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well, Theo. Family podcast where we believe you all fallible and what you do matters

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Thistles Episode 30 I am Justin Wood

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and I am Shauna would

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How are you, honey?

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Good. How are you today?

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I'm awesome. Have a great book to review today.

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I love all capital letters. Love this book.

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Why do you love this book? It's called his brain. Her Brain

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by Walt's Layer More indie and Barb Larry Moore.

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Why do you like this book so much?

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I love this book because it explains the mysteries of the universe.

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Sort of does I feel like I feel like I have to read this book. You You realize that I was not lying to you? Old time?

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I know. Like we're gonna shares a major major marriage relationship breakthroughs. But it goes deeper than that for anyone who is male or female and interacts with anyone of the opposite gender. This book is a must read,

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Right? Right, right. I definitely rank it 10 on 10. As far as just giving you a grid practical. I tell you what. I don't know what year this was was.

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It's probably got it

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I would love. Yeah, I would love to see. This is 2008.

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We got,

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I'm sure. Yeah, Not early enough, but really 2008 So Yeah, go ahead.

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Okay. I'm just saying I'm going to share a story, but I feel like it's a universal truth. I feel like most men and women have had this conversation at some point. This is how the conversation goes.

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I'm gonna pour me some coffee, Okay?

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Okay. The woman says, What are you thinking about, honey? And the man says nothing. And the woman's thinks he must be mad at me.

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And that is a no good dirty liar.

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He is a no good dirty liar because he is not telling me what he is thinking about

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the deepest secrets of his heart or something.

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Because here's the reality. If you ask me, what are you thinking about? And I say nothing. It means I am so mad at you right now. But I am not ready to divulge

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the reasons why I'm a fire hydrant once it all comes out.

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Yes, and I'm still processing it right in the meantime.

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So what about a man, though?

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So here's this is like, this is secret of the universe. Breakthrough information people and you heard it first year on the family podcast. Unless you've already read this book. So literally looking at this book looks at the science of the brain of the female brain and of the male brain. And then it takes those studies the actual, you know, scientific evidence based on the brain. And then it, like, tells you have this plays out in real life. And here's the deal. A man can literally be not thinking about anything,

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so we think about nothing. At times

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it is possible for you.

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Of course, it is not possible telling you that our whole marriage, what do you think about Nothing.

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And I'm like he is a liar. Why does he not tell me what he is thinking about? Because they

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haven't got that book

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they have done. All these skins and men's brains can literally rest.

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It's like a computer. It's It could be used for brilliant things, but it also has a sleep mode,

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and a woman's computer does not have sleep mode. And I only have, like six APs open at all times least did.

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I've seen your phone, your phone. You'll have 20 APS open once it drives me crazy.

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It is a picture of my brain.

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It is.

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So that was the first. Like I was like that just totally cleared up a relationship issue. Right?

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Right. It did. It really helped us. So the problem is, our brains are physically and chemically different. Science is showing this in so many different ways, right? I'm sure there's updates even now and then, but but going through. And I think one cool thing they did is you have all this data and very much scientific terminology. Right? But there is there. Have you have to have with all that data interpretation, What does that look like? Practically. And you're right. You are. You said that they take it and they make it a little bit more practical, right? Of how that comes about in normal day to day life. And that's that. I feel like that's where the rubber meets the road. And that's why this book is so awesome. Yes, because I know now that we're even more different in a lot of ways. Then we realized before Yes, you can appreciate that. You know what I mean? Yeah, I appreciate that.

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And I like that because this is a husband and wife writing. And I believe he is a medical doctor and she's a nurse. I think it's been a while since I've read it. Um, but the subtitle is how divinely designed differences can strengthen your marriage. And so it's not one of these books that's like a competition between the sexes of who is

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right. It's a compliment.

