Parent Advocacy in Education

What happens when an experienced educator steps outside the system—and sees education with fresh eyes?

In this powerful episode, we sit down with an education leader whose journey spans public schools, special education, Christian schools, homeschooling, accreditation, international education, and parent advocacy. With decades of experience and a deep heart for families, she shares why education doesn’t have to be one-size-fits-all—and why parents matter more than they realize.

From homeschooling fears and finding balance, to what American schools can learn from international education, to why motivated learners are far more important than perfect grades, this conversation is packed with wisdom, encouragement, and practical insight for parents navigating today’s educational landscape.

We also dive into:

• Why parents questioning themselves is completely normal—and not a sign of failure
• What international schools do differently (and why it matters)
• How to raise whole, equipped children, not just high achievers
• The five key areas every parent can focus on—no teaching degree required
• Why education is deeply connected to faith, calling, and legacy

If you’ve ever wondered “Am I doing enough?”, “Is there another way?”, or “What does my child really need to thrive?”—this episode will meet you right where you are.

This is a conversation for parents who want freedom, clarity, and confidence as they walk alongside their children—one step, one season, and one calling at a time.

Chapters

• 0:00 Meet Marisa Grotto
• 2:45 Leaving Design For Education
• 7:30 Special Needs Work And Leadership
• 12:35 Consulting, Advocacy, And Homeschool
• 18:20 Moving Abroad And International Schools
• 23:10 Depth Of Learning And Critical Thinking
• 27:40 Balance Over Prestige
• 31:45 Rethinking Homework And Family Time
• 36:10 Passion For Christian Education
• 42:00 Parental Rights And Policy Battles
• 48:05 Practical Advice For Busy Parents

Transcript

Meet Marisa Grotto

Stephanie Shafer 0:02

Hi, this is Stephanie Shafer, and you're listening to the NorthStar Narrative, a podcast from NorthStar Academy. I want to thank you for joining us. I hope you're encouraged, challenged, and motivated by what you learned today. Enjoy the story. Hey everybody, I'm so grateful you're here today because we have the joy of welcoming someone who brings a depth of experience and a beautiful heart for education and for families. Mariesa Grotto serves as the Associate Vice President of Accreditation with the Middle States Association. And she has spent more than 20 years helping schools grow stronger and serve students with excellence. She has led in public, private, Christian, and international settings, and her global perspective is such a gift. Mariesa is also a mother, an advocate of Christian education, and a passionate voice for international parenting. And what I love most about her is the way she speaks about education as a partnership where parents and schools work together to help children flourish. Her wisdom is practical, heartfelt, and deeply grounded in her own journey. And I cannot wait for you to meet my new friend. So thank you so much, Marissa, for joining us today.

Mariesa Grado 1:12

Thank you, Stephanie, for having me on. And thank you for that lovely introduction.

Stephanie Shafer 1:17

Yes, I'm so excited. Um, all right. So, how about you just start off by telling us a little bit about you, your family education background, and how you got to where you are today with this incredible work you're doing?

