The NorthStar Narrative
The NorthStar Narrative
Finding Growth in Times of Change
Transitions are a natural part of life, but how do we navigate them with grace and faith? In this episode of the NorthStar Narrative, our Spiritual Life Director, Allen Hester, steps into the interviewer’s role to chat with Stephanie Shafer about the multifaceted experience of transitions. Stephanie candidly shares her personal experiences with change, touching on the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it—from fear and uncertainty to excitement and growth. She offers a heartfelt reflection on how embracing transitions is integral to God’s larger plan, especially in the context of the recent changes at NorthStar Academy.
We also delve into the emotional and spiritual dimensions of life’s transitions, highlighting the importance of being honest with God about our feelings of grief, guilt, and shame, and the healing that comes through surrender. Stephanie provides practical advice for those in the midst of both sudden and planned changes, underscoring the power of community support and simply being present with others in their time of need.
Hi, this is Stephanie Shafer and you're listening to the North Star Narrative, a podcast from North Star Academy. I want to thank you for joining us. I hope you're encouraged, challenged and motivated by what you learned today. Enjoy the story.
Stephanie Shafer:Hello everybody, welcome to this very special edition of the North Star Narrative. Now, before you think you're in the wrong place or listening to the wrong podcast, I know the voice you're hearing right now is different, but don't worry, we have Ms Stephanie Shafer with us here today. My name is Allen Hester, I'm the Spiritual Life Director here at North Star Academy and I have the very special privilege of interviewing and having a conversation with our director, ms Shafer privilege of interviewing and having a conversation with our director, ms Shafer, on a topic that I think many of you will find not only engaging but also very relevant to what you may be going through at the moment. So, first of all, let me just say once again how much we appreciate and value our school director, ms Shafer. Ms Shafer, welcome and thank you for joining us today. Thank you so much.
Allen Hester:It's a privilege to be on the other end of the mic again this time.
Stephanie Shafer:So that was going to be my first question is is it strange to be on the other side of the microphone? Is it strange to have somebody grilling you with all those amazing questions that you usually ask others?
Allen Hester:Yeah, no, not anymore, because we've done that so much through this podcast and through different avenues at North Star, and so you know, recording man now like 226 podcasts. That's a lot For me. It's become pretty just natural and fun, lots of fun. So I'm always eager to see what's going to happen on each episode, what God's going to do.
Stephanie Shafer:Absolutely so, to all of our listeners. You've just heard that there are 226 of these out there and they cover so many interesting and amazing topics, so I would encourage you. If you haven't ever just scrolled through the list and looked through our different topics, please do that. We'd love to have you look there. I would assume there's something there that might really really be special to you or applicable to your life and your situation there, so we encourage you to do that. All right, ms Shafer, I have a question for you. I'm going to say a word, and I want you to tell me some of the first thoughts that come to your mind when I say this word, and that word is transition.
Allen Hester:Transition Okay, hard, sad, difficult are the first ones, but also exciting, fun, adventurous. I think those are my first few words.
Stephanie Shafer:Okay, okay, I think those are excellent choices. I think one of the things that's interesting about the word transition is it probably evokes a different emotion or thought pattern in every single person, based on their own personal experience, and so we all have been through transitions, we all have had moments in our lives where things change, and so maybe we've responded differently to that depending on our personal situation, but I think you've hit on some key words there that are very applicable. So, ms Shafer, you said hard, difficult, and I think a lot of people find change to be that. Why do you think that is?
Allen Hester:I think, scary fear of the unknown and just getting really settled, satisfied, content with the same thing, sometimes routine is the easiest choice and so I think, even though people might want to change, want to jump out of a situation, it's just the easiest thing to keep going sometimes.
Stephanie Shafer:Excellent points you're making there, yeah, so I think it is probably tempting to want to stay the same. Maybe we have some kind of like desire to keep things within our control, or maybe what we perceive as our control. Of course, as we both know, god is really the ultimate one in control. So when transitions happen, we have to keep that perspective in mind. But I think you're right. A lot of people do find it difficult. Would you say that within our North Star community, are you seeing a lot of transitions in your term as leader and, if so, what have been some of the realities that you've had to face as a leader with the transitions that are taking place?
