The Elephant's Child

I'm a bit sick, so to give myself a chance to rest, I've recorded a classic story by Rudyard Kipling. 'The Elephant's Child' was a favourite of mine when I was little. My Mum used to read it to me. I hope you like it too.

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to Bedtime Stories with me, RA Spratt. Alright, well, it's been an absolutely gorgeous day here in Barrel. It's not spring quite yet, but um the weather hasn't been told that because the weather was very spring-like today, and the flowers are starting to come out. You know, any day now we'll be getting the baby ducks, and um, it was just gorgeous. Uh now I have been incredibly busy. Uh this we're just coming into book week, the proper actual week of book week. So I'm flying down to Melbourne tomorrow because I'm visiting schools and a library in Melbourne um over the next uh uh from Monday to Friday. And uh the last week or two I've been in Sydney visiting schools, so it's been very, very busy, you know, full on. Doing three presentations a day is is really full on. And um I've been staying in hotels and driving, and I'm not very good at driving, I tend to get sleepy, so it's been pretty exhausting. I've had lots of work, so every weekend I come home and I have to catch up on my paperwork and I have to try and get the podcast done, and it's all sort of caught up with me this weekend, and I started to get sick. And I have so many presentations to do in the next week. I have um from Monday to Wednesday alone, I'm visiting um six schools and doing you know, two presentations at each one. So um I I really needed to spend this weekend looking after myself and also spending some time with my family because I've been away so much. So um I was not able to finish writing the podcast episode for this week. At the moment, I'm writing the story of Achilles when he finally confronts Hector for killing his best friend, and you know, it's it's good. I've written half of it and it's gonna be a great episode, but um, I just thought I needed to like sleep in and get some rest and um to for the big week ahead, and I wasn't able to finish that. Um so then I had to debate, well, what am I gonna do for this week's episode? Should I play a rerun? I've got I've got uh an extract of the next Friday Barnes audiobook that's coming out, and I was that's gonna be next week's episode, but I thought, no, it should be next week's episode because that's when the audiobook actually comes out. So then, but then I started to think about uh a long time ago, when I was uh coming up with ideas for the podcast and I was looking for stories that Nanny Pickens could retell, one of the stories I looked at was the Just So Stories by Rajah Kipling. And um, because I always read them as a kid as a girl and Ricky Tiki Davy and all these stories that Rajah Kiplin wrote for children. Um, and if you're wondering who Rajar Kiplin is, uh he wrote the jungle book, and I actually mentioned him quite a while back in an episode um when I was talking all about vegetarian spiders and and wind-blown tofu being sent into spiders' webs. And at the end I I I mentioned that I'd done some research and there actually is a vegetarian spider, and it's called the Begeera Kiplingi, which is named after Rajah Kipling and his fictional character Big Begira. Anyway, I totally digress. I do love a digression. But um, so I was thinking, oh, I should do some Rogar Kipling stories as told by Nanny Pickens for the podcast. This was a couple of years ago, and I ordered a collection of the just so stories from my local bookshop, the Bookshop Barrel, and it came in and I read them because I hadn't read them, you know, my mother read them to me as I was a child. And when I read them, I realized they weren't really suitable for um adapting into Nanny Piggin's stories because they were already so good, number one, and also really funny. And the thing is, when I adapt stories into Nanny Piggin's stories, um I'm a comedy writer, so I want to make a funny story. And if you're adapting something to make a funny story, actually, ironically, what you really need is a serious story. To make a serious story funny is anyway, that's how it works. If you're a comedy writer, it's much easier to make a serious story into a funny story. You can't really transform a funny story into a funny story because really Rajah Kiplin's already done a better job than I would do. So I thought, you know, I should just read you Rajah Kiplin's version. It's out of copyright, so I can do that. And it's just such a beautiful story. And he's a great, great um storyteller in written form because he does all these amazing things with rhythm and assonance and a little and alliteration. Um, assonance and alliteration, they're sort of like, you know, how you have rhyme where things, the ending of words are the same. Well, assonance and alliteration, um, that's when the the middle or the beginning of words sounds the same. So he uses all these sort of uh repetition techniques that no editor would let you do today. Like when you write a book today, editors are always going through and they're taking out anything where there's repetition. So anyway, I was reading this story and thinking it's just too good for