Police Academy "Santa with a Badge" (w/ Laramy and Vinnie)

What's up, dudes?  So you want to be a cop? All you do is join the farce. Laramy Wells from Moving Panels and Vinnie Brezinsky from Huey and Bax have signed up to join the "Police Academy!"

After thwarting the Santa Claus burglar--so called because he breaks in through the chimney--the Police Academy squad run into a little orphan girl named Ginny.  She asks Carey Mahoney and his gang to help her friends believe in Santa Claus since the orphans never get any presents. Simultaneously, there's a robbery at I. Gottem's department store. Ginny even gets a look at the thieves.

Mahoney and Jones decide to dress up as Santa for the kids not realizing their team also decides to dress up. Unfortunately, they're called to guard the department store. While the orphans are at the store, they're framed for the theft of diamonds. The cadets prove their innocence and catch the actual thieves.

 Jones sound effects? Got 'em. Tackleberry extreme firearms? Yep, a bazooka. Reindogs? Well, only as Commandant Lassard can provide! So grab your Santa suit, hide inside a snowman, and arrest this episode on Police Academy "Santa with a Badge!" 

Moving Panels
FB : @MovingPanels
Twitter: @MovingPanels
IG: @movingpanels

Check us out on Facebook, Twitter,  Instagram,  Totally Rad Christmas Mall & Arcade, Teepublic.com, or TotallyRadChristmas.com!  Later, dudes!

Transcript

SPEAKER_14 0:00

Proctor, you have been singing Christmas songs for the entire five hours of this stakeout, and Christmas is a good four months away. If you sing so much as one more note, I will shoot you. We're talking Police Academy. Hit it. Batman was in theaters. The new kids on the block were on the radio, and Mahoney and the squad helped make Christmas special for some orphans. I'm your host, Jerry D with another episode of Totally Rad Christmas, the podcast that talks all things Christmas in the 80s, toys, movies, specials, music, and fads. If it was gnarly during Christmas in the 80s, we got it covered. Now, joining me are two Totally Rad Christmas All-Stars and Ratty winners. My first guest, you'll know from moving panels, it's Laramie Wells. Laramie, how's it going?

SPEAKER_15 1:24

It's going great. I'm going to try to distract everyone with as many sound effects as I can.

unknown 1:31

Weo wee.

SPEAKER_14 1:33

It's so good. My next guest, you'll know from Huey and Bax, it's Vinny Brzezinski. Vinny, what's going down?

SPEAKER_16 1:42

Jerry, I was talking to you before the show. I'm getting excited. The wish the dream book came in from Hallmark. Christmas season's coming. Let's start getting ramped up. And yes, I know it's April gang, but it's it's on its way.

SPEAKER_14 1:56

It's never too early for Christmas.

SPEAKER_15 1:58

It is not. I I start buying for Christmas on December 26th.

SPEAKER_14 2:02

Yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_16 2:04

I start buying for the next year on December 26th. Like Hallmark.

SPEAKER_14 2:11

No, I mean that's when that's when everything's on sale. Yes, there's an energy. It's so good. Yeah, you gotta. It's good to see y'all. It's been a while. Y'all both ratty winners this year, so congratulations on those wins. But you know, we're here to talk about one of the greatest movies in 80s history. Not the greatest cartoon, but also uh a cartoon spin-off of said movie. We're here to talk Police Academy. Now, before we do, just like Carol Kane did to Bill Murray and Scrooge, I want you to hit me with the toaster. So I'm gonna ask you a few questions and I want you to hit me with the first answer you can think of, okay? So you don't have to think too hard about it. So here we go. Let's say you're making a new police academy with the original cast returning. Who would you cast as Tackleberry's son? Glenn Powell. Oh yeah, I can see that totally.

SPEAKER_16 3:05

I can't I forget his name, but uh it's the the guy that is obnoxious, but he was in like Mike and Dave need wedding dates. The other one, the guy who wasn't who wasn't thinking of his name.

SPEAKER_15 3:20

Dave Franco. No, you're talking about the guy from Workaholics, the guy that was in Pitch Perfect. Correct. I cannot think of his name. I I know exactly who you're talking about.

SPEAKER_14 3:30

I don't know, I never saw that movie.

SPEAKER_16 3:33

But he It was okay, but it's the whole he has Hackleberry had that arrogance about him and confidence, and then that guy had it, and now I'm drawing a blank on his name, and I'm like really oh Adam Devine. There you go. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 3:49

Yeah. I can see that too. I like both those choices. I can see him blowing up stuff and bringing out the weapons and reminds me of part five where he like you know, he's doing the firing range and he just starts holding these guns and he's like, No, I need them. Yeah, don't take them. All right. What would you title a Hallmark movie, you know, Hallmark Christmas movie specifically, starring Zed and Laura, which is Corinne Borer's character from Police Academy 4, the the blonde that's kind of into Zed.

SPEAKER_15 4:20

Oh Crazy Love's Company. I could I could see that. See, it wouldn't be a Hallmark, but my my initial mind went into you killed Mickey.

SPEAKER_14 4:33

Uh I like that one too. Yeah. Zed the halls, I don't know.

SPEAKER_17 4:40

Zed the halls, there you go.

SPEAKER_14 4:43

Okay, and finally, would Tackleberry rather have John Rambo, John Matrix, or Dutch as partners?

SPEAKER_15 4:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_16 4:56

You talking Dutch from Predator?

SPEAKER_14 4:57

From Predator, yeah.

SPEAKER_16 4:58

From Predator, yeah. Oh, it's Dutch. I I think I know I I think Rambo was a little too far out there. I think Dutch was more low-key, but had the the weaponry to to undo it. Now I I get it, Rambo had the the RPG, but I I don't know. I can never go wrong against any the Dutch in that cast of senators from that movie. Are they senators or governors? Governors. Governors, yes, governors. There were three governors in that movie.

SPEAKER_15 5:27

I think Dutch, yeah, I think Dutch matches Tackleberry's personality the best of all of them.

SPEAKER_14 5:32

Yeah, yeah, I could see that. I could see John Matrix also, either one, but I think you're right, Dutch probably best. Well, that's just a way for our listeners to get to know you guys a little bit better, so thank you for that. Now, tonight we're talking we're here to talk about Police Academy. Specifically the animated series, but we're gonna talk, of course, the whole series overall. What do you guys remember about Police Academy? Like, what's your uh experience with it? Why don't we start with you, Vinny?

SPEAKER_16 6:24

So I remember seeing the first movie, and I know it was underrated, and I was probably too young to be watching it. I just thought it was hilarious. My family were my mom was like, I'll let you watch it, but don't say these words. Um I just remember Mahoney. I was like, I wanted to be like Mahoney, and you don't realize until you watch it later all the adult jokes that were in it that I completely didn't think about when I was a kid. And then you go back and watch it and you're like, How did my parents let me watch this again? Um I feel I feel weird watching it in a room with other adults at some point. Like it's it it is awkward, but I I remember the original, but I think Citizens on Patrol because I still remember that uh that theme song. Same one I've seen the most was my jam because like that's when Zed came over and sweet Chuck. And I'm trying to remember the guy's name because it's been a while since I've seen it, but the heavier set guy that House House House was in there, but there was the guy I don't want to say he was Flounder. He looks like he looked like Flounder from Animal House, but he was the bigger guy, Leslie. I think his name was Leslie. Oh, Leslie's yes, yeah. Was that Citizen on Patrol? Was that the no?

SPEAKER_14 7:35

He was in the Citizens on Patrol. Yeah, he was only in the first movie, yeah.

SPEAKER_16 7:40

Yeah, but like I remember going to see, and then then Hightower was messing with House, and it was David Spade, right? And he was he was the big voodoo guy in the back of the car. You go yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.

SPEAKER_14 7:53

We my brother and I still randomly do that. Yummy yummy yumma yum, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yumma.

SPEAKER_13 8:06

Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yumma.

SPEAKER_04 8:10

Hey, don't let us voodoo mama jumbo scare you. Yummy yummy, yummy, yummy, yumma.

SPEAKER_14 8:17

Yeah, no, I'm right there with you. I remember Citizens on Patrol being shown tons on HBO, so that's the one I've seen the most. Even though, like, I mean, objectively, the first one is a better movie. But but Citizens on Patrol is you. But Citizens on Patrol is like the one that I think is burned into my brain. What about you, Larry? Citizens on Patrol. Yeah, that's right. What's your uh what's your history with it?