Leaving Design For Education

Mariesa Grado 1:28

Sure, I'd love to. Um, so actually, my start was not in education, and I went to school for art direction. Well, I started in graphic design, and I was um that was really all I wanted to do. That was my dream. Um, and I was doing well at Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, and my professors were sort of pushing me along into a leadership role in art direction. And as I entered into my second year, I I had a revelation of what my life was going to look like if I stayed on that path. And it it wasn't what I wanted. I just didn't feel that that wasn't enough of an impact on the world for me. Um, it it was fun and it was great, but I really wanted to do something meaningful with my life and really leave a mark that was, you know, to really leave people in a better place. And that I just hadn't considered that before, but the but the revelation was so strong and it was immediate. And I left the school, came back to New Jersey, and I kind of started working during the day and finishing my education classes at night at Montclair State University. And I soon as I day I graduated, I received um a job offer at a public school and um immediately knew that I wanted to be in more of a leadership role. Also, immediately knew public school was not for me. Um, I wouldn't have the language at the time to really understand what I would put into sort of this beginning stages and probably for me seeing the indoctrination of just having sort of teachers kind of swaying students towards political views and not in a classroom setting, not in a productive way. And I I immediately was like, this is not for me. Um, and then spent the majority of my career. I had a friend who kind of passed me a um something she cut out in the newspaper, you know, when you used to look for jobs in the newspaper, and um she passed me a position for um uh special needs position. And that's where I really developed my heart and passion for education because all of the politics were gone and the focus was on the students, and the parents really needed support, and that's where I really um deepened my skills and um everything that I love about education started there working with students with special needs. And I was there for 16 years and sort of climbed up through the ranks there. I did a lot of wonderful things and felt I did everything I wanted to do here. So that was that sort of was closing out a chapter and um I started moving into uh consulting. I'd already been involved in a Christian circle of schools who were contacting me because my my own daughter was in Christian school. Um I had sort of developed a name and a reputation. I was, you know, put my school through the accreditation process as the internal coordinator. So people knew I had that experience. So consulting seemed like the next natural step. Um started consulting and then got into some parent advocacy work because that was around the time that New Jersey was really starting to see what was in the curriculum, and there was a lot of pushback. And I was pushing back for my own son who was in kindergarten. I was pushing back on the curriculum, and um, it just became apparent that you know this isn't gonna work, and so I decided to homeschool, and that opened up a whole new world for me. Uh, I thought I've done a lot of work in education at this point, um, but homeschooling was a completely other world. And that that really that was that grew me as an educator in more ways than I ever could have imagined. Um, and I was being called and recruited for middle states. I turned them down because I was doing, you know, starting this consulting work. But when I realized how involved the homeschooling was and got involved in the co-ops and started doing some consulting work for the co-ops, um, middle states called again. And I I prayed a lot about it, and I really felt like that was where the Lord wanted me. And that was a that was a great move. Um, my daughter was in public high school, and that wasn't it was starting to become not really a great fit for my observation. And so I thought, as I was now working at Middle States, I'm gonna take them to visit an international school so they can see how what school is like in another country. I was trying to convey to her this isn't everything, and um and took them both to Pamplona, Spain, and she fell in love immediately and it immediately valued the difference in the educational program, which was really interesting to me. Um, and she asked if she can finish her last two years in Spain, and and the rest is history. Here we are. Um, so it's a you know long-winded, but but that is my full circle journey as to you know how how we got here and how I've been through every gamut of you know both sides of the fence.

Stephanie Shafer 7:05

Yeah, no, I love it. Um any questions out of all that? Touching on homeschooling for a moment, because I know we might have many homeschool parents listening to this uh podcast. So, yeah, what what's your greatest um takeaway from that time? How would you encourage maybe moms that are starting out?

Special Needs Work And Leadership

Mariesa Grado 7:28

I would say moms that are starting out, please listen. I was a seasoned, seasoned educator and seasoned administrator by the time I started homeschooling. And there were days when I felt like I don't know what I'm doing. So it's it's such a natural, it's such a natural thing to question and to think, oh my goodness, I have my child's education in my hands. I'm not doing it right. Um, and I just would love to encourage anyone starting out to let you know that is a completely normal feeling. You are doing it right. You're showing up and just being present and available. Um, I almost feel like there's almost no way you can get it wrong if you stick with it long enough.

Stephanie Shafer 8:17

Yeah, I love that. Showing up. Great, great encouragement. All right, touching on Spain for a moment. So, yeah, what's what do y'all do besides the international school? What do you do for fun there? What do you love? Sorry about that.

Mariesa Grado 8:31

The international school setting is even more different than I thought it was when I was just involved from the accreditation standpoint. Um you know, you can learn a lot of different things by visiting places, but when you live someplace, it's it's entirely different. And so um there are many different uh education sort of systems here. They're similar to the states where there's a public and a private, and then there's the international school community, and they all function in a very different manner. Um, but there is a stark difference from the United States in terms of the the depth of learning that they that they expect. There's much more um critical thinking involved. Um and because I think my daughter has been through the American system for for so long, that that's a jarring sort of a um place to be in where you're like, wait a minute, you didn't tell me this was going to be on the exam. And then, you know, I'm I'm thinking, well, they weren't supposed to. You're supposed to kind of know the information deeply. It's difficult when you don't start in that manner. And so you're kind of coming in after having experienced something entirely different. So it's um it's an adjustment. I think it's a direction that we need to move in in general in many different ways, move away from that sort of standardized, even just a standardized way of learning. I think we need to move away from. Um I I think probably the world will get smaller in terms of you know, the way that we do things domestically, um, just by the increase in uh international. I I think after COVID, everything became more accessible to everyone. Um, but I I think we're seeing a huge revolution in um education. I think we're seeing the response is a mass exodus from public schools. Uh and I think that not that I want to, you know, hate on public schools, but there needed to be a change in in many ways. So um I think it's great because I think we're a bit ahead of the curve here. I I think we're, you know, um, they're getting to see my children, they're getting to see a little bit of what should be coming down the pipe for everybody.

