0227: The Particulars of Peter with Author Kelly Conaboy

Author Kelly Conaboy discusses her delightful and engaging book The Particulars of Peter: Dance Lessons, DNA Tests, and Other Excuses to Hang Out with My Perfect Dog. Check out more of her writing at KellyConaboy.com.

Amazon is one place you can buy Kelly’s book and help Rosie Fund. If you choose a charity with Amazon Smile, a portion of the proceeds from all your eligible purchases — which is most things on Amazon — go to that charity. We are very grateful to everyone who chooses Rosie Fund as their charity.

Some of the best quotes from the late Douglas Adam. One of my favorites is “He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”

Celebrate 5 years of Rosie Fund by supporting our campaign to sponsor 50 dogs. You can donate at RosieFund.org or through our Facebook page. You can contribute by making a purchase from the store on our website or buying a t-shirt at Bonfire.com. Also check out our page on BarkYours, the online mall with gifts for people who love their dogs.

Music for this episode is provided by alternative string duo, The Wires. Visit them at TheWires.info. Learn fiddle and cello-fiddle online — even if you've never played before — from Laurel Morgan Parks and Sascha Groshang at FiddleLife.com.

The transcript for this episode is available on the Dog Words Buzzsprout page: Buzzsprout.com/840565.

Make a donation at RosieFund.org or through our Facebook page. You can contribute by making a purchase from the store on our website or buying a t-shirt at Bonfire.com. Also check out our page on BarkYours, the online mall with gifts for people who love their dogs.

Rosie Fund online:
RosieFund.org
Facebook.com/rosiefund
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YouTube.com/rosiefund

Transcript

KELLY  0:03 
I was talking to one of my very good friends and she was just like, "Do you ever look at your dog and just cry because you love them so much?" And I was like, "YES!"

PHIL   0:17 
I'm Phil Hatterman and this is Dog Words presented by Rosie Fund.

Today, author Kelly Conaboy discusses her delightful and engaging book The Particulars of Peter - Dance Lessons, DNA Tests, and Other Excuses to Hang Out with My Perfect Dog.

If you're new to Dog Words, in each episode we explore the world of dog care and companionship. "We save each other," is the motto of Rosie Fund, which simply means the more we do for dogs, the more they do for us. And they already do a lot.

If you love dogs, you'll love Dog Words. We welcome your comments, questions and suggestions. Go to the podcast page at RosieFund.org to share your thoughts. Please download, follow, rate, and most importantly, share Dog Words.

Celebrate five years of Rosie Fund by supporting our campaign to sponsor 50 dogs. You can donate on our website or Facebook page. You can also contribute by making a purchase from the store on our website, buying a t-shirt at Bonfire.com, or buying our note cards and shirts on BarkYours.com. Links are in the description. Your donations and purchases help fund the Rosie Life Starter Kits that make sure these senior and harder-to-adopt dogs have some of the items they'll need in their forever home.

Please follow Rosie Fund on social media. Subscribe to the free Rosie Fund YouTube channel that offers great videos of Rosie, Peaches, and shelter dogs, including some exclusive content like the sweet KC Pet Project dog featured in our latest post.

Next time on Dog Words Jennifer Basulto, co-founder of Bitch New York, takes us shopping in an online boutique for dogs.

The mission of Rosie Fund is to provide humans with the resources and education they need to give senior and harder-to-adopt dogs a better life. Thank you for joining our mission.

Today's guest on Dog Words is Kelly Conaboy and dominating the frame — because I have video — is Peter. Welcome Kelly and Peter!

KELLY  2:17 
Thank you so much for having us. Yes, Peter is sniffing something on the computer, it seems like. Yes, thank you so much for having us.

PHIL   2:25 
My wife brought your book to our attention. You are the author of The Particulars of Peter - Dance Lessons, DNA Tests, and Other Excuses to Hang Out with My Perfect Dog. It's not the only thing you've written. So we'll talk about some of those works as well, because I encourage people to read them and they're easy to access, because you have them on your website. People can click through. What inspired you to write The Particulars of Peter?