SPEAKER_15 8:45

Almost the exact same. I'm pretty sure Citizens on Patrol was the first one I saw, right? Because I definitely did not see them in order in any way, shape, or form. Same. I'm pretty sure with the exception of you know, Mission to Moscow that we don't talk about. We don't speak of the couple of things. I probably yeah, I probably saw like three was the last one in in the order that I saw them. Oh wow. Um yeah, but no, it's the same thing. I'm pretty sure I saw the first one on a TV edit, so I didn't get a lot of those adult jokes until much later when I I saw it on like DVD or something, because I know good and darn well the the uh the lady under the podium was not. That's the first thing I was gonna go to.

SPEAKER_16 9:33

I was just like, yeah, that's not that's not in the probably not in the TV edit.

SPEAKER_14 9:37

No, no, no. And I don't I I had no idea what was going on back in the day.

SPEAKER_15 9:42

So and I think is she tickling him? What's happening?

SPEAKER_16 9:48

But I think also did they do the blue oyster on the TV edits? Did they leave it in? I think they did.

SPEAKER_14 9:55

They did, they did, yeah.

SPEAKER_16 9:56

And that's again stuff that you can get away with in the 80s, like you probably couldn't get away with now.

SPEAKER_14 10:01

Oh, definitely not. But it's like one of those that's another like just iconic bit, right? The blue oyster club, which for a long time had me confused with blue oyster cult. And uh but but yeah, I mean, I'm right there with you guys. Same thing. Citizen on Patrol, it's probably because there's there's not very many bad words in it, there's no nudity, there's you know, it's it's a a lot more lighthearted and slapstick with Zed, especially and sweet child.

SPEAKER_16 10:28

I was gonna say Bob Cog Bobcat Gold Quake was in his peak at that point, so when he was there, I think that was one of the main reasons. I mean, I like Mahoney, but I was like, Oh, Bobcat's in it, because he was straight off like me. I know we had the comedy specials, hot to trot, he was did Scrooge, right? So he had a lot of stuff going on at the time, and I remember I like that guy, and then he and he watched it, and then he paired well with Sweet Chuck, which was a good combination.

SPEAKER_14 10:54

Well, it in part two, he's the villain, he's like the main villain, and sweet chuck is the guy that like they harass all the time. So that like back and forth where they're both just like I hate you. I mean, it was yeah, you know, but now they're like roommates in part three and then partners in part four. I mean, it's just it it was just brilliant. But that actually brings uh up a good question. Who would you guys say is your favorite police academy character?

SPEAKER_15 11:18

Jones. Yeah, always Jones, motor mouth Jones, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 11:22

Jones, Larvell Jones, Monsignor, Larvell Jones, MD.

SPEAKER_16 11:29

Oh, that's a good question. I I remember seeing Mahoney, and he's what got me like hooked to it. I also liked Hightower though. I thought Hightower, yeah, just the little things he did, like he couldn't fit in the car, so he ripped the seat out to learn how to drive. I mean, it was it was a little thing like that, and he got fired, he goes to the flower shop, right? I it was it was the weird things that you did. Mahoney hooked me, and everyone loved Jones, the sound effects, right? But then I think Hightower was enough of an action guy, but he also did the weird stuff, and you're just like, okay, I like that. In the back of the car, the the whole yama yama almost, yeah. I think I think he was the guy.

SPEAKER_14 12:09

But yeah, Jones's sound effects, I mean, legendary for sure.

SPEAKER_16 12:14

Especially when he went to space balls, right? Remember when he went to space balls?

SPEAKER_14 12:17

The sweeps and the creeps?

SPEAKER_16 12:19

Say what? Say what and what?

SPEAKER_14 12:22

So Police Academy released March 23rd, 1984, directed by Hugh Wilson, who uh helped create, and you'll know this, Vinny, WKRP in Cincinnati. The script was actually inspired by real-life events. The writer Neil Israel saw a group of mismatched kind of recruits, like just melting pot of recruits, during a crowd control exercise in San Francisco and realized the comedic potential. And it was the sixth highest grossing film of 1984. Now we're going to be talking about the animated series, which was done by Ruby Spears, who we talked about before, so I won't get into them. Ran for two seasons or a total of um 65 episodes as well. We're gonna be talking specifically about episode 36, which is season two, episode 10, which aired November 26, 1988. Yes, 88. I missed I misspoke in my intro. I said 89 instead, but oh well. But there besides those, the movies have two very brief Christmas connections, and I don't know if you guys remember these. In the very first movie, you know how they have to have their driving test. That's why Hightower rips the seats out of Copeland's car. But so when Hooks is taking her driving test, she's singing Santa Claus is coming to town and the score underneath it.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

You better not crack, you better not, you better not po I'm telling you why.

SPEAKER_14 14:38

And she said she modeled that after Michael Jackson, which I hadn't I didn't know. But yeah, so there's that one. And then in part six, and I quoted this in my intro, Harris, in the very beginning, Harris and Proctor are on a stakeout trying to catch the Wilson Heights gang. And Proctor's singing the 12 days of Christmas. Harris gets after him, and then he starts humming jingle bells afterwards.

SPEAKER_13 15:03

Day of Christmas, my true love is to me. 1251, 10, 19, 9, ladies dancing eight. Something, something, seven, something, and six, five.

SPEAKER_11 15:42

You have been singing Christmas songs for the entire five hours of this stakeout. And Christmas is a good four months away. If you sing so much as one more note, I will shoot you.

SPEAKER_14 16:27

Make my Christmas. So weirdly uh bookended, the first movie and the last movie, because we don't speak of Mission to Moscow. So Six is the last movie. Six is the last movie. Both of them are bookended with a little bit of Christmas there. But the cartoon actually did have a legitimate Christmas episode, and we're gonna be talking about that. The cartoon is where they got the the designs for the toys. Yep. So you can see that Zed didn't look a whole lot like Zed, but looked enough like Zed.

SPEAKER_16 16:58

They did Zed dirty on the cartoon.

SPEAKER_14 17:02

Yeah, they they kind of did. The one that always threw me off was that Hightower didn't have a mustache. Like, you know, because Bubba Smith had like that big mustache, he did, but in the show he didn't, so that always kind of threw me off a little bit.

SPEAKER_15 17:16

Did you guys watch the cartoon? Absolutely. Okay, 100%.

SPEAKER_16 17:22

When you sent the post about it, I'm like, I don't remember this. And then I started watching it and I saw the intro, I'm like, I a hundred percent watch this. Do I remember every episode? No, but I don't remember. Yeah, yeah. I remember Zed on the top of the hand glider going through with the handcuffs. I remember the sausages in the back of Harris's pants, and then even my wife was like, I remember when someone forgot to dot the eye, and Tackleberry comes in with the the bazooka and dots it. I was like, I do remember all of this.

SPEAKER_14 17:51

This is one that I know I watched, but I same, I have zero recollection of specific episodes at all. I just I don't remember the theme song was vaguely familiar, but not enough for me to sing it back or you know say that I a hundred percent remember it. But overall, the plot, especially of this particular episode, was so straightforward and so Ruby Spears that it felt like I had seen it, even though I don't know if I'd seen this particular episode. The character design.

SPEAKER_15 18:23

The storyline is the same as it is for just about every cartoon or superhero story or anything of a Christmas episode.

SPEAKER_14 18:33

Well, and especially Ruby Spears, right?

SPEAKER_16 18:35

I mean, there's yeah, they know it's so here's a question for you guys Do you think that the series didn't go well because they did an animated show that was meant for adults? Right? If you look at if you look at the the police academy movies, we shouldn't have been watching them, right? Let's be honest with you. Yeah, no, totally at that at that point, so most kids probably had no idea who this was or what was going on with it.

SPEAKER_15 19:01

I won't disagree with that, but I mean, we also had a Rambo cartoon.

SPEAKER_16 19:05

I was gonna say those RoboCop cartoons, RoboCop, uh Chuck Norris's Karate Commandos, yeah. But I was able, I watched all those. I guess my parents were bad parents.

SPEAKER_14 19:13

Like I think all of them because I watched those too. It's uh yeah.

SPEAKER_16 19:19

I had the action figures. I had too yeah, I had the Rambo little scooter thing that you rode at yeah, like the big wheel.

SPEAKER_14 19:27

That's cool. The big wheel, yeah.

SPEAKER_16 19:29

No, but I had it, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 19:31

I remember having like the because you could buy the sets of the weapons, and I remember having like his big old you know knife.

