Salty and Spice discuss "Magic Words", pre-arranged words or phrases that mean "do what I say, right now, I will explain later". Go to Beans, Bullets, Bandages & You by clicking HERE!
Salty and Spice discuss "Magic Words", pre-arranged words or phrases that mean "do what I say, right now, I will explain later". Go to Beans, Bullets, Bandages & You by clicking HERE!
spk_0: 0:01
Hello, everybody.
spk_1: 0:02
Hello, everybody, and welcome to the show. The big show is most important in critically acclaimed but guessed that is recorded in our car. And today we are on a winding, twisty, hilly road That's not nearly as bad as the last time I drove it when it was the ice covered, because Missouri doesn't really maintain their roots very well when they're not main roads. But this is not a main road. We're in the middle of nowhere heading north Iowa, and way just did something that you did not see because it happened before the podcast. We start the podcast start recorder, and then we let it sit for about 20 to 30 seconds so that our microphones, which are on our faces we have the heads that microbes can record the ambient sounds of the car driving down the road. Whatever wind happens to be hitting the side of the road, the car, all that stuff. And then I could put it in the noise reduction software to reduce the home and the hiss and the bad noises, at least some. Okay, and we have a hand signal that I hold up a closed fist which of our holds are stopping hold symbol. And then, as we're getting ready to start the actual podcast, I count down with my fingers. Three one. And then I pointed her. And then she says,
spk_0: 1:19
Hello, everybody.
spk_1: 1:20
Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show The big show. And then we go into our into our prefabricated Should be spiel feel I'd be a lousy German, wouldn't I can't. I can't like crowd can't. You can't do the German stuff. So anyway, why do I bring this up? Sometimes I
spk_0: 1:44
bring this up because sometimes you just have a minimum of time to express something. And you need to have your partner in crime follow direction quickly and efficiently.
spk_1: 1:57
Or sometimes you just can't talk out loud or don't want to talk out loud or again. Can't talk out loud because you're like under this under the ocean. Yes, And like are our personal language. Cave language is not a BSO um are the baby so standard, like 80 s sell some kind of Internet. Sorry, techie guy. It's not that we don't use the sign language. Not that were opposed to it. We just don't know it. We basically use Ah, modified diving target with our hand signals. And so the fist held up we hold or stop, except when it doesn't except when it doesn't and we'll come back to that. There's a situation where it really didn't mean hold or stop, and it's very funny. But let's get on with the We'll do a diversion later, probably unless we forget to do it. And then we won't tell you. But it's funny, so we should pull it.
spk_0: 2:57
What brought this up is Ah. Recently, one of our contributors was talking about and salty collaborated on a piece on what Children need to know. And it occurred to me that there was one big element in there that hadn't been covered, and it didn't only apply to kids, but it applied to adults equally well. And it's something that's been in salty and I's life for a long time now. When you are in an emergency situation, sometimes you don't have time to explain. You don't have time for argument. You don't have time for disagreement. You really just need to have people respond right away and without complaint. I am struck by one time when we were pulling the slide in camper out of our pickup truck. And at one point in the process, the lake, holding up one corner of the camper, started to fold.
spk_1: 3:52
Yeah, pro Con
spk_0: 3:53
and salty was left holding this camper above his head. It was on three other stands, but
spk_1: 4:00
But he was like I was the fourth leg and it was heavy. But there's a full full slide in camper that takes a 3/4 ton pickup truck. Dog is a big one.
spk_0: 4:13
So when he started telling me what to do, I just shut up and did it as quickly as efficiently as possible, because then was clearly not the time for argument. But sometimes it's not quite as evidence as somebody trying to hold a camper above their head that there's no time for argument. You might need to communicate do other people in your household. Right now we do it. I'll explain later, and that needs to be arranged and agreed on in advance. So everybody knows I've got a magic word. Not that there's anything magic about it, but it's just a You might call it a safe word, something ever raise yeah or phrase
spk_1: 4:54
it need to be short and easy to say,
spk_0: 4:57
and he didn't remember. We're not trying to be tricky code stuff here,
spk_1: 5:01
but it has to be absolutely, positively do what I say and do it now
spk_0: 5:11
and never, ever abuse that phrase, right, because if it's abused even once, you can no longer depend on it ever again.
spk_1: 5:18
And it's critically important that you don't Do you think this is a This is a life and death phrase or a save big hassle phrase. It's the look. I know what I'm doing here. I do not have time to explain this. In this current situation, I'll explain it later, but for right now, we've got to do this phrase.
