Five Minutes Of Laughs To Start Today

A kid cries all the way home after a christening because he thinks “a Christian home” means he’s getting replaced. Another kid hears a question about getting to heaven and answers with ruthless five-year-old logic. If you’ve been carrying stress, this short morning podcast is built to loosen it with clean humor and a little perspective. 

Transcript

Welcome And Morning Setup

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Good morning and welcome to Starting Right. I am Danny Mack, and I'm going to be here every Monday to Friday to help you get a great start to your day. So grab your cup of coffee, sit back and relax for the next five minutes as I help you start your day by starting right. The other evening my wife and I sat down in front of the television and I asked her what would you like to watch? Her response was, I don't care as long as it makes me laugh. I was all for it. But unfortunately she rejected my first suggestion, which was the Looney Tunes with Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd and Donald Duck and Leghorn Foghorn. I find them hilarious, but somehow she doesn't like my sense of humor sometimes. But we finally found an old one that was funny, and we laughed,

Kids’ Church Quotes Begin

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and you know, I'm really glad we did. We both really needed that. So sort of in that theme this morning, I want to talk about some things that I think will just make you laugh. So I've pulled together a selection of mostly true stories, I believe, anyway, of things that kids have said and done in Sunday school and in church, more often than not to the embarrassment of their parents and the people around them, but they're great stories, and they will hopefully make you laugh today. So sit back, relax, enjoy just what I hope will be a fun time for you this morning. Let's start with this one, where maybe the young son was speaking more truth than his parents were comfortable with. After his baby brother had been christened in church, little Johnny sat in the back of the car and sobbed all the way home. His father asked him three times what was wrong, and finally the boy replied, The priest said he wanted us to be brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys. A Sunday school teacher turned to one of his students and asked, Johnny, tell me very honestly now, do you say your prayers before eating? No, sir, Johnny replied. I don't have to. My mom's a good cook. Another Sunday school teacher was describing that when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom, she turned into a pillar of salt. When at the back of the class, Bobby interrupted her, saying, Teacher, teacher, my mommy looked back once when she was driving and she turned into a telephone pole.

The Sermon Threat That Worked

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There was a pastor that told this story on himself. His name was Dave Charlton. During the worship service, I had noticed a young boy sitting in the congregation. He was extremely fidgety. He was up and down and trying to move around, and his mother was having a hard time to get him to be quiet. And then he saw his mother sort of lean over to the young boy, say something to him, and the boy was still for the rest of the service. After the service was over, Pastor Charlton was at the door greeting the people in the families. When the mother came by with her boy, he finally asked her, uh, how did you get your son to sit still and be quiet? She smiled sheepishly and leaned over to the pastor and said, Well, about halfway through your sermon, I leaned over and I whispered into his ear, If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again. Here's another Sunday school story that I I really like. A Sunday school teacher was carefully

Elijah’s Water And “Make Gravy”

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explaining the story of Elijah the prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood on it, cut the steer into pieces, laid it on the altar, and then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and to pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. Now, can anyone in class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar? All was silent for a moment, and then a little girl at the back of the room raised her hand and said with great enthusiasm to make gravy. A Sunday school class was coming to

Heaven Test And A Blunt Answer

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the end of its term, and the teacher decided to give the class a test to see how much they had learned and how much they understand about the concept of how you get to heaven. She asked them, If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me to heaven? No, the children answered. If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me to heaven? Again the answer was no Now she was smiling. She knew they were getting it. Well then, she said, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my husband, would that get me to heaven? Again they all answered, No. She was just bursting with pride, because she knew she had taught them well. So she continued, then how can I get into heaven? One five-year-old boy shouted, You gotta be dead. I love kids. I love the truth and reality of children.

Why Kids Lift Our Spirits

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Psalm 127 verse 3 says, Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from Him. Children surprise us, they reward us with joy when we least expect it. They make us laugh and smile when we really need it. And their innocence and their honesty will lift up your spirits every time. Have a great day,

Closing And Invitation To Return

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my friends. We'll talk again tomorrow. Thank you for listening today. And I invite you to join me Monday to Friday right here on Starting Right with Danny Mack.