Finding Love: Emily In Paris Style With Swiping For Prince Charming Author Sabrina Marzaro

Today's guest is Sabrina Marzaro, she's the author of the new book, the Modern-Day Fairy Tale "Swiping for Prince Charming." Her life story is parallel to the popular Netflix series Emily in Paris, and with her persistence, she even had a debut on the series. This week's episode, we discuss stepping away from perfectionism and how to build emotional resilience. In her search for love, Sabrina learned a lot about herself, and today she shares all of it with us.

Sabrina Marzaro is a marketing and communications expert and professor at FIT. Sabrina splits her time between Paris and NYC. She is also the founder of Graphite & Ink, a branding, copywriting, and translation company based in Paris. She's an established creative consultant and copywriter specializing in luxury, fashion, and cosmetics, and has collaborated with Guerlain, Clarins, and L'Oréal, and her work is published internationally. Her first book, "Swiping for Prince Charming," is an excellent guide for emotional support while dating. 

Sabrina Marzaro and Kerry Brett cover a lot of ground. Topics include:
Challenges women have while dating.
Men's reaction to the book "Swiping for Prince Charming". Some men she dated loved it, were flattered, or proudly displayed on their coffee tables, and some had an issue or were not thrilled.
The importance of being yourself, and shinning brightly.
Pursue your dreams, and the right man will love you for that.
Don't hold onto too tightly when dating.
The valuable lessons we learn about ourselves while dating
The cultural differences dating in Paris and NYC.
The importance of building up emotional resilience.
Every heartbreak dating becomes easier.
Survival modes, lockdown partners, people using dating apps to escape loneliness.
How to spot someone who's serious and who's not.
We attract  what we put out.
Surround yourself with girlfriends and have a support system in place.

You can purchase the Modern-Day Fairy Tale "Swiping for Prince Charming" on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Target. Follow Sabrina on social media at @sabrina.marzaro and @swipingforprincecharming.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

I'm Carrie Brett, and this is shot at luck. Today's guest is Sabrina Mazzara and she's the author of the new book. The modern day fairytale swiping for Prince charming. Her life story is parallel to the popular Netflix series, Emily in Paris. And with her persistence Sabrina even made a debut on the series. This week's episode, we'll discuss stepping away from perfectionism and how to build emotional resilience in her search for love. Sabrina learned an awful lot about herself, and today she's going to share all of it with us. You won't want to miss it. So stay tuned.

Speaker 2: 0:43

[inaudible]

Speaker 1: 0:43

Sabrina. Arturo is a marketing and communications expert and professor at fit. Sabrina splits her time between Paris and NYC. She's also the founder of graphite and ink, a branding copywriting and translations company based in Paris. She's an established creative consultant and a copywriter specializing in luxury, fashion and cosmetics, and has collaborated with gorilla on Clarence and L'Oreal. And her work is published internationally. Her first book swiping for Prince charming is available at Barnes and Nobles, Amazon, and target, and without further ado, welcome to the podcast, Sabrina Vallejo, Mademoiselle.

Speaker 3: 1:25

Hi Gary. Thanks so much for having me.

Speaker 1: 1:28

I'm so grateful that you came on the show today. Let's start with your book. The dedication is to all the men that ever made me stumble and the women who helped me get back up again. Thank you for helping me find my strength. What was your driving force for creating this book and what do you want people to gain from reading this self-help fairytale?

Speaker 3: 1:49

So when I crafted this book, um, essentially the story itself came out in a very serendipitous manner. Um, and I can tell you that story, but I will first say that once it came out, my, I immediately knew that I needed to transform into an illustrated tale because I knew that so many women would be able to connect with all the challenges that we face along the journey of dating and finding our soulmate. And I wanted to use it as essentially this pick me up to help women and, and to make them feel lifted and to find the pleasure in the process and to learn to value and cherish themselves through it as well.

Speaker 1: 2:28

Right. It's amazing. So your book, you wanted, you wanted this to be like a tool, so they could go to this book when finding Mr. Right. Seemed impossible. Can you talk about the outreach the book has had and how you're helping people worldwide?

Speaker 3: 2:45

Um, well thank you. First of all,

Speaker 1: 2:49

We're in this journey together.

