A'int No Lollygagging in this Kingdom

Big doors don’t move without small hinges.
This episode unpacks the daily “hinges” that decide whether your calling ever opens. We share the advice we’d give our younger selves about confidence, approval, and tuning our ears to God’s voice over the crowd’s.

From there, we face the quiet saboteurs - pride that hides as humility, distraction that dulls our purpose, and gossip that splinters unity. Through stories, Scripture, and real talk, we explore humility, stewardship, submission, and practical steps to rebuild trust when the hinges start to rust.

If you’re ready to strengthen the small things that carry big callings, this conversation gives you the language, the Scriptures, and the next steps to start today.

 Follow, share, and tell us: what hinge are you working on this week?

Contact What's the Point?

• Email jonathan.walton@point.church
• Watch live or recorded services at https://www.point.church/

Please take a moment to leave us a rating and review the podcast! Thank you!

Transcript

Intro - Advice to Younger Selves

SPEAKER_00 0:14

What's up everyone? Welcome back to the Five Kids in a Calling Podcast. I'm your host, Audre Angéle. With me is Hudson Walton.

SPEAKER_05 0:20

Hey guys.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Andrea Crater. Hi guys. Ramsey Pavlu. Hey, and Lincoln Societ.

SPEAKER_05 0:24

Hey guys.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

So, guys, what is one piece of advice that you wish you could give to your younger self?

SPEAKER_05 0:31

If I had to give advice to my younger self, I think it would be stop being so self-conscious because people aren't looking at you as much as you think they're looking at you. And I used to struggle with that a lot. Like I used to have like no friends, bro. I was like, man, all those people they're looking at me. They think I'm weird. They think I'm stinky. No, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

Stinky? Self-consciousness. Well, dude, like that's like those are the thoughts you have.

SPEAKER_05 0:56

You just you get so self-conscious for no reason. So I'd have been like, Hudson, dude, they're really not looking at you. Like, just be confident, you know? Have confident in yourself and who God made you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Because everybody's worried about themselves, honestly. Like, yeah. Everybody's thinking the exact same thing. And I think we all spend so much time thinking, like, oh no, they're worried about me that you don't even look at the other person who's thinking that you're looking at them. Yeah. And they're not looking at you when you think they're looking at you.

SPEAKER_05 1:19

Dude, these people out there, they do not care about you. Especially if it's like you're just going throughout your day. Yeah, right. But you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

They're just like you're a background character in their movie. You're there for like two seconds of their life. Like they don't care.

SPEAKER_07 1:30

I'd probably give Little Lincoln a hug and tell him God is good, brother. Poor little Lincoln. Bro needed that hug.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Hugs. I love hugs. Hugs are so good.

SPEAKER_05 1:41

Little Lincoln would have loved a hug. That's a tongue twister. Little Lincoln, little Little Lincoln would have loved a hug. Alright, moving on.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Mine's in the same vein as Hudson's. It's like, I wish I could have told myself to just like say what your opinion is. Because I used to be so worried about like when other people start saying something to like the question asked, and I think I got like the wrong point of it. And so yeah, mine is just a like say what's on your mind, girl.

SPEAKER_03 2:03

Yeah, that's what I would say. That's so good. Um, if I had to pick one, it'd probably be just trust God no matter what, because even though you can't see his plan for like working out right in front of you, it's still working. Because it yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:17

That's a really good one.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

I would tell my younger self that not everyone will like you, and that is okay. Because that's when until I got in maybe third grade, I was like a teacher's pet. Like the teachers were always so sweet to me. I was the best. I was like, yes, they love me. Like, this is gonna be like this forever. And then I got a mega, I don't know if you call it a culture shock or what, but I was slapped in the face, humbled when I got to like fourth grade. Those teachers did not care. Like, they don't care. Mine loved me. And I was like, what? No, like they still liked me, but I wasn't a favorite anymore. Like I was like favorite always.

SPEAKER_05 2:51

Was it until I got there? Or them?

SPEAKER_00 2:53

No, it was them. It was like, I think they were trying to like raise us to be more like independent rather than like, you know, need the teacher's approval all the time. And I just didn't know that was gonna happen. And so I was really upset that whole year. So anyway, but also just goes into real life. Like nobody like not everyone's gonna like you, and that's okay. Don't waste your time trying to win over the approval of people whose opinions don't matter.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

All right.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Amen, amen.

SPEAKER_05 3:14

Being a people pleaser is not fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

No, not at all.

SPEAKER_05 3:17

It's not healthy. Nope.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

I agree. So anyway.

Sermon Thoughts: Small Hinges Big Doors

SPEAKER_05 3:20

We're all in agreement.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Yes. Let's talk about the sermon from Sunday.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

So we talked about, or not we, Pastor Jared talked about stumbling blocks in the same vein. He continued his series on stumbling blocks. He talked about big doors, small hinges, and he opened up by setting the groundwork and introducing the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California. Could not remember that. But it's this laboratory in California, and they have this research facility where they have a massive uh steel door, like a vault door, 90 yeah, like a vault door, 97,000 pounds, which is insane. And it's like some spectacle, like people will go there just to take pictures of a door, I guess, but it's like a spectacle because it's so huge. But he was pointing out how even though this door is massive, um, it's nothing without the hinges on the side. The door moves because of the hinges, and he used that as an analogy to show that the big doors in our life, like our calling, if you don't look out for the smaller hinges that actually make the door operate, then the door just won't work.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

One thing that I really love that he said was the enemy will not always break down the door, he'll he'll attack the hinge. And I was like, that is so good.

SPEAKER_05 4:40

Because yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

Like, let's take the big old door in Livermore, that rhymes, for example. Um, the enemy might not always break down the big old door, but he'll attack the small hinge to where that door is no longer operational. You know? So I thought that was really cool.

SPEAKER_07 4:56

Yeah, yeah, that's the point that I really liked about it. He how it uh when you break down the hinge, it makes a door ineffective. Yeah. Uh I've personally seen that to be true in my life for sure. I've focused so much on the door that I I cast it away or looked over the little hinges that make the door operate. Um it's it's really important to stay prayed up and uh consistently fighting in the spiritual world because the devil does attack the little things that we do overlook. But uh 1 John 4 4 reminds us it's a good faith builder. It says, Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. So that's a little reminder that even though the devil does seem to sometimes win over the hinges, you gotta look at who's still in control of the big door and know that he will help you battle for the hinges. Yeah, so good.

SPEAKER_05 5:46

And that's actually one of the that's actually one of the points that Pastor Jared brought up, talking about uh like prayer and fasting, staying prayed up, like you so eloquently just put it. Prayed up. But one of the hinges the enemy can and will attack is prayer and devotion. Um I mean, let's face it, if the door is your calling and your hinges aren't oiled with prayer and devotion, this door ain't moving. They're gonna rust it's not going anywhere.

