The Real Dad Podcast
Each week, these four fathers cover a wide range of "Dad" related topics, from the joys of watching your child grow up to the challenges of balancing work and family life. With their unique blend of humor and authenticity, Dave, Joey, Brian, and Mark provide a refreshing perspective on what it means to be a dad in today's world.
Tune in for the laughs, stay for the heartfelt conversations about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. Whether you're a seasoned dad or a soon-to-be father, "The Real Dad Podcast" is the perfect place to connect with other dads and get the support you need.
Join us on this journey of fatherhood, and subscribe to "The Real Dad Podcast" today!
The Real Dad Podcast
Back to School Blues and Playground Memories
Remember the butterflies of your first day back to school? That mixture of excitement and anxiety doesn't just fade away when you become a parent—it transforms into something different yet familiar as you watch your children navigate their own school journeys.
In this deeply reflective episode, we journey through the emotional landscape of parenting during back-to-school season. We share our children's reactions to new teachers, classroom assignments, and the social dynamics that make school simultaneously thrilling and challenging. One dad's daughter went from dreading her teacher assignment to excitement when discovering her friends would join her class, while another's son is navigating the newfound responsibility of being an "SK" helping younger kindergarteners.
The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as we reminisce about our own school experiences—from favorite teachers who made lasting impressions to challenging classroom relationships that shaped us in unexpected ways. We laugh about the communication teacher who gifted a darkroom enlarger years after graduation and the improv class that sparked creativity. These memories highlight how profoundly educational experiences shape our development and emphasize why we care so deeply about our children's school experiences.
We don't shy away from the practical challenges either. The morning chaos of preparing lunches, organizing backpacks, and managing breakfast for multiple children leaves us longing for summer's more relaxed pace. We share strategies we've implemented—preparing outfits the night before, switching to water-only school beverages, and creating structured routines that work for our families.
Perhaps the most profound moments come when we explore how our children have challenged our perspectives on life's biggest questions. From an eight-year-old's existential inquiries to a young boy's surprising statements about faith, our kids push us to articulate and examine our beliefs in ways we never anticipated. These conversations reveal parenting's deeper dimension—the continuous growth and reflection it demands from us as adults.
Have you struggled with being your partner's cheerleader? Our vulnerable discussion about giving and receiving affirmation might resonate deeply. We connect these difficulties to childhood experiences and self-worth, emphasizing how intentional encouragement transforms both romantic partnerships and parent-child relationships.
Join us for this heartfelt conversation that captures the essence of modern fatherhood—a journey of growth, reflection, and connection through life's everyday moments and profound questions.
How was the first day of school for everybody?
Speaker 2:Mine was good, murphy and Cooper. So Cooper's going into SK, murphy into grade 3. There was some drama leading up to the day because they had the email to release what class they're in. She was like I don't like any of the grade 3 teachers. I'm like I don't even know how you could form an opinion yet. But and then Cooper's got the same teacher. I'm like Coop, you're the sk now. Like you gotta help these little guys. It's their first day. He's like okay, I'm like so after the day, I'm like did you were there, jks? Did you help them out? No, what'd you do? I'm like did you play with anybody new?
Speaker 3:like no, if you got some time to relax your mind, come have breakfast with the real dad podcast.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the real dad podcast and welcome back to school. My favorite class in school was surprise, surprise gym class oh, big surprise there.
Speaker 2:Also, what's your name? Oh, my name's steve. Oh, very good. Yeah, thank you. Uh, hi, I'm joey. Uh, my favorite class was in high school and it was improv class. That was a. I was a big fan. Oh, great class it does sound fun.
Speaker 3:I do regret not taking that class yeah uh, hi, my name is brian and I would say my probably my most memorable class would be communications class that I had with two of my really good buddies that I'm still good buddies with today.
Speaker 2:Oh nice.
Speaker 3:We made a lot of funny videos in that class and I loved learning how to do all the darkroom stuff with the 35 mil camera.
Speaker 1:Oh cool.
Speaker 3:My teacher, mr Skews, in high school, was a beauty and he actually gave me an enlarger like years after high school finished. For some reason he's just like I found this and I thought of you, so he just gave it to me, which was cool, but I didn't have a dark room or anything.
Speaker 2:I can't do anything with this. It was very thoughtful.
Speaker 3:He was a great teacher he used to be the guy that would, as we were leaving class. He'd always be like smoke them if you got them Nice.
Speaker 2:And he wore a tie-dye shirt every day. So he was smoking them. Yeah, oh man.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Speaking of great teachers, that reminds me we had an amazing teacher, mr Corum. This was in my like grade. It was in high school, so grade 9, 10, 11 at that school and we would go to him at the end of the day just to like say hi and hang out and he would always have like a joke of the day for us.
Speaker 1:So he would tell us jokes, but he was telling us like real jokes that are like oh okay, but a teacher maybe should be telling you yeah, and it was just that moment of like feeling that little bit older oh yeah but realizing that he was probably like a 20 something year old teacher, like, yeah, for some reason, when you're in school, all of your teachers seem like they're so much older, but so many of them are fresh out of high school and they're just like want to hang out, kind of thing so he was one of our hockey coaches too, so it was so much fun. He was such a great teacher yeah, I think he was teaching like like a history and geography as well. Nice, so like a Mr Penny, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the teacher can really make the class.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Like a communications. I never would have guessed that as an answer. Right, yeah, you had buddies in your class and you had a good teacher. It was the same for us, beauty, you love to go and see him, like he was happy to see us when we got there right and like that's grade 12 improv.
Speaker 2:So like you either have kids that are taking that as a throwaway because they just want to credit in grade 12, but I think most of them especially in our school, because we had an improv team and then we had the sears festival as well. That class anyways that I was in it had a lot of improv kids that, like we were a part of the improv team, we actually really enjoyed acting. So I that, I think, also made it a lot more fun for him where, like, he could teach us concepts we would actually like run a lot of skits and it was a ton of fun that's cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I was at that school, we didn't have improv at that time like it's designated class we had like drama, which improv was one of the aspects of it, which was fun. I remember watching the usual suspects with my dad and in that movie, like how kaiser so says, like picking the things from the room that he's talking about, and the guy clues in at the end where he's like, oh shit yeah and for me that was like a little improv hack that I had learned watching that movie.
Speaker 1:So then we were in class doing improv and I was just spewing things off and be like how are you coming up with these ideas so easily? And I'm like they're just around the room.
Speaker 2:Like you don't have to overcomplicate things, you can just pull from the elements of the room.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that was amazing.
Speaker 2:Like all right, I did it did you have any problem teachers?
Speaker 1:and by problem teachers I mean like ones that just didn't get you absolutely grade seven and eight.
Speaker 2:That was elementary school for me. I don't know if we necessarily want to like name out teachers, yeah call them out, it doesn't matter at this point.
Speaker 3:Are they still?
Speaker 2:alive. Yeah, mrs parks. Uh was our grade seven and eight teacher. We just did not get along at all. She was very much like you have to follow all of her rules. You need to. Yeah, very in line. She was judge judy, like that's what we all compared her to oh really, and she was very much like that.
Speaker 2:She was like five, four, like older lady, yeah, super, super strict. I told this recently to somebody. But like her idea of even just sorting out problem solving was just so archaic and wrong. Looking back where, like that one point, there was an issue happening with the girls in the class Cause we had a very every class in my school growing up was a split grade, so it was always seven, eight, six, five, whatever. So there's only 30 kids in the class. You have 14 or 15 in your grade, so very tight-knit groups. Everybody knew everybody.
Speaker 2:But the girls were having an issue where they were picking on certain girls. So her idea of solutionizing this was in the middle of class, in front of everybody. She had all the girls in the class stand up and then had them basically try to like talk it out and sort it out in front of everyone and air it all out was like shaming the girls that were picking on the other girl and like she was like ripping them apart in front of everyone. Though you're like looking back now I'm like how scarring was that?
Speaker 1:like right, sure, maybe it had some like all of a sudden, a spelling bee doesn't seem too scary like maybe there was some progress made and maybe they didn't make fun of her anymore after that.
Speaker 2:But I don't really remember. But I'm like, yeah, looking back on that's awful. It's not a way to teach. Yeah, I wasn't. I wasn't her biggest fan, she wasn't my biggest fan. Yep, yep.
Speaker 3:Yep, I wouldn't say I had any. I can't remember any bad teachers. Maybe we had our civics teacher, but I think that's just because it was a horrible class. Right, that's a tough one to teach. But uh, I think it was mostly like I was. I was two different people in my classes, so like if I was, if I was in a class where I felt like, uh, like I was getting it and I was smart in that class right then I would be like locked in and the teacher like teachers would.
Speaker 3:I would either take me seriously in a class or they. I would be like the class clown and just like joke around with the teacher all the time yeah, so like that was french class for me, it was just like me and mr tate, like making fun of each other the whole time and that was like just because I didn't take that class seriously.
Speaker 3:Yeah so, but it was never like, uh, me not getting along with a teacher, right? Yeah, it was always just like I. I was a viewed differently, like the teacher either took me seriously or they didn't, right? Yeah, that's usually because I was good in the class or I was just like why am I here?
Speaker 2:kind of right.
