We are living in pretty anxious times. It’s easy to feel down, how do you feel good about yourself when you don’t have as much freedom, things are harder – we are all working harder. How do we not feel like victims as we wait for a vaccine, sit tight until things to turn around, or wait patiently to find Love.
Today’s guest is Dr. Barry Taylor, he’s going to share how to get creative, while being interested and interesting at the same time!
People are beyond tired of this pandemic, It’s hard to think positively when there is so much loss around us. Dr. Barry is the “Father of Detox” and here to rescue us. In this week’s episode we will learn to have compassion for ourselves and how to practice forgiveness.
Dr. Barry Taylor knows how to teach you how to cope. How to heal unwanted emotional patters such as depression, stress and anxiety. Dr. Taylor is also the author of “Love Your Body”. Dr. Barry is a Naturepathic Physician who’s integrated approach makes him a rarity in the medical field. Over 15 thousand people have gone through Dr. Barry’s Love Your Body program!. He was chief consultant on complementary medicine for NBC News in New England for 14 years and an international speaker.
We are living in pretty anxious times. It’s easy to feel down, how do you feel good about yourself when you don’t have as much freedom, things are harder – we are all working harder. How do we not feel like victims as we wait for a vaccine, sit tight until things to turn around, or wait patiently to find Love.
Today’s guest is Dr. Barry Taylor, he’s going to share how to get creative, while being interested and interesting at the same time!
People are beyond tired of this pandemic, It’s hard to think positively when there is so much loss around us. Dr. Barry is the “Father of Detox” and here to rescue us. In this week’s episode we will learn to have compassion for ourselves and how to practice forgiveness.
Dr. Barry Taylor knows how to teach you how to cope. How to heal unwanted emotional patters such as depression, stress and anxiety. Dr. Taylor is also the author of “Love Your Body”. Dr. Barry is a Naturepathic Physician who’s integrated approach makes him a rarity in the medical field. Over 15 thousand people have gone through Dr. Barry’s Love Your Body program!. He was chief consultant on complementary medicine for NBC News in New England for 14 years and an international speaker.
I'm Carrie Brett, and this is shot at love. The first motivational podcast around online dating today's guest is Dr. Barry Taylor. And by the way, he had me at hello today. He's gonna share how to get creative while being interested and interesting at the same time. Hey guys, we are living in pretty trouble times and it's easy to feel down. How do you feel good about yourself when you don't have much freedom? Things are harder and we're all working harder. How do we not feel like victims as we wait for a vaccine, sit tight until things turn around or wait patiently to find love. Can we find love in a pandemic? Hell yeah, people are pretty tired of this pandemic and it's like enough already. And it's hard to think positively when there's so much loss around us today, we have the godfather of detox here to rescue us. In this week's episode, we're gonna learn to have compassion for ourselves and how to practice forgiveness. Dr. Barry Taylor knows how to teach you how to cope. At least that's one of us. He knows how to heal unwanted emotional patterns, such as depression, stress and anxiety. Dr. Taylor is also the author of love your body. We are all about love here. Dr. Barry is a nature pathic physician whose integrated approach makes him a rarity in the medical field, over 15,000 people. And that's a lot of people have gone through Dr. Taylor's love your body program. He was the chief consultant on complimentary medicine for NBC news in new England for 14 years and an international speaker. Welcome Dr. Barry. Thanks so much for being here.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me. Good to be with you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Dr. Barry, tell me how you got your start. It's pretty obvious that you've done a lot of work on yourself, so you can show others the way. How did you, or why did you become a healer?
Speaker 2:Hmm. Um, I was on my way to divinity school. My first undergraduate degree was a comparative religion. I, I thought doing yoga and meditation at the undergraduate level would be a good gig. And, um, one of my teachers, when I was an undergraduate referred me to a man who was an MD ND he was a medical doctor in 1930, naturepath 1932. And I was very sick as a kid. I had lots of STR, very, very overweight, massive headaches. And I started seeing this doctor every Monday. The short version is, uh, he became a real father figure. He, he was an enormous presence. People saw him from all over the world and, and I saw him weekly for several years and that kind of just drifted me not to go divinity school, which I had applied to and was going to, and went to naturepath school, went to, uh, several years in Wichita, Kansas, and then, um, medical school in Portland, Oregon, where it rains a lot. So you're happy if you're a duck.
