Hello, and welcome to bedtime stories with me, right? SPRAT. Okay. So last time on the podcast, Joe got out of asking Daisy Odin's dot to the cockroach choices ball by saying he was taking Loretta the except he wasn't. So now he's gonna have to ask her, but anyway, let's pick up the story there and see what happens next. In chapter 19, something in the garden. Here we go. Dad was in the garden, gardening, digging up, weeds, pruning and planting were the only things that could calm. His never ending sense of dread fear had draped over him like a heavy cloak, weighing him down every second of the day for the past 11 years. Ever since that terrible night, when he saw the one woman, he truly loved smash in a grown man's nose with a dinner plate. He could barely remember what it had felt like before. When he, his life was normal, he was so used to his hands, shaking his breath, shortening and sweat pouring off him. He lived every day in a constant sense of fear that you would normally only experience if you're being chased by a grizzly bear. But in the last few days, it had got worse. Now, dad, wasn't just scared for himself. He was scared for his children too. He was terrified of his wife, but at least she'd had the skills to take care of their children. What chance did they have now that he was their last line of defense. That's why dad was out in the garden, weeding the daisies kneeling and the sun methodically improving the flower bed. A small section at the time was the closest. He came to meditation. Actual meditation only made himself of conscious. Every time he closed his eyes, he worried that an assassin would leap out and attack him. Dad had been working his way up the border for over an hour and his body was finally starting to relax. His hands didn't shake so much anymore that he'd accidentally pull up the DS and he could go an entire 10 minutes without needing the bathroom. This was as close to feeling it as dad got, he was able to enjoy the rust of the wind through the trees, the buzz of the bees, collecting nectar from the Jasmine plant nearby and the soft bubble of the fountain in his ornamental fish pond, until he heard it a sort of swooshed thud, the distinctive sound of a spade cutting into soil. A's first instinct was to play dead, but then he realized it would be suspicious if he was dead in the middle of the garden, he cautiously raised his head. So he could look over the French Lavena Bush in the direction. He'd heard the noise come from. He didn't see anything at first, but then he spotted it right in the middle of the rotor Deon. There was a big round bottom. Someone had their heads stuck in the Bush. Dad could not imagine what they might be doing, planting a listening device or a booby trap or a bomb. His brain told him to run away, but then he thought of his children. He couldn't keep letting them down. He was the grownup. If there was someone dangerous in the garden, he had to confront them. Dad raised his tr and started slowly and silently making his way towards the bottom. He had started shaking again. If James Bond put a cocktail shaker in his hands, he would've had a martini shaken, not stirred the bottom quid as dad approached it, the intruder was clearly doing something energetic with the top half of their body. Dad had to put a stop to it. He knew he'd never really have the courage to hit someone with a tr. So he threw that down on the grass and ran at the intruder. Instead, he might not be physically fit or capable, but he was slightly podgy. And the sheer en normative, his bulk ought to do some damage. He held himself through the air at the bottom and crashed, tackled the intruder head first into the bushes. Ah, screamy intruder. Oh, well dad, as whoever it was punched him in the face V could do. They both started struggling to their feet. And dad finally got to see the identity of his assailant. She was tall, beautiful and blonde Ingrid asked dad, Ingrid had lived next door for nearly two years, but dad still couldn't entirely be sure whether this was her because he never made eye contact with attractive women. If he could at all avoid it. He didn't make eye contact with unattractive women either, but he was particularly afraid of attractive ones. That's probably where Joe got it from. Ingrid was holding a shovel and breathing heavily. She looked a little disheveled from being thrust headfirst into a shrub, but that only enhanced her terrifying Nordic athleticism. Ya said Ingrid, which even dad could interpret was yes. What are you doing in my garden here? I know Loretta likes to come over and Brack things, but really, I don't think it's fair for you to do the same as well. Ingrid stared at dad for a long moment. She seemed to be trying to make a decision. Dad hoped it wasn't to hit him over the head with a shovel. Then he had a nasty thought. You are, you are not collective. Are you? He actually wi it at the idea. What am I asking you for? He added more talking to himself. You only speak Swedish. If you are collective, I should just run. He took a step backwards Ingrid's side and dropped the shovel. It's okay. She said holding up her hands in a non-threatening gesture. I just needed to hide something. I'm sorry. I couldn't let her find it. I thought it would be better to hide it over here. You speak English exclaim. Dad, Ingrid rolled her eyes. Everyone in Sweden speaks English. Then why did you let everyone believe that you can't ask dad people in this country? They talk too much said Ingrid. If they think I can't speak English, they live. If me alone, dad could relate to that. It was a clever idea. He was fluent in several Papua Guinean dialects. Perhaps he could pretend that was all he spoke. He looked over to his now partially crushed Ru Dru Bush, a blue shape caught his eye. Is that what you were hiding? He asked Ingrid actually blushed given that her hair was so blonde, it was almost white. Her now beat root red face stood out in contrast. Dad tilted his head so he could see the blue shape better. Is that a can of bug spray? He smiled. Dad loved spray. Now Ingrid looked ashamed. Please don't tell Loretta I reacted instinctively. I couldn't bear being in the house with that revolting creature. He sprayed. Loretta asked dad. Now he was just getting confused. No, I sprayed her cockroach said Ingrid. It was huge. And so disgusting. I couldn't night knowing it was in the next room. Dad's face lit up. I know exactly how you feel. I hate cockroaches too. You do said Ingrid. So relieved to find a kindred spirit. They're horrific disease. Carrying Jurassic mini monster said, dad, I know said Ingrid, but Dr. Vis or not, and paid a fortune for it. And Loretta loved it. I will lose my job. If they find out dad's face fell, he looked at the can. Then we'll have to dig a deeper hole. You don't want Vladimir kicking it up. When Loretta is so jumping in my garden, I've got a post hole Digger. We can put it three feet down and she'll never find it. Thank you. You explained Ingrid. Thank you so much. You won't tell anyone I speak English with you. I wouldn't dream of it said dad, the two of them said to work as thick of Steve's dad's hands, it stopped shaking again. It always made him feel better to be at work in the garden. And that's the end of the chapter. So we'll leave it there until next time. Goodbye.