SPEAKER_16 19:38

Yeah, back in back in the day when you could buy a replica AK AK 47 in a uh Hills department store. I remember buying it, and I'm like, Can you imagine going to a store now and a kid just buys a fake rifle?

SPEAKER_15 19:50

Like 80s. Not so much, yeah. I'm pretty sure I had a G.I. Joe one of those, right? It was it was the one that when you pressed it, it just like vibrated. Vibrated, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 20:02

Oh, I remember that. Like you're just gonna do do my best friend Richard had that, yeah. Yeah, but like they had stuff like this, and so I I kind of agree with Laramie. I don't know if it was crazy out there as much because they kind of were just taking all this IP and and doing it. I think it didn't succeed because it was too cartoony, maybe. I don't know if that's true. I mean, I just feel like the there was a lot of slapstick and comedy in the originals, but there was also a little bit more element of danger, you know, because you have the axe murderer, well that that's his name, but you know, the the the guy in the Vassar shirt. Yeah, you had like people that were willing to harm that we didn't quite get in in the show. But I don't know, maybe not, maybe I'm making things up. But let's talk cast while we're here. Mahoney was Ron Rubin. You might remember him as Dr. Bad Vibes from the cops cartoon.

SPEAKER_05 21:00

Wait! An idea's for me! I'm having a friend.

SPEAKER_14 21:07

Or Morph from X-Men the Animated Series. Yeah. So I knew him mostly as Dr. Bad Vibes. Morph was always uh I always kind of hated Morph a little bit because I was like, why is this guy here? I want my like my blue team and my gold team. Like because I was I was huge into X-Men at the time. Tackleberry and Zed, so this guy did both of those, was Dan Hennessy, who you might know as Braveheart Lion from the Care Bears.

SPEAKER_18 21:33

I just love carnivals, and I'm feeling extra brave today.

SPEAKER_14 21:37

Or Chief Quinby from Inspector Gadget. Gadget. Lynn Carlson played Captain Harris, he was the voice of Big Boss in Cops.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Yeah, it takes 60 billion bucks in federal funds to run Empire City.

SPEAKER_14 21:58

You also might know him as Bert Reckon. Coon from the raccoons, or is Ganon from Captain N and The Legend of Zelda? That's what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_16 22:06

I remember that.

SPEAKER_15 22:08

Yeah. Yeah. I I know that he was the voice of Swamp Thing. You want to talk about short cartoons? Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing, yeah. I remember Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing that one only aired five episodes. Really? Yes, there are only five episodes of the Swamp Thing cartoon. Yeah. I've covered them on my show, so I know.

SPEAKER_14 22:28

Usually when that happens, not all the time, but usually it's it's because they dropped a five as a miniseries. This is how G.I. Joe got its cartoon. They dropped a five, and then if it's done, if it does well enough, then they order the series. I don't know if that's what happened with Swamp Thing. I have a feeling they only aired five because that's uh yeah, yeah, yeah. They still made a toy line, though. Well, you gotta make a toy line.

SPEAKER_15 22:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 22:54

Sweet Chuck was Howard Morris, who was a jug head in the Archie show. He also was the voice of Wade Duck in Garfield and Friends, or Ernest T. Bass in the Andy Griffith show. So that's Sweet Chuck. Both House and Proctor were played by Don Franks. You might know him as Boba Fett from the Star Wars holiday special. Also, he did voices on droids. He was Sabertooth in X-Men the Animated Series.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

Wolverine never should have let me live. I wish he was here so I could take care of his carcass too.

SPEAKER_14 23:25

The Vizier in Care Bears, the Nutcracker, and then he did a bunch of voices in like a lot of 80s cartoons, Captain Power, Legend of Zelda, Alf, Garbage Pale Kids in Starcom. So he gets around, even if he had like no real iconic character except maybe Boba Fett. Jones and Hightower were both voiced by Greg Morton, who was grinder in Hello Kitty's Furytale Theater, which we covered back in season three, or excuse me, season four.

SPEAKER_07 23:52

And last, Duck Ella Orange, here I come.

SPEAKER_14 23:57

He was uh also did various voices in Alf, Garbage Pale Kids, Robocop, and the Super Mario Brothers Super Show. Then just two more here. Denise Pigeon was hooks, she was Fangora in Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater, and she did various voices in Babar or Babar, however you want to say it, and the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. And finally, Catherine Gallant or Gallant, I'm not sure how you pronounce it, was Famine, an X-Men the Animated Series. That's one of the Horsemen of Apocalypse. And she also did various voices for Super Mario World, Babar, and Hello Kitty and Friends in 1993. So that's our cast. This episode aired November 26, 1988, and we are gonna dive right in here. If you want to nutshell it, a little girl named Ginny asks Mahoney and Gang to help her friends to believe in Santa Claus, but first the cadets must prove her innocence after being framed for stealing diamonds by some thieves. So let's dive right in here. Our episode begins where Harris and Proctor are in a stakeout van waiting to catch a Santa burglar.

SPEAKER_04 25:03

All right, listen up. We've staked out the only house on the street that the Santa Burglar hasn't hit. It's our last chance to nail this gazball. So if he comes down that chimney, wait for my signal.

SPEAKER_14 25:15

It's this guy, I guess, has been creeping down rooftops and sliding down chimneys, and they're determined they're gonna catch him this time. And I like how everybody's undercover. So Hightower is like this this old lady walking. House is inside a snowman, and Mahoney and Jones are in like a giant gift box where we get our first great joke when he's doing roll call, and when they get to Mahoney and Jones, they say, Present! Present.

SPEAKER_16 25:44

It's a good one. So so it's funny with this this scene. I like I get I know it's a cartoon and it's meant to be a kid's thing, but this guy must be the worst burglar in the world if they've gone to every house and they didn't think he was gonna catch him in the very last house that he didn't hit on this block. Like, go to a different block, dude. Did you guys catch the that's right?

SPEAKER_14 26:07

He wanted he wanted what what do they call it? The like the trifecta or whatever. He he just he wanted the sweep, you know, he wanted them all.

SPEAKER_16 26:14

But they're just like he's hit every other house on this block, so he has the only house you can go to. No, go to the next block, guy.

SPEAKER_14 26:21

Like, what are you doing? Come back later, yeah. So they hear someone on the roof, and the burglar comes down the chimney. Meanwhile, the orphans, because there's always orphans in these kind of shows, there's some orphans, especially Christmas episodes, especially Christmas episodes, and they throw some snowballs at the snowman because they think it's a goofy-looking snowman, and House actually like turns the snowman's head because he's inside the snowman, and they get scared and run away. That becomes important because Zed and Sweet Chuck are going to catch them a little bit later. Now, Mahoney and Jones pop out and scare the burglar, tackling him, and of course, in the dark, Jones nabs the burglar, but it we find out that Mahoney is actually just wrestling with the Christmas tree.

unknown 27:03

I got him!

SPEAKER_05 27:04

Someone get the lights! Why didn't you tell me you had them?

SPEAKER_15 27:07

You were having so much fun. Yep. Because you know, Christmas tree feels just like a human being, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 27:14

Especially in the dark.

SPEAKER_15 27:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 27:17

Yeah, I think we've said that for years, right? So the kids run over Harris as they're making their way out, and he decides, and this is uh typical Captain Harris here. I got real uh police academy 5 vibes. He decides he's gonna be the one to actually catch the the burglar, and so he climbs up to the chimney, and as he makes his way down, he gets stuck. Classic, that's a very police academy-esque vibe, right there.

SPEAKER_15 27:44

Or the the most horrific part of Gremlins.

SPEAKER_14 27:49

Right, the part or the funniest part of Gremlins. Oh man. But Sweet Chuck and Zed nab the kids. Mahoney takes them back. This little girl Ginny, who's like the main orphan that we're gonna, I guess, bond with, Ginny asks Mahoney to mail her letter to Santa on the way, and then the other kids make fun of her. So she's a true believer, and good for her.

SPEAKER_09 28:14

Maybe I didn't know you could get busted for tagging a snowman.

SPEAKER_08 28:18

You kids aren't under arrest. I just want to take you home. We haven't got a home. We're orphans.

SPEAKER_05 28:26

Aww, that's terrible. Well, we'd be happy to give you a lift back to the orphanage.

SPEAKER_08 28:32

Please, on the way, can we mail my letter to Santa Claus?

SPEAKER_14 28:36

But they re- they tell them that they never get presents at the orphanage, and Mahoney tells Jones they're gonna bring the gifts to the orphans this year, and they're gonna make sure Santa goes.