SPEAKER_07 6:09

Yeah, and I feel like when we get discouraged, sometimes our consistency goes away.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Yeah, it slacks a lot. That's a big one because like you can be consistent until the sun goes down, or well, the sun always goes down, but you know what I mean. Until you hit a bump in the road, and then all of a sudden, like you your life like shatters, and then you go in all different directions. And so the devil really likes to mess up our consistency because consistency is where relationship and like power comes from. Not saying that the Lord gives us our the power, yeah. That's what I'm saying. I really love how Pastor Jared put it. Whenever we neglect prayer, we rust all of our hinges because our lives are supposed to be built on the foundation of the Lord and on the foundation of prayer and devotion. And if we don't do that, then everything else falls apart. And he explained frustration replaces your peace and exhaustion replaces your strength. Because I feel like a lot of the times we are asking God for peace and we're asking God for strength. But in reality, are we praying? Yeah, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:09

I say like a 50-50 most of the times. If we're honest, the answer is no. Yeah. And we're praying for a problem that we could be solving.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:16

Just food for thought, guys. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:18

And the devil loves that's a good one. And the devil loves to throw like distractions in our lives. And we're s our world is so full of distractions. Like we all have social media for the most part, or like if you're a young adult, you have you probably have social media or some form of it, or you're in school, or you know, friends, family, anything. The devil will use anything to distract you from being devoted in your prayer life and all these things.

SPEAKER_05 7:44

Yeah, that's another uh that's another hinge that the enemy will attack that Pastor Jared pointed out being your focus. Um, especially in this day and age, with like you just said, Andrea, social media, it is so easy to lose focus for anything. Like I'll go home after church, I'll pull out my phone, then boom, snap. Two hours are gone.

SPEAKER_06 8:06

Start doom scrolling, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:07

And I've been on Instagram for two hours. Yeah, yeah. And it's not just a one-time thing. That can become a habit. And it'll so easily take over all your free time and you've lost focus. And the door isn't working anymore. How'd this happen?

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Your hinge is rusted. One of the points I really like that he made was when he said where you're looking is where you're going. And so if you're not focused on God, you're not gonna be fully following him. Like it he may just you go to church on Sunday, but if you're focused on like sports or if you're focused on your career or anything, that's where your mind's gonna be most of the time. So you have to watch what you're focused on, make sure you're looking towards God.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

And I think it's also like it's important to focus on like things like your career, but it's like it's really important to have that balance of like I not church and home, but like I guess you could say like God should come first. Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

Like your priorities.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Yeah, check your priorities, but don't just completely neglect everything else in your life because you're like, I think God's got this, and then yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Yeah, I think what happens is a lot of people start thinking that they can take what like their future looks like into their own hands. So they'll start putting all their efforts and mental like mental ability into their future. And I think what you really should just be doing is praying about it and asking God where you're supposed to be going instead of trying to do it on your own.

SPEAKER_05 9:22

Yeah, uh that goes right into pride.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

That's another one that's one of the hinges. Pastor Jr.

SPEAKER_05 9:26

said the enemy will attack is just pride, because the hinges won't work if you're too prideful to let them work.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Like because God can't use what pride consumes. I love that. That's what he said, and I was like, wow.

SPEAKER_05 9:38

That is so faxed.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

It's so cool. Something about the pride that tied into what we talked about was it last podcast? Was he talked about brother AJ, Pastor AJ, when he was like, it doesn't matter how bad a message is or how new a person is speaking, like how new the person speaking is, it's he doesn't have that pride. He has the hum humility in him to know that there's always something in the message that could be taught and he can learn from. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:05

Like that's a that's a really good example of how pride can like misconstrue uh the word of God in our lives. Because I'm not a preacher like Pastor uh Holloway, but if I was I could very easily go to a service and be like, this is a 17-year-old kid preaching a message. Why would I listen to this? Yeah, like this is gonna be horrible. But it's literally the word of God being spoken, and so now you've let pride override the word of God in your life.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Yeah. And like back to what y'all were saying about God cannot um use what pride controls. So he was talking about, you know, um like how people view like pride, and then there's like views of humility, but then there's like a wrong view of humility. So he was saying how like pride would say, I have earned this, humility would say I have been trusted with this. But what people think humility is, is saying, like, you should see how horrible I really am. Like, I'm not all perfect, I'm horrible. And that's horrible because if you do that, then the devil won't even have to worry about you because you're tearing yourself down all on your own. Yeah, you're taking yourself out. Like, don't self-sabotage yourself and say, I'm not good enough for this, I don't deserve this. Like, it's not about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Self-sabotaging is just as bad as pride.

SPEAKER_05 11:10

Like, at least let your enemy be the devil. Don't be your humanity. Don't be your enemy.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

Yeah, because humility in reality is just acknowledging that in reality, we can't do anything without God. Like, God gives us the ability for everything. And in order to stay humble, we have to give God all of the glory because everything that you're good at, God has allowed you to be good at. He's given you all your talents and everything.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Yeah, I also think it's important to um take care of what he's given you too. I think that's a big thing that you could be, well, he's given me this, like lollygagon with it, but you have to really take care of what he's given you, the gift he's given you, to put it towards the calling he's given you.

SPEAKER_05 11:48

Ain't no lollygagin in this kingdom. It's just not gonna work.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

And that goes, that kind of relates to like the parable of the talents in the Bible where a master left and he left his servants each a certain number of talents, and one servant went and buried it, and then the others um grew it. And so whenever the master came back, the servants who had grew their their money, the talent that he gave them, um, they got rewarded. But the servant that did not grow his talent, he just buried it, he was rebuked because what God gives us, what he um allows us to possess, it's our responsibility to take that and steward it into more. Because we are called to grow in this life. We're not called to just stay stagnant. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 12:35

And it's very important to stay faithful in the little uh things that seem little because nothing really is little. Yeah, yeah. But you need to stay faithful in little things so God can trust you to stay faithful in the bigger things.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

Yeah, and that's kind of like the hinges. The hinges are the small, insignificant things that are we think are small and insignificant, but it makes the big it holds up the big door and it lets it be operational. And if we don't tend to the hinge, then we won't be able to operate in the big door things. Yeah. The big door things are.

SPEAKER_05 13:05

I just think it's pretty cool that over the past few weeks at our church, we've had Pastor Jared, Pastor Jonathan, and Pastor AJ Holloway all hit on pride without talking to each other.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Like in vain.

SPEAKER_05 13:17

Thank you. Food for thought, guys. God's probably trying to talk to us about pride. Just maybe though. Can't confirm.

SPEAKER_03 13:25

Slight possibility. Because pride can be hard to miss. I mean, not hard to miss, hard to like see it in your life. Recognize within ourselves.