Stephanie Shafer 11:08

So if your daughter could go back to the US say for a month, what do you think she would take? What would she want the other students to have that they don't have right now?

Consulting, Advocacy, And Homeschool

Mariesa Grado 11:22

That's a great question. In terms of I I think balance. Balance is something that I would talk about a lot um in New Jersey when she's attending public school. You know, there's an idea that you have to get into the best school. It's about where you're going, you know, the university, getting into the best university. And that that was bothersome to me. And I used to talk about balance a lot, especially because it it was a lot of the work that I would do with parents, would be the the, you know, focus on what do you do outside the classroom to make sure you're present and available for your kids. And one of the five key, key things that you can do is instill balance. So I would talk about that a lot. But I also understand that unless you're doing something, you can you can preach about it, but and you know, you can talk about it, but until you really see it, you especially for you know a teenager, you wouldn't gain the full value. Um, I think here she has blossomed in seeing, wow, I can enjoy my life at this stage of my life, do well in school, and still be able to not that she didn't have a social life at home. She did. It was just very different. It's a very, a very, you know, it's a different sort of a lifestyle here, above and beyond, you know, besides school, um conversing with one another over a very long meal is valued here. It's a completely different way of life. You're not you're not rushing from, okay, what's the next thing I have to do? So I think you know, that balance is right within the culture, but it also extends to the school. And I think if there were, you know, were one thing of the greatest value that she could bring back, it would it would be balance.

Stephanie Shafer 13:10

Yeah, I absolutely love that. Um yeah, I know there's a lot of talk about should we be having homework? You know, the kids go to school all day long and come home because that's a big interrupter from the long meals and then conversing, right? We're just trying to throw something on the table as mom's here, get it cleaned up. Okay, we can, you know, do the homework and run to the sports and yeah, so different here.

Mariesa Grado 13:35

Homework is so different here. I'm so glad you brought that up. Um, I was sort of even taken aback by that. 10 minutes for, well, this is for my son who's nine, I'll say, because Kara's in a bit of a different position. She is actively getting ready to apply to university and and take her IB exams. So her homework per se is based on you know what she needs to do to prepare for the exams. But all the way through school, they insist 10 minutes, 10 minutes, that's it, because we do not expect you to teach at home. We want your child to, if they remember what they did in class, no more than 10 minutes because that's gonna be stressful for them. And if they didn't remember how to do it, just stop it and and send it back. We do not want parents to have to teach at home because that's gonna confuse the child. I mean, that was sort of mind-blowing to me. Also, it's assigned on a Friday and collected on a Friday because we they want to give parents the opportunity to manage their family time. What a novel idea. So I am I appreciate that a lot. Very, very respectful still of um just that family unit and being respectful of your time and understanding that your home time is your time with your family.

Stephanie Shafer 14:59

Yeah, that's great. So good, so good to hear about that different experience. Um all right. I know you have a strong passion for Christian education and parental rights. What stirred this passion in you and how is it shaping your calling? Yeah, great question.

