Larry "Bubbles" Brown What more do you need? Show #21

Listen to some low key/very funny comedy from the man that has the record time between Letterman Show appearances...Larry "Bubbles" Brown. Good interview and a short comedy set by Larry, talking about his years in comedy and how he still performs today.

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Announcer 0:02

This is another episode of Stand Up Comedy, your host and MC, celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business. Stories, interviews, and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and MC, Scott Edwards.

Scott Edwards 0:19

Hello and welcome to this week's podcast. We have another exciting uh afternoon of comedy and interview. And this week I'm so lucky to be talking to uh one of the funniest guys out of the San Francisco Bay Area. You've seen him on uh Evening at the Improv, Make Me Laugh, and he's a regular on the David Letterman show. Right. We'll talk about that in a second. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Larry Bubbles Brown. Thank you. Wow, the crowd goes nuts. Good to hear from you, Scott. It's been a long time. Yeah, great to hear your voice and you sound just the same. So you're not aging at all, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:00

I haven't. Well, because I run six miles every other day. It's keeping me young.

Scott Edwards 1:04

Oh, actually, that's uh very uh athletic of you. I wish I was so motivated. I've not been good at running. I try to uh stay healthy by using that arm swing to get food to my mouth. So uh but uh Larry, we worked together in the early 80s, and we've had a chance to uh chat via email, and you reminded me of a couple stories.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

So we'll get into the stories. It was uh it was my first uh I've I'm pretty good on days. In fact, I can I came up with Milt Abel the last Sunday of March of 82. That's very specific. Yes, you had an audition, and Paula Poundstone was the headliner that week, and we both went up and we weren't quite ready. And then I remember I came back and my first uh my first week at laughs was uh June 22nd, 1983, and it was with uh Robert Schimmel was the middle. This is how long it is. Yeah.

Scott Edwards 2:04

Well, uh that's an astounding memory. I think you're the first one in my interviews to be able to peg the date and who you worked with.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

Uh it's yeah, I'm pretty good on dates, and I remember I worked with Schimmel, and uh he was very helpful. And that was my first road gig, it was very exciting. I kind of scared, and he was uh he was very encouraging.

Scott Edwards 2:21

Yeah, Robert uh comes across on stage as being pretty caustic, but actually off stage, he was one of the nicest guys to work with and um had a tremendous career in comedy. And I think it's really impressive to hear that he took the time to work with you. Uh, we were very lucky as a comedy club, being one of the first ones in the country doing that stuff, that uh there was a lot of kind of a learning curve, not only for me as a club owner and MC, but as the comics, uh a lot of people, Will Durst, Gary Shanling, there was a number of people, it was the very first road gig, but more important than that, a lot of young comics, and you mentioned yourself and uh Milt Abel, who ended up being headliners, had a chance to uh uh get started, get your feet wet in the business and kind of test the waters uh with the help and support of uh hopefully me and the club, but also the uh headliners and other comics. I think there is a certain amount of uh comedic camaraderie. Say that fast three times.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

Yeah, it was uh really it was really helpful to work with somebody like that. He was uh a great guy and had a tremendous career and a very odd life.

Scott Edwards 3:32

Yeah, definitely. And it was interesting that you said you came up and showcase with uh Milt Abel. Uh Milt and I are very good friends still, and we worked together just like you several times over the uh coming uh decades or years. Uh I what I did want to touch on something a little more personal. Uh you are not the most exuberant power-packed excitement on stage. No, no. You take a more dour approach to comedy, which makes you unique, but I've never known who gave you the nickname Bubbles. Or was that so?

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Oh, that was Paula Poundstone. Yeah.

Scott Edwards 4:12

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_03 4:14

She uh well, I'll tell you how it happened. Uh there's a documentary, I mean, it's called Three's Still Standing. It's about that San Francisco comedy boom of the 80s. It focuses on me and Durst and uh Johnny Steele. And uh one night at the Holy City Zoo, Paula Poundstone was uh hosting an open mic and I was doing a set, and for some reason I suggest suggested that me and her and another girl that worked at the zoo go to these these hot tubs down the street. And she thought that was so hysterical, so she started calling me bubbles.

Scott Edwards 4:45

And it stuck.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

And it stuck, and I never I never liked that name, but it kind of stuck. And I someone said, Well, it's it's good because people were people never remembered names, but they'll remember bubbles, so I kept it.

