spk_1:   0:00
Well, Thio family podcast where we believe you all fallible and what you do matters

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things. Episode number 43. I am Justin Wood,

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and I am

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Shauna would How are you, honey?

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I'm okay. How are you?

spk_0:   0:32
I'm good. I think we're just broadcasting now for our own therapy sessions.

spk_1:   0:37
Good beach.

spk_0:   0:38
You're laughing, but, yeah, I think, um, yeah, we're in the middle of the cove. It stuff, and yeah, we're making it.

spk_1:   0:47
So we're gonna talk today about emotionally processing the covert crisis?

spk_0:   0:53
Yeah, or just life. But this applies to any any

spk_1:   0:57
any season of life. Especially

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if you're one of those people who take your emotions and put them and the box. Yeah, for whatever. Yeah, So some people do that. Okay. So what triggered this? Ah, this little conversation we're about to have.

spk_1:   1:12
So I have been increasingly concerned as it where we are, you know, there's not, um you can't if someone passes. They're not allowed to have. What is the normal cultural funeral in grieving experience? Right. Closure. Um and so now it's almost turned to where it's just on Facebook. Someone posts, please. Pro for my family. We lost this person and I was on Facebook not very long, like I want to say, like 10 or 15 minutes and three different people had had a loss in their family. And I responded with, you know, thinking about you guys prayers for your family, that kind of thing. But in my mind, I was processing. Am I just becoming like a callous robot that I don't have this huge emotional response? As I'm hearing about people losing family members?

spk_0:   2:14
It's a good question. Are you becoming a robot?

spk_1:   2:17
So I But

spk_0:   2:18
here is also the thing. Your grandfather's past Your grandmother just passed those the ones you love dearly. You know, your grand parents. So that's been, what, three or four months, I guess they passed in five months.

spk_1:   2:29
Um, no, just in the last couple of months. And so yeah, great Mom was three months ago. Grandpop was just within the last month, and I think not even being able to really fully engage in that

spk_0:   2:43
in that closure

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closure, just saying OK, we're going to do this after this epidemic in crisis passes. Then we'll get together and we'll process it right? So I think there was part of me. That's like, okay. Won't take all those must take him in the box and put him on the shelf with them later.

spk_0:   3:01
So let's talk about, um unless Unless you're like, unless you're in battle, right? Or unless you're, like an emergency response person. Most of us don't have to deal with just not dealing with our emotions. You know, within that time, period, most healthy people, you know what I mean. But now we're kind of in this crisis or whatever. This is where you can't really deal with your emotions in a traditional, culturally appropriate way.

spk_1:   3:27
And I think you know the same with bat, like making that analogy with the first responders and the people in the military is we're not accustomed to that much death.

spk_0:   3:35
Right, Right, right, right, right.

spk_1:   3:36
And so you know, and I would actually this morning I got a message about a very, very close friend who had a loss, and I just started immediately crying, right. And it did not feel good just to be crying cause I was grieving for this person. But afterwards there was part of me that was like, Okay, I haven't just turned into a calendar like I still in processing. I'm still empathetic you,

spk_0:   4:01
right, Right, Which is good. Yeah.

spk_1:   4:03
So then we started talking about all the different emotions that we've had in reaction and in response to the quarantine and the economic disruption in all of this beyond just the health side.

spk_0:   4:19
Right. So we know, you know, obviously, people are dying from this, and then people aren't getting maybe the medical attention they probably need Right now, you know, people aren't getting check ups. And, you know, I have a friend who has Keith, who has cancer, and, you know, he's just going through a really hard tom. And so we know people whose business is air going through really, really brutal. Are they gonna make it through kind of time? This is like, you know, some of our generations of businesses, right? You know who they've had the small business not just for their family's income and wellness, but for, like, they really enjoy having employees and just helping those families. That's how they say, you know, and so they're getting wiped out right now. We don't know what's happened, right? Really. But it's a lot. That's a lot to emotionally process. So what are some of your emotions you have shoved in a box? Besides, besides just death, um, which is a big one, obviously. Right. But what else?

spk_1:   5:17
Well, and it's been such a mixed bag because, like I've been, I've felt angry at times. But I just want to go and do my normal life,

spk_0:   5:26
right, Right.

spk_1:   5:27
But then on the flip side, like when our 12 year old was like Mom, it's been great having you home.

spk_0:   5:33
So, you know,

spk_1:   5:34
it was like, Oh, my goodness, like is there's good sides, you know, like I love that I love that I walked out from a business meeting that I otherwise would have had to drive several hours to write, and instead I walked up of one room into another room and our four year old came up, and he's like, I wrote you a new love and sing a song. And I love that you make me feel warm and fuzzy

spk_0:   6:02
about that kid s Oh, yeah, that's definitely I mean, I've definitely been ticked off, and some of it is just with you all because you're so loud and noisy, like all the time. My rhythms of like, Okay, I can have some quiet in this house with eight people has been disrupted, right? So that's war on my nerves. And so I feel like a hand came to a head Easter weekend. No waken laugh about it now, but it's just like it's just lots of new stresses. And, you know, it's just like getting new parent issues. You just get, you know, rub your foot the wrong way and get blisters. You know, when you go out to run or whatever. So I feel like there's lots of sore blisters. I mean, just in the routines of life, much less the important, you know, life or death things. Yeah. So Okay, what else you got?