Moving Abroad And International Schools

Mariesa Grado 15:19

Um as I mentioned before, uh I worked with children with special needs for 16 years. And at that time, my own daughter was in a Christian school. And I and I really, my heart was for the parents. I worked a lot with the parents. Um, and I used to think, I can't imagine what it would be like for these parents who I knew that many of them were Christian, and they were unable to enroll that child in a Christian school because the Christian schools did not have programs that could meet the needs of, you know, serve children with such diverse and complex special needs. And that was heartbreaking for me. It was really heartbreaking. Um, I really did a lot of work into policy. There's a lot of red tape, um, legal issues surrounding why you cannot, you know, combine a religious program with a program that receives, you know, funds from um I, you know, IDEA and all of all of that stuff. Um, but I just felt that was so wrong in my spirit. It's so wrong. Like as a believer, that is my first priority is to raise my children, knowing the word of God and and being able to, if I so desire, have them educated in an environment with like-minded individuals. I could just could not shake the feeling that that opportunity was not available to some parents. Um, so I did whatever I can through the years. I did whatever I couldn't. And I think that's how I sort of got a lot of calls from Christian schools because I think that that they sort of understood my my uh daughter's school. I was close with them and I was always offering my help and my guidance. And so I had many, many schools calling, many Christian schools that were asking, how you know, how can we serve a broader population without you know getting entangled in the whole um you know governmental sort of issues and red tape. And so I would do my best to assist them. Um and then we started to see some massive changes in the curriculum in the state of New Jersey. And I was very involved with every single memo that came from the state of New Jersey as the second in command of a 225-staff um school with children with multiple disabilities who all came, you know, many of them came with lawyers. And so you had to read everything. I really had a very high level of accountability there. And so we read everything, and I made sure that my team implemented everything. So I was aware of some of the changes that were being made when many other administrators were not, and I was deeply disturbed that there were some things that were being passed during COVID when everybody was sort of paying attention to the virus and spreading and contact tracing. And I'm saying, but wait a minute, we are now passing laws that say that we can talk to a five-year-old about transitioning. And I just was appalled by this. And so, you know, I had a couple one or two incidents where my own children um came home with, you know, information from school that was deeply alarming. Um, Ari, my son, was only in kindergarten, and I thought, oh, absolutely not. And I went to the superintendent and and started, you know, speaking in such a way to opt out of these things that I knew were these are not in line with our beliefs. I knew my rights, I knew all education law, and I know that he knew immediately he was not in a good situation to be dealing with me. And I very I tried to keep a low profile in my town because I, as an administrator, I never wanted to go into my children's schools and make them feel like I knew their job better than they did. And I was very cognizant of when I walk in these doors, I am a parent. I'm not an administrator, I'm not here to, you know, observe a teacher. But when I started pushing back on the curriculum and started speaking up, I was angry. I was angry in the same way. I was like frustrated and angry in the same way that I would have been, you know, about. Parent not being able to have their child's needs met. Um, I was now feeling like now you're now you are extending that inability to the general population in such a deceptive manner. I just couldn't stand by and allow that. And so I started to speak up and I and people started to notice and they wanted to know who who is she, what's her background. And you know, before you knew it, before I knew it, it was um, can you run for the board? And um I got involved with a um family advocacy organization and and helped them to author a uh parental rights booklet, started going all over New Jersey doing speaking engagements, um to teach parents because you don't know. And many administrators don't know what is in the state curriculum. And I it was too big of an issue, and it did impact what I felt was you know, you were infringing upon my beliefs. You you are infringing upon my beliefs as a Christian, and you are denying me the right to opt my child out because that was essentially what was the issue that led to homeschooling. And I very quickly found myself in in the offices of various senators, showing them, you know, going over the um curriculum. I never saw like senators blushing, and I'm thinking, you're blushing. They're there, they want to teach this to your five-year-old grandchild. Um, so I just I was so deeply disturbed, and I and I realized we are not going backwards in this area, and we are, you know, education is changing, and this is an area just based on the the political landscape. We're not going backwards in this area. And so the only way to really make any progress in this area is is to advocate for absolute school choice. That would to me was the only way. Um, and and I saw legal, a legal uh right to that. I I was able to really see, and I and we started seeing states, different states pick up, you know, voucher programs and things. And so I think it'll only be a matter of time before that's universal. I think there is no way possible um that people will continue to stand for that because people's rights, your rights uh will continue to be infringed upon. I mean, that that's that's the direction that we're going. And that chasm is just getting larger and larger and larger. So um that's where it started for me. I think it will my my efforts will always be uh to the end of until every parent has the opportunity to really have full choice as to how, where, when they want to educate their child. That will always be an issue for me.