SPEAKER_16 28:46

So it was just weird that the orphans were just in the middle of a suburban neighborhood, and then all of a sudden, you know, it's probably like miles and miles away from the city, but yet they were just hanging out there randomly in the city in the suburban neighborhood.

SPEAKER_14 29:01

Well, I mean, I guess you gotta get out, or what do they say? You gotta visualize what you want, right? So they're just going to look into people's houses. So I don't know. Yeah, no, that means good point. I don't know how how far that neighborhood was, you know, that suburban area was from downtown, or but anyway. So Mahoney takes a letter and he and Jones plan, they make this plan as they're driving away. One of them's gonna dress up as Santa and they start arguing about who's gonna take over.

SPEAKER_05 29:30

So one of us plays Santa and we bring them gifts on Christmas Eve. But don't tell anyone about it. It's gotta be a surprise. Relax, who else would think of this? Me?

SPEAKER_10 29:41

Dress as Santa for the kids? What a unique idea!

SPEAKER_14 29:44

But they realize hey, who else is gonna be doing this? And just then, because it's a cartoon, Hightower and Hooks are driving past, and they also say that they're gonna dress up as Santa and deliver presents to the kids as well. So you can already see where this is going.

SPEAKER_15 29:59

Yeah, hijaks ensue.

SPEAKER_14 30:03

So Ginny decorates a tabletop Charlie Brown-looking Christmas tree. And again, the kids tease her, but she's a true believer, and so she's determined to prove that there's a Santa, and so she sneaks out the window, and as she's wandering around, she stumbles upon a theft where she's immediately spotted by these thieves.

SPEAKER_06 30:23

Yeah.

unknown 30:24

Mahony!

SPEAKER_06 30:24

Mahony, where are you?

SPEAKER_04 30:28

Mahoney!

SPEAKER_14 30:32

Come here, you! Like, if if you see, even if like you only see silhouettes and there's a bunch of guys doing something random out of the back of a a store, like get out of there. Like, you know, this city was once overrun by like gangs, you know. I'm looking at you, Zed. I mean, it's not safe. Go go back, go back to the suburbs. Anyway, so they chase her, but she runs into Commandant Lasard, who who's who's randomly hanging out in an alley. Well, Lassard, I kind of get. He's he's definitely he's not all there sometimes.

SPEAKER_08 31:13

Yeah, who are you?

SPEAKER_18 31:15

Commandant uh Lassard of Police Academy.

SPEAKER_08 31:18

Quicks are stealing TVs from Gotham's department store.

SPEAKER_14 31:21

I love Commandant Lasard, man. He's he's so fun. I know his part was like greatly expanded in uh part five, you know, where he's like he's kidnapped and he interacts a lot.

SPEAKER_15 31:32

Because then they also had to introduce his son as the or nephew as the replacement for Mahoney.

SPEAKER_14 31:39

Right. Which also bummed me out that they never said what happened to Mahoney, you know? Yeah, that always kind of bummed me out. But yeah, we get Nick Lasard in that one, and part six. He's he's there in part six. But even Matt McCoy was smart enough to not come back for mission to Moscow. She tells him about the thieves, and I gotta say, the look of Commandant Lasard is definitely doesn't match George Gaines.

SPEAKER_15 32:06

No, because he's shorter than everybody and thinner as well. Yeah. Whereas George Gaines was like the one of the taller cast members.

SPEAKER_14 32:17

Yeah, he really was. Yeah. But she tells him about the thieves, they go check it out. Nobody's there, they're completely gone. And so he returns her to the orphanage, but he promises that he's gonna tell Mahoney and the gang about the thieves. Well, unfortunately, Commandant Lasard's memory is not what it used to be, if it ever was. I remember when I saw part two, and his brother comes out, Pete Lasard. He's like the the the captain of that particular precinct that they send the the new cadets to. And I remember thinking, even as a kid, thinking like, how are these two related? Like one guy is sharp and determined, and the other guy is just this really laid-back, absent-minded buffoon kind of, you know, but lovable buffoon.

SPEAKER_15 33:10

But that's comedy gold right there.

SPEAKER_14 33:12

Oh, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_15 33:13

You would have the the the the con the contradicting, I guess, partners or brothers in this case.

unknown 33:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 33:24

Hello, Eric Lassard, please. This is coming out, Eric Lassard speaking. Eric, this is Pete. Pete. Your brother, Pete! How very, very nice of you to call.

SPEAKER_14 33:37

So nobody can find Captain Harris. Proctor's looking for him, and all of a sudden he shows up very disheveled because he was stuck in the chimney. And because he was stuck in the chimney, he smells like smoke and ash and soot, and Zed smells it and thinks there's a fire. So he and Sweet Chuck grab a hose, and of course, it gets out of control, but also they nail Harris with it.

SPEAKER_04 34:00

You mean he's still in that chimney? My god, no thanks to you, moron.

SPEAKER_14 34:23

Another funny little gag there. So I okay, I gotta say, up till now, you know something's happening. There's a robbery, there's the orphans. You guys knew where this was going, right? You knew there was gonna be a lot of Santas and everything. I mean, I felt like, and maybe it's because I'm 46 years old and like we've seen all this now, but I mean it felt very, very predictable.

SPEAKER_15 34:45

Yeah, I mean, like I said earlier, it's it's the same plot that so many other cartoons and sitcoms and and all have had. Because I'm pretty sure you know what, I could be naming anything, but I'm pretty sure there was like a wasn't there like an episode of Full House where Danny, Joey, and Jesse all dressed up as Santa for like Michelle or something.

SPEAKER_14 35:09

Yes, yes, there was. Oh man. Yeah. Anyway, so Harris is on the phone and it's I got him. He's the owner, or Mr. Gotham is the owner of I Gotham's. Yeah. And he says, send the squad to respond to a robbery. Because of course, Lassard forgot to tell the squad. So, Mahoney and Jones, they they take Mr. Gotham's statement. Only he and the manager Grimple have the key. And I gotta say, if your manager looks like Grimple, he's guilty.

SPEAKER_15 35:44

Yeah, I mean, it's it also turns into the whole Scooby-Doo like scenario. It's like the only other person we've been introduced to in this cartoon is clearly gonna be the bad guy. But he's he's so stereotypic as the villain.

SPEAKER_14 36:02

I I wrote down the most weasel-faced dude ever. Yeah, so and his name is Grimple. Not that you should judge a book by its cover, but in this case, I mean, it's you need to judge the book by its cover. Yeah. But they're questioning him, and Feeney, who looks like a 1930s gangster, arrives to say that the orphans are back. And in his opinion, they're the thieves. Like, that's that's gotta tip you off right away, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 36:32

Does anyone besides you have a key to the store? Just Grimple here, my manager.

SPEAKER_05 36:37

Surely they can't suspect me. No, we just want to ask if you locked up the store last night. Well, of course I did. What kind of dummy do you think I am? I'm not sure. There's a dozen kinds. What? Are you calling me Mr.

SPEAKER_16 36:50

Grimple? That often gun is back and she brought her friends. First off, it threw me off with the name Feeney. The Feeny, everyone we all here know, Mr. Feeney. Feeney! Yeah, I was waiting for Eric to come around and yell that. But yeah, I was like Feeney, I'm like going forth. But then you get into this thing is accusing eight-year-olds of being TV thieves. They can't even carry the TVs. How the heck are they gonna get these TVs out of there?

SPEAKER_14 37:19

Not back then, kids.

SPEAKER_16 37:21

Yeah, those big those big hunkers TVs, yeah. Yeah, or the or the ones with the wooden stands. Remember the wooden stand ones where the TV was built in the middle?

SPEAKER_14 37:30

Oh, yeah, those things like you needed like three console TVs, yeah. The consoles, yeah.

SPEAKER_15 37:35

That's what that reminds me though, you're going back talking about Hightower being one of your favorite characters. There's that scene where the they're looting and they're carrying the they're passing the TVs from one to the other, and then it gets to Hightower, and the guy just turns around and hands it back, and they start passing them back.

SPEAKER_14 37:53

Well, same thing in the first movie when you know he's learning how to drive and he crashes the car, and the driver gets out and he's all angry, and he looks inside, and then he just turns around and drives away. Yeah, Hightower is one of those guys that's just ridiculously strong. And I gotta say, I've seen something like that because my former boss was 6'8, and we had to build some pallet racking for the warehouses one time, and it took three of us just to lift one of the uprights, and he just grabbed the upright and picked it up and stood it up like it was nothing, and all three of us are just staring like in disbelief, just wow, like that's amazing. And I saw him do a lot more intense stuff like that. So, this high tower being able to do all you know, to to pick the car up and turn it over and all this other stuff. It's it's pretty believable, I gotta say.