Speaker 1:<laugh> so,
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's, that's that's that's my beginning. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Do you think the adversity that you had as being a sick child, or I know you've said that you were a heavy child. Mm don't you think that adversity made you the compassionate person that you are today?
Speaker 2:Oh, sweet. Thanks. You know, it's only been the last 10, 15 years that I've really raised the banner of me learning about empathy as an important quality and how different compassion is from sympathy and how different empathy is to really get over in somebody else's reality. But I did a workshop when I was, um, 30. That was a few years ago, actually<laugh> And I was standing in front of a mirror about 110 people. And there were eight or nine, 10 of us that went up on stage in, um, our bathing suits. And it was a silent process for several three, four hours. Um, and it was just a be with, you were being with your body and these trainers were coming up and like whispering things in your ear. As other people were kind of quote, not supposed to be staring at you, but looking at you. And I had this thought, Carrie, that, um, I was a fat person in a thin body and I had thinned out a lot in my late teenage years and twenties. Um, so the question you're asking is, uh, did my childhood of being overweight and having 103 hundred four temperature, lots with strep throats, taking massive antibiotics, going home from school, being in a lot of pain with headaches. Um, it, it definitely kind of opened me up, um, as it does from time to time. Now, when something happens to me and I'm asking myself the question, what am I supposed to be learning here different than what I'm supposed to be taking? You know, am I supposed to take more vitamins or herbs or acupuncture or better chiropractic or something? Um, I'm always asking myself the question, what am I supposed to be learning? So as somebody who, um, had some pretty incredible challenges, never in a wheelchair, um, but carried my body on my back then I realized that there's a lot, take the example you brought up that losing weight is more than what the scale says it has to do with, um, body image is not just two words it has to do with shame. So there are a lot of people who have a D D different topic who, as they've gone to school, it was not only difficult for them to learn and remember, but they're comparing themselves to other kids. And so not like everyone who has a D D, but there are a lot of people using that as an example, who it's more than what I can do for their brain and how I can give them certain amino acids to help their brain trigger fire differently. It's also this whole world of shame, how they think of themselves, right? So there's a lot of how I thought of myself as not capable of not confident
Speaker 1:Growing up with, as a child with a D D um,
Speaker 2:I hear home something.
Speaker 1:No, it's,<laugh> my, my mentor, Jeff Lubin used to say, he's a lot older than me, a little bit older than me, Jeff, if you're listening. But he used to say, if you had add as a child, you were just labeled stupid. Mm. And yeah, it's, A's a difficult thing when you have those limitations. But my a D is actually my greatest gift because I can have laser focus yes. About the things that I'm passionate about. Yeah. So I think it's important to talk about the limitations, but how you can actually reframe them as strengths.
Speaker 2:Yes. So when I'm I, this, and I call this context different than content. So whether it's in my love, your body program, or when I see people one on one, or when I'm doing workshops, there's what better to eat or eat less of, or more of what supplements or herbs to take, or should you, or shouldn't meditate or should you, or shouldn't you faster cleans, uh, that that's content. But for me, there's the context, like, how are you relating to what the messages are? So first and foremost, most people are not good listeners. Second, if they are listening, they might be judging themselves for what they are listening to, which is different than, okay, here it is. What's the blessing in disguise here? What is it? So you've shifted your context to a D D rather than something's bad wrong with you. You finally got to see the wisdom of, ah, my brain just wired up a little differently than other
Speaker 1:People. I wasn't supposed to be like everyone else. That's right. And that's okay. So we're all in this transformation and I think it's a perfect time to talk about forgiveness. Mm. So maybe you gain those extra pounds during quarantine. Mm. Is it true that you have to make peace with yourself or love yourself before you can find love? Do you think?
Speaker 2:Mm,
Speaker 1:I found love and I wasn't.
Speaker 2:Is this the lightweight question and the heavy is coming or is that the heavy and you're gonna get lighter from a Honda. I just want to get a context for myself.<laugh>.
Speaker 1:I mean, uh, okay. I think I finally got to the place when I found my boyfriend that I knew that I deserved to love. Mm. I had done enough work. Yeah. I don't know that you ever finally say,
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:I own all of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think the words that I would respond to what you said are, have to, cuz I think you said, do you have to love yourself right before you could get a sustainable relationship?
Speaker 1:Um, am I already failing the love yourself program?