Depth Of Learning And Critical Thinking

Stephanie Shafer 23:07

Wow. It's tremendous hard work that you've done. Yeah, going up a against a lot. So for a parent listening um that has some of the same struggles, I mean what can what can a parent do that doesn't have all the background, the experience you have. What do you recommend?

Mariesa Grado 23:29

I would I'm so passionate about education, and I love children, and I mean they are my greatest gift. So I would say I don't think that enough people think about you can and you should sort of rearrange your life around your children's education. And I don't mean your idea of what their education should be, because every child needs something different. And, you know, if you watch your child from when they play, when they're little, I mean, I was just always fascinated by wow, how would my son know to like take those two pieces apart? You know, he's very technical, whereas my daughter was very artistic. And I really think it's really important to focus on interest-based learning. Um, you will always have a motivated learner if you can figure out what their interests are. And that is not a guarantee if you're just pushing them into a system, and it doesn't matter what that system is. Um, you know, you may be a parent who says, Well, I have to do it this way. And this seems to be the best option for me. But I would challenge you to say, is that really the best option for your child? Because if you have an unmotivated learner, uh to me, there's nothing sadder than that. Um, you you want your child to have that zest for life and to really be able to pursue the calling on their life that God has for them. And unless they have that motivation to learn, that that's really, really sort of difficult. So I would say you can, you can sort of reconsider your situation. There's so many options at this point, I'm sure, as you know, as you're doing. Um, there's so many different options. Tune into what you what interests your child. That is always the solution for, you know, many parents have come to me with behavioral issues. Behavioral issues, many of them are addressed when you look at what are what is the child afraid of? What are what you know, they they're totally and completely afraid of sitting in that desk with that paper in front of them. And, you know, the old way of thinking is, well, no, they have to. They want to be a part of society, they have, they have to, we just have to make them. That that's just not true. That's not true. That um parents that are saying, oh, this he he um gives me pushback all the time. He's always arguing with me. And I would say, he's probably gonna be a great leader, maybe a great speaker, look into some debate courses, or you know, that he might be a lawyer, might be a politician, might be even the things that you see as problems, turn it around for a moment. As the parent, turn it around and say, How can this, how could this possibly serve them in their life? Because what they demonstrate in that way that can sometimes, when they're young, look like problems, that that oftentimes winds up to be, wow, that that's their greatest strength. That that's where their calling is.

Stephanie Shafer 26:48

Yeah. I'm so glad I asked that question. It's good. There's so much freedom in what you've learned and what you're sharing. And also just stepping back. Basically, you're asking parents to step back. Take a moment. It's not the way your parents did it with you, like everything doesn't have to be the same. You step back and learn the child.

Mariesa Grado 27:12

Yes, that's that I couldn't have said it better. Yeah, it it's not compulsory. Just even the mindset of looking at education. Yeah, I think that that's great. Like, step back and just imagine it could be entirely different. It doesn't need to be what anybody else is doing.

Balance Over Prestige

Stephanie Shafer 27:29

But practically, so I'm thinking about moms in my head of what they might be hearing. Like, yeah, but I don't have time to do this. That sounds great. I have to work, you know, you need two and a half incomes to make it now. Um, and so we're busy and we're tired, and yeah, just making it.

Mariesa Grado 27:47

Yeah, I think that that's a mindset. Um, honestly, I know that that is probably going to, you know, maybe get a lot of eye rolls and things like that. But that is also a very, very American way of thinking. Um you don't need two incomes to make it. What you need is to be available to your children. And there, there, there is just a systemic problem where we're, you know, even those of us who don't think that we think this way, there's just this thing of keeping up with the Joneses and social media does that. And um I think people sometimes just need to realize like, there really isn't joy in anything other than the relationships that you build and what you contribute to this world and and and how you're really serving the Lord. I mean, that that's where the joy is. So, you know, but there's a lot of the this pressure, and I would say really be honest with yourself and think. I mean, I'll be honest, when I left my um position that I was in for 16 years, and I was doing the consulting, and um I received an offer and I thought I I could never take that. I can never work for that amount of money. And fast forward, that that couldn't be that couldn't be further from the truth. You learn to value different things. I I never wanted to homeschool. Um, you have to be able to step into what's uncomfortable and realize your children are always going to come before anything else. I mean, you're you're that's your gift. They are your gift and the way that you pour back into them. I think education is the greatest thing that you can give them. So think about the, you know, if you're saying like we can't, we can't, we can't really are is that a real thing that you you can't. Um, I did a lot of consulting in that, in that manner. I would say talk to other homeschool parents, figure out how they did it, or people that took alternative pathways, or um, you know, for parents who truly have that desire and don't see a way, I I don't I best I can say is let me be a resource to you because the that's a hard situation to be in if you don't know that there are other ways. You don't know what you don't know. You we need to be there for one another, just support each other and lift one another up. Um, tons of resources.