SPEAKER_16 38:50

It's funny because you I when I was younger, I was like, Oh, there's that smaller car. We used to call it my buddy had the same car, and we used to call it the mouse because it looked like a mouse, it was a little gray car. And I'm like, we could we can we can push this over. I mean, high tower did it. Why can't we? Why can't two of us do it? And we're like, nope, that ain't happening.

SPEAKER_14 39:09

Yeah, yeah, high tower is just he's man so strong.

SPEAKER_16 39:13

I mean, granted, he was a he was a he played college football, Michigan State, so he was a big dude. I didn't know that until like years later. I was like, oh man, like my dad's like, you do know he played college football. I'm like, now I do.

SPEAKER_14 39:25

Um Bubba Smith, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he said he walked into a he was, I don't remember what it was for, some award or something that he was getting, and everybody yelled high tower. And he was like, Yeah, it's pretty sad that uh that overshadowed my whole football career. But I was like, No, that's not sad, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_15 39:42

Hey, could be worse, could be OJ Simpson. So it's true.

SPEAKER_14 39:51

So the orphans are in line to see Santa. Well, Ginny's really in line to see Santa. The others are in line because they want the free candy cane that you get. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 39:59

Mo, I thought you guys didn't believe in Santa Claus. We don't, but you get a free candy cane for seeing the old geezer, and the adults start running after them.

SPEAKER_14 40:12

Apparently not. But I gotta say, one thing I I do have to say is all the the like civilians, like all the the women, look like completely normal characters that you would see. Whereas all of the cops and the crooks, they're all these like over-the-top caricature stereo, you know, just just caricatures really of people, you know, the the noses are elongated, just everything is so enhanced, and yet all the other like the woman behind the counter and the woman running the orphan is just like perfectly you know drawn. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 40:48

I I do I've I debated whether I wanted to bring this up, but since you're bringing up how characters are drawn, you're talking about things in the 80s that you could get away with that you can't get away with now. The difference between the Caucasian characters and the African American characters, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 41:09

Yeah. Yeah. We'll we'll we'll put we'll leave it at that. We can leave it at that. We'll leave it at that. But yes, it is disservice. We'll say a disservice has been done. Except in the case of Zed, who probably was also drawn just as crazy. We'll bet. But the adults start chasing the orphans in like a Scooby-Doo style chase sequence, and the kids get away by hiding in the cops' paddy wagon. And Jones, luckily, this is where we get one of our first Jones things. He makes dog noises to scare Feeney away. Hey, where'd they go?

SPEAKER_03 41:44

Those Stephen orphans! I bet you know where they are.

SPEAKER_05 41:52

Tie up the dog!

SPEAKER_08 41:53

Feeney's gone! Hey, thanks for saving us! You guys are okay.

SPEAKER_05 41:58

I know you wouldn't steal anything.

SPEAKER_08 42:00

Mahoney, you believe in Santa Claus, don't you?

SPEAKER_14 42:04

And Mahoney, after Feeney leaves, Mahoney opens it up, reassures him that, hey, look, I believe you guys didn't do it. And yes, I also believe Santa's gonna come visit you this year. So that kind of puts them at ease and they feel better overall. Which is good for him making making Orphan's Day after all that. But Gotham, Mr. Gotham asks for nine officers on Christmas Eve to guard his store. Specifically nine. Specifically nine, yeah. Nine times are there nine times.

SPEAKER_15 42:36

Are there nine entrances or I mean no, there's nine main characters?

SPEAKER_14 42:43

Well, I I I know that, but like like when he said it, I'm like, aren't there nine characters?

SPEAKER_16 42:48

And then then they randomly brought in High not High Tower. Why am I drawing a blank? Tackleberry and Tackleberry and Caliberry and Callahan. They had any episode up until that point, right? But yet they had a random sized Santa costume.

SPEAKER_14 43:03

I was thinking the same thing. I was like, how did they know this plan of that everybody's gonna dress up as Santa or you know, and both of them had their own Santa suits? They weren't there, but I love police academy logic, it's just so great. So Mahoney and Jones argue about who's gonna be playing Santa, and Jones is like, you know, I should do it because I have the ho ho ho down, and he gives like this great Santa impression, and then in typical Jones fashion, makes sleigh bell noises.

SPEAKER_05 43:33

Tonight will be the best Christmas Eve ever. I can't wait to see those kids' faces when I walk in as Santa. Yo, I thought I was playing Santa. Jones, I've got Santa.

SPEAKER_14 43:55

Of course, they're they just cut in some actual sleigh build on this. But I Like we all pictured Michael Winslow doing these, and he probably could make a label. Yeah. I showed my kids just little clips of Jones, you know, just doing the and they cracked up the one from the second movie where you know the the ladies eating the hamburger and the guys eating the fries. Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 44:22

Personally, I don't even own a television. Hungry, Diane. I think I think my favorite Jones one, I think it was the first one where they're in the riot and other people are on the cart, and he's like, How do we get out of here? He's like, Give me, give me the damn thing. He goes, and he does the machine gun noise and everyone runs.

SPEAKER_06 45:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 45:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 45:06

He gets so good at that. I like in six where they essentially just give Michael Winslow a stand-up routine. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When they go into Jimmy Hendrix Club. Yeah. Yeah. And he does the Jimi Hendrix bit and a bunch of yeah.

SPEAKER_14 45:20

Donald Duck, yeah, Jimi Hendrix, which man, that Hendrix was fantastic. I was like, this sounds a lot like Jimmy. But I also like in part six where he plays the uh the robot, right? It's because part six is is like their counterpart.

SPEAKER_15 45:34

Where they do the they they have the uh yeah, the fights that happen, and he goes up against the martial arts guy and yeah, makes him look like he's a robot.

SPEAKER_14 45:44

My god, you're a robot. My god, you're a robot! Like, you know, mission destroy all that all that great stuff.

SPEAKER_17 45:54

Why do you think I took in all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, just you!

SPEAKER_13 46:01

Except at that guy who made sound effects.

SPEAKER_14 46:12

Where was I? Oh man, so they're all trying to hide from Harris because they know he's gonna ask them to work on Christmas Eve. They successfully hide for a while, but he does end up finding Hightower in a ridiculously small Santa suit because he's so huge, and Hooks as well in a too large Santa suit because she's kind of tiny. So he gets them to work. Zed and Sweet Chuck are arguing about being Santa as well, so he gets them. House and the professor are trying to get his suit to fit, and his belt flies off and hits Harris in the face. Now, I gotta say, this is probably one of the worst lines ever when he's like, most people need padding to play Santa, but you actually need to go on a diet. Diet.

SPEAKER_16 46:59

Ouch. So what was so what was the theme of the professor? I'm guessing it was kind of like what was it, Q and James Bond? Is that what they were going for?

SPEAKER_14 47:07

Yeah, Q or the guy from Nicked Gun. I can't remember his name at the moment. But yeah, basically, that was kind of that was the professor. He was their their gadget guy and things like that. But then we also get Tackleberry and Callahan in their Santa suits.

SPEAKER_12 47:22

And she says, Forget it, Tack. You're just not the Santa type.

SPEAKER_10 47:26

Oh no, I got a sack full of gifts.

SPEAKER_12 47:29

What kind of kid gets ammunition for Christmas?

SPEAKER_10 47:32

I did every year.

unknown 47:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 47:35

And he opens it up, and what is it? It's uh it's ammunition. Ammunition. Right, because she says, What kind of kid would want, yeah, would want ammunition for Christmas. He's like, I did. What I got every year. I believe it. But they manage to evade Harris with some tear gas for a bit. And he comes out and he's all his eyes are all watery and teary because of the tear gas. Lassard meets him, he's like, Oh, I also get choked up this time of year. That's so good. But all the Santa's are together arguing about who's actually going to be doing this when Harris finds them all and tells him, Hey, you're now gonna be guarding I Gotems. So suck it up. Now I did find out that this this particular series takes place right in between four and five. So makes sense.

SPEAKER_15 48:29

Yeah. I mean because fours were houses introduced, so it it had to have come after four, and then they still had Mahoney, and so it wouldn't have been after five.

SPEAKER_14 48:38

Right. So which also something that I didn't realize, although I should have, they released a police academy every year from 84 through 89. Like that's like one a year. I mean, I know they're probably super cheap to make, you know, and and you could probably film most of it really quickly, but that's that's insane. That like that's really I mean, that's it's just amazing to me that you could do that.

