Shawna: 0:01
Welcome to the less stress family podcast where we believe you are valuable and what you do matters.
Justin: 0:12
This is episode number four.
Shawna: 0:15
My name is Shawna.
Justin: 0:16
I'm Justin Wood.
Shawna: 0:19
he makes fun of me because I always say that it just goes together.
Justin: 0:23
Hi, honey. How are you?
Shawna: 0:25
I am doing well. Thank you.
Justin: 0:27
Good. We have an awesome important topic for I would say any family. Uh, even probably without kids. You still need to decide some of these things yourself, but especially four kids. What are we talking about?
Shawna: 0:40
We're talking about technology kids and guilty pair and
Justin: 0:44
guilty parents. I'm no longer feeling guilty.
Shawna: 0:47
That is good. That is good.
Justin: 0:49
I just got over it.
Shawna: 0:51
You got a story for us to get us kicked off.
Justin: 0:54
Yeah, Well, first off, talking about technology, let's define it. I think we're talking about gadgets, right?
Shawna: 0:58
Right. When you
Justin: 0:59
say technology gadgets, right, because I mean,
Shawna: 1:02
technically issue in some kind of technology. A
Justin: 1:06
real technology or a car. Which cars did a lot to change society in a major way? Computers have done a lot, so we're talking about gadgets of any kind.
Shawna: 1:14
So pretty much things with screen screen TVs, computers.
Justin: 1:18
So a couple of couple of quick stories to get us in this mode. Ah, one is our oldest who's almost 14 said, Hey, guys, I would like an Xbox, and we said, Oh, that's awesome. You should get one. But we're not gonna buy one for you, all right? Because it basically said we have a TV. Um, you can do all the streaming stuff Netflix and all that Amazon. And now Disney Plus right
Shawna: 1:44
had one x box.
Justin: 1:46
Oh, yeah,
Shawna: 1:46
he wanted a different.
Justin: 1:47
He wanted the extra new one. Yeah, whatever. So we're like, Okay, that's good. But you have to buy yourself. So he started his own business and he he makes jams and jellies and he would go out, pick blackberries off our
Shawna: 2:03
wild thorny like,
Justin: 2:05
Yeah, this is not the This is not the kind you plant. This is the kind you
Shawna: 2:09
killed July weather in
Justin: 2:10
Kentucky, soaking blood bloody, you know, comes back bleeding from the scratches. And he's done different apples and different kind of things. And so he saved and he would go to you got all different places he could to sell and do what you call those things, like craft fairs or all that kind of stuff, right? And so, yeah, he was able to do that, make some money. And so he went and buys the Xbox, which is awesome. So I enjoy his Xbox. Also, it's It is a good bonding time, right? And so then are. But, um then our fourth son Yes, fourth son. He, um our fourth said he just had a birthday and he got the coolest little gadget E thing. It's like, what, $25 off Amazon, right? It has, like, 400 of the old school Nintendo games from Marty. You can tell my excitement like Mario, all the different Mario is all the contra. I mean
Shawna: 3:06
Donkey, DonkeyKong,
Justin: 3:08
every kind of cool Nintendo game that I never had all the cool ones. Like when I go to a friend's house and all of that game so called jackal Awesome. When I look at him now, I'm like, Oh, yeah, that's the way it was when they compared the new systems anyway, So technology is a part of our kids at a whole different level. Even then then
Shawna: 3:34
Oh, really, That it wasn't were growing up.
Justin: 3:36
Okay, your turn to talk.
Shawna: 3:39
So But as I talked to parents, here's the issue that comes up. There is a lot of parent guilt that is tied in with technology and games and screens and all of that kind of thing. So we were going to talk today just a few minutes, giving you a couple frameworks to be able to process through the use that you have for your own technology. Also your kids technology and hopefully by kind of working through some of these questions. Then you get to a place that you can use technology and feel like the master. Not like you're really screwing your kid up in there. Eyeballs and brain are gonna leak out their eears or whatever. All these things that we've heard about
Justin: 4:21
because it was probably the real problem is your internal conflict. But also it's probably not. It's probably not technology related. It's some other family dynamic that manifest itself through technology issues at times. Okay, but go ahead.
