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well, Thio family podcast where we believe you all fallible and what you do matters thing

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Number 33. I am Justin Wood

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and I am Shauna would

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How are you, honey?

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I'm doing well. How are you today?

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I am great. The sun is shining outside. It's very nice.

spk_0:   0:35
Yes, thank you guys. So much for tuning in and listening with us. We appreciate it. When we asked you what topics to talk about. Lots of people responded that they had questions about chores and home maintenance and that kind of thing. So we are diving into what? Today

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we're gonna talk about basically the secret of your success, which is paying your kids.

spk_0:   0:59
Okay. And

spk_1:   1:00
this is a piggyback off of episode 32. And you should check that one out, too, because we talk about logistics. And this is definitely a big part of logistics. And it's taken us a while to figure out a system when you say it's taken a while. But I think our system works amazingly well. Right?

spk_0:   1:17
Right, right, right. Because I think if anyone will tell you who has Children, it is different to maintain a clean home when you have Children versus when you don't have Children.

spk_1:   1:29
Oh, my. Yes,

spk_0:   1:30
But it is possible to leverage all those extra hands in the house.

spk_1:   1:35
Oh, yeah.

spk_0:   1:36
To work to your benefit. They're not just there to be dirty and make more messes. They're there to learn how to clean up a CZ. Well,

spk_1:   1:42
right. And I think you have to shift. Was we start talking about this from I have to do all this to I have to train the next generation. We kind of talked about that in last podcast.

spk_0:   1:53
And I think you know, these ideas actually apply in the workforce because you really if you're a parent, you need to see yourself as a manager

spk_1:   2:02
and a leader,

spk_0:   2:03
and I'm really,

spk_1:   2:03
really a leader.

spk_0:   2:04
And you want to reproduce yourself.

spk_1:   2:07
So you manage stuff, right? But you lead people, right, right? And so that's kind of that's really what you're doing here, right? And even if it's you don't have kids at home, you still have a team toe lead, probably right? Or somebody that you lied at work.

spk_0:   2:22
And I see this even when we have our Children at my in loss and and their cousins are all over there. So that's 11 Children between the ages of four and 14 and the grand parents. They do a really good job of leading them, right. They don't just let them come and trash everything right. They let them come and trash and then pick up right?

spk_1:   2:43
Yeah, they get cracked the whip. But it's again. You get a motivator, you get a move all you get a moving into what they can do, right, and it's really cool,

spk_0:   2:54
right? So a story for today is that we is part of our chore process. We actually, at some point I had written out, like all of the different tours that have to happen to maintain our

spk_1:   3:11
so that we don't kill each other in our kids,

spk_0:   3:13
right? Right.

spk_1:   3:13
And that's halfway joking.

spk_0:   3:16
And then So we looked at all of yours that had happened. And then we looked at skill sets required. Okay, So generally I shared in another podcast. We we typically have the youngest person in charge of wiping off the table after a meal because it couldn't be done, you know, without a whole lot of skill. And even if it's done terribly, it's a good starter tour for them,

spk_1:   3:39
and they take pride in that.

spk_0:   3:41
Yes, And then, you know, they learn and they get better and they graduate to other chores. So we have looked at two of the most complicated tours. One is maintaining the clean kitchen primary focus dishes, and the other is maintaining the clean laundry, which is primarily folding and separating and sorting. Right? And so we just kind of randomly we knew we had our two oldest Children could do either those. They had the skill set to be able to do either one, and so we put them in positions. And then there was quite a bit of complaining about that. So we swapped them and we said, OK, if you don't like that and you don't like that, we'll let you trade. And that was quasi comical. The results, Because one child who is really into, um, the details of things and ah, more sensitive personality got totally overwhelmed by the nonstop dirty dishes,

spk_1:   4:50
right? Yeah, you got shut down.

spk_0:   4:52
He Yeah, like it was like multiple nights in a row. We were trying to do coaching and that kind of thing, and he just went to an emotional meltdown, right? So then we offered the option. Hey, do you want to switch back? And they have been in those switchback positions now for well over a year. Um and so I think the takeaway there and the other son was like whatever. He's a more laid back personality. He was like, I'll do whatever needs to be done. Um, is that first you need Look at what jobs need it happen? Then you need to look at which child or Children have which skill sets. But then you also need a look at personalities,