spk_0: 5:44
In my opinion, it's really only appropriate when two conditions are met. One of the people has information, the other one doesn't which is critical to really understanding what's going on. And there is no time to communicate that information and so immediate compliance is the only good answer. And if those two conditions aren't met, then it's not a time to use the
spk_1: 6:06
eye. We both know our personal phrase, and we'll be glad to share it with you, not means nothing to you, probably, but it's our personal face, but I cannot remember the last time we used it.
spk_0: 6:19
It's been a long time because
spk_1: 6:20
those come up off, but we
spk_0: 6:23
would both adhere to it. We both have adhere to it every time it came up.
spk_1: 6:28
But we also kind of sort of have a secondary. It's not even really a phrase. It's a secondary hand. Figures are hold symbol. Stop and hold is not quite to that level of do this now, but it's pretty close. I mean, when somebody when one of the tubas gives the stopping whole hand signal the other one stops and holes because there's a good reason for it. No, that reason maybe. Stop it. Hold. We need to discuss or stop it hold. You're about to step off into into the abyss. You know it, but it's not an urgent
spk_0: 7:09
well can be urgent. Yeah,
spk_1: 7:11
but you can't touch it right away. But it is something where you just stop it. Hold.
spk_0: 7:16
I think it now is the time for the diversion because it's important when you have these signals that everybody is completely clear on what they mean. We ran into trouble on that one. Once we did. I think
spk_1: 7:27
it was perfectly reasonable, but it was a matter of interpretation.
spk_0: 7:32
Yeah, we were. We were diving,
spk_1: 7:34
but we were saying two different things with the same signal.
spk_0: 7:36
And obviously we can't communicate verbally. One, we're under the water down in this cavern
spk_1: 7:42
right now. We're inside of a cave. We're actually in the cave part of a cave. And in this cave, there are eels and these eels or what? 34 feet long, but they got razor sharp teeth. They're freshwater eels. That razor sharp teeth. And
spk_0: 7:58
some of the divers feed the eels. Yeah, they actually sell little Vienna sausages. A little dive shop right next to there. So you can feed bills.
spk_1: 8:06
You can actually feed the eel out of your hand.
spk_0: 8:09
And they have a tradition of feeding him either Cheez Whiz, out of a can, which
spk_1: 8:12
is kind of cheese with the year will. Come on. It's getting kind of fun to play with.
spk_0: 8:17
Yeah, or you feed him a little Vienna sausages. So I'm there floating still in the water, watching a freshwater lobster do its thing.
spk_1: 8:26
She's got her light on her hand. which we have multiple life scheduled time. She had a small light on that hand.
spk_0: 8:33
So salty gets my attention and he makes the closed fist stop signal. So I immediately stopped and I echo the signal back.
spk_1: 8:41
The closed fist is I'm holding up my my fist and then all fingers are is in a fist. I mean, it's not like just a holding up my hand with all fingers, all five fingers up. It's a fist.
spk_0: 8:53
Yeah. So I'm left handed. I make the signal with my left hand, and I stopped and I watched to see what the issue is, and he shakes me off and he makes a signal again, and I check my drift to make sure I'm actually still and I confirm I am. And I make the signal back and he shakes me off a can. And I'm like, what? I'm still already I'm still, uh, good.
spk_1: 9:20
We'll come back to that like, Wow.
spk_0: 9:24
And then he shakes me off again, and he changes the signal to one that looks like something biting and sliding through the water. And I look back and there's an eel, a four foot long eel. I in my right hand, which was dangling behind me with my fingers. Loosen the water
spk_1: 9:41
looking a whole lot like looking at my fingers like
spk_0: 9:44
they're Vienna sausage
spk_1: 9:46
and heels aren't real bright.
spk_0: 9:47
And he holds up one hand, too, with the fingers loose and makes the bitey signal at my fingers and then makes a fist out of the dangling fingers. And I'm like, Oh,
spk_1: 9:59
closure dead dumb hand before the deal takes your little finger off. Yeah,
spk_0: 10:04
so that he'll slit up behind me and was contemplating taking a bite out of my fingers. And in that particular case, the closed fist mint. There's an eel who thinks you're fingers look like Vienna sausages.
spk_1: 10:15
So you know you can't talk underwater.
spk_0: 10:18
That was not my original interpretation,
spk_1: 10:20
right? And, you know, at this point in time in the cave Now you gotta throw in some other things here at this point in the time of the cave, you know, weren't like 90 feet down and we've been there a little while. I am, you know, a little large, a little dark. You get down to these caves, you get 90 100 feet down, you start grooving on it. A little bit, you know, Get the narc going on.
spk_0: 10:42
Nitrogen narcosis is a mile state of euphoria and lack of tension caused by nitrogen affecting your brain.