Scott Edwards 4:58

I didn't realize you didn't like it. I hope I wasn't insulting you all those years.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

But no, I've gotten to I like people call me bub now, that's fine, so you know.

Scott Edwards 5:07

Well, I don't, you know, and this is just my two cents. I never thought of you as bubbles like bubbles the monkey or something. You know, it it it went as a series, Larry Bubbles Brown. And to me, what I found, and I'm totally overread into it, but because your evervescent energy on stage, which it's really 180 of that, but I mean your deadpan presentation of comedy, the bubbles was kind of, you know, like you call a really big guy uh shorty or something, you know. Right, exactly. You know, that that bubbles gives the uh idea that you're gonna be uh evervescent on stage and it's just the opposite. You are really funny by being more deadpan, not not to the level of Stephen Wright, but uh definitely compared to some of the other acts.

SPEAKER_03 6:02

Uh right, because I think most I would say 95% of the acts then are very high energy, happy crowd pleasers, and so well, it was a different approach, but it worked for you. It worked for me. I think maybe I was because you know I was a little different, so maybe that helped. I don't know.

Scott Edwards 6:18

But well, I mean it it must have had some impact. I mean, Larry, you've been a successful stand-up comic. Uh, we were just alluding in the opening, you had two appearances on the David Letterman show, coincidentally setting a record being the biggest time difference between you had 20 years, uh 21 years. 21 years in between the two visits. And even though that's uh an interesting record to have with Letterman, it does really speak to that your success over 21 years. I mean, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:53

I guess I think just if you can make a living of this, you know that's how hard it is to make a living at this, so just hanging around that long, I guess, shows some success.

Scott Edwards 7:01

Well, certainly, and it's uh not an easy way to go. Um, I've been around comics and road work uh for you know four decades, and I think one of the hardest jobs in the world has to be a traveling entertainer, whether it's a musician, a comic, you name it. The work and the life on a road on the road is really challenging.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

Yeah, traveling's brutal, especially as you get older. So it's uh it's exhausting and expensive, and it's yeah, there's not a lot of fun about it.

Scott Edwards 7:38

Yeah, it is uh definitely something that um I never aspired to do or wanted to do. I did a few productions where I produce shows out of town and traveled for those, but that's a whole different beast from grinding through a week in some small town in the Midwest, and you have to get yourself there, you know, you know, sleep in a you know, sleep in a bed you don't know, uh you're living with people you don't really know for a week, and and then hopefully get enough money to get yourself home and have made a profit. I mean, it's it's uh I don't think a lot of my audience, uh non-entertainers would really understand the difficulties and the challenges of the road.

SPEAKER_03 8:24

Yeah, it's it sounds like it'd be fun, but it I think if people did it for a couple of weeks ago, hey, I want out of this.

Scott Edwards 8:30

Right, right. We all think it's really cool to stay in a hotel room, but imagine living in with one, you know, 300 days a year. Yeah, some people do that. Right. Although in it as we know, road comics rarely got a nice hotel.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Very rarely. At least you had at least you had a nice condo for it.

Scott Edwards 8:50

Yeah, you mentioned that in the email. You go ahead and tell the audience uh uh where you stayed when you were working at Laughs.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

Yeah, you had a uh it was a high-rise uh uh condo near the club. I remember we could walk to the club from there, I forget what street it was on, and uh I don't know if it was the first I think it was the second time I worked there. I n I came up and the room next to us, there were two guys in suits sitting in front of the door. That was weird. Then I came in and they uh one of the other comics told me, Oh, uh you know, gov the governor of California lives next to us. They were remodeling the governor's mansion, and the uh governor of California was next to three comedians, which uh how there wasn't an incident, I don't know how something bad didn't happen.

Scott Edwards 9:35

But yeah, it was interesting because it became the fodder of a lot of material on on stage, but uh luckily at the actual location uh there was no need for interaction between the uh local Secret Service and I believe it was Governor Duke Majin at the time.

SPEAKER_03 9:51

It was Duke Majin, yeah.

Scott Edwards 9:52

Yeah, and and the comics, which, like you said, uh could have been uh one of those fast-moving sitcoms.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

Or an arrest.

unknown 10:02

Right.

