Where Everyday Mess Becomes A Masterclass In Modern Fatherhood

A kitchen confession about moldy Tupperware turns into a surprisingly tender map of modern fatherhood. We open with the small stuff—waffle settings, pizza box etiquette, hot dog head tilts, and why no one should make eye contact mid-bite—and find the values hidden inside the jokes: boundaries, bandwidth, and the daily tradeoffs that keep a home moving. Then we head outside, from a back-friendly sock trick to a smoky, brined turkey win that earns a new household badge of honor, fueled by neighbor wisdom and internet recipes.

The heart of the story lives on the court. One of us prepped a son for bench minutes with honesty and care, absorbed the sting of the first game, and watched him light up in the next—first basket, better positioning, and an open mind for coaching. Later that night came a second breakthrough: stepping into a voice chat to call out friend-group chirps that had crossed into bullying. Risky? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. The hug and the trust that followed say everything about when to let kids figure it out and when to show up, loud and clear.

We don’t skip the hard parts. Triggers around lying, tone that lands too sharp, and the worry of a strong-willed peer rubbing off on your kid—they’re all here. So are the wins that knit a family together: sibling seat negotiations, Halloween costume chaos, and a home team run that becomes a core memory. It’s messy, funny, and real, the way parenting actually feels at 8 p.m. on a Tuesday. If this sounds like your house, pull up a chair. Subscribe, share this with a dad who needs a laugh and a lift, and leave a review to help more parents find the show.

Transcript

Cold Open: Leftovers And Tupperware

SPEAKER_12 0:00

I might not be rich. I'm not a wealthy human, but I'm wealthy enough to throw away dirty Tupperware. If it has been sitting in the fridge with leftovers for too long, and you know that that is a moldy mess. I would never throw that in. It is going to be straight. I am not cracking the seal on that one bit. There is no way you were gonna get that clean enough to put more food back in. Vinegar, bro. Garbage.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 0:26

Because it is the it is the dad in you from your parents that is like, oh yeah, I gotta keep those leftovers. Let's pack those away. And then you know you don't want the leftovers.

SPEAKER_09 0:36

I'm out now. I'm not doing that anymore.

SPEAKER_12 0:39

You're no leftovers. Just get rid of it.

SPEAKER_09 0:41

Unless, like, for real, it's like uh, I'm not gonna eat that. It is like being birthed for the second time, I'm telling you right now.

SPEAKER_10 0:48

Because it is, it is that you gotta have a fridge full of moldy ass.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

I eat all our leftovers. You're a big leftover guy? I'm a carp. Yeah.

Back After A Break

SPEAKER_01 0:59

If you got some time to relax your man, come on.

SPEAKER_12 1:04

The real dad podcast. Welcome to the real dad podcast. I'm Dave. I'm Joey. I'm Mark. What the hell happened there?

SPEAKER_05 1:15

What happened? Mark's still going through humanity. It couldn't have happened at a worse time. Oh my god, I've got kids, I promise. Oh, I'll try it again.

SPEAKER_10 1:29

I'm Mark. No, it didn't work.

SPEAKER_12 1:31

Didn't work.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

And I'm Brian, and uh I'm ready to dad.

SPEAKER_12 1:35

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Uh, first off, to all of our amazing, dedicated listeners, a big apology for not giving you an episode the past little while. Life has been busy, and the real part of the Real Dad podcast is why we haven't been able to record because we have been putting family first. There has been a lot of sports happening in our lives. No, that's a funny follow-up. It could either be done.

SPEAKER_09 2:06

That didn't age very well, or it could be like doesn't matter, it's still gonna age well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 2:11

Work has been crazy, family life has been crazy, sicknesses. There's just been a lot going on in all of our lives that haven't allowed us to get together into the booth. But we are here today. Yeah. And I guys, I gotta say, it feels so good to hear my voice again through uh these headphones. I forgot the ego trip this puts me on, and it feels so good. Sound good.

SPEAKER_07 2:36

We had a four-man, the four of us. It's been a it's been a minute. It's been a while. Right, because Brent was here. And there's Thanksgiving. And then Brent was in Mark's seat. Brent's just been seats. It's been a while. It's been a while.

SPEAKER_12 2:48

My tooth over there.

SPEAKER_07 2:51

I almost knocked my tooth out with my bike.

SPEAKER_12 2:54

We are out of province boats. It feels good to be back together. I've got three things that I just want to go over.

SPEAKER_09 3:03

I have a fun fact as well.

SPEAKER_12 3:05

Oh, you do have fun facts? I don't have a fun fact. I hope these bring bring like uh fun facts, maybe. No, they're not fun facts. Anyways.

SPEAKER_08 3:13

What?

Kids’ Breakfast Wars: Waffle Settings

SPEAKER_12 3:14

I just have three things that I wanted to go over with you guys. How offside are they? Uh they're not offside, okay.

SPEAKER_08 3:18

Okay, 13.

SPEAKER_12 3:19

Um, first one, these are just notes that I've taken over the time we've been away from each other that I'm like, I need to write this down to tell the guys. Okay, you've taken one of a person. I don't think about you guys like that at all. But when something happens and I'm just like, I wonder what the guys would think. I love it. The first one, the first one just send us in the group chat. It's different and you guys it has to be. What verses are you anyway? What do you think about? Both of them two of these things are like physical things that I need to know and see your your reaction to, though. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_09 3:52

Um, if you went to erection. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

More of a twist than a curve. A twist? What a twist. Interesting.

SPEAKER_05 4:10

That might be a problem.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Split my jeans.

SPEAKER_09 4:14

Talking of erection. Anyways, go ahead.

SPEAKER_12 4:17

So uh this was just a funny thing that happened the other day. Uh put in breakfast, so we're getting ready in the morning for school. Put in a couple echo waffles into the toaster for my son.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_12 4:27

Click them down. He comes into the kitchen getting ready to get them out, and he's waiting and waiting, and he looks at the toaster and he's like, Dad, what the heck? It's on three! Why is it on three?

SPEAKER_02 4:37

These are gonna be ruined, and like pushes the eject button.

SPEAKER_11 4:44

What do you mean? You just click it again and go for another three. No.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

He was adamantly yelling at me, and I was like, oh my gosh, this makes me miss the boy so much.

SPEAKER_09 4:53

Oh, that is a boy that knows what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_12 4:55

Slevel on the egos. He does not want his ego waffles crispy.

SPEAKER_09 4:59

No, my warm enough to melt the butter, but not you gotta get a chew in there. No punch.

SPEAKER_04 5:06

My son's a little shit because he's like, the last time I did his waffles, it was on a four. Yeah. Which is the perfect number in our house. And then he's such a good person. So he was chirping me about it because he's on my mom, he's on his mom's side about it. Okay, which is more of like a two and a half. Yes! It's a floppy.

SPEAKER_07 5:32

Put it on the windowsill in the sun.

SPEAKER_05 5:34

It's not going to be much just defrosting.

SPEAKER_04 5:40

So next time I did it, I said it on a two. Yeah. And he's like, oh, these are so soggy. Starts giving me shit for like. And then he just like looks at my at his mom and smirks at her, and then like looks at me. That's like obsessing with me.