SPEAKER_15 49:05

Yeah, and now we have to wait like five years for a television show.

SPEAKER_14 49:09

So right, because then in 94 we got Mission to Moscow, and then what, 97 or 98 we got the uh the live action series.

SPEAKER_15 49:18

Yeah. Which wasn't it also just called Police Academy the series? Yeah. Yeah, the cartoon and the TV show. Yeah, you have the same topics.

SPEAKER_14 49:30

But it wasn't called the animated series, but it wasn't called that the series, right? Yeah. So now Lassard sees all the Santa's dressed up, and he's like, Oh, we're all dressing like Santa to deliver toys? All right, count me in, and he gets all excited. But the squad has to go be Santa at I Gottem's. I don't know why they all have to dress like Santa to guard diamonds, but good for them. They they're they're committed to the bit. And Ginny arrives because she remembers something about the crooks, and just as she's about to tell Mahoney what it is, the lights go out and the diamonds are missing.

SPEAKER_10 50:08

Spread out around the store and keep your eyes open.

SPEAKER_05 50:11

You heard Mr. Gotham. Ginny, what are you doing here?

SPEAKER_08 50:15

I just remembered something about those crooks you're looking for. You know the ones I saw last night.

SPEAKER_05 50:20

You saw the crooks?

SPEAKER_03 50:27

The diamonds! They're gone!

SPEAKER_14 50:29

In typical villain fashion, Grimple finds them in Ginny's bag and demands that she be arrested.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

Aha! I found our thief! Arrest this child.

SPEAKER_14 50:43

But Mahoney, he doesn't believe he's you know, he vouches for Ginny. He doesn't believe that she did it. And as she's being locked up in the office, she mentions that the crook had a gold tooth. That's my gold tooth. My gold tooth. Like that's something that he's gotta remember and start looking for. Which that's again with the gold tooth. We saw it in Harry in Home Alone. I mean, it's just that's like a dead giveaway, that gold tooth. So, crooks, if you ever think Oh, go ahead.

SPEAKER_16 51:12

Yeah, but if you're a kid, like so the the whole part of the thing was like I was a kid, I knew nothing about diamonds, but yet a seven-year-old knew, hey, I'm gonna steal all these expensive diamonds and put them in my backpack. Jimmy must these these orphans must be the mastermind criminal organization. They they probably could have been an inspector gadget, right? I mean, they they they can they can run this criminal organization, no problem being seven-year-olds. They're they're magnificent, they got away with it all.

SPEAKER_14 51:41

Yeah, I didn't care about diamonds. All I wanted was like toys.

SPEAKER_16 51:45

Yeah, no candy. No seven-year-old kid. Like, look, the TV's made sense. I'm a kid, I want a TV. I just can't pick it up. Let's be honest. Those things were we're we're monsters. But if I'm going to the store, like if I'm doing a bad Santa, I'm going to the toy section. I am getting the USS flag that's coming home with me. Oh, not diamonds.

SPEAKER_14 52:07

A million percent. Also, if you're if you're a prospective criminal, and I I shouldn't be saying this, but kids, if you grow up and you're thinking about being a criminal, like brush your teeth so you don't get, you know, don't have to get into a cat. Because that's just going to give you away. So Mahoney appeals to Gotham and he explains, look, they're orphans, they never get visited by Santa, but they have hearts of gold. They're not like they're not thieves, and of course, Zed is just bawling. And Godham sympathizes but says, Look, I get it, but it's a million dollars in diamonds. Like, what do you want me to do? Of course, Ginny, while all this is happening, sneaks out through the window because she does great cops. And she gets to the orphanage. Now, Lassard passes by a group of the police dogs because apparently they were a canine unit through all this animated series. Yep. But they give him the idea of rain dogs. And like these dogs are pretty smart. They actually grab a branch and like tie it to their to their heads and everything.

SPEAKER_18 53:11

So my canine branch.

SPEAKER_14 53:39

So he gets the idea for raindologs and he's gonna meet them at the orphanage. Now, Mahoney tricks Feeney into smiling and he sees his gold tooth.

SPEAKER_05 53:47

That's the last shot for. I guess you're right. Jenny was the thief. Finally a minute. And I knew you'd finally smile when I said it. You're under arrest. What fool? For not brushing your teeth. You got 14 carrots stuck in them. He's no more a thief than I am. That makes you partners. Because you have the store key, and you were by the diamonds when the lights went out.

SPEAKER_14 54:16

Realizes that Grimple was his partner because he had a store key, and he snatches it, and you can see like a little diamond connected to it. So Veney grabs a wreath and in the most impossible thing ever, and I know because I sold wreaths, puts it over his head and captures him and runs away. Now you've seen the way we fluff our wreaths, Vinny. Yeah, you know there's no way those wreaths are going over a person.

SPEAKER_15 54:45

But they've done it in so many cartoons.

SPEAKER_14 54:48

Yeah. Well, and maybe that means it was a cheap wreath. It wasn't a very fluffy wreath.

SPEAKER_16 54:53

I mean, I I bought a gigantic wreath off of Jerry from there. And I was it wrapped around Jerry. You literally bought it off of Jerry?

SPEAKER_14 55:02

She should have been. Yeah, there was another customer who put it on me and I couldn't move. No.

SPEAKER_16 55:06

No. But no, I mean, like the fit into this abnormal wreath, but yeah, it's oh cartoons, oh 80s.

SPEAKER_14 55:15

I know, right? Then we get another Ruby Spears Chase sequence. So very Scooby-Doo running around, hiding. Jones, now his third bit here. He makes a store announcement in his you know scratchy announcer voice.

SPEAKER_10 55:30

Attention, all Gotham's coppers. We have a special on crooks named Feeny and Grimple on floor two.

SPEAKER_14 55:37

Like intercom voice, I guess is a better way to say it. And uh Grimple turns on a lawnmower, which like manages to rip off Callahan's and Tackleberry's Santa suits.

SPEAKER_16 55:50

But did you notice that like in the next scene, uh Callahan had the had the Santa suit back on?

SPEAKER_14 55:58

That's amazing. Not surprised. Yeah, I mean continuity wasn't wasn't big in the 80s. Yeah, so Tag grabs his bazooka and blasts the lawnmowers because now they're all on and they're all just running wild.

SPEAKER_10 56:14

Freeze lawn breath.

SPEAKER_14 56:24

Which I don't know about you guys, but like my lawnmower doesn't just go. Like I I have I do have one that you can press the lever down.

SPEAKER_15 56:33

Self-propelled, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 56:34

Self-propelled, you know, but you have to be holding it down as soon as you let it go, it just stops.

SPEAKER_16 56:40

So you you both have never seen uh maximum overdrive, huh, Jerry?

SPEAKER_14 56:44

I have seen maximum overdrive. Proof that Stephen King was on cocaine, but uh yes, and admittedly, admittedly so. But Tack blasts the lawnmowers with his bazooka, hooks and house follow Feeney, but he uses a hatchet to pop some waterbeds, which waterbeds, I mean that's like so 80s, right there. Who who had one? Me, my parents, my aunt.

SPEAKER_16 57:12

Yeah, but they were so cold, like they had a heater on them. But unless you had that heater on, you froze. You can have had three covers on that bad boy, you still froze. It was terrible, it was a terrible idea.

SPEAKER_14 57:28

Well, in the valley, it's probably a good thing when it's like 100 you know 80 something degrees at night. But anyway, that like he pops these beds and the water just shoots out of it like a hose and splashes them and directionally, too. That's what I exactly. Yeah, yeah. It's somehow it found them and shot out that way.

SPEAKER_16 57:48

But he but he knew the store, Jerry. Remember, I can get just out of here. I know the store. So he knew that that waterbed, if you hit at this angle, was gonna shoot directly on the honey. It was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_14 58:00

But that makes me wonder how he found that out. Like, did a customer bring it in and complain, like, hey, this waterbed, if you puncture it just at this angle, it's gonna shoot out directly, you know, at 45 degrees to your right. I don't know, but that's why you're not supposed to take the tag off of it because the tag will let you know. That's right. The tag that's got all the info. So the crooks hop on bikes and they hightail it out of there. Zed and Sweet Chuck are following them on a trike, but they're caught on a Ferris wheel and end up kind of up at the top. These guys just can't catch a break. Luckily, Mahoney and Jones chase Grimple to the stereo department, but he evades them, and their beards get caught in the escalator, which was a legitimate fear of mine as a kid, getting my clothes caught in the escalator.

