The NorthStar Narrative
The NorthStar Narrative
Finding Peace Through a Grateful Perspective
Embracing gratitude can transform how we navigate life's hardships. Join us as we chat with Tina Tandy on her retirement and discuss the power of thankfulness during tough times. Listen as Tina and Stephanie share heartfelt reflections that inspire us to maintain our faith and embrace a broader perspective, finding peace and joy amidst the trials. With Thanksgiving around the corner, it's the perfect moment to appreciate the community and the warmth it brings, even when life feels overwhelming.
Hi, this is Stephanie Schaefer and you're listening to the North Star Narrative, a podcast from North Star Academy. I want to thank you for joining us. I hope you're encouraged, challenged and motivated by what you learned today. Enjoy the story. Hey everybody, how's it going? Hope you're great, wherever you are in the world listening.
Speaker 1:We because I have someone else here with me today, tina Tandy, who works at Northstar we're going to record in November that's the month right now I'm recording one for November 27th that's when it'll go out, and that is Thanksgiving week for those of us that are in the US and celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. So we always like to do a little Thanksgiving episode and a Christmas episode. You know when the holidays are around us, and so it's always fun just to take a moment to reflect and hopefully, as you're listening, you can reflect as well. So I've asked Tina Tandy to help me record this one for several reasons One, so I can say how thankful I am for her, but also she can spend a few moments reflecting on North Star and what it's meant to her and then interview me with a few questions about what it's like to be thankful, maybe when you don't even want to feel any thankfulness and I think we've probably talked about that before on the podcast, because it is a really true situation for many people. And so, yeah, super, super thankful for Tina.
Speaker 1:She has worked with Northstar for a decade now and helped me and the Northstar community in so many ways.
Speaker 1:She's always been incredible to just bless our parents and new people when they're checking out Northstar and then to work with all of our staff and so many areas in our customer support, through the office, through finances.
Speaker 1:There's really not many areas that Tina's great mind and skills and love for the Lord do not touch, and so I wanted to spend a few minutes saying how thankful I am for her because she is going to be moving on at the end of this year, so she will be finishing out her decade with Northstar at the end of December of 2024.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, super, super thankful for her as a friend inside and outside of Northstar, and I know Northstar has meant so much to her and she's been able to live out the great commission through Northstar, and so she might want to share a little bit of what it looks like to move out of something you really loved and enjoyed and know that you have been such a valuable part that God has been able to work through her and praying with people and loving on people and just helping people find the right choice, the next step, for education for them and their children. And so, yeah, we could talk a lot about how thankful we are for friends in our lives and coworkers, and just those of us that are in the trenches together here for Kingdom Works.
Speaker 2:So thanks, tina. Thank you, stephanie yes, it's great to be here with you today, and thank you for all that you, stephanie, yes, it's great to be here with you today, and thank you for all that you just shared. I have truly loved my 10 years here at North Star Academy. It has been such a blessing in my life and just the opportunity to work with some amazing people that I get to call friends, and it just hasn't felt like a job, and that's what I love about it. When you truly enjoy what you're doing, it doesn't feel like work. It doesn't feel like a job. It truly has been a wonderful ministry to be a part of, and not just the amazing staff and faculty that I've gotten to spend time with, but also so many parents and students that I've gotten to know over the 10 years and have really enjoyed some of those friendships and hope to continue those.
Speaker 2:Even after my time at North Star has ended, I hope to still come back from year to year and be a part of graduation and get to see some of these families in person that I've interacted with for years now, and so I am thankful that, even though I'm not going to be working here at North Star anymore. I still am in the South Haven area and can still participate in things like that. But, yes, god is good and I have felt him calling me to just the next phase of life and, even though there's a lot of mixed emotions and I will miss so many things about Northstar Academy, I am also looking forward to what God has in store for me next and so store for me next. And so, yes, thank you for allowing me to share that. So I just have to start by asking you why did you decide to tackle the topic of being thankful in crappy situations right here at Thanksgiving, with it right around the corner?
Speaker 1:Because sometimes life is just that right. We can fill in the blank with hard, difficult, but sometimes we get to the point in life where we're literally on the floor grabbing the carpet saying I give up, I don't know what's next. And there's been lots of moments in my life now being a half of a century old that I've grabbed that carpet, and whether it's I'm not happy with something or I'm totally confused, or I just don't have a path, or you know, basically it's me just making it all about myself at all times. And so when we find ourselves unable to be thankful and grateful, in my experience it's because I'm just looking at my circumstances, all about me, forgetting to place my eyes on Jesus' eternity and all that he's called us to do. And so how many times do I make those situations that I find myself in?
