Get Out of Teaching Podcast Season 3, Episode 6 Triage call with Shelley (Middle School Teacher)

This is a recording of a 10 min triage call with Shelley, who generously allowed me to record our conversation.

Shelley is a teacher from the USA who got into teaching to help students and to give underprivileged students opportunities. She taught a year abroad in Spain on a Fulbright grant, and has taught here in the US for one year. 

She began to consider leaving teaching after the Covid pandemic hit. She felt that teachers are highly educated, yet overworked and sorely underpaid. She also knew that teaching was detrimental to her mental health. 

She is still currently teaching and is considering a transition out of teaching. However, she has not yet been able to teach history full time yet—one major push for her becoming a teacher. 

She hopes to continue teaching in the meantime until she has given that dream job a go. Hopefully it works out, but she’s open to all kinds of career possibilities.
Aired on April 28th 2021

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Transcript

Elizabeth Diacos  0:00  
Welcome to Season 3 of the Get Out of Teaching Podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Diacos. In each episode of this season, I'll be coaching a teacher around one aspect of their move out of Education. You'll have the privilege of listening in on the powerful coaching conversations that move people closer to a life they love. So come along for the ride as we get out of teaching. 

Episode 6. Hi, everyone, and welcome to the show. And I'm very pleased and grateful to Shelley who's agreed to come on the show even though this is actually a real live triage call, which is something that I offer to people who are considering leaving teaching, and they want to just have a conversation about what the possibilities might be for the future, and to get a real sense of what their options are. And also to determine if now is the right time to make that change. So, Shelley, I'm very grateful to you for being part of this experiment today. And I guess I want to ask you, what would make this an amazing conversation for you today?

Shelley Spalding  1:10  
I would, I think - I think teachers just want someone to talk to who, I'd, like, I don't need a direction right after this. I think teachers just need someone to talk to who understands and who can provide, you know, hope that there's, you know, something after teaching and that you can have a successful fulfilling career after teaching. And so I think that's just like, what I need. And what a lot of people need is just the encouragement and hope and recognition of like, why it's valid to get out.

Elizabeth Diacos  1:55  
Yeah, okay. Wow, that's intense. So if we're going to measure the success of this particular conversation.

Shelley Spalding  2:06  
Yeah.

Elizabeth Diacos  2:07  
What would be a measure of success? 

Shelley Spalding  2:10  
Oh, um, I guess just determining, like, do we need to move forward? Like, is it time for me to leave teaching? Or like, am I not ready to leave teaching?

Elizabeth Diacos  2:23  
Yeah. Okay. Great. That's a, that's a really, I mean, if we could come away.

Shelley Spalding  2:27  
Very measurable. 

Elizabeth Diacos  2:29  
In 10 minutes, if we can get that that nailed. That will be amazing, wouldn't it? 

Shelley Spalding  2:34  
Yeah. 

Elizabeth Diacos  2:34  
Yeah. 

Shelley Spalding  2:34  
Maybe? 

Elizabeth Diacos  2:36  
Well, it would be good to know, or to have a sense of what what the real situation is because I think what I've noticed with teachers with, you know, not just teachers, but because I mainly work with teachers, that we, we have these unconscious, self protective reconstruction of reality, where we, we say, we're fine, you know, the F word, we're fine, "I'm fine." And we'd go to work smiling. And I look at people's LinkedIn profiles, and they look like they're, you know, Teacher of the Year. And then they message me and say, please help me get out. So it looks great on paper, but they're really not happy. And so. And I think we, you know, we, you have to do that, because you've got to still show up at work every day. But there's this real dishonesty in doing that, and a real in authenticity. And I know that that's what, what cuts to the quick for a lot of teachers showing up every day is inauthentic. So what's your take on that?

Shelley Spalding  3:38  
On?

Elizabeth Diacos  3:41  
Well, is in authenticity one of the issues that you're facing?

Shelley Spalding  3:47  
Yeah, I would say so. For me, for me, teaching was like, I watched, you know, Dead Poets Society, and I was like, "I'm going to be the Mr. Keating." And I'm going to be like, the teacher with the X Factor, and I'm going to be so fulfilled. And I know it's gonna be hard, but I'm good at hard things. And I know how to work. And I'm okay with, you know, not being super rich. And so, when I and then I got into teaching, and I realized, like, oh, this is not what I'm... One I'm not, you know, exactly the X Factor teacher. And two, this isn't all I signed up for, and so, um, yeah, absolutely. I do feel like I'm putting on, you know, a fake smile a lot of times and a student actually asked me last week, she said, "Ms. Spalding, are you happy that you became a teacher?" And I said, "Yes." And I mean, you know, that's a complicated question. I'm not totally saying no, of course. But that actually did happen last week. And I would just looks like smiled and said, "Yes, of course." And I was like, in my mind, I was thinking, "Ah.." 