Scott Edwards 10:03

The crazy things. Now you mentioned you had a chance to work with uh Robert Schimmel. Uh didn't you also uh work with uh Angel Salazar?

SPEAKER_03 10:11

That was the uh let's see, I worked uh that was the fourth, third time I was at. That was March of 84. Yes, that was uh Angel Salazar, who he had just done uh the movie with uh you know where Al Pacino, the uh where he played Tony Montana, and he Angel had a part of the movie.

Scott Edwards 10:30

Right.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

Scarface, yeah, yeah. And uh he had a lot of resignation off that. And uh he was a fun guy.

Scott Edwards 10:37

That was interesting. We actually had used Angel a couple times before the movie, and in the movie Scarface, he played one of the thugs. Uh he is actually one of the last people to die in the movie, which is interesting, but it gave him some fame and notoriety that we were able to trade on in the few uh gigs that he worked after that. Uh interesting comic. He had he had a different style than you for sure. He was very high energy.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Oh, yeah. He came out, didn't he come out of the boom box?

Scott Edwards 11:08

Right, right. Very uh Hispanic uh street boom box on his shoulder, and he would strut out, and uh that's what kind of the basis of his character. He was playing off, you know, really who he was, uh uh Hispanic off the streets of LA uh doing stand-up comedy. Interesting. That was a huge movie, so oh yeah, no, no, definitely still is. Um, so you've uh certainly um uh over the last uh 30, 40 years had your uh experiences on the road. Is there any that stick out that were uh you especially unique?

SPEAKER_03 11:42

Uh let's see, I was in Colorado Springs with Mill Abel in uh 1986, and uh two uh the show was a Saturday night, uh sold-out show, first show, and uh right before the show uh a cop came in and said, uh someone just phoned in a bomb threat to your club. So they uh they they searched the club and uh they couldn't find anything, and and the show went on. They go, Well, the cops have the owner, it's your call, and the guy goes, I got a full house, we're doing the show. And they I remember the bomb was the bomb was they said it was gonna go off exactly the time I would have been on stage.

Scott Edwards 12:23

Well, it's nice that the owner was able to make uh a decision that uh affected your life. So what's interesting, Larry, uh there was twice in the history of Laughs Unlimited that we had bomb threats. But we we were not even so concerned as to call the cops. We just kind of made the determination on our own, which was probably really risky or stupid. But being in the comedy business and entertaining people and and you know, there's drunks and other uh reputable people that were regulars at the clubs. So getting the bomb threats didn't at the time pose. I mean, I was like the club owner you were working with. I just chose to take the risk. And in hindsight, maybe that was irresponsible, but you know, there never was a bomb, and we never uh in our case, we didn't even let the audience know or or interrupt the show. We just went ahead as planned.

SPEAKER_03 13:18

That was probably the best idea. I mean, people calling comedy clubs probably think, oh, this will be funny, you know.

Scott Edwards 13:23

So Right, right. And trying to just throw off uh the uh the whole evening for people. In in the case of yours, because the police showed up, so the audience and the comics, everybody was aware.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

They were people were asked, hey, what's going on? And they were the owner's, oh nothing, nothing, nothing, you know.

Scott Edwards 13:40

Sure, he doesn't want his audience to leave.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

Right, right.

Scott Edwards 13:44

Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

So you had uh I was trying to find out uh what year did you open that uh laugh unlimited?

Scott Edwards 13:50

Well, this whole podcast is celebrating uh 40 years on the fringe of show business. I opened in August of 1980. For those listeners that haven't heard the early episodes, I was working on a book about 40 years on the fringe of show business and working in comedy. Oh and my wife said, you know, you have all this great material, you should do a podcast. And I'm like, What's a podcast? But uh uh I've now uh gotten more knowledgeable. I listen to podcasts now, and I'm doing one now, and it seems like it's going over well. But it is a great way to interact with people like you that we haven't really had a reason to talk in over 20 years, and yet uh but just hearing your voice, to me, it's like we were together last month, you know, working on something. It time has no bearing.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

Well, I mean, I I love that club. It was a really fun place to work. It was uh you had good timing because I remember, God, they the crowds were pretty big during the week. On the weekend, the place was packed.

