WEBVTT 00:00:02.023 --> 00:00:09.814 Had you actually read the email, you would know that the podcast you are about to listen to could contain explicit language and offensive content. 00:00:09.814 --> 00:00:16.480 These HR experts' views are not representative of their past, present or future employers. 00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:19.687 If you have ever heard my manager is unfair to me. 00:00:19.687 --> 00:00:26.548 I need you to reset my HR portal password, or Can I write up my employee for crying too much? 00:00:26.548 --> 00:00:28.864 Welcome to our little safe zone. 00:00:28.864 --> 00:00:31.170 Welcome to Jaded HR. 00:00:52.840 --> 00:00:58.378 Welcome to Jaded HR, the podcast by two HR professionals who want to help you get through to workday by saying everything you're thinking, but say it out loud. 00:00:58.378 --> 00:01:02.731 I'm Warren, I'm Cece, right, so you're sounding so much better, yay. 00:01:04.322 --> 00:01:06.149 I feel alive. 00:01:06.149 --> 00:01:12.144 Look at me, I'm not nasally, I'm not hacking. 00:01:12.144 --> 00:01:13.129 This is great. 00:01:14.521 --> 00:01:15.623 No, the last episode. 00:01:15.623 --> 00:01:23.810 There was only one call if I couldn't edit out in the last episode, so, but everything else was just fine overall. 00:01:23.829 --> 00:01:28.126 You're welcome America, Feel my hacks. 00:01:29.621 --> 00:01:33.391 I promised last Thursday the Office Episode 2 thing. 00:01:33.391 --> 00:01:38.611 I programmed it to launch on May 24th, 2026. 00:01:38.611 --> 00:01:44.067 I don't know, I spat, fingered it and I'm like why and the thing is it made me notice it. 00:01:44.067 --> 00:01:50.405 It, and I'm like why and the thing is it made me notice it. 00:01:50.405 --> 00:01:57.828 Uh, april is going to be a very high month for downloads of the podcast and I was like, oh, and then we're going to have and because we're going to have an extra episode this month, that'll just take us up. 00:01:57.828 --> 00:02:00.623 We might have a record for downloads for the month of april. 00:02:01.084 --> 00:02:03.268 But I look, why, why did it happen? 00:02:03.268 --> 00:02:04.549 We any downloads? 00:02:04.549 --> 00:02:09.588 And I look and I can see it there, and then I have to actually click on it to see that and it says zero downloads. 00:02:09.588 --> 00:02:10.681 I'm like I don't know. 00:02:10.681 --> 00:02:13.165 Yeah, 2026. 00:02:13.165 --> 00:02:15.129 So you won't have to wait that long. 00:02:15.129 --> 00:02:16.292 I've changed it. 00:02:16.292 --> 00:02:20.784 It is going to be a week from this after this episode and it will be airing. 00:02:20.784 --> 00:02:23.228 It's gone, it is set up with the correct date. 00:02:23.228 --> 00:02:24.008 Y'all will get that. 00:02:24.008 --> 00:02:46.032 And then, two weeks after that, we will have the office benefits or not, yeah, benefits episode, which is awesome, and I I think that's another episode that highlights the struggles of hr, because oh, benefit, hr is easy and I can do benefits and I could know you don't know what you're doing benefits and things like that. 00:02:48.223 --> 00:02:52.564 As you all know, I've started a new role, so there's a lot going into that. 00:02:52.564 --> 00:03:02.372 Other than learning what you're actually doing, there's also getting your benefits set up and then rolling over your what is it? 00:03:02.372 --> 00:03:03.373 The retirement plans. 00:03:03.373 --> 00:03:15.924 And I had just signed the family up for benefits and my, my husband, had some questions and he's like, oh, for some reason the dentist says that they're, we don't have that coverage. 