Allen Hester:Yeah, there's definitely been transitions, especially the 23-24 school year and now the 24-25, which we're heading into. There's been positions that either people have felt like, hey, it's time God's moving me to a different area which we've been able to celebrate. Now it's sad and it's hard, and sometimes you're like, oh, who's going to fill that gap? How are we going to pull together as a team to do, you know, to make sure we don't lose anything? Something's covered.
Allen Hester:But God always works that out for us in really unique ways that are evident that he's done it. But, yeah, it can be sad, but also it can be exciting, because God has just shown me really clearly that, as Christians, as people following him, no matter where we're working at Northstar, another school, a church, another ministry, any job out in the world, it's all. As we're Christians, you know it's mission, the mission field, every day, loving Him, making His name known, and so, no matter where we are, we're doing it all together. And so sometimes you might be at one place and then God's like, okay, I'm ready for you to go here for multiple different reasons, and so we're still working together even though we might not be in the same place. Does that make sense? So he's just gotten me to a contentment with that of knowing we can celebrate people coming and going and moving and new seasons, because he is about change. We see that I think of seasons summer, spring, winter, you know, fall, all of those, like things change.
Stephanie Shafer:Absolutely, and that change is necessary for the next season to come in. One has to end so that the other can begin, and so, with that, are there any changes going on at North Star that you want to share with our listeners, who maybe are part of our school community already? Maybe they want to know what are some of the changes that are happening going forward into this new school year.
Allen Hester:Yeah. So each year we probably usually have like a teacher or two or sometimes more, you know transitioning out. Maybe they have a lot of stuff going on with their family or health issues, or they're realizing they want to focus on their full-time job. You know, some teachers have full-time jobs outside of North Star and it's part-time here, sometimes they're full-time, and so teachers transition in and out. Sometimes they've retired and so that's happened in the past and we have a few teachers that we're celebrating that are transitioning out but we're so thankful for their hard work.
Allen Hester:We have three key positions that are transitioning out of 2425. That's our Dean of Students, scott Bergeron, who's been here for a long time, done some incredible work. God's calling him into brick and mortar school and so he's leaving online for, you know, at this season and moving into a brick and mortar school where I know he's going to thrive in that area as well as he did here. And then Chuck Deitch is transitioning out. His heart has been foster care for a long time, but he came here. We needed him for a while to really help us develop a lot of programs and and getting things in order and just tighten up our, our safety, because that's so important for our students. But he's transitioning back into the foster care area where his heart, you know, just longs and it was a cool development. So those two are key positions.
Allen Hester:And another key position right around in that area is our student success coach and that's transitioning out and we're, you know it's because things evolve and change. We're doing things different, still want to help our students have great success in every area. So Kimberly Smith is moving out of that area. But even though they've been key, they've been important and there's many responsibilities they've done. There still are. We're just changing things up and doing things in a different way, trusting God with each one of them, just like every staff and teacher that have come and gone. It's the right timing and the important work to do. So it's super hard and sad, you know, depending on your relationship with different people here, to see people leave and go. But I'm also excited for what God's doing at North Star and, you know, in their lives, because I think it's important, like we we are, to rejoice and in all things God calls us that. So that means even hard, things Right and things God calls us that.
Stephanie Shafer:So that means even hard things right, and so Thank you for that. You mentioned earlier about the difficulty and the sadness and that type of emotion that might be evoked. I think one emotion that also arises when change happens is maybe there's a feeling of uncertainty and, potentially, fear. So for our North Star students and their families, is there any reason to be afraid right now? Is there anything that we should be worried about?
Allen Hester:No, definitely not, and I know that, not because of me as the leader, but because God is our leader, and at North Star that's really true. We stay true to our mission for 27 years. We seek God and how he wants to move and change things, keep things the same, whatever he wants to do, we're really trying to seek Him. We are not perfect, so I'm sure we miss things, but we always want to stay on path every day that he has for us, and so we have a plan for our student success department and the safety and we have a really good team still in place that are coming together. And one thing I love about Northstar is everybody just chips in to see what's needed and helps one another, and we've been growing in our unity, growing in that as a team and really communicating well. I love collaborating with our teams and working on different stuff, for instance, the orientation. So there was change with that this year and each year we've tried to streamline it, tried to make it just the best it can be for parents and student supervisors to walk through and really be set up for success, and so I've already had parents reaching out to me that are returning. They're like woohoo, like this orientation is great and it's we've kind of minimized some of the things for returning parents so they don't have to do things that they've already learned, you know, and yeah, so I'm excited about that. So that was a change and that was.
