The Real Dad Podcast
Each week, these four fathers cover a wide range of "Dad" related topics, from the joys of watching your child grow up to the challenges of balancing work and family life. With their unique blend of humor and authenticity, Dave, Joey, Brian, and Mark provide a refreshing perspective on what it means to be a dad in today's world.
Tune in for the laughs, stay for the heartfelt conversations about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. Whether you're a seasoned dad or a soon-to-be father, "The Real Dad Podcast" is the perfect place to connect with other dads and get the support you need.
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The Real Dad Podcast
Shepherds, Not Engineers: Letting Kids Choose, Learning When to Step Back
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The hardest part of parenting isn’t the calendar or the carpools—it’s knowing when to cheer louder and when to get out of the way. We sit down, shorts weather and all, to unpack the thin line between healthy encouragement and the kind of blind confidence that leaves a kid declaring they’re “the best at hockey” after crying through evaluations. From the glass at a rink to the bleachers at gymnastics, we explore what it actually looks like to let kids struggle, self-correct, and choose their own path.
Our conversation ranges from back-to-school overload and the hidden cost of over-scheduling to the surprisingly tender lessons inside a messy morning meltdown—including a drywall repair and a real apology. We talk honestly about coaching your own kid versus stepping back so they can hear another voice, the difference between praise that builds grit and praise that inflates ego, and how to set consequences that teach priorities without shaming effort. You’ll hear why “shepherds, not engineers” has become our north star, plus practical ways to handle siblings who disrupt cherished rituals, like a peaceful fishing trip that goes gloriously sideways.
Whether your child is trading team hockey for solo gymnastics, begging for new basketball shoes without logging reps, or insisting they’re “fine” for tests they didn’t study for, you’ll get tools to navigate motivation, resilience, and repair. Expect candid stories, hard-won strategies, and a reminder that your voice doesn’t have to be the loudest to lead. If you’re trying to raise grounded, confident kids who can handle feedback and find their drive, press play and join the conversation. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review—what’s one place you’re ready to step back so your kid can step up?
Question for you though, because you were saying earlier where Mav thinks that he is like the greatest. Is there a place where we as parents, by always being encouraging, we instill like a blind confidence that they shouldn't have in certain things?
SPEAKER_02:Dude, it scares me.
SPEAKER_06:It is like I literally had this conversation with Robin the other day. We have like a water tower and he climbed up on top of that. He's like, I'm gonna jump off. And I was like, no, Brad, you're not. He's like, it's this is easy. I'm like, what have I done to this guy? And Robin's like, well, you throw him around and you wrestle, and I was like, yeah, but that that can't be it, can it? And I don't know, but this kid thinks he's bulletproof, like he's gonna jump off the top of our deck or some sh.
SPEAKER_01:I was thinking like more like basic ability, not like endangering your jfine to relax your man.
SPEAKER_07:Come on, listen to the real dad podcast.
SPEAKER_03:Welcome to the real dad podcast. I'm Dave, and I'm wearing shorts. In October. It's not October, but basically, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I'm Brent. I too am wearing shorts in almost October.
SPEAKER_06:Well, this is awkward. I'm not wearing shorts. My name is Mark. And my fun fact is I brought my thank you cards for my wedding. Is it because he knew I was gonna be here and I didn't give him one? But I don't have one for Brent because he wasn't invited. He's been holding that one.
SPEAKER_00:I'll take one of those. Brent, do you mind delivering daily for us?
SPEAKER_06:Oh, I don't think I brought Jordan's. Did I bring Jordan's? Well, that's awkward.
SPEAKER_04:Oh shit.
SPEAKER_06:That's for sitting in my seat earlier, you dick. You introduced yourself, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Everybody knows who you are anyway. I'm Brian. Uh welcome to the Real Dad podcast.
SPEAKER_03:We've uh we've got Brent with us today. We are sadly missing Joey, but Brent has been on the podcast a lot. Yeah, you know who he is. But this is one of the first times I think you're on the podcast while Mark is also on the podcast.
SPEAKER_01:Oh it's a beautiful synchrony here. It's like seeing a long-lost friend. I'm pretty sure I saw Mark two years ago, and it feels like I just saw him yesterday. No, it hasn't been two years ago. Dave just told me I haven't seen him in four months, so you're at least two years.
SPEAKER_03:Come off it. Really? Well, you guys haven't seen each other in a long time because you're always missing each other.
SPEAKER_01:No, it hasn't been years. When is the last I don't think Mav was born the last time I saw you?
SPEAKER_03:Is that for real?
SPEAKER_01:It's it could be possible. Mav records. I've only seen you three times in my life. I just feel like I know you well.
SPEAKER_07:It's a real face lie.
SPEAKER_00:He would count the times though. Brent holds those three times very closely to his heart. And one of them was not your wedding. We used to golf together.
SPEAKER_01:Ooh. Yeah, yeah, he's got you there. One time with Jordan Hayes. Maybe that was when you guys met and he got invited to the wedding that I did not go to.
SPEAKER_06:I think you actually introduced me to Jordan Hayes. That makes it even more awkward.
SPEAKER_03:Joey is at home with a sick wife taking care of the kids and his uh lovely wife. So, Joey, we miss you. Um, also, thanks for dropping off the laptop so that we can still record tonight.
SPEAKER_06:What a legend.
SPEAKER_03:He really is, really is a great guy. Um, and Mark, you have been away for a while because your kids and your family have been sick and work, and like every excuse you have to miss a podcast, I think. Pretty much I exhausted them all.
SPEAKER_06:And uh, I almost canceled tonight. Almost almost I actually tried, and then I was like, I used that one last week, and then I used that excuse the week before. So it looks like I'm coming.
SPEAKER_03:Honestly, it's the reality of parenting, though. Like, you don't know what is coming to you, and especially going into a school season and kids getting sick again, and all of the germs being floating around in all of the spaces.
SPEAKER_06:I like, you know how most parents are like, Oh, I can't wait till I go back to school. Like, we were at the bus stop the other day, and people were like, Oh, they're a freedom bus, freedom bus. And I was like, Fuck school, I can't stand it, I hate it. I had the best summer, I had the best summer with my kids and my family. It was awesome.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, that's amazing.
SPEAKER_06:It was awesome. School came and threw a whole wrench in the plans. Brent's a teacher, no offense, but like, fuck those guys, because you get the school and the routine, the exhaustion when they get off the bus, like, absolutely not. And then we had we have them in 11 extracurricular activities for whatever god awful reason. Insane. It's bro, yeah. I'm broke, I'm unhappy. Nobody wants to be at these damn things. They're not having fun at this age. It's like, like, okay, you're not going to hockey. I don't care, I don't want to go to hockey anyways.
SPEAKER_02:I'm like, shit.
SPEAKER_01:I used to punish Emmett by forcing him to go to hockey. He's like, I don't want to go to hockey. I'm like, well, you're going. And I'm just dragging the jersey on him. I got elbow pads on his knee pads, I got everything on backwards. I'm like, you're going. I'll I'll put you in that car without your shoes on. I don't. We're going. Does he hate the sport now or does he like it? Well, we're still trying to figure that out. Okay.
SPEAKER_08:It's a journey.
SPEAKER_06:But it's every parent has that story, but when you're in it, and you because my kids the same thing. When you're in the locker room, it's like, why my kid's the only one that doesn't want to do this? Like, everyone else is like having fun. They want to be here. And I'm like, you shut the fuck up and skate. Just shut up and skate.