Speaker 1:We both know I'm not getting this, let's just have some fun with it, yeah I had a rough year in grade three and I don't really remember it and it's one of those ones that, like, I don't know if I need to go to therapy and unlock some trauma there or not, because I really don't remember it, but I had miss ooze.
Speaker 1:I remember not liking grade three and I remember my mom keeping me home a lot of the year. But I don't really remember any of the whys it was so bad like I, other than the fact that she was like a grouchy female teacher and I was a probably hyperactive young boy, right. So I probably wasn't very easy to deal with in the classroom and if she was being overly strict then I probably didn't mesh well with that, right. But I don't really remember anything other than my mom telling me about it being like a rough year for me. And then grade I think it was grade seven or grade eight, french.
Speaker 1:I was not getting along with my teacher. Things were not going well. Teacher didn't like me, I didn't like the teacher, and then my mom went in. I don't know if the teacher and then my mom went in. I don't know if the teacher had called my mom and set up a meeting or something, or if my mom set up the meeting, but my mom went in and talked to this teacher and then everything was like fine and we were became like great friends, right so I don't know, what mom said to this teacher Way to go, mom.
Speaker 1:I don't remember what that? Pivot moment was. I don't remember getting a speech to me being like you, step it up and be nice to this teacher, I don't know.
Speaker 1:She just went in and explained like this is my kid and I feel like he's being misunderstood and this is who he is and what he does. And then we became great friends. I remember leaving that middle school, going to high school and like coming back to say hi to her. Yeah, it was like a really interesting moment.
Speaker 1:There was a guy on instagram, another contractor, who posted a story today. Okay, that was hilarious and in this vein. So he, it was his mom's birthday. So he was saying like a little shout out to his mom on instagram by telling this story, said he was in, forget what grade, it was his mom's birthday. So he was saying like a little shout out to his mom on instagram by telling this story, said he was in, forget what grade it was, but he was having a rough time with this teacher. Things weren't going well. The teacher was very flamboyant and a gay teacher, right. The mom went in to talk to the teacher and then he went in the next day and everything was fine and this teacher was treating him so nicely and everything went along well. She was like mom, what did you say to that teacher?
Speaker 1:so he's now older asking after the fact, what did you say? And like I think you just you don't understand john. Like he, and basically like had told the teacher as if he was closeted and that's why he, oh geez was acting out, because what a move so then he's like I'm pretty sure this teacher just thought I was gay and holding it in and that I was closeting it so he like treated me so well and everything after like I was this misunderstood that's a really sneaky mom movie that right there tells you what kind of mom my mom is.
Speaker 2:She's playing the game.
Speaker 1:She's playing later cards. Well, she played the teacher on that one.
Speaker 2:I could get my kid better at this class, or oh it got me so good when I was watching it.
Speaker 1:I'm like that is a brilliant move by a mom.
Speaker 2:But it is. There was my turning point for me was in into high school with figuring out the teacher bit, Like similar to what you're saying, Brian, where it was like I needed to figure out that you need to just play to the teacher.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like you know the classes that you're going to be good at and the class that you're not, and like, if you're not, play to the teacher and just try to work there. Exactly Like make them have fun, make it the class, but at least like they can get to know you as a person and just be a chill kid to be around and I.
Speaker 3:I got good marks in those classes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it worked because when you're grading a paper and you like the kid, you're going to feel a different way about it.
Speaker 1:I've been trying to get that through to my son because he's going to high school next year, right. So there is that switch and he has very much been like standoffish with other adults and I think like we didn't necessarily do a good job of like I don't know, getting him more comfortable with talking with an adult. As a person, I feel like teachers at school can often be like held at this, like higher level, which I guess can be a good thing from a respect standpoint and treating them well from a respect standpoint and treating them well. But other kids that treat the teachers more as peers and create that friendship. The teachers do have preferences and have favorites. Like a teacher's definitely picking a favor, right for sure. So if that means getting on a team or not getting on a team, they're gonna pick the kids that they like and that they would want to be there with right that's 100% the case, because you even talk to anybody who is a teacher, and especially I find this, there's definitely a correlation.
Speaker 2:They were like talking about anybody who has a partner that's a teacher, when they have kids and trying to figure out the name for the kids, right? They have a whole lot of nopes, right? Yes, nope Can't be that kid, so it's like you want to be. There's a. They'll have a book of kids that they do not like. There'll be a bunch of kids that they're just okay with, and then they'll have a group of kids that they enjoy teaching, and then they enjoy the when they see them into class.
Speaker 3:The only place. It did backfire for me, though, cause I was used to that type of thing Right when I got to university.
Speaker 2:Same.
Speaker 3:It backfired because it like you can be a good friend with the teacher, but your exam is 60 of your grade and if you don't get the exam right dialed in then you're not gonna get a good grade.
Speaker 1:So you're one out of like a hundred, then at that, or one out of 200 like the class sizes are way bigger so it's way harder to create a connection with the professor and everything. Yeah, I had the exact same thing, where it's like I went to university and was like a fish out of water, like what do you?
Speaker 2:what do you mean?
Speaker 3:my whole thing, was like making friendships here what are we doing here? I'm on my own, yeah so I didn't really have the grinded out mentality that you need for well. I needed for university.
Speaker 1:Some people are still like crazy smart in university and don't need that I wasn't that Brent Walker is going to be pissed to hear us talk about teachers and school.
Speaker 3:So many generalizations, mark's not here and he didn't come.
Speaker 1:I am Brent. I apologize.
Speaker 1:This was a spur of the moment, recording. We went out golfing together. We weren't available on our regular days and we were like, hey, you guys want to record and we're checked with the wives. And we're here now and we're recording. Um also, yeah, mark isn't here. He is still doing fancy pants stuff. Yeah, we're really proud of mark because his tv show is going to be airing on, uh, the home network. Yeah, and it premieres this week. So if you're listening to this this week or next week, premieres on when you're listening to this the 5th, september 5th, no to september 4th.
Speaker 1:Tomorrow it premieres 25, yeah, um, so I believe tonight he is actually at a little party with everybody oh, fantastic. So we're super proud of you, mark, and we miss you and we hope you can get back here to us because we need to know some more mark stories we all want to of you, mark, and we miss you and we hope you can get back here to us because we need to know some more mark stories we all want to hear you ramble.
Speaker 1:Yes, um, but all of our kids have started school. Let's stick with the school train. How was the first day of school for everybody?
Speaker 2:it was good, mine was good. Murphy and cooper. So cooper is going into sk, murphy into grade three. There was some drama leading up to the day because they had the email to release what class they're in.
Speaker 2:Yep, she didn't necessarily want the teacher that she got when she saw the name, yeah but also leading up to it she was like I don't like any of the grade three teachers, like I don't even know how you could form an opinion yet, but uh, she wasn't jazzed about that. But then she slowly gets to see who gets to be in her class and Abby Dave's daughter, they are reunited in the same class again this year.
Speaker 2:And then her other friend, another Abby, was in there, their friend Blake, so she had a lot of friends that ended up being in the class. So that immediately turned her around. As soon as she knew that she kind of had her crew, then it was very easy, because the last two years her and Abby dave's daughter had been split up, so then it was kind of a unknowing of who was going to be in her class as she went into it. Um, but she did great in both those years. So and then, yeah, this year, with lots of friends, she was pumped and then cooper's got the same teacher. It's the king of the kindergarten king of the kindergarten.
Speaker 2:He's the big kid to begin with, so now he's a bunch of jks. He's just towering over them, um, but he's cute. Like he's such a quiet to himself kid. We're like even talking to him because like going into it. I'm like coop, like you're the sk now, like you gotta help these little guys. It's their first day. He's like okay, I'm like so after the day, I'm like did you where their jks? Did you help them out? No, what'd you do? I'm like did you play with anybody new? He's like nah, just me and eleanor. All right, man, I think he just sticks to himself.
Speaker 1:He's a chill kid yeah, he just does his thing, yeah same classroom, same teacher.
Speaker 3:So he was uh, yeah, once he got there, he was fine right, that's a sweet thing about like jk to sk for the most part, unless you're moving schools or the teacher's gone, you're, you have the same teacher and if you have kids like close in age, which we have like, you get, yeah, those teachers for a very long time, which is really cool.
Speaker 3:Um. So yeah, our youngest riley, her transition was great, uh, and I was telling you guys it's funny. After the day I was like, so how was your first day? And she's just like, ah, it's really hard looking after all the little kids so much work.
Speaker 1:She's like keeping tabs on them and she'd be a little mama in that class.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she loves it.
Speaker 1:It is hard because like as an sk, like I remember like the kindergartens, like especially my son was a four-year-old when he started. Yeah, um, because of a later birthday. So, like they're, some of the jks are really young, small, so small, and there's a lot of tears that first week yeah where, even if the first day goes smooth, then the kid realizes that this is an everyday thing and not just a one-time thing. And yeah, there's a lot of tears.
Speaker 3:Yeah it's so cute, though, when you walk up and you can see, you know exactly which parents are there for the very first time like they're all like huddled so close around the gate. It's gonna be okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're gonna be fine, you're gonna make it I said that to make this year as we walked away, because I'm like, oh, it's weird. We're like we're definitely getting to that point where we're older than a lot of the parents that we're walking like away from. Like man, I'm just so used to being the youngest one of the group right where it's like so odd now to be like, yeah, we got a grade three and an sk and like some of these people are in their 20s and dropping off their little baby for the first time. It's like, oh, it's wild, can only be back there, do?