Scott Edwards 14:55

Yeah, we were very blessed in um catching the beginning of the wave. I call the eighties and nineties, but it was really the eighties, was the golden age of stand-up where there was when I opened my club, it was the sixth full-time comedy club in the country. But it was really the only one outside of a main, you know, Sacramento was the capital of the state, but it's not a very big city. We were really amongst just a few choices of entertainment back in 1980. Uh, and all the other clubs it had opened previous to me, uh, the improv, the comedy store, uh, catch a rising star, were in huge metropolises like LA, New York, Chicago. And having a club that was full-time comedy in Sacramento, um, and then eventually had the three clubs, Citrus Heights and Stockton, really kind of put us on the map, at least for the entertainers, because we could offer them more work and a lot more consistent work than uh other smaller chains or other, you know. Uh it's so funny because a lot of people don't realize that stand-up comedy really started in the dark, smoky rooms of jazz clubs where entertainers were thrown up to while the bands were setting up, you know, they were changing bands or changing musical entertainers. Uh hey, let's throw a comic up and and kill ten minutes.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Well, it was a great place. And who was the biggest? So you had Gary Sandling there?

Scott Edwards 16:23

He was my very first opening act uh in August 1980. He was it was his very first road gig out of Phoenix, Arizona. He was the opening act, and the headliner was George Wallace, who ended up having his own show in Vegas for a couple decades, and uh everybody knows him from uh early TV and stuff. But no, Gary Sandling was the opening act, and uh, but we were able to work with uh all of the best, including you, Larry. Now I do have a great set coming up that I want to share with the audience, but before we get to that, so Larry, was there any other uh interesting uh experiences while it laughs?

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Yeah, it's once uh I can tell you the date. I was working with uh uh David Feldman and Bobby Slayton. Two great comics.

Scott Edwards 17:10

David Feldman was always so bizarre.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

He did Feldo the Clown, yeah.

Scott Edwards 17:14

Feldocking the I forgot the name. Feldo the Clown was such unique, sometimes funny, sometimes not so funny, but it was this kind of kind of bitter, angry, drinking, cigar smoking clown that that kind of abused the audience. I thought it was hilarious. And then Slayton, he was always a killer. He was very funny.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

Probably the yeah, maybe the strongest club comic around then. I don't know.

Scott Edwards 17:42

Yeah, and still going strong. And so what happened that week?

SPEAKER_03 17:47

So uh Saturday, there's two two shows, they're both packed, and uh between shows, I'm out in that courtyard there, and I I see this older guy that looks familiar, and I said to David Feldman, I think that's John Mitchell. He was the attorney general under Richard Nixon.

Scott Edwards 18:03

Oh wow, John Mitchell the politician, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

Yeah, he was Watergate thing, and he was all up in that, and I uh tell him, 'cause you're crazy. I said, no, no, it's him. I I went over and we started talking. It was John Mitchell, and he was I don't know if he he was there for the show. I don't know if he liked it or not, but it was such a bizarre, such a bizarre character to see at a comedy show. And he's actually a pretty nice guy.

Scott Edwards 18:25

That is such a I don't remember it, so I may not have even caught on that he was there. We used to, we were right next door to the firehouse restaurant, which was a big political encampment as far as restaurants go.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

And yeah, I think he may have been eating there, but he was uh hanging out.

Scott Edwards 18:42

Yeah, and what's interesting is that uh you mentioned we had Governor Duke Majin next door, John Mitchell in the audience. Over the years, we actually had some pretty interesting uh guest members or uh audience members, but uh that must have been an interesting conversation for you and David.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

Yeah, I just remember Feldman was he was in awe, his head was popping off, and I was just uh wow, that's kind of weird. But I just remember he's a really nice guy.

Scott Edwards 19:10

That's great. Well, that's uh uh a nice little bit of history I wasn't aware of. Well, thanks for sharing that, Larry.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

Yeah, that's what I got memories.

Scott Edwards 19:20

Yeah, well, you never know what's gonna happen in a comedy club audience, right?

SPEAKER_04 19:24

Yeah.

Scott Edwards 19:26

All right. Finish this interview. You also were coming up in the beginning of the wave of comedy, but you were focused in the Bay Area. But that means you got a chance to work with Paula Poundstone, Robin Williams, and a number of others. What was it like working the other cafe or the Holy City Zoo and some of those clubs in the Bay Area at the time?