spk_1:   6:57
All right. So I think if we look at our emotions like I was thinking toe help people process through. Like if every emotion you could experience was represented, like in a rainbow, right? We need to make sure that we're able to experience a variety of them. There were not continually stuck in, you know, read all the time.

spk_0:   7:19
Just the news of headlines will put you in red for anger or sadness or freak out. Yeah, whatever emotion free got is

spk_1:   7:28
right. So making sure that you're being really intentional about doing activities to help you experience the other thing. So for us, a lot of that is just going outside the house and taking a walk.

spk_0:   7:40
Right? Right, right. If you can't do that trying to find something funny to laugh at, right, Good. Besides laughing at our kids,

spk_1:   7:47
Several comedians. You know that, right? T trying to experience that joy and laughter and that kind of thing, right? Yeah, for sure. So I actually did a little bit of searching because, you know, I like to research things and from the art of, well, being dot com, the author actually gave four stages for processing emotions. And so the recommendation was one mindfulness. So just being aware, sometimes

spk_0:   8:16
it takes me a couple of days to realize I've been a jerk. Had apologize. I don't know what day, Sunday, all the day's run together now, you know, like break. So I think it is Saturday or Sunday. I apologize to you. It's like, Honey, I'm sorry. I've just been whatever you like. That's good. Yes. Why

spk_1:   8:32
don't you go tell

spk_0:   8:33
your kids

spk_1:   8:33
that you were very humble. And you accepted that.

spk_0:   8:38
Yeah. Yeah. So I did. I apologize to the kids, but it wasn't mindfulness. It took me a couple of days to realize how like I was, Right, So?

spk_1:   8:45
So that just awareness and the number two would be naming it. Yeah, you know, being able to say frustrated, like I'm really frustrated right now. Irritated? Whatever.

spk_0:   8:56
What goes deeper to anger, right? Frustration with me.

spk_1:   8:58
Yeah, well, and I think even under anger is really fear. Think this

spk_0:   9:02
year is the

spk_1:   9:03
root of a lot of our negative emotions. Right for sure. Um, three is acceptance like, Yeah, I know about you.

spk_0:   9:12
I'm really ticked off in

spk_1:   9:15
a normal world, like we intentionally have two days a week that everyone leaves the house except for you, so that you can have that quiet that you need to function. Well, yes. And those days have been jerked away from

spk_0:   9:29
you have.

spk_1:   9:31
But you just have to accept that right now.

spk_0:   9:32
I know. And then we're trying to work around a different like rearranging. But

spk_1:   9:37
your office is free range like almost every day

spk_0:   9:39
and tell her deal with crisis rearranged free range sees this flows better. I feel like you float a lot today. I edited a lot of pages in my book. I'm working on it. Yeah, it was really good.

spk_1:   9:50
Yeah. Everybody in the podcast world. He basically kicked me out of the bedroom and sent him to the basement to work because

spk_0:   9:56
I was trying to work. Even today, though, I went when I say I had a good day, I said in my leather chair, which is nice, but I had my chainsaw earmuffs because the kids in the other I mean, they weren't being bad. They're just kids. Yeah. So that's our old

spk_1:   10:11
Yeah. So the poor thing is taking action. Um, And so for me, even when I found out about my friends lost this morning, um, you know, it was Well, is there something that we can order for her? Because there's a group of us have been really close friends since childhood, you know, And so

spk_0:   10:33
long time ago?

spk_1:   10:34
No time ago. Um, you know, but taking an action. I can't be with her physically right now. I can't hug her. I can't do the things I would typically do. So what? Is it different action activity I can do to express this feeling that I'm having

spk_0:   10:51
right, Which is? Yeah, that's hard. And also, like, I think I think if it's feeling the same sadness with that, that's one thing. A friend, I think feeling sad and angry just reading the headlines. That doesn't count. You gotta You gotta change gears. Totally. You know what I mean? Like, I could get really frustrated just reading the headlines, but I don't know those people like it's just so much information that I'm My brain wants together, right? But it does not help me as a person, right? You know what I mean? Unless the headlines are tornado coming, get out. You know, get your basement. You know, whatever. But I'm just saying I have had to become very aware. Hey, these headlines. How am I feeling? Oh, I feel pretty lucky right now. I need to go change. We talked about this before. Go do something else. Right? So it's gonna be cold.

spk_1:   11:37
Well, you're still following those steps, right? Number four being action. But the action is Turn off the stupid news.

