The Real Dad Podcast
Each week, these four fathers cover a wide range of "Dad" related topics, from the joys of watching your child grow up to the challenges of balancing work and family life. With their unique blend of humor and authenticity, Dave, Joey, Brian, and Mark provide a refreshing perspective on what it means to be a dad in today's world.
Tune in for the laughs, stay for the heartfelt conversations about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. Whether you're a seasoned dad or a soon-to-be father, "The Real Dad Podcast" is the perfect place to connect with other dads and get the support you need.
Join us on this journey of fatherhood, and subscribe to "The Real Dad Podcast" today!
The Real Dad Podcast
Growing Pains: Letting Go When They're Ready to Fly
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That moment when your tween doesn't want you hovering nearby during basketball with friends anymore - it's a parenting milestone that catches many dads off guard. The guys dive deep into how children's growing independence challenges us emotionally even as we recognize its importance to their development.
From potty training adventures (complete with questionable aim) to first-time babysitting gigs, the dads share candid stories about their kids' journeys toward autonomy. Mark celebrates his 12-year-old son successfully completing a babysitting course and taking responsibility for his siblings, while Dave laments his toddler's determination to pee standing up despite his anatomical challenges.
The conversation turns thoughtful as they explore how today's grandparent relationships differ from their childhoods. Where once grandparents were central figures in daily life, today's connections often feel more scheduled and formalized. They wonder how they'll approach grandparenting themselves someday and hope they'll maintain close bonds with their adult children.
One particularly resonant topic emerges around intentional independence-building: how sending a 7-year-old into a restaurant alone with cash or having kids order their own food creates confidence-building opportunities. The dads acknowledge their own anxieties often hold children back from these formative experiences that develop crucial life skills.
As your kids grow, how do you balance protection with freedom? At what age did you start letting them spread their wings? Join the conversation and share your own parenting journey.
Kids Growing Independence
Speaker 1I just can't picture a world where my kids don't want me like to be there. So, like we're entering that age with my son he's 12, turning 13 this year. We've had a few weird moments where, like he wants to go out and play basketball with his friend outside, he doesn't want me there because they want to talk about the school drama and they want to talk about girls and all of those things. You don't want dad snooping in on the conversations and it feels weird.
Speaker 2You mean dad giggling.
Speaker 1It's Ben's friends asking him not to invite your dad.
Speaker 3He didn't tell your dad, did he?
Speaker 1Does your dad have to come out again?
Speaker 2We'll play at my house.
Speaker 3Daddy Dave's here Come have breakfast with the Real Dad Podcast welcome to the real dad podcast.
Speaker 2I'm dave and I think I'm needing reading glasses.
Speaker 3Oh, wow, yeah, it's about that time. That's big things. Yeah, wow, is it like a known? There's just like a feeling who the fuck are you? Oh well, I was Sorry.
Speaker 1I was very intrigued by your fun facts you should be able to tell by his voice.
Speaker 3It's kind of a big moment. Anyways, I'm Joey. I'm really bad at fun facts apparently.
Speaker 2Don't let him talk to you like that. Joey, yeah, yeah, fuck you, dave, you can. Fun fact is, you can take your fucking ass I have great vision and.
Speaker 3I don't need reading glasses any time soon.
Speaker 2Suck on that brother-in-law of the year you fucking dickhead. Come at Joey like that. I'm Mark, and now I'm really fucking angry. You know why? My fun fact was I had a fucking ingrown toenail. That was my fun fact.
Speaker 1Now I'm pissed at you for coming at Joey so hard, there hard. Nothing fun about that, no, I don't like coming in hot right off the episode.
Speaker 3I think you do, though like a little bit.
Speaker 2I ordered a regular tea and they gave me a green tea, so now I'm all hopped up on whatever the fucking grass is in my drink here ginseng anyways. Who's to my left?
Speaker 1hi, hey sorry, my name's brian, brian jensen, uh, and I. I can jiggle my eyes. I'm not going to do it right now.
Speaker 3You can't do that. One of my brothers can do that. Tim, you can do it, prove it. What? Why let's dab? That is one of those weird things that I can do sometimes, but not all of the time, can you do?
Speaker 2it on Instagram tomorrow, like when no one's watching you, just randomly.
Speaker 1Yeah, you gotta record yourself eye jiggling. I won't say anything.
Speaker 2No one, you don't say anything, you just post it. All right, I'll do it for you.
Speaker 3And it's just gonna be a close-up of mine. That's it, just a twinkle. It would be even better if he thinks he's doing something, but it's just him staring at the camera. Just five seconds of Brian. Why would I do it? Why would I do that? You hit the button and you walk it off. That's the deal that could be your recap.
Speaker 2That could be your episode recap. Just jiggle your eye and then shut it.
Speaker 3Oh, my God, what are we talking about, Shut?
Speaker 2it down. Oh my God, what are we talking about?
Speaker 3And grown toenails suck though.
Speaker 2For real.
Speaker 3I've had surgery on one. It's not fun. Oh, that's no good. You know what I was thinking.
Speaker 2When, like your grown-up issues, now my kids are starting to get them and I remember how crappy like growing pains.
Speaker 1How short are you? Oh, growing pains. I'm like how short are you cutting your nails? That your whole family is getting ingrown toenails?
Speaker 2We bite man your toenails oh yeah, chewing a toenail or two.
Speaker 1No.
Podcast Introductions and Fun Facts
Speaker 2You knew this he chews on his daughters or no it wasn't that your daughter chews on yours? I don't know, I forget this I don't forget, I will never forget.
Speaker 3Just a little bit. I've seen the videos.
Speaker 2I know what's under there, don't care, toe jam I've got great immunity to anyways. Okay, where were we going? So weird Growing pains? Oh yeah, so my daughter's getting growing pains right now and I used to get them all kinds of bad. So the sympathy is there Right, like you wouldn't believe. And ingrown toenails is another one. I just got one because I got one a little bit too short, but, fun fact, robin cuts my toenails.
Speaker 1Oh, your wife cuts your toenails.
Speaker 2Yeah, she cuts my toenails, that's adorable you don't have tickly feet.
Speaker 1I feel like it would be a hard thing to let somebody else do.
Speaker 3If you had tickly feet, for sure it would be hard. Yeah, I enjoy cutting my nails I've never.