Speaker 1:Because God's word says to rejoice in everything, be thankful in everything, pray about everything. And when we're doing those, even though the situation could be completely terrible in every way, um, we do have that peace that surpasses all understanding and that joy. And so for me, this is always a topic to talk about, because either I'm in a rough situation, someone, my family, a friend, north star there's always people in hard situations, right, especially if you're in ministry. If some of my family, a friend, north Star, there's always people in hard situations, right, especially if you're in ministry, if you're working with people, someone you know is going through something difficult, and so that's why this is always a topic that I want to talk about.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So all right, let's be real. What are some of those hardest situations to feel thankful in? I mean, like you said, there's a lot of hard situations, but what are some of those that are just extra heavy?
Speaker 1:How do you?
Speaker 2:handle them.
Speaker 1:How's Angela Mojo? I have to be really honest. Did you tell me to be honest or be a little honest?
Speaker 2:I said, let's be real here.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, I don't know. So different things probably come to our minds, like whether it's families, work situations, things not going the way you see them going, so I don't know. Let's say, you know, you just have a situation where it's so tough, it's like you do not see how it's going to work out Apart from God. This is not going to survive Apart from God, and I love that. But God, because we see that lots of times in scripture where it looks like it's never going to work out, A human's not going to be able to transform a situation or change someone else or whatever it's needed. But then it says but God, and he always does go in and change situations. So, whether it's been a health situation or a work situation or something that just looked impossible, um, he's always. He's always come through, usually in in ways that were unexpected.
Speaker 1:Or, you know, I've learned to pray Not my will be done, but your will be done. I actually don't want Stephanie's will to be done, because I know from lots of years of experience it's not going to be the right, it's not going to be the best, it's not probably anywhere near what God's plans are. So I know I'm not answering a specific thing, because I think it's just this bigger of. It doesn't matter what the situation is. We could all sit here and spit out a lot of situations, but it's really comes down to not my will be done but yours, Lord. And getting to that point where you are grabbing the carpet or the hardwood floor, whatever, totally prostrate before the Lord and like here I am except for you, but God, here I am except for you, but God, this isn't going to make it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what about a personal story? Have a time maybe, when you found it personally hard to be thankful. You were just wrapped up in the circumstances.
Speaker 1:You keep pushing me for a real story.
Speaker 2:I am, that's what you do when you're the host of the circumstances. You keep pushing me for a real story. I am. That's what you do when you're the host of the podcast. I know.
Speaker 1:It's so much harder when I'm on the other side, which, if you've listened to some, you know Alan Hester, our spiritual life director, and Rachel Kniep used to be our principal have gotten me on here. When I'm thinking about my family, I think about my youngest, who's now nine, and I'm when he was born. So I have two older girls. If y'all been listening, you know that they're graduated from college, one's married, and then I have a son. So Charlie and I, we've been married for what? Almost 28 years Now. We have a 25, a 23, and then a nine year old, and there was a gap between those. We actually were pregnant twice after the girls, but we lost both of those babies and so didn't think we'd ever have another kid, and sure not a little boy. But we really wanted to have a son and surprisingly, um, we found out we were having Holton, and so I was super excited. But I was scared because, you know, I was a little bit older and haven't already lost two babies but, we believed in faith and we're thankful for this happening.
Speaker 1:And and then everything was going great. But at 20 weeks, a lot of times they'll do like a full ultrasound, where they're checking out every organ, every part of the baby, and they did. And they found out that Holton had two kidneys, but one was not developed and functioning in any sort of way, and the other one was functioning a little good, a little, a little correct, but not totally, and so there was a good chance he wasn't going to make it. Um, but there was a small chance that he would make it, and so that's really hard at that moment, like, oh my, we got to 20 weeks, we're going to have a boy, because we found out early that it was a boy and then we might not have him anymore all of a sudden. And so I mean, that's always a risk all the time, but we had a specific reason why he might not live, and so I remember each night going to bed, probably throughout the day. I just remember, though, each night and I would say, okay, lord, this baby is yours, whatever you want to do with him. And so I had to find a way, be thankful even if he lived. You know 30 weeks didn't make it, whatever.