Speaker 3: 2:51

Yeah, no, I, um, it's been really fulfilling. I have to say more and it's done more than I would have even because, you know, as, as you're aware, having read it, it's this illustrated tale, it's very sex in the city. It's very fun and uplifting, but with this deeper message, and I feel like between the book itself and the communications around it, whether it's the, uh, events that I've done at Barnes and noble talks, I've done it. So whole house, or even the Instagram page, I've had so many different women reach out to me and, and to say how much it's impacted them and given them strength and help them overcome their breakups. And, and just felt like they had someone who understood them, even if it was someone they've never actually met in person. So that was that's really been meaningful to me. Right.

Speaker 1: 3:40

So when I started my swiping soiree and started writing in 2018, I mean, I started an Instagram page and it was basically to promote the podcast and based on my hashtags, we connected. And when I ever saw a swiping for Prince charming, I'm like, this is so cool that this person's following me and I followed you back. And then it was our mutual friend, Julie Lauren, who connected us. But I feel like even though you're in Paris and I'm in the Boston area, we were supposed to connect because we have the same mission completely. And it's so cool. So you have a dating philosophy and you don't hold on too tightly to anyone or any potential relationship dating. Isn't your primary focus. And you learn that if you're hungry for things to work, then that scares people off. Did you always have this attitude or is this something that you figured out through dating?

Speaker 3: 4:33

Well, I, that's an interesting question. I don't know that I'd phrase it exactly like that because as you you're, you're totally on the point when it, when you say that for me, that it's, I'm not like so hungry, that dating has to be my priority. In fact, it's not, um, I'm really so focused right now on developing my career, my life and being as cliche as this sounds, the best version of myself. And I feel like the right person will naturally be drawn to that because you sort of attract the energy you put out. Um, but when that, the point of like, you don't hold on too tight to anyone or anything, um, that's an interesting way of phrasing it. I feel like when I'm invested in a relationship, whether it's romantic or friendships, I know that I, I really, I give a hundred percent of myself because like, I, I'm just someone that I love very deeply. I'm I really believe in, like, I really love creating strong bonds with people. Um, but if it's not natural, if there's something that isn't meant to be, then I can accept that and move on. Because I know that, you know, I feel like every person comes into your life for a reason, but they're not necessarily meant to stay there forever.

Speaker 1: 5:48

And someone like you, who loves very deeply, like, I feel like you have to be such a sensitive soul to be able to write a book the way you did. And that's where I really resonate with it. And you had mentioned to me that we are biologically trained to show our best selves and people put so much pressure on themselves and they're afraid to show, you know, that vulnerable side like that, just what you said, like you love deeply and you put a hundred percent of there. Can you share with us what you've learned about the idea of perfection

Speaker 3: 6:20

That it's, it doesn't exist. It's an illusion,

Speaker 1: 6:23

Right?

Speaker 3: 6:25

No, but in all honesty though, especially when I first, because just to give some context, I had been in the six year relationship and when I got out of that, I stepped into dating and I entered it very nicely. And I sort of felt like everyone would be kind and honest. And I know that sounds ridiculous, but you know, I just, I didn't know how to date and I feel like I'm a completely different person now, but especially at the beginning, I just was so scared about showing this quote unquote perfect version of myself, which I feel like so many women do. And for me that meant, I mean, I don't even know how to cook, but I would like slave away my kitchen for half day to try to make the perfect meal. And I'd have like the perfect soap, the perfect sheets, the perfect flowers, everything and my hair and makeup, et cetera. And it's just after a while you realize that whether you do that or not, that's not, what's going to guarantee that the relationship works and it's exhausting and it's not sustainable. And so in time when I became more relaxed and more confident in myself and just being my natural self, I realized that that's actually what drew people that were more what I was looking for.

Speaker 1: 7:37

Right. And so I'm hearing you, and I'm, I'm really hearing you. And I think about myself, like, you know, food shopping at whole foods and bringing in the groceries in the freaking snow storm and doing all these things, twisting myself into a pretzel to keep a relationship going. And what is the best part of you is the braveness that you've shown to publish his book and you've published his book while you're dating. And I just think that's the true measurement of empowerment. And you mentioned that some guys that you've dated, don't like the book and some love it. And one guy even proudly displayed your book on his coffee table, which I think is hysterical. Can you talk about the reactions to swiping for Prince charming from some of the,