me to change into a nanny piggin story. So I just left it alone. And this was a couple of years ago. And now here I find myself at home today, and I'm I'm you know, a bit sick, and um I know I shouldn't like wear myself out by trying to write a new story because I should look after myself. And I was and I was thinking, what am I gonna do? And then I thought, this this is literally, this book has been sitting on my bedside table for about two or three years, and I thought, well, how about this week be the week where I read uh Rajah Kipling's story? So I'm gonna read my absolute favorite one from when I was a little girl, and it's called The Elephant's Child. Okay, just one more thing before we get into it. Um, if you're listening to this and you're listening closely, you may hear in the background some some pulsating beats, and you may think, oh, is R. Ray Sprat trying to do some sort of African um sound effects to give mood to her story? No, it's nothing as sophisticated as that. Uh what's happening is one of my neighbours has turned 60 and he's having a birthday party, and he's he lives about oh, 50 metres from my house. Um, because it's a small town, everyone knows everybody, so I know that this is this is the case. And he's having a party and he's playing music quite loudly. So you can just sort of hear that. I don't know if you'll be able to hear it through the microphone, but I can certainly hear it as I'm sitting here. Um but there's nothing I can do because I'm gonna I've got to go fly to Melbourne tomorrow, so this is my last chance to record this episode. So we're just gonna um persevere, and we're gonna pretend that his 60th birthday party music is all part of my African soundscape. Alright, well let's get into it. This is one of my favourite stories when I was a little girl, Raja Kipling's story, The Elephant's Child. In the high and far off times, the elephant, O best beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side. But he couldn't pick up things with it, but there was one elephant, a new elephant, an elephant's child, who was full of satiable curiosity, and that meant he asked ever so many questions. And he lived in Africa, and he filled all Africa with his satiable curiosities. He asked his tall aunt the ostrich why her tail feathers grew just so, and his tall aunt the ostrich spanked him with her hard, hard claw. He asked his tall uncle the giraffe what made his skin spotty, and his tall uncle the giraffe spanked him with his hard, hard hoof. And still he was full of satiable curiosity. He asked his broad aunt, the hippopotamus, why her eyes were red, and his broad aunt, the hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad hoof. And he asked his hairy uncle, the baboon, why melons tasted just so and his hairy uncle, the baboon, spanked him with his hairy, hairy paw. And still he was full of satiable curiosity. He asked questions about everything that he saw or heard or felt or smelt or touched, and his uncles and his aunts spanked him. And still he was full of satiable curiosity. One fine morning, in the middle of the procession of the equinoxes, this satiable elephant's child asked a new fine question that he had never asked before. He asked, What does the crocodile have for dinner? Then everybody said, Hush in a loud and dreadful tone, and they spanked him immediately and directly, without stopping for a long time. By and by, when that was finished, he came upon a Kolo Collobird sitting in the middle of a wait a bit thorn bush, and he said My father has spanked me, and my mother has spanked me, and all my aunts and uncles have spanked me for my satiable curiosity, and still I want to know what the crocodile has for dinner. Then Kolo Colo bird said, with a mournful cry, Go to the banks of the great grey green, greasy Limpopa river, all set about with fever trees and find out. That very next morning, when there was nothing left of the Iquinoxes, because the procession had proceeded, according to the precedent, this satiable elephant's child took a hundred pounds of bananas, the little short red kind, and a hundred pounds of sugar cane, the long purple kind, and seventeen melons, the green, crackly kind, and said to all his dear families, Goodbye, I am going to the great grey green, greasy limpopo river, all set about with fever trees, to find out what the crocodile has for dinner. And they all spanked him once more for luck, though he asked them most politely to stop. Then he went away, a little warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons and throwing the rind about because he could not pick it up. He went from Graham's town to Kimberley, and from Kimberley to Karma's country, and from Karma's country he went east by north, eating melons all the time, till at last he came to the banks of the great grey green, greasy Limpopo river, all set about with fever trees, precisely as Kolo Colo Bird had said. Now you must know and understand, O best beloved, that till that very week and day and hour and minute, this satiable elephant's child had never seen a crocodile, and did not know what one was like. It was all his satiable curiosity. The first thing that he found was a bicoloured python rock snake curled around a rock. Excuse me, said the