00:03:15.924 --> 00:03:21.522 And I'm like, no, and I thought that I I panicked because I signed up for something wrong, yada, yada. 00:03:21.522 --> 00:03:27.593 And the benefits guy is like, no, that doctor's just probably out of network. 00:03:27.593 --> 00:03:33.169 And I'm like, oh, oh, my gosh, I felt like an idiot. 00:03:33.169 --> 00:03:37.542 I'm sure the benefits department is like why is this person in our hr team? 00:03:37.542 --> 00:03:41.769 Well, you know apparently I don't understand benefits. 00:03:42.710 --> 00:03:45.935 Yeah, like I said, that's not your niche. 00:03:45.935 --> 00:03:51.227 I would forgive you if that were my team. 00:03:51.326 --> 00:03:54.431 Yeah, yeah, I felt stupid. 00:03:55.554 --> 00:03:57.246 Yeah, and dental is one of those things. 00:03:57.246 --> 00:04:18.786 I personally feel someone who deals with benefits regularly there's not much difference between any of the dental plans, really between MetLife or Delta Dental or you just go down the list of all the top dental providers, they're so interchangeable. 00:04:18.786 --> 00:04:27.822 But the difference is the networks, and I think dentists move and change networks much more than doctors. 00:04:27.822 --> 00:04:42.204 I've had that experience myself where, oh, six months ago you took my insurance and nobody told me, and now I'm paying out of pocket for this or I'm paying the amount for out-of-network service for this. 00:04:42.204 --> 00:04:47.194 I'm like, okay, well, new dentist, next time you don't need to schedule me another appointment in six months. 00:04:48.603 --> 00:04:51.406 And that's a crappy thing because I have well, I don't think I have it anymore. 00:04:51.406 --> 00:04:57.990 I used to have dental anxiety and it took a lot for me to trust a dentist. 00:04:57.990 --> 00:05:04.889 And now you find one, and it's just if they change and you're no longer covered by them. 00:05:04.889 --> 00:05:07.442 It's kind of heartbreaking when you get close to them. 00:05:07.442 --> 00:05:18.045 I I did get over my anxiety, though now I am obsessed with my 12 years of a no cavity and I am like let's go. 00:05:18.045 --> 00:05:23.091 We're going on year 13, 13 years no cavities, let's go. 00:05:23.571 --> 00:05:28.302 Yeah, I'm the same way as you when it comes to dentists and I had. 00:05:28.302 --> 00:05:29.865 I went to this one. 00:05:29.865 --> 00:05:45.173 Well, backing it way up, don and I went to this dentist and he retired and we were like, okay, he wasn't as convenient because we'd moved and everything, but we'll travel because we knew him. 00:05:45.173 --> 00:05:46.141 But he retired. 00:05:46.141 --> 00:06:02.870 So we went to this mega chain dentist it's not mega chain, but for this area they've got like 10 offices and things like that First dentist I had, she was awesome, she was great, loved her to death and they transferred her to one of their other locations that I was not going to travel that far for her. 00:06:02.870 --> 00:06:17.091 And so then I got this dentist and picture, you know, a five-foot-tall Joe Rogan type person with definite Napoleon complex, short dude thing. 00:06:17.091 --> 00:06:29.872 So that's who they scheduled me with and I didn't care and for a long time I had a very bad tooth and my previous dentist had told me hey, this tooth is bad. 00:06:29.872 --> 00:06:32.367 One day it will abscess. 00:06:32.367 --> 00:06:35.108 Will it be to tomorrow, will it be next year, will it be 10 years? 00:06:35.108 --> 00:06:39.930 We don't know, but it'll abscess and you're going to be in a situation so you need to get it taken care of. 00:06:39.930 --> 00:06:45.673 But even my dentist said I prefer you to have the natural tooth in as long as there's no infection and all this. 00:06:45.673 --> 00:06:51.452 And so, as we did that and the doctor at that practice I really liked she said the same thing. 