Speaker 3: 8:26

Yeah, I will say that when I first announced the title on it was on Instagram, I was terrified. I was terrified because I was like, Oh my God. I mean, I've always shown this very serious side of me, very professional side. And now I'm writing a book about dating, like everything that went wrong in the process, et cetera. Right. I swear nearly every single guy that I've ever been on a date with that follows me on Instagram wrote me, am I in your book? There you go. So I responded, well, I guess you'll have to buy it to find out. Um, but it was, yeah, I was, I was really, really terrified because I was literally putting a piece of my heart out there for everyone to dissect and I didn't know how it would be taken, but I just felt like this was my purpose. And it was to accompany other women in this journey and that I couldn't be defined by my fears. So I did that. And it's true that surprisingly, some of the men that are in it granted just like, I do have a disclaimer that says these are all fictional characters, however, they're inspired by real people.

Speaker 4: 9:30

Um,

Speaker 1: 9:32

I would be mailing this book to every guy

Speaker 4: 9:36

That's for sure.

Speaker 3: 9:38

Yeah. Like, I mean, some of them, as you mentioned, really, I mean, it was huge boost to their ego. They're really happy about, you know, being featured in some way. Some of them weren't so pleased. Um, so

Speaker 4: 9:54

Yeah, I mean, it's,

Speaker 3: 9:55

I really, I think, uh, and I hope you can agree that I tried to write it in a way that was not at all. Um, I don't know, angry vengeful in any way. It was actually just this from a woman's perspective, the challenges, and, you know, I tried to be very respectful of the people that are involved. So

Speaker 1: 10:12

That's nice. And you always leave with kindness and, and I can tell that from you, um, there was one guy that you dated that said he was gonna steal your idea and write his book from a male perspective. And he's clearly living in his own fairytale, but it just shows that you have a brilliant idea. And this is an amazing play on words. And, and I love this book. So you've written a second book. Can you tell us what the second book is about?

Speaker 3: 10:43

So, um, my second book is still in the process of finalizing and then I have to send it in for publication, but it's going to be a book of collected poems. And so it's sort of, sort of like a, I guess the same process of this discovery of self-love and this journey, however, at a much deeper level, it's much less, light-hearted, it's much more if you love to feel, if you love with all your heart and you really, you appreciate feeling things very deeply than it will resonate with you, but it's something that I chose to do, uh, particularly during confinement, because I knew that it would help me in my own personal growth and also to overcome my own fears and feel like I was doing something that, I mean, sharing my own story to help inspire others. So

Speaker 1: 11:28

That's great. So art is the imitation of life and one of the pages that really resonated with me, um, and I think it's because people often think that this person's a fantastic dresser or they're great on paper, but sometimes it's not the case. So I'm going to read from one of your pages, because I just absolutely adore this book. Now this one's in finance and always dressed to the nines. He's funny and playful and knows how to have a good time, but he suddenly stopped texting after four really great date, I guess, a true relationship, just wasn't our fate. So is this like a year

Speaker 3: 12:10

PM thing? Like granted, I will say that Europeans tend to dress very well. Uh, but the ghosting thing, that's something that every single person that I know has dealt with at some point. And I think that we're all to some extent, even guilty of it, honestly, even without intending to, right. It's just sometimes easier to let things fizzle out, then have to blatantly tell the person, like, I just don't see this going anywhere. Right. So

Speaker 1: 12:38

You spend your time in New York city and France. Now, do you think your experience like creatively dating and France helped you craft these different pages? Cause like I'm going to, I'm going to read one more page. It says first comes that tan Italian with his high powered bike, he'll take you for a spin to see the city's dazzling lights, romantic and magical. It will leave you weak in the knees until you come to realize he's kind of asleep.

Speaker 3: 13:10

Yeah. I don't, I don't think he's read it. Who is this tan Italian and where can I find them? This is so great. Um, but yeah, these, this was granted, it's a very different experience dating in Paris as it is in New York. I really feel like I appreciate, I appreciate dating and I approach it sort of like a social anthropologist. And I don't know, I just, I think it's fun exploring like through different people, you see different facets of yourself, you see what you like, what you don't like, and you get to experience such different things and learn such different things.

Speaker 1: 13:48

All right, I'm going to read one more page and then I'm going to, and then we'll talk. But it just because I just want people to buy this and I think it's just such an amazing handbook. You know, it's a great guide for support when you're dating. Cause it's, it's hard. And if you don't have that, you know, those wing girls supporting you, then you're kind of lost. So this is the last page I'll share, but next comes the handsome pilot, the truly dreamiest guy in town. But after a whirlwind adventure, he just won't settle down. So did your data pilot, have you ever dated a pilot and what was that like?