Stephanie Shafer 30:23

You are a great resource and have so many. I know you teach a presentation called A Parent's Guide to Building Your Legacy. Would you share just a little bit of the heart behind it and the five key areas every parent can focus on?

Rethinking Homework And Family Time

Passion For Christian Education

Parental Rights And Policy Battles

Mariesa Grado 30:36

Yes, sure. So this is um really my heart right here because as I said before, uh I'm my heart is for parents, you know, behind closed doors and a you know, sitting in a principal's office. Parents will tell a principal things that they won't even tell their best friends, you know, things that they feel inadequate about, or they, you know, they don't know how to do the ask for things. And I think, you know, we all need to be vulnerable. And that was my heart in sharing that there you're doing a great job. You're doing a great job. There are just some simple things that you can do at home that should not be done in the classroom. Essentially, it's social emotional learning and building emotional intelligence. That can only be done in the home. And there are many reasons for that, but an effective program can really only be done by a parent. And so those are things that you'd focus on beyond the classroom. And I would say you can have an excellent student, they can get straight A's, and it is not the best indicator as to whether they're going to have future long-term success. I, in my experience, there are five things that a child needs, and a parent can do these things at home, and that was and that is, excuse me, learning to be a motivated, um, teaching motivation. How do we teach um our children to be motivated? How do we instill balance? How do we in how do we raise up equipped children? Um and there are very specific key things that you can do without having a teaching degree and without you know buying all new materials. If you want to have a motivated child, you must begin with reading. So I talk about the five um these five different skills, but they're very key things to do. Like, I'm this isn't like fluff, sort of, if you will, um, because it can sound very ambiguous, like, oh, to to raise a motivated learner. No, there's some very key things. Read every day, read every day, and what do you read? What is the child interested in reading? Uh if they're in high school and they want to read picture books, do not discourage them. You are building motivation. And if you at home, all you need to do is build in the time to maybe just read together. If your child is older, sit in the living room and open up a book yourself. Modeling sends an enormous example, sets an exor enormous example to children. Um, and if you say, Hey, I'm gonna read my book, do you want to grab something? See what they grab. You know, you just need to build in the time, encourage, support, see what they're reading. That reading, that's gonna be the first step. And I can go on and on about motivation, but each and every day has something different. If you want to raise a balanced child, you need from a very early age to get them involved in some sort of arts. And you were all of these things that I will say um each and every day, you're doing those things because those are the things that you want them to carry into adulthood. So I would say for parents with young children, leave your art supplies out someplace so that they are readily available. Otherwise, they're gonna go for the iPad, right? They're very young, they they're playing with Barbies and Legos. What happens when they're no longer interested in Barbies and Legos? If you do not have something, because play is the precursor to the creative things that you do, right? Play is very creative. And so a lot of parents sort of miss the mark when they hand over an iPad when the toys are no longer appropriate. But I would say if you are ready in your home with art supplies and you are regularly exposing them to the arts, they will have interests other than just Roblox and things like that. And you need to have that balance as an adult, because if you think about an adult who has no creative outlet in their life, you have to have some sort of an outlet. That may be for some people drinking, that may be for other people, gossiping. You need an outlet because you're constantly, you know, you're inputting, inputting, inputting. You need a place to outlet, to have that outlet. And and many adults, they don't have that outlet. What do you do at the end of the night? You sit and you scroll. So it's really, really important if you want to have a balanced child, instill the love of some sort of creative arts, could be culinary, it could be it'll change as they grow, but you keep that in mind. Social, emotional, and spiritual health and well-being is so underrated, especially a spiritual aspect of it. And you may be a Christian and your child is not going to a Christian school. How how do you know? How do they um develop their beliefs and when do they get to practice it? What how what's the carryover like? How will you ensure as they go into their adult life that you've cemented those values? Um, because we know without that, without that foundation, they're gonna they're just gonna sway in the wind, right? You need them grounded in something. You want to raise a grounded child. Um, you need to first talk about emotions. You have to talk. I mean, that the social and emotional piece and the spiritual is connected. People love to kind of disconnect them. Or if they think, you know, if we yes, it's important to read your Bibles together and and you know, if