SPEAKER_05 13:32

If you're the prideful one, then it's like impossible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

One of the points that I really liked is when he said, if you ever wonder if you have pride, is look at how you act when you get corrected. Are you willing to learn from your mistakes or are you not wanting to hear it and just pushing it off and like, I don't like that, I'm not gonna listen to it. Or the messages that the pastor speaking, just not speaking to you anymore because you don't want to hear what the correction is.

SPEAKER_05 13:54

Yeah, like if you go to uh church Sunday and you're listening to the message and you're like, I don't even really have to pay attention, like I've got this together.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:02

Then you're probably prideful just just saying it, like maybe a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Something until they have it. Just a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 14:08

Sorry, like you got some pride in there somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

I loved when he said um the enemy knows that distraction is often more effective than destruction. So pretty much all the devil has to do is get your eyes off the prize and you're gonna you're gonna destroy yourself. Like I was saying earlier, like all like being self-destructive and what was it? What was the word that we were? Self-sabotage? Self-sabotage, yeah. When you self-sabotage yourself and you like you just you easily get distracted, then you're gonna destroy yourself on your all on your own. Because if your sinner and your main focus is not God, and he is not the center of everything in your life, you are always going to fall. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:46

Yeah, like if you're if your main focus isn't God, then like you're kind of already out of the game. Like you're not even you're not even really a part of God's plan for your life if your main focus isn't God. Yeah. Like you gotta get it together.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Like Lot's wife, he mentioned that story was she was focused on what Solomon Gomorrah. Is that what it's like? Yeah, yeah. Well, what she was focused on that and not like looking forward. And so when she turned back, she turned into the pillar of salt because she wasn't focused on what God had called them to be. She was focused on her past.

SPEAKER_05 15:16

It was her focus. Um, Pastor Jared also talked about Alexander the Great's horse. I really like that example. How it was this horse that was like there were a group of guys trying to tame it, no one could tame it. It was like fighting everyone and being rambunctious. That's a fun word. But no one could tame it. And Alexander the Great was what, just twelve? He was just a boy, and he noticed that the horse was scared of its own shadow, not the people around it. So he just took the horse by the reins, turned it around, and it calmed down, and then he got on it and tamed the horse. And that horse went on to be with him throughout all of Alexander the Great's conquest. And so this horse that was destined for greatness and all these incredible things, it was being held back by the past, but looking at its own shadow. And that could definitely be a lot of us, I feel like.

SPEAKER_03 16:09

Yeah. One thing that I love pastor that Pastor Jared said, which ties into the horse, um, is if I am reaching for what he is removing, then I will not be able to hold what he is trying to give me next. It's good. And I was like, that's so real. Because just like Lot's wife, she was told to run away for her life and to not look back to her past or to the evil that was behind her. She was supposed to be looking to what God was gonna give her next. But she turned around because her she was trying to hold on to her past so much. That was a wicked city, yeah, that it ended up costing her her life.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Speaking of that, did y'all see that like an archaeologist found it or something? Found like a statue, like the like her apparently looking back at the city. Did y'all see that? I saw a video on my sins.

SPEAKER_07 16:52

They found some sulfur balls too.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Yeah, and they were like proving that it's real. That was cool. We already knew that, but it's nice to see some outside evidence.

SPEAKER_05 17:02

Yeah. But um Pastor Jared also talked about character, how character is another big character hand that the enemy can attack. That is a big point.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

That's a big point.

SPEAKER_05 17:12

But basically, um the enemy will look at the big door in your life, and a lot of the times he's not gonna be able to just make the door disappear. But if he can try to kick it in. Yeah, that too. But he can definitely go and attack your character, and pride ties into character. We were just talking about pride. If you're prideful, that's a very pretty nasty character trait. And so the door is inoperable if you have bad character.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Um, and Pastor Jared mentioned Gehazi, which is the servant of Elisha, and he was being set up to be the next prophet after Elisha, but whenever, um, in reality, whenever the test of his character came, he lied two times to get the reward. One to the man who was giving him something, and then also to the prophet Elisha. And Elisha looked at him and he was like, This is this is it for you because your character has not passed the test. Um, and Pastor Jared also said, our character is most revealed in how we handle people when they cannot help me, when they cannot support me, or whenever we think they are quote unquote beneath us. So like we're title. Yeah, whenever we think we're better than them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:22

Yeah, like how you treat people, how you act behind closed doors. When you think no one's listening. That's the real test of character.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 18:29

Another powerful point he made, um, Pastor Jared said attachment to comfort is what causes us to stop growing. Yeah. I like when he said that a lot. And he also used himself as an example. He said that uh he is oftentimes, well, every time he's on the stage, he's out of his comfort zone because he's not a very he's not he doesn't like public speaking.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

He won't be comfortable until he gets to heaven.

SPEAKER_07 18:50

Yeah, so yeah, that's what he said. So um I like how even through his uncomfort he's remained faithful in uh leading us into what God has called him to do for us. So uh maybe it's greeting on Sunday because you're an introvert or preaching on a stage that you're terrified of. Being uncomfortable, being uncomfortable and having fear is not the bad thing. It's what you do with the fear that becomes bad. Do you let the fear hold you back from what God's called you to do? Yeah. Or do you take that fear and like like uh first John 4 4 says, Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. Yeah. So that was just a little something I liked about that point you made.

SPEAKER_05 19:29

Being uncomfortable isn't a bad thing, like not at all. It's just part of being human.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

It's part of growing.

SPEAKER_05 19:34

Like if you are a preacher, you're most likely gonna be uncomfortable every single time before you get up there. Yeah. Like, that's just how we're wired as humans. Um, being uncomfortable doesn't mean that you have some shortcomings and that you're not fulfilling what God wants you to do. Being uncomfortable is just normal. Yeah. So you can't let being uncomfortable dissuade you.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

And Pastor Jared said sometimes we're not bound by sin, but by familiar familiarity. Familiarity? Familiarity. I don't I didn't say that right. But it's it goes the same thing. Sometimes we're not bound by our own sin, but we're bound by being comfortable.

SPEAKER_05 20:08

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

Because whenever God's asking us to get out of our comfort zone and to do something that we don't necessarily like and we refuse not to do it because, like Lincoln said, we're scared or we don't know how people are gonna react or something. That's that's sin, guys, because that's disobedience. And it's it's very scary whenever God asks you to do something that's outside of your comfort zone. But you just gotta take the big old leap and be like, all right, I'll jump because you got me.

SPEAKER_07 20:32

Yeah, and you have to remember that his ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are higher than our our thoughts. I like when Isaiah says that in uh chapter 55. I like when you said that.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Yeah, that was good. Also, I think it's important to make sure you're never actually comfortable because I think once you get comfortable, you just it's you have to make sure that you're always not okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

You get complacent when you're don't comfortable comfortable.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Always make sure that you're not feeling like you're just riding the wave. Always try and put yourself out there so you're not stuck.