00:06:51.452 --> 00:06:58.293 She said you know, I'd prefer if you got it pulled sooner than later, but it is better to have your natural tooth in there. 00:06:58.293 --> 00:07:04.833 And this little Joe Rogan guy, he got like severe attitude with me. 00:07:04.833 --> 00:07:06.831 I really wanted to just punch him in the face. 00:07:06.831 --> 00:07:10.247 I I forget exactly what he said, but he pissed me off so I left. 00:07:10.247 --> 00:07:12.295 I, you know, I didn't even stay. 00:07:12.295 --> 00:07:16.528 You know, after he was done the hygienic, I was gone before the hygienist came back. 00:07:16.528 --> 00:07:22.127 I was like, screw you, um, you know the eric cartman, screw you guys, I'm god and and I was gone. 00:07:22.127 --> 00:07:24.430 So I left, I didn't go back. 00:07:24.430 --> 00:07:27.440 I went somewhere else and I found this dentist. 00:07:27.440 --> 00:07:40.764 I really like Now, this guy, he was a stoner, extraordinaire dentist and he was like he reminded me of Tommy Chong so much and he played in a band at night and all this other stuff, but he was just so cool. 00:07:40.783 --> 00:07:42.028 Yeah, dude, I agree. 00:07:42.028 --> 00:07:48.605 And he's like old, he's in his 60s at this time, but he's, yeah, dude, I really agree, I just have this. 00:07:48.605 --> 00:07:59.803 You know you're going to want to get it taken care of, but let's, you don't have to have it pulled immediately, but, like I said, it he's as an abscess is all just, whether it's weeks, months away. 00:07:59.803 --> 00:08:05.286 Anyways, I had him forever and he was really cool and I had the most coveted slot. 00:08:05.286 --> 00:08:15.514 On Monday nights he had a 6 pm slot and he always would say dude, if you ever go missing, I'm going to know it's one of my other patients, because everybody wants the 6 pm slot and you've got it. 00:08:15.514 --> 00:08:17.062 You know he's just. 00:08:18.745 --> 00:08:23.915 He was really a cool guy and he was funny and he didn't care about anything. 00:08:23.915 --> 00:08:25.774 He was probably stoned while doing my teeth and stuff, but he was funny and he didn't care about anything. 00:08:25.774 --> 00:08:29.857 He was probably stoned while doing my teeth and stuff, but he was good dentist and I really liked him. 00:08:29.857 --> 00:08:33.966 Well, he retired and the person that took over his practice I didn't know he retired. 00:08:33.966 --> 00:08:42.783 I showed up and they didn't take my that's a didn't take my insurance type thing and so I went to this other place and I've been there, I've been happy, but Dawn loves it. 00:08:42.783 --> 00:08:48.934 All three of the dentists are like super hotties, she says, and she's like I need to go get my teeth cleaned again. 00:08:48.934 --> 00:08:53.386 I think I have a bad tooth that needs looked at. 00:08:53.386 --> 00:08:57.539 It's like they're yeah, everybody there is like Dawn. 00:08:57.559 --> 00:08:59.388 Why are you going to the dentist every other week? 00:08:59.860 --> 00:09:01.124 Yeah, exactly so. 00:09:01.124 --> 00:09:05.336 Anyways, benefits World, it's so much fun, it's so much fun, it's so much fun. 00:09:05.336 --> 00:09:08.785 I think the the benefits episode will be a lot of fun. 00:09:08.785 --> 00:09:16.182 Good there, so yeah, oh, and also I was talking about how well the ratings were last month. 00:09:16.182 --> 00:09:22.669 Y'all, I have y'all really liked our last episode with the something about sherm. 00:09:22.710 --> 00:09:32.296 Just touched a nerve yeah, like, and I went back episodes like when we had baked hr on and that it was. 00:09:32.296 --> 00:09:34.321 It was supposed to be a shorty sitting on sherm. 