SPEAKER_03:You didn't see the car ride there or the however long at home.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know. I know that feeling though. I had the same experience.
SPEAKER_06:Which one? The positive one?
SPEAKER_04:No, like the it seems like my kid's the only one not having fun here.
SPEAKER_06:It's like, what do you what do you want to do? I want to watch the Zamboni. I'm like, no, that's not in the that's not in the option.
SPEAKER_03:It is fantastic watching the Zamboni, though. I really enjoy it. It's so satisfying. Yeah. I've watched it the other day, and it's just like you watch it go by, the pad smoothing the ice and then the water drying, like freezing. Oh, it's so satisfying. Love it, Zamboni. I do too. I think that might be in my future retirement plan. Become a Zamboni driver.
SPEAKER_06:Bro, they'll be driving themselves by then. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Are you kidding me? They got a robot guy that like mops Walmart floors. That's true.
SPEAKER_05:Can't come up with one that drives around in a circle and floods ice. A roomba on ice?
SPEAKER_03:Come on. The uh the schedules are absolutely insane right now, though. It's crazy. Um, because cross country started at school, my son's basketball started, and my daughter's hockey has all officially started. We knew that this time was coming, and I think I might have mentioned it in a previous episode, but it was still kind of like the calm before the storm, and now it's just we're in it, and it is there's no stopping us now. We've got cross country and basketball on Monday and Wednesday. We've got hockey on Tuesday, Thursday is a night free, Friday, my wife's night out, Saturday is hockey games, and then we're gonna have basketball games on Saturdays and Sundays. Stop listening. It's insane.
SPEAKER_01:I didn't know I was here for his calendar.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but I will tell you this. So, my daughter Aria started hockey. Yes, she is not somebody who likes to struggle with things, she likes to be great at anything she does, and she most things come naturally to her. Hockey is not a sport that just comes naturally to people. Interesting. You have to put the work into hockey, into learning how to skate, how to stick handle. There's so many aspects of it that involve like a learning period. So she is turning eleven very shortly. Um 11, yeah, 11. And this is her first year in actual hockey. We have been skating before, but not ever played actual hockey. She was in the mindset of like, I'm fine, I got this. I know how to skate. Yeah. She went into wrestling. She's like, didn't need to do anything, she just did well.
SPEAKER_06:Just pinning people.
SPEAKER_03:So she thought this was gonna be the same. We had only done like family skates before, and she can skate okay. So we go to they had an evaluation skate. It was absolutely adorable because we got to put all the equipment on finally, and she's going out onto the ice. So I got like a bunch of cute videos. So the evaluation skate, they have all the girls from the hockey league there to see how this how their skill levels are so that they can make even teams. So they line them all up on the one red line and they make them do a drill where they skate down the ice and they have to bend down and touch one knee every line, and they're switching each line.
SPEAKER_06:I don't even think I can do that.
SPEAKER_03:Arya's never done this before, and she's standing in line watching these other girls go who have been playing hockey for a few years, and she looks over at me in the glass, and I just give her those thumbs on, like, have fun! You got this, and you can see the sheer terror in her eyes. Oh no. And she went, she fell, she got back up, another coach came to help her. Next drill, they go back, and you have to when you get hit the blue line, turn around and go backwards till the red line, turn around and go forwards, turn around, go backwards. She's never skated backwards before. So she was terrified again, got there, turned around, didn't really know what to do, just skated forward. So it was so interesting watching my daughter struggle from like the other side of the boards where other sports or other things, like you feel a little bit closer, but in hockey, there is a huge like separation from the parent to the kid. And I purposely didn't want to be on the ice. I didn't want her to be able to come to me. I wanted her to be able to be out there. Leading up to this, I had offered to take her skating. She's like, No, it's okay. I got this. I'm like, okay. Like, I'm not gonna force it. I want you to make the decision. After that day, she was like crying on the ice, like trying so hard to hold herself together. She goes into the locker room, comes back out, we're like, How are you doing? She's like, that was fun, I liked it. I think I can do that again. And I'm like, really? Because from the outside it looked like that was gonna be a I'm never doing this again. But then after she's like, Yeah, but then after she's like, Okay, can we go skating? And now she was the one asking because now she knew kind of like what she needed to be able to do. Where before that she thought all she needed to do is skate. Yeah, she didn't know all of these other skills that she needed to be able to have with it. So it's been fun. I've taken her to the rink a few times, she's learning how to skate backwards, she's been practicing stopping, and everything's starting to click. And it's neat seeing these little achievements every little time you go. Yeah, yeah. So I'm trying to like tell her, I'm like, babe, I know it's hard, I know it's struggling right now, but you've seen an improvement just from skating like two times. Yeah, think of like the whole year and how you're gonna be after that. So it's neat watching her struggle, watching her work through the struggle, but also like remembering myself at her age, starting hockey and struggling the same way and getting it, and how those skills just slowly build and grow on each other. It's been super fun watching her do this. So we've got our first official game coming up on Saturday, I think.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, that is exciting. Did you enjoy both attend the evaluation skate? Yes, and how did both of you feel watching her struggle?
SPEAKER_03:We both are okay with it, like it was hard, but like at the same time kind of funny because it's like you've just like you've sent your kid out there, and I like me like I wanted to prepare her so badly. So, like, I was teaching her hockey rules, we had practiced road hockey a little bit outside, but I'm at the point of parenting where I am no longer going to be the one to push my kid, they have to start learning how to push and want things for themselves. So, same with my son for basketball. I told him he needs new basketball shoes. Like, I'm not buying you new basketball shoes until you do your basketball homework. So it's a rep team that they have to do on non-practice days a hundred shots and 20 minutes of dribbling. Like, that doesn't take yes, it's a hundred shots, it sounds like a lot, but they just want you to practice. Like, you show me that you can practice and do this on your own, I'll buy you new basketball shoes. And the boy hasn't done it. And I'm not going to him and being like, go do this, go do this, go do this. I'm like, if you want this, I'll do it for you, but you gotta show me you want it. And same with my daughter, where it's like, now you know where it's at. I'm available, I'll take you skating. If you want to learn how to skate, if you want to learn how to get better, I will do those things with you. But I'm not gonna be the one saying, let's go, let's go, and have you had that conversation with both of them?
SPEAKER_06:Like have you you've basically given that to them?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, where it's like it's now like it's in your court to self-motivate type thing. It's like I will be your biggest cheerleader and I will be available and I'm here for it.
SPEAKER_04:I love that.
SPEAKER_03:But you need to be the one that comes to me to say, Hey, can we go skating today? Or when is the ice is there ice tomorrow? Can we go skating tomorrow? I'm like, Yeah, let's look it up, sure, let's go. So, like, even on the weekend, my youngest daughter Abby, she wanted to go. And it's like one of those, like you're super tired, you're like, I don't know, it'd be so much nicer to just stay home and not do anything. But I'm like, let's do it. And we went for a little family skate. So it was like, if the kid is bringing it to me, I want to be able to be available to do the thing. But I'm trying, like, with my kids being older, I've just I don't have it in me anymore to be like the the motivator and my son becoming a teenager. It's like you need to learn how to motivate yourself to do something. That's interesting.