SPEAKER_05 21:04

In your gifts, what working in your gifts that God has given you. Um like like you were saying, just never just sit idle and just be like, I've done this much, I'm comfortable here, I'm just gonna ride this out and go on autopilot. Pastor Jared never would have become the pastor of our church if he was like, you know, I'm a pretty good uh drummer. I'm a pretty good sound guy, I'm just gonna stay here. Yeah, but that's your dad.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

I know, literally, like how anyways.

SPEAKER_05 21:30

But yeah, I like how Pastor Jared tied it all together at the end with submission. He talked about how submission that's like the key pretty much that the basis. It's like the hinge of all hinges. Like the door screws forget the door wouldn't exist without the hinge of submission because it all starts there. Like you don't get a calling if you don't submit first.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Like And he mentioned how he read the um verse in the Bible how the pastor is like the watchman of the people's souls, and like we don't understand how much of a burden and how how much our pastor goes through on a daily basis just for our souls and just to keep watch over us. Because like he'll have like every pastor is gonna have to answer to God. Well, like everyone has their own ministry, right? And so they'll have to answer to God on things, but like he'll have to answer to God on how he led his sheep, which is the church. And um a lot of people just don't well, we can't really understand because like we're not pastors, like we you know what I mean, but um a lot of people just don't understand how much of a weight he has, and whenever we submit to what he has already prayed about and fasted about with the pastoral staff and with the church, it makes his job a whole lot easier.

SPEAKER_05 22:47

Yeah, you should definitely be submitting to your pastoral leadership, even if you don't necessarily agree with everything they say.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

Um just trust that he's guiding you the right way.

SPEAKER_05 22:57

Yeah, like that's the that's the spiritual authority over your life. And if you start to hold resentment because you disagree, that's not a very safe place to be.

SPEAKER_03 23:08

Back to forgiveness, you gotta forgive. That was a hinge too, the hinge of forgiveness. But if you don't forgive, like that it builds resentment in your heart and then it bridges a gap between you and the other person, and then that just disunifies like the church or your family or something, and the will of God is for us to be unified. Because that's a that's a big theme in the Bible is unity. And his scripture that he called that he he said in the beginning was like, if um any of you like cause these little children to stumble, it'd be better for you to drown in a sea with a stone tied around your neck than to not cause them to stumble. And for not forgiving someone is a big stumbling bottle.

SPEAKER_05 23:46

Yeah, so we're big on not doing that, guys.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

Um you don't want to drown.

What is Gossip?

SPEAKER_05 23:51

Don't don't do it and don't let them put the stone around your head because you did something bad. Just forgive people. Yeah, just forgive people. Don't cause anyone to stumble, guys. So we've talked about the message for a bit and we've talked about all these hinges. I think another a hinge that he talked about a little bit in the message, I think we could go into a lot of detail on. I think we should talk about gossip. Gossip is a pretty big hinge. I think like we all know what it is, but a lot of us don't know. Like, what is gossip? How does gossip happen? Like, how does it affect me if I gossip? How does it affect the people around me in my church if we gossip? Like, I think we should talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 24:47

Um, the Bible has three distinct meanings for the word gossip, and it's actually not found like in the King James Version or like the New King James Version, but it's found in like these other translations, but it just it means the same thing. And so one of these versions is found in Psalms 15 3, and it says those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends, and in this aspect, it means slanderer, or it compares it to being a spy. And I was like, Whoa, that's so cool. Because spies and gossipers, they kind of do the same thing.

SPEAKER_05 25:19

But we're not saying that it's cool to gossip, guys. That's not what she's saying.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

That's not what we're saying. Don't be a spy. The metaphor. The metaphor was cool.

SPEAKER_05 25:26

That's that's so cool. I should do that more. Yeah, that's not what she's saying, guys.

SPEAKER_03 25:30

Because a spy collects information about other people. Um, and that's what a gossiper also does. It gathers personal details that are often for other people's um downbringing, anyways. Degradation. Yeah, that um they also often work in secrecy most of the time. Like you don't know a spy is a spy until it's too late. Um, and so gossipers will also whisper behind people's backs, sharing information that's private or secret. Their actions could cause harm if exposed. So if a spy's actions are exposed, the whole nation or like operation is put into jeopardy, like people's lives are at risk. And um, but a gossiper can damage people's reputations and relationships. And it twists and manipulates the truth because a lot of the time spies will distort facts to mislead their enemies, and gossipers will exaggerate or alter the truth to make a story more interesting.

SPEAKER_05 26:25

Yeah, it's some pretty serious business.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

You don't want to be a gossiper.

SPEAKER_05 26:29

And I think on a less like serious, like you're a spy if you gossip enough.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Um just one of the things you can do.

SPEAKER_05 26:38

But like, come on, yeah, I get what you're saying. Like, obviously, that's a very big point. Like, yeah, gossiping is is dangerous. Like, even if you don't know that you're doing you are a spy and you're causing division and problems. But like if you ask what it is, like come on, just have some common sense. We all know what gossip is. Like talking about someone pin drop talking about uh someone behind their back to other people on purpose to to bring them to bring them down publicly, to bring them down, just yeah. Well, like we know what gossip is on a or spreading rumors on like a social level, like we know what it is, like that shouldn't really have to be asked. We know like just don't do it. It's not good.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

I think it's overall just like unnecessary sharing. Yeah, it's just something that's like it's not your business, you don't need to say it, nobody wanted to hear it really.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

It's not relevant to what y'all are talking about.

SPEAKER_05 27:32

And then like it doesn't even have to be lies, it can be truth. But if you're going and saying, like, say someone did something bad and it's true, they did it, and you're going and talking to a group of people who have nothing to do with the situation, just to talk about it, just to talk about, um, not to vent to them, not to, you know, deal with the problem personally, you're doing it just to talk about it, like that's gossip. Yeah. Like if you're talking about something just to talk about it, yeah, that's gossip.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

To slander someone's name or just to tell stories, that's one of the other versions that it gives. Gossip is a tailbearer, and we all know what tales are. Tales are stories, and so you'll just go around telling stories that you didn't witness and you just heard.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Yeah, and you slander people, and a lot of times it gets even worse because when you tell a story, that person you told tells the next person. Yeah, and then it keeps going, and eventually it's like a game of telephone, and then the last person hears the most absurd thing ever, and you're like, Where did they get that? Because I did not say that, and it's not even true.

SPEAKER_05 28:33

Audrey killed someone last week.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

And then it eventually gets back to that person anyway, if you were talking bad about a certain person, and then it just sounds way worse than probably what you even said. So just do it not only because it's right, but I mean your reputation's gonna get ruined if you keep doing it.

SPEAKER_05 28:46

It's like a uh domino effect. Like you tell one person, next week a hundred people know. It's not just gonna stop.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

Yeah, it's like a leak. Yeah, and the Bible talks about gossip being a speech that destroys community. Proverbs 16 28 says, A perverse person stirs up conflict and a gossip separates close friends. All gossipers do is make people like it just cause division. That is like their main thing.

