Hello, and welcome to bedtime stories with me are ARAT today. I'm gonna be reading to you from my book, the pesky kids, the mystery of the squashed cockroach. Here we go. Chapter two, what's in a name you just blew up a house. Wild fin, correct said professor Maynard turn into smile at the three children on the backseat. Although technically the house belonged to the agency. So I was just blowing up her own property. But the stuff inside the house was our said, April, you could tell she was in shock, partly because she was shaking and her lips were starting to turn blue, but also because she hadn't attacked professor Mayard yet, which would've been her normal reaction to someone destroying Orbita suitcase worth of her things. I know said professor Mayard in the tone of voice of someone trying to be kind when they're not naturally good at it, but you have to try and folk on the positive side, you are not dead. You, you have a very low benchmark for positive stamina at Joe. He was in shock too. Being a teenage boy, Joe was terrible at dealing with emotions. There is something about hormones that makes emotions go crazy. For most young people, between the ages of 14 and 19, he was wasn't sure what to be the most upset about the fact that his mother was in a foreign prison or the fact that the olives he'd been about to eat were now a smoldering pile of Ash. Where are you taking us as Finn? Not the prison where they're holding. Mom asked April, oh, heaven's no chuckled. Professor may not. I'm taking you to your father's house. What? Explain all three children. Your dad said, professor Maynard, just in case the three children didn't know what the word father meant. That would be odd because two out of three of them had done incredibly well on the IQ tests. The agency had secretly performed on them by posing his student teachers in infiltrating their preschool only April hadn't because at the age of four, she'd refused to do the test saying tests were patriarchal, but why would we visit him? Asked fin. We haven't seen him in years, said Joe, we've never seen him, said April indicating herself in fin. Their father had left shortly after her birth. A fact that may go a long way towards explaining April's hostility to mail authority figures. We don't wanna go and stay with that. Dead beat said, fin, starting to get angry. When your house has just been blown up, it's easy to get worked up quickly. He's never wanted anything to do with us. He's always been too busy, winning the Chelsea flower show and traveling the world, searching for new and exotic plants. We don't want anything to do with him besides isn't he in Papa one, you Guinea said Joe collecting samples of some rare car nevers, orchid. I thought it was a Dalia said, April mom told me it was a tree Fern said fed. Yes, your mom is very convincing. Isn't. She said professor Maynard proudly. She always performs off the charts in her lying tests. You test lying last April. Oh yes. It's an essential skill for a secret agent to be able to lie uphill and down Dale. She chuckled again. She once lied her way into Tran's secret service headquarters. By telling the guard, she dropped a contact lens in the bathroom. He spent quarter of an hour on his hands and knees helping her look for it all the while she was downloading data from their mainframe, using a scanner she'd hidden in her handbag, professor Maynard's side, happily at the memory, ah, she doesn't even wear contact. So where is dad asked Joe? He was the only one who had any linger in regard for their father, because he was the only one who could remember him in hiding said professor Maynard, for the first eight years of their marriage, your father was entirely convinced that your mother really was a dedicated paleontologist. He was as happily married as any man who would say secretly prefer to sit around in his underwear can be then what happened? Asked April. Well, he went out to dinner with your mother said professor Mayard. It was a big deal for them. With three young children, they rarely ate out regrettably, a terrorist from Interpol's top 10. Most wanted list sat down at the next table. Obviously your mother was duty bound to follow the rerate to the bathroom, choke him out with his own neck tie and call in a military helicopter to extract him from the roof of the building. And dad saw the whole thing as Finn. No actually said professor Maynard, your father is such a passionately dedicated horticulturalist that his ability to not notice things is off the chart. You secretly tested that too. Didn't you asked April. Oh yes. Said professor Maynard. It's probably why he and your mother had such a happy marriage. He never noticed anything. She was up to. The only problem on this occasion was that the restaurants of particularly delicious iced tea, your father had drunk three glasses of it and having a healthy urine system. He needed to use the restroom at precisely the same moment your mother was dragging the terrorist up the stairs by his feet. What did dad do? Asked Joe? He started to hyperventilate said professor Maynard, which was probably for the best because he passed out giving your mother time to get the terrorist into the waiting helicopter. But just as she was coming down the to get your father out of the restaurant, the other members of the terrorists cell arrived, oh, dear said, fin precisely said, professor Maynard, your mother is excellent at knife fighting. So she was never in any real danger. But I think the brutal way in which she broke the noses, collarbones and kneecaps of her assailants scared the lip of in daylights, out of your dad. One of the terrorists got away before your mother could subdue him and your father's identity was compromised. What does that mean? Ask Joe. We had to hide your dad for his own. Good said professor Mayard. He was scared of your mother too. She turned to fin. You know how you totally freak out about spiders? How do you know? I hate spiders as fin. Oh, we know everything about you laugh, professor Maynard. You'd be amazed at the nooks and crannies. We've stuck secret cameras into just so we can keep an eye on you. Who, the way you feel about it, big Harry is the same way your father feels about your mother. He screams and tries to run away. Ask Joe pretty much said professor Maynard, but usually his legs go to jelly. So he doesn't get far. So you are sending us to stay with him after April incredulously that's right? Said professor Maynard. It's the safest place for you now that you are entities have been compromised. What do you mean? Our identities have been compromised as Joe. We don't know what your mother has been forced to tell the collectives at professor Mayard. You just said she was off the charts at lion said fin. Yes, but they know that too said professor Maynard. They figured out her identity from her cover ID. That's how they found out about your house. It's a only a matter of time before they discover she has three children and they wanna get hold of you to use as a leverage against her what's mum being doing last April. You don't wanna know said professor Mayard. I wish I didn't know. And it's my job to know everything. I'm finding this hard to follow said, Joe, don't worry said professor Mayard it's pretty simple. Really? You are gonna go and live with your dad. He lives in a lovely country. Town called Kara won. You kidding me? Said fin, that's the name of a place? It's a delightful town at professor Mayard. We've enrolled you in the local school. It'll be splendid like a holiday. The only thing is you've got to totally forget your surname was a Banfield. You'll get a new name. What's it gonna be now asked Finn. Pesky said professor Maynard. Yes. I'm sure it's irritating said April, but what's on new name. No, pesky is your new name said professor Maynard, P E S K. I with an I you C not a Y it was actually your father's maiden name before he got married. His family changed it from Kinski after they immigrated from Poland. When he was a baby, wait said, joke, how can he have a maiden name? I thought women had maiden names. Well, that's not very progressive of you. Is it said professor Maynard, why should it always be the woman who changes her name when she gets married? Because it is said Finn. Yes. Well, in this case, your father agreed to change his name to your mother's name said professor Mayard. Although of course, Banfield isn't really her name. Either professor Maynard laughed at the irony of this. It's not said April, this more than anything that had happened in the last 20 minutes made her want to punch something. It was one thing to have to change your name for security, where reasons, but it was another to find out your name had always been made up for security reasons. Oh yes. She just came up with that one off the top of her head said professor Maynard reminiscing, probably because she was put in on a bandaid while looking at a field at the time. So we've gotta start our lives over in a new house at a new school with a dad. We don't know. And our name is gonna be pesky said, April, you do realize that everyone at school is gonna tease us, calling us the pesky kids. Don't worry said professor Maynard, the collective is after you having a silly is the least of your troubles, the end. Okay. That's it for now until next time. Goodbye.