spk_1: 10:51
I came here. I thought about what it be like to get a dark narc in a cave.
spk_0: 10:55
Yeah, that's part of the reason we took the safety diver. Course,
spk_1: 10:59
it's true. But anyway, what we were doing about back there is it's February. It's calving season. And apparently a calf died. Okay?
spk_0: 11:07
Or it might have been just after birth. Tend to look like afterbirth.
spk_1: 11:11
Hopefully, it was afterbirth. That's not nearly a zoo. Um, there was an eagle after eating it. A bald eagle, which people don't realize the eagles are scavengers. They are. They're like buzzards, but not quite as bad as buzzard. But
spk_0: 11:24
they certainly will fish for themselves. But they also are happy to eat carrion.
spk_1: 11:28
Yeah, so anyway Ah, so, yeah. So sometimes there can be misunderstanding. Obviously, if you're out, not in the water and you hold up your hand, you know, you could say Hey, stop. Hey,
spk_0: 11:43
It would actually be best not to use that particular signal since it's so meaning for for us. for anything else, right? But it's just the thing that came naturally to his mind when he saw my fingers about to get one,
spk_1: 11:54
right. We have other signals that we use personally that come from diving. If you're if you're if you're diver and you either put both hands up above your head in a big circle or one hand on
spk_0: 12:06
your head
spk_1: 12:06
and have your arm in a circle, that means Okay, there you go. Up there in that tree. Um, this is Eagle Central. That's the nest.
spk_0: 12:15
Yeah, they've got a big nest,
spk_1: 12:17
a nest, and I need to remember where this place is. Wow. That's a beautiful big one injury. Yeah, And it's something I can actually shoot right
spk_0: 12:27
on the creek side.
spk_1: 12:28
I'm sorry. We're assaulted. I waited. There was just a beautiful eagle nest there, pressing right along. I'm usually distracted.
spk_0: 12:38
We have the other signals.
spk_1: 12:42
Yeah, so look. Okay, that works out. Great. We're on a trail and I see somebody there. She's a mile away, but I could still fear if she raises her hands up above her head. I raised my hands off. We could tell were okay. Go on. So
spk_0: 12:57
It's nice to have that communication value there.
spk_1: 13:00
You just think that we know and, you know, we've been together for for 60 years now. Uh, no. 35. It just feels like 60.
spk_0: 13:09
You all knew that was coming. Come on.
spk_1: 13:13
Anyway. Sorry. I just turned 10 guy points from that. Um, yeah, we've been together long enough that, you know, we finish each other's sentences and you know, this is the stuff that you d'oh, but
spk_0: 13:27
especially for people who tend to in their normal course of events, we are not in the habit of Boston one another around. It's not something we do ever. So when one of us does get imperative and bossy, it is attention getting, and we generally do it first and ask questions later. But not every relationship is that way. Some people tend to make imperatives as, um or natural habit of living. And in those cases, their family members might not be inclined to immediately follow every bit of direction. So in those cases, you need to have a clear way to communicate that now is not the time. Four. We don't have the leisure to argue about this one. Do it right now, you need a clear signal to community that
spk_1: 14:13
this is important for Children to know, too. Yeah, especially virtual.
spk_0: 14:17
And you have to have the Children pay attention when you use it, and you should pay attention to it when the Children used
spk_1: 14:23
right, and they they actually will learn from you. Use it the right way if you use it the right way. If you abuse it, Yeah,
spk_0: 14:32
If you If you use this to stop an argument just because you don't want to have the argument game over, it's never kind of work reliably again because people don't like to be bossed around like
spk_1: 14:45
that. Well, most people
spk_0: 14:47
complete obedience is a sign of either extreme trust or extreme here. And I hope it's not the ladder. So you have to maintain the trust. If you want the immediate obedience,
spk_1: 15:00
I'm gonna share a little love. There's also don't go there word okay, that people use these. It baffles me that people who consider themselves decent every day family type people do this to people. They suppose that the glove they use inflammatory words. Now I This is beyond the pale of what we're trying to do here. Obviously, we're not marriage counselors, but I would personally say, if you're into using words that you know are going to be counterproductive to your spouse,
spk_0: 15:38
don't push the buttons,
spk_1: 15:39
don't push their buttons, just pushed their buttons because you will lose purchase with them. You will lose your purchase with them. They will win, the chips are down and you need to go. You need to communicate with a view bins that they're pushing their buttons. You. That ship has sailed. It could cost people their lives. And you do that. I know, for example, exactly what I can and cannot say to this one. Over in the passenger seat. I know, for example, I once told her, Shut up, I once I told her,
spk_0: 16:19
and it's sure to say it again. I would immediately shut up and wait until I figured out what the situation was,
spk_1: 16:24
because she knows I will not be doing that
spk_0: 16:26
because he won't do it casually. If he's doing it, it's because it's absolute needed right then and give him the benefit of the doubt until decision was clear.