Tool Brand Tribes And Parenting

The Great Clap Debate

SPEAKER_12 5:59

That's so good. That reminds me, Joey and I were at uh home hardware home show. Yeah. And we get to give away all these like crazy prizes. So it's for the pros. So it's all contractors that are there. There's tons and tons of really wicked prizes. So we're giving one away. We call it out, and it's a Makita tool. And this dad comes up with his son to pick it up. And Milwaukee. It was a Milwaukee, sorry. Milwaukee tool. And his son comes up with his dad, and he's like, the dad's like, oh, okay, like that's why I won. Cool thanks. And my son's like, he's not gonna like that. He's on the yellow team. And I was like, oh, he is, is he? He's like, Yep. But my mom's on the red team. And I'm like, well, it looks like your mom just won herself a nice little prize. I'm like, you know that mom got sick and tired of the dad taking the tools to site or leaving them, and now it's like you don't touch my red stuff, you can have your yellow, like the whole divide. Okay, so this second one is a little more random. How do you clap? So I saw somebody clapping. Your cheeks or uh I saw somebody clapping. And if you were to just clap your hands together for me, how would you do that?

SPEAKER_09 7:04

This is gonna be this is an audio nightmare.

SPEAKER_12 7:06

Yeah, but I just want to see how you how you clap.

SPEAKER_07 7:08

Like a fingers into palm tip.

SPEAKER_09 7:10

Fingers into palm. That's acceptable. Yeah. Just clap like this. Like a full on and you're you're cupping right now. That's not a clap. That's a cup clap. That's a that's a like a hand burp. Then what do you think of the?

SPEAKER_02 7:22

What do you think of the straight finger clap?

SPEAKER_09 7:23

No, no, you're no, that's not. But you've seen it. That's a little off. That makes me uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_04 7:30

Yeah. I don't I don't think that's politically. No, you're called actually. I can't clap like that. Is it like just spread your fingers?

SPEAKER_03 7:40

You're giving each other like a high five with an arch. Because I swear to god, I see people clapping like this. No. I see a lot of people clapping with straight fingers. What are you doing that they're getting so much applause? This reminds me too much of like yummies, they're yummies. I know that's going with the thinking about that.

SPEAKER_12 8:00

I was like, who taught me how to clap? But like I would do, like for me, I'm like, I'm clapping with my hands over, like creating that pocket in the palms. Joey's loud though. That's not a clap. That's not a clap.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

That's not a clap. You know why I had to wait to do this in person? Okay.

SPEAKER_12 8:22

Now, this next one, my wife called me out for in the middle of dinner while we were eating. Farting.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

No.

SPEAKER_12 8:30

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

How would you?

SPEAKER_12 8:32

Chewing with your mouth open.

SPEAKER_05 8:33

How would you do not?

SPEAKER_09 8:35

No, I had to I had to my daughter was chomping at the bets. It's the worst. Oh my, thank you for dude. And she's right beside me. She's just, she's not, I don't know how she must be in her iPad era. She's just like. And I'm looking around the table and I'm like, guys, come on. Like, is this doing it? Don't be speaking with me or what? And I'm like, babe, please stop chewing. I'm not kidding you. I'm like, please stop chewing with your mouth, like your mouth open like that. And Robin, my wife gives me the fucking eyes, like, are you you're gonna traumatize our kid? And she like Arby just kind of side-eyes me and then goes back to the I'm like, this is a hundred percent a joke. And my son's across and he's got iPad, but he's got the headphones on, so he can't hear shit. And I know if I took those headphones off, he would 100% back me on this. So then I go, I'm not kidding you. This is like two nights ago. I get up, I walk around, and I take the headphones off, and now he's pissed at me because he's gonna pause his show. But then here's the thing it's it's he's like think and then I take he's like, what? And I'm like, first of all, try that again. And then he's like, he's like, sorry, dad, what? And I'm like, just give me a second, what do you hear? And he's like, nothing. I'm like, fuck! Please don't chew with your mouth open. Like it's not. Sorry about that tangent. No, that was a fantastic tangent. Totally worked.

SPEAKER_12 10:01

So I want to want you to pretend with me for a moment here. I'm not videoing this. This is just pure audio, okay? Okay. Um, you're having a hot dog for dinner. Okay. So pick up your hot dog. You can't pick it up like this. No, I'm not doing it. Put your condiments on your hot dog. Condiments. Now, how are you going to bite that hot dog? I want you to bite a hot dog.

SPEAKER_09 10:22

No, you don't hold a hot dog like that. You don't do the sub or down.

SPEAKER_12 10:26

That's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

A head tilt. A head tilt? You naturally will tilt your head when you're eating a hot dog.

SPEAKER_04 10:31

Sometimes I just go straight for it.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Straight it, but then you're gonna get the condiments all up in your face.

SPEAKER_12 10:35

Sometimes I'm I'm okay. You've got a hot dog, you're gonna be putting a lot of see where you're going there, bro. I mean, I'm just a ketchup guy, but.

SPEAKER_09 10:45

Yeah, but how much ketchup are you putting on there? You're worried about spillage.

SPEAKER_12 10:48

No, it just feels weird to like you've got your bun, which is open in a U, and the hot dog's sitting inside it. I am not gonna just put that in my mouth with it vertical that way. I'm not gonna bite the hot dog. I'm biting bun and bun. So I'm turning my head.

SPEAKER_10 11:04

Let's get both buttons.

SPEAKER_12 11:05

I'm not turning it sideways because I don't want like it just my natural reaction was to tilt my head. And my wife was like, Why are you tilting your head to eat your hot dog?

SPEAKER_09 11:14

It's a different taste.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

It's a hot, yeah, like a taco, right? No, no, no. If you're not gonna do it, you're not gonna take a taco in this.

SPEAKER_09 11:21

So the wiener is now projecting up towards the firmament. Yeah, I'm gonna tilt this on like a 15-degree angle. Uh-huh. And I'm squeezing the bun. Okay, yeah. So I don't have to open my mouth that much. Yeah. And you make eye contact with no one. No. That is a rule. You cannot make eye contact with me. Have you ever done that? Dude, after the bar one time, you make you're eating the fucking drunken sushi. You make eye contact with a buddy while you're eating a summer sausage from the sidewalk. It's not a fucking good sound. Because you're locked in at that moment.

SPEAKER_06 11:56

I can't break eye contact.

SPEAKER_07 11:58

You're basically saying this is what I would do to you. So then you gotta commit and just oh no, you're into it now.

SPEAKER_10 12:05

The nicknames, the nicknames you would get.

SPEAKER_09 12:09

If that were to happen to you, I'll tell you, it's not bird man.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

But do you do you ever make eye contact with anyone when you're eating anything?

SPEAKER_09 12:17

Sometimes it's pretty funny. I challenge somebody to do it.

SPEAKER_12 12:23

I will, I guarantee you, the next time I eat a hot dog, I will walk eyes with somebody.

SPEAKER_08 12:28

It's weird for you. It's like it's like the other person's like, why what do you do? Because you don't have a good hot dog face. Like a face.

SPEAKER_12 12:36

I feel like a banana bite on job site has been taken in with my hot dogs. You've been looking for that one.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

You're like, Did you have to dip it in yogurt first?

SPEAKER_09 12:46

A hot dog, you have to, it's like the hot dog starts with the jaw down. So you're kind of like a like your your mouth doesn't move up. Your upper, your upper jaw stays in place as big as but it's not even like you're like normally when you bite, you go like this, you and you kind of like tilt back to bite forward. Because your hot dog, for some reason, yeah, but for some reason it's kind of like a it's like jaw down. It's a we it's you know, I've never given it that much thought.

