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Welcome to the less stress family podcast, where we believe you are valuable and what you do matters this episode number 16.
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I'm Justin Wood and I am Shauna would How are you, honey?
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I'm good. How are you
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today? I'm great. Good. It's been a great day. It
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has a little bit chilly outside,
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but note earlier. It is a good way. Send the kids out. Yes. So we can record a podcast. That's what we do.
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What are we talking about today?
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Well, first I want to say thank you to everyone who's listening. Yeah, we're hearing awesome feedback.
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Yes. Yeah, you all are fantastic.
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Excuse me yet we batch we batch from different stuff and with our schedule so crazy, we don't really have Ah, podcast day. Necessarily. Right? So we're putting these together at random times, and so it kind of like this even worth it or, you know, whatever. Yeah, So, feedback. It has been so encouraging, So yeah. All right. Today's topic is high and low. Self high or low. Self. What does that mean? High self. Low self? Yes. What are you talking about?
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Okay, well illustrate with this story. So when I was in eighth grade. One day I came home and my mother had purchased in alarm clock for me, and she handed it to me and she said, I will no longer be waking you up in the mornings And I was confused because I did not know why this turn of events had occurred and she said, which I seriously did not remember. I mean, even that afternoon, I had no no memory of it. But she is that I had been so nasty to her when she was trying to wake me up that morning that she was no longer waking me up. So I I say that to say that I am not normally by nature a morning person. I am a nine out. I enjoy cranking stuff out at night. I don't really want to see anyone in the world early in the morning. However, I am now jerked of a business group that meets very early in the morning like 7 a.m. meetings. And the one thing that is kind of a universal comment that people make to me is that I am so perky and happy that early in the morning and I laugh to myself because I know that that is something that I have been super intentional about. It is not something that comes naturally to me, right? So that is what you're talking about. When we're talking about your high self. Your high self is you. When you were just like in the groove in a happy place
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in the zone
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you're in the zone you're doing what you're good at
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is the flow
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And yes, you're operating at a high level The op
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you're still you're not being fair
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not being fake You you hear you
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the best you
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the best version of you. So your low self is the you when you're kind of the opposite of all of that, when you're stressed out when you're feeling frustrated when you're despairing, sick
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when you feel sick
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when you're body is physically low, a lot of times your emotion and your spirit just goes low with it, right? And so the trick is number one. Knowing that there are multiple versions of yourself, it doesn't make you schizophrenic, you know? And I really
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and truly you Yes, it's not. It's Ana. Thank you. Think it's you? Yes. So
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And then after you realize, Oh, there's different versions of myself that are all genuinely knee being able to identify in yourself when you're sliding into that low place,
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right? And like, for example, for May I'm a morning person I know opposite at every level, opposite every level. I'm a morning person. I'm not a night person, right After six o'clock, I'm done, Yes, and so I have learned I don't no one get two examples already, but I have learned I don't need to make important decisions unless it's just like life or death or something. Yes. Ah, it's after six o'clock at night. It's just not my I am in my low self. I'm tired. I've been up for a long time. So
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that is when, with mother's wisdom, I advise our Children to leave you alone.
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I think much have learned that also right.
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Like, don't ask Daddy right now. Talk to him in the morning, right? We're likely to get what you want out of that conversation is
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very true.
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So first understanding there's multiple versions of yourself. Second, being able to self identify when you're sliding into that low self and third realizing that you have a choice to rise back up.
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Right? And it's like a muscle. It's something that has to be developed. You have to develop that skill. And we've been working on this for what? It least five years. Nice of at least. Yes. Hi. Self, low self. And we have to continually I won't say we remind each other, but we kind of do remind each other. Yes, Like, Hey, you know what? And I don't say, Hey, you're in your low self. You just need a rush, you know, I don't know. I am a wise man. I look at all these great hair. I'm definitely a wise man. But I do realize that you know what? Hey, and I'm what you might say something like, Hey, honey, I see you're really tired or I see that you're stressed. Are so you're not feeling well? And so there we go. Yeah, Whether alarm golden kids went outside. They said that some alarm.