Speaker 3: 14:28

Um, that was a bit of a turbulent ride.[inaudible] just sore over to the next subject. So, um,

Speaker 1: 14:44

This is such a fun conversation about like heartbreak and building of the emotional. So let's talk about the difference between dating in Paris in New York city. And you mentioned that French men are skilled in courtship.

Speaker 3: 14:59

Yes. I stand by that statement. So

Speaker 1: 15:03

Can you talk about the cultural differences? Yeah.

Speaker 3: 15:05

So again like New York city though in particular, it's really a melting pot of cultures. You, you meet people from so many different backgrounds, whereas in Paris they're predominantly French. The people you'll be dating. Yeah. And I've always been attracted to French men. I have to say. Um, I really appreciate it because I also I'm half Italian. And so growing up with that European influence, like I have a deep appreciation for, for philosophy, for the arts, for these really meaningful conversations. And I like, I don't really, I know absolutely nothing about baseball or football or like, you know, do they like

Speaker 1: 15:46

Two girls? Like pretend they like sports over in France or no?

Speaker 3: 15:52

Um, they don't even go there. That's an interesting question. Like we don't really talk sports here so much, except for like the world cup when it comes to soccer, you know? Wow. Yeah. It's

Speaker 1: 16:03

So different than Boston. Boston is just

Speaker 3: 16:06

Like, imagine Boston with your red socks. Like what

Speaker 1: 16:10

It's and Celtics. It's just in the Bruins eat. It's just all you talk about really here. It's so cool.

Speaker 3: 16:17

Yeah. I don't even, I don't even know what sport, the Celtics play basketball, but that's,

Speaker 1: 16:27

But that's just shows the difference and the apps are different too. And I know you like Bumble and I know you like hinge, but what can you tell us about happen? I'm fascinated by this.

Speaker 3: 16:37

Yeah. So that, um, I don't even think that exists in the U S I could be wrong, but I know that in France, it's very popular, at least in Paris. And it essentially proposes people that you've actually crossed paths with. And it's a little bit creepy to some extent, because it will say on your app, like you've crossed paths with like Matt 32 times. And you're like, Oh my gosh, this is really bizarre. Like we, he can, he knows where I work, where I live result. I don't know. Um, but yeah, so I mean, the good news is that if you are looking to meet someone that is constantly in your neighborhood, you can find that more easily. But yeah, it's, it's interesting. Wow. Okay.

Speaker 1: 17:17

I dunno. I just think I would, you know how you say you're like, you're great at texting and, um, verbal ping pong. I would just have a field day with the word happen. And

Speaker 3: 17:30

So

Speaker 1: 17:31

This is all great. We're going to take a short break, but when we come back, we're going to discuss the importance of taking risks and taking control of our destiny and dating experience. This episode of shot in love is brought to you by[inaudible] the world's first botanical rum recognized the government of Trinidad and Tobago

Speaker 5: 17:50

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Speaker 1: 18:19

Back with Sabrina. Mazzara the author of swiping for Prince charming. Let's dive straight into dating. Can you talk about what Paris was like dating in Paris during the pandemic? And you had mentioned that people were acting out in various ways that some people were in survival mode or looking for that lockdown partner. I've done this myself. I know that people have used dating apps to escape loneliness, but you don't play around and you know what you're looking for and you're great at spotting. Who's serious. And who's not. Can you talk about your percentage of swiping, right?

Speaker 3: 18:59

Like, yeah. Um, I'm, I'm very, um, I'm a little tough. Let's just say, so I, I, as I mentioned to you, when I am on Bumble, I did the math and I literally swipe right on one to 2% of guys. I know that's not the norm, you know, just figure, go ahead. But no,

Speaker 1: 19:18

No, you're right though. It's like, if you're walking down the street in New York city, are you going to date everyone on the, on that street? No.