SPEAKER_16 58:48

That kid is back on the escalator. No, no more rats, no moots guys here. Oh wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 58:56

Oh wow, I haven't I haven't seen that since like the 90s.

SPEAKER_16 59:00

30 year anniversary. Jeez.

SPEAKER_15 59:05

Wow. One of kind of unofficially Stan Lee's one of his first quote-unquote cameos, yeah.

SPEAKER_14 59:12

Yeah, yeah. So Grimple and Feeney escape through the revolving door, but Hightower is there and stops it. And then, because he's Hightower, he spins it so fast that they fly out and they're caught by Mahoney and Jones. Now, Godham is shocked. He can't believe that his own employees would steal from him. I mean, if you have a million dollar diamonds, you gotta be careful who you're hiring. And if his face looks like a rat, you gotta watch out. And his name is Grimple. Like, come on, that's those are two signs right there. Hightower says to call him Super Santa.

SPEAKER_05 59:44

Fortunately, Hightower got him. Just call me Super Santa. Oops.

SPEAKER_14 59:50

He flexes and his suit just completely rips. And it reminded me of Brooklyn 99 when uh Terry Cruz had the vest on and he flexes and then it just pops and the feathers just fly everywhere of the down vest. Yeah, so he rips his suit, got him volunteers toys for the orphans because they returned they found the diamonds, and he says they can take all they can carry, and apparently they carried so much out because Hightower can carry everything that he fainted. So but don't worry, they put him on in the the mattress section.

SPEAKER_16 1:00:24

Yeah. Well, the mattress section was all flooded, so jerks.

SPEAKER_14 1:00:31

Well, luckily he probably has some good insurance. So he should be getting covered for those. Back at the orphanage, the squad goes caroling to them and they bring presents on Santa Lasard's raindog sled.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:45

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas.

SPEAKER_14 1:01:47

And that's kind of the end.

SPEAKER_15 1:01:49

And then there's a little bit, there's one of those And I love that one of the little kids, it's when Lassard comes up, he was like, Well, that's not the real Santa, but I believe.

SPEAKER_14 1:01:59

Well, the real Santa brought him people that would bring them toys. So yeah. Yeah. I get it. We get another little bit where House talks to the viewers about water and pool safety techniques. Yeah. Never go swimming alone. Because he splashes and all the water comes out after his cannonball. I gotta say, I love police academy. I think if they made a cartoon now, they probably could get away with like something more adult-oriented, you know, like Archer. I could see them doing an Archer style Police Academy show and it being really fun. But it just doesn't have the the draw anymore. But hey, mate, let's bring it back.

SPEAKER_15 1:02:38

Well, especially you yeah, you brought up with some of the voice actors, you brought up the the cartoon Cops. And I mean when you've got a show like Cops, where it's more action-packed, you know, the the characters are more superhero-like, right? Then yeah, something like this with just little goofy police officers, yeah, it doesn't really work.

SPEAKER_14 1:03:02

Yeah, I do wish there was a little bit more action. I think put Ruby Spears is doing like if Deke had made it, it would be a lot more action-oriented and probably closer in design to the actual characters as well.

SPEAKER_16 1:03:12

So I'm probably on the the side that most people don't agree with, but for a random 80s Christmas cartoon, I didn't think it was terrible. No, no, I I yeah, yeah, yeah. We yeah, I enjoyed watching it. I did too. So I I I watched it a couple times. Like I'll probably maybe add it into my rotation, but like I I go back to some of them, and I'm like, oh, some of these are terrible. I'm like, yes, this was terrible, but it it was watchable. Yeah, there were some of them when we went back. I went back and looked at like back in the day. I'm like, yeah, this isn't watchable. Like, I can't do this again.

SPEAKER_14 1:03:48

But oh, I know.

SPEAKER_16 1:03:50

I don't know if it's gonna be on my rotation, but it might be.

SPEAKER_14 1:03:54

It might be. I think I I think it's not gonna be yearly for me, but I think I'm gonna put it on every couple of years, every few years, just to be like, you know what? I love police academy. Let's I feel like watching this, yeah, but I don't think it's gonna be like I need to watch this, or it doesn't feel like Christmas.

SPEAKER_15 1:04:10

So the one thing we would at least as long as it's on Tubi. Sure, for sure. Yeah, I'm not paying for it. Yeah, yeah, not paying for it on Amazon.

SPEAKER_14 1:04:19

I've been looking for this for about four years now. I wanted to cover this back in like season two, and the only way you could get it was to buy the the DVDs of it, and I wasn't gonna do that, but which isn't even the full series, I don't think. No, it's not, it's it's only some of them, yeah.

SPEAKER_16 1:04:37

So the one thing we left out here is the fat boys. So they did the theme song. So I I never got the fat boy hype. Like the Chubby Checker song was kind of cool. What is it? Crush Groove and Disorderlies, they did Disorderlies, yeah. Yeah, I used to love that. Every time I think of Crush Groove, you guys ever see uh Dogma? You ever see the movie Dogma? Yeah, there's a quote in there to like this is coming from the guy that you know what would be a bigger movie, ET or Crush Groove, and he's like, Heck with you, time will tell on that one, but like I I I just I just the fact like I never got it. Like, I there's a lot of random things. I'm like, I can I can see, but they weren't great singers or rappers.

SPEAKER_14 1:05:23

I mean it was the 80s, man. Every everybody was everything, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you just needed a a gimmick and you were in. Yeah, I did like the disorderlies.

SPEAKER_16 1:05:34

That's uh that that was I mean, it was entertaining, don't get me wrong, but it was okay.

SPEAKER_14 1:05:39

I gotta say, so we talked about our favorite characters. If you could be in this particular episode, which character would you be?

SPEAKER_16 1:05:47

Um I don't know. I thought Commonan Lassard had a lot of good moments in it. Yeah. I mean he he he was he was he was good. Yeah, I think I'd have to go with that. I'm just trying to think. I mean Attacks out, Callahan's out. Maybe high tower, but Mahoney didn't have that many. He did, but it was mostly a lot of Harris and Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 1:06:14

I was thinking just for just for having fun at playing more of a slapstick role. I would say Harris. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:06:22

Move it, move it. I did I did kind of miss the move it's. I I would have liked to have well.

SPEAKER_15 1:06:29

That's just like Lassard. I wanted him to go, you know. There's been many, many times, you know, because that was the thing. George Gaines always had the, you know, very, very, you know, he'd repeat the the adjective or whatever.

SPEAKER_16 1:06:44

I kind of thought Lassard was the closest to the movie characters. I mean, Jones did the noises and stuff like that. Yeah. But like him being forgetful and not telling about the gold tooth. I mean, it I felt like it was the most on script with the movies.

SPEAKER_14 1:07:01

I agree. I I wanted to see more mischief from Mahoney, I think. Would have and maybe there is throughout the rest of the series. I don't recall. I only saw this one episode because I was editing the Raddies, but so I only watched this one. Maybe there is more throughout the rest of the series, but I would have liked to have seen more mischief from Mahoney. I think that would have been good. Jones was probably really close as well. Um because Jones really just does the kung fu and the sounds. But as far as like really their personality and their movie scripts coming out, yeah, I agree. Lassard is probably the closest. I think I'd probably just be Mahoney because he seems like he's just fun to be.

SPEAKER_16 1:07:39

Yeah, they made him out to be like the super nice guy in this, but he was kind of a jerk. In the movies, I was a jerk, but like he was a ladies' man, he did all this other kind of stuff. People didn't like him at first. So it kind of, you know, he was the most popular, maybe, but again, he wasn't like the nicest guy like they made him out to be. And not in a bad way. Like he you could be a jerk and still be a nice guy. I guess that makes if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_14 1:08:04

Oh, totally, yeah. He does change, you do see some character growth from him. So, like I I just watched one through six the last couple of days, it like it was on at work, so I got to watch it. Well, I should say it wasn't just on at work, I put it on at work, yeah. But I can do that now because we're a little bit slow. So I got to watch it. Yeah, you definitely see the progression where by three and four, he's starting to care more about the community, and you know, he actually in part four asks for um David Spade's character to, you know, and his friend to enroll in COP instead, you know, because he he went through the same thing and he was kind of a screw up, and then he wanted to redeem them as well. So he by this time, if this is after four, he is kind of a nice guy, but at the same time, he also still super glued Harris's um you know megaphone mouth of the megaphone. Yeah, so like you know, I I think I would have liked to have seen some a little bit more of that kind of thing. Okay, what would you say is your hap, hap, happiest memory or moment with police academy? And it can be in general or it can be Santa with a badge.