SPEAKER_07 29:10

And like we talked about earlier, unity is a very, very highlighted point in the Bible. Yes. It's made point that there is unity, and where gossip is, unity is not. Exactly. It's impossible because uh Proverbs 6, 16 through 19 talks about there's six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him. Uh yeah, six, seven. I'd okay, I did it. Uh so it says one of them is haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush evil, a faultless a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who stirs up conflict in a community. So that lists seven things that are an abomination, which means God cannot stand.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

Like hates them with a passion.

SPEAKER_07 29:57

Yeah, a hundred percent not God. So I Out of those seven, two of them deal heavily with gossip.

SPEAKER_04 30:03

Wow.

SPEAKER_07 30:03

Gossip. One of them is hands that shed innocent blood. This does not mean literally killing somebody. Uh you can it it means killing somebody's spirit with the words that you're saying. Because your words can cause spiritual death. And that is very important to know that your words carry so much weight. I I don't remember where it's in the Bible, but it says that uh life or death is in the tongue. So your words can it might not kill them physically, but you can kill somebody spiritually with the words that you say.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

That is so true.

SPEAKER_05 30:33

You know, I don't think I've heard it be put like that before, honestly, but I think that's that's really true.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Yeah, and just think like if that feeling that you have when someone does you wrong, do you really want that person to feel the same way? Like, I would never want anyone to feel this like sometimes like pain you go through, you never want people to feel that same pain. Like you shouldn't want your worst enemy to like feel pain and suffering. That's just not moral. And if you do, I'm kind of worried. Yeah. You can.

SPEAKER_05 31:00

Yeah, that's pretty bad if you do. But yeah, you can absolutely like destroy someone's spiritual life just by gossiping or at least throw them heavily off track.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Just by talking about them behind their backs.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Yeah. That blood's on your hands. We're called to lead people and point people to Jesus, not turn them away by our actions.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

And a lot of times you'll be surprised by like the outcome that can happen if you just talk to them privately. If you literally go straight to the source, you nip it at the butt. You just like you just leave it. You don't worry about like going through 15 people to like fix the solution that never gets fixed because it just ends up dissolving anyway because you never bring it to that person.

SPEAKER_04 31:47

That's good.

SPEAKER_05 31:48

Well, a lot of the times people aren't really gossipers aren't really seeking to fix the solution. Some of them just talk the talk.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Just have a problem. They want to complain. There's a lot of reasons.

Why Do People Gossip?

SPEAKER_05 31:58

But on that, uh, in that band, why do you guys think people gossip in the first place? Like, why do we do it?

SPEAKER_07 32:05

I think one heavy reason is like we've talked about earlier, pride. Uh the foundation of gossip is pride. And I think that uh people gossip about other people in order to bring the person they're gossiping about uh gossiping about down in order to lift themselves higher than the person they're talking about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

And I also think that I mean I can't say this for every single person who gossips, but it probably also comes from a point of insecurity or jealousy about the person they're talking about because they may see something that they want to be in that person, so they'll attack them in another way.

SPEAKER_07 32:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

So they can feel better about themselves.

SPEAKER_07 32:44

Like a flaw they see in themselves that another person doesn't have you.

SPEAKER_05 32:48

Yeah, and like and like you you can't get to the point where you want to point it out in yourself, but you can see it in other people.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

Yeah. Jealousy is like is a really, really big root um for just spreading rumors and gossiping in general. And Proverbs 26, 22 says the words of a tail bear are like tasty trifles and they go down into the innermost parts of your body.

SPEAKER_04 33:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

So there's a there's a thrill of hearing scandalous information about someone that we know or like we ni we wish that we knew. Because if we're being real, um no one is gonna like gossip about how John made honorable or how someone has or someone's being really faithful to each other in marriage. Um we never like talk about the good things like all the time, like that doesn't pique our interest. Yeah. But what piques our interest is quote unquote the real reason why someone did something.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

So whenever we hear rumors that bring down other people's reputation for some reason that picks up our ears, and we're like, whoa, what do they just say? Like, let me be nosy and figure out what happened. Like, you're making all these scenarios in your head, and those are like tasty trifles, those are like the good parts that juicy stuff, the things your flesh literature, yeah, the things that your flesh wants because you want to make yourself feel better.

SPEAKER_05 34:08

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

I think another reason that people gossip is like deflection because a lot of people think that if the focus is on other people's flaws, then no one will see theirs. And they want yeah, they want to put the focus on the other people doing the wrong so that no one sees the sin and the things that they're doing behind closed doors. And it gives them a sense of control. You know what I mean? Yeah, like like I know all the facts, I have control, I can say what I want. I run the show around here because I know everything.

SPEAKER_05 34:32

Yeah, like you can feel like you control the narrative. Yeah, that's a good point. It could be a uh it could be a revenge thing. Someone does something against you, and you're gonna do that. That's just that's how you fight back. That could that's another reason for gossip. Yeah, you're not gonna go to them directly, but you can get other people to hear the news or you can twist the news yourself.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

Yeah, some people do it for like the the social status, like just to boost their status and to become the popular person who knows like all the all the juice, all the tea.

SPEAKER_03 34:58

Or just to bond with people. Like if you want to get in with a certain group of people, but you know that they just gossip all the time. What are you gonna do? You're gonna m want to make yourself look cool, and so you're gonna go around gossiping so that they'll be like, Oh, she's in with us now. Yeah, join the clique. It creates like a sense of closeness, yeah. But in reality, it's not okay at all.

SPEAKER_05 35:18

It's it's really not, guys. Um, it gossip's not okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

I think another one is the fear of conflict. Like a lot of people, well, not a lot of people, but it's a lot easier to talk about someone than to talk to someone about something that's be confrontational. Yeah. And I mean, I think everyone's been a victim of this, you know, it just happens. Like a lot of times you just want to tell your side of the story, and sometimes you don't even mean any harm in your heart. Like you don't mean to to do bad and you don't mean to bring people down, but sometimes you you try to tell the story from your point of view, and it almost just creates this like division where the other person doesn't even know there was a war. And it makes people choose sides for something that the other person has no clue was happening. They did they might not even know they did you wrong, but you just go around trying to like make people think like, oh, I'm right, they're wrong.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

And then the other person's like a setting duck because they never knew anything was happening in the first place.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah, and I think it's it's really we need to be careful to not carry this well anywhere, but especially in the church, because I think when it comes into the church, it causes more than just personal problems, it could also split people from God and like make them want to leave the church and they'll get lost, and that's not what we want them to do.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

Because our what we were talking about earlier is unity is a huge, huge, huge topic in the Bible. Like it is humongous, and in Psalms one is 133 in verse one, it says how good and pleasant it is for when God's people live together in unity. Or First Corinthians mentions there that there would be no divisions among you in the church, or another in First Corinthians, it talks about how the body of Christ is one body, we all work together. Yeah, and whenever we become disunified within the church, we cannot be effective in how God wants us to be. Because if we are called to be unified, but we are disunified, that hurts the church, that hurts the spirit of the church, that hurts our mission. We can't point people to Jesus or any church, like can't fulfill fulfill their God-given calling if they are disunified and their people aren't working together.