elephant's child most politely, but have you seen such a thing as a crocodile in these promiscuous parts? Have I seen a crocodile? said the bicoloured python rock snake, in a voice of dreadful scorn. What will you ask me next? Excuse me, said the elephant's child, but could you kindly tell me what he has for dinner? Then the bicoured python rock snake uncoiled himself very quickly from the rock, and spanked the elephant's child with his scalesome flailsome tail. That is odd, said the elephant's child, because my father and my mother, and my uncle and my aunt, not to mention my other aunt, the hippopotamus, and my other uncle, the baboon, have all spanked me for my satiable curiosity, and I suppose this is the same thing. So he said goodbye, very politely, to the bi coloured python rock snake, and helped to coil him up on the rock again, and went on, a little warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons and throwing the rind about, because he could not pick it up, till he trod on what he thought was a log of wood at the very edge of the great grey green, greasy limpopo river, all set about with fever trees. But it was really the crocodile, oh best beloved. And the crocodile winked one eye like this. Excuse me, said the elephant's child, most politely. But do you happen to have seen a crocodile in these promiscuous parts? Then the crocodile winked the other eye and lifted half his tail out of the mud, and the elephant's child stepped back most politely, because he did not wish to be spanked again. Come hither, little one, said the crocodile. Why do you ask such things? Excuse me, said the elephant's child, most politely. But my father has spanked me. My mother has spanked me, not to mention my tall aunt the ostrich, and my tall uncle the giraffe, who can kick ever so hard, as well as my broad aunt, the hippopotamus, and my hairy uncle, the baboon, and including the bicoloured python rock snake, with the scales, some flails, some tail just up the bank, who spanks harder than any of them. And so, if it's quite all the same with you, I don't want to be spanked any more. Come hither, little one, said the crocodile, for I am the crocodile. And he wept crocodile tears to show it was quite true. Then the elephant's child grew all breathless and panted and kneeled down on the bank and said, You are the very person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me what you have for dinner? Come hither, little one, said the crocodile, and I'll whisper. Then the elephant's child put his head down close to the crocodile's musky, tusky mouth, and the crocodile caught him by his little nose, which, up till that very week, day, hour, and minute, had been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful. I think, said the crocodile, and he said it between his teeth like this, I think today I will begin with Elephant's Child. At this, O best beloved, the Elephant's child was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose like this, Let go, you are hurting me. Then the bicoloured python rock snake scuffled down from the bank and said, My young friend, if you do not immediately now, instantly, pull as hard as ever you can. It is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large patterned leather ulster, and by this he meant the crocodile, will jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can save Jack Robinson. This is the way bicoloured python rock snakes always talk. Then the elephant's child sat back on his little haunches and pulled and pulled and pulled, and his nose began to stretch. And the crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail, and he pulled and pulled and pulled. And the elephant's child's nose kept on stretching, and the elephant's child spread all his little fore legs and pulled and pulled and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching. And the crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he pulled and pulled and pulled, and at each pull the elephant's child's nose grew longer and longer. And it hurt him Then the elephant's child felt his legs slipping, and he said through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long This is too much for me. Then the bicoured python rock snake came down from the bank and knotted himself in a double clove hitch around the elephant's child's hind legs, and said Rash and inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension, because if we do not, it is my impression that yonder self propelled man of war with the armor plated upper deck, and by this, O best beloved, he meant the crocodile, will permanently vitiate your future career. That is the way all bicoloured python rock snakes always talk. So he pulled and the elephant's child pulled, and the crocodile pulled, but the elephant's child and the bicoloured python rock snake pulled hardest. And at last the crocodile let go of the elephant's child's nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the limpopo. Then the elephant's child sat down most hard and sudden, but first he was very careful to say thank you to the bicoloured python rock snake. And next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it up all in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great grey