Laugh Track: Headliner Ron Kenny Takes on Exercise, Drinking, and Cops

Ready for some weekend laughs? Scott Edwards delivers comedy gold with headliner Ronnie Kenny, a comedian whose impressive resume includes serving as house emcee at major clubs nationwide and numerous television appearances.

Kenny wastes no time connecting with audiences through his hilarious take on exercise avoidance. "Today I did a sit-up. Have you tried one of those lately? I got real lightheaded. I stopped that immediately, boy. I got up, grabbed a beer and a cigarette and laid back down again." His self-deprecating humor strikes a chord with anyone who's ever made half-hearted attempts at fitness.

The comedian then launches into a brilliant comparison of whiskey drinkers versus beer drinkers when confronted by police, showcasing whiskey drinkers' quick-witted excuses ("This is a stealth car. I bought it from the Air Force") against beer drinkers' hilariously incriminating honesty ("Of course I was speeding. I'm out of beer"). Kenny's observational skills shine brightest when tackling laws against drunk bicycle riding, where he imagines ridiculous PSA campaigns: "Friends don't let friends pedal drunk." His expert timing and delivery transform everyday absurdities into comedy gold.

Scott Edwards wraps up this bite-sized comedy treat by praising Kenny as "always great with audiences, always very funny." Visit www.standupyourhostandemcee.com for more information about the show, merchandise, sponsors, or to connect with Scott directly. Looking for your weekend laugh fix? This episode delivers exactly what you need!

Chapters

• 0:00 Scott Edwards Introduces the Show
• 0:43 Ronnie Kenny on Exercise Habits
• 1:37 Beer Drinkers vs Whiskey Drinkers
• 2:32 Police Encounters and Drunk Biking
• 3:32 Episode Wrap-up and Website Info

Transcript

announcer: 0:04

This is another episode of Stand-Up Comedy, your host and emcee Celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business Stories, interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and emcee, scott Edwards.

R. Scott Edwards: 0:21

Hey, ladies and gentlemen, ready to start your weekend with a little bit of comedy? I got something fun for you. This is a short comedy set from one of the best headliners ever to play my club. He was a house emcee at some major clubs around the country, did a fair amount of television and just damn funny. Ladies and gentlemen, here's a little comedy by Ronnie Kenny.

Ron Kenny: 0:43

Ladies and gentlemen, here's a little comedy by Ronnie Kenny. Thank you very much. Good to see you. I was excited about doing this. I think I got too excited. Today I did a sit-up. Have you tried one of those lately? I got real lightheaded. I stopped that immediately, boy. I got up, grabbed a beer and a cigarette and laid back down again.

Ron Kenny: 1:06

I'm not an exercise guy. You are what you eat. What's that supposed to mean? Do I look deep fried to you? People Got to get new friends. My friends are always bragging about their exercise. They're always going.

Ron Kenny: 1:18

Hey, Ronnie, I ran five miles today. That's great. I own a car. I drove 40 miles with a beer between my legs. All right, my buddies drink whiskey. I don't know if whiskey drinkers are smarter than beer drinkers, but they do think fast. They get great excuses to get out of trouble.

Ron Kenny: 1:44

It's like a cop pulls over a whiskey drinker. Do you know you were speeding? I got you going 85 there on the radar. That's impossible, sir. This is a stealth car. I bought it from the Air Force. You can't see it on the radar. Sorry to bother you. Go ahead there.

Ron Kenny: 1:58

The same cop pulls over a beer drinker. Do you know you were speeding? Uh, of course I was speeding. I'm out of beer. See, all these cans are empty in the back.

Ron Kenny: 2:12

Cops are serious anymore. Cops ask dumb questions or I don't know what the right answer is. I got pulled over recently. Cop says to me you always drive that fast? Uh, yes, sir, I do. I'm glad you finally stopped me. I was getting tired. Oh yeah, did you know you were leaving? I said yeah, but I thought I was doing darn well for somebody's as much to drink as I have. That last one's the wrong answer.

Ron Kenny: 2:48

There's nothing funny about drunk driving. We all agree with that. But there's a law that goes too far. It's in every state in the union. Did you know this? You can now be arrested for drunk driving on a bicycle. Yeah, that just amazes me. Was that a major problem in this country? Guys are selling crack, shoot and newsies. We can't get drunk and go for a bike ride. Can't wait to see these commercials. Think before you touch that kickstand If you've been drinking. Don't get behind those handlebars. Mister Friends, don't let friends pedal drunk. What happens? You're too drunk to get home. You call a toll-free number. A guy comes out on a bicycle built for two. All right, idiot, get on the bike.

R. Scott Edwards: 3:32

That was Ronnie Kenny, one of my favorite headliners. Always great with the audiences, always very funny. You have a great weekend.

announcer: 3:40

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Stand-Up Comedy your host and emcee. For information on the show, merchandise and our sponsors, or to send comments to Scott, visit our website at wwwstandupyourhostandemceecom. Look for more episodes soon and enjoy the world of stand-up comedy. Visit a comedy showroom near you.