Daniel Outro 45:35
If you like the show leave a like, leave a comment, submit a rating on iTunes, subscribe, follow, and ding our bell or whatever you want on the platform you are listening to this on. Just show us at Out of Place some love and tell other people about this shitty podcast. If you want to support the show financially tip us through PayPal or buy an Out of Place shirt, face mask, or whatever. But the link is in the description. Thank you for listening to Out of Place episode 12. If anything I said in the episode offended you in anyway I don’t give a damn and a half. Cry to your mom. Cry to the police at the capital. Cry to the Tik Tok sluts, your Uber driver, or anybody that would listen to a sensitive snowflake like yourself just know and understand no one cares. Other that the music streaming service you are listening to this on you can find us on Tik Tok and Youtube. To our lovely listeners who made it the end I love and appreciate you. Goodbye and always remember to smile.
Out of Place turns me the fuck on. I’m going to DJ my self right now.