SPEAKER_07 13:16

It's easier to swallow.

SPEAKER_04 13:17

I see. I'm okay with bleeding with my nose, though. Like, I don't mind if it gets a little missed.

SPEAKER_05 13:21

No, I do for sure. Are we still talking about hot dogs? Yeah, the small dog.

SPEAKER_12 13:26

I'm tilting my head. I'm tilting my head. That's too much taco talk, bro. She was laughing at me because the hot dog's staying stationary, and then I'm turning my head and she's like, why wouldn't you? Tilt the dog.

SPEAKER_07 13:36

Yeah, you tilt the 15-degree angle. Yeah, 15 degree angle. But it's all like 45. Next time. I got too many onions on there.

SPEAKER_10 13:45

She got onions on a dog or is where it's never been there. Never been there. Next, next.

SPEAKER_07 13:53

Are you onion? Buddy, hold your breath. Peanut butter.

SPEAKER_11 13:56

Oh, yes, I know this is.

SPEAKER_07 13:58

We've had this conversation. That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. If you haven't had it, you can't knock it. I bet you I can. You will, but you shouldn't. I've had my favorite. Peanut butter, even, wouldn't you? God, no. It's only peanut butter. So many viewers. No.

SPEAKER_06 14:16

This is what they tune in for. Let's just talk about randomness.

SPEAKER_12 14:20

This is the way that my brain thinks. It's like everyday things that you do, it's like, why do you do that? Yeah. So I often think about even with like tying your shoelace, like you do it the same every time you do it. Oh no, not with a back injuries doing that. That's true.

SPEAKER_09 14:35

If you have a lower back, I've I've got a cheat code.

SPEAKER_12 14:38

If you have a lower back, there's a few dads out there that have lower back injuries.

SPEAKER_09 14:41

I'll tell you, I can attest to that. So to put your socks on, yeah. There's nothing more degrading than asking your wife to have to put your socks on in the morning. And you know what? She does it, but you can tell she doesn't want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a fact. She can tell. So here's the cheat code. You sit like your you stand next to the bed. I'm trying to do this over audio, it's very difficult. With your the inside of your knees are at the side of your bed. Okay. You lift your leg up so that your heel is now on the bed, and then you sit down. And it there's no pain. You can then put your sock on, but for whatever reason, trying to put lift your leg up to like put the sock on hurts. But when you do it that way, I'm like, ha ha, lady, I don't need you anymore.

SPEAKER_12 15:30

Would she do them like pull the sock all the way up too? And then you can't get down there to fix it.

SPEAKER_09 15:36

I'm like trying to do it because I'm too proud to ask, but in my groaning, it's like my way of being like, hey lady, I need your help over here. So then she's like, Do you want help? I'm like, yeah. And she makes eye contact, which is like normally you're kind of like contact while putting on a sock, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 15:53

But you're like normally you're like, I'm here for this guy, right? I'm here for how's your name going?

SPEAKER_09 16:03

Nice to meet you. That's what I'm saying. But from that POV in this situation, you're just like, ah man, the things that could be things that this could be tucking your toesies into their little sleeping bag. And like sometimes when you're injured and you like make a pass, or like you do it, because like I'm kind of a comedic guy and I kind of make like a little funny, but like she'll say something to me, and my comeback is always the same, whatever she says, but I sexualize it by putting that like flair on there. That's she'd be like, Can you open the window? I'm like, I'd like to open your window. And I do that for everything.

Peanut Butter, Onions, And Kitchen Quirks

SPEAKER_04 16:40

Yeah, that's natural. You gotta do that.

SPEAKER_09 16:42

Yeah, but then you know, can I put your socks on? I'm like, I'd like to put your socks on. She's like, Whatever you say there, gimpy. She knows you ain't cashing those checks. You don't got any right now. Or she like giggled, she's like, ha ha, yeah, right. Then put you in a wheelchair.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

And it's like, well, if I was in the wheelchair, would you still want to do that? Right. Be in your wheelchair. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_09 17:05

Just lean in. Anyways. Fucking miss you guys. Oh, that's so good.

SPEAKER_03 17:11

How's life, everybody?

SPEAKER_09 17:14

Okay, so um, I was gonna talk about this months ago, but if there's listeners in the states, they can appreciate this. Okay, okay. It was our first time hosting Thanksgiving, and I fucking rocked the shit out of smoking turkey.

SPEAKER_11 17:30

Yeah, dude. Nice.

SPEAKER_09 17:33

It is like, I get it. I get why dad was like, no, the turkey is mine. You can have the vegetables, but I'm doing the turkey. You owned it. It was, and you know where I got everything from? Chat GPT. Nice.

SPEAKER_12 17:49

It was incredible. A little bit of Howie.

SPEAKER_09 17:53

Howie recommended the bucket. I would Howie would have helped. Okay, so we contact. For context, Howie is my very manly neighbor that lives across the street, and he has his man card has a bunch of punches of the holes in it. You know, he's going hunting next weekend. I know, he's a cool guy. And he's like he's a firefighter. He like he he's got all these brine, like a like a whole bunch of things. He's got brines.

SPEAKER_07 18:16

That's all you need to know, but a guy's got brines. That's right.

SPEAKER_09 18:20

But like, here's the thing this is what you need. Like, you this is what we do this podcast. You need somebody. So I can go down on the I'm like, okay, we're gonna host, I'm gonna smoke a turkey. Right. But how do I smoke a turkey as it doesn't dry, right? So then you go down the whole rabbit hole of YouTube university, and now all these uh people on YouTube, they either have their own mixtures of things that they do, right, or they're like, everyone is like, okay, you put this in a brine bag. So now I'm like, oh, I just gotta go to the I live in God's country. Brine bags should be everywhere. Wrong. And it's not like you can go to the like, it's not like you're going to the every corner, there's a grocery store there. You're traveling, you're putting cams on the truck, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Finding a brine bag.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

You can't cams like dinner? You can't. Is that what he just does to everything? Who?

SPEAKER_12 19:05

Cams on the truck kilometers? Is that what you were meaning? Cams. And dinner?

SPEAKER_03 19:09

You just blend them into a word.

SPEAKER_09 19:11

I was there for that. I missed it. No, I got it. What are you talking about? It's my son. I'm gonna put a twang on anything.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

Um, anyways, it's gotta be like a hillbilly version of the brine bag. Oh, for sure there is. Yeah.

Lower Back Hacks And Sock Strategy

SPEAKER_09 19:25

Oh, standby. So I text Howie and I'm like, hey, Matt, because he's working on things. I'm like, hey, man, do you have a brine bag? He might not be working, okay? Don't hold me to this. He's listening to this right now.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

He's like, I wasn't fucking working.