Elizabeth Diacos  5:16  
Yeah, well, I mean, you know, so, so then you're kind of, do you start to believe that, that lie that that you're happy and everything's okay. Because you're kind of forced into this situation where it's not cool to show how unhappy you are at work and walk around scowling. That tends to be frowned upon. Okay, so how long have you actually been teaching for, Shelley?

Shelley Spalding  5:40  
Um, this would be my second year of teaching. So I taught for a year abroad in Spain. And this is my first year teaching abroad, stateside.

Elizabeth Diacos  5:53  
Okay, so, so you're, you're like at home now? Like you back home?

Shelley Spalding  6:00  
Yes, yes. Kentucky is my home. And so I'm back here in the South. And yes, I'm back home.

Elizabeth Diacos  6:08  
Yeah. And so after two years, you've already realized this is not your cup of tea?

Shelley Spalding  6:16  
Yeah, I don't know. Part of me is like wondering too, and I think this is a good question, you know, is like, "Am I ready to get out?" It's like, I'm like, "Have I given it enough time?" Yeah, like, "Have I given it enough time," is, you know, I haven't really taught the subject area that I was even certified in, I'm like, "Would I be happier teaching the subject area I'm certified in?" I'm asking a lot of questions like that. But at the same time, I'm just like, very overworked and very underpaid, and don't feel valued for like, you know, all the time that I'm putting in. And just, I feel, like, asked to give more than I can, you know?

Elizabeth Diacos  7:10  
So, you, you have the resources that you need in the school, like, have they asked you to provide stuff as well?

Shelley Spalding  7:20  
Um, I wouldn't say they've ever asked me to provide anything, but, um, I work at a private school. And so funds are already low. And my pay is already low. And so for example, we had to have carts this year because we are the ones moving from classroom to classroom, and we were given a cart, but it could not hold anything that the teacher needed to carry from classroom to classroom. And so like, yeah, I've, you know, I'm buying my own supplies, of course, but the sad thing is, every teacher does that, you know, every teacher is buying for their classroom, and buying tons of things for their classroom, and I'm buying plans off of Teachers Pay Teachers just because I don't have the time to plan everything that I need to. And so in order to like, survive, I'm, you know, having to buy my own plans on lessons on Teachers Pay Teachers as well.

Elizabeth Diacos  8:27  
Yeah, okay. So it sounds like there's, what you're doing is not really what you signed up for, you're not even teaching your subject area. You're not creating any curriculum, because you don't, you're so stretched. All the creativity and the fun stuff is actually not happening. And so you're in this position now, where you're just and also you're on a cart, which is not really that fun. It's not nice to...

Shelley Spalding  8:55  
Yep, that's COVID.

Elizabeth Diacos  8:57  
Yeah, yeah. I know, but still, it's...

Shelley Spalding  8:59  
...still not fun. 

Elizabeth Diacos  9:01  
Yeah.

Shelley Spalding  9:01  
Still not fun. Yeah.

Elizabeth Diacos  9:03  
So if we were to go back to the question, is it time to leave? What would need to happen for you to know that? The answer to that?

Shelley Spalding  9:24  
Um, what would need to happen? I think I would just have to be, well, I actually I have interviews at a couple other schools that are my subject areas. And so, um, but I think in order for me to make the decision to leave, I have to, I think, I would like to secure a job outside of teaching that I know is like, you know, going to pay my bills. And that I'm also like, going to be able to grow in like, I don't want to move into a dead-end job. But I would like it to move into something that is going to be still fulfilling and good work-life balance and be able to pay my bills as well. 

Elizabeth Diacos  10:28  
Yeah. Okay. So let me ask you a different question, then. Imagine that tomorrow morning, you woke up and you as you put your feet on the ground, you knew that you were going to that job, that job where you, you've earned enough (inaudible), and you've got everything you need. You're going to have a fulfilling work life. There'll be balance, and you won't be teaching, how would that feel?

Shelley Spalding  10:58  
Fulfilled? So awesome. Yeah, I mean, that was so amazing to know that, you know, I wouldn't have the Sunday scaries of, you know, prepping before Monday and grading on the weekends, and I could leave work at work and still make enough money to support myself.