Speaker 1:It was finding a way in that moment to thank the Lord for his perfect plan. And so, um, yeah, I think my way was at nighttime, saying this is your child, this is your gift. You're have completely formed him in the womb, you know what is working, what is not and how the outcome is going to be, and just thanking him for that and saying your will be done. That was something I had to do every day, every night just continue to center back on him. And he gave the grace. So he actually gives us the grace in the moments to be thankful. I mean, we can't in ourself and I remember each, I can see it, I can see me, you know, each night and him giving that grace and that trust and that faith. He had to put it in me to just let go. So I think some, uh, you know, being able to be thankful is letting go. So I think being able to be thankful is letting go.
Speaker 1:And it's back to that point of your will be done, not mine, and he made it and he's still here and he's nine years old and, best case scenario, the bad kidney, the body dissolved it. I mean just incredible the way God has created our bodies, that it took care of itself and didn't have to have surgery. And the other kidney is functioning not 100%, but really well, and it's actually growing bigger than just a normal kidney would because it's compensating for not having the other. So again, the body. And so even in that hard time, we can be so thankful that God has given us incredible bodies that do heal themselves in so many ways. And, yeah, we see his goodness and his grace. And here's a really cool thing in that, because God is working even in the tough moments, always, and if we just look and learn to be present in the moment.
Speaker 1:And so I had always wanted to name a boy Holton, if we had one, because my dad's middle name was Holton and I just love that name. And so we did Holton. And then the girls both have a biblical name, so we did Isaiah for his middle name and then Schaefer, and so his initials were his H-I-S. That was decided before we found out about the kidney, s. That was decided before we found out about the kidney and um. So I was also able to say in that prayer he truly is yours, his um, and so that meant so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a good one, though. That's a good example. And you know, I'm sure there's some people that are listening and and still feeling like, wow, um, gratitude, can I mean? It's still hard at times and you know you were able to get through that season with your constant communication with the Lord and that's why you said you know he gave you the grace to handle that, but it's because you were in constant communication with him and turning it over to him. And you know, I think about some practical steps and I think about, um, just, you know when people talk about keeping gratitude journals and you know when, when things are hard and difficult all around you, if you stop long enough and take your focus off of the difficult circumstances, you can always find something to be grateful for.
Speaker 2:And maybe keeping a journal or a log of you know what are some of those things you're grateful for, and it doesn't even have to be huge things Sometimes. I've given the example before and talking with people about I love clean sheets on the bed, and so one thing I'm thankful for is when I can smell clean sheets on my bed. I know that there are people out there that don't have a bed, let alone clean sheets on their bed. So you know being grateful for the beautiful weather, the sunshine, the cool breeze, the coffee you get to drink in the morning, whatever it may be. But keeping a gratitude journal is one of those practical steps that I've heard of before that help a lot of people when they're down in the dumps and they're focused on all the negativity around them, being able to shift from the hard stuff to find what can we be thankful for. So why is it important? I mean, why do we need to be thankful in difficult times?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm still focused back on that story that I just shared, because no matter what story you have or your friends have or you've seen or might come, sometimes the outcome is not to have Holton, a nine-year-old little boy, you know, I mean it could have turned out really different, unlike our other two babies. So I can talk about it really from both ways, since we did lose two children before and then actually having, you know, one that survived after those two. But it could be anything. It could be losing a parent or a friend or anything.
Speaker 1:When you talk about death, major, major grieving like that, having to leave a country that you're serving in all of a sudden overnight, or being fired from a job, I mean there's so many things that are just really maybe immediate shock that you have to walk through, and so just realizing that that sometimes the outcome is not what you want, and how do you, how do you move on then? And so gratitude is so important, because without gratitude we can't move on. And so it's okay in that moment and you have to, you need to acknowledge all the feelings and emotions, everything you're walking through, and give that to God to be able to just say it all Come to him in that intimate relationship that he wants to have with you and grabbing the carpet on your knees, just bearing your soul, everything, lifting it up to him, being able to speak it, and just sitting in it, not trying to escape it, not trying to run from it, not trying to. Oh, I'm a Christian, so I don't, I can't feel this way. No, you can feel that way because that's you're in the middle of it and that's that crappy situation where you're just like God, I don't like this, I don't want to have to deal with this, I don't want to go on, you know, and and in that you're like, but God, you, you come in Jesus and you bring the grace and you bring the truth and lay out the path and help me sit in the grieving in each step, for however long you want, and not rushing that, and so finding thankfulness in the really tough, hard grieving times, I think and you have to have that Maybe that foundation is so important before those tough, hard times hit.
Speaker 1:So learning to be thankful for our sunrise, for a sunset, for the little things, coffee I never used to drink coffee, maybe as a dessert, rarely, but not on an every morning basis, until I became the director at Northstar.