spk_1:   5:35
right? Yeah, for sure. And the other thing we haven't said yet is they get paid. They make some pretty good money doing these chores. Yes, so we kind of have it like, don't say we have a bid system, But it's kind of like that. It's like here's the chore that needs to be done. Here's what we're paying. Do you want to do it? Yes or no? And they have the option to be like, No, I don't want to do that. Your and they I think maybe one month one of the kids, or half a month and anyone. He sees what his other brothers are making. Three younger kids are like, Oh, wait, can I have my job back, please? Because we're like, Listen, if you don't do it, I'm gonna do it, and I'm going to get paid to do it right. That's what I just tell them, because that's what's gonna happen, right? I'll do that. Your they don't have to. You can play or do whatever. Um, but they

spk_0:   6:22
they're smart kids. Yes, and when we talk about being paid, so we do use actual cash as a payment amount, and it varies like our oldest to who do those really big jobs make more than the middle, too, who also have jobs that have to happen to make our life flow smoothly. But it's not as labor intensive, and then the little, too. We give them some amount of money, right, but their jobs are obviously much easier to do. Don't requires much effort, so, but in addition to that,

spk_1:   7:00
yeah, so we have those core jobs to basically like dishes in the kitchen. Arliss one does a lot of work. He does a lot of work in the other day. He's kind of he had a rough, you know, He just He was just It was not a good day, you know, he wasn't having He wasn't in his eye self. I was like, Look, dude, do you want this job or not? Like, cause, you know, you don't have to do it. And he came back and he's like, No, you know, I want to do this, you know? So it was just It was good to treat him like, almost like an employee, in the sense of like, Hey, do you want in or not? Right, Because if you don't, it's OK. I'll put it up for bid. Your brother take it and they'll calculate Oh, my goodness. Because they buy a lot of stuff with you with the money they make right? So that's a good thing. Um,

spk_0:   7:41
but then we also pay them in other ways.

spk_1:   7:43
Yes,

spk_0:   7:44
and I think this is a key to know how your Children are motivated.

spk_1:   7:48
Right? Right, right.

spk_0:   7:49
So, like, in addition to an actual allowance, there are some things that just have toe happen. And until they happen, no one can have screen time,

spk_1:   7:59
right? Right. Exactly.

spk_0:   8:00
Because they're motivated to want to play whatever devices, and so there's kind of like this minimum of If you want to have these privileges, this has to be done. And then there's this other layer of. If you want to earn this money, these things have to be done right. But then we have sometimes big chores. Write that are not the usual day to day for sure, but we need all hands on deck to get these things done quickly.

spk_1:   8:28
It is a beautiful thing when I say, Hey, guys, um, the blue baize or whatever the garden or whatever the yard needs to be mowed or whatever, and I'll say I will pay two hours of screen time or I'll play, you know, whatever. I just make up a number, but whatever needs to be done and they're out the door because because part of it they taking their money and bought two new Xbox is right, right? So we have two X boxes in the house, and it's great for us because that's that's technology that we can leverage for our family basically, and they're happy right there, happy to go out and do to get paid because it's Ganz the whole reward system, and I feel like we're really teach them about adulthood. You know? Right? It's like because, like, hey, guys, we goto we do work so that we can get paid right? You're doing this work so that you could get paid in your own way,

spk_0:   9:17
right? Yeah. So I think it's important to recognize, because there have been times that we've had a child who was like, Whatever. I don't want to keep it. You know, with the money generally only last until the next allowance there, the one that doesn't get paying

spk_1:   9:32
money. The cash is on the table, the eight year old making it rain. And there he loves the legal, the smack his money

spk_0:   9:38
like to pay in one's. Yes, there's, You know, it's a psychology is, um, but, you know, maybe that's not what your child is wired for. Maybe what really motivates your child is to be able. Thio, you know, have some special privilege that you know what it is that's unique to your family or whatever.

spk_1:   10:01
For us, it's money, money and screen them

spk_0:   10:04
money and screen time.

spk_1:   10:05
Yeah, that's our currency that we pay out.

spk_0:   10:07
But I think It's important. You know, there could be, like, a special activity or something like that. Like, you know what motivates your kids. And so to realize that being paid a currency doesn't always mean cash.

spk_1:   10:22
Right? For sure,

spk_0:   10:23
it could mean, you know, like there been times were like, if this house isn't picked up, then you can't bring any friends over.

spk_1:   10:29
Right? Right? Right. And that's you.

spk_0:   10:31
And we were serious about that,

spk_1:   10:34
right? And as long as you're saying that's the thing to you have to back up what you say you're gonna do,

spk_0:   10:39
right? So we're not just threatening anything that we're not willing to do.