Allen Hester:That's an example of how our team collaborated to um, just make sure everyone is successful as possible, and I think I'll put this plug in here If everyone reads their emails, the communication that we send to them, actually goes through the things we have planned out, and trust us that we've made it the best we can make it for the moment, they will be successful. And then also, key, key key is reach out to your teachers, to staff like you're never alone. So I always want to give that plug, especially as we're starting the new school year. You are not alone. We have support teams, spiritual support teams, you know, it teams and your teachers and everybody that is just ready to communicate with you, develop a friendship relationship and help you move forward in all your academics, and so don't forget that. So, even though things are changing, we're still in place here to help you, and I'm very confident in our team that God has here.
Stephanie Shafer:Absolutely. You know, I just came back from a visit to Mississippi, where our home base is for North Star Academy, and had such a wonderful time. We were there for our in-person graduation celebration weekend, which is, by the way, guys, you got to come to that. It's amazing, it's really a amazing experience, and so I was able to not only see you there, but many of our faculty and staff there, and so I want to just echo and appreciate what you've just said, in that our faculty and staff are so committed to our students and to our school. It's amazing to watch them, both online and in person, live out this calling that they have on their lives, and so, if you've never been to our in-person graduation, it is for graduates and their families, but it's also a weekend of reunion and celebration.
Stephanie Shafer:We have many alumni who come back. We just have a wonderful time. So I just want to echo that I see that very much in what you've just said, that our faculty and staff are so willing to step up and step forward and try new things and be innovative, and certainly when it comes to these changes, I very much believe that we have a solid plan in place moving forward and we have some great people that are stepping into some new areas to support what's going on here. So kudos to you and your leadership for making sure that all our bases are covered and not just covered, but innovating and moving forward, which is an important aspect for us as well, yeah, that's reminding me.
Allen Hester:Okay, our core values. We're going to do another episode right after this on our core values and just really camping in those. Yeah.
Stephanie Shafer:I think many people when they go through transition Absolutely I think many people when they go through transition there is a real part of that that is sadness, that is grief. How would you speak to that in terms of not only processing it, but is it wrong to feel that sadness? Is it a good thing to feel that sadness? And what do we do with that emotional aspect of transition?
Allen Hester:Yeah, that's a good question. It's definitely not wrong. God made all of our emotions and we see Him experience emotions throughout the Bible. You know being sad, being angry, you know different things because he loves His people so much and just wants to have a relationship with them, and so he's given us that desire to have relationships with people and so thinking about transitions in all different ways not just someone coming to North Star and leaving North Star, but people that you know live in one country or one place and then transition back, maybe to their home country. But it could be grief in transition and a loss. That's a transition Like.
Allen Hester:There's so many different types of transitions, so God has taught me to be present in it, and so I've had things in my life where I've grieved and has been a transition, a change.
Allen Hester:And it's my personality just to run past it, feel shame or guilt if I have to sit in it and no, no, no, I just got to trust God and move on.
Allen Hester:He's taught me no, that is not his plan for us, that we do need to acknowledge it, say it out loud, speak it to him, say here's where I am, god. This is what I'm feeling. I'm just going to sit here and let you speak to me, let you minister to me through your word. You decide the length of this grief, of this transition. You're going to do it, not me, and so there's so much freedom in that, because it takes away the shame and guilt which God's never planned for us. Shame, guilt and fear are never good advisors, and so I think that's important to say in this too, that we listen to him and his word and he gave us emotions for a reason and to work those out and to do that in relationship. So, finding people that you trust to walk you through that and yeah, for as long as that takes, he's in the process, he's doing the process and, I think, just trusting him in the process.
Stephanie Shafer:Powerful, powerful statements you've made there. I love what you're saying that our feelings are valid in the sense that they are real and they are. Our emotions are not to be ran away from, but they are to be put under the lordship of Christ. Right, that idea of allowing Jesus to not only guide us but also to be with us in our grief and to acknowledge it to him, while at the same time choosing in faith to trust that he is Lord, in spite of where we may feel in any given moment.