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Listen, your brain is designed to do these things. My brain is designed to do these things, and we can use them tow, have a better team if we can appreciate each other's

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backs. And if you wanna be stressed, though, I don't know the differences between male and female Marines. And again, I'm sure there's variation between men, a group of man, you know? Yeah, and there s so there's there still variations in there in that way. But if you want to be stressed out with your spouse or any other opposite sex relationship, right, right, don't know and don't recognize or respect or honor the differences, so that will lead you to a negative place, probably. Yeah.

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So this book is so good and it hits so many different things were only going to talk about one chapter. And then I just highly recommend that everybody gets this book. I don't know if it's at the library, not but it's worth the investment. And then after you read it, you can pass it on to another couple that, you know.

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So you're gonna read Chapter three differences and how we perceive our world Not you're not gonna read it, but she reads,

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I'm just going to read a quote, Okay? So women can see colors and textures that men cannot see. They hear things that men cannot hear, and they smell things that men cannot smell. Can I just tell you, is the mother of multiple boys? I'm just saying that statement alone. I think they can't even smell the stink. I think that's why men smell worse than women.

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I have a funny story about that. Okay. Remember one time at night in the boy's room when they were in that room back there, you were like, Oh, my gosh, we got a gas leak. We've got some kind of problem and we don't have a gas. We don't have any gas in this house. right. So I wasn't really worried about that. But I was like, maybe there's a wire that's burning or you know what I mean? Like, I didn't know what the deal was. So you were like, I can't believe there's something wrong here. And you grabbed me. And I'm like, I'm starting to get a little that urgent. You know, like, uh maybe something. I'd better turn on my man skills here, you know, whatever. Open up the door. I walk around. I'm like, Okay. And I walk out and you're like, Well, what do you think it is? That's like, honey, that is just the stench of boys that is just body odor, right?

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Had the doors

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on the room's just right.

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And then we were going through doing like the night chick on

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every time you open

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them up. And I was like,

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Oh, panic, panic

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odor Must being something is terribly wrong. Oh, my. Okay, so looking at it like they go through and they're looking at all the different sentences. So, for example, men and women perceive color differently as faras women tend to have a lot more. They can see more colors than men can see. So, for example, like if a man looks at a rainbow, they'll probably only see, like, seven colors. But a lot of women can see, like averages out to 10 different colors in that. Like when you're trying to paint your bedroom and the wife

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Are these clothes match? Do these clothes match

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like obviously, they do not match? How could you even ask that question? Or if I bring home six different shades of blue and I'm like which paint color do you like the best,

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right? I'll like it talks about I think that man can see I can see a darker blue or lighter blue. What? I can't see a different color, right? You know what I mean? And so it's so

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true, Like, little bit more. Yeah,

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that you should I don't know. What you should do is, you know, I mean, like like, it's seriously goes through the whole little section there about colors alone.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then it talks about So you've got the color thing. But then you've also got perception the way our brains perceive the like, the vision. So here's example. So men have better long distance vision, but women have more peripheral vision. So what that means is practically practically

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when you tell me to go look in the refrigerator, don't they tell a story here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to read that? One of you must tell.

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Okay, so it says early in our marriage, I was convinced Barb could do magic producing the items I was searching for. Apparently out of thin air, whether in the refrigerator, my desk or my workbench shop's AM presto screwdrivers, dental floss, a stick of butter, car keys, wallets. Through the years, they've always been there. I just can't see them. And Barb can. With her better peripheral and color vision, she can see the entire contents of the refrigerator without moving her head. With my tunnel vision, I have to move my head or eyes up and down all around to locate a missing object.

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Now, thankfully, we have me plus five boys in the house when it is frustrating. But now, honestly, with this I have a grid.

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I know.

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Hey, guys, Go grab the screwdriver. I need the Phillips screwdriver. That's this size, right? They're gonna be gone for 10 minutes. Yes, because they can't visually pick through all that. Yeah, I know where I leave it. Usually, you know what I mean? Like, I know the place location, but I know the same thing with a fridge. I have to go item by item, line by line. It's like I'm reading. It's like I'm reading. Ah, some other script from some of the language.