someone has a different faith, that's important, but there is a huge deficiency when a when a child does not talk about their feelings in the home. That is a skill, that is a skill that will later in life you can't put a price tag on that, being able to say, that really hurt my feelings. That you know what? I felt really embarrassed when you said that, when you did that. I just cannot tell you how many adults lack that ability. And so they only have like two emotions. It's either like anger and joy. And we have we we were have so many emotions in between, and that ability to process your own emotions speaks to your ability to emotionally regulate, how you will interact with other people, how you communicate. You know, you need to um really teach your child how to have an appropriate disagreement. These are things that they all of these things that I'm saying, um, you know, I I speak about them, but I have strategies on them and I employ them myself. And I um have helped countless other parents to employ them as well. It it if they sound overly difficult, I can assure you they're not. What it boils down to is a dinner time conversation of can even be, tell me, you know, is there anything in your day that um made you feel really especially happy? Or is there anything that, you know, in your day made you feel sad? And at first, if you're just starting that, you know, a child might be like, What? What you know, what are you depending on their age, what are you asking me about? You you want them to be thinking about emotions, learning how to process those feelings and then talk about them. Um hugely, hugely important. And then as we move into Thursday, I uh talk about how to raise an equipped child. And that is interestingly enough, um, there's a lot of behavioral principles involved and really understanding the um what is the motivation behind this behavior and giving children choices and helping them to understand you are not um ultimately it's you you are creating your own path in life. You are responsible for your actions. And so I'll teach um parents things like your child's gonna get to a certain age where you need to stop reminding them to take their hat and gloves out when it gets cold. They need to understand natural consequences, otherwise, they're just a victim of everything that comes their way. You have to put them in a position to take the reins on their own life. And there are a lot of different ways that you can do that. Um when they're young, it sort of looks like. Some behavioral things and how to respond appropriately to behavioral things. But as a child gets into their teenage years, it you start sort of talking about mapping out their life. You start talking about different career choices. And you can see the children that have had the opportunity to make those decisions and really suffer the consequences of their own decisions. Not I'm not talking about in you know dangerous ways or anything like that, but you can see the level of um I'll say readiness that a teenager has when they've been given the opportunity to sort of make mistakes on their own. Um, so I'd be raising an equipped child, and then how do we raise capable uh children? And so that would be getting them involved in some sort of physical activity because your body is is your is your strength, right? So you need that movement, you need to be aware of how your body functions, how it functions well, and what are the things that I do or don't do that don't make my body function well. And so getting children involved in meal planning, trying different foods, I mean, that that's really early different movement. You want each of these skills that I'm talking about, the entire goal is that they go into their adult life with them. And so this this one in particular, I sort of struggled with my with my daughter with because I from the time she was little, uh, we went through every single activity possible dance, gymnastics, karate, bowling. I mean, we we went through everything. And it wasn't until maybe her sophomore year in high school that she said, I think I'm gonna try track, track and field. And she loved it. And I thought, we did it. You know, like because later then when it wasn't a school function, it was like, I really feel so much better when I go for a run. I really I want to go for a run with my friends. Yes, because again, it sort of filters into those are the two days, you know, Tuesday, Friday, the the activities we talk about, though those creative outlets and that um being capable, those are the days where you, as you bring those skills into your adult life, you are able to handle stress better. You're able to, you know, you want to stay with something throughout your adult life. And if you've done all of these things, if you think about it, you'll have an adult that has some creative hobbies, has taken direction over their life, is spiritually grounded, is motivated to continue to learn, and has sort of a physical activity that they do to stay healthy, whether it's you know, a dance class or walking every day. And and those are the lessons to me that you don't need any extra education to learn how to instill these things in your children, but they are the greatest indicators of their future success. You know, they'll they'll forget the history lesson. They will, those things are important and they're important into the direction that they go in with their life and the way that you know they um kind of move into their calling. But there's all these other kind of things around the peripheral that that make up a whole human and how we can be at our best.