SPEAKER_09 19:37

I'm not gonna fact check him. Anyways, doesn't matter. I text him, I'm like, Do you have a brine bag that I can borrow? And he goes, Fug's a brine bag. And I was like, If you don't know what this is, I'm fine. I know. And I was like, bro, I have like I got a chicken that I'm or a turkey that I'm trying to fucking smoke on the thing. He goes, I just use a five, like a bucket, yeah, and I put everything in the bucket, and then I I let it sit for like 24 hours. Brilliant. I'm like, I don't have 24 hours, so 12's gonna have to do. And I went and pushed it to like 15, 14. Okay. So the the thing is you fill this water or you fill this thing with like uh water and apple juice, and then you put a bunch of spices in the water, okay, and you let the the turkey sit submerged into this bucket, it just has to be cold. So it later on in the year you just either leave it outside. So that's what I did because we got this like cold spell. I left it out on my back to beautiful, and then you take it out, and then you can put it on. So we I smoked it for six hours, and it's like almost impossible to dry out the turkey, but the turkey's cooked, so it's not watery, but it's like it's not that dry, like whatever, and it has like the smoke flavor in it. You put the rub and stuff all in the side. It was like ten out of ten. Like, we have to we have to do a barbecue thing, we have to do like a real dad barbecue thing, and I was like, I don't boast much about my own things, but I was like, this is fucking amazing. And the only people we had there, so Robin's mom was in Newfoundland, we had Robin's dad, who like brags about everything that we cook because he wants to pump our tires so that we cook him more dinner. So I don't believe it. That is a brilliant play right there, Alan. Like I've had literally pork chops that taste like chalk, and this guy's like, This is the best thing you guys have ever cooked in my. I'm like, shut up, shut up. I know you're next to it. Yeah, exactly. But his uh Robin's brother was there, and I'm pretty sure he's sleep deprived because he's got a little guy, he brought his little guy, but his wife is expecting their second and she's too sick to travel.

SPEAKER_11 21:44

Oh boy.

Smoking Turkey: Brine Buckets And Wins

SPEAKER_09 21:45

So we made her like a she's the one that would tell you the truth. Okay, right. So she wasn't there, yeah, and we we made her a little go bag, which reminds me, Kevin, you mother f you have my Tupperware, all my Tupperware. And bring that back. And he lives in Ottawa, which is never singing it again. Yeah, you gotta buy a new bag. Anyways, uh Tupperware. So he has he brought the thing, and she like went out of her way to be like, that was fantastic. Kevin was saying it's better than the day the next day, and this and then this, and I was like, it's happening. It's happening. I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_12 22:22

Round of applause for Mark. Yeah, straight finger, round of applause for Mark. No, don't clap like that.

SPEAKER_05 22:26

Don't clap. Gave claps don't count. Just testing it out.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

Showed out to my brother. We don't do our family, doesn't love turkey, so we did a prime rib instead. And he smoked it. And it was like phenomenal. I feel bad for my wife because she doesn't like smoked meat. Oh no, what a name. So strange. But uh Brian. Or Joey Ross. Joey Ross. She is just a truly lovely person. Just met more for me. So there you go. It was delicious. Yeah. That's amazing. He crushed it as well. Steve? Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 23:02

He just looks like he knows how to smoke meat. He knows things. He does. And that's what I hope. I mean that in the best way. For like my kids' sake, that like I get to be because like now they're young. But when they're older, they're like, yo, your dad, I bet you your dad knows how to fucking shit. He's a good guy. That flannel mullet that he the racombo he's got going on. That's been places.

SPEAKER_12 23:28

I can man a barbecue, but I haven't uh ventured into the smoking. That's that's a long journey. That's a lot of time and you have whiskey though. I've got whiskey.

SPEAKER_08 23:36

I like I can't. I can't do whiskey. And it's like you those little things like when we did that whiskey tasting thing on here.

SPEAKER_09 23:44

If you want to go barely made it, I hated every minute of this, but I did nothing makes you feel more less than a man than wearing a glove, taking a fish off a hook, or fucking choking when you're trying to drink whiskey, and you look over at Dave and he's like, that was the easy one.

SPEAKER_12 24:03

We all know how to use tools though. That punches that card. Yeah, yeah. One thing that triggered for me when you were talking about Tupperware was that like I might not be rich. I'm not a wealthy human, but I'm wealthy enough to throw away dirty Tupperware. Oh, like that's a good thing. If it has been sitting in the fridge with leftovers for too long, and you know that that is a moldy mess of food that's like back of the fridge for months, I would never throw that in. It is going to be straight. I am not cracking the seal on that one bit. There is no way you were gonna get that clean enough to put more food back in. Garbage. What do you mean? Garbage. What type of Tupperware are you bringing into your house? Okay, if it's if it's a very nice Tupperware, then yeah, we're gonna work on it.

SPEAKER_09 24:51

What's nice? We've got like rubber made.

SPEAKER_12 24:55

They're like oval shaped. They've got a little thing that you can like pull out so that you when you reheat it. Are they glass? Most of ours are glass. No, we don't have any plastic ones right now. I'm talking about like if it's a cheaper plastic one, it's garbage. Well, first of all, you don't buy cheap black ones. We've thrown out a bowl before, dude. It was so that they can throw it away. Exactly. Because we know we leave it in the back of the fridge long enough. There's a method. Because it is the it is the dad in you from your parents that is like, oh yeah, I gotta keep those leftovers, let's pack those away. And then you know you don't want the leftovers.

SPEAKER_09 25:27

I'm out now. I'm I'm not doing that anymore.

SPEAKER_12 25:30

You're no leftovers, get rid of it.

SPEAKER_09 25:32

Unless, like, for real, it's like uh I'm not gonna eat that. And then when you s when you put your foot down like that, it's it is like being birthed for the second time, I'm telling you right now.

SPEAKER_10 25:42

Because it is it is that you gotta have a fridge full of moldy ass shit. Right.

SPEAKER_04 25:47

I eat all our leftovers. You're a big leftover guy. I'm a carp. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:00

Unique animal.

SPEAKER_06 26:03

Most people go vulture in that scenario. Not bad. It's a fucking carp. I'm gonna make this elegante.

SPEAKER_04 26:16

Well, she makes way better food than uh I would make for myself for lunch. So where's my lunch? I bring it in.

SPEAKER_09 26:21

No, that like kudos to you if you can do that, but I've I've like played the real train now because so there I don't want to go on another tangent, but I have a pet.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

That's all we've been doing. It's taking tangents. I don't even know what this episode is. I got to Tupperware from your from you talking. We're ADD ing the shit out of this episode, and it's fantastic.

SPEAKER_07 26:40

It's what these episodes always are. We haven't seen each other, so buckle up.

SPEAKER_09 26:45

Um so my wife the the garbage day is Monday. Okay. So I leave shit in the fridge that smells because we live in the country and rodents like that smell.

SPEAKER_07 27:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fridge Politics: Leftovers, Rice, And Pizza

SPEAKER_09 27:02

So we have a deep freezer in our fridge that I will put the stuff in so that it's frozen and it doesn't sit. Or it just sits in there and then Monday morning comes in and I put it all on the thing right to the right to the thing. There's no like building of the thing. If we have leftovers, she's so much of a clean person that like our fridge has to be clean too. Right. So when she sees something like spinach, is like you buy spinach at three o'clock and then 3.05 is fucking if she sees that, she's like, nope, and then it comes out and she has gotta do it. I'm like, babe, it's 2 30 on Wednesday. Like that's gonna sit in the city. We're not close. That's gonna sit in the sun and just be nasty. Like, just leave it in there. She's like, nope. So now I'm like, I don't even care. It's like we had we the thing pulled out the butter chicken yesterday, and she's like, hey, are you gonna eat this? No. She's like, we're gonna throw out all this. I was like, hey, we throw it out now, we throw it out fucking three, four days from now.

SPEAKER_04 28:00

Rice? You can't really let go. I know I saw that video. Yeah, rice grows mold real fast, so it's gotta be next day or it's outstairs. Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_09 28:08

You can't freeze my rice.