Speaker 2My grandmother used to do it when I was like up and coming, okay, and then Robin, just they got to a point where she was like absolutely disgusted by them, okay, so she just took to it and now I'm like, hey, can you cut my toenails? She's like sure, and then I just put them up and she takes care of them for me.
Speaker 1I mean toenails are hard and awkward to cut.
Speaker 2Especially when you've got a dad body Getting your foot up and everything.
Speaker 1yeah, getting the gut out of the way, oh my god.
Speaker 3I'm trying to give up something.
Speaker 2Listen, I've packed on a few bags of Doritos Bending over over now it's hard to breathe get that you don't have to bend over. You just sit down and put your foot up where are you putting your foot up to cut your toenail right here?
Speaker 3no oh, that's a good reach. That's not in my repertoire. I don't have that one. I go up on a toilet toilet edge. That way they fall into the toilet too. Toilet edge.
Speaker 1Oh, like standing up with your foot on the toilet.
Speaker 3Yeah, pop it up there that is a drop right into the toilet right after a shower, when the nails are softer actually that's a good dad tip.
Speaker 1Yeah, when you're cutting your kids nails, toenails or fingernails, do it after a bath. Yeah, when they're softer it's easier to clip. It's true, less likely to hurt.
Speaker 2I don't cut my kids, I don't come, they don't fly to god knows where.
Speaker 1After yeah, yeah, did you. Where do they go? It's a good point, because I never really did our kids nails either. My wife. I feel like their little wee, little toes. I felt like I was gonna just like yeah, clip a toe off.
Speaker 2It's a real fear for me. There's like there's things that I won't do because I don't want to hurt them, and that's right up there it became my thing, because they would always fight maddie on it.
Speaker 1So they would just sit nicely for me and let me do it.
Speaker 2I became the clipper.
Speaker 1You're like a surgeon, though, with the tools and the craftsmanship and all that.
Speaker 3I just enjoy it. It can be cathartic. I didn't do it for a long time.
Speaker 1I'd go to Brian to get my slipper.
Speaker 2No, he's a weirdo. He lets them fester. Is that what you called it?
Speaker 1No, I don't let them do that. That one was like too deep.
Speaker 2It just happened to. It was too deep, it was so bad and he pushed it and it was like fucking shot out.
Speaker 1Sometimes I don't realize it's in there until it's too late. Yeah, and then it's infected, yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah, a couple weeks babies, like that's when I I couldn't do it. When now I'll do it, like we go back and forth megan I with that. But yeah, she did it all when they were and she got coop once.
Speaker 1She got them good did you guys have the baby gloves, where you put the gloves on them so they don't scratch themselves? No maybe in, like the first I think I remember. Yeah, but that's about it, I remember using it once, I think, with one of the kids, but they would just pull them off. But they have like baby gloves for when they're sleeping, because you don't want them to like claw at themselves and stuff.
Speaker 1They just claw the crap of themselves and then you look like a bad parent, like you beat your kid and scratch them.
Speaker 2Just scratch their face gently. I think most people understand that babies scratch themselves.
Speaker 1Maybe I mean, I don't know they should, it'll go right to beating your kid.
Speaker 2I don't think that's the assumption. There's a few other options. I mean, if you're getting cas called on you because your baby has a scratch on their head, I think you did something else than just that baby scratch. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1I'll count that so yeah, I need, uh, I think I need ring glasses yeah it was uh, it was a moment where my wife had her phone and had watched a video and was like, hey, look at this and put it in front of my face. And I did the like pullback. She's like what are you doing? I was like, well, you shoved it right in front of my face.
Speaker 2I'm shifting them into bifocals.
Speaker 1She's like no, I didn't. I put it at a regular like space away from your face and I was like, apparently it wasn't because I did like the whole squint and leave my head back like my dad and then I was like oh no, what's happening?
Speaker 2it's a big moment, because I've always been. You gotta change the font size on your cell phone. No, we're not there, you are.
Speaker 3I totally judged. I judged the shit out of people you dyed your beard.
Speaker 1Before you came here, I did not dye my beard and you're gonna have to change the font.
Speaker 3When you guys make bro-loss sweaters, it's just going to have gigantic 65-year-old it's not going to fit. Just going to say bro across the front of it, laws on the back.
Speaker 1Just get the glasses, do LASIK. Is it real that?
Speaker 3when you hear about parents that get in or get into parenting when they're older, like, oh, that's such a stupid way to say that when people have kids when they're further along in life you start like how, how physically do they do it? I don't know, because, like I was in my late 20s, early 30, issues with the kids growing up and it was difficult yeah. Or it's like we hear about people in their 40s and even 50s having kids. It's like how do you get out of bed?
Speaker 1yeah, to begin with, yeah because my siblings waited till they were older in life to have kids. So my brother is in his 40s and he's got two kids. My sister is expecting her second right she is congratulations like 42 or 43.
Speaker 3Whoa yeah, for reals yeah it's crazy, I don't understand, I don't know, and it's that parent adrenaline.
Speaker 1We were together as a family on the weekend celebrating my dad's 75th birthday. Um. So we got a rent at a cottage together as a family and all hung out there which was nice because my family.
Growing Pains and Parent Problems
Speaker 1We don't often get together for things like that I wish I had a family I liked enough to do that with right, yeah, but it was nice, we spent a weekend together, it's sad, yeah, um, we've talked about it, so it was nice getting to hang out with yeah them, but I was actively seeing that where it's like taking, like my brother, like it was nice because he had my kids to help entertain his kids yes, but yeah, like if you are, if you only have one kid, and you're that like our buddy. Our other mark um, I'm sorry, what? Yeah, we have another mark. Sorry, um, his last name is very similar to us too.
Speaker 1Super strange. I feel like I need to meet this gentleman. He's a fire captain.
Speaker 3Okay, maybe you shouldn't.
Speaker 2There can't be two handsome marks, so I have to do a sit-up or two yeah, they.
Speaker 1They were basically utilizing my kids as babysitters for this weekend and like my kids were enjoying it like all playing together and my son was like just running and like chasing them and they were chasing him and like back and forth.