Speaker 1:you like. So that's a moment where you felt old not necessarily old, but you feel that like a little bit older than you are.
Speaker 1:I still don't feel it, though I know, but when you see it because, like we have some kids with that are friends with our youngest and that's their oldest. So then they are younger and it's just like I'm same thing. I'm just used to being the youngest because our oldest is often the same age as other people's youngest, so all the parents at that time were all much older. But now that we're in that I don't know, it feels like we're in that older bracket now yeah, moving on up your oldest is in grade eight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so this is a school his first, his last, first day of elementary school wild it's very weird. Yeah, and same school from jk all the way up. It feels so weird how quick it's gone and I know people say like it goes so quickly, but like to think that he is in his last year and we're going to be graduating this year is bizarre to me. And then I was talking to your brother, bry, who just had his oldest graduate high school and she's off to university.
Speaker 3:That was emotional for the whole family.
Speaker 1:We're all crying about that, but I was talking to him because I'm like, I feel like the high school years are going to be a blink. Because, when you have like eight, nine, ten years of elementary school and then all of a sudden four years of high school, just disappear, and in that time your kid is separating from you and gaining independence.
Speaker 1:so like four big years yeah so he was saying that like it's lonely and different and you're like adjusting to not being needed where, like you, you feel needed when your kids are younger. Um, even now, like as he's been transitioning throughout the older grades, like he walks to school, he walks home, like he is doing a lot of independent things, which is weird to not be needed in that way. Yeah, um, but yeah, drop off was very similar. It was very easy. Like we still did the morning pictures with the kids and you get that like what do you want to be picture and all of those and then walking them up to school and yeah, it's. It was bizarre feeling like a veteran.
Speaker 1:I think that's what it feels like right where I can remember and I think this is like a way back playback podcast episode me giving the advice of wear sunglasses when you're dropping your kid off on the first day, because I can remember the tears, like I can remember that feeling of not being there to see everything that happens and I wasn't always, ever, because I was always working.
Speaker 1:But you know that he's with your wife, or you know that he's with a family member where now it's like you're into the world, you're going to be judged by all these people, all these teachers, whether, like we said earlier, like whether or not they're going to be judged by all these people, all these teachers, whether, like we said earlier, like whether or not they're going to get you and understand who you, who your kid is, you know them, they're your kids, so, like their little mannerisms are, when they get hurt, you know what to do to help them. It's like is somebody else going to help them?
Speaker 3:Are they going to be okay? That is the weirdest part by far. Oh, it's bizarre.
Speaker 1:Sending them out into the world, especially at that young age, right, yeah, yeah, we're now like drop off. The kids just disappeared and my wife and I are standing by the fence and we're like so do we wait, because there was one year that we didn't wait.
Speaker 1:So we left before the bell and then our daughter, aria, got a little nervous and came running to try and find us and then couldn't find us. So then, uh, it was like a moment. So then we're like do we go? Do we stay? Do we go, do we stay? They're fine, now let's get out of here, they're fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's a lot to turn. Do you remember any of your first days? I feel like I only remember the later ones. Like I remember grade seven, eight, I remember high school, but those were kind of like whatever you just go in. Like I remember grade nine being nervous but I somebody asked cause or did we talk about this last time? Now I don't remember of like what you a big thing on your first day.
Speaker 1:Like if we talked about it last time, what stuff you'd wanted like a new backpack and stuff that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can remember grade eight, seven and eight and just being excited to see your friends and like walking
Speaker 1:to the back and that kind of nervous energy. But I don't remember the young, young grades, I don't remember. I don't remember. I can remember high school. I very much remember that feeling of walking to the front doors right, um, and like there were like these rails kind of on the sides that people would sit on and like I remember that feel of like seeing people again and catching up was cool. My son was super stoked because a lot of his friends were like screen rot kids throughout the summer just playing video games and not wanting to get outside.
Speaker 1:So he's like they're forced to be off their screens and I get to go play with them so like he was pumped about it, and then of course comes home and goes on and plays video games with them um. I thought it was funny just how exhausted my kids were okay, that's the best, though, yeah because, like all summer, this summer for us has been, uh, very unstructured.
Speaker 1:Yep, in the past it's been a lot more structured, with my wife having like the summer to-do list and all of these different things. This year has been way less structured. Um, I think, with the chaos going on my wife's family life and everything she just needed to not have to think about or focus on anything. So, like waking up the kids have been like their schedules have been all off. They've been just easier days for them. So then to have a school packed day, yeah, they were wiped.
Speaker 1:So like bedtime and everything was so much easier. The night before they were so excited they didn't want to go to bed so they stayed up a little late. Then they were so excited to go, so they woke up so early and then a full day of school like they were destroyed. My son, we, uh, were having dinner and then I was getting him to read something for his rep basketball and he just snapped and we were like dude, what's going on? I can't read this with every all this noise in here. What's going on?
Speaker 1:everybody needs to stop, we're like dude. You can leave the room like you can go read that somewhere else I'm like I think you're just a little, I'm fine just snapped my wife and I look at each other like what the fuck is going on here, and it was just he was just wiped, he was just exhausted from the day. I'm like come on over, like let's take a moment, yeah relax a little and you need to reset here.
Speaker 3:Have you done anything to like change up your game plans for the for a school day this year, like for us? So far, what we've done is we're planning like doing as much the night before as we can so like the kids have taken to like loving putting out their outfits for the next day oh cute my daughter is adorable with it. She like, like, sets it all out perfectly, and she always right now she's obsessed with skirts, so she always has like a tool skirt to go with every outfit also when she wears it to bed too.
Speaker 3:She has a different one for her pajamas. But yeah, it was really cute because our youngest crew was doing the same thing. It was. Yeah, that's like part of it's just trying to set yourself up better for the morning so you don't have to remind them to do as many things. It's more important for our oldest child. The other two are fine to begin with, but it's trying to drag him into the the mix as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's uh, try and knock off the to-do list a little bit right now rather than wait for the morning, because his head is all over the place in the morning just like yeah, dial in, yeah um, I don't.
Speaker 1:We haven't tried anything new, but I'll tell you that the morning of getting ready was chaos, yeah, and I did not miss it. I was like I could do without this in my life again as well as lunches and multiple different lunches, and kids trying to be independent and get things for their own lunch as well as their breakfast, and it was just one of those. Like everybody needs to get the fuck out of the kitchen and we need, like a one person at a time rule.
Speaker 1:I was listening to my wife, I'm like do we need to have time zones for who's allowed in the kitchen? At certain times you gotta check in, punch in, punch out, like, or or we need to clear off a table over there. That's the lunch section. This is the breakfast section because it was just too many cooks in the kitchen. I was exhausted, I hadn't had my coffee yet and I'm just like Summer was beautiful, you could just sleep and then the kids would just do their own thing.
Speaker 2:Now, when you're rushing out to do all the things, it was just too much. It was too much we yeah, I feel like we don't get away from our schedule because the way that our summer is set up right. So because meg works through and we do a lot of camps and stuff, like we've just had our same schedule, so it is just the same kind of routine and we're pretty locked in on it. So it works out pretty well and it's nothing new for the kids too, right? So like we were still getting them out the door at around 8 30 when they were going to camp.
Speaker 3:So I think that's my wife's goal for next summer right to make it more structured, right, right, like we the last week of summer we had, uh, two the two older kids in swim lessons like every day for the week, so it was like swim camp basically, and she said that that helped big time. Yeah, right, just having them up by a certain time every morning and getting them out the door right away was like so good for her mental health too, just like the structure of the day. So she's gonna, we're gonna try and do that next summer, like have them in a few more things that require that, that structure, yeah, yeah, I think it could be good like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has. There's always going to be an upside and downside. Yeah, right, like the, there was no real break in the summertime, like we had our moments, which were good, especially when grandma and pop took them camping for a week. That was massive for just not having kids home for them. Yeah, for the school days anyways, because they went monday to friday, so that was fantastic. But, yeah, they can still feel very draining and like you're in the same kind of rigmarole as the school year. Yeah, but I see the benefits of that is like, as we get into the school year, it's just same old, same old like it's just another week for us.
Speaker 2:So we just maintain our same schedule and setup, where I go down with the kids first and get them breakfast and by the time meg comes down, they're eating in a way, and she makes their lunch and we're off and ready for school.
Speaker 1:One change that we did make that I just remembered was that they're not taking juice to school anymore. Okay, only water. So this came from the dentist, telling us that the kids were drinking too much juice and that's rotting their teeth dial it back. And two that makes me very happy because there is nothing worse than like forgetting about a container that had like apple juice in it and so sticky. You didn't clean it on friday and you go on monday and it's like the.
Speaker 1:There's like pressure in the empty cup and you pop it and you're like, and no matter how much you scrub it, you feel like it's never going to be clean again yeah, and I, I hate, I despise cleaning straws oh, it's the worst thing to clean and it's a fan. We are a family full of straws. I am a non-straw user.