SPEAKER_01:I had a very different experience with my evaluation skate. Uh Emmett would have been younger when he went, so he was probably six, maybe seven. Uh, but when he was on the ice for the evaluation skate, he literally like couldn't get up off the ice. It looked like he had been like shivved in like a prison movie. Like it was like he got stabbed in the kidney and he was just kind of like crawling around on the ice. And the coach that was running it was like trying to be nice to him, but he had to like still run the rest of the groups. Right. Christy and I are up in the stands, and I'm like, this is the longest like 45 minutes of my life. Yes. Watching my kid crawl around on the ice. It was horrible. It was probably one of the worst like hours of my life. Right. Where I watched my little boy fail miserably because I'm not a good dad, and I didn't prep him with everything. And I said, no, go out there and have fun. You're gonna be great. And it's not how old was that? That's how it works. Like maybe six, seven.
SPEAKER_03:So that's young. Six, seven. Mark doesn't know. Mark doesn't know.
SPEAKER_01:He doesn't know. He doesn't want to know that's rampant, rampant in school. Stupid kid thing.
SPEAKER_06:Um, that's the dumbest inside joke ever, by the way. You guys just mumble your way through this. It's not an inside joke.
SPEAKER_00:It's very much a worldly thing.
SPEAKER_06:No one, no one knows anything about it.
SPEAKER_00:Campbellford over here. That's that's pretty young.
SPEAKER_01:That's fine. That's the third time I'm like, at some point, we're just all taking a road trip out there. I've heard it a few times and I'm like, where you been, bro?
SPEAKER_00:Don't worry, we've had a campfire at your house, too.
SPEAKER_01:I haven't been to your house. This is unbelievable, though. I'm so happy to see you, and I've never disliked someone, so I'm so torn right now that all of my emotions are.
SPEAKER_06:One of the funniest things, when I moved there, you were the first person to call me and check in and just say, like, hey, I'm just checking in to see. And I'm like, no, people don't call me to check in. They call me for something. There's always something, and then you're like, anyways, see you later. And I was like, wait, what do you want? Where is that thing? Such a good friend.
SPEAKER_01:And on that point, I remember this day because you're like, you know what? It's like that's really nice. I'll let you know. Uh once we get all set up, we'll we'll have uh everyone over. And it's like that. I was like, okay, cool. And then I just waited three years.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, no, and we still have that. It's been two and a half, but yeah, I'm next year. Hopefully, they're working on it.
SPEAKER_01:Um go ahead, Brian. You look like you were gonna say something. He never says something. What are you talking about? That's why I jumped on it. I was like, Brian's benefit is open, quick. Mark, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Drinking coffee. His coffee smells so good, by the way.
SPEAKER_06:I know, I want one so bad. Um, I put Maverick in skating last year, yeah, and it was hell. So, like, I basically was on the ice with him, and we just went on the ice, he cried, we skated around in one circle, and then we skated off the ice. That's all we did.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_06:And this year, when you ask him, he's the best hockey player in the world. Exactly. He's like, No, I'm the best hockey player, I'm gonna play hockey, I'm the best. And I was like, Oh god. Yeah, and we got him in a program where he starts next Wednesday. I don't know why I keep burping. It's probably the bubbly. Sorry, everyone. Um he starts next Wednesday, but he's on the ice twice a week.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:So I'm hoping that like I'm gonna stand my ground and not go on the ice with him. But I'm hoping that because he's on there twice a week, even if he fails miserably, at least he like will kind of I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:He will, and that's something that I wish I had have done too. Where like with my kids, I I always wanted to be the one to teach them, like riding a bike or something like that. Like I didn't do that. I wanted to teach them how to skate, I wanted to teach them how to play hockey, I wanted to be their coaches of their teams, but realizing how much your kids learn from those program things instead of you trying to do it. One, because it's fully scheduled, otherwise, like it was like, okay, when do you want to go skating? Oh, sure. Like it's it's not in the calendar, so it wasn't scheduled, dedicated teaching time kind of thing. And then even when you are there for those family skates, they're like, No, leave me alone, I know what I'm doing. But when it's somebody else and you're not even there, then they're able to listen to them. They're like, Oh, this is an adult now I can listen to. And it's like, what the fuck? I was right here the whole time.
SPEAKER_06:See, I I didn't play hockey growing up, so I have I don't know what to expect or like what that expectation is. And there's like a whole hockey culture, oh yeah, especially up where I live. It's like a community of people that like wow, I don't know if they're really like my kind of people or not. Yeah. But it if you're when you're up there, if you're not in sports, like you're it's feast or famine, basically. Yeah, like you like that's where everyone makes their friends, and it doesn't really matter what school you go to, or everyone is kind of intertwined through sports. Yeah. And so I f I want it, I am prioritizing the kids being in the extracurriculars to be involved in the community. I also want to kind of dip my toe in it. So, like, I put my name down to be a coach, but there's this lady Jen, Coach Jen, who has like her own entourage, has been doing it for 45. Everyone knows who this lady is. Right. And I was just like they're like, uh, and for our U5, uh, Coach Jen will be taking on that with her coaches. And I was like, I wanted to throw my name, and then you could just see the coach Jen just kind of like, who the fuck is who do you think you are?
SPEAKER_03:Exactly.
SPEAKER_06:Get out of here, newcomer.
SPEAKER_03:But he will probably do so much better with her than he would with you there.
SPEAKER_06:That was kind of my thing. Is it like because I'm the person obviously that kind of goes all in? So like I'm talking backyard rank, like all these things. Is it worth it, or am I just going to like setting myself up for curse words?
SPEAKER_03:I will tell you that you're setting yourself up from curse words. I tried the backyard rank, but and I think because we're just that little further south, it doesn't freeze. Where you guys got some solid ice up there where you are, even like Justin being just like our other buddy who's just that little bit further north where they would get that freeze. So you might get a good freeze.
SPEAKER_06:But is it worth like because everybody does like everyone, it's like you got a home gym.
SPEAKER_03:How much do you use a home gym? Well, it's just pads on the floor. It's it's that thing, like if it's so many times we try to make things easier for ourselves by doing it at home, but it ends up making it harder because it it loses the like at least for me. I find it's like going to the gym, I would probably do more often than the weights that collect dust in my garage that now Brent has. I cleaned them up real much because like that's what I find. So, like, I wouldn't personally, unless it's a very self-driven kid that's gonna go skate by themselves, I wouldn't even bother. Going to the rink and finding the time to like go to those public skates will be more useful than the time you waste trying to build a rink. Copy.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, that's that's my own personal opinion. You just save me a weekend. I love that.
SPEAKER_03:It would be a great Instagram video, though. You might be able to get one of those like rink-building companies on board. I can talk you back into it. I doubt it. I can talk people in or out of things depending on how motivated you are. I just I will.
SPEAKER_01:You planted the seed for sure. For sure, there's a reach out happening.
SPEAKER_03:As you rink, I think it's cool.
SPEAKER_06:As a family, we went skating a lot last year.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Because we were trying to encourage Maverick to get on the ice and like to get like to become happy about it. You ask him, he's the best skater on earth. But when it came time to Thursday nights and like getting going to his version of hockey, he's like, I don't want to go, I don't want to do it, I don't want to do it. And then now he has like a little friend from school that's in the hockey that's like he's like kind of there, but not really there. And I'm hoping like the success of soccer, all of these things. I'm hoping that he takes to something. I don't care if it's hockey or whatever. My only thing is if it is hockey, I don't know how involved I should be or how or how kind of reserved I want. Because I am that person very much that's like, I'll be the coach, I'll I'll bake the cookies. What do you want me to do? Like, I'll be that person, but I've never been involved, like I've never played hockey, so I don't know any of the drills, I don't know any of the stuff. So you would learn YouTube, yeah. You would learn to teach you that.
SPEAKER_03:I just think that kids, and it could be different family situations, but I think kids learn better from other people than their parents.