Speaker 1So it was kind of nice that the adults kind of got to like sit down and do our own thing, because my youngest abby, and my brother, luke's oldest um, they really connected and they were like glued at the hip all weekend long and like they don't often spend a lot of time together, so for them to just like they were just together there was no like fighting or anything.
Speaker 1They just like I was. At one point I was like abby, I miss you like I haven't seen you at all in a very long time you've just been hanging out um, but yeah I don't know I don't know how they do it because I'm like just tired, now still, I could not imagine starting over again.
Speaker 2Back to the reading glasses, though. Okay, it's a game changer. Oh okay, like you will completely look forward to like having them on your face, just to see things.
Speaker 3It's wild.
Speaker 1Right, I fought it for a really long time but I feel like they're getting weaker in that, like I'm having to strain a little more maybe because, I've. I've never done an eye test before, even what I've never gone to an eye doctor never, felt the need. Yeah, yeah, I've always just had good vision. I could see long, I could see short, but now it's just like I'm starting to notice myself squinting costco, bro.
Speaker 2Okay, yep, you go to costco, you get the eye test. They'll tell you that you need glasses and there's no turning back. It'll change your life like I fought it for so long, and now I'm at, I've reached the point in my fatherhood era where, like if I know I'm driving and it's going to be dark outside, I need my glasses oh, I I won't do it because, like the squintingness, you just can't you realize how much of a fight you put up yep my optometrist I forget what the actual lingo is, but it has something to do with, like the elasticity in your eye.
Speaker 1It's like a rubber band that's not stretchy anymore.
Speaker 2It doesn't have the flaccid. There's a little blue pill that'll fix that.
Speaker 1It's not strong enough anymore, to shape-shift, I guess, to correct your vision. Have you ever turned down the sound in your car to see better?
Speaker 3No, you ever turned it up to cover up the smell of a fart Dave. That's. No, you ever turned it up to cover up the smell of a fart Dave.
Speaker 1That's right, have you ever been like driving and it's too noisy or something, or you need to focus more and you turn it down change the episode right after Dave said that if you're still here, please subscribe we're much better than this.
Speaker 2I promise what the hell kind of question was that? Somebody is going to relate to that no one's going to relate to that.
Speaker 1Somebody has turned down the volume to see better.
Speaker 2No, they're not, it's all in the way you phrased the question, Dave.
Speaker 3Have you ever been overstimulating?
Speaker 1your senses and had to dial one back, no someone will know that, ain't it.
Speaker 2I just. What the hell does that have to do? Anyways, welcome to the Real Dad Podcast.
Speaker 1It's actually kind of nice for us to be back in here together. We spent probably a good half hour 45 minutes catching up before we clicked record Because we've been away from each other for a while we've been away we had our little like uh real dad podcast, march break, you could call it, I guess where we kind of took a little bit of a two-week hiatus from recording.
Speaker 1We had hopes and aspirations of maybe doing solo records, but I think we all kind of needed a little space and a little break, because it was a little hectic for a bit there. Yes, and now we're kind of resetting and getting back into our real dad podcast zone what did you guys do for march break?
Speaker 3like, what was the kids, what were the?
Speaker 2kids up. It's gonna be my question what is like? What's the routine?
Speaker 1uh, so my wife did like an every other day thing, right. So one day would be like a nothing day, like just do your own thing at home. You screens, you can watch shows, hang out, play outside, do whatever, and then the next day she would do something fun with them. So she took them skating one day, she took them swimming one day, took them somewhere else one day she was the one doing the busy things with them while I was still working away.
Speaker 3Nice. Yeah, we're big on camps still. We're still heavy into the camps, with Meg working full time through, so she gets a few less kids during March break, but she'll basically just stack up certain days and then she likes to be able to kind of use the one or two days that she's able to free up to be able to kind of tackle tasks that she's been putting off or whatever. So, yeah, kids were in gymnastics camp all week.
Speaker 1How'd they do?
Speaker 3They did pretty well. They definitely got sick near the end.
Speaker 2Sent them anyways, because that's what you do had to pay for this. You're that parent. You're that parent. One of those kids got my kid sick, so now I'm going to get the other kid sick. 100%, I'm that parent.
Speaker 3Now I do draw the line. I'm not a parent. Now I do draw the line. Obviously, if they're puking, you're not sending them. If they have a fever, we're not sending them. But if they're just coughing, they're always just coughing.
Speaker 2So you're the reason my kids cough and cough. A thousand percent.
Speaker 3I'm improving your kid's immune system.
Speaker 1You're welcome, I just saw a post that you can apparently write off those camps because it's considered child care.
Speaker 2You just turned. That's considered child care, so you just turn joey on into your taxes.
Speaker 3Turned him right on a little deductible there. Completely made up for that intro insult there. Dude, completely turned it around and he's back.
Speaker 1Yeah, but did they have fun?
Speaker 3I think they had fun.
Speaker 1Yeah, did it run right through the weekend, or did they still have a weekend at home before going to school?
Speaker 3yeah, still got the weekend for sure. So they stayed home the friday, the pa day prior to march breaks. That was like their mom day. They stayed home with meg and hung out and they did fun stuff. And then, yeah, they were there monday to friday for for march break nice and then back at it.
Speaker 2It was good. My wife stepped up big time too, the kids like she had something planned every single day for the kids which was wild. That's a lot, that's a lot, it is well, it's not a lot for me, so for her, yeah that's uh.
Speaker 1Our kids hit up the zoo. I think sicknesses ruined some of her plans. And then we did like purple woods, which is uh like a maple syrup yeah maple syrup spot spot near where we live. And then what else did we do? We did that in the rain because we were like it was just like a day where we're going rain or shine, we're getting out of the house and it was totally fine. And then we saw Paddington Bear, the number two in the theater.
The Grandparent Connection
Speaker 2How was that? Did you take time off? No, no, this was on the weekend. Oh my god, that's a productive weekend yeah big things. Oh wow, yeah, it was great. Okay, good movie, yeah I highly recommend.
Speaker 1I got a couple snoozes in during the movie nice, nice the chairs are just so comfortable they are. As a dad, it's honestly hard to stay awake through a kid movie when you're that tired and that comfortable and the low-lit lighting it puts you to sleep. The movie is kind of slow-paced.