Speaker 2:I think I am<laugh> yeah. Um, I I think take out the, have to, and maybe put in.do dot might be a good idea. You know, I like that. I don't know if it's have to, um, you know, the relation. I mean, I mean, you know, being in love, falling in love, infatuation. Okay. Dare I say, here it is. Drum roll, sustaining love over time and being able to coordinate yourself with another person's strengths and weaknesses and quirkiness and the way they're perfectly and perfect and the way, um, I'm evolving, even if it were true that all of my issues are resolved. Then there seems to be something about intimacy into me, sea allowing another person to see into you in a way that the dry cleaner doesn't and the person checking out it Roach brothers or whole foods. Doesn't. Um, but there's something about, um, merging with another person, you know, where more than the words that you and I talk about, I've got your back, your needs are as important as my needs, those kinds of things, but we're talking about, um, you know, how to really navigate. And, and then I think to your point that if we were more able to be more compassionate with ourselves, if we were able to monitor and watch, I didn't say stop being judgemental of ourselves, I think we'd need to lobotomy to do that. I think the nature of the mind is to judge and evaluate, except it's clear that some of us, maybe me have luxuriated in the ability to judge the degree, to which you can observe that almost like a practice of mindfulness. We do a lot of mindfulness stuff in the love of your body program. Um, then it begs your question of the more space you have for yourself to be human. The more space you have for yourself to fail, the more space you have for yourself to be curious and learn as opposed to be perfect. Then that might position you better. When quote, here you go. There's chemistry sparks, you know, and you know, we're resuming, it's romantic and it's sexual and there's, you know, you're, you're falling in love with another being. Could you be my partner? Um, the people that I know that have lasted, um, without alcohol, without affairs, without, you know, playing golf seven days a week, two rounds a day,<laugh> right. You know, the people that I know that have worked through the challenges of staying that close, which means that from time to time you disconnect, which means from time to time, you gotta sustain. Do you know anybody have a relationship with 3, 4, 5, 7, 10 years that hasn't had some kind of breakdown? I don't necessarily mean you have to have major betrayals, but I mean, you just have disconnects. It's just, and be to be able to weather that, then I would say per your query, um, the practice of forgiveness in something different than the way we were all brought up in our Juda Christian value system, I'm not gonna forgive you cause I I'm not ready. I'm not gonna forgive you cause I'm too angry. I don't know if you deserve to be forgiven those kinds of injunctions, those kinds of background that we don't talk to ourselves about. I dunno if you've done enough penance, you know, so that forgiveness for a lot of people is conditional and what I'm offering people as a game one on one, or am I love your body program is to consider the possibility that forgiving yourself or forgiving others, um, is not conditional. You could still be pretty angry and forgive somebody.
Speaker 1:You obviously have not been raised in an Irish Catholic family.<laugh> cause we bury that stuff way, way down, way down. And we get another job and we keep working and we soldier on that's how it goes. But this is great. I think in, in today's world with couples and the struggles, it is so important to have forgiveness. And what you said to me, which I thought was unbelievable. Do you wanna live in a world of forgiveness or do you wanna live in a world of trust and to quote you forgiveness is like grace. That's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Hmm. Thanks.