SPEAKER_07 28:12

That's a rhyming word. It is. I have always been that way. I hated leftovers growing up.

SPEAKER_12 28:20

What about pizza?

SPEAKER_07 28:20

Magnus that now.

SPEAKER_12 28:21

Oh, yeah, you gotta keep it.

SPEAKER_07 28:22

And that's the thing, I will do some, don't get me wrong. But the vast majority of the time, I'm not leftovers. So we have magnosa dinner.

SPEAKER_12 28:31

Turkey dinner, we kept leftovers. I had the next day, and then it stayed in our fridge for like two weeks. You would rather hang out, and then we finally dealt with it. You would rather eat your peanut butter sandwich the next day than leftovers for lunch.

SPEAKER_07 28:44

That happens often. You gotta also understand.

SPEAKER_12 28:46

Yeah, the household situation here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 28:50

I have an incredible wife in a lot of ways, but not in a cooking way. Oh no. Meg ain't no cook. She knows this about herself. Oh no. And she works a ton, so then we don't idiot. We often bring it back. Yeah. So there isn't often the home cooked meal to be leftovers. Then the leftovers are like, yeah, it's like chicken nuggets and smile fries here. People are not. Well, those aren't good leftovers. Well, we're on the page.

SPEAKER_09 29:22

The next day.

SPEAKER_12 29:23

Oh, like reheat? Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 29:24

It's not one of the worst for food groups for the radiation.

SPEAKER_12 29:28

It's so bad. It's not good. It's not good. They were fries?

SPEAKER_08 29:32

Like you microwave fries. It's not a microwave fruit.

SPEAKER_09 29:37

Talk about a soggy waffle. Yeah. French fry in a microwave. Oh my god, it turns into a fucking spaghetti noodle for free. Wow, that's disgusting.

SPEAKER_12 29:46

On a parenting food related uh note, um, how you don't realize that you slowly like condition your kids. Like your kids are watching you and then they mimic the things that you do.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 29:57

Um pizza, order pizza. We eat our pizza and then I'm getting up and I'm kind of cleaning around the kitchen. Ben's like, hey, don't put that away. Just leave it on the counter. I'll probably come back for another slice in a couple hours or so. And I was like, oh shit, he got that from me. That's a good move. Late night pizza. That's a good move. It's like, yeah, you leave two or three slices there. Yeah. Come back later, you grab another slice. It's still good. It's still good.

SPEAKER_09 30:22

Yeah, circle back. That's the most annoying thing in the world. What? Like pizza on the counter like that. I can't do that. I also hate like all caps. When someone opened pizza box. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 30:40

Somebody leave it in the paper. Somebody leave it in the box.

SPEAKER_12 30:45

I love those things because I think of you when I see it.

SPEAKER_09 30:49

Somebody leaves a box over like, ah, Mark would be so mad. And it's like, it's such a stupid thing to get angry about that I can't make a scene. Nine times out of ten, I have to go to the bathroom and like coach myself in the mirror to calm the fuck down. It's like, and I think Robin does it on purpose now because it is like we had pizza the other day, and you know what? We're going to Howie's house tomorrow for pizza. I guarantee ten out of ten. They're a bunch of tarps off people. Pizza's there to enjoy, and it's just a gondola of fucking open pizza boxes. I'm like, my eyes gonna twitch. I'm like, oh, you got cats in here. Gosh, close the lid. I'd rather eat it off the floor than from an open pizza box. Oh.

Spicy Chips And Kids’ Palates

SPEAKER_04 31:44

I had a cute food moment with uh my youngest the other night. He's three, and he's like sitting on the couch with me, and I have these spicy ketchup chips, and he's like on the fence about spicy stuff. Yeah, but he tries it. So he's like sitting there and he's just like gets one. He's like, immediately he's like, I like this, dad. And then he like just slowly starts like and he starts pounding back the spicy chips. And I'm like, geez, these are actually spicy, like, but he just like dove right in there was the most adorable thing.

SPEAKER_03 32:16

I love that kid, and he just liked it. Yeah, he was just like, Oh, I was waiting for like that his mouth turned on fire.

SPEAKER_04 32:23

Like my mouth was on fire, and his he was just like so.

SPEAKER_09 32:26

I think that's like a later in life palette development thing because my son's three, too. Yeah, I licked a sour candy that I got for the like and I was on fire, and he's just like, These aren't spicy, and he's like eating them by the handfuls. Yeah, it was adorable. Yeah, I can't fit nobody that has two cavities.

SPEAKER_04 32:45

My other daughter, if it's like, I if I put any pepper on anything, she just like this is so spicy! It's like acting like she's going to die.

SPEAKER_12 32:59

Oh man. And there's crew just chewing on rocks. Ah, getting over here. I like this, dad. We'll all go to the same place. Oh man, they're kids. They're pretty awesome kids. I'm just telling you. Um, so on the dad note, dad note uh we're here, bro. We I had uh busy weekend. So during all of this, we've had all of our birthday. Oh, that was a good story too. All of the kids' birthdays. Thanksgiving, I was sick, my wife was sick, she went away on the weekend. Oh, yeah, contracts.

SPEAKER_09 33:32

All of Dave's family is born in October.