Speaker 3I've never been a movie sleeper. I can't fall asleep. But this year, every movie that we've gone to that's been a kid's movie. I've fallen asleep.
Speaker 1It doesn't matter what time it is, just catch a couple minutes here and there.
Speaker 3And once your body knows you can do it, then it's like all right, the floodgates are open, we out.
Speaker 2Wake me up when the credits come in. What do you remember doing as a kid for March break?
Speaker 3Outside. Oh yeah, Play at the creek.
Speaker 1Catch crayfish.
Speaker 2Isn't it what, like I remember Going to my grandparents house Like non-stop, oh, okay, and I don't. It's just like I just feel like Even the four of us, our wives, just seem to have stepped up.
Speaker 1To like. You know what I mean Do stuff.
Speaker 2Yeah, and like legit, kind of give the kids these experiences that I don't even like prioritize, not even a thought, like camps and movies and shit, because, like I, we never got that right, so I never even think about it on, like these times off the time, whatever those little like mini vacation things that they get. And I saw a tiktok where it said to give yourself praise because you have grown into the person that would have protected your younger self and would have been there for your younger self and your younger self would be proud of the person that you are today, right, and to like keep on that trajectory, right. And I was thinking actually about like how proud I am of the like little life that we've kind of created.
Speaker 2But, I realized that a lot of it is just the four of us and this weird fight. Like obviously my in-laws and stuff help a lot, but not as much as I remember my grandmother like I remember spending a crazy amount of time with my grandparents yeah am I wrong in saying that? Do you guys remember?
Speaker 3that.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, I did a lot, man, I didn't a lot oh like like, we would go to my grandparents house for, like the like, christmas and easter and stuff and like my grandma's cooking and all that yeah my grandpa. When I was younger we didn't have a car. My dad would ttc to work, yeah, and when I joined hockey my grandpa signed me up for it and he would come pick me up every Saturday and pick me and my dad up to go to hockey.
Speaker 3So that was like our really big like bonding experience of like how he kind of was able to step up and help in a way kind of thing, but otherwise, like we didn't go over there that often otherwise yeah, my grandparents were hella old, so we only went there with, like the whole family but because, again, the dynamics, my family being the size that it was, there was ever no need for me to go anywhere for child care because there was always a sibling that was there that was old enough that and the grandparents were probably like do not bring all of those children over here.
Speaker 3No, that's too hard pass. There's far too many of them.
Speaker 2Was there a vehicle big enough that all of you could fit in it and go at once Apparently?
Speaker 3We had the Aerostar van.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, the extended.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, that thing was massive, but your youngest brother was in like a milk crate or something at one point.
Speaker 3There's a picture of me actually in that milk crate in the front seat with no seat belt or anything around it. It's just a baby in a crate sitting on a bench seat in the front of a car.
Speaker 2Dude, it's so wild to hear like because I spent, like I said, I spent a lot of time with my grandmother and she used to like they didn't have or they couldn't afford like bassinets and stuff, so they she said that they used to put the oven door down and my uncle as a baby would just go in like a milk crate or whatever or like a pot or a pan and put them on there because it would bounce. She's like I could.
Speaker 3I could like put it and have the spring with the foot.
Speaker 2Oh my god, it would bounce and rock the baby and that's where the thing and I was like what you're like? Yeah, we just that the oven would be on or like not on, but the oven door would be open and he was just like yeah, I remember hearing those.
Speaker 2I mean gas yeah um, I remember hearing these stories and being like that's so wild. But then now talking to my seven-year-old right, who thinks I'm a dinosaur, oh yeah, and I'm like we used to have these seats called rumble seats, my like, like my station wagon, and they didn't have seat belts on them. Like what would you do, I'm like. So it's kind of like riding a school bus, it's like what I'm like, and the seats faced backwards, so you had to like flip off people that were in the back and wave to them, and it was kind of awkward sometimes because you don't know where to look and people are staring right at you.
Speaker 2It was so much fun and we didn't have to wear seatbelts that much. The 80s were wild, wild.
Speaker 3It was the wild, wild west back then.
Speaker 1We were lucky when we were young because my grandparents on the one side they were really big baseball fans and of course we all played baseball, so they would come to like every game oh, I love that so that was like a big thing growing up. She and everybody knew my grandma jensen. She would have a little bag full of uh peppermints, the pink peppermints, and she would have a tub of the uh where there's no, the, the gum that has like the little comics in them yeah, double bubble yeah she would have those every game, yeah is that why?
Speaker 1tim brought them when we played baseball my grandma especially, was just obsessed with baseball. Like she used to go to jay's games and she'd like score, keep while she was there, she'd have a little radio she'd have on that's like she could hear the call in the outfield. Yeah, and then my other grandparents we saw like every week because we all went to the same church. So, right, we're pretty close-knit, so that's a pretty special part about totally oh, I can't wait to enter my grandparent era.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's gonna be a great era that's a whole other podcast guy so the
Speaker 2reason why I brought that up is because we had, uh, my in-laws over for dinner yesterday and I've been working on like a little bit of a side project, so I've been kind of like my head hasn't really been in parenting mode and my son is like low-key, obsessed with robin's stepdad or she calls him dad, but he calls her, my son calls her stepdad, papa, okay, so papa and gg is what he calls them. So we're saying you know, gigi and Papa are going to come over and he's like, oh, when Papa gets here I'm going to pop it. And like, low key, alan, if you're listening to this, you just need a little flavor. You know what I'm saying. I find it very surprising that Mav looks forward to when Alan comes over, right, surprising that Mav looks forward to when.
Speaker 2Alan comes over.
Speaker 1Gigi is very fun.
Speaker 2Maybe if he was an ice cream he'd be vanilla. I like vanilla ice cream.
Speaker 3I order it. It's delicious it goes with everything.
Speaker 2It's a great ice cream.
Speaker 1Just needs some topping sometimes.
Speaker 3Just not very flavorful if you know what I'm saying, not a lot to it.
Speaker 2I don't know, jerry, would be more of like Nostradamus wait.
Speaker 1Napoleon what's the one that has all three? Oh, neapolitan, neapolitan.
Speaker 3French dictator, french dictator and some guy that predicted the end of times. That's a mixture of his grandparents, and she is that would actually describe her perfectly French dictator, neapolitan, however.