spk_1:   10:43
Yeah, so let's go back to this. Back to car notes Here. So what is the alarms going off? Sorry, s So what is the problem? The problem is, when your kids aren't motivated, your life is going to be miserable as apparent, right? Just same way at work. If your team's not motivated, if whoever is not motivated, you're gonna be it's gonna be like pulling teeth all the time.

spk_0:   11:07
And nobody wants to be that person who, you know,

spk_1:   11:12
it's like dragging a dead body. Yes. You know, that's a little. It's a yucky feeling in your home. If you can't get your team on board right, which means you haven't led them. That's what it boils down to. You have. You got to manage this stuff, but you got to lead them and you got to find out how to do that right? And that takes a little time, a little relationship building, and for us, it's Xbox.

spk_0:   11:36
So when your kids aren't motivated like they just will wear you down, you'll find yourself in that hole like I feel like a broken record. You know, nobody, whatever it is

spk_1:   11:48
And the jerk that.

spk_0:   11:49
Yeah, eyes that. Yeah, so Monster will appear jerk. Dad will appear and then, you know often I mean, I had the experience where I would be frustrated, and so I was like, Forget it. I'm just gonna do it myself. Well, that only made me more mom

spk_1:   12:07
stuff. Oh, yeah, because you end up burning more of your energy and your you realize you're not They're not learning the lesson like that's That's the thing when they're not learning, I think that's when I get, like, really frustrated, you know, right, Because I'm doing all this work, and they're not learning. And I'm I'm creating a spoiled child, right? That does not make me happy Person.

spk_0:   12:29
Right? Right. And I think the other thing, you know as faras motivating your Children is acknowledging how much this is a team effort. Their participation.

spk_1:   12:41
Exactly. And you praise them as much as you can once you, you know, you keep. You know, when they start out, they do a halfway 50% job. You like. Good. That's really good. Start. And then next time, you maybe show them something else, right? And then you show them something else. So, like, they know how to do laundry. And I went through some time last week. I was like, Listen, maybe we for gotten what I want this laundry area to look like. And I was like, It needs to look like this. And I basically said no one's getting screen time until you all know this is what it looks like. Right? Right. So I put that out there, Right? Well, then last night, laundry was done. It was probably 9 10 loads of laundry. Ah, that have been left for a couple of days Because of just life happening. It's like, Okay, you only put this up. They didn't do it like they did it About 90%. But I said, this is what I want. This is my expectation, right? And so I even though I was like, I don't wanna be a jerk about this But I was like, You know what? I need to enforce this. Right? So they lost screen time most of when they usually get it right. Hearts were sad, right? Hearts were sad, but I kind of said Okay, listen, everybody's done a good job this afternoon. I have not heard bad attitudes or no one was like, Oh, you did well, But you know none of that. And so I was like, OK, l can watch. You can do a little screen time, right? So I kind of I don't know. What do you think of that? Okay,

spk_0:   14:12
I think that was good. I mean, you maintain the country Chueh shin, right? So if you want to be a generous person,

spk_1:   14:21
but they is amazing how good it looks right when you see when you consider that's a four to a 14 year old who don't who did all that work, You know what I mean is like that. It's really good.

spk_0:   14:33
Yeah, So I think, you know, And And we have a friend who took a picture of a room when it looked absolutely perfect and she showed her kids, and she's like when the job is done, This is what this room looks like, right? So that they have that visual. There's a lot of teaching and a lot of modeling and a lot of repeating on and again, you know, that whole You have to inspect whatever you expect, right kind of thing, but that I think, you know, motivating your kids with some kind of payment is, you know, a big piece of it. But then also, you know, just that encouraging words to them and letting them know Guys, we are in this together. We are a team and Daddy and I couldn't do it alone. Like we we need you guys to participate in this, and I think that gives them a lot of self respect. If they understand, you know the importance and how much we value them. We're not like all you do is sweep. No, no, no. That makes our living room looks so much better, right when you do a good job.

spk_1:   15:40
So right, right, right. Yeah, for sure.

spk_0:   15:43
So for those of you who at our chore, um, kind of secrets or guidelines or anything like that, I hope that that was helpful for you. We would love more feedback from you guys. What else would be really helpful for you To decrease your stress? Let us know you can be in contact with us on Facebook page that we have or on our website. L s f podcast dot com. You can reach out to us on our personal instagram accounts and we want you to know at the end of the day, you are valuable and what you do matters.

spk_1:   16:21
Thank you all

spk_0:   16:22
have a blessed day.