Shawna: 4:39
All right, we're going to start on, not somebody.
Justin: 4:42
Yeah, yeah. Go ahead
Shawna: 4:43
and look. A like the American Academy of Pediatrics currently says that, um infant. So anyone under 18 months of age should not be on any kind of screen except to video chat, which I thought was an interesting little exception. There's the relationship. I think it's the relationship we have. So many parents you know, is particularly our military grandparent's in that thing long distance, then from 2 to 5 years of age, one hour of screen time. But then today, that a day they have even changed what they are saying now. Used to be that they say two hours of screen time for six up, Um, but now they have changed that to parent should set consistent limits and that there should be a balance between screens and other healthy behaviors. So I think that's, you know, an acknowledgment from one of the leading organizations on health in America, you know, saying that we see that we're not gonna be able just to say, Don't let your kids be on screens. And obviously, you know, we've all heard the stories of toddlers who can't stop stack up blocks anymore, but they can swipe and purchase with an app or something
Justin: 6:03
that's a legitimate. There are legitimate problems, so we're not talking about. If your kids addicted to at that level, you need, like real help,
Shawna: 6:13
right? Right. We're just so we're talking about like you already or having times that your child is not on the screen. So they have times. If they're taller than they can stack blocks, they're in grade school. They can, you know, color to play the play outside. So
Justin: 6:31
which I laugh at. But it's really not funny for those who can't, you know, that's really right. That would be hard.
Shawna: 6:39
It would be difficult. Yeah, for sure, for sure. And I think the thing is, it is. We all know that parenting is difficult, and it is easier to in your child some device than to listen to the meltdown and to go through the parenting and Thio. No, it's It's a faster, easier way to do it. So we look att, screen time in kind of a framework, and we put it in one of three categories.
Justin: 7:05
Yes, so the 1st 1 is education, and that could be any kind that's not talking like just school education. There's part of that that's that's education or learning about the system. Are operating systems or um, what are our kids do? Still, Frank? What do you call that? A still frame movie? Things they make.
Shawna: 7:25
Oh, uh uh. Stop frame.
Justin: 7:28
Yeah, it stops. Got stopping information. Yeah. They love to do that with Legos, and it is really cool. We need to post some of those on YouTube again. But But those air educational, I consider their learning a skill. They're learning how to operate a program. But then there's also I mean, you think about how much information you can learn on YouTube or anywhere else, right? And so it's kind of a shame that we have all this technology, and yet a lot of times, we just don't use it to teach and learn, right? So if you can If you know your kids interested in something, you can give them the framework. Hey, for the next whatever time. 30 minutes. Whatever you need to find, sometimes I'll just say that you need to watch something educational. I don't care what you can pick PBS kids or Shark week or whatever. Some man getting my shark, Okay, Nothing like that. But you know what I mean. Just give him a framework. This has to be educational right can pick whatever it is, but it has to be the
Shawna: 8:25
right and some of our older kids have taken. There are a lot of educational programs we home school, so we have some of our curriculum that is actually online. But there's a lot of free learning programs now, even for adults. You can learn all kinds of things. So
Justin: 8:43
instruments for our kids and
Shawna: 8:46
kids have learned to play the guitar, in large part due to an online app.
Justin: 8:51
So I've started in the process. But same time I ran out of time and band with to be like, No, you play the G chord this way, right? But the computer, you can just go back and go back and go
Shawna: 9:02
right and they don't get a patient's issue they
Justin: 9:05
have. The program doesn't get okay,
Shawna: 9:07
so one categories, education. Second category is entertainment, and that's something you know. I mean, I think there's healthy levels that is totally okay. I mean, as adults, we enjoy sitting down and watching a movie on Netflix or, you know, something like that, like it's okay. We all need a healthy level of entertainment in our lives.