SPEAKER_15 1:09:13

It's not gonna be Santa with a badge.

SPEAKER_16 1:09:15

Um and I know this is gonna, I Jerry, this is gonna be kind of like the same one. I'm trying not to use the same stuff over and over, but I do remember watching this with my dad. Like it was my dad worked a lot, and he would came home, and I just remember he would be on HBO and we'd put it on and we'd laugh. Like it's the slapsick humor to go forth. Yeah, it had a little nudity, had a little bit of this, but it's all about the memories, you know, at some point in the 80s, and especially when you were eight or nine. And I remember sitting down, having popcorn, eating, you know, watching movies and laughing with them. So, yeah, there was funny parts in the movie, but to me it was still a something that I do remember. I I could still remember watching on HBO, seeing the HBO sign go by. Yeah, right. The the the movie, like the Saturday premieres, and and watching it. That would that that would probably have to be the best for me on this one.

SPEAKER_15 1:10:09

Nice. Yeah, I mean, kind of to go off of, you know, I hate to always sound like I'm just mimicking what you're saying, but yeah, these are these are the movies that were some of the things that I think like built my childhood, you know, even though they weren't they weren't child movies, but right, but it's the same thing, you know. We had it was the H HBO recording of Police Academy 4, had it on the VHS, and I wore that VHS out, you know. Yeah, you know, it's you know, right at the very beginning, you know, dungeon. Yeah, that all the way through, and then I I yeah, I had uh we didn't mention this, but before we started recording, I showed you guys I had the figures, the figures, yeah, based on the cartoon. Yeah, yeah. So huge police academy fan.

SPEAKER_14 1:11:05

Zed and Tackleberry and Jones.

SPEAKER_15 1:11:07

And Jones. Yeah, I I was a huge police academy fan. You know, it was just that I mean it's almost like with police things like Police Academy, things like you know, Mel Brooks movies, you know, the airplane movies, you know, just that type of humor, like just so developed, you know, kind of the my childhood and just the way I saw grew up with things. So yeah.

SPEAKER_16 1:11:34

These were the initial movies we quoted when I was in in elementary school.

SPEAKER_14 1:11:38

All the time, yeah, all the time.

SPEAKER_16 1:11:40

Yeah, you you go forth, yeah. And and and you go forth and and all these these quotes, like surely you can't be serious. Like, I still use them. Like it it it not this built me then, but my knowledge of random. I always tell people I have so much random, worthless knowledge in my head, and it still comes out every single time where I can just do a random quote like I did tonight, and everyone's just like, What are you talking about? Oh my god, how do you remember that? But it's true. I sat down and it made it quotable, and every one of your friends knew it. And it was this was one of the first movies I can remember that we quoted. I I think at some point in my timeline that blue oyster was a verb at some point.

SPEAKER_14 1:12:31

I don't want to know, I don't want to know.

SPEAKER_16 1:12:33

Yeah, but but it but it but no, but it it it's like some of the stuff Mahoney did. I I I kind of wanted a ATV. Remember the beach scene with the ATV chasing them? And like I didn't know what an ATV was, and I'm like, I want one now. Like it it kind of developed me going forth, and that's why when you were like, Let's do this, I'm like, I don't remember the the cartoon that much. I do, but I love the TV show so much, and I wanted to be a part of it and yeah, talk about it.

SPEAKER_14 1:13:01

Yeah, very cool. Well, now we come to my favorite part of the show, which is a little segment I call Gag Me with the Spoon, where we do our best impression of our least favorite part of this episode here. As a guest, I'll let you go first, just kind of set up the scene for us, and whoever wants to go first is fine.

SPEAKER_15 1:13:16

Well, I was just gonna say, I think it's uh honestly when you meet the uh the the manager and all, and it's it's just that that immediate like yeah, I think it's these kids, yeah. They're the ones, it's them.

SPEAKER_14 1:13:31

That's actually a really good grimple, yeah. Grimple that name does fit in with like that whole police academy universe, Mahoney and Tackleberry and uh Grimple. It's perfect. What about you?

SPEAKER_16 1:13:49

The one that the one that got me, and I'm probably gonna misquote it, but you had Tackleberry in this episode for like 30 seconds, and who what kind of kid gets artillery for for Christmas? Well, I got it every year. Like that was I was like, that's the best you got out of Tackleberry with all the funny stuff that he's done through all this. That's what you used him for in this episode.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:12

Yeah, yeah. So I went with this really dumb line here. Grimple asks, you know, what kind of dummy do you think I am? And Mahoney says, I'm not sure. There's a dozen kinds.

SPEAKER_16 1:14:26

I did chuckle at that.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:27

I have oh man, but you know, G.I. Joe taught us that knowing is half the battle. What do you think the other half is?

SPEAKER_15 1:14:36

Uh knowing the right sound effect to use.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:40

Yep, for sure.

SPEAKER_16 1:14:41

Never trust the guy with the gold tooth.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:46

It's it's true.

SPEAKER_16 1:14:48

How many guys do you know with the gold tooth that you trust? I mean, Joe Pesci he didn't trust, he didn't trust this guy. I mean, Mike Tyson he trusted for a while until I guess he was beating up girls. But I mean, look, I've there's not one, there's not one gold tooth person that I I know that which is trustworthy. Brush your teeth. Isn't that what they said? Isn't that what they said in the cartoon? If you brush your teeth, you wouldn't have a gold tooth. I'm like, that's not how it works, but okay.

SPEAKER_15 1:15:15

Um yeah, no, uh, go ahead. You you well, I was just saying you brought up that that line from Mahoney, which is a very Mahoney line. It is a very Mahoney line because it was what the first movie when and I'm getting you know, it's a little risque, but Harris says, Nobody screws me, and and Mahoney says, Well, maybe you'll meet the right girl and that'll change.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:39

Yeah, it's so good, yeah.

SPEAKER_16 1:15:45

Again, 80s humor that we got away with, guys.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:50

I know, and my kids can I watch like nope, nope, you're not watching that.

SPEAKER_16 1:15:54

Yeah, come on, Jerry. We turned out, we turned out well.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:57

I'll show you little clips of certain things, and when you're 13.

SPEAKER_15 1:16:01

Come on, you know, we all ran around. We we all ran around, uh, ran around saying things like Wolfman's got nards. Like, oh, I showed him Monster Squad.

unknown 1:16:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:15

Oh man. No, that's good. That's good. Uh such a good movie. Yeah, I guys, this has been fun. What do you want to plug? Like, tell me about your shows or anything else.

SPEAKER_15 1:16:25

Well, I mean, we're in the heading into the month of May, and over at Moving Panels, we do a whole month of animation. We call it anime shin. Uh so yeah, so we've got Under the Red Hood and Hulk versus that we're gonna talk about this month. So yeah, looking forward to that.

SPEAKER_16 1:16:43

Right on. I don't I don't got much going on, Jerry. I I tell you every time I'm gonna be doing my own podcast at some point, and I did buy a computer to do this. But yeah, I don't got much just uh as I say, always support your local businesses, go out and do this now. It's not Christmas time, but they can always use your business gang. So go out and uh support your local your local folks.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:06

For sure, for sure. And looking, yeah, I know Laramie, we uh we just had recorded a couple episodes for your show, so on the moon night and some others. So very excited for all those to come out and and listen to what we said because it was fun, it was a lot of fun. So make sure you check it out. Go to Huey and Bax on Instagram, so cute, and you'll enjoy those pictures there as well.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:29

I played I have this delusion.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:36

You can all be Santa Claus.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:43

Let's deliver these gifts.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:47

The only place you're playing standard is the igordom state.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:54

But we promised Ginny and the kids. We better catch those crooks fast.

SPEAKER_17 1:17:58

Everyone is dressing like Santa Wonderful Company!

SPEAKER_14 1:18:05

Guys, thanks again. This was a lot of fun, and I'll end it with hey Ginny, you were right. There really is a Santa. So check us out on our social media pages, which you can find at linktree.com slash totally radchmas. And if you're feeling like the squad giving gifts to orphans for Christmas, leave us a review on iTunes. It helps us reach more people and spread some rad holiday cheer. Now don't forget to check out our merch shop on tpublic.com and our super dope website, totallyradchristmas.com. On Samson, on Lobo, on Bonehead Harry's, on Silly, on Skitsy. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Later, dudes.