SPEAKER_03 19:51

It was it was pretty incredible. Like if the names you and Dana Carvey, just the uh the amount of talent that was here was really uh fantastic. So it was kind of intimidating. You see uh some of these guys, I was talking to uh Dana Carvey, he said the first time he was going to San Francisco State and he wanted to do stand-up comedy, threatened to funny, so he went up to the Holy City Zoo and he walked in and he said, This guy's on the stage just killing it. He's lighting the room up so bad. Dana went home. He said, I don't think I'm I can't be that funny. It turns out the first guy he ever saw at an open mic was Robin Williams.

Scott Edwards 20:23

Oh, I hadn't heard that story. Yeah, that that would be a little intimidating, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_03 20:30

So he came back later and then he actually interviewed Robin for the school paper.

Scott Edwards 20:36

Oh, how funny. I didn't know that. That's interesting. Now, you being more low-key, obviously you must have shared a stage with Robin over the years. Was that ever um difficult or interesting?

SPEAKER_03 20:49

He always he always liked me. He's always very cool to me, and I just think, yeah, talk about a a different level of energy. Uh it's just uh but he liked I think he liked my joke writing or something, and uh but he was uh super supportive of me in most comics. He was uh probably the nicest person I've ever met.

Scott Edwards 21:10

Well, I have found that sometimes the bigger the act, the more they appreciate the people under them that are following in the same path. I had a similar experience not only with Robin, but with Harry Anderson, George Wallace, and a few others that were already done. They made it, you know, they were name acts, and they always took the time to talk to their peers. And even though people like you weren't uh uh as famous or popular as is Robin, for example, in his mind, you were just another comic like he was, and he respected that and appreciated that.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

Yeah, and I think he liked comedy so much. He just wanted to he just really wanted to promote comedy and get people into it and help them if he could, and he did.

Scott Edwards 21:56

Oh, that's great. Well, you mentioned uh what a good writer you are. So I think we'll share right now. Um, I have a set of Larry Bubbles Brown. I'm gonna play it now, but I wanted to say thanks, Larry, for uh coming on the podcast, sharing some of your great memory. Boy, you were pulling out names and dates.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

I got a good memory for dates, yeah. And uh I if if I could ask you a few more questions before we go. Uh oh, sure.

Scott Edwards 22:21

You have questions for me, that's unusual.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

Can you have a big I seem to recall some picture you had? It was uh it was like three comics. I think it was Dennis Miller and maybe Joel Hodgson and somebody. It was a great picture, and it was in front of I think you had it out in the lobby of the club. Do you remember that?

Scott Edwards 22:38

Well, we had several. Joel Hodgson, um, who did mystery science theater, and of course uh Dennis Miller, who everybody knows, but there was a lot of pictures. I don't remember a specific Okay, uh God loves me.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

I wish I could find it. I think it was Joel and Dennis and one other guy, but it was a great picture.

Scott Edwards 22:56

Oh, that's great. Well then thanks for remembering. What was the other?

SPEAKER_03 23:00

The other thing was in the green room, did I think this is the first time I ever played, did you have the one of the first Pong games? Yes.

Scott Edwards 23:08

We had a table version.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

Yeah, because we used to play that before we go on stage.

Scott Edwards 23:13

We had uh I'm a big video gamer, and back in the 80s, video games, kind of like comedy, was really taking off. And I owned one of the first table pong games. And for those people that are under 50 years old, pong was basically uh a paddle or line that you would move right or left.

SPEAKER_03 23:33

Yeah, black and white.

Scott Edwards 23:34

It was black and white, and it was and all you try you were basically paying playing tennis or ping pong, trying to move this dot back and forth. And I had a very unique uh cocktail table version which I had picked up and it was already historic when I bought it, and I had it in the club, and then um we moved it back to the green room because uh we needed space in the front lobby. And it was like that, and I had an antique Coke machine that actually worked in the green room.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

And it was I remember that I drank out like crazy.

Scott Edwards 24:08

And it was things like that that um were interesting to me, and I uh was you know doing well at this point at the club and picked up and we always tried to treat the comics better than well, I don't know if that's maybe the right way to put it. We always tried to treat the comics well.