00:09:34.321 --> 00:09:37.249 We were supposed to just like, do a 15, 20 minute episode. 00:09:37.249 --> 00:09:43.187 That's all we planned for and it we I think we edited it down to an hour over an hour, something like that. 00:09:43.649 --> 00:09:52.081 But that one, when we hit a nerve, when we talk about SHRM, removing the E from the DEI or whatever I forget the name of that that episode did well. 00:09:52.081 --> 00:09:55.587 So when we talk about SHRM, y'all respond. 00:09:55.587 --> 00:10:06.389 So I'm going to have to come up with more dirt or something on SHRM or something along those lines to keep y'all coming back and things on SHRM or something along those lines to keep you all coming back and things. 00:10:06.389 --> 00:10:23.533 Those episodes I was telling Cece when Kevin was on that episode actually and it wasn't a jaded episode was the number one download for that year, the highest most downloads for that year, and the SHRM episode, at least in the first seven days, is outperforming that one. 00:10:23.533 --> 00:10:25.626 So I'm going to go gloat after. 00:10:25.647 --> 00:10:28.100 this podcast, at least in the first seven days, is outperforming that one. 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:29.381 I'm going to go gloat. 00:10:29.381 --> 00:10:31.326 After this podcast, we have a competition. 00:10:31.326 --> 00:10:33.792 He's welcome to come back and try and regain the throne, I guess. 00:10:36.465 --> 00:10:36.625 It's on. 00:10:36.625 --> 00:10:38.731 I have a SHRM confession to make. 00:10:38.731 --> 00:10:50.610 Uh-oh, I didn't know this, but I let my SHRM certification lapse when I was pregnant. 00:10:50.610 --> 00:10:58.732 I wasn't in an HR state of mind and I went on about a month ago and I realized that my certification has lapsed. 00:10:58.732 --> 00:11:07.533 Now to recertify, you have to do the credits to say, hey, I'm still learning, I'm still smart. 00:11:07.533 --> 00:11:12.633 Well, since I didn't do that, the only way to get recertified is to take the damn test. 00:11:12.633 --> 00:11:19.990 So now there's the jaded part of me that's like fuck that, I'm not doing that again, whatever. 00:11:19.990 --> 00:11:25.211 And then there's the over achiever side of me that just really wants a certification. 00:11:25.211 --> 00:11:28.519 It's like the devil and the angel on my shoulder. 00:11:28.519 --> 00:11:32.471 And now I'm devastated that I lost the letters. 00:11:33.299 --> 00:11:34.764 What does your new job have to? 00:11:34.764 --> 00:11:38.355 Is it something they encourage, they want they? 00:11:38.355 --> 00:11:39.600 What is their opinion? 00:11:39.620 --> 00:11:42.466 I don't know, actually I have to do some digging. 00:11:42.466 --> 00:11:44.186 That's a good question. 00:11:44.186 --> 00:11:45.644 Yeah, we'll see. 00:11:46.059 --> 00:11:47.245 Yeah, I will not take that test again. 00:11:47.245 --> 00:11:48.389 I'm so ashamed I let it lapse. 00:11:49.961 --> 00:11:51.004 Do you see that behind me? 00:11:51.004 --> 00:11:53.465 You see that that's a lie. 00:11:55.240 --> 00:12:00.711 So there's no other option other than you're so far out that you can't take the exam. 00:12:00.711 --> 00:12:01.813 You have to take the exam. 00:12:03.682 --> 00:12:05.288 Yeah, it's been a year. 00:12:06.019 --> 00:12:06.601 My assistant. 00:12:06.601 --> 00:12:09.471 She got her SHRM CP back in February. 00:12:09.471 --> 00:12:11.486 I'm really proud of her for doing that. 00:12:11.486 --> 00:12:25.701 But we would do the SHRM study, the quiz questions and things like that and I would say just for fun hey, let's check out what the SHRM SCP questions, quiz questions are and things like that, what the Serm SCP questions, quiz questions are and things like that. 00:12:25.701 --> 00:12:30.687 I thought the SCP questions were easier than the CP questions. 