Allen Hester:So, listening to him, you got to listen, and when he's pulling you to do something or walk out of something, you do that. You know it's all about listening, being present with Him and then obeying.
Stephanie Shafer:Absolutely, absolutely Well. We have a lot of families here at North Star that are in transition. They may be moving from one country to another, they may be closing out a season of ministry in one place, and sometimes that is done, you know, in a way that it's planned. They have months, maybe years, to look forward and plan it. This past year I spoke with some students who very suddenly had to leave a ministry station that they were involved in, and so there wasn't a lot of time to think about it, process it. It was kind of a necessity move that happened quickly. So, regardless of whether it's a long term plan or or, you know, maybe students or families are kind of in a place of shock and trying to adjust to to something that happened very abruptly, right, what tips or what advice would you give to those families today that are listening and struggling with this idea of transition? Yeah, it's hard.
Allen Hester:The easy thing would be oh, just trust God, he's going to work it all out, which I totally believe. But that's not always the right answer to say to people. Sometimes it's not to speak at all. Sometimes it's just to sit with them. Right, sit with them and not try to come up with a reason and a plan for them, but just to sit. And so that's where it goes back to. You really just have to look where you are, look around you.
Allen Hester:God's always present, he's always working. Sometimes we need to stop and be still and look and listening. Okay, god, you may tell me why this is happening. You may not. You may reveal a lot of what's coming or you may reveal very little, um, and so I think that that's the hard part in the transition, because a lot of times we want to go why, god why? But I think he welcomes that. He wants us to have that conversation and to and to learn and to grow, and so I really think it's hard to grow in easy, easy times. It is very easy to grow in hard times because it's change, it's things we don't want to have to deal with. But as we press into him, he is doing great works, he is increasing our faith. So I would just say he is doing great works. He is increasing our faith. So I would just say, going through that, just acknowledging it, yes, this is so hard. I don't want to be going through this God, but I need you to put that trust and faith in me. I don't have it. You put it in me so that I can trust you in this process that you are doing all things good.
Allen Hester:And Romans 8, 28 says God works all things for good. So that's including whatever you're going through right now. He works all things for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose. So his children he loves and we love him because he first loved us. And so in that love you know for us he is working. We can trust him.
Allen Hester:Psalms 37, 4 says delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. It is hard to delight when you're in a hard transition. Right, rejoice in all things. He says all things. So even hard transitions, we can't do that. We have to come to him and be honest and real and vulnerable.
Allen Hester:I can't, god, I don't want to trust you. I don't want to. You know whatever this is feeling and you've got to put it in me. You put it in me because it's the right, it's the right thing and I'm going to grow as you're changing my heart in that. So I don't know if that's just one tip, but I mean, that is the heart and so I believe in God that he wants to just be the molder, the potter. We're the clay and as we say, yes, god, it's just not feel good to be molded. I don't want a tea handle on my teacup, I don't know.
Allen Hester:The first thing that came to mind. You know, when you're molding, something like that hurts that surgery. But oh, just trusting his heart, maybe when you can't see his hand. That's an old song, I'm sure, Allen, you know that. I can just tell you from experience it gets sweeter and sweeter every time, more intimate each time, to the point that you're saying bring it on. I don't know what I'm really asking for, but oh, I'm going to grow so much with you and it's going to be so intimate. Anyway, I'm talking a long time about that, but it's from real, personal, deep experience with Him.
Stephanie Shafer:Absolutely. I love that and I really appreciate that emphasis on there are some things that we can't know in the depth of relationship with the Lord unless we go through some hard times, and so that going through the difficulty is part of that refiner's fire that he wants to put into our life and purify and draw us into deeper trust and deeper relationships. So I think what I'm hearing from you is hold on, hold on and trust God, don't give up.
Allen Hester:And when you can't trust, you ask him to put the trust in you. He's the one that puts that fruit of faith in us. So it's okay if you don't feel trust right now. It's okay if your faith is tiny, tiny, tiny. Just ask him to increase your faith and he will. He knows right where you are. So I think that's the biggest thing and that's been hard for me to learn, to sit in it and be okay with where I am, because God knows.