SPEAKER_03 24:28

You did, and a lot of a lot of clubs didn't. You got a couple of clubs that are nasty to be on the we won't name names, but there were a couple that were notorious.

Scott Edwards 24:38

Oh yeah, there there's some notorious stories about uh road clubs. Well, the problem was that in some of the c clubs they they treated the comics like this week's meat. You know, you know, they're just gonna be here for a few days. Let's get them in, get them out. Uh we're not gonna treat them well, we're not gonna pay them well. They're ne we didn't you know, they didn't put them up in good facilities. And I don't want to brag, but we tried to have either a nice condo or a house. We provided a car for the comics for many years, which pretty much nobody did. We always tried to treat everybody like family, and we've talked about in some of the other podcasts. We used to uh uh take comics out on the boat, or uh Paula Poundstone, for example, has been out on my boat a couple times. We used to take the comics bowling. So there were different things that we tried to offer to make the week at Laughs Unlimited a little less painful and a little less lonely than the uh average road gig could be. Hopefully you found some comfort in uh in some sense of welcoming when you came to the club.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

Oh, I I always look forward to coming up there. I still I feel like Sacramento. It was a fun place.

Scott Edwards 25:46

Yeah. Well, hey, thanks so much for uh being on the podcast today, Larry. Congratulations on your 40 plus years in show business.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

39. I haven't hit 40 yet. It's 39.

Scott Edwards 25:58

Yeah, I don't want to age.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

March 3rd, 81, my first set.

Scott Edwards 26:02

Oh, really? March 3rd of 81. Okay, well, since you're so good at dates, you've got it down. So, ladies and gentlemen, congratulations to Larry Bubbles Brown for uh 39 years of comedy. And here's a comedy set of Larry. Larry again, thanks again, and we'll talk soon.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

Thanks for having me, Scott. Great hearing from you.

Scott Edwards 26:21

All right, ladies and gentlemen, sit back, relax, and enjoy this great comedy set from Larry Bubbles Brown.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Calm down, Mr. Fun's here. I know what you're all thinking. Looks like Rain Man and E.T. had a baby. Boy, it just keeps getting better. Someone stole my identity. Now he has no life. I'm trying to donate my body to science. They said, try goodwill. Finances are in shambles. I dropped out of college thinking Wiffleball was going pro. You know things are bad when you're trying to uh get on jury duty for the cash. It's uh not against science. Twelve dollars a day, pick me. Professional people are killing me. I'm getting my physical. My doctor says, I need a list of all the women you've had sex with. Oh man, do I have a disease? He goes, No, but if you get him in bed, I know I can. Should I practice safe sex? He goes, if I were you, I'd take what I could get. Told him I wanted to die with dignity, he gave me a tie. He got me so depressed, I went next door to the therapist. She listened for five minutes, said, Larry, maybe life isn't for everyone. Well, if you're depressed, I can put you on Prozac, but I got a warning, it's gonna slow down your sex drive. Slow down my sex drive? That's like putting a leash in a turtle. Give me the pill. Then I'm talking to this Lori. He goes, Do you have a will? I said, to live? No, you gotta have a will. Do you want your relatives fighting over your possessions? Yeah, the 84 Fiero with the Dukakis for president bumper sticker. I sense a lot of appeals on that one. All my friends are married. They say, you gotta get married. Do you want to die alone? No, I want to take you with me. Well, do you know what it's like to be married? I think so, because once I sat in a bear trap. Gays are getting married. Haven't they suffered enough? You can get mail order brides in this day and age. Mail order brides, my luck, she'd choke in the styrofoam packing. Return to sender. No, you should get married because you get older, your kids will take care of you. Does that ever happen? I'll be 90 in my wheelchair, the kids will be standing over me. What's the pin number? Where's the money, old man? Thank you. Okay. You should get a tax break for not having children. They pay farmers not to grow stuff. Now we're cloning human beings. That's like counterfeiting pennies. I like kids though. I used to think I was a gifted child because my parents kept me in a box. Well, summer's here, and like you, my thoughts turn to death. Wouldn't it be neat if you knew what day you're gonna die, but not the year. Politics, man. I finally figured politics out. An oil man became president and an oil man and gas went to four fifty a gallon. I hope we never elect a pimp. You guys have been great, thank you.

Announcer 31:42

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