Speaker 1:I will never, choose to use a straw unless it's in like a fast food right cup or whatever right. Yeah, I'm not a straw guy, but the kids and my wife are all big straw people and I'm like I just I despise cleaning straws, especially the little ones that are in their little juice containers. And then they've got the stoppers and then the stopper has its own little crevices so many and you can see like mold growing like how are?
Speaker 2:you cleaning this, the crevasses I hate it, so we were on water only at school and the kids have adopted it well, and nobody's.
Speaker 2:It's only two days in and nobody's fought back against it so if we can stick on the water trend, I'll be happy yeah, the sooner you get rid of the cups with the crevices and the multiple pieces I actually don't mind straws as much anymore also very much a straw family but they just. We have the plastic cups, lid, and then you put the straw in, but it's like a regular we have like those stainless steel straws and my way to get around it, because I also hate it, but I've found it easier to do it all at once.
Speaker 2:So first, I take everything apart before we start, because I don't like taking lids off of things when I'm mid-wash, so pull everything apart before we start washing and then I just stack I do like a cup full of soap and water and I straws still a pain in the ass. Still pain in the ass because I hated doing it during because you like, you smash out some plates and some cups. Then you come to a straw like fuck, I gotta get that thing and I gotta screen them because you can't put them in the dishwasher no, that's pointless.
Speaker 1:I think last week we talked about um, like doing chores and stuff around the house, yeah, um. So that's one thing where I have done like a full load of dishes in the sink, like all the dishes, and I will leave the straws.
Speaker 3:So, like how I said, I've definitely done that too. Savage voice, I said that we don't do fuck yous but those straws were like oh, I ain't touching those straws. My wife and I will do it, basically until somebody needs a straw and we're forced to clean it.
Speaker 2:So then she knows if I do clean the straws right, it's like a. That means something. It means something. Yeah, it means a little extra if I'm willing to wash the damn stupid straws. I hate them did you clean the straws. I didn't know it was real. I'm not a fan.
Speaker 3:Our kids take our water bottles into their beds, so we can't have that type of right? Yeah, because it'd just be a disaster. Yep, yeah, we just have.
Speaker 2:Murph doesn't bring water to bed anymore. And then cooper, we try to limit because he, that kid, pisses the bed. So god, it'll be like once a week and he comes in the room in the mornings. I'm wet, unbothered by it.
Speaker 1:Oh, he doesn't care, it's just all over his bed so one last uh, summer fun thing that we did, okay, um, over the long weekend, was a camp day. I posted about it on our instagram, if you saw it there, but this all came about from one day. The kids were fighting over which park they wanted to go to.
Speaker 3:I want to go to the red slide park. I want to go to the green.
Speaker 1:I want to go to this one. I was like let's just go to both parks. So we did that and it was fun. We went to the one park that one kid wanted to go to. They were happy and played for a bit. I'm like, all right, now we're going to go to the other park. We went there experience. I was like, huh, I wonder how many parks we could do in one day. I'm like if we did like 20 minutes at every park, we could probably hit a lot of parks right and the kids were like, yeah, that would be awesome this was like a cool little like challenge, like a youtube video for them or something.
Speaker 1:so they had been bugging us all summer like when's park day gonna be, when's park day gonna be, and it had been hard for us to figure out a day to schedule it, because there was always something happening on a day that was going to break it up and we needed a designated day.
Speaker 1:We were planning on going like nine in the morning to nine at night and just hitting park park, park, park park Sounds exhausting, it is exhausting, I did not think it would be as exhausting as it was. For some reason in my head it's just going to a park, it's going to be fun.
Speaker 1:So we started out the day. We hit a bunch of parks that were close to us and they were smaller parks and there was no, uh, other kids there. So part of our rules were you had to stay at a park for at least five minutes, you had to give it a chance and mom and dad had to play with them on the park, right. So we started off having so much fun the kids are playing on the park. We were going on the swing, we played grounders together. It was like so much fun getting to it. Go to the next park and while we were were transferring parks, I set the kids up with my microphones and put the camera in the car and they were doing reviews of each park that we did and giving it a rating out of five.
Speaker 1:Perfect. So these piece of shit parks were getting like four out of five ratings. Yeah, and I realized it's because we were playing with them, right, like because, like they had a fun experience at this small, like it wasn't anything special it had swings, it had two slides and like monkey bars and because we were climbing on the structure playing tag with them.
Speaker 1:Right, they had so much fun. Yeah, so we hit a couple of the parks and then the bickering. I only have two microphones and there's three kids. The bickering started to happen. They started to get a little angry with each other and we're like this is a terrible idea. Why did we decide to? Do this it was partially fun and I haven't gone back to look at the footage, but I really want to like clip, uh edit reel of just them like being horrible kids, just to show.
Speaker 2:It's like just to be able to hear what you said to your sister, like this is uh edit reel of just them like being horrible kids, Just to show it's like did you hear what you said to your sister?
Speaker 1:Like this is how you treated her. Like did you see what you did to your brother? Like why are we fighting over this dumb shit? Like you're picking on them about nothing, like this is supposed to be. There was a definitely a moment where it was like this is supposed to be a fun day and you're taking the fun out of this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, come on guys like get your shit together here so we hit I think it was park. Seven was where things started to spiral. Okay, we had gone to some fun parks, but again, nothing special, like there was one park up by your place, in between, like those apartment buildings, if you've been up there. Yeah, and it's nothing special, it's an older park but they absolutely loved it. Like I give that uh 4.5 out of 5. It was such a great uh grounders park.
Speaker 2:This was amazing and then, like a little bridge on it, you go to like a fancier park and like that was like a three out of five.
Speaker 1:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:it was such a nicer park yeah.
Speaker 1:So anyways, on park number seven, I think it was the tiring, like the kids started to get a little tired out, started to get a little grumpy. We had gone to a skate park for one of them we had played. I'd played basketball with my son at another one, so like we were playing, yeah, and it got exhausting. I'm like thinking about a work day and thinking about a play at the park day, and it was that. So we decided to go get ice cream like the only way to break this up is ice cream.
Speaker 3:Did we catch a second wind?
Speaker 1:get a big cup of in a skill and ice cream and the kids fired, right back up and ready to go. Yeah, um. So we hit most of our parks here in oshawa and then my one, buddy warren. He saw the instagram story and he's like you got to come to the park by my place. I'd love like to see you guys there. We can connect whatever. I'm like okay, great. So I'm like we're going over to this park my wife beforehand. She had god bless her. She is such a lovely, organized person. Yeah, that's a side job. Yeah, she had different, like all the perks mapped out they're all she had them on a map printed.
Speaker 1:She's like we can't go there, we're going here next she was great with just going with the flow with me on this one. We go over to this park and it was like a brand new park and it was incredible, right. The kids absolutely loved it. They had like a premium basketball court with like an actual net. Um, it had this like merry-go-round thing that spun that you could go inside. The whole floor was that squishy material it had climbing.
Speaker 1:It had slides, it had swings. There was another section off to the side that had these poles sticking out of the ground. It's like a bamboo shoots, yeah, and they all had climbing things on them right. So we all ended up over there as a family and we played like tag across these climbing structures where I was trying to chase my son and you had to stay on them and it was just like one of the best parks we've seen and that's also.
Speaker 3:I think they have like accessibility areas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there too, which is really cool, really cool yeah so we went to that park and that was after ice cream, so that like turned everything around. It was the five out of five park, for sure they loved it. Went and visited my friend who's got a little baby so they got to see her hang out with her for a little while and we've only seen her a couple times, so like she's grown a ton walking and talking, so like one. Seeing my good buddy getting these cuddles from his daughter was like adorable where it's like dude, like she just loves you, and such a cute little kid too.
Speaker 1:So they were great because they gave us another little break. My buddy warren's wife, adriana, was giving the kids candy and gatorade and refueling them. She knew what we needed to get us going so then we kept going, went to I think that was park number nine or ten, and then we went to another one which is called the rocket ship oh, I was gonna say you're right there, yeah, and it's a great.
Speaker 1:Another great park. It has like a three-story climbing structure, all these cool things, but it has um this workout path on it too. Yeah, so we're already exhausted. My son at this point was like I don't think I can do another park park down, we get to this park. I go sit down in the shade and then he comes over. He's like hey, this is the workout path, want to go do that.
Speaker 2:And I was like no, I don't know, I do not, I do not whose kid are you?
Speaker 1:wanting to do this and I'm like why did I have to do this to you? So I'm like, yes, of course I want to do this. Sure, let's go do it. So it has these different stations basically along this path. Yeah, the first one is like step ups, where it has three different height bars for three different difficulties, and you're doing step ups, then it has a push-up station. Uh, sit up, it has a pull-up one squats, leg raises. As you go down this trail.
Speaker 1:I'm like oh, so we do this whole workout we come back, sit down on the bench with my wife and I'm just like, oh my gosh, this is exhausting my son's like looking over at the kids, and this park is a little bit more filled out. There's a lot of other kids. There's a group of maybe like six or seven boys counting like eeny, meeny, miny, moe, and then they all disperse into a game and I was like oh, go see if you can jump in that game.