SPEAKER_08:Really?
SPEAKER_03:I think they're more willing to hear what they have to say, and that it comes through in a different way. Yeah, don't coach your kids so my dad, when I played hockey, he was kind of like he was one of the door guys, so he would open another door on the side, like on the bench. Yeah. So he, my dad, like very similar to me. He's like that encouraging person, right? So it's like, yeah, great shift, like opens the door, like go get him, like that kind of guy, where you're not in charge of running a practice, a drill, teaching, you're just there to be the motivator, the the fun guy who's opening the door.
SPEAKER_01:The fun uncle. Yeah, this will be my first year summer or uh winter stepping back from coaching. Because uh, number one, it was just insane between coaching with school and coaching kids. But what we are found is I was chatting with Christy about it, is we just found that my kids were always or our kids were always hearing my voice. So whether it's they come in the morning with me to school, then I teach them at school, then they come home with me, and then I have them at night, and then we go to the no, it's a lot of my voice, right? Like it's I don't blame them at all. Yeah, so I've told, but I'm a really bad spectator. So I drive I drive Christy nuts because I literally coach for a living. Like as a phys ed teacher, I have expectations of what I think it should look like. Yeah, and then when it doesn't look like that, I have a really hard time sitting back on it. So then to help prevent me from being an asshole on the sidelines, I just say I'll do it myself. Now I've overcommitted to things, I do it too much, the kids hear it from me too much. So my goal going into this winter is I'm not going to coach and I'm going to be a better spectator. Yeah. Because, well, and also I think like the kids would really, like you said, they'll benefit from hearing from someone else. Yeah. I I need to remove like the safety blanket of always being there, even though I wouldn't let them like come to me in like a coddling way, um, especially if someone else was talking to them, but just for them to be by themselves with their team with another coach, uh, I think that there's a lot of value in that. So I'm going to attempt to step back. No one believes me yet. The jury is out, but as of now, I am not coaching any activities, and that's hard. I call bullshit.
SPEAKER_03:Hey coach, like just if you need a hand, like I can collect pucks for you and the guy.
SPEAKER_01:Question uh question for you though, because you were saying earlier where Mav thinks that he is like the greatest. Is there a place where we as parents, um, by always being encouraging, we instill like a blind confidence that they shouldn't have in certain things?
SPEAKER_02:Dude, it scares me.
SPEAKER_01:It is like I literally had this conversation with Robin the other day.
SPEAKER_06:It was like he he climbed up. We so like we can't drink our water. So we have like a water tower thing, and he climbed up on top of that, and he's like, I'm gonna jump off. And I was like, no, Brad, you're not. He's like, it's this easy. I'm like, what the fuck have I done? What have I done to this guy? And Robin's like, well, you throw him around and you wrestle, and I was like, Yeah, but that that can't be it, can it? And I don't know, but this kid thinks he's bulletproof, like he's gonna jump off the top of our deck or some shit.
SPEAKER_00:See, I don't know. I was thinking more with like basic.
SPEAKER_01:I was thinking like more like basic ability, not like endangering your job.
SPEAKER_04:I think that's great. I think it's a super positive thing if a kid is like that. Is it?
SPEAKER_01:But what if they're not terrifying? Like, I have a kid that thinks he's gonna play select hockey, but he was the not best on his team at the world.
SPEAKER_04:Exactly. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah, like he's I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like they're not in touch with reality. Yo, perception is the only reality, my boy.
SPEAKER_04:If you're not gonna make the team, and then he'll figure it out that he has to do X, Y, and Z to in order to think as a parent you don't have to. Is it your kid? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, well then yeah, you're not listening to the first No, I black out, I black out.
SPEAKER_03:I think as a parent, like it is our job to encourage them, but like you're also encouraging their growth of where they're at. So, like, yes, they are like my daughter's had two skates now with her with other kids on the ice, and the last one, the last little evaluation, they did a little bit of a scrimmage, and I came off and I was like, Man, you did great out there. I saw you stopping, I saw you moving. She sucked compared to all the other kids. That's not good to see. But when I didn't say that part, but it was like as an outsider, as a spectator, she was not good. She did not have like she's not that's not the point, but that's not the point. Like what she was doing was her new best. Yeah, she's trying to like it's like, yeah, that was amazing. You did so good then.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so what happens if it's academically and your kid thinks they don't need to study because they're going to be fine, but then they continue to not do well. We don't even need academics because we're we need academics for it. No, but like you're like, hey, you know what you're like, so we're always trying to go with the did you do your best? Did you do your best? That's all that counts. But like you don't want them to think they don't need to put in the work because we praise them even when they don't do well.
SPEAKER_03:So, and I don't like we just had like a more adult conversation with my son just after dinner today about basketball. So he has not hit his growth spurt. He's on a rep basketball team. Everybody that went to the tryout made the team, basically.
SPEAKER_06:He must be good.
SPEAKER_03:No, he's not great, and he's shorter yet. He's not great yet, he's not great yet. So, but it's one of those things that we've seen, we've seen the growth when he did it in soccer, how much better he got. Like we know he will improve. Um, but it's that encouraging him to do those extra homework and do the reps. So we had a conversation where it was like I had like a it was really nice because we're having more of an adult conversation where it's like what is stopping you from wanting to do those? Because like basketball is something that you love and it's something that you find fun, but you're choosing to play video games instead of go out and do your reps, or it's getting dark and you're like, Oh, I didn't have any time. It's like, no, you did have time, you're just not seeing it. So we were kind of talking to him about like what are your priorities because he's like life feels really busy to him right now between remember trying to remember everything that he's learning at school, learning everything at practice, trying to play with his friends and still have a social life, and he's just getting exhausted and overwhelmed by all the things. It's like, yes, I totally get that. I feel that in my life, but what are those priorities? And then the things that are the priority can take over, like can become the thing that you want to do ahead of certain things. Um, so that's one of those things that as they get older, you can have those better conversations where hopefully it kind of gets through to them. And I kind of use like other circumstances in his life that I saw him do it. So when he did wrestling, he was working out every night and he would do push-ups and crunches, and he would do it with his friend on a call, and they would like they were both pumping each other up, kind of thing. And I never told him to do that, I never motivated him to do that, and I was telling him, I'm like, dude, when you did this, I saw you doing this, and that was all you. I never told you to do this. You just you wanted to do it to make yourself better for this. So why doesn't that translate to what you're doing now? And he was like, Oh, right. So it's like things start to set in. So I think it's definitely needed to still encourage kids to want to do better or prioritize, but I didn't think they have the ability yet to prioritize. So like schoolwork, it's like I don't fucking care. I don't want to study for that test because it doesn't matter if I get a good mark or not, because my parents love me anyways. If you didn't love them anyways, and there was a big consequence, then you probably study harder for it. So I think that is the balance of like, oh shit, like if But then as a parent you have to weigh what your priorities for your kids are. That's where it gets all like jumbled and messy.
SPEAKER_01:I just love that you went to like endangering yourself. I've been running back. I've been trying to picture this water tower that he jumped.
SPEAKER_06:What the fuck are you talking about?
SPEAKER_01:Maver jumped. Bro, you're all over the place. He really does forget what it's happening to me right away. I was climbing a tower. That was 20 minutes ago.
SPEAKER_06:What I was gonna say is that I really admire I really admire your conversation skills with your kids. It's something no no no no no no. Well at least how you project it.
SPEAKER_00:At least I punched a hole in the wall.
SPEAKER_06:Oh let's dig into that. Was it recent?