KELLY  2:50 
Um, well, I adopted Peter. I fostered him first and then adopted him. And at that point, my writing has always just been sort of, I don't really have a beat. It's just kind of about whatever is interesting to me at that moment. So it's like pretty varied. But when I adopted Peter, it sort of shifted into being like me consistently pitching stories about Peter to the point where people were like, "Okay, maybe that's enough on the dog beat." So it's sort of kind of naturally evolved into well, maybe this should be all packaged together as sort of a book rather than me trying to turn various websites into like Peter.com.

PHIL   3:36 
Had you already written about him columns or just journaling for your own interests?

KELLY  3:44 
Yeah. Well, the first thing I wrote about him, I think this was the first thing was it's actually included in the book that the DNA test chapter that was originally an article for The Outline, which is a website that doesn't exist anymore. But basically, I wanted to DNA test him and the test was like $300. So I was like, "How can I expense this?" So I wrote about him and it was fun. And the reaction to it was good. So that was also kind of the jumping off point. And like maybe people would actually be interested in a book about this.

PHIL   4:20 
When you read a book about someone else's dog, or just a column, there's two things that people identify with. They identify with the dogs like, "Yeah, my dog does that. That sounds just like my dog or my friend's dog." But they also identify with the dog's human. "That's exactly how I feel about my dog. That's what I would do." And there are of course, degrees of relatability depending on the dog, depending on the human. I found both aspects so relatable. Even though for the most part my dog is a different personality. Peaches is very different from Peter. But just really the connection and the focus, the relationship between you and Peter was just what I feel about Peaches, like "Why wouldn't everyone else love Peaches as much as I love Peaches?" Of course, write a book about Peter, everyone is gonna want to know everything about Peter. And as I'm reading it, I want to know everything about Peter..

KELLY  5:25 
Oh, thanks! Yeah, that was sort of my hope. One of the things that I was nervous about before writing it was my writing until that point hadn't been very focused on myself. Like, I didn't do a lot of like personal writing. And the book is like, pretty personal, or at least, you know, it's about me, and it's about Peter. But it was comforting. How I like, explained it away to myself was that my hope was that people would read it and sort of see themselves in the me character rather than think so much about me and my life, but like, "Oh, I am absolutely crazy about my dog in the same way" sort of thing rather than, you know, this person is crazy.

PHIL   6:14 
Well, you can be trepidatious about it turning into showing pictures of your kids. "Look at my beautiful kids. This is my kid going to camp and this is my kid reading a book." And, "I really don't care."

KELLY  6:28 
Yes. Right. Like, "I have my own kid. I don't care."

PHIL   6:33 
Yeah, "And your kid really isn't that cute. Somebody needs to tell you this." And it's not just that I identified with you, I identified with Peter, I identified with the relationship. I also loved your writing style.

KELLY  6:46 
Oh, thank you.

PHIL   6:47 
I would be curious — I'm not going to tip my hand and tell you who I think might be an influence, and maybe it's not a direct influence, maybe you've never had any exposure this person — but I'm curious to find out who would you describe as your writing influences as far as your style? Your prose?

KELLY  7:06 
Um, Jack Handy is a big influence. Um, not that...

PHIL   7:13 
Do you mind — and if you do mind, I will edit this question out so I don't look like an ass — how old are you?

KELLY  7:20 
Oh, I'm 34. So...

PHIL   7:24 
34 seems kind of young to me for the Jack Handy reference.

KELLY  7:28 
Well, I've, yeah, I've been obsessed with Jack Handy since I was probably like, 18. But yeah, he's a big influence. As far as the book goes reading like, Samantha Irby's books and just realizing like, "Oh, you could have a book that is very conversational, and like, just completely like what you want it to be." I guess. I don't know exactly how to describe it. But that was like, like, "Oh, a book can be this." And that is sort of inspiring to know.

PHIL   8:01 
Your, your writing often has just kind of a turn of a phrase or a twist that I hadn't thought of Jack Handy but now that you mention it, his little brief inserts, little title cards that used to be on Saturday Night Live never went where you thought they were going.

KELLY  8:19 
Yeah, that's my...

PHIL   8:20 
When you drop your keys in the lava flow just let 'em go 'cause they're gone. And I find that humorous. That's, that's entertaining. And I could go down the whole list of all the great Jack Handy. So that I can see that.