00:12:30.687 --> 00:12:37.472 When we were doing that, I was like I'm like I'm batting less than 500 and you know, doing the quizzes together. 00:12:37.472 --> 00:12:43.240 I studied with her and I had fun doing that honestly and I was learning too. 00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:51.267 But when it came down to quiz, I was, I was, I was at less than 500 and getting them right and the questions right. 00:12:51.267 --> 00:12:56.904 And then we let's, let's try the scp ones for this unit and we were getting. 00:12:56.904 --> 00:13:02.485 She was getting them right too and it's not like it's something because I have so much experience or anything like that. 00:13:02.485 --> 00:13:05.932 I was was like is the SCP easier than the CP? 00:13:05.932 --> 00:13:07.580 I don't know. 00:13:07.780 --> 00:13:13.388 So no, I didn't take the CP, I took the SHRM. 00:13:13.388 --> 00:13:14.410 What is it? 00:13:14.410 --> 00:13:15.945 I'm sorry, the HCR the. 00:13:15.965 --> 00:13:16.426 SPHR yeah. 00:13:18.561 --> 00:13:24.490 So I took the PHR, not the SPHR, and I remember I failed that exam once. 00:13:24.490 --> 00:13:31.302 I cried in the bathroom. 00:13:31.302 --> 00:13:40.741 I took it again, I passed it and it was a lot of regurgitation of terms, of definitions, of like kind of things that you know but you don't know. 00:13:40.741 --> 00:13:46.494 Know Like contextuallyually you don't have everything memorized verbatim or stuff like that. 00:13:46.494 --> 00:13:56.264 But then when I took that SCP, it seemed that it was more more rational thinking, more logical thinking. 00:13:56.264 --> 00:14:00.195 Here's a scenario how would you deal in this scenario? 00:14:00.195 --> 00:14:02.061 And it's like, well, that's fucking easy. 00:14:02.061 --> 00:14:02.802 Like not easy. 00:14:02.802 --> 00:14:14.535 I shouldn't say it's easy, but it's easier, as someone who's been working in the HR field, to be like okay, my experience tells me that you know da-da-da-da. 00:14:14.535 --> 00:14:31.145 And I felt that that's what made the SCP easier was that it was more scenario-based as it was. 00:14:31.166 --> 00:14:39.365 Tell me exactly what the the something, something act of 1971 did and I don't, fucking, I don't know, like you know, I can google, that you know, if I ever need to know, I will google that have you met chat gpt knows everything. 00:14:39.384 --> 00:14:43.510 Yeah, I hear yeah, I well, my, I took. 00:14:43.510 --> 00:14:46.556 Well, I got the PHR in 2003. 00:14:46.556 --> 00:14:51.633 And then, rather than recertifying, I got my SPHR in 2006. 00:14:51.633 --> 00:14:53.706 And I kept that going. 00:14:53.706 --> 00:14:57.970 And then, after the, I call it the divorce between HRCI and SHRM. 00:14:57.970 --> 00:15:01.288 Yeah, because it got ugly there for a little while. 00:15:01.288 --> 00:15:09.447 But SHRM did the smartest thing in the world hey, watch this 10 minute powerpoint and we'll convert your sphr to a sherm scp. 00:15:09.447 --> 00:15:11.712 So I'm like I'm on it, I did it. 00:15:11.753 --> 00:15:19.143 Well, my, my employer at that time didn't appreciate, or didn't you know they weren't supporting and getting credits. 00:15:19.143 --> 00:15:23.253 There weren't, as there there are hardly any free credits, it seemed like out there. 00:15:23.253 --> 00:15:26.381 So I was on my own and so after a while I let it lapse. 00:15:26.381 --> 00:15:34.365 And then, when I got my current job, my boss told me out next, next cycle, I want you to take your, get your certification again. 