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Do you know what cracks me up? This is why women get phone calls when they're away from home from some male in the house. Who's like, Where's the butter? Yeah, like it's in the stinkin referring raydor. Look behind X on. You know, the middle row or whatever, Right? Right. Oh, my goodness. Cracking me up. So it's not okay. So, honestly, I thought it was like a laziness issue.

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Yeah, you did. And the anger followed.

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Like, don't be so lazy. I'm not the only person that has to do this kind of thing.

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Then the speech. I am the only one that presidents have to do this. Go ahead.

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Okay, so here's another super practical way that that plays out Is that if it is, I feel like this is kind of common scenario where you'll be out someplace, and there would be an attractive and typically in the story it's an attractive female. Walks by. The man turns his head to see the attractive female. And the woman that he is with, you know, lashes out. It's a four man, I know. So it's like, OK, well, legitimately nobody wants to feel like you're looking at somebody else. But here's the reality of it. A woman could have an attractive man walked by, totally see him with her peripheral vision without moving her head right. The man sees the woman has to move his neck, his head in order to, you know, get a look. And the woman he's with with her fantastic peripheral vision always catches it

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right, right, right. And I go through that right They

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they use. That is an example. And so, you know, it's like I don't know, this just It was an answer for so many different things between men and women, and it rewrote the story because, as always, like it's the story that we tell ourselves becomes our reality,

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right? Yes.

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So if the story I'm telling myself is, well, he doesn't he's not really into me because he just looked at this other woman. That's very different from me thinking, poor guy, he just can't see Well, because there was a hot guy that just walked by behind him and I checked him

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out, right, You know that

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I'm checking out hot guys just to clarify So but here's here's the flip side of that. The flip side is that men with their long distance vision do a lot better driving at night. They can see like they don't have the color thing, but the black and white and the light and that kind of thing. So in a nine time driving situation, men are better. It also explains why, like to toe one little boys get hit. Um, if they're like crossing a road or something.

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Oh, yeah, girls believe

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just because crazy takers, but because they literally don't have the proof. Real

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vision that makes

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things the cars coming

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and it makes so much sense about cute boys behavior. I really need to read it. Re read that book. That's been a while. Yeah, but our boys behavior, they can't see stuff like, What are you doing? And you just ran over him. Well, I didn't know that he was standing right there, but yeah, vision Waas. So

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Okay, and here's one other one, and then we're gonna have to wrap up hearing. So a women, you will thank me for this. Do not even attempt to talk to any mail while they have the TV on.

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Oh, yeah, because

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they cannot process it. And it's not because they're being a jerk. And they just think that basketball is more important than you. They literally their brain cannot process multiple audio inputs, right? So whereas a woman could be processing the TV, somebody on the phone, a conversation with the kid, all of these different inputs at the same time a man's brain was not designed

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that we can only compartment I could Yeah, yeah.

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So which, you know, like, if you were in a war situation or something, you need to be ableto have that total focus. So it serves men well in some scenarios

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in some.

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But in other scenarios, we just have to have patience with you because

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we're not like you

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may. So anyway, guys, this is so good. Those, like tiny little tidbits from the

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from one little chapter

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from one little chapter of highly highly recommend it. And I think even, like particularly fathers with lots of daughters or moms with like, it'll just add a whole nother level of compassion for

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your Children, right? Maybe

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so. The problem is, we're different. And the solution is appreciating those differences and realizing that as a team were better because bringing

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Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. That's good, honey. All

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right, you all check out the book. His brain, her brain. Thank you for tuning in with us and hanging out. Remember, you are valuable and what you do matters, you're also not alone. We would love for you to connect with us and the rest of less stress family community on our website. L s f podcast dot com on Facebook by searching for less stress, family podcast and our personal instagram accounts. Shauna Cherie wood A e r

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e. And Justin Ray would say I was paying attention. Good job. All right. You have a blessed day. Thank you.