Speaker 2So my son goes to them on every.
Speaker 2Friday and they always go to the park. They're like they have a great relationship, thanks. And so I was downstairs working on something. They were over, and my son was like dad, can you play trucks with me? And I was like I just have to finish this and then I will right. And alan stepped up to the plate. He's like well, I'll play trucks with you. And then he got on the floor and like he's had two knee replacements so I'm like be careful, he's got old. I was like actually he's got new knees. You're good, like you're all good, and so they're playing. And then that turned into like this card game matching game thing and like robin and I were just kind of like sitting back and we're like we love the fact that they have this relationship with with their grandparents. Because I just feel like it's not, it's not, it's kind of like going away or it's like fading away kind of thing. But then I talk to people our age and they're like I can't wait to be a grandparent. I'm like but, like we.
Speaker 2You still have the opportunity now. You know what I mean, yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, one thing I find interesting because it's your wife's parents yeah and I wondered how often and I don't know if our group dynamic speaks to it as a volume but like whether or not the wife's parents are the ones that are more involved versus the dad's parents or not right?
Speaker 1no, I know like for me growing up my mom's parents weren't alive, so it was just my dad's parents. But there is that like mother daughter bond. That is different. So I know, even like my wife did a cause. We had kids first in our family and she was knows my mom very well from how long we'd have been dating before having kids and stuff. So my mom kind of got that little bit of an experience, but she wasn't like in the room for the delivery and all of that. And then same thing when my brother and he had his first kid and my mom was like there but not really there. But then when my sister had hers, then she was like there.
Speaker 1this is my daughter's baby, and it's like she's just like connects in that different way, I think, because it's your daughter, like there is that different connection.
Speaker 3I didn't know if like that dynamic follows or if that's just a family to family thing yeah, I mean, I think it's definitely as a family to family, but I do, I wouldn't be surprised if that is the norm for the reason that you're saying like, typically the mom leans on her mom and she'll have her there early. Especially in those early days when you truly figure out, you don't know what the hell you're doing in parenting.
Speaker 3I think you, the mom, ends up leaning on their mom a lot more than the dad would look to their parents. Now again, that's maybe generalizing a little too much, but that's definitely the way our dynamic worked out as well. Like meg's parents are the ones that are super involved with her family. Like there's an age thing there too?
Speaker 1yeah, for sure, but I think if yeah, it's always up to the grandparent and how much they want to be involved and then also comes down to the parents allowing involvement too, because I'm sure that dynamic and I find it interesting to see, like how it's going to play out with my kids, because with us, like joe's mom, she would come stay at the house when we had a baby and like take some of the night shifts and like that first week because that's what was done for her.
Speaker 1Like she got to spend a full week in hospital back when she had a kid and have the help from the nurses, so with all of her grandkids, like all of her daughter's kids, she would go like for a full week. She would come and like help as much as she could for that week. So I think like I can see my wife wanting to do the same thing, where it's like this tradition now that's being passed down. But when my son has kids with his future wife, like will she get that opportunity or not, or like it depends on who the wife is I guess that my son ends up marrying and having kids with or the person or whatever that is. Whatever the situation, whether or not you get to experience those things or not, yeah, I think I don't know.
Teen Independence and Setting Boundaries
Speaker 3I hope anyways that we're close enough with our kids that they want us to be there and they want us to be involved in all those things, or not? Yeah, I think I don't know. I hope, anyways, that we're close enough with our kids that they want us to be there and they want us to be involved in all those things. But yeah, you truly just never know the Real Grandpa Podcast.
Speaker 2It's going to be sick boys. We're going to be doing it in VR.
Speaker 1Just a bunch of crass old men, real Grandad Podcast.
Speaker 3It's right there.
Speaker 1I just can't picture a world where my kids don't want me like to be there right like it's hard, so like we're entering that age with my son.
Speaker 1He's 12, turning 13 this year, and like we're in that age where he doesn't necessarily want to be around. So, yeah, we've had a few weird moments where, like he wants to go out and play basketball with his friend outside and he's not like hey, dad, come play with us. Or it's not like hey, dad, come play with us. Or it's not like oh no, you can't go out. Like I'll be out in a minute and we can go together. He's old enough that he can just go play with his friend. And like he doesn't want me there because they want to talk about the school drama and they want to talk about girls and all of those things and he doesn't want like you don't want dad snooping the conversations and it feels weird.
Speaker 2You mean dad giggling while they're having their conversations Because, as cool as I think, I would be in those situations I would be the biggest dick.
Speaker 3I would ruin everything Totally. I know I would. It's.
Speaker 2Ben's friends asking him not to break your dad. He didn't tell your dad, did he? Please, does your dad have to come out again, please?
Speaker 3we'll play at my house. Daddy Dave's here.
Speaker 2I had a weird moment before we came down that my daughter had her first FaceTime FaceTime. Now I'm sound old. She took Robin's phone and FaceTimed her friend for the first time and they spoke for over an hour about nothing, not a damn thing, they might have said the same thing for 60 minutes.
Speaker 3It was painful to listen to.
Speaker 2And I was staring at Robin like when does this?
Speaker 3end.
Speaker 2And she's like she's been looking forward to this. I'm like this sucks.
Speaker 3They're not saying anything. It's nothing.
Speaker 2They're not even talking.
Speaker 3It's weird, they're just hanging out, but they're having the time of their life.
Speaker 2And it was the time of their life. When she's around her friends, she puts on this different voice and she has this little Valley Girl swagger and stuff she was. When she's around her friends, she puts on this different voice and she like like she kind of like has this little Valley girl swagger and stuff and like she was. It was cute to see her like strut up and down the hallway and like obnoxiously take care of her brother and her brother like kind of calls her out on it and he's like what are you doing?
Speaker 3Who are you? I'm on the call. And then she did that.
Speaker 2She was like what are you doing? Who are you? I'm on the call.
Speaker 3And then she did that. She was like, can't you see?
Speaker 2I'm FaceTiming right now. Be cool bro.
Speaker 3Can't you just say hi, Say hi. And then I was just like is this life?
Speaker 2Like this is what it's going to be. Like she's like this is what it is. I don't know what you want me to do.