Solo Dad Weekend: Sports Marathon

Bench Reality And Motivation Talk

First Basket And Coaching Openness

SPEAKER_12 33:35

Yes. Um, so Joy went away after all of this to have a sister's weekend, but she was sick for two weeks leading up to going away. So it's all where like already like being on like overly dad duty before she goes away. And then the weekend was um, my daughter had hockey, my son had a basketball tournament. So we had a full sports weekend. So it was two games on Saturday, one game on Sunday. Not necessarily a tournament, just like three games within the one weekend. There's no option of the kids going somewhere else. I wanted it to be an all-together thing, and it's one of those like it was absolutely crazy, but in a very good, like fun family way. Exhausting, but I was really happy with it all. Nice. But I think I had talked about this before with my son doing basketball, and I think I had mentioned that he's not very good. And you guys were like, Oh, that's not me. Like you told him that he wasn't very good, and I'm like, No, I didn't tell him that. But uh through all of the practices that we've been leading up to their first game, this is the first game as a team. I've been trying to kind of coach him into subtly understanding that you're probably gonna be on the bench for some of these, like you're not gonna be out there. He doesn't suck, he's he's grown his skills, but I was in that kind of mind frame of like your job is a bench player, so you've got to get the starters ready, you've got to be the hype guy, you've got to be the one that's picking them up, like see things. He wasn't quite getting it. The first game he played, the team was against another skilled team, and he sat on the bench for the majority of it. He got out for maybe a minute of playtime and then back to the bench, and the team ended up losing. So the team was down a little bit, and uh he came over to me after the game, and I could tell he was like trying to hold it together. Like, you know, when you're like on the brink of tears, but you're around all of your friends and you don't want to like let it all out. And I'm like, that's all right, buddy. Like we'll talk about this when we get to the car. Everything'll be okay. Like so they had a little team pow-wow, the coaches talk to all the kids, a little game down, like game breakdown, and we start heading out to the car, and we're gonna go grab some lunch before their next game and we get in the car. And he was so devastated and pissed, and he was like going through all the feelings and all the emotions. He was angry, he was sad, his grandpa came to watch him and he didn't really get to play. So he was disappointed with that. His sisters are there, and he's just sitting on the bench. Um, and I had the opportunity to have that conversation with him. I was like, now, do you understand why I kept telling you, like, hey, go outside and take some shots? You gotta put extra time into this. And I kept saying they're like, These guys have played on teams before. This is your first year, you've got to catch up. So I'm telling them all of this, and I'm like, This, what you're feeling right now is good. Like, don't take for granted the feeling that you're having. All feelings are welcome here. You're sad, you're angry. Good. I want you to be sad. I want you to be angry because that is what's going to give you the motivation to want to do this. If you want to be out on that court, you've got to put the work in and you've got to want to get out there and do it. I can't do this for you. I can't control you. You've got to grow these skills. And it's sunk in in that moment of him like understanding and seeing it because I've built my kids up so much with so much confidence that like they just think they're the best at everything. My daughter's first year of hockey, and she's coming off, like, man, I was just flying out there. And I was like, sure, babe, yeah, you you sure were. And like my son's still like much shorter than some of these other kids. So he just thought he was gonna be out there. He thought he would just keep up with them all and stuff. And it's like, you got some work to do. So then I'm like, let's shake this off, let's reset, go back for our next game. The next game was against a team that was not very good. So the starters went out, went up on like a 12-0 run. So we beat this team by 30. So the coach was able to get everybody in the game, everybody was playing uh and he was having so much fun, got his first basket, made some stops, some turnovers, and like everybody, the whole team, like he, his vibe and everything was so excited after that. We come home after that night, everybody's exhausted, disappear for screens for a little while, I get the girls to bed and he's still up. So we're kind of chatting, and then he would like finally let me teach him something and like talk to him about like basketball and positioning. It's like I told him, like, I don't know a lot about basketball, but I have been watching these videos to learn, to teach you. Like, all I want to do is be able to teach you and show you some of these things. And he was like, he before, if I would say something like that, he's like, whatever, leave me alone, like I know what to do, like stop messing with it. And then he was like, All right, dad, what were you saying about that? Like, how should I do this? And I was like, I saw him doing one of the things that I had been trying to like get him to work on with just like the feel and like have the basketball around you all the time. And it was just that like it finally clicked that little bit, and it was so satisfying of a dad moment. And since then, like he's had a different attitude towards it the whole time. So, like there was another day where he was like in this fit kind of like, I'm bored, like my friends don't want to game, like they're not awake to game, the girls don't want to play with me, there's nothing to do. And I'm like, I want you to remember Saturday and how you felt Saturday. And he's like, Oh, okay. And like went, got his shoes on and went outside and started balling. And I was like, You're not bored, like, yes, nobody wants to be on a screen right now. There's so much for you to do, like, utilize this moment. And he was like, I keep reverting back to that. I'm like, remember how you felt, like, feel that feeling again and let that fuel you to go. So we had that really cool breakthrough. And then that same weekend, I think it might have been the next day, they had another game, lots of fun, great day. He comes back and he's later that night, he's playing video games with his friends, and his friends started kind of chirping. And it was one of those like I was getting the girls ready for bed, and I was just sitting on the stairs, kind of listening to what was going on in the other room. And I walked in and I heard them, and they're like chirping away, chirping away, and my son kind of like had to push the controller away, and the audio was coming through the controller. And I just kind of saw and read the moment and I went for it. So I picked up the microphone and I was just like, Oh yeah? Is that is that what you actually think? Is that is that what you think of Ben? Like, really? Oh, interesting. Like, that's how we talk to our friends now, huh? Like that's how we're gonna treat people, and called them out on his mic. And it was one of those moments of like, I don't know if I'm overstepping right now, if this is a good thing, a bad thing, what to do here. But I just my gut was saying, go for it. So I did it. And I jumped in and I called them out, I put it down, and I sat down beside him, and I picked it up, and I'm like, I have like Ben has been going through this for a long time. This isn't once in a while.

SPEAKER_09 40:45

What do you mean going through it?

SPEAKER_12 40:46

The bullying. Like I've brought it up on many podcasts. He is always the one that gets picked on. Yeah, he's the target, and it's other kids deflecting so that they don't become the target.

SPEAKER_09 40:56

Are these his friends or are they just like they're friends too?

Standing Up To Online Chirps

SPEAKER_12 40:59

So it's like it there's a sense of chirping, but it's happened too much that it's just like it's not okay. So I pick it up again and I'm like, ever since Ben was born, I've always told him that friends come first. You stand up for a friend no matter what, and none of you guys will stand up for him, and just kind of called them out, put it down, went up, got the girls to bed, and then came back down. And like Ben came over and gave me the biggest hug, and he was like, Thank you so much for doing that, dad. Because one of the things that he's been struggling with is one, not feeling like anybody has his back, yeah, like his friends not standing up for him, two, feeling like there is no escape. Because if he turns it off, they call him a rage quitter or that he's a baby, like they'll they'll have another thing that there's no good or easy exit to that. And he was like, Thank you for standing up for me. And it like it clicked this other like special, special like growth bond that the two of us had in that moment where he realized that I have his back. And it's like I had a great conversation with him about we want you to try to solve your own problems and work through your own issues. But I I don't know why. I'm like, I just I felt like I wanted to jump in there for you. And he was like, I'm so glad that you did. And we've had like, yeah, just this like connection that like had always had a little bit of like tension between him and I of whether whether it was the sports trying to encourage him or with his friends, and it really just like clicked in his brain in that moment of like, no, my dad my dad has my back, like my dad's here for me, and like it has been really cool, like the past week kind of playing out since then. Like the the love that he's giving me, the attention that he's giving me, and like our connection, like watching the Jays game together. It's just been different in a very like cool and real way. So it was a crazy busy weekend, but to have those two moments with my son was like I wouldn't change it for the world. It was so cool. Damn.

SPEAKER_09 43:08

Yeah, I don't want to shit on your Mr. Rogers moment because that is incredible. But it makes me feel like a bag of shit for the interaction I had with my oldest daughter right before we left. Okay, okay, okay. How do you handle lying? Oh, see that's different.

SPEAKER_12 43:31

Lying's tough. My daughter is a very good liar too.

SPEAKER_09 43:35

But like what so like I'm sitting here, I'm like, I would love to do that, but in this moment right now, I'm like, but I don't trust her to tell me the truth. And it like this was so stupid. She's learning about Toronto right now because of the Blue Jays and everything. Right. So we're doing the thing, like I was born in Toronto, like I know Toronto. Right. So she's like, Did you know that Toronto uh used to be called York? And I was like, Well, it it used to be, and then she's like, well, it's six, it was six regions, and then they turned it, and I was like, Yes, and then she goes, It all you also used to be called Toronto, and I was like, No, it didn't.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

That one's just not true.

SPEAKER_09 44:21

And then she's like, Yes, it is. We're learning about it in our thing. And I was like, do not lie to me, and then support your lie with another lie. Don't do it, yeah. So that I don't know why I was so angry at Trinity. Don't disrespect my birthplace, Toronto, and the reason why we're all so happy right now.

unknown 44:43

Right.

SPEAKER_09 44:44

Just don't do it, just don't. Yeah. And she wouldn't, like, she was like, we are learning about it in school. And I I fucking had to Google.

SPEAKER_04 44:55

Was you trying to pronounce like the native way of saying it? She knows what it is.