spk_1: 16:35
And that is, I still, even though I know that I was still not tell her to shut up. I would do it another way. I would use our phrase, and then I used the words silence and which is just It's a nicer way of doing it. I'm saying we have our friends. I don't really think we're gonna even tell you what it is. I don't really want it out there. It's just a common thing. I'll tell you, it's something like like something like I mean, this guy, it's not that, but something like that.
spk_0: 17:07
It's the meat that's the content of the expression.
spk_1: 17:09
I mean this silence. That's our friends. But it is a pre configured phrase. It isn't just some random Oh, I mean, those, I mean, that is our
spk_0: 17:20
something would come
spk_1: 17:21
to reschedule for centuries. Eyes like a check off in football. Not Anton Chekhov writer or check off the Star Trek guy, but a check off in football. Quarterback looks around, looks around, looks around, and he sees he's got single coverage. Gronkowski on a five foot nine backup cornerback check check. Boom. He'll look over a drunk if it's Brady and I'm we're not Patriot fans at all. I'm just just happened in the Super Bowl. Looks over there. He sees the match up there. Boom. He checks right to it. That's what we're talking about. You we have.
spk_0: 17:58
It's automatic
spk_1: 17:59
automatic. Through this situation occurs, we automatically go to a check down situation. We're checking off the list. We're checking off the coverage and we gotta check down, boom, audible
spk_0: 18:11
and some situations that come up often. We have special Worker like if we're driving, and one of us says the word dear by itself were not being affectionate. There's a deer in the ditch that's about to jump up and run over the road, and one of us have seen it and the other one hasn't and the driver will start breaking immediately and looking around
spk_1: 18:30
really breaking,
spk_0: 18:31
Yeah, breaking appropriately. But that's oh, when we use that phrase for when we're driving. So you have to have these clarified with everybody and you have to not abuse him. That's the main point, and we're not parents, so we try not to get all people should do it this way when they have kids. But I remember when I was a kid, there were certain words are parents would say where arguments stopped and compliance followed right away. Not because somebody's head was about to explode in anger was about to be released or anything. It was just They had certain things, they said, to get our attention and a lot of snow. It had to happen right now very handy. When a skunk comes wandering through your campsite, she would rather not have your tent sprayed. That's one instance. I recall the expression being used and about. I come from a big family. There were six of us kids there on that camping trip, probably, and it looked like a massive game of freeze tag. When the phrase came out, everybody literally frozen place in whatever strange position they happen to be in and looked over at Mom who'd uttered the phrase and she pointedly looked at the skunk. And we all got the message on what was going on and could react appropriately
spk_1: 19:53
because nobody wants skunked. No, nobody was.
spk_0: 19:58
Nobody wants your tent skunked on at the beginning of a vacation,
spk_1: 20:01
you know nobody wants.
spk_0: 20:03
So it worked. The skunk ambled through our camp, lengthy king of creation that he is with nobody bothering him, and he was nice and civil. A skunks usually are when they're nobody bothering them. Wandered back out the other side and we resumed our regularly scheduled vacation. It could have gone badly without the expression. So that's the kind of thing I'm talking about.
spk_1: 20:25
You last right over
spk_0: 20:25
there and I see Yeah, and it worked because we all knew that's what that phrase was. Four. And that's the only time that phrase came out. Except for we. Occasionally, they would use it just as a reminder and training kind of thing. But it was always a brief. Okay, you did a good job on we go with our lives. It was never used as a stick to Badger Peep into behaving the way they didn't want to behave when it wasn't important.
spk_1: 20:56
Because, frankly, if it did, it would lose its value. Yeah, these air phrases that you just don't ever use casually ever.
spk_0: 21:05
Yeah, you might want to use them for practice, but you want to have the bounds of what that is about. Clear ahead of time, man. Those eagles built very bigness.
spk_1: 21:18
Must have about 20 chicks
spk_0: 21:21
anyway. That's what I had. I hope you all have that means of rapid and immediate communication. And you honor it among all family members because we have found it the exceptionally used on occasion.
spk_1: 21:35
All right, well, thank you for listening. We appreciate it. And we will catch you the next time. Right now, we're going to stop in our favorite. So they're in Iowa
spk_0: 21:44
men and a girl
spk_1: 21:45
in the night grocery story money because it really is a cheap place. We'll talk to you later.