spk_0:   11:43
Right? Right, right, right. None

spk_1:   11:45
of us was created here three hours a day of news

spk_0:   11:47
of cycle. Yeah. The news cycle, Yeah. Is brutal right now. Yeah. So get away. So it's gonna be, like, freezing at night in the spring. So we had to go out and we covered our potatoes. We did covered the onions. I don't think I need it, but we covered stuff, covered the carrots, did all that stuff we need to do.

spk_1:   12:05
So you got out into the different activity

spk_0:   12:07
around in a different activity. Change of pace. Yeah. Yeah.

spk_1:   12:11
So I think, um, some warning signs that you are not processing these emotions. Well,

spk_0:   12:17
I've probably been in all this. I don't know what's on this list.

spk_1:   12:21
Here it comes. Avoidance. Check.

spk_0:   12:24
What else you got? Check

spk_1:   12:26
rumination. So, like this Staying in that stuff

spk_0:   12:30
like swallowing it.

spk_1:   12:32
I just wandering in and, yeah, check addiction, like picking up. And let's be really, like, for me, I struggle with sugar addiction.

spk_0:   12:41
Yeah, if

spk_1:   12:42
I get really stressed out, those Eminem's and I talked about

spk_0:   12:45
that knows how hard

spk_1:   12:46
I have been hitting us hard. Now, the problem is, I buy them for me and you hit the bar. Yeah. Um, projection. True. So like I'm frustrated about a work situation, and you come in the room.

spk_0:   13:01
Oh, and

spk_1:   13:01
I start taking all that anger out on you, which is related to the next one, which is volcanic emotions and eruptions. So, you know, if all of a sudden I've been, like stuffing all that emotion in a box and then I start crying

spk_0:   13:17
not gonna legally No, no, it's not gonna leak out. It's gonna like, Oh, it's gonna be an explosion. Yeah. So check. I think I've done most of those.

spk_1:   13:27
And I think, you know, all of us probably do none of us handle our emotions, you know, beautifully,

spk_0:   13:34
right? Right.

spk_1:   13:34
But when we see those things being like a warning sign, you know, the end of the road is coming. Turn around, You know

spk_0:   13:43
for sure for sure. Especially when you are dealing with your kids, right? Like some

spk_1:   13:47
of

spk_0:   13:47
your emotions. You just need keep in check, like, you know, I mean, you just don't need to like, uh, because your kids can, You know, they know when you're stressed and whatever china navigate, don't don't hide it from him. But what You probably can't They're kids. They're so smart. about sensing, even though they don't have a vocabulary for it,

spk_1:   14:07
even if that with newborns Yeah, we would have just a navy biddy baby. They would still pick up on our attention. Or, you know, our joy. Well, when you got a little, you know, baby, just smiling and that kind of thing, like feeding off of that joy of the parents.

spk_0:   14:25
So let's take all of this what we just talked about and let's apply it to our kids because we need to help them process cause just like none of us have ever experienced anything like this. Our kids have never experienced anything like this, right? And so if we can help them process through these things, if you can help your If you have the people in your business, your team spend five minutes and just go through this four stages of processing your emotions mindfulness. What is that? Can't read your writing, naming acceptance in action that will help. That will help you tremendously. It really well we have. We have a tool or help people with that.

spk_1:   15:07
We do. We do. Just taking a deep breath. And I've heard this. It's interesting because I listen to all of these business leaders around the globe who are sharing information, and I'm tuning into these webinars and watching. It is amazing how many of them have said in various ways Stop and take a breath. Yeah, I think that that's that, like pausing and becoming mindful and just kind of like reconnecting exhaling for a minute.

spk_0:   15:37
Right, Right, right.

spk_1:   15:38
So the tool that we have, we've created a sheet to help people start their days. And it has

spk_0:   15:45
like Covad. But man is my

spk_1:   15:47
meditation and a planning, So it's just a great start to your day. But it breaks down where you're even, like just becoming mindful of what's going on in my body and my heart in my mind and my spirit, that has been such a helpful tool with our kids to be able to process exactly how they're feeling.

spk_0:   16:05
We need put off more copies sent around like you'll do your sheets this morning. They're like, No, we're out. I was like, Oh,

spk_1:   16:12
so you can pick those up If you go to our website, which is l s f podcast dot com. It'll ask for your name and email. You feel that in. And Bam! We're gonna send you a copy of that for free to your email box. It's really Thio even wrote out I

spk_0:   16:30
wrote it, but it is really good.

spk_1:   16:31
Brit those out and you No, use them for yourself. Use them for your kids, however, blesses you. We would love to connect with you guys. Connect with us on Facebook on our website or on instagram. I am

spk_0:   16:45
Shauna Cherie as a wood is Justin Ray would on insta Great. I know, but you can still connect with this is ever so often I check it. I'm trying to do better, but most of all, guys, we want you to remember that you are valuable and what you do matters. Thank you.