Speaker 1I'm what you want me to do. I'm like take your fucking phone back. So like with the phone stuff, so like with my son getting older and he's asking for more responsibilities and stuff like that. So a few cool things. One first we like this weekend was the first weekend like we took off all the screen limits off of his phone. So he has one of our old phones, um, and we had had limits on the apps and the stuff that he could use on the phone so that you can set screen time limits. Oh cool, so then they can ask for more time and you can give them more time and stuff.
Speaker 1But he was messaging with somebody and messenger shut down and he got super upset. I think he might have been messaging with a girl, I don't know, but like the app got screen time and he kind of like blew up about it and we were like okay, and he's like my wife and him had a really great, like heart-to-heart conversation. He's like I just I want to be able to socialize with my friends, I want to be able to have you guys trust me that I can do this, that I can have like why do I have to have screen limits? I'm 12 years old now and we're like like, how old were we when we got to like just talk and stay up later?
Speaker 1and like bedtimes he's like my friends don't have bedtimes, my like like all the things are changing and he and I'm like shit, like yeah, how do we do this? And they had a great talk about it. So we're like, all right, you can have, like other screen limits are up, but like we want to like you to be aware of it and audited and see how you're doing with it so that it doesn't just consume you. Because my wife had the moment of like realization that with a screen limit so say they've got like two hours on whatever Netflix or something like that they're going to use the full two hours and then it's cut off, but it's never teaching them how to limit the amount that they're going to use the full two hours and then it's cut off, but it's never teaching them how to limit the amount that they're using. They're just always using the max amount that they can use, where now, if you have unlimited, you have to eventually stop or you're just going to be on it the entire time.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 1Like you have to learn how to self control, regulate that where setting a screen, screen limit. We thought we are regulating them and yes, as a kid, like you do need to regulate them, otherwise they will just have free reign. But how do you teach that regulation?
Speaker 2especially when you have no self-control yourself but it's like those little things right.
Speaker 1Where it's like now we're giving him the, the next level, like we're unlocking him, basically. Where it's like he's at that age where he's about to be a teenager and want to be out with his friends, like want to walk to the corner store with his friend and not have us, and like we talked about how, like outside, where our house is, we had, like when they, when they were younger, it's like you can go from this house to this house and that's like your zone. And then it grew a little bit, and then it grew a little bit. And then there was one summer where he's like can I ride my bike around the whole way? Like go for it, buddy. And it's like the second he disappears from sight. You're like oh my, my god, I don't know what have I done?
Speaker 1I'm running after him like fly a drone over there, but then he comes back around and he makes it and he's okay and it's just that, like you have that anxiety of your kid leaving that bubble and he's slowly leaving that bubble and but that's building confidence, right yeah, but as a parent you almost don't want to you, just want to keep them locked up forever Because it feels weird.
Speaker 1It feels, weird him wanting to do things without me and those aspects of life of growing up and wanting that little bit of separation. It comes sooner than you think. It's bizarre. But it's exhilarating for him to get those moments Not to go back to TikTok again. It's like, exhilarating for him.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, those moments, yeah, and I not to go back to Tik TOK again, but there was a really cool um Tik TOK where a mom I was just going to bring this one up Did you see it, the anxious generation.
Speaker 1She was talking about the book that she read. I don't know.
Speaker 2Sorry, no, that's okay, but um, no, that's okay, but she basically just gave her seven-year-old son cash, yeah, and sent him into Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 3Chick-fil-a to buy whatever.
Speaker 2And she's like I have no phone, there's no whatever, I can't tell thing and I can't see inside. And then she goes on this thing and then all of a sudden he comes out with the meals and he's like I got some money for you, and then. And then she's like well, how do you feel?
Speaker 2my heart's still racing, that was so much fun and it was like that hit me big time yeah, I was like dude, they like, they want, they want nothing more than that. Like and just something like. That is like, how much are like?
Speaker 1our fears, holding them back from experiencing those things and I think like confidence and agency over their own body, like totally, yeah, it's I, I, we saw. I don't know if this was just a viral video this weekend.
Speaker 3I'm the only one who didn't see it, apparently. Get on your screen.
Speaker 1I took Leo into Tim Hortons and got him to do this. Like I didn't stay in the car, but like I got him to go up and place the order himself too, and it was really fun to watch and the like the person behind the till was loving it too. She like threw in a couple extra tidbits for him.
Speaker 1He was so pumped about that yeah yeah, we've been working on it with them, like teaching them to be able to order stuff. So when you go to a restaurant, instead of telling the waitress to your order, let them do it right and like their little voices and you're like like you gotta talk with confidence, like they gotta hear you, like you're just bumbling into your menu. They don't see you. They got to see your mouth. Like learning those aspects of it.
Speaker 1Yeah, but like it is hard Cause like what age do you start trying to build those aspects of them, or when?
Speaker 2it works.
Speaker 1It seems like a good number Seven. I like that number too.
Speaker 2It's what it is, that one's.
Speaker 1Whatever you're comfortable with too, no with two no, yeah, seven locked in, not whatever you're comfortable with, it's seven, we don't draw many lines here at rdp, but this one we do. Just one piece of advice that you have to take seven years old the other big thing with my son was he had done the babysitting course.
Speaker 2I'd talked about that, that's so he had his first babysitting experience. What a waste of money. So we I'm happy for ben congratulations, but like we got the course.
Speaker 1It's free. It's put on by the city. He gets a certificate and learns how to change diapers and swaddle babies and so he uh got to babysit. So we got to go out for a date without the kids. So like we left the kids at home and we decided to do a day date. So we went out and had brunch and I had a little like day date together and then came home and they were all.
Speaker 1Still, they were all just still there and they did their thing. But he got to have that sense of like responsibility and like mom and dad are leaving me in charge and no, like he did, they did well. Like I mean, the kids just stayed on their screens the whole time we were gone.
Speaker 3Like it's not, like much happened like you guys are back already, yeah exactly.
Speaker 1That's honestly what it felt like where I was the more like anxious one being like all right, like we should, we should probably get back now yeah and like my wife was like fuck no like why, what's the point? Like they're all just they're doing their thing. So we've gone out twice now and he's babysat both times and we've been able to like do our thing and yeah, it feels weird, but we've also have the like built-in babysitter now so he's gaining that responsibility.