Stephanie Shafer 43:35

Yeah, I love it. And I'm just envisioning so much opportunity for parents. So you can learn right along with your child, experience things, whether you're reading with them, like you pointed out, there's so much practicality in it, exercising, trying new sports, new activity, the cooking, the arts. Like this isn't something we have to have a checklist. My kid did Tuesday, my kid did Wednesday, my kid did Thursday, but it's a lifestyle of learning and living it together.

Mariesa Grado 44:05

It's what you just said is so key. And that's something that you have to be willing to tell your children is that I'm I'm I'm learning you you just you have this child and you've never experienced this moment in time ever before with this child. Everything is new, and so I think you know, to be honest and open with your child about what you know what, I don't, I don't know that you'll like this, but let's figure it out together. Let's see if you like it. If you don't, no problem. I might not like it either. But that's a great attitude to have, and that that really makes a difference for a child, yeah.

Stephanie Shafer 44:41

And it's an adventure together, and you know, the grand adventure with Jesus when we're on adventure with him, the journey. Like it's gonna be fun, hard, and then you're there together in the messy and the chaos and all the things. Yeah, I love it. I took down so many um notes because even though we might say, Okay, yeah, we've done that or we've done that, but hearing from you and yeah, it's so important and getting the whole package and enjoying it, yeah. So I love it. I love talking with you, getting to know you, and just hearing your journey and it's been incredible. So much work, hard work you've done.

Mariesa Grado 45:21

And thank you. It's been it's always a joy to share, and um, the journey has been a joy, and uh it's uh it's a lifelong thing, right? Just to keep learning and growing. So you gotta enjoy it while you're on it. It is, yeah.

Stephanie Shafer 45:34

And a little bit of NorthStar, so we are switching to middle states for our accreditation. Yeah, so excited. That's how I got to know uh Mariesa, and it's exciting, yeah. The new journey with that. We're actually going through the accreditation process right now. So you've learned a little bit about NorthStar. What do you think about our model of the global um international Christian school online?

Mariesa Grado 45:58

Love it. Absolutely love it. And I'm sure you must know that just by my um what it might in my heart I feel what education should be. I feel like you offer an avenue that just doesn't exist for so many parents. Um, so I love it's like, you know, when you kind of find the missing links and you're like, yes, that's sort of what I feel like NorthStar does. I'm really excited about what you're doing. I'm really excited to um see how you continue to grow and change because I just I get that, I see that about you and your program. And um, I just love how you're meeting the needs of people who probably just didn't think they would be able to learn in the way that they can with NorthStar.

Stephanie Shafer 46:46

Yeah, I love the flexibility we get to offer. And so might be full-time, might be part-time here and there as you are, yeah, working with your child on this journey. So we just encourage you together, whoever's listening today, um, you can keep going. You've got it. And how can they get in touch with you for some more resources?

Mariesa Grado 47:04

Sure, absolutely. So you can either um DM me on my Instagram, which will give you more tips about how more intentional parenting. And that will be at teachthese children on Instagram. Um, but you can also email me direct at um misses.mgrotto at gmail.com. But I encourage you to get look at the Instagram because you'll get some it, if nothing else, it'll sort of get your your mind sort of thinking, like, oh, I didn't, you know, I didn't think that. Posts go back a while, so there's a lot of great resources there. But um I'm I'm always happy to help. So feel free to reach out.

Stephanie Shafer 47:46

Yeah. Well, thanks again for joining us today. It's been a huge pleasure and honor.

Mariesa Grado 47:51

Thank you, Stephanie.

Practical Advice For Busy Parents

Stephanie Shafer 47:52

The pleasure was all mine. Thank you so much for listening today. If you have any questions for our guest or like information about NorthStar, please email us at podcast at nsa.school. We love having guests on our show and getting to hear their stories. If you have anyone in mind that you think would be a great guest to feature, please email us and let us know. And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on upcoming stories.