KELLY  8:35 
That little twist of surprise at the end is what I strive for.

PHIL   8:41 
But it's, it's also it's earned. It's not forced.

KELLY  8:46 
Yeah. Yeah.

PHIL   8:47 
And which put me in the mind of as I was reading it I thought of Douglas Adams.

KELLY  8:54 
Oh!

PHIL   8:55 
And I can pay no higher compliment than comparing someone to Douglas Adams. Especially his essays.

KELLY  9:02 
Sure. I mean, I'm not overly familiar, but that's very flattering. Thank you.

PHIL   9:07 
So yeah, so certainly Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency books. But even more so his essays, his nonfiction really is a similar style.

KELLY  9:19 
Okay, I'll read them and see if I'm secretly ripping them off somehow.

PHIL   9:25 
Yeah, it's an homage to Douglas Adams. You're not ripping him off. Yeah. Any of our listeners who are fans of Douglas Adams, you will love The Particulars of Peter. You'll love Kelly's books. I will link to something Douglas Adams also in the description. I'll find something online. I'm sure there's something. As you were writing, had everything that happened in the book happened before you started writing, or was this unfolding as you wrote? Did you know where it was going to end, I guess is what I'm asking? Or I'm gonna write until I'm done?

KELLY  10:08 
Um, well, I knew all of the different like, I had sort of planned out all of the different things I wanted to do with him. Like all the different activities and like all the different things I wanted to write about, like spying on him, like, do dogs go to heaven, that sort of thing. I had that all planned, but it sort of came together in a different way than I had imagined it, because like, in the book, he gets injured and that sort of threw a wrench into a lot of it. So I sort of had to work around that. And that's sort of made it take on a different shape. Yeah. But yeah, for the most part, it was planned out. And then it was just sort of piecing it together in a way that made sense.

PHIL   10:55 
This isn't a spoiler, because we've already talked about what Peter is doing as we're conducting this interview. He survives the book.

KELLY  11:02 
Yes. I was like, should we put this on the cover? Like The particulars of Peter colonThe Dog Doesn't Die?

PHIL   11:10 
Yeah, there's moments in the book where you think, "Oh, no. This is gonna take a turn." But it's not that kind of book. But, dare I say, readers will probably shed a tear or two, if they're a dog lover as they're reading this. Because there's many sweet moments that either through relief or joy, they might get a little emotional.

KELLY  11:35 
Yeah.

PHIL   11:36 
And again, it's earned. It's not cheap. You don't play with the reader's emotions. Everything in this book is well-earned.

KELLY  11:43 
Yeah, no, I don't try to make you cry, if you do cry.

PHIL   11:47 
You just share your truth.

KELLY  11:49 
I just share my truth! But, yeah, and that was another thing like, about wanting to write the book and like, realizing that there was this like way to relate to people who, like, I was talking to one of my very good friends, and she was just like, "Do you ever look at your dog and just cry because you love them so much?" And I was like, "Yes!" So I knew that if we both had that bond, there must be other people who have this overwhelming love that they might want to see in other people or like, reflected back to them.

PHIL   12:28 
Yeah, I think it's an enjoyable book, whether someone is a dog lover or not. I'm guessing most of our listeners are dog lovers since this is called Dog Words, just talking about dogs. But even if someone's not a dog lover, it's just a good read. It's fun. If someone has any sense of humanity, or a soul, they should like the book. You don't have to be a dog lover. And if it sounds like I'm really pushing this book, it's because I really loved it. And I can't imagine anyone not loving it.

KELLY  12:59 
Ah, thank you so much for saying that.

PHIL   13:01 
Were there episodes or chapters that you started on that had much promise, but ultimately did not make it to the book for whatever reason?

KELLY  13:12 
Yeah, there were a few things like, there are companies that you pay them a ton of money and they'll come give your dog like a huge birthday party sort of situation. Like that ridiculous, like, celebrity dog birthday party thing. And I thought it would be sort of funny to do one of those for Peter and write about it.

PHIL   13:33 
And expense it.