Justin: 9:31
right, And I think the more people in your family or the more people that are involved with that entertainment, the better. So if your kid just goes to their room, shuts the door and plays video gangs for four hours without engaging someone and not on the screen, that's not as good, right? But like even our kids with Holy two controllers on 11 has four what it has to, but only two controllers. Guess what? They have to deal with their brothers and sisters. You know what I mean? And so there has to be conflict resolution or I'll yell, Hey, I'm about to turn that off. You can't deal with this right and they have to figure out the solution. So the more people involved, it really does. There's still people dynamics involved,
Shawna: 10:13
right? Right, And then the third way that we see screen time being used is just for baby sitting. And I have to say that, um, when I was very young teacher just out of college, I so poorly judged parents forever like that, I said, I will never put my child just in front of the TV, which at that time was still like VHS and DVD. He's watching Disney movie I am that old. But so here's one of the things that we challenge people to do. Is is it possible? And when we say healthy entertainment, we're not talking about binge watching every friends episode that was ever created, like just straight we're talking about, you know, decide ahead of time. We're gonna do this for an hour or we're gonna do this for 90 minutes and then at the end of that shift and do some activity that's not on a screen, so can you. We all have times that it's more convenient and honestly probably safer in some settings to have our child watch Wild Kratz or Curious George or something like that, because we have another task that needs to be done. But can you tie it in to either being part of that healthy amount of entertainment or something that's educational for them?
Justin: 11:38
I agree,
Shawna: 11:40
and the big so some other questions for you to process through. Not only how do we use it, but how is technology affecting our family? So we have noticed that sometimes there can be more irritation and fighting between our Children. If they've just seen they've had too much screen time. So then we just call for a halt on it, and we have either a time period or a day or something where there's just no screens, we take a break from it. Which leads into the third question is, who is in control? How do you make sure that you were in control of technology? It's not the technology being in control of you.
Justin: 12:18
Yeah, that's a good one, and and practically for us, we have found even with educational screens in the morning. Our kids do so much better when they start the morning, and there's no screens of usually any kind until lunch. Some of them do have some computer based school work in math or algebra stuff that we just would cry if we had to try to teach that our kids would cry and we would crying right, So it's like, Hey, what's this video and do this curriculum and they that fits our kids better. But our kids are kind of like not fun. If they start off straight off with screens,
Shawna: 13:00
we've noticed they're more whiney. They're more argumentative with their siblings
Justin: 13:04
right, And you
Shawna: 13:05
know the same
Justin: 13:06
thing for me if I would wake up and I just start watching TV or YouTube, that is not a good day for me, you know, like, I have to be really sick. You know what I mean? Right? Like there's just not a healthy thing. You get up, you get going, which we've not done upon cast yet about our morning routines. But it's coming. It's coming. So yeah,
Shawna: 13:23
so we're going to wrap this up, but I think one you know, we would, uh, not have done this justice if we did not acknowledge that there are a growing number of people struggling with an addiction to technology and whether that's social media addiction or a gaming addiction. You know, we we need to be aware that these things are powerful and that they can be dangerous. So
Justin: 13:47
I think to those frameworks education, entertaining or baby sitting, you can actually play those to yourself. Are you just baby sitting and, like, mind numbing yourself? Because you don't want to deal with life or entertaining? You know what I mean? Are you actually learning? Is this a business thing or, you know, something that actually making you a better person. And if it's not, you might need to deal with your own self
Shawna: 14:08
right, which is sometimes the most difficult when we have to take that hard look in the mirror. Yes, thank you so much for taking time to tune in, to hang out with us and to talk about some of these complicated issues. Remember, you are valuable and what you do matters. You are also not alone. We would love for you to connect with us and the rest of the less stress family community. You can find us on Facebook. Just look for less stress, family podcast. And on Instagram I'm on There is Shauna Suri. Would h Justin. All right. You have a blessed day. Thank you.