00:15:34.365 --> 00:15:38.072 I'm like, okay, so I did and I got it the the sherm scp. 00:15:38.072 --> 00:15:42.106 But yeah, it was, it was really interesting. 00:15:42.106 --> 00:15:53.153 And but to think that and I think I never thought of it then, but until you said it, yeah, I think that in my mind the CP was harder because it's just regurgitation of some. 00:15:53.153 --> 00:15:57.149 What is the Mavis-Bacon Act or whatever? 00:15:57.149 --> 00:15:59.674 I can't even do it. 00:15:59.674 --> 00:16:01.440 What is this and what is that? 00:16:01.601 --> 00:16:02.840 Mavis-Bacon taught me typing. 00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:04.684 That's it, that's the typing. 00:16:04.684 --> 00:16:10.288 But see, you don't even know, but when you can apply what knowledge you do have. 00:16:10.288 --> 00:16:12.173 It seemed easier. 00:16:12.173 --> 00:16:18.292 So maybe if you have even a mild amount of experience, that the SCP might be easier. 00:16:18.292 --> 00:16:19.573 But who knows? 00:16:20.020 --> 00:16:23.447 I will say I was in, so my previous company. 00:16:23.447 --> 00:16:29.407 They were very much into the certifications, so this is a few years ago. 00:16:29.407 --> 00:16:39.350 They had paid not only for me to get my certification but they had also paid for me to attend these prep courses and this is graduate level once a week, three hours a week. 00:16:39.350 --> 00:16:41.749 They took it seriously and it was very helpful. 00:16:41.749 --> 00:17:11.652 And I'm laughing because I'm in the class and we're reviewing court cases that have happened and there was one for quid pro quo sexual harassment and it was it happened in my hometown of boca raton, florida, so it was like it was the person's last name, like flanderson versus boca raton, and I like excuse me, this is hometown Florida pride, right here, of course, there's a famous court case involving sexual harassment. 00:17:11.652 --> 00:17:14.544 That is Florida proud. 00:17:14.544 --> 00:17:18.212 But it just made me laugh because it was just such a random place. 00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:23.404 Yeah, going back eons and eons in the 90s. 00:17:23.404 --> 00:17:41.592 I remember specifically being in college in an HR class and us discussing that you could not have same-sex sexual harassment because that wasn't considered a thing and you couldn't have subordinate on supervisor harassment because the manager should be the manager. 00:17:41.592 --> 00:17:47.864 Imagine that and knock that one out, deal with the problem. 00:17:47.864 --> 00:18:01.634 And I just remember very specifically, I think the same sex harassment something's telling me it was an American Airlines case, but back then that does evolve and change. 00:18:01.634 --> 00:18:10.952 I mean we're talking 30 plus years but HR does evolve and change and nothing's changed more than it has the last hundred and some odd days in HR, it seems. 00:18:10.952 --> 00:18:14.470 But I won't go too deep into that. 00:18:17.721 --> 00:18:30.440 Oh, it's ever-changing landscapes apes. 00:18:30.460 --> 00:18:36.320 Well, my topic for today was I wanted to do a continuation on my experience at the virginia sherm conference, because y'all seem to like us talking and shitting on sherm and and things like that. 00:18:36.320 --> 00:18:50.573 Well, this time I'm going to be talking about the conference, but I'm going to be talking about the attendees, and maybe there's some of you out here that I'm going to be talking about and, yeah, some of you attendees are really got the. 00:18:50.573 --> 00:18:56.446 It seems like people have lost all etiquette and decorum and things like that. 00:18:56.446 --> 00:19:01.502 So I want to think of this as about being a good conference attendee. 