KELLY  13:34 
Right. And expense it. Exactly. But then literally one problem was I realized I couldn't expense it. The publisher was not going to pay for that. And it was expensive. But then yeah, it sort of fell apart for that reason and other reasons, but it was gonna be about those sort of opulent things you can do for your dog. And there's a chapter on dog products and stuff, too. So that's still sort of in there. But yeah, my dream to throw him a huge party, that that sort of failed. I'm sure there were other things, too. But that's the one that comes to mind.

PHIL   14:06 
You met lots of interesting people, and interesting dogs, of course, but certainly interesting people along the way. What were some of the surprises? Situations you got yourself into where you're wondering, "How did I get here? Who are these people?"

KELLY  14:22 
I guess the most surprising, there's a chapter about dog psychics. And I talked to so many of them for the story. And I didn't really expect to like them all so much. Like not that I expected to dislike them. But I sort of came into it very skeptical of all of it. Not that I don't remain skeptical, but many of them or really all of them that I talked to really just wanted to help animals and help their caretakers understand them better, which I didn't realize at the beginning was a part of like the whole animal communicator business. So that was surprising. And also, I got two psychic readings about Peter. One of them was great. The other one was terrible. Which I also was Not expecting. And like really put me in a very emotionally dark place. Because the psychic he wasn't picking up on Peter but he said he was picking up on a dog that I had before Peter who did pass away. And I was not expecting it to go there. And it was like, "Oh, gosh, I'm paying you $75 to make me very sad over the phone."

PHIL   15:34 
It's one thing to be a skeptic. You're approaching it as a journalist. You're the John Stossel. And expecting them to be charlatans.

KELLY  15:44 
Yeah.

PHIL   15:45 
But to come into it as a skeptic and finding out they're well-meaning and they believe it. That's different from being a scammer.

KELLY  15:55 
Yeah, just trying to swindle people. I mean, I'm sure those people exist, too. But at least all the ones I talked to really seem to care about animals and cared about, yeah, just connecting them and really like, making the human understand that their pet has like a consciousness.

PHIL   16:14 
If it gets the client to where they need to be...

KELLY  16:16 
Yeah.

PHIL   16:18 
...then someone got their money's worth. A service was provided.

KELLY  16:23 
Yeah.

PHIL   16:24 
Well, I'm gonna throw out a Douglas Adams reference. In Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Dirk Gently is a holistic detective. That's how he approaches crimes, that everything is interconnected. So when he tails someone, it has no bearing on the actual case that he's working on. He doesn't follow the wife of the guy who hired him or the car that's parked outside the person's house. He just follows someone random because he's a holistic detective. And it doesn't get him where he wanted to go. But it often gets him where he needed to be.

KELLY  17:05 
Well, there you go.

PHIL   17:07 
So perhaps that's the same perspective as pet psychics. It might not get you where you thought you were going to go. But if it gets you where you need it to be,

KELLY  17:15 
Yes. It was all worth it.

PHIL   17:16 
 ...it was worth it. What has been the reaction to the book aside from my gushing review?

KELLY  17:23 
I've gotten a lot of emails from people who want to tell me about their dog, which I love.

PHIL   17:28 
And you just write 'em back, "Write your own book."

KELLY  17:30 
"I don't want to read this!" No, it's so sweet. They'll like, send me pictures of their dog. I've heard from a lot of people who also have dogs named Peter, which is fun. I mean, obviously, there are a lot of people who are like, "This book is annoying. Why would I ever care about somebody's dog." Which I expected. But yeah, it seems like...

PHIL   17:53 
From people who actually read the book?

KELLY  17:55 
From, yeah, I mean, I assume. People online who are mad about it.

PHIL   17:59 
Well, people don't have to actually read something or meet someone or do an activity to hate it.

KELLY  18:06 
That's true. That's true. I don't like the idea of it.

PHIL   18:08 
People can issue judgment with absolutely no investigation of the topic at hand. Adam Carolla makes a great point because he does documentaries primarily about car racing and cars. So he's done Willie T. Ribbs and Paul Newman. And he did the 24 Hour War, which was the movie Ford v. Ferrari before the movie Ford v. Ferrari. He did a documentary about it. And he says, he'll tell people, "I think you would like my documentaries." It's like, "I'm not into cars." Well, it doesn't matter. It's a good story. Kinda like all documentaries...