Speaker 1:He's like no, I don't, I don't want to do that, yeah. Then all of a sudden he disappears. He goes onto the climbing structure and you can tell he's kind of watching them play like getting a cage out of it. Yeah, all of a sudden, all three of our kids have jumped into this game. It's just a community game of manhunt where they were doing eeny meeny, miny moe and, like manhunt's, great, because once you tag somebody they're it with you so then you're all hunting down the last person.
Speaker 1:Uh, my son loves that game. They had so much fun, awesome with these kids. So after I did that workout I got to sit on a bench for a while and just let them play. Yeah, and they played, and they played, and they played until they couldn't anymore and we're like okay, we gotta go for dinner. So I thought we were gonna get like 20, 25 parks in. We got to 11 and then that's a lot dinner and then stop.
Speaker 1:It's a lot of parks yeah and especially when you're having fun at all of them. Right, you could go push a swing and then go to the next park, but like they enjoyed each one of them. Yeah, my daughter was like we gotta do more.
Speaker 3:We gotta do more like babe, we are done this is where we call it. We're pulling the chute, yeah, but so all in all.
Speaker 1:It was a very successful day in that the kids got mom and dad undivided attention. It was practically a yes day, yeah, considering like we went to McDonald's. They got to get like Timbits and their like whatever lemonade drinks, and then we got ice cream. We went out for dinner, so we did all the things that were just fun things for them. The bickering aside, it was like a successful day and everything was like other than food. Everything was free, because it's all just public perks and you have a lot available to you and they can be a lot of fun yeah, yeah, it's a park extravaganza yeah, it was.
Speaker 1:Uh, it was a crazy day.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I recommend it okay, um, maybe pick four, you gotta be you gotta be energized for it right and plan it out know what you're getting into. You know I like that. Yeah, we didn't end up having any crazy family days like that. I don't think in the in our summer in the schedule, meg did her last week. She always takes off with the kids because we do YMCA for for camps girl goes crazy for the last week she goes crazy.
Speaker 2:For the last week she very much. It's funny you said something there with like the the ship parks got a high rating because all they needed was you and like right to be playing with their parents. We're like that's a concept. I know, and like we've talked about it that Meg struggles with where she thinks she needs to have big plans and big things for the kids. Like we run into that a lot on weekends and it's funny that like even this coming saturday she's going out for a bit. She's like is that okay? Like it's gonna be you and the kids? Okay, I'm not worried at all. Like if I want to do something, we will go to the park or we will go for a walk in the forest, like that's all we need to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, where her in that scenario she would want to plan something. If I'm going to go for half of a saturday somewhere, she would plan to do something with the kids. Where it's just like that's not what they need most times, like they just want to hang out and have your attention and do something. Like we started playing soccer in the kitchen. It's just yeah, this thing that started happening with like we have a little ball. We play soccer in the kitchen and now it's been every day for like the last week. When I get home, they're like Dad, we're playing soccer. I'm like, all right, we're playing soccer.
Speaker 3:We're just like a little stupid ball.
Speaker 2:It's the two of them against me, but they have a blast. They're the naked bellies. They take their shirts off. That's the team name. It's the two. It's in the kitchen and they have a blast and like it's something they look forward to now. Or it's like that's something that I'm trying to work with Meg on, where, like she has always struggled with play and play with the kids, where it's like, yeah, but like you are good at it and when you do it Right, they have a good time, you have a good time.
Speaker 1:Right plans. Does she feel like it's not enough if she's not doing something big?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, where she wants it to like feel substantial enough. Yeah, yeah, she wants it to be something right like, and she thinks that's what they need, right where, in my opinion, I don't think that's what they need, or it's like, more often than not, they're not gonna remember that, like if they picked the thing that they enjoyed the most out of the summer.
Speaker 2:It's not going to be one of those big adventures. They're right, like they really enjoy going and doing those things. Like don't get me wrong, they get hyped, they love cedar park, they love going down to center island and stuff like that. But they probably would say something stupid and random that we spent no money on and just went and did a play date with somebody one day and they'd be like, yeah, that was my favorite thing the whole summer. It's like, god damn it, right, the thing that costs next to nothing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we did do one thing that was like not cheap, uh, but it was the first time we'd ever done it, uh. We went to the x with the kids, oh right, and it was a blast. Um. We went on the train with them oh fun, and uh, the only the oldest had been on a train, so the other two were just like, just like heads out the window like the whole time.
Speaker 1:They were so stoked and was leo like veteran on the train. He's like guys, this is no big deal. No, he still loved it.
Speaker 3:He still loved it um, but we, yeah, when we got there, it was like we went in the evening, so it was a late, a late thing week night, um. So when we got there, we got there, it's like 5, 30 or something and maddie's like, so we're gonna get the. Uh, my wife where she's like we're gonna get the like 7, 36 train back and I just laughed at her.
Speaker 2:I'm like no, we're not going back in two hours yeah, let's get all the way down here for a two-hour excursion, so we didn't catch like the train we caught was like the 1051 or something right, like it was later.
Speaker 3:Yeah but I'm like, yeah, we're coming down here, we're making it worth our while. Yeah, so we end up spending more money than you want to. But it was like so cool seeing all the kids on that, like they went on their first little roller coaster and like a lot of the rides uh, leo and Riley could go on just the two of them, like without the parents, so they were like having a blast with that.
Speaker 3:And it was just cool to see that too and like experience it while while they were and just enjoying being older kids. And then yeah, just crew. Like most of the rides, my youngest. He's only three. He can go on as long as he has a parent with okay, yeah right, so he was just having a blast too, there's some pretty good rides.
Speaker 3:Uh, like the whole kids section there is pretty big, so there was a lot to and we didn't even go to. Like when we first got there. We're like do you want to see animals or do you want to go to rides? And I'm like we're going to rides, right we can see animals at the zoo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly this is what we're here for.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly so we didn't even get to that whole section. So next time we go we'd probably do it on a weekend and do like a whole day. But right, uh, that would also be a lot more money, because you just.
Speaker 1:But you also got like a sweet pocket with the kids, right where sometimes, like even with, like the park day, like when something goes on too long, you start to lose the special aspect of it because they start to get tired. Then you get whiny, you get into bickering, fighting, and then it starts to ruin the like, the beauty of what it was, and that's the thing it's like.
Speaker 3:It went as good as it possibly could have gone. There was literally no tantrums or anything the whole time and then like whatever, like tantrums happen, but when they don't happen, it's incredible.
Speaker 2:It's a whole new world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that was yeah, did they feel like they were playing with, like a house money being up past bedtime, though I don't even they.
Speaker 3:They had no idea what was coming. Like they idea was coming, like they didn't know it, like they have never seen like that time of night so well, leo has maybe, but the two younger had, like it's a big deal just to be outside in the dark. Yeah so yeah yeah, it was really really cool, especially like all the lights and stuff on all the rides when it got dark out. It was really a lot of fun to see oh, that's special yeah.
Speaker 3:And then, uh, something I was like really proud of my oldest for is he's like big on if he has, he gets set on something in his mind so like there he had there was like all the big like pokemon stuffies that he really wanted to win and like the games right, but they're all just a scam, oh yeah obviously so you're really just paying like this game. Uh, this stuffy. It takes like six rounds of the game to play, so it's cost 60 dollars for a stuff you're buying, a 60 you can't have that.
Speaker 3:So he, he like, that was his only like moment of like. He was like super disappointed about it. And then we were like going around to all the different ones or like, let's see what you can have. Like you can play a ten dollar game and that's it right. And so we're like what do you want to pay ten dollars for, basically. But he kept going back. It was like he was like slowly going down. He's like he wanted the 30 prize and then it was like the 20 prize and then at the end it's like yeah, like you could see, it was finally clicking for him and he's like yeah that's a lot of money for that stuff.
Speaker 3:He's like you're right. And then he finally decided on just a $10, like inflatable thing. But it was like for him and like all the things that we struggle, maddie and I like struggle with him over, uh, in our parenting with him like it was such a big deal for him to just the way that he accepted it all and it's like, oh and like bought into the idea or just the fact that, like those, things are way too much money for what they are yeah yeah, and he was able to actually like make sense of it all.
Speaker 3:It was really cool, and so, like I was, I took the time to like talk to him about like how I was proud of like just his mindset shift through the whole. Thing it was just a cool moment out of nothing, really, but yeah, really proud to guide him to that right. Yeah, and then he was like super pumped about his little ninja turtle blow up thing right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah he understands it and it means more yeah it's cool I find trips like that, even though you spend more money than you wanted to, yeah feel like money well spent oh, you just paid for a moment in life that you just like you feel, like you plucked it out of the stars and you've just like got this gift now that you'll remember that special night under the star lights, under the lights of, like the fair, with the kids, in that moment forever they're uh, the two younger kids got their faces painted while we were there.
Speaker 3:Nice, also way too much money, yeah, but it was like. The videos I have of them getting their face painted, or are the most adorable thing in the world. So it's like, yeah, exactly that it's like yeah, exactly that. It's like moments you'll cherish forever.
Speaker 1:So your story reminds me of two stories. First story with face painting. When we were in Dominican they did a face painting night. My daughter wanted to get her face painted. They painted it. I can't even remember what it was, but they used a lot of blue paint. We go back to the room for bedtime tried to start washing this blue paint off. Her face was blue. She was a Smurf.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like it wasn't coming off.
Speaker 1:She was sunburned, with a blue face crying.