Speaker 3: 19:26

Yeah. So I just like, I can, I mean, I I've been on the apps and like swiped on so many people at this point that I have a better sense of if someone that I'm going to have a good conversation with or not. And if it's going to be interesting or not, but if to go back to your first question about dating during the pandemic, as you said, yes. Especially one second lockdown was announced. It was really interesting seeing people's reactions like everyday people, not necessarily just on the app because everyone just sort of shifted into survival mode. And I mean, I saw some women around me, like one girl that I'm not close to by any means, but she was literally like, okay, if the lockdown begins tomorrow, then I have to call it a manicurist to come over at the, the maid. And then I have to get my lover to come tomorrow night. And I was like, wow, like I need to paper. I know. I was like, wow, okay. At least she has her ducks in a row. I was like, where's my lover. You know, you got some really extreme, I had someone, some guy that I'd been on one date with, we'd literally just done the elbow. Hello with texting me, like Sabrina pack your bags tomorrow. We're going to the countryside. I'm taking you to my hotel and shrimp on you. And I'm like, dude, like I just met you, bro. I'm not going with you for a month. I don't know.

Speaker 1: 20:48

I would be like, I am, I am only in Paris. Like let's go to the countries that I would do it for your third book from material.

Speaker 3: 20:58

Exactly. Just for research.

Speaker 1: 21:01

Right? So let's talk about Emily and Paris for those listening. Emily in Paris is a American television series created by Darren star who created sex in the city. Emily is an American who moves to Paris to provide an American perspective to a French marketing firm. And it showcases her struggles in love. So this is the story of your life. You even have a YouTube video that has over 1.4 million views of telling the story, how you got on the show. So could you tell us what this experience was like?

Speaker 3: 21:35

Um, well, I have to say it was on YouTube 1,400.

Speaker 1: 21:41

I'm not very good at math.

Speaker 3: 21:42

The one that's over 4,000 views, so it's okay. Okay.

Speaker 1: 21:45

We're going to just pretend we're going to just we'll it. That gets to that many views,

Speaker 3: 21:50

Please. I invite everyone to share it with their friends if they'd like

Speaker 1: 21:56

I watched it and I loved it. I thought it was great.

Speaker 3: 21:59

Thank you. But yeah. So I'm sorry. You're gonna have to repeat the question.

Speaker 1: 22:02

I was just going to say, can you tell us, uh, I just love this story and you know, I watched the video and I love how you showed up on the set and you know, you had your book and you had hundreds and hundreds of pages of your dating misadventures and you were convinced that Darren star needed you.

Speaker 3: 22:24

Yeah. So if you want me to just flirt to give the brief overview of what happened, um, for those that haven't seen the video. So a month after I wrote my book, that was a year and a half ago, I'd written the text. I was working on the illustrations and it was announced that Darren star creator of sex and the city was making this TV show that paralleled my life, as you mentioned. Right? And yes. So I felt like this is, this is my destiny. This is the plan it's aligning telling me I need to get involved. So tried to collaborate with them, reaching out in any way possible. No one got back to me. So I literally did find a way to show up on set to literally hunt them down, to get on there and try to convince them to, um, to work with me. And then, you know, long story short, I was able to get cast onto the TV show. So I'll save, I guess, all the other details for anyone that wants to go watch the video, but it was really my sheer determination of convincing the technician on set to, uh, then like finding a way the link to get, to, to apply applying twice, getting in there and even like on the show, because it wasn't guaranteed that I even get to film necessarily finding the way to, to make sure that that had happened. So yeah, it was, it was this very crazy adventure, but I just felt like I needed to find a way to be involved. So just, I knew that like that I had to find a way to, to work with them. So right now my, my goal is really to be able to write for season two, which was just confirmed that they would be filming it. So I'm still, you know, fingers crossed. I'm doing absolutely everything possible, but we will see if what fate has in store.

Speaker 1: 24:04

I love this. Um, I, and I say this about millennials, like the determination. It's just really inspiring to me as a creative person. And you're, you have the best story of determination and manifestation. And I, I think the stars did line up for you. And, and when I joined Tinder, it was like one step. I didn't know the light at the end of the tunnel, but I did believe that if I took that one step to help myself that one swipe that someone would appear. And I think it's so amazing how you were running to the set and your book arrived.

Speaker 3: 24:45

Yeah, literally on my way there, it was, it was pretty nuts. And again, it was just, I really felt like everything was Liz leading me to this point and, you know, showing up there and, and again, convincing the technician to tell me where they'd be filming the next day and being able to go back there and just like really insisting as, as politely as I could. And then being told by the, by one of the tech or one of the crew members, like, ma'am, I really need to ask you to leave the producer finds the inappropriate that you showed up and then being like, okay, I did it all it all that I could. And then finding a way to get cast on the show. It was just like, I was literally going to knock at every single door to find every single way to get onto this thing and get involved. And, you know, that's, at least it got me there. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:34

That's what it takes. So now I'm the person at the side, I'm the photographer. So I would have been like, who is this person? But I would have respected your tenacity and your will and your drive. And I see myself in you. Definitely.