KELLY  18:45 
Right.

PHIL   18:46 
...if it's a good story, it's a good doc. You don't have to be into the thing. And then you learn something about the thing.

KELLY  18:52 
Yeah. That's true.

PHIL   18:54 
So yeah, don't don't let your love of dogs or lack of love of dogs interfere with your enjoyment of The Particulars of Peter. Is there something you're working on now? Like a sequel, like The Generalities of Peter, or something unrelated to Peter, that's okay, too.

KELLY  19:14 
No sequel in the works, yet. Right now, I'm working on the relaunch of the site Gawker. I'm going to be writing there.

PHIL   19:24 
Oh, wow. How long has Gawker been away?

KELLY  19:30 
Um, a couple of years. Like, I forget, like three or four years, maybe it shut down. But yeah, it's coming back. Probably — well, this summer sometime, maybe in a couple weeks. And I'm working on the relaunch and then I'll be writing there. Sometimes about Peter, I'm sure. But yeah, that's the main thing right now.

PHIL   19:50 
Has Peter done anything noteworthy since the end of the book that were you still writing the book this would have been another chapter?

KELLY  19:58 
Oh my gosh, I'm sure.

PHIL   20:00 
Perhaps on a daily basis?

KELLY  20:04 
Every day. Well, he's like, gotten more into hiking, which is obviously like...

PHIL   20:10 
With you or is he just going on to L.L. Bean and buying stuff and...

KELLY  20:16 
Yeah, he got his — No, but with me. I'll bring him but he's like, it makes me sort of feel like a bad parent to him that like, I didn't know this about him before. But like, over the past few months I've taken him like hiking and he'll like scramble over like, logs, and he just seems to really enjoy it. And I feel like,"Oh, no. I should have been doing this with him for the past few years. He loves it so much." So yeah, if I were doing the book, I would probably include something or maybe I'll go camping with them or something like that and see if he actually enjoyed that. A very fitting chapter. But yeah, I mean, every day, he does something that's like... Oh, and I've taught him a couple weeks ago, I taught him how to boop me on the nose. Which I really love. Not that that maybe would be included in the book. But it's just a new thing about him that now whenever he wants anything, he'll smush his nose right into my face, because he knows I'll give him a treat or whatever he wants when he does that. So that's an interesting new discovery in our lives.

PHIL   21:22 
People who don't have dogs, I don't think realize how the relationship evolves the same way relationships do between humans. I think their assumption, if they're not a dog person, if they don't actually have a dog, and maybe if they are a dog person, but don't have a dog. They think it's like buying a car. That you get the car figured out. And now I know how to operate this and where the buttons are for the cruise control and the stereo and the seat warmers. And then I just enjoy this car until I get another car.

KELLY  21:55 
Mm hmm.

PHIL   21:56 
But it's just like a person where I didn't used to enjoy this activity with this person. We didn't realize we shared this interest. And now we do. O we discovered this thing together. And now we do this together. But then we both got bored of this other thing or we both got old and can't do it anymore. It evolves just like any other relationship.

KELLY  22:14 
Yeah, that was sort of what I hoped also would be a takeaway from the book. Like a desire to really understand who your dog is as like their own little person, rather than just, ""Oh, I have a dog and dogs are like this. But I have my dog. And this is what he is like, in particular."

PHIL   22:37 
Yes. And that is a particular of Peter. And what you accept from a dog that you don't accept from people. And what you expect from a dog. You expect the unconditional love that you don't expect from every person in your life. There's probably a couple people in your life or maybe a handful. But you just get that unconditional love continuously from them. Even when they're being moody or passive aggressive, you know, they love you.

KELLY  23:10 
Yeah, and you love them no matter what.

PHIL   23:13 
I love my wife, but I don't walk into a room and stare at her for two minutes to make sure she's breathing.

KELLY  23:25 
Yeah, you don't keep the camera on her and zoom in on her belly to make sure it's going up and down.

PHIL   23:32 
And you get nervous, like,  " How long do they go between breaths? Is she holding her breath? What is...okay, she breathed?"