Speaker 2:Is this going to be forever? It's not coming off. Honestly, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know what type of paint this lady used, but it was not coming up like, honestly, I don't know. I don't know what type of paint this lady used, but it was not. We had to work at it to get this off. Like it's gonna come off, you're gonna be okay.
Speaker 3:It was a disaster to the point where it was like I am never letting anybody get their face painted so I'm glad it worked out well for you our experience was very different, although this kind of leads into another thing that happened. Uh, a tip for parents who are taking young children on the go train, especially if you're on the upper level of the go train is don't sit near the stairs.
Speaker 3:So we had at one point my wife had the two older kids. Uh, she had taken them to the washroom. So the other kid was the youngest crew. He was just going back and forth from once because we had like eight seats. So he was going back and forth from one side to the other and it just so happened that like right as he was crossing in front of the stairs, the train jolted forward and sent him flying down the stairs.
Speaker 3:He just disappeared, he just disappeared he just disappeared, he go, and then all you hear is there's like four probably like early 20s guys sitting like right at the bottom of the stairs and they're like, oh my goodness, like they were all like getting up. This fucking kid just came out of nowhere and then I was just like I have nothing to see here, just like go down and grab him and take him back up. But then he's crying. Yeah, like he handled it like a champ, but and thank goodness he wasn't really hurt.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, it could have been his face yeah he was uh, he was uh, captain america. So his blue was just running all over the place and then he was crying more because he like looked in the glass and he could see it all running just devastated, why I'm just like well, you need to stop crying you're allowed to cry, but if you want, your face, face to stay, then like stop crying and I'll like fix it up the best I can.
Speaker 2:The current issue you're having is with the crying, so yeah, sit in the middle of the train yeah, not at the, at the stairs or on the bottom yeah, the bottom is good life just gave him a little flick and then also when we first got on the train.
Speaker 3:Of course, leo's like whatever you do, don't touch the yellow stripe. Yeah, probably could have just not said anything didn't have to acknowledge it at all, actually he's like oh man, I really want to touch the yellow straight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like honestly me too, dude just to see what happens. I've always wanted to boy move oh yeah, you can't put something brightly colored like that until they're not to touch it so the other story that reminded me of was, uh, with the stuffies and wanting a stuffy and wanting something.
Speaker 1:My daughters love being able to get something when they go somewhere. Yeah, we had taken them to the aquarium and at the end of ripley's aquarium in toronto they force you to walk through their gift section which just has every toy that a kid could imagine and candy and all the things.
Speaker 1:It is a kid's most happiest place to be. I was going down. For some reason I was way more budget conscious on this one, where I'm like it's expensive to go there, it's expensive to get downtown, we're not buying shit. Before we went I was like, listen, we know what's gonna happen, we know what they have there. Look on amazon. I can get you this mermaid for like five bucks instead of like 25 or 35. They're gonna charge you down there. You want a bigger one, amazon prime.
Speaker 2:It can be delivered tomorrow this afternoon, if you really want like if you want this, I'll buy you this.
Speaker 1:We're not buying anything in there, understand. Yeah, they price things up in there, right? They've got kids and parents right where they want them. They're tired from coming to the city, they're tired from walking around all the things.
Speaker 2:The parents don't have any fight left. No, so they.
Speaker 1:It's brilliant marketing by them yeah, so I've already prepped them for that. Then we're there and they've got like the a frozen yogurt machine and I'm like, no, we're not getting frozen yogurt. Same thing, this is like a ten dollar frozen yogurt that costs them like one dollar to make. Yeah, I'm trying to teach my kids like the economics of it, like we should just buy one of the frozen yogurt machines and within a year we'll start profiting off of how much we can charge for it.
Speaker 1:They're like okay, like they started to understand that we get to the end. I'm like the dad with blinders. I'm like basically covering my kids eyes.
Speaker 2:What's that movie with?
Speaker 1:sandra bullock. See, when it's like they have to, like they can't see, you gotta like have your eyes closed. I'm like basically like blinders, like don't look, stop, I'm like I'm just powering through.
Speaker 2:They're like dad wait, dad wait, what dad look at this and I'm like nope, no time let's go powered through that thing.
Speaker 1:They were so pissed at me for not even letting them look at it, but I'm like we are not. Yeah, I'm like this is the hill I'm dying on to the point where, like, we get outside and I'm still just motoring away, I'm like getting the fuck away from this building. Like wait dad, slow me down, slow down like nope, let's go.
Speaker 2:I gotta put a hundred meters between me and the front doors.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got out without buying anything but good for you. They definitely would have loved to have bought something and would the money have mattered that much? Probably not, but it was the hill.
Speaker 2:I was too expensive that that's your parent hack for going to a situation like that. Bring the eye masks that they sleep in throw those on imagine seeing a parent walk through with their kids with eye masks. I just skim the floss that's a move and I am here for it let's take a moment to thank regal ideas.
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Speaker 1:And our Bro Laws contest is still running, still running. We should pick an end date to this contest. But, we do have a few entries now to be able to go over. Okay, if you are still interested in entering this railing giveaway contest, please send your pictures of your deck to dave at brolawsca and you'll be entered into a contest to win a full Real Ideas railing package.
Speaker 3:Could you get chat GPT to make pictures of like a really shitty deck You're probably good yeah. That would be a good idea.
Speaker 2:Take a picture of your house. Yeah, no, it's not a bad place. Make sure it's a model in your footage.
Speaker 1:Just curious how much does that stuff sell for on the secondary market?
Speaker 2:Just out of curiosity, no real reason. I had a moment in therapy recently my most recent one where I realized that my daughter has challenged me in ways to think about things that I never thought I would really think about before. Interesting, and it sparked a question of like is there, is there something that you can think of that your kid has challenged you to look at differently from, like, a life perspective as an adult because of the way that they view things as a kid. So for this, for me, was like this is more obviously very big picture stuff, but it's something like I've been trying to pull apart and figure out what it is, I believe, overall. Um, but realizing that as murph goes through the child version of all of this, and like navigating life, what does life mean? What is the world, yada, yada, yada.
Speaker 2:And having those conversations with her, I realized, was what was stirring up a lot of that in me.
Speaker 2:But I never would have anticipated that.
Speaker 2:I never would have anticipated her kind of stoking that fire for me or like initiating that in me. I always just thought that's like a personal journey and like why would my kid, who's eight, be a one that's going to affect me in that way. But realizing that through my last session of talking about just like struggling with some of those bigger concepts over the last like year or two, and then she's like, yeah, well, your daughter's been trying to sort all that out as well and like you've been working on that with her, I was like, all right, I guess that's what's been sparking all of that and me and trying to work through all that. I guess we have a lot of good conversations on site and here about that stuff. But just realizing that that's something that she was almost challenging me on because she was working on it and we were working with her through it. So it was just a really interesting thing of not realizing, yeah, how parenting would challenge certain sides of my belief system or who I was or like core values that I had like.
Speaker 2:I didn't anticipate those things being stirred up the way that they have, I guess, in the way that she has done that for me.
Speaker 3:I think I've just been surprised by the way that my oldest son thinks about those things, because he'll say things and it's just like oh yeah, I'm glad like, so on, literally on the weekend he's like he I've been giving him a hard time because he keeps saying, oh my god, overthink, when he gets frustrated, and I just I'm just like, ah, just, you just don't need to say that like right anyway. And he's like, all of a sudden he was like what? Like I don't really care, like I don't even believe in god he's. I'm like, oh, really, he's like, yeah, he's like I don't believe in god. Because I'm like, oh really, he's like, yeah, he's like I don't believe in God, because if God created the earth, then why doesn't he take care of it? I'm just like, uh, that's a big concept.
Speaker 3:But it's just so interesting to hear, because Maddie was automatically going to respond to it and I was just like, well, I think it's really cool that you're thinking about things like that. Oh, yeah that's all.
Speaker 3:That's really all that. The only way I responded to it, right, I was like that's a good question, why don't you like think more about that? Um, it's just like it didn't necessarily challenge the way that I thought about things, but it was interesting to know that they are thinking about things like that, right, like those big picture things yeah, it's pretty wild, yeah, and it's an interest.
Speaker 2:Like I found it interesting to navigate with murph, specifically like her being the oldest, being eight now, and being at that age where she's starting to pick that stuff apart yeah, where, and again, we'll, we'll find out as we move through these next years. But, like meg and I very much taking an approach of not giving her a concrete answer. Yeah, it's like we don't have one, and I'm like the way that I grew up, everything had an answer. There was always a truth to any question that I had. Yeah, and I'd say truth in quotations. It was very fact-based, like yeah, no, this is that answer and that's all. There is exactly where we're very much approaching things with like, if I have no clue, murph's gonna know I have absolutely no clue right, you're not making up an answer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if I'm wrestling with something, like I'm letting her know that that's something that I'm wrestling with and like, yeah, no, I don't actually know where I stand on that, because I think it could be this or I think it could be this, yeah, and that has kind of allowed her to take that kind of posture with some of these bigger questions as well, where it's like I don't know, yeah, it's like that's good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the most, the very least I would do is like say, well, this is what some people think right, and like, this is this is how I was raised right and like I could tell him that this is what I believe now and we could discuss. I have no problem doing that either. But yeah, it is pretty. It's pretty cool when your kid gets to that age. The the one thing that he is challenging me on, though, like recently, is he's like he's like, uh, because we've been giving him consequences for certain things, but he's like, um, he's like I don't believe in consequences. He's like they don't work on me.