SPEAKER_03:It was a couple weeks ago. So that's what I mean. Like there's like 40, bro. There are Zach Moore's time. Shut up for a second.
SPEAKER_06:Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Just shut up for a second.
SPEAKER_04:There it is.
SPEAKER_06:When at 40 years old.
SPEAKER_08:39.
SPEAKER_07:Do you feel like more of an idiot when you punch your hole, like you put your fist in a wall, then you pull it out, and realize that that you own that wall that you just damaged. Or haven't patched it yet when you're there. It's a reminder. Cutting and patching the hole. You put it in the whole the wall that you own. My son helped me patch it because he helped cause it.
SPEAKER_01:Oh we didn't hear that. No, I haven't had really good conversations with his kids, though.
SPEAKER_06:But that's like there are two sides to it. No, sure, but the way that you sell it is beautiful because it does make me think like I really need to listen to my kids more when they're telling me stuff and and prioritize the things that are important to them at that point. Yeah. Because in the moment, like for example, today, my daughter is the most exhausted. She's sick, she's you know, whatever, and she just wanted love. And I've got work to do, Robin has work to do, my wife, and we're like kind of all over the place, and she's yelling for us. She just wanted companionship. Right. And I was so bored with this conversation, I wanted nothing to do with it. And I'm like, mm-hmm, yeah, that's crazy. You're okay, you're good. Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh, you're so oh, you're the best daughter ever. But she's literally like trying to tell me about some stupid K-pop demon hunter thing, and I'm like, I don't give a fuck about this. But to her, it's so important. And her swimming and all the like I don't even know her swimming instructor's name.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_06:Do you know what I'm saying? But it's like, you know, yeah, it's it's just kind of paying attention to those things that are important to them and prioritizing them for yourself. So, anyways, I just wanted to commend you for it.
SPEAKER_03:One thing that I heard recently that kind of stuck with me was that as parents, we're meant to be shepherds, not engineers. And I find that Where'd you hear that? Uh I don't know, somebody said it somewhere.
SPEAKER_06:Sounds like a bumper sticker or something. But say it again.
SPEAKER_03:Parents are meant to be No, no, no.
SPEAKER_06:Say like Dave, don't say it like you're reading it off of something. Say it, say it better.
SPEAKER_03:Parents are meant to be shepherds, not engineers.
SPEAKER_06:Shepherds, not engineers. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So I find myself sometimes trying to engineer my kid into becoming a specific version of themselves or who I think they should be guiding them instead of just supporting and guiding them through things. And like a shepherd still is going to correct or direct the sheep into certain areas, but it's not trying to create like build them into something.
SPEAKER_06:See, it's funny because I feel like I try to engineer them with my wife's guidance because I'll say something, and she's like, No, what are you doing? What you can what are you doing? And I'm like, I mean is this what we agreed on how we were gonna do this? Nope. Do you listen to your mother? You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01:It's like very much one of those. Anyways, yeah, fantastic segue where I was wondering how much do we like shepherd our children towards activities versus thinking what we know best. So the reason I bring this up, so Everly decided she was not going to play hockey again. She played hockey last year, she had a what we would have thought was an awesome year. She had great coaches, great teammates, loved everything, had a great year. Find the mic, bro. She is.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, and you need to speak. We're on a podcast, you have to speak into the mic, not at Dave. Take it straight straight.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not used to being beside me.
SPEAKER_01:If I look at Brian, am I okay? Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_00:Look right at him.
SPEAKER_01:Then if he wants to speak, I can't.
SPEAKER_07:Like we're here too, and you're just cocky over here having a conversation with Dave.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, she doesn't want to play hockey. I want Joey back. She had a great, she had a great year, but doesn't want to do it anymore.
SPEAKER_01:She had a wonderful year. Hold on, who how old is she? So this is Everly. Oh, that right, we're not doing like the Murphy, Joey's kid that we've been doing for a long time. Where you every time, every time Joey says Murphy, you say who's Murphy?
SPEAKER_07:Because there could be a new listener. No, it's to be listeners for the top five years. Yes, and the Murphy, and I'm a dog. Murphy could be a puppy and anything. His name's Murphy and Cooper. Those could be puppies for crying out loud. That's fair.
SPEAKER_01:That's fair.
SPEAKER_07:This guy took his dog away from his daughter as a punishment. And he's over here Everly.
SPEAKER_06:Who the fuck is Everly? Anyways, I'm sure she's lovely, but Everly and my daughter, she's eight years old. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Had a wonderful hockey experience. But then uh we have a neighbor who she really looks up to who's a really good gymnast, and so she wants to go into gymnastics. And so we're like, well, here's the deal. If you want to do gymnastics, it's your choice, you can do gymnastics. However, we think you had a really great time playing hockey. We really enjoyed you playing hockey. What would you like to do? So she chose gymnastics. So now she's in gymnastics, she's done a few sessions, she says she likes it. The program is good, but she spends all of her time just going basically center to center, right? You do chin-ups here, sit-ups here, jump on the vault here, whatever, and you just keep going around. But there's no team, there's no really making close friends, there's no learning to work together, there's none of that. So we've been running back through our head like once she sees the boys start their hockey season and she's gonna have to tag along to the team lunches and to see all of the fun that they had, is she going to regret it? And we've been asking ourselves should we have been more engineering in basically telling her to play hockey because we know she's going to have a good time, or should we be letting her choose and then we just kind of have to go along with it, even though we think we know what is best?
SPEAKER_04:She'll figure it out, no? Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think she will.
SPEAKER_04:Why? She'll just say, Oh, I really miss hockey and I want to play next year. I don't think so. I don't think so.
SPEAKER_03:But then if she but then if she likes gymnastics, then she's enjoying what she's doing with gymnastics. Exactly. What's wrong with that?
SPEAKER_06:There's misery in there somewhere. I don't know where it is.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, there's definitely misery in the in between.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, the parents, the parents that are having to watch her when we're like, you had such a wonderful time. Anyways, what I'm saying is is like we as parents always want to know what's best for our kids. Yeah. And yes, you're right, she's going to figure it out at some point, but this ends in December. And then what does she want to start up in January? Well, it's too late, hockey's out. Right. So now are we into gymnastics again?
SPEAKER_06:That's where I think it becomes a non-negotiable. Is it's it it ends up like for us, swimming lessons are a non-negotiable, but you have to have an extracurricular. So my kids are in swimming lessons, and my daughter has done gymnastics, she's done ballet, she's done, she won't play soccer, but she and she doesn't want to play sports, whatever the other ice sport is there. So she's in swimming lessons twice a week because it's it's it's on her. We could force her into doing something else, but it's like this runs until whatever, and then after this, what are you gonna do? So it's kind of like it is kind of coaching her into that, but gymnastic ends in in December, then what are you gonna do? Right because everyone else is gonna be doing this thing, it's a non-negotiable, you have to have some sort of thing.
SPEAKER_04:We don't have to have that in our house. No, well, yeah, just that we do it differently. Like, I I'm not gonna force my kid to there's no non-negotiables other than swimming lessons, obviously, is like a safety thing. Yeah, that you have to have, but I'd not I don't have the energy, and my wife doesn't have the energy to like yeah, for not force, but like strongly push our kids towards certain things. It's like uh especially our oldest, it is not worth the fight. It's like it's he he's very much like he'll decide when he's ready for something, and he always does. It's like it's always in his time. It's like but it's in terms of those types of things, it's totally fine. I have no problem now that we've seen that eventually he comes around to it on his own time, uh we're fine waiting for it. I think with our youngest son, it'll be more like he'll be more willing to just jump into whatever we kind of throw at him. But uh I think it so it's for us, it's just like very child dependent. Like each child is very different, so we'll just play it differently. So it's not like we don't have like a set of family rules in terms of extracurriculars.
