Hi and welcome to the Mindful Shape Podcast, I’m Paula Parker a life coach specializing in weight loss. I know that many of you listening already know so much about how to lose weight already. Even if you aren’t up to speed on the most recent research on weight loss, you can probably identify where you might be overeating. Maybe you eat healthy all week and then on the weekends you overeat or have a few drinks. Maybe it’s after dinner snacking, and you know that if you were to cut that out that icecream, it would likely make a difference. Or it might be as simple as meal planning for the week so that you don’t finish work at 5, are ravenous and just eat whatever’s around or order take out. 

We all know what we SHOULD be doing but yet we just aren’t doing it. And nothing is more painful than knowing what to do and letting yourself down constantly. So, I really want to help you out on this one. If you came needing a little motivation today, you’re in luck. Whether you need to cut yourself some slack, or practice a little tough love, this episode is all about helping you get some momentum going.

We’ll explore the real reasons you’re not doing what’s needed toward being at your natural weight - I promise you won’t feel worse about yourself, and I’ll talk about some tangible strategies you can start using now to get yourself A LOT more motivated and maybe even enjoy the process of losing weight a little bit more too.

1. The first thing we want to do is identify 3 things that you could do this week that would help you lose weight. You may have more, but narrow it down to the top 3 that you think would make the most difference. For me that’s meal planning for the week, sticking to the number of exceptions I’ve planned and eating 2 meals a day.
2. The second thing we want to do is write out all the reasons we’re not doing those things now. Get really, really clear here. You want to reflect on the last month or so and be specific. When we’re really vague about this - like it’s my mindset or I have no willpower, there’s no solution and we feel even more defeated. So the key really is to be specific. What are the thoughts that are creating the wrong mindset for losing weight? For example you might be thinking, ‘I’ve tried everything, and I can never stick to anything.” or ‘I don’t want a life without icecream, so what’s the point.” When you get all of these thoughts out on paper and take a look you really get to see how negative and defeating they are. And you might be like, but they’re so true! My truth is that I haven’t been able to stick to anything. I really love icecream.” And as your friend I’m going to be like, “Yeah hmm well you look great so don’t worry about it. Let’s go get some Halo top and watch the Love is Blind Reunion. As your coach though, I’m gonna say - stop it. I’m going to say, well it’s no wonder you can’t believe in yourself if you’re constantly reminding yourself of failed attempts at weight loss. No wonder you’re eating icecream at night when you keep thinking, I can’t live without it. 

We need to get real with ourselves about how our thinking is making it more, not less challenging to release the weight. It can even feel good to do this. Sometime what I see is people saying, I’m my own worst enemy - I know it’s me who’s getting in the way. And they’re blaming themselves. That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s not necessary or even useful to blame yourself for anything. What I’m talking about here is ownership over your results, not blame. 

When you get really clear on what’s happening you can be like, Oh - maybe it’s not a great idea be thinking I’ll never stick to anything. I was thinking this…that makes sense now that I wasn’t sticking to it. Maybe I could think this instead and get a different result? Now you can move forward with no drama.

When you take 100% responsibility for your results, you can clean it up so much faster. Of course you are having mind drama about the ice cream right? You’re believing the ice cream is SO amazing. That it has so much importance. Yeah it tastes good but so what? Decide ahead of time how you want to incorporate it into your life so that you can still be in the body you want. There are no rules on that - you get to determine what that looks like. You might actually want to be a bit more generous to yourself than you’re being right now. Especially if you’re not following through. So like if you’re eating ice cream every night, plan for every other night. And you might be like - but I won’t lose weight! But let me offer that trying to go cold turkey is not working either. At least give it a try and see what happens. 

Don’t pretend you don’t know and it’s a big mystery why you’re overeating and not creating a plan and sticking to it. It’s always what you’re thinking about yourself, your body and or your plan. Always. And it’s totally okay. You get to decide if it’s serving you or not. You are always in control of this. It just requires you to do some self reflection. 

3 Main Reasons you aren’t doing them already:

1. You have a human brain (motivational triad)
2. You haven’t asked your past self what the obstacles are (she knows you and what’s coming for you)
3. You haven’t asked your future self what the strategies are (she knows how you did it)

Step 3) Make a list of all of the obstacles that are currently preventing you from taking the action you want to take

Step 4) Go through every obstacle and come up with a strategy (Homework)

To follow through with your strategies, you will require: Emotional Sophistication

What is Emotional Sophistication?

1. Ability to identify and be present for Painful Emotions - what emotions/sensations are you currently unwilling to feel and are turning to food instead? 

A. Sadness, boredom, overdesire, anxiety, guilt, dissatisfaction, inadequacy, tired, hungry, stressed, discomfort

• If you are willing to feel these emotions you will get what you want bc learning how to process/feel these helps us take action to create results

2. Ability to identify and step out of Indulgent Emotions - We stay here to avoid Painful Emotions - stop us from taking action and keep us stuck

1. Confusion, Doubt, Worry, Overwhelm, Self Pity, Deprivation

• Caused by Thought Errors (We should be able to eat what she eats, we’re deprived bc we’re not eating icecream)

3. Ability to Generate Pleasing Emotion - Feelings that help us take the action we want to be taking

1. Determination, motivation, focus, power, desire, confident, creative, resourceful, proud

• What do you need to think to generate that feeling? 

Get SO clear about the reasons you’re not taking action that it feels good. 

• “Oh - that wasn’t a great idea - I was thinking this…that makes sense. 
• Maybe I could think this instead and get a different result? 
• Now you can move forward with no drama.

When you take responsibility for your results, you can clean it up so much faster. 

Homework:

Do a thought download

Pull out 1 or more thoughts

Identify the emotion that thought is generating

Classify it as Painful, Indulgent or Pleasing

Take action with new awareness

When you’re not doing it, it may be because you currently think losing weight is miserable 

Why?

• Everyone tells you that it sucks
• You’re impatient about your result
• You choose a restrictive plan that doesn’t work for your body
• Create deprivation with your thinking (I can’t vs I don’t want)

Weight loss is fun 

Just as an experiment, how can this also be true?

It feels good to know you’re working toward a goal

It feels good to have your clothes become looser

It feels good to eat healthy

It’s fun to see the number go down

It’s fun to look forward to events without dreading how you’ll look

It’s fun to learn how to be kinder to yourself

It’s fun to feel proud