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No, just keep going. Okay, Okay, that's it. I'm gonna
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have to edit this. I'm sorry, you guys, you just get the really scary
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It's It's the rial s. So things that you can do to switch from your low self to your high self. One of them for me that's really effective is toe. Look at photographs that make me happy. Eso, for instance. Even in my planner in my calendar, because I'm a little and I carry around a paper calendar. There is a photo of my whole family on vacation in Florida because that makes me smile. Everybody, nobody's fighting. They're all smiling and looking very nice. Another photograph I have That is such a treasure. I just got my dad gave it to me. And it's my parents and my grandfather and my great grandfather. And they're all, like, huddled around me, smiling when I'm a baby.
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Boring. You
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adoring me
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as it should be.
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Should be Absolutely so that makes my heart so happy. Just Lizzie, That makes me smile
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and music, right? Yes, Uh, music can send you either way. Right, Cindy, To melancholy gets in you into sadness. It continue into happiness. Our kids love they think, um m c Hammer can't touch this. I think that's a top 10 on the billboard
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charts today. And even like that song happy.
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Yeah, yeah,
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yeah. So upbeat music can help shift you. You know, a lot of people have, like, their favorite podcast list or not podcast list, but playlist for when they're going to work out and kind of pumps him up. It's that same idea, right? Walking in nature is one for a lot of people that can help raise them up into their high self. Also, I have a special dresser and in the very front of it have all not all, ah, lot of love notes from mortar. So for my Children and my husband, he's not so much on expressing love that way. But it's still, you know, you open up the little paper and they've John. Mommy is a stick figure and stability name wrong and everything else. But that makes me
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Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, for me having some idea what the day is gonna be like and just going through the day in my mind is a good way for me to be proactive. It's It's
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sort of
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like being product. It's a very proactive kind of thing. If you wanna be in your high self, yes, you have to be proactive about it. It's not just gonna happen usually
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well, and that's what I think. If you want to be in your high self on a regular basis, you have to be proactive. Otherwise, just like I don't know what's in the cards for the day
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exactly. But it is a muscle that it isn't so sure,
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yes. And as you pointed out earlier, you know things to be aware of its not a good time to make a major decision when you're in your low self,
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right? Yes, we have learned this is so big. We don't make money choices, big purchase choices. We don't talk about
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major life changes.
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Yes, when you know, in the and so that leads into you know that at night when you're just starting it cranked up. I am starting to crank down. Yes, so we haven't had to learn. Don't bring up those conversations right then, right? It's not that they're bad or wrong, right, But it's like it just doesn't benefit us because we're gonna end up arguing because that's what happens because I am not in the mood Or, you know, how many times when we first got married, you know where we were first married in the mornings, I would come in. Just
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you were like, What is wrong with you?
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Right, Right, Right. So we've learned that. And so that applies also with your kids. Right? Find out. Hi, Low self. Um, you know, if they've had a math class, you know, their math class or whatever is rough. Whatever. Don't bring up stuff right after that class, right, Right. That's your last class today, and it's hard like, don't. There's a rhythm to some of the high, low self times a day sickness, whatever. And then there's sometimes you just have to keep pressing on right. It doesn't mean you get the bail out.
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Doesn't mean you get to quit like I'm in the low self.
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So let's talk about that. What do you do when you're in low Self? If you're going to speak in the mornings right, you will listen to something positive. You think positive things. You'll think about what you're thankful for. You look at those pictures. Yes, and it's not that you're being fake, but as a result of those things,
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it nurtures my spirit exact so that when I actually opened up the car door and I show up then I'm fully in the place and the person that I want to be
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right? Exactly.
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And there are times did you cannot manipulate that like No, I have the experience. One of our kiddos was having surgery, and foolishly, I thought, Well, I got three hours before surgery. I could go hit a business meeting, which is just stupid. F y I
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Why would, But what do you mean? Why was this David?