Elizabeth Diacos  11:21  
Yeah, yeah. Okay. And is there a time frame for you? Like, would you like to be out by say, ready for the next school year, you've started your new job? Is that what you're thinking?

Shelley Spalding  11:36  
That's where I'm, that's what I don't know. You know, I'm, I'm not sure. And so if I don't get out this year, that's fine. And I'm happy to teach another year, especially during a non-COVID year. And yeah, it's, my timeline is kind of just like, I was thinking within the next year or two years. 

Elizabeth Diacos  12:09  
Right. 

Shelley Spalding  12:09  
I could be out.

Elizabeth Diacos  12:11  
So if you, if you were to get a different job that's in your subject area. It sounds like that would be worth trying before you decide to make that change? Like permanently?

Shelley Spalding  12:24  
Yes, yes, absolutely.

Elizabeth Diacos  12:27  
Okay. And so it sounds like, right now, you've made a decision, I think. That will...

Shelley Spalding  12:37  
To...

Elizabeth Diacos  12:38  
Well you, with the question was, is it time to leave? And it sounds like, correct me if I'm wrong, that, that right now is not yet the right time until you've tried teaching your own subject area.

Shelley Spalding  12:54  
And I would agree, and that's why I've like been applying to these, these schools, and that's what I've thought I'm like, "Maybe I could, maybe I would really enjoy it." And like, in the non-COVID year, I could create the curriculum that I want to and you know, create, you know, some of the fun could be back in it that I did sign up for. And I might enjoy it. So, yeah, I'm hoping for that, for sure.

Elizabeth Diacos  13:28  
Okay, so just circling back to the start of the conversation. Is it time to leave?

Shelley Spalding  13:37  
I don't think so.

Elizabeth Diacos  13:39  
Not yet.

Shelley Spalding  13:41  
Not yet.

Elizabeth Diacos  13:42  
Yeah. Okay. All right. So I want to just get, well ask you one more question. How has this conversation been helpful to you today?

Shelley Spalding  13:54  
Well, I think it's like helped me process. Um, it's helped me process a little bit of what I'm thinking and, um, coz I go around in my head every day, like, "Is it the right time to leave? I would leave under these circumstances," etc, etc. But, I mean, this is helpful. Just talk to someone who has, you know, I don't know if you've gotten out of teaching, but you help people get out of teaching.

Elizabeth Diacos  14:22  
Yeah, no, I was a teacher too. 

Shelley Spalding  14:25  
Yeah, I figured. And so, um, yeah, it's just helpful to talk to someone and it's kind of nice to hear from someone like, "It's okay to keep going and give it another, give it another go." You know, and it's okay to, you know, try to be, try for it to be what you signed up for it to be, if that makes sense.

Elizabeth Diacos  14:48  
Yeah. Yeah. Great. I'm really pleased. Because I don't go in search of people who want to get out of teaching, they usually find me. Usually, not always. And so it's, um, I think it's - we need good teachers, we need passionate teachers in Education who want to be there and who want to work with their students and help them to, you know, flourish and thrive in that school environment. And I would never say don't don't teach just because it's teaching, I would say, don't teach because it's not, you're not able to do that anymore. For whatever reason, either because you're not you're, you're physically ill, or you're mentally not well, or the school environment won't allow it like there's a myriad of reasons what, that would stop someone from being able to flourish. 

But if you can flourish in that environment, I would say, "Please stay in Education, because we need people like you there." So, ah, Shelley my hope for you is that you will find something that is a really good fit for you, and that it becomes a really, a fulfilling and awesome career. And if it doesn't, you know, you can give me another call. And we can have this conversation again, in a year or two's time and see, see where that takes us. All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna stop recording now. And thanks to everyone who's been listening, it's been really great to talk to Shelly and I hope that this conversation, the triage call, it, you get a little sense of what that's about. 

If you want to have a conversation like this, just please do get in touch with me. You can send me a message through Facebook's probably the easiest way, and we can make a time to have that conversation. 

If this is the kind of conversation you'd like to have, here's some ways we can make that happen. You can connect with me via my website, larksong.com.au or join the Get Out of Teaching Facebook Group, or send me a message. You don't need to stay stuck in a job that makes you miserable. I offer a free 10-minute triage call to people who are ready to explore possibilities for the future. So let's have a chat. You've been listening to the Get Out of Teaching Podcast. Please share it with your teacher buddies and for show notes and other resources visit larksong.com.au/podcast

Transcribed by https://otter.ai