Speaker 3: 25:53

I appreciate that. And I will say also though, it's like, it's kind of important to, to point out though that, um, in France it's, that's much less something that you see, uh, happening. You know, they, they're much more about respecting rules, uh, in certain hierarchy, wait your turn in line, et cetera, even for advancements in your career. And so it was very American of me to just show up on set and to push like that. But I knew that like the American team that was also there, because it was the local crew plus the, the, the big guys from, from the U S I knew that they would at least respect or appreciate like someone with that, with that, that passion and tenacity. Um, and I felt like, honestly now having seen the series that it sort of is reflected even in their main character. And so that's why I just feel, you know, hopefully it'll resonate with them and we'll see what happens.

Speaker 1: 26:46

Right. And that's Emily, Emily's like, I'm on in New York city, I'm leaving the boyfriend. I want something bigger and better. Yeah. And that's why it's a hit show.

Speaker 3: 26:58

Yeah. I think that like we need, I mean, especially right now in the pandemic, we needed something that was light and frivolous, but also it's like this idea of today as young women that are, that are willing to go fight and pursue their dreams. And, and to not let you know, even a potential, a relationship stand in their way, the fact that she was willing to leave her boyfriend and go off and do this for herself. I think that's something that a lot of us, as women have had to face at some point in our lives at this, you know?

Speaker 1: 27:29

Right. And not everyone has hundreds and hundreds of pages of dating Ms. Avengers. And you have this book swiping for Prince charming and good for you to show us not to take no for an answer. And you have what it takes some business. And I believe you need to use that same energy and put it into love and you attract what you put out. So do you ever stop and think like, it's crazy, you actually made it on the show.

Speaker 3: 27:54

Yeah. It was more, it was like super surreal being onset. I was big Gideon happiest. Like I literally everyone was like, Oh my God, this is exhausting. We've been here for 13 hours. And I'm the one that's like the big goofy smile on my face. Like, who cares? It's fun. Right. Um, but you know, I'm also part of my, I guess it's like a flaw and also, uh, a benefit in a way, but I, I'm constantly trying to push myself further. Anytime I reach a certain level. I'm like, okay, I accomplished this, but what's next. Right. So it's important, I think to pause and, and sort of appreciate what you have accomplished in life and it's for you, I'm sure it's the same way, but then you're always thinking about like, what's next, you know? Right.

Speaker 1: 28:39

So in my business, it's how we always say, you're only as good as your last cover. So, you know, you can have a cover that goes viral. And I may photograph a celebrity that I stayed, you know, 16 hours on a set actually happened. And finally did that shot after waiting 16 hours. But I never cared. Like I just was just like you, like so grateful to be on the set. Like I just felt like I'm in the game. You know, I have this opportunity and when my time comes, boom, I'm going to show up and I'm going to nail it. And I love that about you. So we talked about outshining someone or being more successful than someone else that we're dating and how that raises people's insecurities. So I don't think you should be dating someone who makes you feel bad for chasing your dreams and often, right. And often people think that there's something wrong with them for being successful or for when things don't work out. And I think it's important to know yourself worth. Is this something that you have to work on or did you gain from your dating experience?

Speaker 3: 29:47

I mean, I, as silly as it sounds never had imagined that would be a problem at first. I just, you know, I feel like we mentor relationship. You would hope that each person would try to encourage and support the other. Um, and I did have a point where someone I was dating for whatever reason, due to his insecurities felt very uncomfortable at whatever success I was having. And I wasn't going to dim my light for him. I, in in fact, instead I was trying to only support him in his own work as well, but that's clearly not the right person for me. And so thankfully it, you know, it ended right.

Speaker 1: 30:28

It ended, I like how you say that we can write our own fairytales. And when I asked you what your favorite page was in the book, you said it was the image of the cafe with the girl and her girlfriends. And we talked about having girlfriends who are strong and successful, but it's astounding. What women who have it all are willing to accept. Are there any valuable lessons that you learned from any of your girlfriends that helped you navigate dating?