Speaker 1:I don't think I got any of the crazy forgiveness, but I'm working on it. Yeah. And I'm trying. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, so well said through your amazing smile. Um, yeah, there, there are. I mean, I don't, I don't know you well, we just met moments ago. Right. Um,
Speaker 1:Which I totally would love to do a reality show of you on match.com and what it would be like to have these conversations on your first dates. Oh my God. I can imagine the weeding out so fast that let's
Speaker 2:Let's
Speaker 1:Do it. This is just let's do it Netflix. If you're listening, this is
Speaker 2:Just, yeah, we should liquid gold. We should, we should do a, a, a cyber dating space shell. So, um, I'm making up that one because you're in a successful partnership. And as I looked at you, um, you're suffering less with what you just said than a lot of people are
Speaker 1:Interesting
Speaker 2:Because there are a lot of people, whether it was because of their abortion or their miscarriage or whether it was because of their, um, not exercising their body, not meditating, not, um, um,
Speaker 1:Not knowing how to
Speaker 2:Care for those, not, not knowing how to care for themselves, giving themselves too much pleasure, physically, sexually not giving themselves and holding themselves back. There are so many ways that people who were brought up in, um, if you'll allow me not just Irish Catholic families, but it could be any kind of family where the mothers and fathers, um, strictly adhered to certain belief systems and in, in there, if you and I could be the most generous that we could be, as well as they knew given there was no like read the book, do it this way, as, as best as they could. It turned out to be quite controlling. It turned out to be quite restrictive in the best sense of the word. And, and I, I say that, you know, having practiced close to 45 years, and I know that can be strict Jewish families and Protestant families. It's not about being Irish Catholic. Right. And the idea that somebody could have gluten intolerance, let's bring it physical. Somebody could have an endometriosis or fibroids or breast cancer. Somebody could have colitis or asthma. Somebody could have where there are real important things. Because my, one of my many jokes is people are eating the corn flakes instead of the box. They should be eating the box. There's more nutrition in the box than in the cornflakes. So there is something about, you know, your body's kind like a Bentley. It's kind of like a Rolls-Royce and you know, it's, we've got a problem here cause you're running it like it's a Kia. And by the way, you haven't even read the manual for Akia. So there are physical things. But then in my world, remember you asked me I was on my way to divinity school cuz the, the, the mystical part of Judaism and Islam and, and Christianity and extraordinary St. Frenches of Assisi and, and, um, Meister Eckhard was this unbelievable German Catholic Mon. I mean, there are so many people that went beyond being religious. They were spiritually powerful voice about the human condition and about what we could learn. So as I learned to be a, um, somewhat competent experienced naturepath in cleansing and detoxing and herbs and, um, and love to learn about the physical part, uh, I I'm also have kept, uh, eye on the spiritual part that we are more than our physical bodies, even though most of us identify more with our fingers and our toes and our nose and our breasts and our hair's. That's so interesting then, you know, what does it mean to be a spiritual being well, uh, it means this and then some people don't get the question, they answer it. Like I asked them if they were religious and I didn't ask them if they were religious. I said, are you spiritual? So for me being spiritual has to do with being compassionate or thank you for the invitation to be here with you. It means that there is no, you should forgive. There's no like obligation. It's not like you're a better person. If you forgive, it does mean that other aspects of life open up for you and to close the circle, it may have something to do with why you got 20, 30% outta your drugs or homeopathics or herbs or vitamins, but now you're not pursuing and continuing the momentum to really get healthier because you actually are stuck. It may not have begun with the abortion of miscarriage. It may not begun with the betrayal of what your husband it's
Speaker 1:Holding onto the past,
Speaker 2:But it is some way you're not being present. So you're not able to access that extraordinary capacity you have to heal and rather than make it intellectual, um, by either in my book or in the programs, why don't we do some writing exercises? Why don't I do some visualizations? So we're not just rationally talking about forgiveness, but how about, eh, can you do five minutes a day for the next five
Speaker 1:Days? That sounds good. Yeah. I, I think the whole love your body and the detox for 21 days. I mean the 21 days is not eight minute abs or eight minutes be dating. It's a commitment of 21 days. Mm-hmm<affirmative>. And so when I think of a detox or 21 days, I'm like, I might love myself, but I like hate my life doing it. Like it's hard to get from here I am today to how did I get to be this evolved person? Yeah. Who I get it? Yeah. I don't know that I could do it.
Speaker 2:No, you could.
Speaker 1:I don't know, but I I'm
Speaker 2:Open one day at a time,
Speaker 1:One day at a
Speaker 2:Time. Yeah. One of my teachers, a man named Tony Robbins is got us saying he's
Speaker 1:I love my Tony.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So Tony says, you know, if you have a big enough, how, uh, excuse me, if you have a big enough why you'll find out how
Speaker 1:I love
Speaker 2:That. So, um, respect you respectfully, I'd say that detoxing for 21 days, uh, might be interesting in a whimsical kind of way.