SPEAKER_05 37:25

Yeah, it shifts the the focus when it gets like that. It can shift your scope as a church. Like, not only is it affecting the bot like Ramsey just said, it can affect the physical body. People will leave the church because either they're a part of the gossip or they just don't like the gossip in the church. It also affects the church as a whole and your mission. If a bunch of gossip is going on, the focus on Sunday is gonna become, ooh, the drama, what's gonna happen? Who's gonna talk next? Who knows what now?

SPEAKER_02 37:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:52

So the the focus becomes the drama instead of the mission, instead of God, instead of worship.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

Yeah, and I also think it's it may become the reputation for your church, and that's that's not what you want your church to be known for, is how much gossip they have.

SPEAKER_00 38:06

It also like creates a fear of judgment in the people in the church. It makes people think like, what are they saying about me when I'm not there? Or like, are these people really my friends or are they just collecting info on me to like spread it?

SPEAKER_05 38:15

Yeah, like you should be.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

And it just makes you have this like trust issue.

SPEAKER_05 38:18

Yeah, yeah, like you should never have to feel like you're walking on eggshells, like that's your own yeah, especially a church, yeah. Especially and that's what that's what gossip will do in a church.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

Like they'll corrupt it. And it's just straight sin. Like the Bible calls it out several times that doing that is straight sin. And the Lord will not honor a church who is walking in consist in consistent sin. Yeah, because sin puts an obvious drift between us and God. And if we are walking in sin day in and day out, he is not we're not gonna be as effective. And the Lord is not gonna trust us as much as he should whenever we confront sin in our lives. It's just not okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

I think that gossip is really dangerous for the person who's doing it. Obviously, it's like dangerous for the target, but it's it's also dangerous for the one, you know, shooting the bow. Like it just it trains your brain to look for flaws in people. Yeah. And to automatically take everybody and like everybody you encounter, just think, okay, how are they doing me wrong? What are they doing wrong? What's wrong with them? What's their flaws? And like, how can I spread their business? It just it creates that you know, that just bad habit.

SPEAKER_05 39:26

Yeah, like it'll shift your uh it'll shift your perception. Like you're just saying you'll start looking for flaws, you'll start taking things as personal attacks when it really has nothing to do with you. Yes. And you'll just start expecting that, and that's that's a pretty bad, like we were talking about character, that's a pretty bad character flaw if you're looking at your brothers and sisters in Christ and you're constantly thinking, what are they gonna do to me? What are they saying about me? Yeah, how are they gonna hurt me?

SPEAKER_01 39:54

Yeah, and I think that ties back to even the message of what your focus is, because if you're focused on gossip and how you can gossip about them or what they think about you, is your focus is definitely not on God. And that's not it.

SPEAKER_05 40:07

Dude, if your focus is like 100% on gossip, like that's you need to repent now because work on that.

SPEAKER_07 40:13

Gossip is complete evil. Like if it's the opposite of God, it's evil.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

100%. Like there's no way of even going about it. And the Bible says that like this one's not even like a question. Like, we're not supposed to gossip at all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

And it's kind of easy. It can be easier to get caught up in this one if you're not constantly like aware and looking for it.

SPEAKER_05 40:33

Yeah, if you're not looking out, if you're not looking out for it, it it can just I mean, I hate to say it, but it can just happen. Like, yeah, I think a lot of people, time back into why people do do it. I think some not a lot, but some they just do it because they're bored. Yeah, because especially if people are already talking about it, they want a little spice in their life. Angie was talking about the the juicy what?

SPEAKER_04 40:56

Uh tasty trifles. The tasty juices. The juicy trifles.

SPEAKER_05 40:59

She was talking about the tasty trifles, like, bro, that stuff, it can be tasty, especially if you're bored. If you're bored and people are talking about people, you're just like, man, I want to do that on the bottom. Sounds funny.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

Like a lot of time, whenever like conversation gets dry and awkward, like your first thing is like, what's the latest dirt you got on somebody? Like, what's the T I can spend? Have y'all heard? What did Susie do? Because peace and quiet doesn't boost our adrenaline like adrenaline like juicy stories do.

SPEAKER_05 41:22

Yeah, and if you let it, it just becomes a conversation starter. It becomes conver it becomes idle conversation, and you don't see it as gossip, but now you're at the point that gossip is your idle conversation just because you're bored.

SPEAKER_03 41:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:35

So you gotta stay watchful.

SPEAKER_03 41:37

Yeah. Because relying on gossip for attention or approval reflects your inner insecurity. Yeah. Yeah. And that's uh kind of a big reason why some people do do it, is because they're insecure in themselves and we can all find our own insecurities. We all know our own we're what we are all insecure about, and you try to find other people's insecurities and bring them down so that you can lift yourself up and make yourself look better or feel better than you actually are. Yeah. Yeah. I think gossip stems from comparison.

SPEAKER_04 42:19

Yeah.

unknown 42:23

Sorry about that.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Yeah, Luke 645 says, Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So if in your heart you have insecurity and pride, that's what you are going to find and talk about.

SPEAKER_03 42:35

It'll be easier to find it in other people once you've already found it in yourself, you notice. Yeah.

unknown 42:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:41

And also it just ruins your reputation. Like I said, like way before we even kind of when we were starting. Like no one's going to trust you when they keep hearing you talk about people over and over and over again. Especially people when it's like your friends. Exactly. Like you're not going to have friends. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

They're all going to be like, I don't want to tell you that.

SPEAKER_05 42:56

You're going to tell everybody about it. You're not going to be a very trustworthy person that people know you gossip. Yeah. No one's going to want to be your friend. No one's going to want to connect with you if they know that you're just going to take what you tell them and go to other people with it. Exactly. Twist your words. Pretty bad look.

SPEAKER_03 43:11

And the Lord won't be able to use you as much because you're walking in that sin and no one's going to be able to trust you. And so your ministry won't be as effective because you won't be trustworthy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 43:21

Yeah. I think it's important that we uh make sure we're not like the Pharisees were. Yes, uh, Matthew 23 talks about this is when Jesus went up to the Pharisees and he woed them seven times and he was talking about all their flaws that they had and how they were being hypocrites. Well, one of his woes where he says, Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, for you're like whitewashed tombs who indeed appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full with dead men's bones and all uncleanliness. Yeah. It's important that we don't just appear holy on the outside, and on the inside we're filled with pride and gossip and discord. You need to make sure that your heart is in the right spot because it doesn't matter what your outside it looks like, God searches the inside parts of you, and that's the most important part.

SPEAKER_03 44:06

That is the most important part.

