spk_0:   0:00
Well, Teoh family podcast where we believe you all fallible and what you do matters

spk_1:   0:24
thing Number 51. I am Justin.

spk_0:   0:29
Take two. I am Jonah would.

spk_1:   0:33
Yeah, we just try to record this. And the microphone was

spk_0:   0:37
not blooded.

spk_1:   0:39
Ouch. Lesson learned. I should have double checked. OK, so I have started a fire. Ah. What day is it? It's in April, almost the end of April, and I'm building a fire because it's gonna be cold tonight

spk_0:   0:52
because it's been like, two days of dropping temperatures and rain.

spk_1:   0:55
Yeah, what's up with that? I'm ready to get the garden.

spk_0:   0:58
I don't know, but, like, part of me feels like Jesus loves me. Tomorrow is gonna be sunny. I got to get these kids out of the house. Jesus loves my Children. You don't make it. So

spk_1:   1:10
good point. Okay, so we're talking today. Well, first off, thank you all for listening all over all over the country of the United States, all over the different parts of the world. So we're very encouraged and also very humbled, I think. Yeah. Do you feel humbled?

spk_0:   1:25
I feel humbled. All

spk_1:   1:27
right. Today, Today. What are we talking about, honey?

spk_0:   1:31
today We're talking about what you do matters.

spk_1:   1:35
Yes. Now maybe even more than ever. And we say it a lot. What you do, You say it a lot in our tag at the end, and we definitely believe that we were like, I wanna flesh out. We've had some different people asked. What

spk_0:   1:46
do

spk_1:   1:46
you mean by that? What? What you do matters, right? What are you talking about? So you have a story? I might have a story a bit later. You said go. Story done.

spk_0:   1:56
OK, OK, story time. So is many of, you know our third son was born with cleft lip and palate, so practically what that meant was that he could not nurse and he could not take a regular bottle. Because when you have a huge hole in the roof of your mouth, you can't create suction because you're just it's all connected to your nose. And so you have to eat with a special feeder which meant that I had to pump, which meant that the whole feeding cycle lasted like an hour and 1/2 which after your baby's a few weeks at the beginning, you had to feed a baby like every two hours, so that only allowed, like, no sleep. And then after a while it goes to three hours. Which meant I couldn't maybe get an hour of sleep in there,

spk_1:   2:46
right? So And when I tried to help out, it was never very good. I wake up Mylan, I of course, I was working during the day, but I worked. I woke up middle night one time particular, trying to help the screaming baby. Of course, I staggered into his room.

spk_0:   3:00
So we both wake up and you're like, It's okay, honey. You sleep, I'll go get the baby. I'll

spk_1:   3:04
take care of this. I got it. Staggered in, picked up the baby and he was squalling and

spk_0:   3:10
listening from the

spk_1:   3:11
during the baby dance.

spk_0:   3:15
You're good at the baby. Damn,

spk_1:   3:16
I'm very good that we had a lot of practice. Six babies? Yes, very good.

spk_0:   3:21
But the crying

spk_1:   3:22
hey got louder and worse. And then I finally realized I was holding him upside down.

spk_0:   3:27
Yeah, I think

spk_1:   3:29
I know out. No, you did not. You did not. This is all in your mind. I realized it in the dark because I finally felt his head and I was like, Oh, that's what that's on his feet. I have upside down.

spk_0:   3:42
Oh, my Anyway, so part of me didn't

spk_1:   3:45
I was completely useless. That's what I'm trying to say.

spk_0:   3:47
If it was an intentional fail cause he got fired from that position and I just continue to getting up with them. So anyway, um, but I do appreciate the effort.

spk_1:   3:59
I don't think you did.

spk_0:   4:00
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so Prez waas is fantastic. But his first year of life meant very little sleep for me,

spk_1:   4:10
and we had to others.

spk_0:   4:11
And yeah, we had a two year on the four year old at the time. So thankfully, your grandmother Grandma June lives, you know, like, a mile away is the crow flies and she loved to come over and rock baby prison. Yes. And even to this day, they have, like, this amazing relationship, and she just she's, you know, in her late eighties, she doesn't really give a rip what anybody thinks anymore. And she has no problem like totally saying that he is her favorite.

spk_1:   4:45
And also, when you have cleft palate, when you have the whole up in the top, when you eat things Sometimes it kind of great drains out. Yeah,

spk_0:   4:54
comes out, you know?