00:19:02.565 --> 00:19:06.333 I feel like this needs intro music and a theme song. 00:19:09.701 --> 00:19:13.188 Be a good attendee, like an instructional video from the 90s. 00:19:13.188 --> 00:19:17.201 Well, and I actually wrote down notes. 00:19:17.201 --> 00:19:24.025 I've been doing more notes lately than I've been doing in a long time, but my number one bullet is shut the fuck up. 00:19:24.025 --> 00:19:30.588 So that's my number one bullet for being a good attendee, and I've got some bullets. 00:19:31.672 --> 00:19:32.273 Shut your mouth. 00:19:33.296 --> 00:19:35.121 Don't ask stupid questions. 00:19:35.121 --> 00:19:41.277 If your question pertains only to you, don't ask it in front of everybody. 00:19:41.277 --> 00:19:47.926 Take it offline and if you have a question you know, keep it at the 10 000 foot level big picture so everybody can learn from. 00:19:47.926 --> 00:19:54.429 Well, I have jane doe and she does this and I and get really in the weeds with their situation. 00:19:54.429 --> 00:19:55.230 I don't. 00:19:55.230 --> 00:19:56.413 Nobody else wants to hear that. 00:19:56.413 --> 00:19:59.005 Oh, here's another thing. 00:19:59.005 --> 00:20:06.319 No, don't interrupt and make asinine comments that add no value to anybody else in the room. 00:20:06.319 --> 00:20:14.365 Going along the same line, there was this one lady in one of the breakout sessions I was in and she would just no question involved. 00:20:14.365 --> 00:20:19.366 Say, well, my company does da-da-da-da-da, like she's looking for some sort of affirmation. 00:20:19.366 --> 00:20:21.451 Oh yes, good girl, pat you on the head. 00:20:21.451 --> 00:20:27.691 Your company is doing excellent, no question, it's just a comment, my company does this. 00:20:27.691 --> 00:20:28.573 Good for you. 00:20:33.144 --> 00:20:36.221 Nobody wants to hear that SHRM does not give gold stars. 00:20:36.221 --> 00:20:38.509 Everything at SHRM costs money. 00:20:38.509 --> 00:20:41.368 They're not going to give you a gold star for doing your job. 00:20:41.579 --> 00:20:48.185 But they give you the badge bling that says like I got the HR dude badge bling and I did not get that. 00:20:48.185 --> 00:20:49.068 I love HR. 00:20:49.068 --> 00:20:57.747 And the lady, the lady, when I'm up there getting the HR dude and the Sherm SCP little ribbons that you put on your your name tag and things like that, she goes you want that. 00:20:57.747 --> 00:20:58.327 I love HR. 00:20:58.327 --> 00:20:58.868 I said oh no. 00:20:58.868 --> 00:20:59.971 I said oh no. 00:21:03.500 --> 00:21:10.781 Can I just tell you I'm a sucker for that kind of nonsense like the bling. 00:21:10.781 --> 00:21:17.544 I went to SHRM and I went crazy over those stupid ribbons. 00:21:17.544 --> 00:21:23.262 I was first time attendee, shrm, scp talent. 00:21:23.262 --> 00:21:26.839 Well, I think I had like seven ribbons on there just like layered. 00:21:26.839 --> 00:21:31.659 Don't threaten me with a good time for Medals of Valor over there. 00:21:31.659 --> 00:21:32.259 I'm down. 00:21:32.259 --> 00:21:35.055 Yeah, hr Valor. 00:21:37.276 --> 00:21:37.857 It was funny. 00:21:37.857 --> 00:21:39.234 Those were funny ways. 00:21:39.234 --> 00:21:41.017 Like I said, I didn't have an awful time. 00:21:41.017 --> 00:21:43.057 It could have been better, but I didn't have an awful time. 00:21:43.057 --> 00:22:08.116 But under STFU, bullet number three, nobody wants to hear your uh-huhs, that's right, and all your loud comments to yourself throughout the I had someone behind me was just doing that the entire breakout session and I'm like okay, this is getting too, too bad and not a showing of the rocky horror picture show you do not have to interact do we have a first? 