Speaker 1I don't know if he's ready for bedtime, because kids go crazy at bedtime, but we're working towards it.
Potty Training Adventures
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, yeah it's a big step has to be like, especially the first one that you'll do has to be a knowing that like okay, they're not going to bed, like they're not going to be. They're going to wait until they hear the car coming to the driveway. It's like upstairs, upstairs, upstairs. We've all been there.
Speaker 2I'm learning that like and this is like no offense, dave, but like kids that make their kids do this babysitting course. It's like there's the pride that comes with it. Like no disrespect to howie, I know you're listening to this, love you, buddy. But like same thing, his daughter just did the course and like that's all I hear them talk about. They're like like, yeah, she did the babysitting course. I'm like that course sounds awful.
Speaker 1It's like as a parent. That's your sign-off. It's like they did the course.
Speaker 3So that's your peace of mind, that's your peace of mind.
Speaker 1You're like they did the course, so we can leave them now.
Speaker 3They're safe. They're good. They passed the free community center course. They passed it.
Speaker 1So the funny thing that Ben said? Because I was at work at a consult or something and my wife was up at my daughter's basketball game watching at the school. So my son and my youngest were at home alone and he started hearing like a beep and it was like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, and he's like freaking out. He calls her. He's like Mom, I'm freaking out here Like it's beeping and then the CO2 thing needs a new one, like the whatever is expired or the battery, and you didn't buy a new one. She's like it's okay. He's like, yeah, the babysitter course just made me so afraid of natural gases.
Speaker 3They just go through all the potential gases. Yeah, all the potential gases CO2 and fire danger and stuff he's like uber aware of that now.
Speaker 2So it in fire danger and stuff.
Speaker 1He's like uber aware of that now.
Speaker 2What's that smell? That is adorable. Again, nothing against it. You and Howie are the only ones, and it's not so much Howie, but his wife talks about it a lot. I'm like the pride that comes with your kid completing this free course. Just like very cool. Still don't trust you with my kids, right, but feel free to watch your siblings and that's why the parent is so proud, right no, they know. They're that one step closer to going out whenever they want, exactly, and I'm happy for all of it.
Speaker 1Yeah we were joking because my sisters do like in a couple months, so that'll be potentially like his first baby, that he'll get to kind of like Practice on. Yeah, like practice swaddling him and like practice maybe changing a diaper or not. I don't know if he'll go that far or he'll get to have some of those little like baby interactions with.
Speaker 3It's funny the nervousness that kids have, because even the babysitter that we got and she's 16 or 17 and I've done it before but she put cooper's diaper on backwards the first, like four times to the point that and it. It says back right on the diapers, in case you haven't seen them before yeah, so meg started getting a sharpie and writing in big letters back right on the back of it because they do not hold p when they're backwards.
Speaker 3Yeah, fun fact for all of you out there. So yeah, it's just those little things where, like you can tell, she's probably just nervous and like not knowing what to do. Take a minute, take a breath.
Speaker 2You can do this oh, we're making huge progress on the potty training with my son oh nice like massive. I don't know if I just needed to go away for a week. Yeah, it's in dual audio we're pretty in sync sometimes.
Speaker 2That was really hard for me to get out um but he, when, when my son talks to me, he uses like what he calls a dad voice. Okay, so he goes hey dad, hey, hey dad, hey, uh, hey, come over here and check this out, and it's very cute. But it's also like is that how I sound?
Speaker 3it's kind of offensive. But he's also like is that how I sound? It's kind of offensive.
Speaker 2But he will refuse to pee sitting down now. So he's like hey dad, dad, I'm going to pee standing up, pee, standing up, just like you dad Pee standing right up. Right up, I'm like OK, bud, but make sure your legs are touching the toilet bowl, get in tight, touch it right.
Speaker 3I don't know if you've met your mom, but we are not in the mood to have urine all over the floor. My boy, yeah, you don't want to cross that bridge.
Speaker 2Yeah, so it is cute, but I am wiping up a ton of pee.
Speaker 3He is just like painting the cabinets and uh, fucking the like shower curtain, just you can hear it.
Speaker 1You can probably pees outside, like in, like on a tree or the forest yeah, that's where.
Speaker 2That's where it started.
Speaker 1Because that's where you're not aiming out there right. You're just like, if anything, you're playing with it, like, what can I get this stream to do? Can I draw my name?
Speaker 2Peeing in the snow.
Speaker 1Have you ever tried to see if you could spell your name or how many letters you could get? Out peeing in the snow that's how you practice cursive letters.
Speaker 2You could get out peeing in the snow so you practice cursive. I don't know how to describe it and I don't want to put him on like blast, but um, when he got circumcised, his pee hole is like at the bottom I think you did say this.
Speaker 2We talked about it earlier, yeah and and it's really weird, because the doctor was like he's not going to be able to direct his stream- and it's gonna think it's not his fault, but the fucking thing is like got a mind of its own it's the craziest thing I've ever seen and like sometimes, when you put like your thumb over top of a hose, okay, it'll come out like straight, but with a lot more pressure. Yeah, but then if you kind of like, cock it to one side, it fucking shoots at a 90 degree angle that's what happens with his pee hole, it's just like whoop and it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2So like I've got him, I'm like you gotta like just basically let a little bit and trying to teach a kid how to do this, and like he knows, about a bladder. Now he's like the bladder's gonna hold it in, dad, until I figure this out it's all good it's all good but yeah we have like the forest outside and he'll be like I gotta pee, but it's okay, we're just going to tree, right, dad? Yeah?
Speaker 3we're going to tree, yeah no problem.
Speaker 2But and then, and when you're outside, he doesn't care, you go wherever you want. Yeah, but when you're in these like confines of this, like 18 inch kind of restrictive area, you've got like a cabinet on one side and like paper on the other. Essentially, if you're not hitting the paper or water, you're just basically getting splashed on. It's awful, it's awful.
Speaker 1He needs to sit, he needs to sit, he needs to sit but he won't.
Speaker 2You gotta set the example. No, that was the most sure if I've ever heard it in my life.
