Chapter 21 - Listen to Me - The Peski Kids 2, Bear in the Woods

April tried to warn everyone at the Good Times Cafe about the dangers of the bear in the wood. Dad gets a milkshake in the lap. And she gets another head injury.

Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/storiesraspratt

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:42

Hello, and welcome to bedtime stories with me, RA SPRAT. Okay. So we are reading one of my books, the pesky kids, two bear in the woods, and we're up to chapter 21. Listen to me. Okay, here we go. Joe fin and April were slumped around a booth at the good times cafe where they were supposed to be meeting up with dad and Loretta joy. The black clad perpetually miserable waitress brought them their milkshakes. The pesky kids looked almost as glamor as her. I can't believe how stupid people are in this town said April. We should send away some tap water for testing. If there are toxic heavy metals in the groundwater that would explain a lot joy glowed, even more miserably. She slammed a strawberry milkshake in front of April, or maybe the waitress at the local cafe has purposefully been poisoning. People said April glaring. Back at her. I heard that said joy taken out an earbud from her ear. I know said April, because I said it really loudly with my mouth pointed towards your face. I'm amazed. No one's poisoned. You said joy. I've got the constitution of an said, April. If I can survive a bear attack, I can survive anything they could tell joy was starting to get agitated because she pulled the second ear butt out. If patrons behave in an objectionable manner, the management reserves the right to ask them to leave. So joy clearly quoting something she'd been forced to learn. Are you saying you are the management here asked April because from the general level of grime, I would've guessed. No one was managing this rat-infested dump April, please don't get us banned. Beg Joe, they make really good bacon and egg rolls here. The chefs in charge said joy. I'll get him. If you don't behave. Is that a challenge asked April? No, no, no. So Joe, we're very happy here. Are you still saying you saw that bear Matilda vs. Nevers called over from the next booth where she was having lunch with her grandmother. I thought the shrink had given you therapy to cure you of that. You can't cure someone of a memory set April. Yeah. You could set fin pedantically if you hit them about the head hard enough and gave them amnesia. Mercifully April was distracted at that point because Loretta arrived with a tall suave businessman. Oh, who's that? As Matilda's grandmother instinctively pre in her hair, he's very attractive. He's too young for you. Nan said Matilda, April turned to see for herself. It took her a moment to figure out who it was. Oh, exclaimed, April. She's talking about dad. The tall suave businessman was in fact just dad. He was nearly unrecognizable in oppressed suit and neatly iron shirt. His hair and beard had been trimmed into something almost stylish. What have you done to our father? Demanded April improved him, said Loretta, proudly dad sit down and have some milkshake. Urch Joe. He knew he always found food comforting. When he'd been through something traumatic and from the haunted look in dad's eyes. He was pretty sure getting a makeover from Loretta had been traumatic for dad. Mr. Pesky needs to look his best settle. Loreta he'll be on stage in front of thousands of people tomorrow. Oh thousands, panic dad. There were 5,000 people at the festival last year. Settle. It's gonna be even bigger this year. They brought in extra honey cake from bong. So we won't run out. Thousands said April, I've gotta do something before it's too late. She started to clam her up on the table. What are you doing? Asked Finn St. In an intervention set April. She clapped her hands to get the attention of everyone in the cafe. People of Carl Wong and blowing tourists just here for the weekend. I call upon you to help me. Ugh. Great. Dad. April had inadvertently kicked her strawberry milkshake into dad's lap. Don't worry. Mr. Pesky said, Loretta handing him the entire napkin dispenser. I'm sure. Armani is milkshake resistant. Get off the table said joy. You can't stand up there. It's unhygienic. April, look down at the relentlessly GL waitress. I assure you that the SOS of my shoes are more hygienic than any surface in this restaurant. I can imagine how you pass any health inspections. I'm guessing you either pay an enormous bribe or the health inspector is too lazy to travel out to this backwater town, Joyce side. I warned you. She dropped over to behind the counter. People of Kara continued April addressing the patrons again. And tourists added Finn. Yeah, you too said April. You should be most concerned. You drove all the way out here thinking you'd get a nice day looking at daffodils in quaint country town. But little did you realize that you'd be in mortal peril by coming here? What's she going on about ask Matilda's grandmother? You don't wanna know. Nan said Matilda. I do wish she'd get on with it. Matilda's grandmother grumbled, my bacon and egg rolls getting cold. All of you are in danger said April dramatically, pumpkin barked in agreement. We know called out Curran from the other side of the restaurant. We're in danger of having our ankles bitten by your dog. Everyone in the restaurant, Sneed or laughed April hated being laughed at now. She was getting really angry. I'm serious at April. So we said, Kiran, hands up, anyone in here who's already been bitten, chased or peed on by that deranged little dog, Kiran held up his hand. Other hand started going up around the restaurant soon. Well over half the locals and even some of the tourists were holding their hand in the air. Joe and Finn looked at each other. They put their hands up too. Traits accused April Joe shrugged. It's only the truth. Defended Finn dad put your hand up. Why? Yes dad. He hadn't been paying attention. It was taking a lot of napkins to absorb the milkshake all over his pants. You have to put your hand up. If you've been bitten by pumpkin said Finn, but he didn't bite. My hand said, dad, he bit my bottom. Don't stick that in. The air said Joe, in alarm. Well, if you are all such sucky, Lalas about being nipped by a tiny dog. You're not gonna like it. When the big black bear I've seen in the woods, rips your head off declared April passionately. There was a moments pause. Then the entire restaurant erupted into rockus laughter people were slapping each other on the back and dabing away. Tears of hilarity, repeating April's words. Like they were the punchline to the funniest joke ever. Why are you laughing? April tried to yell over all the noise. One of you could die. One of your children could die or worse. One of your pets could die. I'm asking you politely to leave. Set a gravelly voice. April looked down at the largest scariest man she had ever seen. He was dressed in a white t-shirt apron cap and check pants. So clearly he was a chef, but he also had enormous bulging muscles. Most noticeably the swollen trapezoid muscles in his neck, which were covered in tattoos. Is that a tattoo of a jar of pickles asked April staring at the chef's neck. I like pickles. Grow the chef. Now, are you gonna get down from there and get out? Or am I gonna have to throw you out? I think we'd better. Leave said dad still fussing over his trousers and oblivious to what was going on before the protein in this milk congeals, the chef was holding a rolling pin in his hand that was twitching back and forth as he reflexively clenched and UN unclenched his hand, come on, April said Joe, getting up and ushering Finn outta the booth. We'd better go. I'm not intimidated by him said April. Although that's probably how he passed the health inspection. He threatened the inspector with physical violence. The chef made a move towards April, but Joe beat him to it. He grabbed April around the waist and lifted her off the table quickly carrying her towards the door April was facing back towards the restaurant. So she used the opportunity to give the patrons one last piece of her mind when you're all savaged to death by the bear. You'll look back on this moment. And remember that I told you thud April's dramatic exit had been ruined by Joe pulling open the door and stepping outside, which meant April was hit in the back of the head by the top of the door frame. Luckily this third blow to her head caused April to black out for a few seconds. So she didn't hear the restaurant erupt into laughter again. And that is the end of the chapter. So we'll leave it there until next time. Goodbye.