SPEAKER_03:I think because there's also so much at school that they're doing, like that's where it's like it can be too much sometimes, like all of the different things that they have going on, and that's what my son was kind of getting at. And we had this conversation before we signed him up for the basketball because it was like, are you sure? Like, do you understand what you're signing up for? Yes, I want to do it. So now we're in it, right? But there is that level of like you said, like when kids get home from school, they're fucking exhausted, they're wiped, they've had like a busy day with friends and learning and all the things. They get home, they're exhausted, they're little shits, they're not listening, and then trying to get them out to do a sport as well. On top of that, sometimes when they're young, like that can be a hard process if the kid doesn't want to.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, now I feel like a bad parent.
SPEAKER_03:No, it's it's all the time. Everybody has different dynamics. But one thing that I was curious is like, do you want her to play hockey, or do you want them to be in a thing because you missed not doing that as a kid, or you wish your parents had have forced you to do something so that you have the skill as an adult that you don't have that you wish you had?
SPEAKER_01:Or uh well, from Christy's standpoint, she played on like competitive ringet her whole life. So she she really wanted her to play ringette. Ringette didn't work out. Um, but I think it's more that we just saw her excel in all aspects of hockey last year that we wanted her to continue that way. Like we're she's not the next prodigy, but she had such a good experience with everything that came with it that we just wanted to see her continue to build, right? Like she had friends that came to her birthday party, she still wants to meet up with them. And what we're seeing at gymnastics is it's just a very like individual focused activity, and it's it's still developmental, but it's super boring to watch. Yeah, so then there's this other whole.
SPEAKER_03:So that's a you probably so how much do I mean kids' hockey isn't boring to watch, they're so struggle out there, it's hard, it's painful.
SPEAKER_01:Have you been to gymnastics?
SPEAKER_00:I have you get to have a coffee and you get to look at your phone when the kid can't even see you.
SPEAKER_06:You can't no, you can't look at your phone when you're watching kids.
SPEAKER_03:No, but the kid can't see you at gymnastics, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:They can, they're always watching. And and I replaced the the upstairs viewing area, no food or drinks. It's terrible. So you can't be on your phone, no food or drinks. It's like prison.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, so that's why you don't like it.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. Bring it in this book, bro. No, because you always have to be watching, you've got to be eyes on. Nah. Because then they look up and wave at you, and you're just yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Maybe she doesn't need you to be watching. She what you get to see her all the time.
SPEAKER_01:No, because she says, Did you see that daddy?
SPEAKER_03:Then you say, Yeah, I saw it. It was great. You did awesome. You can't lie. Yes, you can. We lie to our kids all the time.
SPEAKER_01:Come on, Johnny Hole Puncher over here living a life of lives. Johnny Holepuncher.
SPEAKER_06:Um fuck, I lost it.
SPEAKER_04:It is tricky though. Like, I uh a friend of ours has like three of his kids in hockey and he coaches them all, and he like talks about how great it is. And so I do have like a little bit of guilt when I hear those stories because it's like maybe it is me just not doing but like honestly, my kids I think their characteristics are just different than his kids, because my kids, it would be such a shit show to try and make that happen.
SPEAKER_03:I think one of the things I learned with my kids, especially my oldest son, my only son, is like you so much just assume that their life is going to mimic yours, or they're going to want to do the same things that you do and be the same person that you are. Like you're you're almost recreating your childhood through your kid. And they if they aren't like you, then they will push against that. Like, my son is playing all of the sports that I never played growing up. So, like, even going to basketball, like, yeah, I shot around with my friends, but I never played basketball at all. I don't know plays positions or anything. Yeah, so to me, it's like I'm watching these practices and I'm like, I'm learning. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go with the boys and now I know what I'm doing out there. But like it it's he picked all the things that I know nothing about, and I don't know if that was him like just doing what he wanted to, or if it was him being like, dad's a hockey guy, fuck that, I'm gonna do this. Like, I don't want to be like dad or not. Like, I don't know. Kids will humble you.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, see, I think I like thinking about why I want him in this, it I just feel like there is so much value with team sports. Yeah, yeah. They teach you so many different things that you carry through life, you make so many connections, you have so many uh opportunities that are like follow you outside of the rink, and you get to have those conversations like in the car and all of those things which I never experienced, and I really want to experience with my kids, or at least I want them for them. And I think that's a big reason why we push so hard to like have the kids involved in the extracurriculars, is because A we really enjoy the the like celebrating them. Like we're I look at it as um if I'm taking my daughter to her swimming, it's like 20 minutes there, 20 minutes back, and it's just time that we get to have uh conversation-wise or whatever. And then I get to watch her pardon me, we have like a rule where we don't have phones when we're like the kids' extracurriculars. And I'm not gonna lie, like because it's in like a recreational thing, I was like, Oh, maybe I'll join the gym and then I'll go work out while they're doing their thing. And that's just kind of that ADHD of like checking two boxes at once, kind of thing. And Robin is like, No, you need to be there to like and like fully engage and watch. And I was like, Okay, mom, like thanks a lot. It is the most beautiful thing that I I have seen is watching my kid excel in swimming in the last year. It's been amazing, and it like dance is nothing, like dance, you drop them off, you go sit in your car, you do and scroll for your half an hour, you go back, pick them up, and then you go to a recital that everybody hates anyways. But this like this is completely different. So the one-off thing that you're saying with gymnastics, you're gonna hate it, you're gonna suck, it's gonna be it's not about you. They're learning the fundamentals, but you're gonna go to watch one of her her competitions or one of her things, rallies, whatever you want to call them at the end of the year, and you're gonna be like, holy smokes, this kid has been putting in the work while I haven't been paying attention, and it's like it's such a beautiful thing to see. So selfishly, I just want them to get the all that stuff to get off the iPads, to get off the snacks, to not be bored and just get out there. And if we have to sacrifice whatever we have to sacrifice to make that happen, then I'm I'm willing to do that.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I I think it's good to let kids learn what they like and don't like too, right? Like I think with the hockey, maybe she does end up missing it, maybe she doesn't. Then it's like I don't think you've done something right or wrong as a parent. I noticed I saw an ad for masterclass, you know, the website or whatever, you can have professionals talk about things. Yeah, they're doing a parenting one. Like, can there be a master class on parenting?
SPEAKER_06:Who does it?
SPEAKER_03:Do we have Tony Robbins? Joey can imagine. I think they have a few different therapists. Um, I'm not sure if they're family therapists or child therapists or a mixture of them all.
SPEAKER_04:I guess on some kinds of parenting that people try and stick to.
SPEAKER_03:But that's what I'm wondering. Because like, if it's a master class, are they teaching just one direct way? And how does it vary to kids and to everything? But that it's there is enough of a need for it because as parents, we worry so much of are we doing things right or are we fucking up our kids? Like, that is so in our heads as opposed to just experiencing life and going through it.
SPEAKER_01:Like, how much do you feel like that's gonna cause way more like hurt than help? I feel like I'm gonna listen to that and feel like a brutal person.