Speaker 3:I'm like well, I just don't think that you understand how they're working. And he's like no, he's like I'm just different, I'm my own person. He's like they don't work. He's like they just make me angrier and make me want to do the thing more. I was like well, uh, I do understand that they make you angry, that makes sense.
Speaker 3:I can see that part, yeah, I get why you're mad about the consequence but what you're not understanding is like the responsibility that, or like the, uh, the ownership you have to take, like that it kind of is supposed to help you take of your actions, like, and that's the point of consequences, for you to own your, yeah, whatever happened, right, your behavior or your actions or whatever. And it was just like him challenging me. He's like nope, try something else. Basically is what he was saying Because that doesn't work.
Speaker 1:Go back to the drawing board dad, you're gonna have to circle back well, what do you have in? Mind personally, I think candy. Candy would help me rethink my actions better no.
Speaker 3:I'm sure he's thought it all out. I just need to get him in the right mood to tell me that's it how I should deal with these things. Yes, his alternative.
Speaker 1:So I can't think of anything that my kids have really like made me think of in a big way like that.
Speaker 1:I'd say one thing that I've really enjoyed is like experiencing their firsts of things for myself again, their firsts of things for myself again.
Speaker 1:So like going for you, brett, going to the cne and like your kids going on that ride for the first time, and that experience of seeing their joy going to concerts with my kids and seeing them enjoy that and like that like ignite something different in them. The concert. I've been to a bunch of concerts, I love music, I love being in that atmosphere, but it was so different and so special just watching my kid watch this performance right and just being in that moment. And so, yeah, I think like experiencing their firsts and their excitement about their firsts reinvigorates all of those things. So even like my daughter, when she went to cedar park with your wife and my wife and all the cousins and stuff, she passed the swim test and it was her first time passing the swim test since the swimming lessons that we talked about on this podcast so they worked, they paid off, um, because apparently this swim test was even a longer one than the one that she had been trying before, right?
Speaker 1:so, like she was so proud of herself, like dad, I did it. Like I'm like what she's like. Yeah, I thought like halfway through I got tired and I thought to myself I can do this. And I kept going and I was like, oh, my god, like it, just like it made me feel so proud of her. But the other thing was it made me realize how much your kids are watching you and watching you do things and how much the things that you do in life matter. So, me doing my half marathon and me pushing myself in all of these different challenges, I'm doing them for myself, but my kids are observing all of these things and my son wanting to do the workout where it's like, ah man, I don't want to do this workout, but I'm the one who made you want to do workouts. So, yeah, I'm supposed to want to do this.
Speaker 1:So it's like I think the challenge that my kids have kind of been to me is to do and be the example of the thing that you are wanting them to do.
Speaker 1:So if you're wanting them to be more empathetic, then show them empathy in different ways. If you're wanting them to be determined or to go after stuff, then go after things of your own so they can see you doing those. Because I, as the youngest in my family, benefited so much from watching other people go through experiences right, um, even just like being younger in the trades and having a bunch of like people that I knew in companies that were older and learning from their mistakes, learning from their failures, so that I wasn't going to necessarily go through all of the same trials and tribulations that they've gone through. But being that for your kid doing something like you want your kid to do new experiences then let them see you do new experiences. Share that you're scared about it. Share that you're worried. Like they were all asking. Like how did you feel on your first days of school? Like I was nervous. I was excited.
Speaker 1:Like everything you're feeling right now is okay. It's okay to feel those feelings, but to be that example for the kids, I find it like I love it and I also find it very challenging because as a parent, you get exhausted. It's hard to always be on, always do things, but even in that, I want to show them how to rest, because I feel like sometimes parents can over busy themselves and always be doing, doing, doing, doing and they don't know how to rest. Yeah, but for a kid to see you rest and understand that like yeah, there's dishes that need being done, but right now we're having a chill day, like this is what we need and it's okay to not do and everything all the time, it's okay to just chill. So I just think like our kids are little sponges, absorbing every little thing that we do, whether it's challenging faith and religion and the meaning of the world, or making yourself lunch instead of buying lunch or like little things like that, or cleaning or picking up after yourself.
Speaker 1:I mean that thing they still suck at.
Speaker 3:But I don't know if they ever figure that out but they are little sponges that are watching and absorbing so much they are, but their nature also comes into play a lot right so like my, something that I I would say that I struggle with, and you'd laugh.
Speaker 3:But like, uh, like celebrating my like a win of mine basically so like I intentionally with my oldest son, well, with all my kids, I intentionally like like let's be each other's biggest cheerleaders, right, like and I try and like hype them up on, like some like him passing the swim, his swimming test, or as well, or like leveling up and swimming, yeah, and he's just like, yeah, like it's not a big deal, like it's just like he doesn't get hyped about it's like I can't as hard as I try to like nurture that part of him.
Speaker 3:It's just like you're just, you're just, it's never gonna excite you sorry, bro, like maybe it will eventually maybe. I just gotta keep trying and someday you'll turn a corner with that, but have you.
Speaker 1:I don't know, have you ever celebrated any of your wins with them?
Speaker 3:yeah, I like well, I mean, I would say, the most that I've done is like show him something that, like I've done at work that I'm proud of but right I'm like outside of that, like not a lot right I don't know, I don't have I wouldn't say I have many like wins, like stuff like that to celebrate outside of that right they look different now, right yeah yeah, the age we're at like yeah, hopefully get a baseball win.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say something yeah, and I like they don't really care about my work.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's right it's not, it's, I don't know, it's different it's hard to show that.
Speaker 1:I wonder if there's a way of, uh, because I I think of like, micro wins, because sometimes we think of wins needing to be something that's really, really big. Um, but some ways of getting yourself into a role are to create little wins. Create little wins for yourself, whether it's like wake up at seven, 30, like don't press snooze today, uh, don't snack tonight. Or read a book like type thing where it's like to us, like, reading a book isn't a big win necessarily, but if that's something that is a struggle to you to do and you do it, then that is a win, right, like it's not like winning a championship, you're not getting a medal and an award. It's like congrats, you read a book, so did like a lot of other people, but it's like that can still be.
Speaker 1:Like I would praise my kid if, like all of a sudden, he finished a book and it was like what?
Speaker 2:the hell. I didn't know you were reading a book. Let's go.
Speaker 1:We're going to ice cream or something like that, right, like maybe there are smaller things in life that we should be considering, wins that we don't.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's true, I mean we did finish. We finally beat the dark side of the moon and Mario Odyssey together, and we were pretty jacked about that that was pretty awesome with your son is so great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was great um, you said something there that sparked something that I had wanted to talk about in here for a while. I think it's a bigger discussion than we can have when mark's back, but it's the concept of being somebody's biggest cheerleader and it's something that I had to I've been challenging myself on, because it was that thought process of are you your partner's biggest cheerleader. So the thought got popped in because I realized that old Joey almost, for some reason, views it as a weakness or a negativity, where if someone was like who's your biggest cheerleader? Oh, my partner, for sure they're your biggest cheerleader. Oh, like my partner, for sure they're my biggest cheerleader and I for some reason had a way in my mind of looking down on that like it's cringy yeah, where it's like you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's like cringe aspect to it. Where it's like I, now me, where I'm like how ass backwards is that? Right, I want to be my partner's biggest cheerleader like meg should have no doubt in her mind that I want to be my partner's biggest cheerleader. Like Meg should have no doubt in her mind that I'm going to be hyped for whatever she's going after. Right, that if she fails at it, there's not going to be a damn word of like discouragement about it. It's going to be all uplifting, like why would you not want to be your partner's biggest cheerleader in any moment? Right.
Speaker 2:And it like I think it's with talking to like it was coming out of. I forget what it was, but it was a. We were in a big group of people and just having a few different discussions with a few different guys, um, and talking about that, how, like it can very much get into not necessarily a negative headspace, but it can become like keeping score with your partner and you get into the like the drainingness of schedule and the monotony of life and all of a sudden you find yourself like resentful.
Speaker 2:There can be a lot of negative stuff that starts to come up in a relationship where I think a lot of that can be pushed to the side if you're just almost as often as you can thinking of encouraging things and thinking about how you're going to be the biggest support for your partner. Yeah and like obviously that has to go both ways, like you hear about it happening in relationships where that can also become one-sided, and I think that typically is only going to happen if you have one person who's a narcissist and one that isn't, because then they're going to just suck all the life out of the relationship.
Speaker 2:So ideally you're in a relationship with your partner, that is, you're both there to support each other, and I think it just can sometimes take one of you to I don't know spearhead yeah, just being forcefully encouraging and be your partner's biggest cheerleader, because then it makes it so much easier for them to reciprocate that back yes yeah, and then life becomes a lot easier and more enjoyable when you're just encouraging each other, not trying to keep score or try to figure out who's got the edge on who on any given day, like yeah, in all fairness, sorry, in all fairness, I think it would be really hard for her to be your biggest cheerleader when she has to compete with me I pump her tires up pretty big.