Speaker 1:Um, and being the head of anything is super, super hard and I needed just a little moment of comfort. So for some reason I latched onto coffee and in that few moments of comfort of holding that hot cup of coffee, taking that time to make that cup of coffee, maybe having some little half and half or something in it Um, I don't know that was just a moment I was super thankful to have. And so I think even finding moments each day of just something little and being thankful in that can mean so much and then it can be there for you to hold on to in those really, really tough times. But basically it's just back to surrendering all and even saying I'm not thankful right now, god, I'm not thankful for this, um, but turn my heart into thankfulness and gratefulness and trusting you, um, yeah. So I think what I'm really saying is you got to be vulnerable, honest, real, which is what we talk about on a lot of these podcasts honest, real, which is what we talk about on a lot of these podcasts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and don't you love that? God gives us those emotions and he can handle them. He wants us to share them with them. We can be honest about our how we're feeling. I love that he gave us all of those emotions that we have. So how can someone be thankful without pretending everything is okay? Is it okay to be honest about our struggles?
Speaker 1:Yep, you definitely have to be fully, completely honest with God, because he knows it anyway. He already knows everything that's happened, what's going on in your heart, what's to come. He knows all kinds of things you don't know. So, being honest with him, honest with ourselves, asking him to help us be honest, and then those around you I pray that everyone listening has some really really close friends, family, that you can also be honest with at least one person and, if not, just pray for that. He is so faithful and good to give you friends and family when you need that and he will. So just pray, pray for that.
Speaker 1:And if you do have that in your life, stop, stop this podcast right now and just thank God. That's something that you can be super thankful for, for those people's faces that come to your mind that you know you can go and share everything with and cause. We need that. He made us for community, community with him, community with others in our lives, and so just really building that in is so, so important, and I know there's been times in my life where I've had a lot of community and then time when maybe not so much, and sometimes there are those maybe droughts in community for the moment so that we will fully be reliant on him and our community is him and when we have that, it's much easier for us to be really good community for others when loving people and listening and sharing with them comes out of a grateful, thankful heart that he is creating in us by that transforming power that he has through a relationship with us, absolutely.
Speaker 2:One last thing and then. I'll let you off the hook Any Bible verses that come to mind that just they personally encourage you during those difficult seasons. What do you cling to? Is there one that comes to mind?
Speaker 1:Yeah, always Proverbs 3, 5, and 6. That's probably been the verse I've shared more than anything and quoted and just relied on trusting the verse I've shared more than anything and quoted and just relied on trusting the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. So when the path seems dark, when it seems crooked, when it seems chaotic, I can ask myself am I trusting the Lord with all my heart, not just a little tiny bit, but everything? Because when we do, he's going to put those desires in our hearts, like Psalm 34 says, psalm 37, four says delight yourself in the Lord, he'll give you desires of heart. So if we're trusting in him, we are delighting in him. If we're looking to him, we're delighting in him and he's going to put the desires in our heart and that would be thankful desires along with all other things that match up with his plan, his way, his word.
Speaker 1:You don't have to have verses completely memorized, but God will bring up chunks of it and things you know just the right time. So you do need to be in the word. The word is everything. That's where the gratefulness, a big part of it's going to come from, because, as we're in that, reading about his love, about what Jesus has done, seeing the gospel, and that we have salvation, eternal life through Jesus that he would lay are in our own selves and our thinking, and and back to how I started off super consumed with ourselves and comfort and and focused on ourselves. But Jesus knew all of that and he still laid his life down for me and for you, and so being thankful for Jesus, for God's plan, for his best, um, is just the way we have to continually turn back to and you, me, everybody. It's hard, it doesn't happen all the time, it's not easy, but in that messiness of life maybe that's a better word Messiness, yeah, just clinging to him and the community he's given us.
Speaker 2:You know, a lot of times we pray and we want God to answer, but the purpose of it is to align our hearts with his, and I think that's just a good reminder. Thank you so much for sharing. It's fun to have you on the other side of these podcasts and hear your heart. So thank you so much for sharing today.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for being on here and just thank you for your incredible dedication and service to God's mission across the globe through North Star. You'll be deeply missed, but I know that you've set in motion so many incredible things for the North Star community, and so everyone will continue to live those out and just be thankful for you and all that you've given.
Speaker 2:Thank you, y'all have a great day.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for listening today. If you have any questions for our guest or like information about North Star, please email us. At podcast at NSA dot school, we love having guests on our show and getting to hear their stories. If you have anyone in mind that you think would be a great guest to feature, please email us and let us know. And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on upcoming stories.