Speaker 1:<laugh> you're bribing me.<laugh> um, and I'm sensing a sales pitch right now.<laugh>
Speaker 2:Yeah. And it's some moment what people do is they get to the first of all, it's it's one day at a time, or it's, let's not do this for 21 days and it is a 21 day commitment. I'm sorry. It is okay. But, but let's not think about what you're gonna do on day 12 or 14. Let's just think about what you're gonna do for the next three days.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 2:And, and I have to say, um, you could frame it as what you're gonna be giving up. And if you did that, you're in trouble. I would only have to, um, give you a virtual hug until we can give each other real hugs and say, um, that just makes you a normal person. Cause that that would be a normal way to frame it. Okay. Um, rather than me selling you on the program, another way to frame it would be is so in my fantasy, if Dr. Barry gave me like an unlimited amount of magic wands, what is it? I think I might accomplish more than not eating sugar for 21 days. If you did that, not everybody has to give up sugar for 21 days, but whatever it is that you felt you might go through deprivation, your mind is I can't do that. Well. Um, just for the moment, if you could, what would you accomplish besides saying, well, I did it and then people don't realize, wow, I think I would have more peace. I think I'd experience more freedom. I don't know about the forgiveness and the trust piece. He just tells me it's in the program. So I don't know about that. Cuz most people are not in touch with if they really deepen their relationship with forgiveness, some magic might happen. But if you could keep your agreement about some things that coffee, sugar for somebody else, alcohol, right? Um, what do you think you'd get? And then somebody might say, well, I read something and I think my hip would feel better. I'd be more flexible. Or somebody might say, I might have less headaches or somebody might say, well, I think my menstrual cycle would come and go easy. That might say something,
Speaker 1:Something would come out of it.
Speaker 2:Something would come out of it. And I would say either, I gotta tell you, you know, I've had 15,000 people do love your body. And several thousand of other people haven't done love your body. I've never heard of that.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm
Speaker 2:<affirmative> or I could say, wow, you know, I've been really blessed and privileged to guide a lot of people through this process of resting, cleansing, detoxing, their body while they're forgiving, while they're accessing. And you know, there are a lot of people who got what you say that you might get,
Speaker 1:I've done it before. I have to say I did it because out of desperation and I, I, I had to be on TV because I had a book that was being published. Okay. And I got into a position where, oh my God, how did, how did I, how did this all come so fast? And now I have to get camera ready. Mm-hmm<affirmative>. And I did do it. And I did a cleanse through a friend, taught me how to detox. Mm. And then I'm not gonna lie in the beginning. It was like, I was under the bed screaming one, will the lambs stopped crying? I mean, it was just not fun. It was awful. But by the time I got to the other side mm-hmm<affirmative> I remember I was at the, uh, the book party, the launch, and someone said, have a sip of wine and have a piece of steak. I thought I got a headache so fast. I thought I was gonna die because when you get so pure and so clean. Yeah.
Speaker 2:How am I gonna get off this?
Speaker 1:It's interesting. How,
Speaker 2:When and how am I gonna have meat and alcohol again?
Speaker 1:How unhealthy you actually can become.
Speaker 2:Yeah. How long ago was that?
Speaker 1:<laugh> 2011. So I haven't done 10 years a cleanse in a long time, but I think this is a make or break time for people. And this is an interesting time to reset. Yes. And to try something new. And if you wanna go out and date, you definitely wanna feel your best self.
Speaker 2:This is, this is an option. We had a problem. Yeah. We had a program last month. We're in the middle of, we have one more week for a program that's happening this month and the idea of, um, pandemic COVID sheltering in place. How many people are sheltering in grace? Um, not many. Yeah. Okay. Tom is<laugh> but, but, but
Speaker 1:Then one hello, one person that's
Speaker 2:Right. Yeah. Well, I think the point is when we feel so restricted, you know, we feel like even if it makes sense to us logically, you know, there's the emotional sense of, I don't feel as free in a sea where, uh, I'm labeling the sea as one of uncertainty, not just who do you believe politically, which hello is pretty.
Speaker 1:This is why I wanna follow you. I just wanna be in the booth next to you in the restaurant on these dates.<laugh> so, so don't hold back with what you think.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So there is this aspect of, um, dating where you go for a walk and you could be 4, 5, 6 feet apart. Uh, you, you could, you know, go for a hike. Um, you could, um, engage with another person doing things that you know are really good for you. That's different than just, I'm not saying we shouldn't go out to dinner as quickly as we might. I'm not saying I can't wait to go to another concert or play and be able to go to the MFA, cuz I love going to the MFA by myself or with a partner.
Speaker 1:I'll go with you. I love the MFA too. Oh good.