SPEAKER_06:I saw I saw something where it was like millennials or whatever we're we are considered are the first generation that they're like breaking the cycle, and we're like we're distancing ourselves because we didn't have help from our parents, and then the the Gen X or the boomers are like, well, the boomers are the only generation that are like hated by their parents and their kids. I think with us, it's just like we're just thriving for like the to be validated that we're like right, we're just and that's just somebody like trying to suck$49.99 a month out of somebody to like prey on their things, and they're not like giving out any sort of master. There's no master class. Brian's got three different, very different kids.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, how are you gonna exactly take three different master classes for all of them?
SPEAKER_03:How to how to parent this type personality or this type of kid?
SPEAKER_04:No way. If you want to feel guilty about being a parent, uh just go on social media, you know, you don't need to pay for it.
SPEAKER_06:It's just it's crazy because it's like my my I have two kids and they're a whole they could not be further away from from each other. And I'm like, there's no way if we had because in your my mind, I'm like, there's one and there's two, there's a yin and there's a yang. Right. Like, imagine if we had three. Yeah, where the fuck would the bingo?
SPEAKER_03:We just we just got the first one back again in the third, so one and three are very similar personalities, and then two is just so she's on cruise control, just so much easier.
SPEAKER_06:Oh my god, it's like I just can't win.
SPEAKER_03:Like, all I want is a win. You cannot win as a parent. No, there's no winning. You just gotta take a win, claim something as a victory.
SPEAKER_04:My win is like a bowl of ice cream at the end of the day. Oh, that's my win. What's a bowl of cereal?
SPEAKER_03:That's that's about what my win gets me. I was pretty pissed at my kid the other day. He said he doesn't like cinnamon toast crunch. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? One of the best cereals. That is when I questioned myself as a parent.
SPEAKER_01:Is that when you punch the hole in the wall?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, but no, like cinnamon toast crunch sucks. But why did you punch so good? The milk after is the bigger.
SPEAKER_07:Bro, it turns the milk all fucking cinnamon oh my gosh. I would freeze it and eat this ice cream.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I should freeze it after any of this ice cream.
SPEAKER_06:I used to make my own ice cream. Can you tell me? Can you please tell me why or how? Like what caused you as a 40-year-old man with gray hair in your beard to punch a hole in the wall that you own.
SPEAKER_03:It was a very stressful morning. It was in the morning. It was the morning. It was a getting ready for school. What does joy do? So, first, one kid was having a bit of a meltdown or tantrum.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:And we were trying to deal with that. So I think it was our youngest who was having a bit of a situation. So my wife was dealing with that. We're working with her, trying to get everybody out the door. Then middle child is like, we're gonna be late. We're like, yeah, we realize we're trying to work through that. Then she starts having an episode about being late because she's in a portable, it's further away. If she's late, she has to go up to the office to check in and then come back down. So she starts freaking out about being late, and she's pissed at the other kids are making her late. Then the third kid jumped in. So we had diffused one bomb, diffused a second bomb. As a parent, my cup is like starting to get to that brim of like, I don't know how many more bombs I can put out right now. Um, and then the other one was like, Oh, I I know what I should do right now. I should be the next problem. And they caused the next problem. Is that the adult one? It was the older one, and I were trying to rush out the door so that we can get them on time, so that my uh one daughter can be happy with being there on time. And he was having a bit of a meltdown. Wait, hold on.
SPEAKER_06:Is there a bus situation or like how no?
SPEAKER_03:This is driving them to school. You all my wife drives them in the van to the school, drops them off at the school.
SPEAKER_06:So you just need them out of the house, and then you get out of the house.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly. I'm trying so hard just to be a team player here to get these kids into the van and slam it shut so that I can be done. Okay. Um, son needed socks, run upstairs, grab him socks, bring them down, give him the socks, and he's on the ground, like crying, like, ah, I don't want to. And I'm like, going to put socks on my 12-year-old son. Oh, and then he started like, no, and it was like my brain had a moment of like it was like a ch like a kindergarten tantrum with your older kid who shouldn't be having these types of things anymore. And my body just went like too tense and too overloaded, and we were in our small little mud room, and I just turned and punched the whole family saw it. They no, just my son. The others and my wife were in the other room. What did your son say? He was a little scared, he was very scared. Oh, he uh ran up to his room crying, um, afraid of daddy, and likely rightly so.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um, I had the wherewithal to punch uh because I saw the light switch, and being a contractor, I knew that there was a stud on one side and no stud. So got clean in between the studs, so nothing hurt. No broken hands. Um that came through in clutch for me there. Uh but yeah, you feel like a complete idiot the second you do it, and you're like, why? But like I literally I got to the point where I couldn't control my emotion. Like I should have stepped out of the room, like we should have just put a whole time out on the thing. We've learned now if something's going down, one of us is taking the kid that's ready to school, and then the other one can come back and get the other ones ready because we have the ability to do that with our work schedules and stuff like that. So it was just it was a heated moment. Things are building and building and building, and uh it's at the front door, like you have to walk by this is mud room, so it's in a very dirty, closed room, so nobody it's got other holes from construction that I haven't patched either. So no, no damage, well, damage done to a room that already had damage done to it, and trauma to a 12-year-old. Yeah, but we had a good conversation, we had a good conversation about it afterwards, though, and like I apologized and let him know that like I'm the adult and I should be able to control my emotions.
SPEAKER_07:I'm the asshole.
SPEAKER_03:Well, and I was the asshole there, um, but also that we need him to do what we need to do to get out of the house in the morning and get things rolling smoothly. Um, but yeah, I had that conversation of like letting him know that like this isn't like I'm not proud of this, and like which like you get to have that conversation of like, yeah, I'm not perfect, like I fucked up there. That was not good. I need to be able to control that anger and walk away from that situation. Um, but yeah, you know what happens to the best of us, right? But that's to say that like I don't know, parenting is like all these crazy sways because you have these good moments and these deep conversations with them where you feel like you're growing and learning, and then you have these moments where the kids are still kids and you want them to be adults, and they're just not.
SPEAKER_06:I was so pissed off at my kids. So um Saturday was Mav's birthday.
SPEAKER_03:Oh happy birthday.
SPEAKER_06:Thank you. And um we had uh zoo to you, so like the animals came into our house. It's great when your wife is like a neat freak and you have all these fucking exotic armadillo shitting on your carpet. Like the fucking she's allergic to bunnies, I swear to god. Like pet the bunny and just fucking fur like everywhere. And all I'm looking at is just at her, and I'm like, might as well have poutine for dinner here because this isn't gonna end very well uh for you. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I was just like, oh man, it was anyways. So we did lots of cleaning before people came, lots of cleaning after people came, and then I brought the kids fishing, so it was like Mavs Day. I'm like, what do you want to do? We want to go fishing. So my daughter's like, I want to come too. And in my head, I'm like, fuck. Right. Because she doesn't want to come, she like she just doesn't want to miss out, but she doesn't want to be there.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you but you know it's gonna ruin the dynamic that you guys have when you're fishing.
