speaker 0:   0:00
Hello. Hello And welcome back to mind Leverage Podcast. Your weekly mindful look at life in finances with its wiz. I'm your host, Richie. And before you even start, I know I'm late Would not see Oh, yeah, It has been something for me to get this episode recorded and post it on time. So although I'm late, I'm still long Time might not come when you want me, but I'll be there on time, Okay? That is so bad to take that song and change it into that. But y'all emotionally, last week was a week for me. I didn't have my good days and I had also had some heels to climb. You know, we live in uncertain times, and so it's been it's been something, you know, I've been moving just a little bit slower. I'm pretty sure you understand what I mean. And you know, it's hard for me because I'm a Capricorn and what that means, because some people will be like What is that me? What it means is Capricorn's traditionally are harder on themselves. Like literally. I take myself so seriously. Yeah, my approach. My productivity literally has to be through the roof And when I'm not productive, when I feel like I'm moving a little slower like it just feels like I've got nothing done. Like I say as a Capricorn, I promise you, I was in the womb doing Texas, and I jumped out grown as hell. I'm just telling out. And so me having my, you know, emotions make you cry sometime that type of moment. You know, it was hard for me to get everything you know together, get my notes together, talk about what it is I want to talk about. But I'm finally here. So I want to go hit and just move on and shut out. So all the golfer listening Thank you so much. I just appreciate everybody sharing these episodes with your circles, all of the love that's been shown to me. You'll continue to do that. It warms my heart, that shower listening, and it motivates me to keep coming back so I could do this. Let chit chat and Kiki with child every week, you know? So if you're not following me, I'm one I g at mindfully rich. So let's see, last week on mo money mo problems, But is it though episode I talked about my opinion of all the different credit card spenders and then also credit card debt. If you haven't taken the listen So that one I don't know what's going on either. People aren't listening as much last week or yeah, I just didn't like the episode. But this episode, for some reason, is not getting attraction that I'm used to getting or my episode So you don't start falling off now. Seriously, I need all the listens. I just cross over to 800 downloads since starting this black ass on March 9th. So y'all keep listening, okay? Keep sharing share, share everywhere. Okay, So I'm gonna go ahead and move into our mindful money minute segment and the music title inspiration This week is coming from my boy Webby. And it happens to be one of my favorite songs from him. I N d e p e N d e anti. Do you know what that means? If you don't know that you should learn that back in the day. Okay? This is like a Negro spiritual. At this point, you should know this song. OK, but independent. I want to talk about independent in regards to adult saying so. Independence. That's what I should have said in regards to adult see but more specifically adult ing and managing life and your financial mindset as an adult. So chow I remember when I was a kid is this song. I don't know if y'all do this like you have a song that instantly takes you back to childhood, but it's an artist name of mind, and he had a song called Back in the Day. You remember this song? It was like back in the day when that was young. I'm not a kid anymore, but some days a sitting wish I was a kid again. Okay, hit these notes. But this so also played at the beginning of the wood, which also happens to be one of my all time favorite movies. But this song always takes me back to childhood because I'm sure you all remember as a kid you would say, I can't wait a lot. Grown right now is not that adult ing sucks. It's just that adult ing is hard. Y'all Oh, my goodness. Do you remember being an elementary junior high school like no rules? Well, it was some rules. You were living on the appearance roof, so of course you have rules and regulations that you had to follow from them. But the biggest thing you had to worry about was being back in the house before the street lights came on, right? And we used to think that that was a problem that had to be like the worst thing. But then you become an adult and say, Okay, what is this? Now? As adults, we have to manage our time, our lives. We were in households and raise little humans like it is really something, and it can become really complicated. Like I think back to at least in driver's ed, you got a test run. They did not give you a license unless you passed the test. Like for life and adults in your we don't even get a test room. We don't get no test, is just 18. Fly out new adult, go ahead and make it in the world. That's all we get. I know I hear a lot of other millennials talking about lack of money management that we received in school. But hell, if you think about it, lack of instruction for being an adult is what we did. I I'm going to speak pretty broadly and say I don't believe a lot of people receive that type of instruction. Like I feel like there should be some type of handbook. Soon as you turn 18 they handed to you. This is the book of life searching, issue of choice through the context, whatever you need to do. I'm just saying, because when I turned 18 it was in 03 we didn't have smartphones, social media and we definitely didn't have YouTube university. If you wanted to know how somebody was doing, we had to actually call them. I grew up in Chicago, so that's the Midwest. So I didn't know what people on the West Coast what they was doing, what they sounded like, what they like different things like that, because we didn't have all of the things that people have today. If there was a problem, I couldn't search it on the block or join some type of Facebook group. You know, like now is Facebook groups for, like everything. And so I didn't have that. And so that's the reason why I feel like and I'm gonna speak for myself. I didn't feel equipped and becoming an adult, and I felt like I grew up really fast and had to learn a lot of heart lessons just because there was a lot of things that I wasn't prepared for, right? I really feel old saying that. I just thought back to that I'm only 35 it was not social media when I was a thing. That is crazy. Oh, my goodness. But I literally look at my kids and say, I don't know if I'm really gonna let you all be grown at 18. I know that sound crazy, but I don't really know y'all just because knowing how I wasn't 18 and knowing how I look at that age now, I think I'm still, you know, baby them just a little bit. At least teach them, Especially since I'm talking about the things that I didn't learn. And I don't know if you all share in the same feelings. Well, I know there are tons of soft skills needed in adulthood. I want to talk about the mental and life skills that I believe are important in adulthood. So first I want to go ahead and talk about insecurity Young. I don't know about y'all, but a lot of my beginnings. As in my adult years, they were shaped around what other people thought about me. Right, I feel is something admitting that. But you know what? I feel vulnerable enough to share that with your when the podcast, I literally would look at what people would think about where I live, What type of car drove, how I dress, the vacations that I took if I was because when I turned 18 I told you I got married, so I moved away. So vacations. If I was going back home, if I was able to go other places, just looking at all of those different things and those were depicted on what other people thought, you know, if they say it will with she don't come home, she can't afford it, or if she can do this, then she can't do that. So it's like I was literally looking at all of those things, and I don't know why I was doing that. You know this the enforced my hands to spend more money, whether I could afford stuff or not. just because I'm looking at what other people had to say about me and what they thought about me, which just made me more insecure inside and made me broker. In the end, living your life around what other people say and letting them influence you is not the business. OK, that is not it. Okay, Now, I don't think anyone was like telling me this is what it is that you need to do. I just remember myself just acting in those ways. And basically I remember getting this behavior from being in school. You remember when you was in high school, if you didn't have the hide his shoes, hide his purses, closed you was a lame or buster, you know, you just wasn't popular. And so I believe that because when you turn 18 most people are still in high school. I just took that same mentality from high school into my adulthood, which made me, you know, insecure in adulthood. I don't know if you all feel me on that, but insecurities like that needed to be dead it before I even entered into adulthood. And after I learned that I didn't have to think about what other people thought about me or care about what they thought about me. You know, I was able to stay in my own lane and had I learned that mindset earlier, Yeah, when I tell you, I would have saved a lot of money and eliminated so much credit card that trying to do the most when I couldn't do it, child, the stories I could tell Young moving on next. I wish I knew that everyone did not share in the same life experiences that I've seen right. I know that sounds crazy, but as an 80 year old, I used to think that I shared perceptions and perspectives with people like everyone grew up in the same life is me. We had the same life experiences, but I was wrong. While I'm appreciative of growing up where I grew up because I believe it made me into the woman that I am today. I wish I had adopted looking at situations from other perceptions and vantage points so that I could brought in my understanding of life and where people were coming from, and understanding is a big I mean escape said it. What I need from you is understanding. Understanding is not something that everyone has, and it's not a skill that many adults still have acquired. And that's something that I wish I would have learned a little earlier. I had to learn that my upbringings is just my upbringing and my experience and others. They will have their opinions, their experiences, perceptions and perspectives and that they have meaning to. And they will have those points and learn in those points you know, can help me with broadening what my overall perspective is now. Had I known that when I was 1st 18 or when I was first becoming in the dough, I would have shorted so much worry time y'all and wanted people to see things the way I saw it trying to be right. I am that person that will argue you down. Had I learned understanding at a bet at a younger age out of better age. But I guess I see it like this. We learned the things that we learn when we learn them. You know, if I believe that everything happens for a reason, I truly believe hey, but I'm just saying now, just looking back at it, I wish that I would have learned that just, ah, little bit quicker. Yo, I don't know if you remember when you just keep saying, why can't they just see it my way or why don't they see I'm right? They broke. I'm just sell yo in situations like that in life. If we would have learned understanding at that time, you would have just a little bit more patients. You'll be able to understand situations in a way different way, which I believe makes you wiser and less stubborn getting into the last reason I wish I would have known that mistakes are a thing. I told you earlier I'm a Capricorn, so I'm probably gonna blame everything. Gonna be in the Capricorn. Yah! My brain is programmed to believe that I know everything and that I should get things right all the time. The first time, you know, I know some of y'all I like Damn that gotta suck to live like that. It does. It does suck sometimes. Just because I be thinking that I have to master most things that I tried like if I don't become, you know Ah, Thor level guide and whatever it is that I tried, then I didn't try hard enough. And I can be so hard on myself, like literally anything that I have committed to in life. For the most part, I try to give my all and try to ensure that I'm doing it to perfection. So it's really hard. When I fell at things and so I didn't know that, you know, at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again like a Leah song was not out when I first turned 18 so I didn't know have been out. I have been like, Oh, okay, that's cool. I could just myself all try to give mistakes like Cool. You know, I've spent so many days crying over mistakes that I've made just because I was sitting there thinking just like is the end of the world? But it's really not. I don't care to share any of those experiences or mistakes that I made, but I will say that now I've gained the knowledge to know that mistakes they, they help us to be more knowledgeable and to gain direction into the way that we should go next. I didn't know that when I first entered adulthood. I was thinking that I did have toe have, you know, do things perfect. I couldn't make mistakes or it was bad to make mistakes. Now, did anybody tell me that I couldn't make a mistake? I have no idea why I thought that That's just how I thought, because you see, back in the day in the air that I grew up in, I was an athlete and so there wasn't giving out participation. Awards like you had to be good. And so I believe I took that same mindset as an athlete thinking that I can't make mistakes like nobody told me that. But I don't remember having any adults teach me also that you are going to make mistakes. And so I was just hard on myself. And so when you take all of those things that I've talked about insecurity, perception and mistakes, I believe that each of those things, when you gain understanding and gain control of those areas in life and gain your mindset of those areas, you're able to make better decisions and you need your decision making skills just because every single decision that we make now influences something in the future. So the thing about money and debt when it comes to those things, there's already guidelines that help us manage money. One of those things being a budget. When it comes to insecurity and perception that can influence the way you spend, your spending habits can be created off how it is that you see the world or what you think other people are thinking of you. That's the reason why I had that whole thing on what I talked about. And so you don't want that to be something that leads you into debt Just because you haven't taken ahold of any insecurities that you may have or brought into a perception of life, although mistakes, they're gonna happen, as we just talked about, you know, as a kid, didn't think that they were supposed to. But although mistakes are gonna happen, is making sure that you learn from those, and especially in the financial arena, when you have different mistakes. Like, say, I didn't budget enough money here or I made the mistake of spending too much money over here, You know, you learn from those different mistakes that you did so that you're able to do better now if you're not learning from the mistakes and you just continue to do the same things over and over again, that's insanity. That's something that your girl cannot help you with. You gonna need to see one of those professional people so that they can help you with insanity. OK, well, I hope that you enjoyed this topic today talking about independence and adults in It was a little bit lighter just because I've been talking about a lot of heavy stuff on the podcast lately. And so it was a little lighter. So I hope that you enjoy if you took something from this or you think that ah, younger adult could take something from this, Make sure you shared this with them so that they can hear the episode to Maybe they're like it. You just never know. All right, y'all. So we're gonna go ahead and move into our mindful money. Quote of the week. And it is. It's how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success. I really like this quote. This quote is great, because throughout my adults and journey, it wasn't easy to learn my way around independence you not to say the least, but from failing. I learned how to change my mind set and succeed in those areas that I talked to y'all about today insecurity, perception and also about mistakes. So we're gonna go ahead and move on to the Q and a portion. I received the question and it just acts. How do you plan out your financial goals? At first I was wondering, How do I want to answer that? Just because financial goals are subjected, that all just depends on what it is that you want from your life. But I also know, as in the dough, sometimes we stop dreaming. I believe that John need to sit down probably in front of a Disney movie or something. Get you a good I believe in vision boards and everything. Just because with a vision board, you're able to see where it is that you want to be. Sit down, figure out what it is that you want to do what you want to see. I know that we're living in uncertain times at this point in time, but that doesn't mean that you can't plan for the future less, you know, use our words to claim that there is going to be a future. And so if you're trying to figure out how to plan out your financial goals, you have to first know what it is that you want to do. So that takes some time. And I believe that we have time on our hands whenever it is that you're able to just sit down and just look at life and say I want to do this no matter what it is, Don't stop. Don't think, Oh, that cost too much. So I'm not able to do that or achieve that or get that you have to just jot that thing down. Research how much the thing is gonna calls. And then you start planning accordingly how you're going to be able to achieve that. Go. So that's my advice on there. And good luck with that. If you have any questions that you want to act anonymously, of course D m E l i g. I met mindfully rich and I answer it right here when the podcasts you know how we ended Thank acts in autumn questions. So the song I get own repeat this week is Ah, Lena Barack more than anything, is off her new project. It was divine, and I'm also listening to Joe Joe's Gold is offer her new album. I don't really know the name of hers like that. I wasn't really own Jo Jo like that. But I tell you what. One of my girls told me to listen to it. That's on gold, that is, go both songs. I definitely a vibe. So if you want to check out some new songs, check those out. So the shows that I'm into this week, of course, insecure Love the show, he says. My girl. But you really need to get off Miley. If you watched the show, you know what's going on. It's a friendship breakdown between Miley and ESA, and the main word that I'm going to take from their episode is communication as adults. Let's use communication a little bit more. I know I wasn't talking about it on here, but seriously, if you have a problem, communicate that with people came nobody regional, man, that is a serious thing that we need to learn that I don't think we learned that in school either. So look a job getting a new additional skill that we need to learn on. And then also, I'm watching for life on ABC when I tell you how it is good, Okay with the tea is really goods going to check that out? Other than that, nothing is really grinding my gears. I just love seeing grinding my gears called a little family guy overall still blessed, but I have been kind of like a e mahmoud. I told y'all a little earlier, owned the podcast. When I first started it, I lost my mom and back in October of 2018 and then not to far down the line. In May of 2019 I lost my dad. And so I'm coming up on a year of my dad's passing now, and I've just been thinking about the both of them, so its course is making me really emotional. But me being the strong person that I am, sometimes I don't allow those emotions to get to me, and I just go to guide and pray. And so I am still just praying strength over my life from that just because that is a lot to deal with, and I believe Now I'm starting to take in all of those things that I've been through. And so that's kind of where I'm at. Not really nothing like I said, grinding my gears just in a prayerful mode. Still grateful every day me and my kids were good bye. Family members. My friends were all still good. No one suffering. We don't have any illnesses. So for the most part, you girl is good over here, So Ah, big. Yes. So all. Yeah, but listen into my little podcast. Appreciate you. I'll keep coming back. You'll make sure that shall continue listening and sharing. Y'all know, word of mouth is one of the most powerful ways to share things. So make sure you are telling people about the podcast. That's if you like it. So I love hearing from you all knowing who my niche audience s. Oh, yeah. Make sure you continue to keep reaching. Now that motivates me to continue to keep coming back. If you're not following me on I g, I'm at mindfully rich and until next week, when I hit you out with another one