Lying, Triggers, And Tough Moments

SPEAKER_09 45:00

Okay, and she was like, Tehran Doe was what she kept saying. And I was like, This isn't our old prime minister lady, like this is the city to which I was born in. It has never been called that before. She swears that Mrs. Green is gonna think. And I'm I'm like, I'm gonna message it. Better yet, I'm gonna come to your class tomorrow and I'm gonna ask her in front of all of your friends if this actually happened. Do not lie to me. And I went on this huge, stupid tangent that now you're thing there, you're boasting about it, and I'm like, damn it.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

Maybe she's under very different circumstances.

SPEAKER_09 45:45

Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. I didn't give her the benefit of the doubt of that. And Robin was so mad at me that I was leaving her to come to this, she just fucking left me into this conversation, but I tore a strip off. I was like, if you lie, that lacks trust. So you want to go out trick-or-treating with your friends? I don't trust that you're gonna tell me that you're going to the right place. So guess what? You're not gonna be trick-or-treating. You want to have a kid. Oh my god. I I tore a strip off this poor girl.

SPEAKER_12 46:16

And now I feel like shit. But it means a lot to you. Like, it in similar circumstances, in that, like, the for me with my son, seeing somebody not stand up for him is one of my like things. Like, I always want him to stand up for the marginalized for the people that are getting picked on. Yeah, for you, that lying is your line where it's like you don't lie.

SPEAKER_09 46:40

It's it's not so much like because like she there's some times where she tells a lie, and you're like, okay, this one's fucking for the birds. Like, oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_03 46:49

I mean, Toronto could have been one for the birds.

SPEAKER_09 46:52

I know, like, I know you're not die on. I don't know why it bothered me so much, but it like fuck it. It was a pizza box moment, man. Like, it had it there was rage in my eyes and in my voice. And and one of the things that like, because I am already a resting bitch face person, that like sometimes my family can't tell if I'm mad or not. Right. So my tone is very important, right? And if I'm like irritated, even if I'm speaking like I'm speaking right now, I wear a bitch face on, and Robin's like, I can't I don't know if you're being I don't know if you're being serious, if you're joking, or if you're super pissed at me right now. Right, right. And so the kids very confusing for them. So she like and then you know, Aubrey's like, are you mad at me? And I'm like, Yes, I'm fucking mad at you. I thought I was making that very clear. Wrong answers only, though. Not allowed to do that anymore. No, no, so then it's kind of like a now I'm like, ah, fuck and all over something stupid, yeah. Where she could like, she could maybe she heard it wrong, like you said, or like I didn't give her the benefit of any of those doubts. I just went straight to like you're lying to me, but this is where it comes from is she has a friend that is such a child. Yeah, she's a child. That's all you need to know about her.

SPEAKER_12 48:12

Boy, can that child lie?

SPEAKER_09 48:14

But dude, it's not that she's she wants to be older than she is, she's like face full of makeup when you're seven years old, eight years old, like tube tops, cell phone, her parents let her watch Chucky and like all these different things, and like she called my wife a bitch, all these other things, and like my daughter, yeah, and this is like this is Aubrey's best friend. Aubrey loves this girl, and I'm like, this girl is a cancer, but I can't tell her that because then it's like now her, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, so then I'm like birds of a feather. I I'm not gonna let this, I'm not gonna let my little girl turn into this fucking child. And now I'm like, I'm struggling really bad because I'm like the when the second a trait of that other character is like being is so she's doing because when they're this other girl does this like weird fucking face thing, like a six, seven, like one of those things, but it's like a face thing, and Aubrey does it now, and I'm just like that's not you, yeah. Don't do that, yeah. And it like it's like a trigger, you know what I mean? And that's where I think it came from, where I was like, but I I'm having a hard time with like the old school boomer the way I was brought up to like fear the shit out of her to like the like the new school love to be like, hey, like I just love you enough to not want you to be like this person because they're not a good person, and I don't when you guys are like talking about it's like I'm fucking jealous of that moment because I feel like I'm so don't get me wrong, there was a bunch of other moments on the weekend that were not with that.

Sibling Seat Wars And Car Tactics

SPEAKER_12 50:10

So here's another one whether or not this is a good dad move or not. So we're driving the Brola's truck here because my wife had the van, and but for business purposes only, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my son's in the front and the girls are in the back seat. Oh my god, there's a lot of things. My daughter likes sitting in the middle seat, the youngest, because it's in between the seats so she can see out a little bit better. Uh, my other daughter understood that that is her favorite seat, so she decided that she wanted that seat now. Of course. So they're fighting over the middle seat in the truck. I'm like, why is this a thing that we're fighting over right now? Like, what is going on here? I want to sit in the middle. I'm like, you know what? There's a front seat in the front, there's a middle seat in the front. You want to come up and sit in the front seat? So then the youngest came up and sat in the front seat, and then the one in the back who stole the can't see shit. Can't see shit. She was pissed. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_02 51:02

I was like, well, you got your middle seat. She got her middle seat. Everybody's supposed to be happy if they were not happy.

SPEAKER_12 51:08

Oh, that's a brilliant. Oh, I hate fighting over stupid shit like that. Seats and cars and stuff. Like, I just want to put a label in this as your seat forever. You never get to move from this spot ever.

SPEAKER_09 51:20

Like, you're gonna get me concussed. You're gonna have to do this.

SPEAKER_05 51:26

I heard that.

SPEAKER_09 51:27

That actually hurt the mic for context, the microphone just punched Brian in the mouth.

SPEAKER_07 51:33

I have done that once. It doesn't feel like a time in the row. That metal part right there that gets you, too. Sorry for your loss, Brian.

SPEAKER_04 51:41

I'm in a season of uh parenting where they just fight about stupid shit constantly.

SPEAKER_09 51:46

Why?

SPEAKER_12 51:48

But do you guys interfere? Because so, like before sometimes. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_09 51:52

And you have the thing is it's like I don't know, I don't know. I think Robin was just overstimulated tonight because the kids were fighting over it's Halloween. Right. And it's like, we're not my my son's being a fucking zookeeper. So I'm sitting here gluing fucking spiders onto a damn tilly hat, and then my wife is making him a name tag that he is literally gonna throw into a puddle tomorrow morning. Right. Yep. And they're fighting over who's gonna be a pirate or not. And Robin's like, no one's being a pirate, Matter. Like, you are you are like they're going, she's going as Scooby-Doo, and you're going as a bazookeeper, remember? This is why we're here. And he's like, he's like, uh, yeah, scurvy.

SPEAKER_05 52:35

And they're like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's it's 23 hours away.

SPEAKER_09 52:42

And that's just it. They're like fighting over this, and she's like, and I'm just like, I don't give a f if he wants to wear a fucking eye patch with this thing, then let him just roll with it. I give zero fuck. The Blue Jays play at eight o'clock.

SPEAKER_01 52:54

Literally, all three events are working.

SPEAKER_05 52:57

Like we can win the World Series tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 53:00

So I don't give a fuck about this 100%.

SPEAKER_04 53:03

So tomorrow night, it's Friday night is family movie night. Okay. So the game plan was to go trick-or-treating and then come home and watch Casper.

SPEAKER_09 53:12

Oh no. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 53:14

So I had to pull the card and I said, that's not happening.

SPEAKER_04 53:19

I'm sorry. Uh we're watching, they're gonna watch Casper before trick-or-treating because I'm like, at eight o'clock, the game is going on no matter what, and we're all watching it together.

SPEAKER_09 53:28

See, this I appreciate that so much because I had this dilemma with the Eagles in the Super Bowl and like the thing. So like I get it. Yeah, I totally get it. And if your family doesn't support you, come to my house.