SPEAKER_06:So I'm just like, and we like we've all summer long, but it's like it's a weird thing. He's just turned four, and we're like, he's an old ass man. It's like he knows when we're down there, don't talk about anything. I think I got one, dad. Okay, you're gonna set that up. And we have a system, it's like he's catches a fish, I'll get the net. You're vibing. Both we're on the same wavelength, right? Yeah, and she just throws the whole wrench in the plants. So I'm like, get a snack, get water, and bring a sweater because it's cold down there. She's like, Dad, it's like 40 degrees outside. It's cold by the water. There's trees, you're in the shade, there's zero sun. Just bring a sweater, sit on it. I don't care. Bring one. She doesn't. So we go. I drove because I didn't want to carry everyone's shit. How far is it? It's not far. It's like two lots away, but I still didn't want to carry it. Yeah. So I I I drive down and we're parked. It's like down a hill. So I'm like, I'm parked at the literally, you can see it from where my the my driveway. Not far. I brought the drone because I thought it'd be kind of cute because my that day. So god, I'm a backstory here. So Maverick, I got a little video of him, and he's got he's in, he's got this little camera, and he's like, Welcome to the Maverick Boy YouTube channel. Uh, if you're into hunting and fishing and eating good food and picking on your sister, subscribe, hit the subscribe button, and then he like does these like super cute intros. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna get some drone footage of him fishing. And he has this little we have a assault gun for the flies. Yep. So he and like get little videos of him doing that and kind of make him a little thing, anyways. So I bring the drone. Now I've got fishing gear everywhere. I've got Maverick yelling at me because there's weeds and he wants his frog lure on the thing because he's getting snagged. And I was like, I need top water, buddy. That's what he's seeing.
SPEAKER_07:That's what he's saying, and I'm like, how do you know this shit?
SPEAKER_01:He's like, doorboys or whatever that's true.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, he goes, Dud, I'm bouncing on these rocks and it's messing up my hooks.
SPEAKER_06:And I was like, There's no way, dude. He's like, I promise you, and I was like, There's no way. He's like, I need a frog, I need a frog, and I was like, What do you need a frog for? Like, what am I doing this? Anyway, so I didn't think, and then Aubrey's like, I'm bored, and I was like, I don't give a fuck, and then she's like, I'm cold, and I was like, I don't care. I told you to bring a sweater, yeah, absolutely not. So she's putting her arms in her thing now, and she's just Like, kind of sit there. She's cheatering now and she's doing all the things. I'm like, oh my god, this is not fun. This isn't this is the opposite of fun. Anyways, I get the thing set up, I'm having a thing, and then I'm looking at her, and she's just like she's freezing. So I'm like, okay, I have a sweater in the car up there, so I'll go up and I'll get it. And I'm like, no, I can't leave the kids by the water and go up because it's it's out of sight, right? So I'm like, we're gonna go up and grab the sweater, but we're coming back down. And she's like, Yep, no problem. So I leave the drone, my phone, all the fishing stuff, everything there. I get to the top of the hill, and Aubrey sees poison ivy. Fucking loses her mind over three leaves on the ground that and she's like river dance. At my wedding, she was fucking all in bathing in it.
SPEAKER_04:She was, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And oh my gosh, it was so much fun at the wedding.
SPEAKER_00:I'm so throwing that in there, thank you.
SPEAKER_06:Um, anyways, we get up to the thing, and she's like, she's like, Dad, I really want to go home. And I was like, I don't, for whatever reason, I was just super anxious because my phone and everything's down by the water, and I was like, I don't want I can't drive you home. Like, my phone's down there, the thing's down there. And then Maverick's like, I don't want to fish anymore. And I was like, You fuck see what you've done? He fish for hours and you just ruined this. So I was so pissed. I was like, get in the fucking car, and I said this to I was like, get in the fucking car, and I'm going home. And then Maverick goes, Dad just said fucking, and I'm like, fucking oh. Get in the car, we drive home. I drop him off on the driveway. Mav singing the dad just said fucking song all the way up to the thing, and I just peel out and I go down. So now I have the drone out there. I'm like trying to pack up all that stuff. He's got fucking frog shit everywhere, like the lures and stuff, they're all over the place. So I'm like trying to pack up all that stuff on the thing. I come bring go back up of the hill, and then I get in, and Robin's like, what happened? Like, what was what was going on? So I explain the situation. She's kind of giggling to herself, laughing. And then Mav's like, Dad, what the heck took you so long? You were down there for hours. And I was like, I am never doing you another favor again. And then we went and bought him hockey equipment.
SPEAKER_01:But you gave her the chance, though. You still gave her the chance, Audrey, to come uh her name's Aubrey, yes. Aubrey. Sorry, forgive me. That's okay. That's okay. Yeah, I don't I've never met her. It's okay. Um, no, but you gave her the chance. Like, I we've been in a very similar situation where my oldest really likes fishing. And I was listening to one of the podcasts a few weeks ago, and when you were talking about fishing with Mav, I totally related and it was awesome, and it's a really great time. So when someone else is going to come in the boat that unfortunately you know is going to ruin the dynamic, yeah, you at least kind of gave it the college try. Where I've actually just told you the kids straight up, like, no, it's just it's not gonna, it's not gonna work out.
SPEAKER_06:So I wanted to do that, but I'm also like I'm also kind of battling with myself because she's at the age where she does like she loves her friends, so anytime she wants to spend time, I'm like, I'm trying to take it. Yeah, so trying to take it as much as I can. Yeah, but that it was that battle was there, and Robin was even like Robin knew she's like, Why don't you just stay home? Like, we'll do our nails, we'll do the thing. She's like, No, I want to go. And I was like, I'm not gonna push her away, right? Like, I'm like, you're we're good. I brought her rod. Fuck, she cast, she's like, I was like, it's great down there. There's no like the trees or anything, you don't have to worry about the thing. She's like, Dad, I'm in a tree. This sucks.
SPEAKER_04:I think it's always good. Well, just from my experience, uh, what I saw with my sister growing up is that she was often not included in those things, and she still talks about it to this day. About how like it bothered her, bothers her that she wasn't included in like going golfing or going fishing. Well, yeah, some of those things growing up, just because I was the girl, I couldn't be included in these things, and like my wife as well.
SPEAKER_03:She has that same feeling, yeah. So it's better safe than sorry.
SPEAKER_01:Just just to free up some of my guilt, it was my other son Preston that I didn't want in the boat.
SPEAKER_04:Well, yeah, whatever.
SPEAKER_06:Everyone will make a better run than he will. No, it's just the you just don't want a buzzkill there. Like, I don't care who it is. Like, but like I went fishing with my brother and my my son. We were on the boat, we were out there for like three, four hours. Like that's amazing. It was awesome. So good. Mav was like, Can I pee off the side of the boat? I'm like, but like we can go back. He's like, No, I don't want to go. I want to pee off the side of the boat. I'm like, I don't see anything wrong with that, Brad. Do you? And he's like, No. So we fucking peed off the side of the boat, and we were out there just fishing away. Like it was it was awesome. But if you go out with somebody and they're just like having a bad time or they're not there for the same thing, you're just like same with anything.
SPEAKER_03:We go golfing with the wrong person who just doesn't have the right vibes, it just ruins that, too. But you know what doesn't get ruined? Regal Ideas, because it is the most innovative railing on the market. Oh, yeah, Regal Ideas never leaves. We did a nice giveaway. Uh, I believe I announced that last week that Jeff Ryan and Amanda did Mayors won the Regal Packages. So um we're super excited. Amanda sent me her design, so we are working on uh Regal Ideas package for I believe she chose textured black. Oh, I recommended some glass because it's on a lake property with a nice view. Uh so yeah, regal ideas that doesn't disappoint, but our kids definitely do disappoint us.
SPEAKER_04:And we disappoint our kids all the time. Good say all the time.
SPEAKER_08:It's a oh I do think that might be in my future retirement plan.
SPEAKER_03:Become a Zimbone driver.
SPEAKER_06:Bro, they'll be driving themselves by then. Are you kidding me? Yeah, you kidding me? They got a robot guy that like mops Walmart floors can't come up with one that drives around in a circle and floods ice?
SPEAKER_05:A roomba, a roomba on ice? Come on.