SPEAKER_05 44:07

I feel like that is very crucial because if we're not careful, we can become geared to view holiness like the Pharisees, like the outside appearance. And so you'll judge people for everything they do because you're judging them based on the outside appearance. When in reality, it's like you said, um, it's the inside that matters. And just as a culture, as a church culture, we can definitely be geared to view the outside and just judge based on that and be like, oh, that person's dressing that way, that person's doing that. That person said this.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

You don't see their heart.

SPEAKER_05 44:42

Yeah. And so I thought that'd Audrey had mentioned it earlier. It it corrupts you, it corrupts your character. You see other people's flaws, and it's just a rabbit hole that you don't want to go down.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

So if somebody gossips, like how do you think if they want to stop and they gossip, like how do you think they could do that?

SPEAKER_05 45:15

Well, first I think it's about acknowledging the fact that you that you've gossiped. Yeah. Um, obviously, second step, repent. Yes, like after you've acknowledged it, and you're like, okay, I've gossiped, I've said some things I shouldn't, I've engaged in conversation I shouldn't, then you can go on and repent and just be honest. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 45:36

That's like that's like what David did in uh Psalms 51. I mean, he that was his chapter on after he had lusted for Bathsheba, which isn't gossip, but he said the statement, creating me a clean heart, oh Lord. And I think that's a very important prayer. You need to pray if gossip has corrupted your heart, because it is a heart problem. Yeah, yeah. So we need to stay repenting and asking God to create a clean heart in us.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

Yeah. And I think after you've acknowledged it, you definitely need to make like figure out if what conversations are about the gossip. Ask yourself after a conversation happened and you kind of feel like it might have been gossip, but you don't know, you're not really sure. Was it necessary? Did you need to say what you said and did it contribute to the conversation?

SPEAKER_05 46:21

Yeah, I think you should pause before speaking, especially if you're in an environment that you've gossiped in before or you've been inclined to and gossip in before, and think, would you say that if the person was standing right next to you?

SPEAKER_03 46:33

Yeah, that's okay.

SPEAKER_05 46:34

If you wouldn't, it probably is gossiping, you probably shouldn't be saying it.

SPEAKER_03 46:38

And just like any other stumbling block um that there is, you have to ask Jesus for help. Oh yeah. Because you're not gonna be able to break down the block without his help. Yeah. Especially if you've engaged in it a lot, that block is bigger than you probably think it is, and it'll be more difficult for you to stop. But you have to ask him for help and be intentional to choose not to speak if you are urged to gossip.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

Yeah. And back to what Hudson said, if you would say it in front of that person, you probably should just say it in front of that person, not in front of everybody else.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

That's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

So it could just be a conversation with them if you're gonna do it. Yeah, that's a lot of trouble.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

Or you could replace gossip with encouragement.

SPEAKER_01 47:17

Yeah, that's a big one.

SPEAKER_03 47:18

Yeah. Or just it's a it's an intentional choice to not do it. You just have to tame your tongue and be like, oh yeah, there's nothing nice to say, we can't say.

SPEAKER_00 47:28

Yeah, I think it's like it's not about shutting your mouth and just like not saying anything, it's about retraining your heart to love a person rather than just go straight into judgment and straight into you know breaking down their character in front of other people.

SPEAKER_03 47:40

You have to ask and pray that the Lord would allow you to see people how he sees people. Yeah. Because in reality, we're all his kids. He loves each and every single one of us equally. And if we are cutting down one of his own children, it just it breaks his heart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:58

We should honestly see it like your siblings. Your sibling can do you wrong 15 million times, and you, it's almost like you you could get mad, but there's nothing you could do because you know in your mind it's like set, like you will always have to love them. They will always be there. They are always approach everyone with that mindset. You have to love everyone, so don't quote like don't make problems and don't make divisions, you know? That's good. Just approach everybody with that. They are my sibling, quote unquote, mindset.

SPEAKER_05 48:22

Yeah, so just like acknowledge it, repent, and then ask God for help with it. And if you stay truthful, stay steadfast, and keep that mindset, keep that spirit, you'll be good. You can be gossip.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

You'll be gossip-free in no time.

SPEAKER_05 48:37

We will be a gossip-free society if we all adopt this mindset.

SPEAKER_00 48:41

Amen. Okay, but like if somebody approaches you and they want to gossip, then how do you how are you gonna stop that? That one's hard to do.

SPEAKER_05 48:46

First of all, just tell them to zip it. Don't say anything else.

SPEAKER_00 48:52

Just run at the scared. Just be like, literally get away.

SPEAKER_05 48:56

Go to your prayer closet and repent.

SPEAKER_03 48:58

Convict them. Yes. One thing Pastor Jared said on Sunday was you either have to run from the mockers or have the strength to correct them. Because we've all we've all experienced this where someone has come up to us and said some things. Um, and you either have to walk away from that conversation or you have you have to have the strength to say, we're not talking about that, or we're not talking about that person. Or personally, I won't talk about that. And you just leave the conversation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

Yeah. I think it's just you have to be honest with them and say, like, hey, I'm trying not to talk about people anymore. Like, let's change the subject. Or if you're or you could ask them, like, have you told them this directly? That might fix it. And if they say no, then say, Why don't you do that and see if that fixes it first rather than telling me.

SPEAKER_05 49:42

My favorite tactic is to just immediately call the person they're gossiping about and put them on speakerphone.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

What?

SPEAKER_05 49:48

And ask them to repeat what they just said.

SPEAKER_00 49:50

That's actually genius though. But like leave the room and just let them have their own conversation.

SPEAKER_05 49:54

Like it works. Like they're not gonna say it anymore, and it'll really get them them gears turning.

SPEAKER_00 50:00

They'll just never talk to you again. No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 50:02

Maybe that's for the better for my spiritual walk.

SPEAKER_00 50:05

Oh no. You'll have to be one of those people who just turns away and runs. Running. No correcting for months. I'm still working on it, girlfriend. Yeah. So I think it just it doesn't have to be a lecture to them about like, no, this, this, this, you can't do this because of this. Just politely tell them, hey, this isn't right. We shouldn't do this. Let's switch the topic. And next time just tell that person.

SPEAKER_07 50:26

Yeah, don't be afraid to set a boundary. Yeah. And don't be definitely don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in.

SPEAKER_01 50:32

Boundaries are a big thing and a big deal. Yeah, that was what what that was his message, what, two weeks ago? The blessings and boundaries. Or wait, that was a while ago, actually.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

Where have you been? It's not right. It's not right.

SPEAKER_05 50:44

Like it's almost like it's been spoken into our lives by our pastor.

SPEAKER_03 50:48

Almost.