Stephanie Shafer:Yeah, amen, absolutely Well. Thank you so much. This is a topic we probably could speak on for hours and hours and hours, because there's so many levels to it and so much, just so many different avenues or paths we could take in talking about it, but I think one of the main things that we want to take away today for our North Star community that's already part of our school group is please reach out. Please reach out to our faculty and staff if there's any way that we can support you in these times of transition. Also, be encouraged.
Stephanie Shafer:North Star is amazing and doing well and continuing to move forward with innovation and excitement for the future. Also, maybe there are people today listening who are not currently part of our school community. We want to invite you to come join us. We have an amazing community here that is really God's doing something special here, and I would love for you to be part of it and check us out. So go to our website, check us out, call us, whatever you can do to contact us. We would love to share more about this amazing opportunity that we have here at North.
Stephanie Shafer:Star Academy with your family. So, ms Shafer, any last words today as we close out.
Allen Hester:Well, I want to ask you the same question, because you have lived overseas for 10 years and then moved back to America, so that's a huge transition going and then coming back even bigger. And then also, you're doing a study right now and you're actually leading our staff through a study and we're in the transition chapter, and so I don't think that's coincidence that you're interviewing me on this now. We're talking about that. So what have you learned through all of that that you would want to share?
Stephanie Shafer:Yeah, thank you for the chance to share a little bit there. I think one of the major things that I'm taking away when I think about transition and as I study this is that God has new things. There's always new things because we move in seasons. Right, we're in this season and then God brings a new season. That was the illustration used earlier. For that new season to happen, something has to die or something has to go away so that something new can come in. We can't just constantly add new because we only have so much life right, so so much time in our life. So within that, I think one of the beautiful illustrations is that the death always precedes resurrection and God is always bringing new life. He's talking about giving abundant life and new life, and so for those who are perhaps struggling with the letting go piece of this is what I know, this is what I've loved, this was amazing in one season, but to be willing to release that and say, but God, I trust you and I trust your leading and I'm going to follow that, and say, but God, I trust you and I trust your leading and I'm going to follow you in faith into that new season. So when we release and let go. God can bring new things in.
Stephanie Shafer:The other thing that I would say is for those who are in times of transition recognize that there is often an in-between time, which is where we don't always end one thing and immediately start a new one, right? Sometimes there's this transitional transition. There's the word time in the middle. That's an in-between time, and often that time is just what you spoke about. It's a time period where we don't have all the answers, we don't know what God is doing, we don't know what's going to happen next week or next month or next year, and so in that in-between time, that is the place and the invitation to draw near to God, to really draw near to Him and to say Lord, I trust in you more than I trust in my circumstances. I trust in you more than I trust in my knowledge of what is coming.
Stephanie Shafer:I trust in you more than in my ability to work it out or figure it out, and I think it really is in those seasons of in-between that we really, really, really get to a deeper place in our faith and our trust in Him, just what you spoke about earlier, ms Shafer, that idea of in there. So if you are in an in-between space where you are closing out one season and you don't know what's coming next, but you know that God is bringing you into a new thing. I would just encourage you trust to know that he is God, he is capable, he's got it under control and he doesn't need our permission, nor our acknowledgement of what he's doing, to continue that work. Meaning what I mean by that is we don't have to know or we don't have to see it yet Sometimes it really is in that not seeing it that we wait on him until faith becomes sight. So that would be a couple of observations that I've taken away from transition Nobody likes to wait.
Stephanie Shafer:I don't like to wait, no we don't, but it is a biblical part of walking with Jesus. Thank you, guys, so much for joining us again today for this very special edition. And I say that not because of me but because of Ms Shafer, our host, now getting to play the part of guest, and I love that as well. As you get to know her a little better and have heard her spiritual encouragement Again, we'd love to talk to you. We'd love to know more about you and your family. So reach out. I do know that often Ms Shafer on this podcast will make a statement along these lines where she says if you know somebody who would be a great guest for our podcast, reach out, let us know. We'd love to hear more of those ideas and suggestions. Well, please keep listening and we'll see you next time. Thanks everybody, bye everybody.
Allen Hester:Thank you so much for listening today. If you have any questions for our guest or would like information about Northstar, please email us. At podcast at NSA dot school, we love having guests on our show and getting to hear their stories. If you have anyone in mind that you think would be a great guest to feature, please email us and let us know. And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on upcoming stories.