Speaker 3: 30:54

I mean, several, I could have never done it without them, honestly, but, um, but there've been a lot of, sort of like seeds of, of wisdom. I guess. I remember one of, one of the girls featured in that page, her name is Jessica. She told me once marriage is not the end goal. Wow. And she was saying this with regards to someone else, not, not me, but I thought that was so powerful because it's true that so many women are searching for the person that they're going to marry and then live happily ever after, but that's not the be all end all. In fact that's really where the real work begins. And so it's important to keep that in mind, it's like, it's not a wedding or you know that that's going to suddenly fix your life and make you happy. So that's one of the main that, that's the big thing that I remember that she shared with me. Right.

Speaker 1: 31:45

And the key is being happy. And like, I love Goldie Hahn. You know, she, she doesn't have to be married to Kurt Russell. Like they had a life of being in love. And that's the key it's like, who cares if you are married or not, that's the way I feel. Um, and you challenge this notion that a man in the end will come in and save us. And the brainwashing is so dangerous. And why as women do we need saving in the first place. And I love that you challenge this. It's so great.

Speaker 3: 32:21

Thank you. I think that is really important to remember that like, no one you can't hope or think that someone is especially a man is going to come in and just save you because at the end of the day, you have to be able to, to be there for yourself. Cause that's the one relationship you're going to have your entire life. Right. And so, um, yeah, it is important to be able to cultivate that strength and inner peace too, to know that no matter what happens, you will be able to, to get through this and you will come out of it stronger and wiser. Right.

Speaker 1: 32:51

And if you have yourself, you have all that you need in the first place. You know, it's like, that's why your book is so valuable. And I think it's important to have these open conversations about building up our resilience. And I love how you say that every heartbreak, it becomes easier. Can you tell me why you think that's the case?

Speaker 3: 33:13

Well, I just think that once you've realized, especially if you've been so deeply in love and you felt like you were shattered to absolute pieces after, and you were able to pick yourself up again, next time around, you're like, you know, if I was able to get through that, then I can get through this one. And so each time you sort of become your, your bounce back rate becomes much faster, you know? And you realize you learn along the way, the different things that help you get back that much faster. And I mean, for me personally, it involves like a lot of running, especially outdoors by the water. That, that helps me refine my, actually it reminds me of my strength and it's just, but like, that's my personal journey in relationship to running and that, and being surrounded by people that you love and trust like your girlfriends, your family, just things that are good for you that help you, that remind you of how strong you are, how loved you are, how valuable you are in your own eyes.

Speaker 1: 34:11

Right? And I'm so excited and so proud of you that you talk about running, but you're not that hamster running on the wheel anymore with the perfect soap and the perfect outfit and the perfect everything. And you can get through this and you can get through a pandemic and you can get through, you know, all these things because you do have it all and you will find love. So thank you so much from calling in from Paris and sharing your inspirational stories and everyone should order your books, swiping for Prince charming for the holidays, purchase it for someone that you care about, who's having a hard time dating or finding love. Where can they purchase your book or follow you on social media?

Speaker 3: 34:55

Well, first of all, thank you. Uh, the book is available at Barnes and noble target Walmart, Amazon, and you can find me on social media on Instagram at Sabrina dot Mazzaro M a R Z a R O. And my books Instagram is at swiping for Prince charming.

Speaker 1: 35:15

Amazing. Thank you so much, Sabrina. I just adore you and I'm so grateful that you came on the show today.

Speaker 3: 35:22

Thank you, Carrie. It's been so much fun. I really appreciate

Speaker 1: 35:25

It. Thanks for now. This week's Tinder tips and honor of today's guest Sabrina. Mazzaro these tips come straight from amazing book swiping for Prince charming. Number one. So he may crush your heart and leave you feeling truly naive, but cheer up sweet girl. There's no need to grieve. Number two. Sure. There'll be a few days of crying and lots of chocolate and wine, but this searing pain will subside Justin all due time. Number three, then you'll brush yourself off. Hold your head high for no, man is worse than many tears. You may cry. I hope you found some of my tips helpful this week. This is what shot at love is here for, to help you find love. Keep up the commitment to yourself and commit to helping someone else by sharing this podcast. Remember to stay safe and stay tuned for more episodes. If you like this show, please subscribe and leave a five star review. I'm Carrie Rhett and we'll see you next.

Speaker 2: 36:44

[inaudible].