spk_1:   4:54
Yeah, kind of drink those? No. So she was shoving him in minimums and chocolate like

spk_0:   4:59
like, six months old. People like you can't

spk_1:   5:04
be feeding of chocolate. And she

spk_0:   5:06
was like, Oh, yeah, he loves him, isn't he? Can't chew that. Oh, but if I break him up, he just sucks on them. And then I'd get the bait. Then I get him back and got, like, chocolate dripping out of those anyway,

spk_1:   5:19
so that was the relationship,

spk_0:   5:20
but yeah, So they've got this super.

spk_1:   5:22
So we get to the point what you do matter.

spk_0:   5:24
White waas. She came over almost everyday to rock him and put on cartoons for the preschoolers so I could go take a nap.

spk_1:   5:33
And it probably saved our marriage and our kids

spk_0:   5:35
in my life

spk_1:   5:36
and your life

spk_0:   5:37
because I'm like, one of those people that normally needs, like, eight hours of sleep and to go to like, hardly any sleep was a very bad. So her coming over rocking the baby, watching the preschoolers watch Sesame Street and allowing me to sleep was a huge thing in my life. But if she was talking to somebody else, like one of her friends at the Y or something. She's probably like, Oh, I'm really do anything today. I just have I held the baby. So what she didn't think was very important was huge for me. The impact in my life.

spk_1:   6:11
Right? And this is the problem as we do. Problem solution. This is the problem with what you do matters. You don't get a scorecard at the end of the day. You know, it's not mailed to you. Yeah, to say

spk_0:   6:23
things we have value, right. There is some feedback system,

spk_1:   6:27
right? Right. Right. But, um, we don't have a good feedback system, and you're not going to get a, you know, a letter in the mail saying, Hey, you did a great job this day, and it really impacted this person in a great way. Just because you smiled and said hello, Right, Because we have a story. I have a story. We have a story. But, gentlemen, we know at the local feed store, this is not like a big bucks feed store. Like for animal, like, you know, farming store. Not a big boxes. Like a little local in our little town community and

spk_0:   6:56
like where you go to get, like chicken feed or horse speed or what have explained that up in a city. And I didn't know what a feed store was,

spk_1:   7:05
right? Right? So it's not food for you. It's It's for like, see, you get garden seeds there, you get a ball, changed all their gotta agricultural thing. Yeah, we need her there, you know, whatever. So there was a gentleman there. He was, like, the nicest guy. And you would think there's something's not quite right cause he's too nice. But he was always like the greeter there, right? Like he was so nice. And so from the first time you going there you like I don't know about that. But you go every time you like. Oh, that guy's just

spk_0:   7:34
he's just one of the

spk_1:   7:35
outgoing Lee. Yeah, it's not tank care of you. Show you what? Everything you need on the store Answer all your questions. You know, just a nice guy.

spk_0:   7:45
I don't know if he did this for the guys, but for ladies who went like he would hall the feet out and loaded up into my view for me, which was huge because I was typically wrangling multiple Children trying to pick up chicken feet on top of groceries.

spk_1:   7:58
And he was the highlight of your

spk_0:   8:00
Yeah, like I was like, hey, going to the feed store. But at least I know I'm gonna see this guy. He's gonna help me, and he's gonna be so nice. Like, just brightened my day.

spk_1:   8:08
Yeah, and I know his name, but I'm going to say his name. But he was, like, the nicest. Anyway, he commits suicide. He combined. Says I'd like, I don't know, a year or so ago. And I came when it was Maybe not that long ago. Anyway, I haven't been back to the feet, so I just went back, like, a couple of weeks ago because, like, it made me so sad to go in there And no, he wasn't gonna be there. Yeah, and no one knew that he was going through a hard time. And he wasn't getting a report card of the other day saying, Hey, your smile and your friendly greeting impacted

spk_0:   8:42
X y z. Yeah,

spk_1:   8:44
because everyone I've talked to in this community who goes to the feed store just mourned and grieved this greeter at the feed store, right, Because they just

spk_0:   8:56
it was like you just knew you could look forward, Teoh and interacting

spk_1:   8:59
with. So I wish he could have known that what he did mattered. Right. So anyway, yeah, I'm tearing up. No,

spk_0:   9:08
no, it's rough is rough. And I think the danger is in this time that we're still in the shelter in place season is that people are isolated and their brains are possibly tricking them and saying, See, I told you, like you don't even interact with anybody right now. You don't really matter all of that kind of thing. But that's all alive, right? Because the truth is that each of us matters and we have the opportunity to have a huge impact on other people. And sometimes it's really small things like opening the door and giving someone a smile.

spk_1:   9:41
Right, Right, right. So I've I've thought about this. I think one solution is because, well, here's the solution. Because I know I'm not getting a great card. You know what? The other day, so and you did a great job doing this, right? But other people aren't either, but I can tell them they're doing a great job. Yeah, so I shouldn't expect one myself, but I can give them, you know what I mean? I can start saying, Hey, you know, I've been trying to tell our kids with their chores, especially our oldest one who's in charge of the kitchen. It's a lot of work.