SPEAKER_12 53:41

I was like, Leo, the last time this happened, I was five years old.

SPEAKER_04 53:44

Yeah, this is never like it could not happen for another 30 years. Yeah, yeah. We're watching this together, it's going down.

SPEAKER_12 53:51

Yeah, I was totally I've been debating whether or not like I want to go watch it with the guys, but I'm like, I kind of want to watch this with the family. Like, I want them to stay up and watch it. My son's been watching a lot of the games with me, even that late one. He stayed up till one o'clock, and then I was like, This has no end in sight, bro. You gotta go to bed. And then that was the next morning, it was a disaster.

SPEAKER_02 54:12

My wife's like, you can't be doing this. And I'm like, when is this ever gonna happen again? This is a once-in-a lifetime situation, like this, yeah, it's never gonna happen again because you know. It will literally never happen again.

SPEAKER_03 54:27

Why are we arguing about this? Let's just let the kids sleep and we'll drive them in at recess. Like, what do we care?

SPEAKER_09 54:32

It's incredible how much this country like rallies around sports and like the major ones, obviously, but like the camaraderie and like all of the the team dynamics that are rallying behind the blue jays, where like Tim Hortons has blue jays cups for crying out loud, and you have like you have you know the schools are having like Blue Jay days, and like my my son came home singing the like okay, yeah, we gotta diamond, and it's like that's the shit that like when we were kids, yeah. I remember them doing like they had all the things, and we're just like it's just so beautiful now that like my wife and I were talking, like, what happens next week? It's gonna be such a buzzkill. It's like the kids are so into it, and like the last three weeks have been like, Oh, the blue jays are on now, the blue jays are on, like, are the blue jays on? And it's like it's such a cool thing that like I'm not gonna lie to you. When they pulled LA, I was like, Oh, y'all are.

SPEAKER_12 55:41

Yeah, that's what like I was like, we're playing with house money. Like it feels like you go to a casino and you win, and you're just playing with their money, and no matter what happens, you're you're good, you're in a good place.

SPEAKER_09 55:52

So, like it's been so beautiful. Like, you see some of the the like posts on social of like the watch parties and then the people coming out of there, and everyone's singing, and they're like, there isn't a there's no cop cars on fire, there's no looting or violence or anything, it's just a bunch of group people that are just singing and like celebrating, and it's like that's what I want for my whole family. I was just smiling today.

SPEAKER_06 56:19

It was just like how many of those moments on the job side I spun up a thing of paint, paint went everywhere.

SPEAKER_07 56:26

I'm like, still just having a great time. Still happy to be here, guys.

SPEAKER_12 56:30

Like making breakfast, like at school lunches in the morning. I'm like, uh you take whatever the fuck you want. Like, dad's in a good mood.

SPEAKER_02 56:37

You know what's crazy? Take an extra granular, go for it.

Family Sports Fandom: Jays And Steelers Bet

SPEAKER_09 56:40

I don't care. We're such losers that that's what winning kids are not used to it.

SPEAKER_08 56:47

So no, I'm gonna be like that all the time. Like, no, like buddy, it's like that is the epitome of heaven.

SPEAKER_04 56:55

There's only a select few, there's only a select few cities that need to be. I was gonna say you can't, but you gotta be a Yankees fan.

SPEAKER_09 57:02

Are you gonna do that? No, but the Yankees are angry about it. Like they they win their angry, they're they lose their angry grass is over there.

SPEAKER_12 57:10

There's gotta be something said about like just being a bandwagon jumper and just jumping onto the winds, though, just finding the winning.

SPEAKER_07 57:16

That's my NFL fandom. I was stoked last year when Billy won. It's like the leaf shift. I'm still very excited for this tattoo if we can enter it.

SPEAKER_12 57:34

They've got a lot of shit to get together before they make it that far out.

SPEAKER_07 57:37

It's been rough. Did you hear about this? The the bet that's on sale? I don't think he was here for that. We're going way off topic here, but we're it is what it is. Uh, because Dave is a Steelers fan. Yeah. And our good buddy John Regard, also a very big Steelers fan. So we were at a guy's weekend at the cottage, started to talk about the Steelers. I just made that moment of just like, guys, there's they're not gonna do anything this year. They're they're awful. And then Johnny says, Well, would you be willing to make a wager that if they win the Super Bowl, you get a tattoo? All right, I'll make that wager. There's no way they're gonna win the Super Bowl, so whatever. So we have a picture of our buddy Johnny doing this stupid little face with his finger guns, and we made it into a tattoo, and then that's the tattoo. And then he said, Dave, would you get in on that too? He's like, Yep, so we shook on it. So me and Dave are both gonna get a tattoo of our buddy making a stupid face somewhere on our bodies, probably on the ass.

SPEAKER_09 58:26

You don't even have a tattoo, Dave. No, this could be his first tattoo.

SPEAKER_03 58:29

Your first and only tattoo out be the happiest camper in the world to get that.

SPEAKER_07 58:37

They're like a five and two or something like that right now.

SPEAKER_12 58:39

Yeah, but our division sucks. Division's awful.

SPEAKER_07 58:42

They're likely gonna at least make the playoffs, and then they can happen.

SPEAKER_12 58:45

Anything can happen. Aaron Rodgers is an old man, but maybe he can do something. We're not stopping at the passing game right now, which is not doing good things for us, but uh, you know, it can happen. It's been they're hard games to watch right now, but something to look forward to. Never know. The blue jays, though, on the end of the blue jays. And when you are listening to this episode, they'll either have won the world series. It's really the major and we'll have another conversation. So, um, to be fully transparent, we don't know when we're gonna record another episode. So just re-listen to this one. Go back, find some old episodes, listen to those. Um, but also like send us uh send us some messages if you've got any questions, things going on in your life right now, send us a DM on Instagram or on our Patreon, or if you just have our cell phone number, send us a message with any of your dad questions. We'd love to hear them, we love to know what's going on in your life. I know there's a lot of listeners who were expecting babies that are probably coming soon. Yep. Um, so let us know how that went. We are cheering for you, we are rooting for you. If there's any dads that have vasectomies on the way or standing by with you too, or lower back injuries.

SPEAKER_09 59:55

There's a lot of you out there.

SPEAKER_12 59:57

Oh, who was it that just told us a funny vasectomy story? A funny vasectomy story? Oh, there was a person, and we were relating because we had they had had the same person as somebody, and you were bonding over. Oh, yeah, that was me.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:11

Yeah.

Final Laugh: Hot Dog Eye Contact Rule

Closing Notes And Listener Callouts

SPEAKER_12 1:00:12

IRL? In real life, we had a random vasectomy story. It was funny. It just kind of connected life together. It's not our story to tell, it's theirs. But whatever you're going through in life right now, you know we're going through the shit too. So uh just send us a message and connect with us. Appreciate you all. Oh, yes. That would be a good story. Well, you're having a hot dog for dinner. Okay. So pick up your hot dogs. You can't pick it up like this. No, I'm not done. Put your condiments on your hot dog. Condiments. Now, how are you going to bite that hot dog? I want you to bite a hot dog. Bite a hot dog.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:53

Get after it. No, you don't hold a hot dog like that. You don't do the subject or down. That's what I'm talking about. A head tilt.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:00

You naturally will tilt your head when you're eating a hot dog.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:03

Sometimes I just go straight for it. And you make eye contact with no one. No. That is a rule. You cannot make eye contact.