Speaker 2:You're a great cheerleader meg is a fantastic cheerleader.
Speaker 3:I'm saying I'm a terrible cheerleader I would say that's something that, uh, my wife and I probably have struggled with. I would say probably, because we're not very like super enthusiastic people and we're not like words of affirmation is not something that we're either of us are great at gotcha and we're not like words of affirmation is not something that we're either of us are great at gotcha, so it's not like yeah, does it come as natural?
Speaker 3:yeah, yeah I would say so. I would say that it's probably something that we could talk about together, more about the importance of it anyway. Um, because I would I'd be lying if I said that I don't like feel a little bit jealous of couples that are more like that sometimes yeah, and I'm sure she feels the same way, like I know she does, because she asks me for more words of affirmation. Right, I'm like I'll try.
Speaker 1:I'm trying my best for more words of affirmation right, I'm like I'll, I'm trying my best.
Speaker 1:It's funny how I can talk all day about how much I love sour keys, but uh my life partner that's pathetic, but uh, yeah, it's something I can work on, for sure but I just I have noticed you working on it because, like, words of affirmation is a big deal for me, yeah, and I have taken note of the like you. When you say something of like hey, you're doing a really great job with this, like it does mean a lot, yeah, um, and I know that it is something that you are. That doesn't come natural to you yeah, um, which at the same time, like when it does, then it hits more like it's one of those things where somebody could be like saying great job all the time and it's like okay, it's lost its meaning, bro. Like yeah, um, so when it does, then it does have that extra like meaning behind it. Yeah, um.
Speaker 2:But yeah it is hard when it's something that doesn't come natural to you yeah, I was thinking about that there because, like, yeah, I don't know you're saying that, like when it's somebody who says it all the time, it can mean less, but I think what it said with genuineness behind it, yeah, I don't think it does, because you are somebody who's encouraging and it still is very encouraging anytime you give that, like even jordan, who works with us right, like he's someone who's constantly uplifting the people around him, and I never take it as fake from him right and I think of, like tiffany pratt.
Speaker 2:She's someone who's someone from the outside looking at tiffany would think, okay, there's got to be something fake about this woman because she is just so loud and in your face and tiffany pratt, but we knowing her like any, every time we see her she's so incredibly encouraging and you take that all so full, it fills you up.
Speaker 2:We're like I've never met anybody who's genuinely encouraging. Right that I have taken it as fake, right? We're like the you're only going to take that from a fake person who who is just like okay, you're just saying that for the sake of saying that, because you think you need to say that. Yeah, where? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it is just like, it's a habit that needs to get built. We're like like.
Speaker 2:I'm the same, like I want to be better at it, and it is something for me that like that this touches back on the nature versus nurture. I didn't have that. I didn't see that with my parents. I didn't see them encouraging each other and lifting each other up. It was often bickering or telling the other person that it was time for dinner.
Speaker 3:So put down whatever you're doing and come in like there was never that example set I think it does start with your family, though, like the environment you create with your family, because, yeah, I've talked about that with my sister, um, just like one-on-one conversations, and we're like why, like I feel like our family needs that more, like we have to champion each other, yeah like we have no problem doing that for our nieces and nephews yeah like we are super encouraging and like cheerleader for them, cheerleaders for them.
Speaker 3:But like with each other, like we don't celebrate each other's wins like ever, like I can think of, like one time where we celebrated like my brother becoming like a lead pastor at a church? Yeah, it was like we haven't celebrated anything else I'm like we could do a better job of that and I think that, yeah, it would just go a long way, like within our family, uh, yeah, yeah and it's just one of those like why wouldn't you yeah?
Speaker 2:like there's there is not a downside to this right, and that's why a cake any day?
Speaker 2:yeah, you're an adult, you can celebrate anything if you really want to that's interesting, yeah like how much better or maybe better is not a good word, but I think it can make going through these stages of life that are so difficult and so demanding of our time and our energy and our resources with young family and you're just trudging through life, sometimes with your partner how much easier it is to get through those days when you're doing it with someone who's encouraging by your side, telling you to keep your head up.
Speaker 2:Like that's something I've tried to be a lot more intentional about, especially with texts with meg, where, like I'll text her throughout the day and just trying to encourage her and just trying to be like you got this, you're killing it and she's gotten better at asking for that where she's like all right, like I'm, I've been diving on my phone for the last hour. I need a kick in the ass so that I could just like give her encouragement, to give her a boost, and, yeah, just how much better life can be when you're living it with someone who's genuinely encouraging it's just the positive vibes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just keep filling life with positive vibes and it's got to breed positivity, like there's no other option.
Speaker 2:There's enough negativity out there, right? Do you think there's?
Speaker 1:an element to like how much it means to you. Though, like with the whole like love language type thing, I think the love language aspect of things is a little broken in my personal opinion. I think there isn't one for everybody. I think everybody needs all of those types of love, but some of them mean more and weight different, based on your upbringing or the whole nature and nurture aspect. Yeah, um, like, is that something that you think is a baseline that everything feeds off of it, or is it just something that you're noticing in your life that you and your spouse need?
Speaker 2:I'd say more the latter there, where I think it's just something that is for me and meg. It was missing and lacking where for me and I know that you and me are similar on this bri, where like words of affirmation are always pushed down the ladder where it's I don't want to expect those. It's not something that has ever been fulfilled for me, so I'm just going to set the expectation as I'm not going to get it Right, and then that way I'm guarded against the fact that if I don't get it, it's not a disappointment and it's not something that I'm going to hold against Meg if she's not giving me that, because I'm just not going to expect it, and I'm going to be the one who doesn't need it because that makes me stronger.
Speaker 2:And that makes me whatever I need to tell myself, right where in reality, I I'm finding for myself that it probably means even more to me than the rest of the love languages that I've told myself are higher on the list because you would have said that words of affirmation was low.
Speaker 1:It's not something that you need, yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:It would have been at the bottom with the gifts. It's like again for the same reason, where it was like we didn't have the money or the things for gifts. So then I always held gifts super low, right, it's like I'm not going to set any expectation there. I try not to celebrate my birthday in a lot of ways where it's like I'm just going to push those things to the side so I don't need them and then that way there's no expectation, there's no let down, there's no disappointment yeah, I think.
Speaker 3:I think ultimately it just leads to like a feeling of low self-worth. Yeah, exactly all of those things. That's probably what I experience as well, right? Yeah, just like constantly telling yourself that you don't need these things and like really you're not worthy of them. Yeah, and at the end of the day, right right it's masking it.
Speaker 2:Right it's telling yourself you don't need it, where, in reality, you're telling yourself you don't deserve it, you're not worth it.
Speaker 1:Right and I think, like if you would go to most people and ask them about their lowest rated what, when they think, is the least priority? There's got to be something tied into it oh yeah whether it's gifts, whether it's like um acts of service it's like no, like I don't want to expect acts of service, like it's something that's not a priority. It's like well, why? Like yeah, I feel like there's a lot to unpack with those, with people oh yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:This is all the fun of therapy. You get to work through all this stuff, but, yeah, I think it's realizing that there is something lacking in your relationship. That is foundational, because being able to give each other words of affirmation and lift each other up is very foundational, in my opinion, to be able to have a partner that is encouraging you to walk through life right, so question answer is it hard for you to give words of affirmation and hard for you to accept words of affirmation like?
Speaker 1:does it feel awkward both ways, or is there more of a struggle one way than another?
Speaker 2:yes, the first one yeah, I'd say it's both ways for me, like I, I don't because I don't think to do it it's not on the top of my mind to encourage.
Speaker 2:It's something that I've been trying to work on over the past couple of years to just make it more of a natural reaction to encourage people because of that realization, but I think because again it was so low on the total poll and telling myself I don't need it, then you it's not on the top of your mind to give it either because you're not expecting it, you're not wanting it from other people. You tell yourself you're not wanting it. So then it's not on your top of mind to give. So I think it's part of that too, where it's like I want to be more intentional to give it out.
Speaker 2:So then it opens it up to come back as well where it's like I have noticed that with megan I had something that her and I have obviously talked about. Um, so then that opens up the door to her getting home and noticing that I did whatever I did, if I happened to do the dishes that night, then it's not just a non-acknowledgement, it is hey, thanks so much for doing that.
Speaker 1:And like, even that is it can seem little, but it's massive even if it's expected, yes, just still saying thanks for doing that like means a lot it just makes you feel, seen, yeah, that's important, yeah, I think, like everybody craves to be seen and heard, and just we even, like in so much of our conversation about our kids going to school, so much of our worry for them in school is that they're not going to be seen and heard, yeah, that they're not going to be understood for who they are, that they're not going to be cared for and loved for the way that we want them to be, and it's like we crave that for ourselves, which is why we fear sending our kids into the world and how they're going to experience it on their own yeah, and that's why it's just so important for us and on that vein of just make sure you're doing that for your kids, making sure that they're always seen and heard by their parents when they're at home right, because as long as they know they have that safe bubble is going to make all the difference for them.
Speaker 1:Well, brent walker is going to be pissed to hear us talk about teachers and school.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so many generalizations mark's not here and he didn't come.
Speaker 2:Be on the podcast, I am.
Speaker 1:Brent, I apologize. This was a spur of the moment recording.