Speaker 2:Oh boy. I bet going with you would be great. Especially photography, um, um, exhibits. Um, there is something about this being a moment of a time out. Will we question, I don't know, this is a, the answer, will we, um, 5, 10, 15, 20 years from now, look back at this moment and actually call it a great awakening moment. Especially given what's morphed into the, you know, social justice piece and the police piece and the people not being treated well and the disparity, um, and how that's appropriately overshadowed. Um, but it's clear the mask wearing and the normal dating and the normal meeting is going to be in the face of how are we gonna take care of ourselves when I can't go to the gym? I've you don't know me, but I'm a spin junkie. All the gyms are closed. I mean, I'm lucky I have an elliptical. I I'm lucky I have weights at my home. So this whole aspect of how are you going to meet the challenge of not just watching way more news than you should be watching, given how uninspired it is. Um, I do have some really great episodic TV series to share with you
Speaker 1:<laugh>
Speaker 2:As somebody who's hardly ever watched lots of episodic TV
Speaker 1:<laugh>,
Speaker 2:But you know, how, how is somebody, you know, whether they're 25 or 45, how are they gonna, um, feel lighthearted? How are they gonna feel like this? This is a moment that I can take care of myself differently. Now I can't use time as an excuse to not learn Italian. You know, now I, I could go on internet and I go to, um, different parks and safari around the world. There are, I could go to the Louv on the internet.
Speaker 1:It's amazing.
Speaker 2:It's a very interesting time. We will see in a year, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, how we all reframe this moment? What did we, what did we let go of? And what did we begin?
Speaker 1:This is an interesting thing. This, this is one of the best things that you said to me. Can you date yourself, love yourself or care for yourself? Like someone that you would want to date or someone that you're in a relationship yeah. Would care for you. Yeah. So<affirmative> so can you take care of yours basically? Can you take care of yourself?
Speaker 2:I'm working, I'm working on it. I mean, I, I, honestly, I grew up in a family where, um, one of my parents luxuriated in being psychically amazingly, accurately judgemental, scary, like, so I learned that skill as wonderful and as great and as phenomenal as my mother was when she was alive, um, she could walk into a room and within the first three, four seconds, just tell you what wasn't working. Right. You know, it's not,
Speaker 1:Not helpful.
Speaker 2:You know? I mean, it's just an amazing skill to be able to look and see, what's not working. Just take
Speaker 1:You down to the ground in five seconds in
Speaker 2:The last, you know, as opposed to, you know, I've worked with teachers in the last decades to, to, um, rather than make that part of myself that I learned from her, a bad part of myself. Um, how could I actually lay down some new brain cells to start more than just the phrase do you see, is life half empty or left full a glass half full or half empty, but how unnatural it was for me to really look for workability. Uh, one of my teachers who I love a lot, a woman named Lynn twist, uh, I quote her in my book and her quote is what you appreciate appreciates.
Speaker 1:That's
Speaker 2:True. So simple. And I, so when you're asking that question, am I loving myself the way I would love another person? Um, uh, I'm working on it. I don't, I don't know. I won't say, I don't know if it'll ever be perfect, right? Cause it's not about perfection. I, I I'm, I'm a process and I'm suffering with the pattern less to not at all in a way that it really did undermine me. I'm really, you know, close to the mother of my children, spoke to her the day before yesterday. Um, you know, she's a great, great person. We have a kind of California like reaction relationship, post divorce. That's, that's cool. You know, and you know, we really worked at it and she's a great, great woman. Uh, but I can see at my level of evolution, my level of what I knew at the time when, you know, my own immaturity or my own fear of intimacy, that I don't think the phrase attitude of gratitude was going on, then
Speaker 1:<laugh> no that wasn't given to an add kid either.
Speaker 2:You know? So I was probably relating to her more like my mother would relate to her, you know, interesting. You know, and like, you know, no woman wants assuming I was bright, big assumption, assuming that what I said was accurate, big assumption who, who the hell, you know, wants more feedback of what, you know, what is a correction, even if it'd be a helpful correction. There was the psychic part of my mother, a lot of the things that she saw, would've been really great, except there's a certain point where that kind of criticism becomes diminishing, right? So that led me into forgiveness that led me into, if we should do a show on cyber dating, the, the men and women at I'm meeting women who, um, you used the word, cuz you were good enough to remember that we spoke about it last night. Um, one of the toughest lessons for females and men is for females to trust men.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:Now I think it's more than just it's because you or father was an alcoholic and it's because your, your husband betrayed you and you know, he, he was, he loved you. And then 3, 4, 5, or worse, 15, 20 years later, he had an affair. It also has to do with the whole air we breathe and how patriarchal culture is now. We're not talking about generations. Now we're talking about thousands of years as we're moving from an, uh, I just added some chapters to my book. We're moving from an attitude of competition with human beings to more of a feminine quality of, we need cooperation. You know, that's why I should get rid of all those white guys and all those men leading our country. And we should get some women in there cuz it's much more natural for women to know how to cooperate for women who have sisters and sisterhood and you know, and you know how women are with women, right? But when women come to men, either because of their own particular family lessons or the whole where we've been for decades or generations is very difficult for a woman to really without giving up her power. This is not a woman being passive, but without a woman, uh, um, I don't wanna say this is gonna get us into 10 other shows.