SPEAKER_05 50:49

Yeah. I just get the inkling that it was.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

Just the inkling. I also think it's important just to tag on, is don't make it an excuse. Like, okay, so me. I personally may ask for advice on a situation, but I don't consider that gossip. But I also want to make sure that you're not using that as an excuse to gossip to somebody. Like, don't go ask somebody, like, hey, what should I do about this situation? They blah blah blah, they blah blah blah they blah blah blah, and I did nothing. Well, that's an excuse to hide that you're gossiping, and that should be watched out for that.

Is Venting Always Gossip?

SPEAKER_05 51:37

I think that ties into another question that I've been thinking of. Is venting always gossip?

SPEAKER_01 51:43

That's good. Uh depends. It's a good thinker. Yeah, I'd say it depends.

SPEAKER_05 51:47

I'd say it depends. Uh mainly on motive.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

Yeah, what's your motive?

SPEAKER_05 51:52

What is your intentions? Where is your heart when you're saying that?

SPEAKER_01 51:54

And are you taking accountability for if you did something wrong to them? Like, or don't just blame it all on that person while you're venting.

SPEAKER_00 52:01

I don't know actually. I don't think it's I mean, yes, it's mainly about like your motive, but it you can still be gossiping even if your motive's not bad. Like I can still go tell the story about what happened between me and Andrea if I think she did me wrong. I can still go tell that story to people. And just in my mind, it could just be like me saying, guys, this is what happened. I'm really hurt, and I could just go cry and quote unquote vent. But it doesn't matter. I tore her down doing it.

SPEAKER_05 52:23

I think it also depends on audience. Yeah. Motive and audience.

SPEAKER_07 52:27

Yeah, I was about to say that. You need to if if you're gonna vent, make sure you're doing it to somebody higher than a parent or a professional who a counselor.

SPEAKER_05 52:36

I don't I don't know, just or just like even a close friend, a close brother that uh you two walk together spiritually. Yeah. Like even if someone like that, if you're just going to this person and you're not going from the mindset of spreading this just to spread it, you're going to, I was hurt by this. And I need help. I just need to talk about it. Like that's I don't think that's gossip.

SPEAKER_07 52:58

I think in that case, you need to make sure the person you're venting to has the right motive too, the motive to receive it instead of using that. And to help you spiritually, you or maybe even the person you're venting about.

SPEAKER_05 53:09

Only gossip to a trusted adult.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

That's that's not the same. I think you missed the point there.

SPEAKER_05 53:14

Yeah, don't gossip.

SPEAKER_01 53:15

Yeah. I think it's also important to how you are venting. Like, are you spilling every little detail or are you kind of doing a vague like I got hurt by so-and-so, maybe not even naming them? Well, that's definitely it's not gossip if you're not naming them. It's you're not trying to bring them down. You're just actually trying to get help. So if you're going at it from that way, what is wrong with me?

SPEAKER_02 53:38

What is wrong with me?

SPEAKER_01 53:41

What were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_05 53:43

Yeah, I think there's a big difference between like say you're hurt by someone said something nasty about you and and you go talk to a trusted friend with the right intentions, and you're like, hey, this um this person said this about me and it hurt me. What do I do? And that's where it that's kind of where it ends. That's not gossip. But if you go to that same person and you're like, this person said this about me, and she's a horrible person, and I don't like how she acts. And her outfit. And she's chopped, like, then you're starting to get into gossip.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

Yeah. No, you you're already in. You're in the fully dive.

SPEAKER_05 54:25

Yeah, we're in the deep end already.

SPEAKER_03 54:26

Yeah. You're at the bottom of the deep end at this point. Like, can it go any deeper?

SPEAKER_04 54:33

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_05 54:34

But I also um, do you think gossip can hide behind concern or prayer request going into what we just talked about? Absolutely. Wait, can you can gossip hide behind concern or hide behind prayer requests?

SPEAKER_01 54:48

Yes. Like when they say, like, can I can y'all pray for this person? They did this, this, and this.

SPEAKER_00 54:52

Oh, yeah. So I need to pray for this person. They're easy villains without me.

SPEAKER_07 54:57

You're going to Pastor and saying, Hey, Pastor Jared, can you pray for Audrey? She slapped Hudson across the face.

SPEAKER_03 55:02

Or not Audrey's attitude wasn't the best. Can you pray for her? Not saying your attitude's bad. I'm just, you know.

SPEAKER_07 55:07

And you didn't slap Hudson in the face.

SPEAKER_03 55:08

Yeah, you didn't do that either, did she?

SPEAKER_05 55:09

Or like we're now starting. Or like if you go to someone with a prayer request and I'll just use Audrey again, and I'm like, can you please pray for Audrey's heart and her walk with God? I just really feel like she's misaligned right now.

SPEAKER_07 55:23

You've got bad intentions.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

She's going down the wrong road right now. Her path is just not aligned with where she should be going.

SPEAKER_07 55:29

Now, if you're praying for like some somebody to get alignment, I don't necessarily think that's always a bad thing because if you have a family member, a loved one who's going off astray and you pray for them to be aligned. But no, I'm saying, like, if you have bad intentions behind it, like they hurt you so oh, they need prayer for alignment now. I feel like that's when it gets a little bad.

SPEAKER_01 55:49

I think at the end of the day, it's all really just where your heart's intentions are. Like, are you doing it for the good or are you doing it for the bad?

SPEAKER_03 55:56

Because what gossip is, it's it's spreading rumors to degrade people and to make them look worse or bad for your own betterment. Yeah, in a sense.

SPEAKER_00 56:08

Just makes people pick sides. And it creates like a little mini team. Yeah.

Summary, Challenge, and Outro

SPEAKER_05 56:15

But alright, guys, we've talked about a lot this evening. We've talked about small hinges and big doors and how you need to watch out for the small hinges in your life. Maybe your character, watch out for pride, watch out for holding resentment. You need to look for the hinges that are connected to the door in your life.

SPEAKER_04 56:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 56:37

Um just be aware of that. Be aware that your calling can be held back by something as simple to you as your character. And it can really be that easy. The door just it won't work if you let your hinges be compromised. And we've talked about gossip. We've talked about what gossip is, why do people gossip, how do I stop gossiping if I am gossiping, how can I fix it? I mean, we've we've covered it all.

unknown 57:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 57:02

And I just want to challenge you all as listeners, over the next week, really take into account how you look at other people, how you view them, and what your first instinct is when you hear something about someone. Just really analyze your heart. Just our pastor, Pastor Jared, he talks about that continually. Self-examination. Just examine how you view other people. I'm not calling our precious viewers gossipers. I wouldn't ever dare say something as incriminating as that, but just analyze it.

SPEAKER_00 57:36

Look at how you look at other people.

SPEAKER_05 57:39

Make sure your heart's aligned.

SPEAKER_03 57:40

Hey, very good.

SPEAKER_00 57:41

Well, everybody, I think we had a great session. Um, thank you guys so much for viewing. Make sure to tune in next Thursday for the next drop.

unknown 57:51

Bye!

SPEAKER_07 57:52

Bye guys, bye guys.