spk_0:   10:17
It is a lot of

spk_1:   10:17
when he just gets it done. A lot of times, like he you know, there's Thursday finders. Yeah, some days he has to have more reminders than others, but I've been trying to say, Hey, you know, the kitchen looks good. Thanks. So you're doing a good job? Um, it's a little thing, but I know he's not gonna get one in the mail, right?

spk_0:   10:35
And this mission is adults were used to Do you know, it's easy for us to kind of connect when I do something of value. I got to pay check for it like I do something of value at work. It shows up as a bonus or, you know, that kind of thing. And this is not on that system, and even for our kids who are used to, I do something valuable a school. It shows up within a on the report card kind of thing, you know? So we have to create a new feedback system. We're letting people know articulating. Hey, I really appreciate that. You do this,

spk_1:   11:07
right? Whatever. Yeah. So even shut out to my friend Curry. He lives a couple hours away, Went high school together. He came down last week, just drove back. Hey, I'm just cruising around. Just want to get out the house. Just coming today.

spk_0:   11:20
And it was It was really I

spk_1:   11:21
was really happy to see him, you know, just really like one of those. Oh, it was kind of surprised. I was seeing her type of the one books there and going cross eyed, most green. I got to kind of show him around the five acre Ponderosa, and, you know, he would stay very long.

spk_0:   11:34
I looked out the window because the kids were like, Somebody's here. Somebody's here out downs Like I wonder who that could be because it looks like curry. But he's in Louisville. Yeah. No,

spk_1:   11:45
it was just like one of those things again, Like I don't know, It just it was just a fun thing. So you just don't know. You know how you impact people that day? Something real simple. Really, Like, encourage someone?

spk_0:   11:56
Yeah. So I think is ah, global community. We're doing a better job of recognizing the role of our health care workers and of our truck drivers and of our grocery store clerks and some of those people that for a really long time just kind of got neglected, right? But I think that it applies to everybody. Um, you know, like your that we've got all these educators who are now forced to be virtual educators who are rising up to that challenge

spk_1:   12:26
because it is a Jones.

spk_0:   12:27
It is a challenge for sure. We have so many people who were making big shifts in order to still serve others. But then on a really simple level, like I know from my experience, when I shifted from working outside the home to being a stay at home mom, Yes, like there were days I questioned my sanity. A all like I was doing was like changing diapers and wiping snotty noses and filling cereal bowls and that kind of thing. And I wondered, Is this making any kind of different

spk_1:   12:57
right, because you had no feedback loop that you It's

spk_0:   13:00
not like you're little.

spk_1:   13:01
You're a rock star when you go out in public into a public work job, right? You know, like, hey, Well, how, Sean And you did a great job of your love. You know,

spk_0:   13:08
it does not matter if you're a rock star, your infant and your preschooler are not going to let you know. They're just goes a my You do this, that's all. Another episode? Yeah, but so when we tell you at the end of every podcast and when our kiddos tell you at the beginning of the podcast that you are valuable and what you do matters, it's because that is very much the truth,

spk_1:   13:35
right? Right. And we kind of need to anchor ourselves in that it was like, Yeah, what I do matters, you know, it might be a small thing, but it doesn't matter.

spk_0:   13:43
And I think the more you give that validation to other people letting them know Hey, this made an impact in my life. Thank you for doing that. Then you start to kind of like, re educate yourself, that doing the little things for other people is valuable.

spk_1:   14:01
Exactly. Yeah, because you received that value from others. Yeah, that's a good point. So, yeah, your assignment, my assignment. Five people find five people who have impacted you in some way bigger, small, and just tell him Thank you. Yeah, but what they did mattered to you.

spk_0:   14:16
Yeah, And it could be like, really honestly, a simple as when you check out from the grocery store and someone is like, smiling and kind like, Hey, thanks for the happy face today. I needed that way. Like we're increasing.

spk_1:   14:31
I think part of the we gotta move past that awkwardness because it feels awkward. Justo. Hey, I really appreciate you, you know, even to tell my own son. Hey, you did a good job. I really appreciate that. There's a little bit like I have to make an effort, you know? Yeah,

spk_0:   14:45
Very cool. Thank you guys. So much for taking time out to listen and hang out with us. We really do mean it when we say that you are valuable in what you do matters. And we hope that you will connect with a soon either on Facebook

spk_1:   14:59
on our website or on Instagram. You all have a blessed day. Thank you