Speaker 1:Well, I think it's about trusting yourself. Forget trusting the guy. You need to trust yourself that you're already okay. And you don't need that guy. You can add value to your life, but you're okay. As on your own.
Speaker 2:Um, may I sure<laugh> uh, a hundred percent agreed if what you just said in the way I heard what you just said, okay. Is from your heart. Interesting. Because if it's from your head,
Speaker 1:You're in
Speaker 2:Trouble, then what I read in, in women's, um, profiles,
Speaker 1:Right?
Speaker 2:This is for the next show is they want part, they want men to know how independent they are. They
Speaker 1:Want, and that's off putting to men.
Speaker 2:They want men to know how self-sufficient they are that they don't need us because they've needed to learn. Given what happened with their husband, one or husband,
Speaker 1:Two to take care
Speaker 2:Of themselves. They've needed to learn how to take care of themselves. So I think on the surface, what you said a hundred percent agreed, but then when it comes from not being in their profession or not being with their children, now they're being, we're talking about not being a best friend. We're talking about being a lover and coordinating that kind of male, female energy. Yeah. How does a woman hold onto her power? How does she hold onto her loving herself and knowing I'm okay. You don't complete me, but merge
Speaker 1:Where I kind of need you too, you know? Yeah. Cause I,
Speaker 2:I, where I trust myself, but I'm willing to trust you. And that's a, that's a,
Speaker 1:That's a part too.
Speaker 2:That's a dance.
Speaker 1:We're gonna have to continue this conversation around health and emotional wellbeing and compassion and trust and forgiveness. But today I think the takeaway has to be, get the book. Let's start with the book. There's a lot to take in with you. You're the most fabulous man. And like I said, you should be blowing up the internet on match and such a wonderful guy to date, but I appreciate your time. Where can people find out about you? Tell me how they can find you think about the detox. Think about the book. Yeah. Tell me,
Speaker 2:So, uh, my website is my name www.doctor D no space, no period. And my name Barry Taylor. So it's Dr. Barry taylor.com. Um, and the book books available. There are videos on the love of your body program that are free there's um, radio shows, TV shows on forgiveness on all sorts of topics. You can read part of my book on my website. Excellent. If somebody wanted to ask me a question, I'm Dr. Barry at Dr. Barry taylor.com. They can call you. You can call me
Speaker 1:That's. That's awesome. Well, please come back. I'm so grateful that you were here today.
Speaker 2:Great to meet you. It's one,
Speaker 1:You've exceeded all expectations and I know we just met, but yeah, maybe I knew that you had me at hello.
Speaker 2:May it be the beginning of a great friendship. Thank you so much. Thank
Speaker 3:You.
Speaker 1:Now this week's Tinder tips in an honor of today's guest, I took a few of his teachings and put my own spin on it to bring you some takeaways from this week's episode. Number one, are you trusting your body yourself? Are you in the circle of trust up in the trust tree or are you relying on your lack? Mind? Negative thinking. We are all conditioned to negative self talk. It's okay to have these thoughts, but you can't date them and you can't take them out on the town. So lose those negative thoughts because they aren't helping you love yourself. Number two, one of my favorite gurus, Wayne Dyer used to say ego stood for edging. God. Up ego is the opposite of love. Dr. Barry says, if you're sick and you're not taking care of yourself, then you're ill. I L L stands for, I lack love. Think about it. Number three. Can you care for yourself? Like you would want someone that you're dating care for you. It starts from the top down. If you're being mistreated, ask yourself, what does love look like? I hope you found this week. Stiff, helpful. This is what shot at love is here for, to help love.