green, greasy limpopo to cool. What are you doing that for? said the bicoloured python rock snake. Excuse me, said the elephant's child, but my nose is badly out of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink. Then you will wait a long time, said the bicoloured python rock snake. Some people do not know what is good for them. The elephant's child sat there for three days, waiting for his nose to shrink, but it never grew any shorter. And besides, it made him squint. For, O best beloved, you will see and understand that the crocodile had pulled it out into a really truly trunk, same as all elephants have today. At the end of the third day, a fly came and stung him on the shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing, he lifted up his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it. Vantage number one, said the bicoured python rock snake. You couldn't have done that with a mere smear nose. Now, try and eat a little. Before he could think what he was doing, the elephant's child put out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean against his forelegs, and stuffed it into his own mouth. Vantage number two, said the bicoloured python rock snake. You couldn't have done that with a mere smear nose. Don't you think the sun is very hot here? It is, said the elephant's child, and before he thought what he was doing, he slooped up a sloop of mud from the banks of the great grey green greasy limpopo, and slapped it on his own head, where it made a cool, sloopy, sloshy mud cap all trickly behind his ears. Vantage number three, said the bicoloured python rock snake. You couldn't have done that with a mere smear nose. Now, how do you feel about being spanked again? Excuse me, said the elephant's child, but I should not like it at all. How would you like to spank somebody? said the bicoloured python rock snake. I should like it very much, said the elephant's child. Well, said the bicoured python rock snake, you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with. Thank you, said the elephant's child. I'll remember that. And now I think I'll go home to all my dear families and try. So the elephant's child went home across Africa, frisking and whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat, he pulled fruit down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass, he plucked grass up from the ground, instead of going on his knees as he used to do. When the flies bit him, he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as a fly whisk, and he made himself a new, cool, slushy, squashy mud cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt lonely walking through Africa, he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands. He went especially out of his way to find a broad hippopotamus. She was no relation of his, and he spanked her very hard to make sure that the bicoloured python rock snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rides that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo, for he was a tidy pack of derm. One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he coiled up his trunk and said, How do you do? They were all very glad to see him, and immediately said, Come here and be spanked for your satiable curiosity. Pooh, said the elephant's child, I don't think you peoples know anything about spanking. But I do, and I'll show you. Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels. Oh bananas, said they. Where did you learn that trick? And what have you done to your nose? I got a new one from the crocodile, on the banks of the great grey green, greasy limpopo, said the elephant's child. I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep. It looks very ugly, said his hairy uncle, the baboon. It does, said the elephant's child, but it's very useful. And he picked up his hairy uncle, the baboon, by one hairy leg and hove him into a hornet's nest. Then that bad elephant's child spanked all his dear families for a long time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He pulled out his tall ostrich aunt's tail feathers, and he caught his tall uncle the giraffe by the hind leg and dragged him through a thorn bush, and he shouted at his broad aunt the hippopotamus, and blew bubbles into her ears when she was sleeping in the water after meals. But he never let anyone touch Kolo Colo Bird. At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey green, greasy Limpopo river, all set about with fever trees to borrow new noses from the crocodile. When they came back, nobody spanked anybody anymore. And ever since that day, oh best beloved, all the elephants you will ever see, besides all those that you won't, have trunks precisely like the trunk of the satiable elephant's child. Alright, and we'll leave it there. So there you go, that's an example of the type of story I used to love when I was a kid. And maybe you can see how with the humor in that story and the use of rhythm and language, how that would have inspired the type of stories that I write. Alright, well, that's it for now. Next week we're gonna have a Friday Barn story, and the week after that we'll come back with the Iliad and the story of Achilles confronting Hector. Alright, well, that's it for now. Until next week, goodbye.