Speaker 3Yeah, we're a hard no on coop standing to pee. I think he's only done it once or twice.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, that's not happening up in here, it's he announces he's like I gotta pee standing up I'm gonna be standing up and he like, yeah, I don't know it's, it's a thing, but I don't know what it is. But it's funny how inquisitive he is. It's like Dad, you think Papa P's standing up and I was like you can ask him, but I would assume so. You think Gigi P's standing up and I was like I don't think so, buddy, he's like that's because she's a girl, yeah.
Speaker 1I'll see P's sitting down too. It sitting down too. It's weird, eh dad.
Speaker 2It's so weird, it's just so funny the way that he puts it on. I gotta record it for you.
Speaker 3Yes, please, we gotta hear this dad voice.
Speaker 1That's something I wasn't ready for as a parent. It's like life does not smack you in the face any harder than some of this Sometimes, when you walk into the bathroom and you're like what?
Speaker 3just happened. That's so cute. Who died in here? No, not his cute, I feel like his cute. There's a lot more poopy places than most places. You have a lot of poop stories.
Speaker 1I walk in the bathroom and I see the toilet which is just destroyed oh no, I was trying to make sense of how he must have been sitting on the toilet, oh no. And like I was trying to make sense of how he must have been sitting on the toilet, because there was like a full skid mark down the side of the toilet, right from the brim, right down the outside on the no inside, but like on the side started on the side right, right there too right yeah, but there was nothing on the toilet seat and there was nothing on the top of the toilet.
Speaker 3So seat was up maybe I don't think it was, though.
Speaker 1I was trying to, it was not making sense.
Speaker 3I was like show me how you were sitting on the toilet.
Speaker 1I'm like just sit on the toilet normal, because a lot of the time he ends up putting his feet up on the toilet seat and squatting.
Speaker 3Oh okay, a lot of the time he ends up putting his feet up on the toilet seat and squatting. Oh okay, I think that's what it was.
Speaker 2I bet you that feels amazing coming out of the whole squat. It's got to feel so good coming out.
Speaker 3That's the way it's supposed to be, You're supposed to squat.
Speaker 2I bet you that just feels awesome, try it. I can't I can't even cut my fucking toenails.
Speaker 3You expect me to go crouch on top of a toilet.
Speaker 1The worst is when I walk. Sometimes I'll walk. We only have one bathroom, so there's a lot of traffic in the bathroom Walking sometimes. All he says is Don't be mad at me, oh no.
Speaker 3It's gonna be so bad. You got a Bob Saget moment. There's shit everywhere mad at me. Oh no, it's going to be so bad, you're going to Bob Saget moment.
Speaker 2There's shit everywhere.
Sponsor Break and Final Thoughts
Speaker 3Basically yeah, Just hand him a pack of wipes, Be like go do stuff before I get in there, I'll be less mad. He's like yeah, I don't want to overshare, but the guy has got to get his shit together Literally. You know who to get his shit together, literally you know who does have their shit together Nice.
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Speaker 3It was great and all available at the Co-Ortho Group of Home Hardwares Bridge North, coboconk, lakefield, lindsay and Millbrook. He rehearsed it. I just wear a sweater with all the names on it. I just wear it all the time now.
Speaker 2I have that sweater and I wear it all the time too, but I'm contractually obligated not to wear it. That's fair.
Speaker 1So I was no, I know Like your home show reference was leading into a different.
Speaker 2No, I said they. I know, I know I've done Buddy, this is my life, I know how words.
Speaker 3I'll take some heat on that anyways, the core of the group thanks so much for sponsoring the show. Wonderful people, canadian owned and operated. Wonderful hardware company for the diy or the contractor, because they did. You know they have stage deliveries to deliver things when you need them to keep your site running smoothly, wow we've been doing a lot of videos for a lot of.
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Speaker 2What were we talking about? Oh shit, Poop, poop so my son has a thing now where every time he wants to flush the toilet we have to take the lid off the back of the toilet.
Speaker 2He's fascinated by how the toilet fills up with the thing. And it's the same questions every single time. So I don't know if he just has like he learns at a different capacity or he just gently wants me to repeat it. He's like what's this arm do? And then this is clean water. And what happens if I stick my hands in here? And then what?
Speaker 3happens if I splash, you Does it every time. It's the same thing. Huzzah, yeah, and I have to pretend like I'm scared. Oh, you got me. Okay, you got me. I'm putting the lid back on the toilet. Get out of here. So when does that end? Never now. Seven, oh, okay. As long as you keep giving him the reaction, it will never end.
Speaker 1Honestly, seven is quite the turning point when it comes to kids.
Speaker 2It's the number.
Speaker 1It's like where they start to change, like I feel, like seven you're moving out of Seven 14, 21.
Speaker 2Boom, you're done.
Speaker 1Okay, you know, yeah, that's a very good point. Actually Three big ones.
Speaker 3Or three, six, nine, 12.
Speaker 1No, the threes, you got to watch out for Yep, they'll get you.
Speaker 2They probably is going to suck, no, probably going to suck. Teenagers 12 is a multiple of 3, not 13.
Speaker 1Well, if you're going by 3s If there's a 3 in there Still if you're going by 3s, you won't hit 13. There's lots of 3s though.
Speaker 2You won't hit 13.
Speaker 3Like 33, even that is divisible by 3. Yes, well done, dave. I think it's that numer that you were getting into there. Mark, it's certain numbers. Yeah, what does seven mean? Seven's got to be a good number.
Speaker 2It is a great number. See, it is a good number. It means something. It does mean something. If you're still here, please like and subscribe.
Speaker 3You should be a Patreon.
Speaker 1You're a great friend and you're probably one of our family members.
Speaker 2I love you so much and I will only ever ask of you just to like and subscribe I promise we will be better next time.
Speaker 1Just a little rusty after a couple weeks. It's been a while, you think we would have had a bunch of like two week stories, but it was just a whirlwind of a week.
Speaker 2I was just looking forward to getting out of my house and I was, like you know I I turned down sex to be here. Really happy I I that deserves a follow.
Speaker 1Well, I shouldn't have you know after this performance I feel hurt I enjoyed my time and he started hearing like a beep and it's like, and he's like, freaking out, he calls her, he's like mom, I'm freaking out here like it's beeping. And then the co2 thing needs a new one like the whatever is expired or the battery and you didn't buy a new one. She's like it's okay. He's like, yeah, the babysitter course just made me so afraid of natural gases they just go through all the natural gases.