KELLY  23:42 
Yeah, I did that so much during the night when I first adopted Peter. I still do it like, will wake up in the night and not be able to feel him breathing and then freak out momentarily and he'll wake up and be like, "What? Why are you bothering me?"

PHIL   23:58 
Or do a little snort. It's like, "Okay, good." Or a snoring dog? If I had a roommate in college who snored like Peaches, I would be plotting their death.

KELLY  24:09 
I know. But it's so sweet when it's a dog.

PHIL   24:12 
But when it's the dog I just want to lay awake and listen to it.

Yeah.

I would buy an app of dog snoring.

KELLY  24:21 
Yeah.

PHIL   24:22 
I just give away a million dollar idea. I will probably edit that out. So someone doesn't steal that and I can work on it. Well, it's been a delight to have you on. I cannot recommend The Particulars of Peter highly enough. Again, there will be a link in the description for this episode to The Particulars of Peter and perhaps an online essay from Douglas Adams. Any final thoughts for our listeners, for dog lovers everywhere.

KELLY  24:50 
Just hang out with your dog for me today. If you have one.

PHIL   24:55 
I think that's a good tip. And that's what I will do. As soon as we sign off here I will go hang out with Peaches. And Kelly I've enjoyed this immensely. If you have anything else you want to share with our listeners, let me know. We will gladly have you back on.

KELLY  25:13 
Well, thank you so much for having me and for having Peter. He's around here, too. But yeah, this has been so great. Thank you.

PHIL   25:25 
I'm Phil Hatterman and you've been listening to Dog Words presented by Rosie Fund.

Thank you to author Kelly Conaboy and her perfect dog Peter. Order The Particulars of Peter - Dance Lessons, DNA Tests and Other Excuses to Hang Out with My Perfect Dog by clicking the Amazon Smile link in the description. If you choose a charity with Amazon Smile, a portion of the proceeds from all your eligible purchases — which is most things on Amazon — go to that charity. We are very grateful to everyone who chooses Rosie Fund as their charity.

To read more from Kelly, a link to her website is in the description. I promised a link to an essay from the late Douglas Adams. Instead, I offer a link to some of his best quotes. If some of them sound familiar, it's because television and movies have been stealing from him for years. There are also links to the Dog Words episodes we referenced in today's interview. If you find an old episode you'd like, be sure to share it with your friends.

Next time on Dog Words, Jennifer Basulto, co-founder of Bitch New York takes us shopping in an online boutique for dogs.

A big thank you to alternative string duo The Wires featuring cellist Sascha Groshang and violinist Laurel Morgan Parks for playing the wonderful music you've heard on today's and previous episodes of Dog Words. Supporting The Wires supports our mission. When choosing the music for each episode of Dog Words, I try to find something from The Wires that fits with the tone of that episode. By no means have I played every song from their catalogue. There's much more from The Wires than what you hear on this podcast. Learn more about The Wires at TheWires.info and download their music on iTunes. Check out FiddleLife.com and learn to play fiddle and cello-fiddle online from Laurel and Sasha, even if you've never played before.

Celebrate five years of Rosie Fund by supporting our campaign to sponsor 50 dogs. You can donate on our website or Facebook page. You can also contribute by making a purchase from the website store, buying a t-shirt at a Bonfire.com or putting some of our merch in your cart when you shop at BarkYours. Links are in the description. Your donations help fund the Rosie Life Starter Kits that make sure the senior and harder-to-adopt dogs have some of the items they'll need in their forever home.

As always, please download, follow, rate, and share Dog Words. This helps us with sponsorships. Then Rosie Fund can help more dogs. Support Rosie Fund by following us on social media and please subscribe to the free Rosie Fund YouTube channel. Our latest post features a sweet KC Pet Project dog looking for a forever home.

Send us your comments, questions and suggestions at RosieFund.org and let us know if you would like to be a sponsor or guest of the Dog Words podcast. Thank you for listening and remember, we save each other.

DISCLAIMER: This document is a transcription obtained through a third party. There is no claim to accuracy on the content provided in this document and divergence from the audio file is to be expected. Some content may be omitted, particularly when there is crosstalk.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai