It is easy to expect the Church to train our kids in discipleship. But as parents, we need to take the discipleship of our children seriously. We need to be an example to our children. In this episode, Brody speaks to parents of little kids and parents who have teenagers/adult children. He walks through how we can trust the Lord with our children in all the stages of their lives.
We need to be investing in the spiritual development of our families. Let’s pray for our children and trust and believe that the Lord is going to change their hearts.
Resources:
Please leave a review on Apple or Spotify to help improve No Sanity Required and help others grow in their faith.
Click here to get our Colossians Bible study.
It is easy to expect the Church to train our kids in discipleship. But as parents, we need to take the discipleship of our children seriously. We need to be an example to our children. In this episode, Brody speaks to parents of little kids and parents who have teenagers/adult children. He walks through how we can trust the Lord with our children in all the stages of their lives.
We need to be investing in the spiritual development of our families. Let’s pray for our children and trust and believe that the Lord is going to change their hearts.
Resources:
Please leave a review on Apple or Spotify to help improve No Sanity Required and help others grow in their faith.
Click here to get our Colossians Bible study.
Today we're going to talk about parenting, but we're going to spread this out over all of your parenting life. So if you're a mom or a dad to a newborn or a toddler, there's going to be nuggets here for you. There are going to be some things that I think you can take away. If you're someone who has already raised your kids there out of the house, you might have regrets. I know you have regrets, we all do. I've got regrets with my kids that are gone and you sometimes can beat yourself up over things and there's going to be something here for you If that's your situation. If you're a grandparent and there's going to be wisdom here and just want to look at some things that hopefully will be an encouragement.
Speaker 1:And before we intro and get into this, let me tell you where this is coming from, other than the fact that we try to hit the issue with the topic of parenting fairly regular.
Speaker 1:But the thing that's really driving this is several conversations I've had recently with discouraged parents who feel like that their kids have turned from the faith or that they've lost their children, and I want to encourage you that the Lord is always in control and it's never too late and that God moves in the lives of our sons and daughters, often in ways that we can't foresee and we can't control, and I want you to be encouraged by it.
Speaker 1:And if you've got young kids, I want to give you some encouragement, hopefully to help you in the journey and the. I mean we're going to talk about adoptive parents, fostering. We're going to kind of just scatter cover a lot of bases. We're going to talk about raising your own biological children, what it like. We're going to be all over the place, but I think it's going to be cohesive and it's going to make sense and it's going to be principled. So I think it'll be helpful and I hope it'll be beneficial and that you'll be able to share this and others will benefit from it. Thank you for uh for tuning in to no Sanity Required.
Speaker 2:Welcome to no Sanity Required from the Ministry of Snowbird Roaderness Outfitters. A podcast about the Bible, culture and stories from around the globe.
Speaker 1:I often have conversations with parents of teenage or adult children that where the parents are dealing with a lot of regret, they're sad that they didn't do something, that they didn't do more, or they feel like they did something wrong and they've lost their children or their children have rejected the faith. And no doubt the greatest, I guess the most difficult thing that any parent would ever face if you're a Christ follower, would be for your son or your daughter to reject Christ. Now, whatever that manifests itself as, maybe they turn to, uh, same-sex lifestyle, maybe they turn to transgenderism, maybe they remain heterosexual and it's not a sexual rebellion, maybe it's uh. Or they remain heterosexual and it's a, a lifestyle where they, they choose to live outside of wedlock and live in sin, maybe sexual promiscuity, maybe they they marry and marry and raise children. And I I have had this often where, um, someone raises a son, raises a daughter, and try to do that in the nurture and abomination of the Lord. They walk away from the Lord and they marry and get a job, go to school, raise a family, you know all those things, but they, they do it without pursuing the Lord. They reject the gospel.
Speaker 1:Had a conversation this week with the, with the guy that. That's his story. He. He's raised a pastor's son. I've met the dad also. Dad was dad loves the Lord as an awesome man, a good brother, and he has. He's broken hearted because this young man is. He married a woman and they have decided that they're they're not going to pursue relationship with Christ and they've abandoned the fate. Then the man are making good money and by the world standards they're successful. I don't believe they have any children.
Speaker 1:But, uh, that dad's dealing with a lot of, you know, questions what did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? We all, no doubt we're all going to wrestle with that and I want to encourage those parents that are dealing with that with that fear and and the anxiousness that comes from that. You know you've got a wayward son or daughter and and you're thinking, man, what did I do wrong? But more importantly, I think, what can I do? Now? You know the, the, the there's the, there's the frustration or the guilt of wrestling with what did I do wrong and kind of beating yourself up. But there's a greater energy that is usually spent in asking what can I do? I want to do something, how can I fix this? And the. The simple answer to that is you can't fix it. You know you can't fix something that the Lord alone can fix, and and so only God can fix what is broken in in the heart and the life of your son or daughter.
Speaker 1:For those of you that have young sons and young daughters, young children, whether they're biological children or adopted children, there are principles that you must abide by if you're going to raise your sons and daughters in a way that will point them to Jesus. Ultimately. Things like you cannot let them have their way when they demand it of you. You cannot let them exert their will in such a way that your will is defeated. You cannot let them be the balls and I bring that up because, just like the parent that may struggle with their wayward adult son or daughter, I see a lot of parents. They don't struggle, they don't realize what's happening right in front of them.
Speaker 1:I was, I was just the other day at Snowbird. I was in the, in the dining facility there, the metal building that a lot of you, a lot of our listeners, will have been to, and I watched a. I watched a little boy, a child. I'm not going to say how old he was, but he was young and I watched him just defiantly talk to his mama like she was a dog, you know, and I watched the dad sort of address it. But but I wanted to, I wanted to go over and say I mean, can I help you out? But I don't.
Speaker 1:You know, it's always that's always tricky and I've learned you got to be careful where you insert yourself, especially if you don't know somebody very well or don't know him at all. We've all had that situation where you're in the grocery store line or a restaurant and some kid's going crazy, losing their mind, you know, and taking control of the situation and a parent's don't know what to do and, like gosh man, it's out of control. And then I guess the other thing that jumps out at me is the difficulty of raising teenagers. I'm sure we have some listeners that are in the middle of raising teenagers and that can be incredibly overwhelming. They're being pulled and tugged on by society and culture and movements, and social media is pulling in one direction and the influences of the trash music and programming, you know, on streaming platforms like Netflix and Disney Plus, and things that you can't turn a blind eye to because they're flying under the radar and poisoning your kid's brain sometimes in terms of how they, how they deconstruct family structure and what God is designed for. Sexuality, and it's coming at us from every side and if you're a parent to teens it can be overwhelming At the same time.
Speaker 1:I talk to youth pastors oftentimes who will say the biggest hurdle to their student pastor and to their student ministry is parents. You know, I feel like I've got kids that that will be discipled, they want to grow, they want to be called up for it, but the biggest hurdle is parents, that that don't get on board and partnering. And so what I want to do, I bring up all those different dynamics to say we're not going to tackle any single one of those. We could do an episode and we will in the future. We, when we have you know we have in the past we'll do an episode on on child rearing, maybe in the early years. Maybe we've never. Actually I don't think we've ever zeroed in on just child rearing, from birth to eight, something like that. And then maybe we go eight to 16, you know something like that 15, 16. And then we go from, or maybe eight to 12. And we go through the teenage years and then what it is to parent as an adult, two adults, and maybe we'll do that, but for today, what I want to do is give you practical principles, practical principles for growing godly families.
Speaker 1:Now, one thing I want to say before I get into this if you, if you are already through the child rearing and you're dealing with that regret, just listen, just lay it before the Lord and be the best adult parent and friend to your adult children that you can be and pray for them constantly, pray for them without ceasing and pre, but listen, pray, trust in and believe in that the Lord is going to change the heart of your son or your daughter. Pray believing, pray constant. So so the two principles and, by the way, this is all going to seem overly simple, but it's because it is, but we just got to do it. If you're a parent of adult children, and particularly adult children that have turned away from the Lord, pray constantly, don't stop praying, pray every day, pray in and out of every day. Don't stop praying, pray every day, pray in and out of every day. And pray believing, hopeful that God will change them. And then don't feel like the pressure is on you to go talk to them and change them. In fact, usually you know if you're in that situation. You know how that goes. That does not go good. So pray for them and trust that the Lord's going to. They're going to go through some life experiences where the choices that they're making, when somebody rejects God's plan and God's design, that it's a matter of time until something's going to come crashing down. So pray for them and pray, believe it, and then just just pray expectantly and show them kindness and love and believe that the Lord is going to, that the Lord is going to bring them back to the place of, you know, faithfulness.
Speaker 1:There's a guy in early part of 1 Samuel and he has this phenomenal ministry, I mean as ministry resumes ago. This guy is, I mean, he's the best of the best. His name is Eli and he's a priest and he's actually the guy that raises and disciples Samuel. He raises and disciples Samuel. Samuel becomes the prophet of God who leads the nation of Israel. Samuel's this guy who's sort of he's, he's got he's. It's unique what he does because he is one. In one sense, he is the final judge. If you read through the the period of the judges in Israel, samuel's a judge, but then he's also a prophet and he becomes the prophet of God who anoints the first two kings, saul and David. And Eli has you know you won't talk about you want to talk about, like, ministry qualifications. You know what I mean. You want to talk about somebody that's like, that's had incredible influence. This guy, eli, his legacy, samuel is his legacy who becomes the guy that mentors King David you know, samuel mentors King David and and Samuel is raised and discipled by Eli. They're one of the most fruitful ministries in terms of influence. I mean, you can't deny that.
Speaker 1:But Samuel has two sons. I'm sorry, eli has two sons. I believe their names were Houghney and Phineas, if you go back to the first Samuel, chapter two, and these guys were man, they were priests who were sexually promiscuous. I mean they, they were raised up in the priesthood under their dad, but they were not believers and they used it for selfish gain and profit. They stole from the church, they, they were sexually promiscuous with women in the church and as a train wreck, and so, as a result, god removed the priesthood from their house. He sent judgment by the mouth of a prophet and those two sons, houghney and Phineas. Phineas were killed because of their sin and ultimately, as eventually Eli the priest died as a result of all this kind of a cascade, in effect, and God not only pronounced judgment on Eli, but it was public and the people under his ministry leadership were affected like drastically.
Speaker 1:So how do we learn from Eli? Especially? That would especially be true for those of us that are in ministry. You know, if you're a pastor, a youth pastor, if you're someone who's who's devoted to ministry but I think we could take that also and just say, if you're someone who's living out your faith, what a catastrophic thing if you have an incredible ministry legacy with other people. I don't want to say catastrophic, but what a sad story if your own children reject the faith.
Speaker 1:And so let's look at some, some practical principles for growing godly families. All right, the first one is you got to be on mission as as a, you know, as an adult, as a family. Be on mission and then bring your children into that mission and ministry. Don't separate them and isolate them from what what you're doing like. Be on mission as a family. Now, again, we kind of divide this into if you're truly an in ministry. You know my pastor, joseph Tucker, I think he's of a guy. He's in full-time ministry, raising two sons right now. That might look different from from someone who is not serving in any ministry capacity but as a Christian businessman or woman you know. I think of a, a couple of moms in our church that are hard-working ladies their school teachers who see the platform of Education as teachers, like they see that as ministry opportunity. They're single moms raising their kids and and a lot of hurdles there, but they but the thing that we can do is we bring our sons and daughters into the mission that God's called us to. Anybody who's a believer is on mission, so bring them into your ministry and your mission.
Speaker 1:If you're trying to reach, you should all to be trying to reach your neighbors, your friends and People up and down your road or your street. Maybe we know we've talked in the past about going on do it, do a ministry vacation where, like, instead of going to Dollywood or Orlando or Myrtle Beach, you know something like that, instead of doing that, maybe do a vacation and maybe you don't, maybe you don't replace your family vacation with this. Maybe you do a separate trip but go somewhere, like my friend Hank their families to. Always when they're raising their kids they would go serve in an orphanage in Mexico every year for a week Incredible, incredible experience for those kids. We did something similar. We raised our three oldest children going and serving every year in an orphanage in Central America and Chris will bring them into mission.
Speaker 1:Then also have people in your home single moms, fostering kids, single moms and then kids that are being fostered, having them over you and we have, we have some kids that will come and stay and Come spend time in our home, who are from difficult family situations or from the foster community, and so our kids are on, you know, kind of Taking part in that. Just reach out and be on ministry together, look for opportunities to bless other people, go to a service project, but don't do this like just ever, once in a while, like a part of your lifestyle is to serve others. Meet in the mornings or in the evenings together as a family or in car rides and pray for people, identify the needs of people and turn what might would become gossip. Especially. This is where it's really good if you, if you got teenage kids where you would easily turn into Talking about other kids and other families, making an opportunity to share burdens, and you got to guide that as an adult and as a parent, like, hey, how, how is, how is Maggie? How is you know, how is this, this kid that you go to school with? You know McKinsey and Maggie, these two girls that are fighting or that or or are in a same-sex Relationship, and how can we pray for them and how can you be better friend for them? How do we identify, maybe, what's going on with their families and how might we, as a family, minister to them? So you're having these strategic conversations where you're bringing your kids into ministry, not just, not just let's homeschool, close the door, send money off to missions, write missionary letters, pray for our missionaries that's good, that's important, do those things. And I'm not throwing off on homeschooling, but I'm saying how do we engage, especially if you're a homeschool family, how do you engage the community or the people around you? How do you get involved in ministry? And it's hard, I know, because I'll be honest, if I had my way, we would homeschool all of our children. I think that would be, and I think if little had her, I mean if we could do it, we would. It's not a feasible plan for us, but for people that can do it, I think it's. It's an awesome avenue. God has called us into a ministry platform, where for this season that's not feasible and but but what we can do is we can invest in the spiritual development of our family and then also get everybody on mission together Because ultimately, our lives are going to either legitimize the gospel to our children or falsify it.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you a story. I went recently, had my children, my and, for those of you that don't know me or aren't familiar with my family dynamic, I have three adult children and I have my wife and I have three middle school aged children 11, 13, 14 and those, those younger kids, are growing up in a completely different atmosphere and environment than the three older ones. You know, think about how much this world has changed in the last five years. Think where we were five years ago Now, think where we were about eight years ago. It's radically different, drastically different, and so you know it's it's I'm having to relearn, and that's another point we'll make here in just a little bit I'm having. Actually, the next point that we'll make, maybe two points down, is, you know, having to relearn how to do it with these kids. It's not always parenting is not the same with every kid. Necessarily you got to figure it out, you know, from kid to kid.
Speaker 1:But anyway, we went on a. We went to get ice cream, I think, yeah, it was ice cream. It was ice cream and coffee shop. And we went there and we planned on the front end hey guys, we're going to go in and whoever serves us and waits on us, we're going to give them $25 as a tip. And we knew our whole bill was going to be about probably $10 to $15. I mean, the three kids were getting ice cream and I was. I don't think I got anything that day. And so we planned this like, okay, here's how much money we've got. We brought $40 with us. This was a mid, this was an outing to go bless somebody. And so we go in and and there ended up being two ladies, two gals that waited on us. So we went and got $25 more. We gave them $50 for I think we spent $11 on our bill and gave $50 in tip.
Speaker 1:Now you might think that is asinine, that's crazy, but what we're doing is we're showing our kids. I'm showing the kids in that situation. We don't do that all the time. I mean that's a. I'm not going. You know, I couldn't afford to do that all the time but to bless others and then to show them the love and kindness that we want to show them as a believer. And these are, these are, you know people that we, we sort of know their local business, and so what's the point of doing something like that? Well, the point is two-fold it's to bless the person on the other side of the cash register, behind the apron or whatever that is is is working in service, which nowadays is so hard to find. People that will do that.
Speaker 1:Well, but then also as an example to our children, like, hey, when we go in and we sit down to have a meal at a restaurant, we're still on mission, we're still doing ministry. And we might ask them hey, we're going to pray. As a family, we'd like to pray for you. And I hear people say that, like you know, ask the, ask the person that is serving you how you might pray for them. And that's good. But, man, at the end of it, why don't we get into our pockets you know a little bit and bless them that way? And it meant it really just. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you we've done this a lot and it works. It changes people's outlook. It it blesses them. You can see their countenance lift. You don't know if the person before you was a complete jerk to them.
Speaker 1:You know, you still know, and so bringing your children into your ministry, into your mission, and then thinking outside of the box, that does that might mean that what one thing it might mean is that we pray together as a family, for missionary a different missionary each night, and then maybe each morning we pray, or each night we pray for a neighbor or a classmate. Everybody identifies somebody they want to pray for. We're just having conversation where it's a part of our daily flow of life, and then we're we're when we go to have a meal or eat at a restaurant or pull up to a drive-thru. We're kind, we're engaging with the people that serve us, and so you're always having a ministry mindset. The next thing is have a have a plan for spending time together each week and guard that. Now we are busy. You got travel ball.
Speaker 1:If you're raising, you know, middle school kids and high school kids, maybe you got. If you're raising toddlers, you know you get moms. You get a group of moms that are that have infants and toddlers around and all they're gonna talk about is motherhood. That's all they're gonna talk about. I see it happen all the time at church and at and at Camp at Snowbird, where all of the moms of young kids, their whole life revolves around those young children, and so it's just you, you, you spend time together because you're taking care of those kids right. And then even when you're around other moms, people, they have this term, they call it a play date. We're gonna have a play date, which we never use that terminology, but I think it's where, like a couple moms are gonna get together and let their kids play and the moms are gonna talk and visit, and that's something that people will do.
Speaker 1:But inevitably when kids, you know, are playing together and moms are hanging out, you know you got a couple of moms there with some nursing aged babies and then a couple toddlers and maybe some of them are a little bit older and they're all just kind of running and playing and goofing off, and so at that, at that time of parenting, it's easy to spend time together. You know it, just it, it's natural. I should say it's sort of in the flow of your life. Now, if you're a working mom and you drop your kid off at a grandparents house or a daycare, then maybe a little bit more difficult, but it's still you're gonna pick them up and it's gonna be in the again in the flow of your evening schedule that you know that child is gonna be much more dependent on you, whereas when they get a little bit older like I've got you know that middle school age this is one of the things I notice it's important that they want to spend the night somewhere or have somebody come over, or they want to sit with somebody else at church, or always. They never want to just hang out as a family and so you got to be a little more intentional with that. So I want my kids to be able to go and play and have fun and, you know, go, go over to someone else's house and get out of the house and go goof off, ride bikes, whatever.
Speaker 1:For us it's always works good to on Sundays, to have a block of time that as we Sabbath together as a family, then I think that would. That's what the next principle that kind of piggybacks off of this one is Guard some time where you're gonna maybe pray together, study the scripture together. So we have a big. We have a big Sunday lunch, followed by sitting around talking about the scripture and having a devotional family time, and when that's over we either go for a walk or a bike ride. If it's a rainy day, we go do an indoor activity either play games there at the kitchen table, or we'll go over to the indoor basketball hoops and play some basketball or Gaga ball or something like that. But it's it's block off a time each week where you can guard that time. When I say guard it, I mean you're gonna easily talk yourself out of sticking to it. And again, we're not just talking about I was talking about parents of toddlers. In fact I'm not talking to parents of toddlers and babies. That's easy. You're already gonna be spending time together, but as they get older they're gonna be less and less interested in family time, unless you cultivate it. So cultivate it, which in that next point is kind of a sub point which is actively practice celebrating the Sabbath. So, once a week, shut everything down other than going to church. Just shut it down Like man.
Speaker 1:I will tell you and I did an episode a year or two ago on, you know, our sons and daughters and sports and athletics, and I'm gonna tell you if you have to take your kid three out of four weekends a month to play in some basketball tournament at a, you're flustered, they ain't gonna go play division one ball. If you got to do that to get them there, they're not. They are not. If they're good enough, they're gonna make it with minimal disruption to the flow of your Sundays. Can I say that again, if they're good enough, first off God's gonna bless it, he's gonna honor it. But what? What does it profit a person if they get their kid to a division two or division three or NAA school to play volleyball, and not even on a scholarship, you know. But but you, you sacrifice two or three weekends a month to put them in tournaments and wear them out. And yeah, that was fun and yeah, they loved it and you loved it. But what's going to give them strength for the journey of the next four decades?
Speaker 1:Carve out the Sabbath. We did it and I talked about it in that episode that we did on on raising kids and sports. We committed that that, uh, I remember. I remember our oldest son, tucker, playing in some some high level basketball stuff and we committed that he would only play on Saturdays. He will not be there on Sundays and man, in 2024, europe, people are going to look at you like you're crazy. If you do that, you're like well, then, what's use? I can't play if we're going to do that.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you, having raised children and being on the other side of child rearing, there's nothing more valuable and more important than Sabbath together, worshiping, fellowship and having food, a meal, being at home, going to church and being in that, in that setting, with God's people. Man, it's invaluable. Does it mean you're not going to miss a Sunday here and there? Okay, I'm not, don't. This is not a letter of the law. But whether it's travel, sports or going to the lake or whatever, your summer is, where you can you convince yourself that you need to miss church? One say, one Sunday turns to two or three. It's not about going to church as a, as a rule or point of legal legalism. It's about being involved in the local body together, as a family, because it's another discipleship tool in the life of your children. So take that serious, you know, enjoy the Sabbath together. That's all I'll say about that. I could, that could be its own episode, I know.
Speaker 1:The next thing is, as a parent, it is your responsibility to quote train up a child. The word of God is very clear that, as a parent, the primary growth and discipleship of my children rests with me. Man, it's look, read over there in Deuteronomy six, where Moses is writing and he's like hey, when you guys are up and about and you're moving around in and out of your day to day life, just be constantly talking about the things of the Lord. Proverbs 22, six. It says train up a child. That train up it. And it has to do with education and discipline and teaching them work ethic and and make it fun. I'm not going to be a teacher. I'm not going to be a teacher. I'm not going to be a teacher and make it fun. My dad always I will say this I have.
Speaker 1:I do not begrudge my dad for the way he raised me when it comes to chores and work ethic and I'm so thankful he made me work my butt off. My dad made me I mean, work my tail off. I worked so hard at a young age and I'm thankful I would not change that. It instilled things in me with my kids, one thing that I, you know each generation. We ought to tweak it and do it a little bit better. My kids should be better parents than I was right, and I'm good with that.
Speaker 1:But one thing that I think is so cool is to work together. So yesterday, as I'm recording this, yesterday is real cold here. It's probably I think the high was probably in the, you know, maybe the 40 degree range, but once that sun got down it was real quick, dipping down close to freezing. So we'll say, let's say it's 40 degrees, so that's chilly. I'm sure if you live up north it's not, but down here it is, in Southern Appalachia the cold is damp, it's just it's a damp coldness.
Speaker 1:And we worked firewood for I don't know hour and a half together and it was the whole family. Little was out there. I was teaching Juju how to drive the stick I'm teaching her that right now in general but during that, you know so she was driving the truck up and down the driveway, like from where we were loading firewood up to where we're stacking it at the house and and so you know it's taking us forever to get up the driveway because she's stalling it out and popping the clutch and then little's yelling and cheering her on and it's just fun and but. But it was legitimate. We're working together as a family and they're learning. You know responsibility, but we're all doing it together.
Speaker 1:And then you know, maybe after supper y'all take part in kitchen cleanup, and but the point being training up a child is teaching them how to work. It's disciplined when they fail, it's it's going to the school to talk to teachers or coaches, but not in the heat of an emotional moment, but but strategically setting up meetings with teachers and counselors so that you might have a good partnership. If you're homeschooling, it's going to come a little easier. In that regard, I do think that, more times than not, homeschooling is an incredible option if it works for you, but for most of us it doesn't. It worked for us with our older children when they were in elementary school, um but, but it doesn't work for us now. But if it does work, I think that's awesome. It's. It's a little bit easier to implement certain things when, when you are, their educational influence all day.
Speaker 1:But even you know, the point of this one is it's my responsibility as a dad and my wife's responsibility as a mom to train these, to train up a child. It's not the responsibility of the state or the school or the church. We say it again it's not the responsibility first and foremost of the state, the school or the church. I say that because a lot of people say, well, the state's the worst parent, the public school system is this or that, and people tend to get kind of. You know, a lot of times people that are Christians will get, will be negative towards government institutions, and some of that may be rightfully so. But there's some godly people in the schools. There's some godly people in government, the.
Speaker 1:The reality is, I think it's easy to expect the church to train up our children in terms of discipleship, and the truth is we need to. We need to train our kids up. Teach them how to work, teach them how to read God's word, teach them how to love. God's word Doesn't mean it's going to stick, doesn't mean they're going to stick with it, but but doing it the best you can. Next, my children need to feel like they are my, my most enjoyable and rewarding asset. I think it's probably especially when they're, when they're in those formative years, when they're young, they're little, they don't feel like they're burdened to you, they don't think like that. But as they get older, they understand how they're going to feel more 57, feel the little bit. Make sure they feel like man. I love being your dad. I love being your mom. You are my most enjoyable.
Speaker 1:The greatest, most rewarding and enjoyable ministry of my life is disciplining you. It's teaching you how to be a man, teaching you how to be a woman. We wanna raise you up and teach you. It's not just here's the rules, follow them. It's not just this is what we do, cause the Bible says so. It's teaching what the scripture says and teaches and showing them and then walking it out and doing it joyfully and really ordering our lives around the authority and the practical application of scripture.
Speaker 1:Don't just go to church on Sunday and call it good. Don't just go to church a couple Sundays a month, because the other two Sundays you're at the travel tournament for baseball or basketball or volleyball, whatever it is, and then. But the other two Sundays we go to church and we check the box and we spend our hour and 15 at church and call it good. Nope, deep dive into their discipleship. Deep dive into their discipleship. They are the most rewarding ministry you have. I can tell you this right now Even if they succeed at a high level in athletics, it's gonna be over by the time they're in their 20s. What if they live to be 60 and you live into your 80s? And that relationship is gonna be so different when sports and child rearing are all over. You know I keep gravitating towards sports because we're a sports family.
Speaker 1:You could plug in anything there. We could. Don't get me started on video games and gaming. That's like a plague in my house because my boys love it. They love it so much. My children should feel like as a family we're all part of ministering to the needs of people around us. That kind of goes with what I said earlier. It was a little bit redundant. Let me go to the next one. The word of God must be the center of conversation at home. This constantly goes back to that Deuteronomy 6, 6 through 9 that I was talking about. We bring the word of God to light and to life in our children. We instruct them from the scripture as a dad or a mom. Just a great opportunity for you to become a better student of the word, to learn how to teach a biblical principle.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you a story that happened to us recently. We were doing our Sunday family devotion and it was super simple. The devotion was on generosity let's learn how to be generous, let's be generous, let's be givers. And our kids were responding to it, listening to it. And we get to the end of the devotion and I say, okay, what's something that you've done that was generous, have you? And we're struggling. I'm like, have you ever given something to somebody? And a couple of the kids could not come up with a time where they had given someone something out of generosity. I was like I want you to pray about, think about how you change that. And it was cool, cause this came on the heels of the story I told earlier about the tip where I'd tip this lady or these two girls, and so it was cool.
Speaker 1:One of my boys came up to me that night and said or that next night that was on our Sunday devotion and on Monday night he said, hey, can we buy some cookies? He wanted to buy a tub of you know the cookie dough that comes in a tub and make a big batch of cookies. I want to put them in Ziploc bags and give them to people at school this week. And so we did it and I would cook, you know. Or we baked cookies and then we put three to a Ziploc bag and he made a list of folks who want to give them to and he took them. Wonderful opportunity to just learn about generosity. No deep spiritual thing was happening there. It was just showing hospitality and generosity in a simple way. It's not rocket science, we can figure this out. Just be intentional.
Speaker 1:And I think the final word to dads is that, as a dad, you need to lead. You need to lead. Listen to this. I want to give you a statistic. Dad's want to give you a statistic. Recent study on conversion in the family. When a child is the first convert to Christ in a family, 3.5% of families will follow suit. So if a hundred families are not Christian and one of the kids becomes a Christ follower this is a kid that's still living in the home, I think then three to four of those families will follow suit Out of a hundred families. If mom is the first to trust Christ, then 17% of those families so 17 of the 100 will then become a Christian family. They'll follow mom's influence. But when dad out of a hundred families, when dad is the first one to convert, 93 of those hundred families become Christian families. And you could apply those numbers to discipleship.
Speaker 1:And I would say to pastors this word youth pastors, missionaries as a minister of the gospel, I do not get a pass when it comes to ministry, to my family. Now, the reality is I have a raised bar when it comes to my family. I need to be faithful. I need to watch the kids that I raise and need to help them to develop a biblical worldview, a love for the gospel, an understanding of their own value in Christ, an unquenchable desire to lead their own family in that way one day. I need to teach them how to love people well, how to love ministry and not be resentful for it or to it. And if the gospel is gonna be our legacy, if we're as pastors and ministers of the gospel, it needs to be from the home first, not from the church, the pulpit, the mission field, and then the. So that's the last thing I wanna say to dad specifically, that sort of add that to dad specifically, and that's I mean too, I'm sorry, to pastors and missionaries specifically, and that'd be me and men, women, people that are in ministry.
Speaker 1:But then, if you let me just say that, if you feel overwhelmed right now, parenting, just take a breath, take a step back and know the Lord's gonna take care of you, he's gonna guide you. Be willing to be willing to get uncomfortable and to have hard conversations. You know, the last few weeks we talked about pornography. Last week we listened to the message that I shared with y'all, that I had shared with the boys that are here in Holy, that those two episodes on pornography and then the previous episodes on the spirit of Babylon recognize that you're raising, we are raising sons and daughters, and if you're at the point where you're about to send them into adulthood, you're sending them out into the wolves because we're in a hostile world right now. It's always been hostile, but right now it's out of control, it is so heightened. And so send them into the world as equipped as you possibly can and be willing to make mistakes and admit when you're wrong. Another thing that I would say is when you mess up, okay, perfect example.
Speaker 1:This happened to me yesterday that I said something to one of my children and I felt convicted that it was in the wrong tone of voice. But I didn't think that the kid even knew it. But I knew my heart had been. I had been snarkier, like sarcastic, in what I had said. It wasn't loving, it wasn't tender, it wasn't shaping them, it was. It was harsh. And so I called that kid over at bedtime last night. I said, hey, come here, I want to talk to you just a second. And I just said I don't know if you called it or not, but when I said that today, this evening, when I said this thing, you know what I said to you it was, it was a little bit sharp and harsh and I'm sorry, I want to ask you to forgive me for that and I don't want to have that kind of tone with you and I'm sorry. And and this kid was like I didn't even notice it.
Speaker 1:But thanks, and you know I love you and, anyway, just be willing to admit when you're wrong and and confess that you've done something wrong, but at the same time, have the the nerve and the audacity and the tenacity and strength to lead, because sometimes you're wrong, but a lot of times parents apologize when they shouldn't. Don't apologize for not letting your kid have social media. Don't apologize for not letting your daughter get on, you know Snapchat. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so strict. No, you should. You should protect them from that. You know there's certain things you should do so, be willing to, to be bold, and know that if you're bold as a parent, but but you temper that boldness with kindness and gentleness, that there are going to be times we have to repent and ask for forgiveness and that's okay. Okay, they'll grow from that.
Speaker 1:And then the last thing that I mentioned real early in the episode that I wanted to say is sometimes you're going to make mistakes and raise in them, but sometimes you're going to have to raise one child differently than you did another one. And it's easy to feel like, okay, I'm a hypocrite, because let's say, you've got one son and then another son five years younger, and that first son, you raised him and and maybe you spanked him over X, y and Z, and then this, this five year younger son, you realize I can't spank him. He doesn't respond well to that. You're not being inconsistent if you discipline him in a different manner. If it's if, if the goal of discipline is to. You know, we've talked about the goal. We're going to do it, by the way, in 2024. I don't remember when it slated, but we have a parenting episode on discipline that we're going to roll out. Just discipline kids. But the goal of discipline is to restore fellowship and to bring reconciliation between parent and child maybe between child and child, you know and parent. So if that's my goal, is to restore fellowship, then the method of discipline might change from child to child or situation to situation. Just don't, don't get locked in ruts, just be thinking how do I do this? I can think back to my childhood and a few times, for my dad, my folks were still together and my dad, he, he whooped me and whooped me and whooped me, and I would think, I look back and I think there are some of those weapons I needed, I needed to be absolute, absolutely wore out, but there's others that was like, probably, that probably wasn't the best thing, it'd probably better if, instead, we would have done this other thing, you know, and just be, be, be okay, changing it up and then educate yourself.
Speaker 1:If you foster or adopt, you have to come up with a different set of principles and guidelines. Same, maybe, same principles, but the way you're going to apply them going to be different. I promise you, if you adopt, it is not little Annie or little orphan Annie on the stoop waiting on daddy war books to come by, and and she's, you know, don't romanticize it, it is the one of the hardest things and you're even if you adopt a small infant. It's going to be tough, there's going to be hurdles, you have, but if you adopt a lot of a lot of our listeners have adopted older kids and man it's so difficult, it's not as simple as as raising a biological child that mom carried in the womb and then you know, imprinted and it's different.
Speaker 1:So be willing to flex and bend within the parameters of the principles of scripture to raise up a child in the way you should go and the nurture and the admonition of the Lord trust in. And here's the last word for parents that are struggling right now because your adult kids have walked away. When he is old, he will not depart from it. That mom or that dad that's listening right now, that grandmother, grandfather and that 22, 26, 30 year old son or daughter that's turned away from the Lord. There is a promise in scripture that I believe that child will return to the Lord and and and you may not live to see it and you got to be okay with that. But I will tell you this I've seen it happen so often that I believe that it happens more times than not when parents are faithful to pray for their sons and daughters. And, yeah, maybe maybe they turned away because of your foul ups and your screw ups. Maybe you messed up and you blew their childhood and they're the, they're the casualty, they're the victim. But now you're trying to walk with the Lord. Give it to the Lord and let him bring healing. He'll do it, I promise. It'll just take time maybe, but he'll do it, and so just trust him and believe. Thank you all for listening.
Speaker 1:Next week's episode I'm going to read several missionary updates. I want to give some updates on missionaries in particular. I want to. I want to talk. I want to highlight a missionary family, the golfs, who live in. I don't know if I can say where they live, so I'm not going to say it right now. I think I can, but let me check with them, make sure I can say the specific location, and over the next few weeks and months we're going to start doing some missionary updates week to week. So I'm looking forward to that. We're going to look at the golfs, we're going to look at the Ellis's, we're going to look at the Belus, we're going to look at the Shives we're going to take. So we're going to do like and others, the Roberts's we're going to do missionary highlights. So I'm looking forward to that and I'm trying to do one a week over the next few weeks and, yeah, looking forward to that. But one of those missionaries, the one we're going to highlight next week, I'm going to read an email from them and excited to share that with you. It's some, some, some cool ministry content that's been developed with that family, particularly with that wife and mom, and anyway, we'll share it with you.
Speaker 1:I'm going to share a couple other emails that we've gotten recently that I just wanted to read and just give it. It's been a God's using NSR to be a blessing to so many people, so I want to want to read one or two of those here as we close. So this is from a guy named Jack recently spoken to men's event. I've spoken at three or four men's events here in the last couple months and Jack says Brody, just wanted to let you know how much I really enjoyed your presentation this past and he gives the date and the church. I started listening to the no sanity required podcast and I'm looking forward to listening to more of them. So thanks, jack. Appreciate that. Jack is in North Carolina, the Charlotte area, and that's very encouraging. We email him back to Jack and reaching back out to him and encouraging him, lord willing.
Speaker 1:And then there was another. This is from a guy that said you asked for feedback. This is from a brother named Kyle. He said I want to say thanks for all that you guys and gals do at SWO. I listened to the modern Babylon part one and two this morning. Thanks for teaching this lesson about Daniel. It's spot on. It's what I needed to hear.
Speaker 1:And then he goes into the story of one of his children and the fact that that child is now out in the world, an adult daughter who has entered actually into the military, and it's just, it's an encouragement to hear that that. I wanted to share that with you and hopefully Kyle's going to listen to this episode too. That that kind of thing encourages me and encourages our team here. Kyle even suggested maybe dive more into Daniel or lessons like that on how to support our kids as they make choices as adults that maybe we don't really support or dig. So might be good to dive into that and I'm definitely going to take Kyle's thoughts on that and consider them. So thanks Kyle, thanks Jack. Means a lot and it really does. It means so much when we get those encouraging emails and it keeps us going.
Speaker 1:The last one was from a friend and brother named John. He's an older gentleman who just he said John says Brody just wanted you to know how much I'm enjoying the no sanity required podcast these last six to seven weeks. Thank you so much for all the preparation and I think he was especially a lot. I've gotten a lot of good feedback on these last few weeks the two parts on Babylon, spirit of Babylon, and then pornography and biblical manhood. It's been good. So thank y'all for supporting us and listening. Lena, thank you for your email. We will be sharing that next week and I appreciate you so much and I've rambled enough. We're at 50 minutes. That's plenty for most of you. It's probably more than you care to listen to, but anyway, thank y'all for listening, let us know what you think, share this with folks and praying for you as you endeavor to raise sons and daughters that will be raised in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Thank y'all, we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2:Thanks for listening to no Sanity Required. Please take a moment to subscribe and leave a rating. It really helps. Visit us at SWOutfitterscom to see all of our programming and resources, and we'll see you next week on no Sanity Required.