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Because that was so stressful. And I had so much anxiety about it,
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about the surgery,
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about the surgery, that when I showed up for the business meeting people
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about your own drugs,
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trying to smile, and I had, like, tear stains where I had cried on the car ride in, right, you know, So just being unaware to and have realistic expectations for yourself. So no amount of happy music is going to change it. If you feel totally anxious, that's
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right. And so you probably need
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replaying your schedule
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for you. Yeah, If you can do what you can go for a walk. So you're in your low self, right? Let's talk about evening at night. Yes, for May? Yes. That's my low self time again. We use an example, right? Not that That's the only time I get the low. So I wish it was only after 6 p.m. But what do I do? Or how did you handle me? If I'm in my load, You know that I'm like, I'm just done right. What do you do?
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I just like to see
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these are not
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on the notes. You really are off the paper now, people, um so seriously, my expectations for you and our relationship are minimal. Right That point. Like I'm like, he's the second potatoes, and that's all I can expect. Exactly. But tomorrow is a new day, and then we can engage, which is funny.
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I've never thought about that kind of way. I think of you in the morning, usually around here, she's a sack of potatoes. Let the potatoes set in the corner until I get happy.
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That really decreases stress on everybody's love. You expected? Because I don't have this weird expectation on me that I'm going to be a star performer Super early in the morning, right? And you know, I'm not having you know, a lot of times we have stress When reality doesn't mean our expectations, for sure. So if my expectation is a sack of potatoes, you're probably not gonna disappoint you.
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Remember that, honey, Just remember that. Yeah, you're
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right. But that decreases my own stress level. Like this isn't the time that he
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didn't Exactly. It makes you prioritize. What do you really need to talk about? Or you know what I mean? Yes. Like sometimes I bring up stuff or you bring him stuff. It's not really that important, right? But it can be stressful. Yeah, it could be stressful bringing up right. It's not like the other world I've noticed with our kids. We've we've implemented morning routines beginning of this year. We took it to the next level we did about a year issue mean it wasn't timed. We did a year of pretty. Now we've done more than a year. A pretty scheduled, but don't include exercise last year, right? And this year it's leaving more intense exercise and everything else. Have you noticed? How are kids who wake up have a hard time waking up in their low self but hit that routine? They don't think, and literally after 30 minutes, they are in their high self. I would say, Yeah, have you noticed that, right? It's pretty crazy.
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It's kind of nice, because then they don't They're not expected to engage their brain right
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when they're waking, right, Right. So I think that helps. So your kids, high and low self tried to be aware and just say, you know, especially if they can. You can teach them the older ones how to say, uh what? I'm really struggling here. I'm wiped out
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right? That self awareness. Gosh, if you can give self awareness to your Children, that is like handing them a diamond for the future. I
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got anything else in that piece of paper.
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I think that we hit most of the points on our paper and several that we're not on our paper today.
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Yeah, I wish people would see a paper because it makes no sense. It's just just a few Djibouti Jeopardy notes.
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So the again just to recap, we're talking about high self, low self. They're both very authentic versions of you, but the thing that could be a game changer is recognizing when you're sliding into your low self and knowing how you can rise back up so that you can live your life in that hire more happy state of being.
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I will say this. They're sometimes like, Ah, morning. This week I got him her routine did for like, I was probably till 10 o'clock in the morning. A few things happened and I was in my low self em and I realized, Wait, I see what's going on here. I mean, my low self. So then I kind of backed up. I went for a walk. I did a few more things in, like, 30 minutes. I was back to high self right, which was crazy. Yeah, I was like,
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How did
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that happen? It was a little I didn't blow up on anybody. You know, all those things. You weren't here just me and the six kids, But I was like, I don't see how this happened, but I really did Just use that muscle toe like shift things right? It was all in me,
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so proud of, you
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know, no good. If you were here, you would have really been.
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Thank you so much for taking time to tune in and hang out with us. Remember, you are valuable and what you do matters. You are also not alone. We would love for you to connect with us and the rest of the less stress family community on Facebook. You can search for less stress, family podcast, or you can reach out and connect with us on our personal instagram accounts. I am
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Shauna Cherie. Would Justin Ray would wait.
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Oh, yeah, we do. And there's a website. L s f podcast dot
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com. You all have a blessed day. Thank you.