Vehicular Manslaughter: Bob Worley's Hilarious Animal Encounters

Death has never been funnier as legendary road comic Bob Worley transforms roadkill encounters into comedy gold in this special Audience of One bonus show. 

Bob kicks things off with a perfectly executed misdirection, asking host Scott Edwards about those heart-stopping moments when animals dart in front of your car – only to reveal he's never experienced this himself and is shocked that Scott apparently has a history of vehicular animal slaughter. The comedy builds as Bob shares increasingly absurd scenarios, including a friend who hit a deer and proudly displayed its duct-taped antlers as a trophy.

The hilarity reaches new heights when Bob contemplates the physics of hitting a cow – "How does a cow dart out in front of your car? Don't they just mosey along?" His vivid descriptions of udder-hindered bovine movement will have you laughing despite yourself. The comedic climax arrives with Bob's confession about hitting a pigeon named "Billy" who tragically miscalculated his escape timing, followed by the other pigeons' pragmatic response to their friend's demise – "Oh, Billy didn't make it" – before proceeding to eat him in what Bob philosophically calls "the circle of life."

This episode showcases exactly why Bob Worley has been a comedy staple for over four decades. His ability to find humor in life's uncomfortable moments and deliver it with impeccable timing reminds us why dark comedy, when done right, creates some of the most memorable laughs. Subscribe now and enjoy more stand-up comedy from the famous and not-so-famous who've helped shape American comedy.

Chapters

• 0:00 Scott Edwards Introduces Bob Worley
• 0:52 Bob's Roadkill Stories Begin
• 1:40 The Tragic Tale of Billy
• 3:00 Closing Remarks and Goodbyes

Transcript

Announcer: 0:04

This is another episode of Stand-Up Comedy, your host and emcee Celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business Stories, interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and emcee, scott Edwards.

R. Scott Edwards: 0:21

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another special Audience of One bonus show and this week we're in for a treat. You've heard him many times on the podcast. One of the top road comics back from the 80s and 90s. He's done TV corporate and one of the funniest guys ever on stage. Ladies and gentlemen, my good friend, bob Worley. Thanks, scott, it's great to be here. Thanks for driving over and joining me in the studio. Got any funny for us, bob no.

Bob Worley: 0:52

I don't. Hey, scott, you know, driving over here today, have you ever been driving along and all of a sudden, like a I don't know a cat or a dog or a rabbit, whatever, darts out in front of your car and it's like boom, oh, geez, car. And it's like boom, oh geez. And right away you think to yourself, oh geez, maybe I just kind of skinned it. Did that ever happen to you? Oh yeah, yeah, that's a scary moment. Well, that never happened to me. It's terrible.

R. Scott Edwards: 1:16

I can't believe you actually killed an animal.

Bob Worley: 1:18

Shame on you. This is weird. A friend of mine actually said he had a deer once. A deer, yeah. But they were asking for it because they're standing right on the side of the road going oh, look at him, they're trying to dart out in front of you. Yeah, he took that thing home and just said whatever was left of it it's like a head was all busted up. He duct taped the antlers together. He was all proud too. He was like look at that, what is that Blue flopper? Hey, that's nothing. I was in Bakersfield once and somebody said they hit a cow, a cow, a cow. Now how does a cow dart out in front of your car? I mean, don't they just mosey along, they kind of that belt, ding, ding, ding, ding. I mean geez, I mean they may run that one time, but they got those big udders right.

R. Scott Edwards: 1:58

It's like oh slow down.

Bob Worley: 2:00

Everybody, oh Everybody. Oh man, that hurts. I'm going to have to ice that up later. And plus, how do you run over a cow? What do you like? Throw that in four-wheel drive, I think we're going to make it. It's like caught up on it, just rocking back and forth, get it rocking Crazy stuff.

R. Scott Edwards: 2:13

Yeah, that certainly paints a pretty picture.

Bob Worley: 2:18

Well, maybe to you, but not to me. Yeah, it's horrible. I hit a pigeon once A pigeon. Yeah, I felt pretty bad. You ever see them out in the middle of the road. They're out there eating something, you don't know what, and it's like the closer you get to them, the more you think to yourself well, they'll move. They always move right. And you feel like an idiot because you're hitting the brakes. This one didn't move, but he kept looking up like he could judge. Oh, I got plenty of time. Well, time ran out because by the time I got there, boom, horrible.

Bob Worley: 2:46

Oh, feathers flying I felt bad, and then all the other pigeons were like oh, billy didn't make it. And then they ran back out there and ate him. It's the circle of life.

R. Scott Edwards: 2:55

Scott oh man.

Bob Worley: 2:59

I feel bad for Billy. Oh, do you want me to keep going? Because that's it, that's all I got to say. I mean, I killed an animal. I feel bad.

R. Scott Edwards: 3:05

Oh well, ladies and gentlemen, I think that was some great material, if not a little heart-wrenching hearing about vehicles and animals.

Bob Worley: 3:14

He had a family, Scott A family.

R. Scott Edwards: 3:17

They were just animals and it's just comedy. Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for joining us for this special Audience of One bonus show. Thanks, Bob, I killed it. Bye.

Announcer: 3:29

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Stand Up Comedy, your host and emcee. For information on the show, merchandise and our sponsors, or to send comments to Scott, visit our website at wwwstandupyourhostandemceecom. Wwwstandupyourhostandemceecom. Look for more episodes soon and enjoy the world of stand-up comedy. Visit a comedy showroom near you.