00:22:08.156 --> 00:22:12.191 anybody here, it's their first time do they even show the rocky horror. 00:22:12.191 --> 00:22:14.676 The place what used to show here doesn't anymore. 00:22:14.938 --> 00:22:22.577 I do it's been a while since I've been to one yeah, the gen, the gen zers are not going to know. 00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:26.664 All that is the rocky horror picture show. 00:22:26.664 --> 00:22:27.290 It's it's. 00:22:27.290 --> 00:22:32.782 It's a suck-ass movie, but it's the experience, it's an experience. 00:22:32.782 --> 00:22:35.051 It's an experience. 00:22:35.051 --> 00:22:37.038 It's not suck-ass, but it's not a great movie. 00:22:37.038 --> 00:22:39.096 It's great in my heart. 00:22:39.096 --> 00:22:44.316 And you can't watch it because if you watch it on TV, I know I'm going down another rabbit hole. 00:22:44.316 --> 00:22:50.770 You just don't get the same thing out of it as being there in the theater and things like that. 00:22:50.770 --> 00:22:57.462 So anyways, agreed, bullet four under STFU, take your sidebars outside. 00:22:57.763 --> 00:23:00.897 Let me tell you I had it was a breakout session. 00:23:00.897 --> 00:23:17.960 It was in the main rooms and there was maybe 60 people in the room and the room held hundreds of people and the people the lady behind me is just like talking and talking, talking to person beside her and and I actually had interest in the topic and wanted to listen. 00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:27.938 So I said I turned around and said excuse me, like two or three times and then I just got up and I moved like five seats over to get away from directly behind them and they kept going. 00:23:27.938 --> 00:23:34.298 I couldn't hear the speaker and I just finally I said it in a not loud, not soft voice say excuse me. 00:23:34.298 --> 00:23:36.522 I moved because I couldn't hear because of you. 00:23:36.522 --> 00:23:39.618 Can you please, can you please be quiet so we could hear? 00:23:39.618 --> 00:23:43.570 And but yeah, I that I found that just extremely rude. 00:23:44.712 --> 00:23:55.270 And then my final stfu bullet was if you ask, can you get a copy of the slides, just get up, go, you know, play in traffic somewhere. 00:23:55.270 --> 00:23:59.259 I, that is one of my can we get a copy of the slides? 00:23:59.259 --> 00:24:09.653 And they've even told you, hey, this most of the presenters slides are going to be available through the app, the, the seminar app or whatever it was a conference app and things like like that. 00:24:09.653 --> 00:24:10.894 Can we get a copy of the slides? 00:24:10.894 --> 00:24:13.395 That just kills me. 00:24:13.395 --> 00:24:16.939 That was bullet point number one. 00:24:20.142 --> 00:24:24.464 Bullet point number two oh, I had a little bit of time. 00:24:24.464 --> 00:24:26.686 It didn't take me that long, but I had a little time on my hand. 00:24:26.686 --> 00:24:28.593 I was motivated. 00:24:28.593 --> 00:24:30.638 Technology is my next bullet. 00:24:30.638 --> 00:24:36.113 Oh, yeah, a silence. 00:24:36.113 --> 00:24:36.554 Your phone people. 00:24:36.554 --> 00:24:43.238 You know you, you might be the most important person in your entire company I'm sure you are because you're an hr pro and things. 00:24:43.238 --> 00:24:45.585 But you know, put it on quiet. 00:24:45.585 --> 00:24:47.431 Everybody has a phone, a smart watch. 00:24:47.431 --> 00:24:54.353 I nowadays, I don't ever have the volume on my phone on because I'll get a buzz on my watch and I look at it. 00:24:54.353 --> 00:25:01.156 Okay, I'll accept, decline whatever, get rid of it, but you don't need a loud ringer. 00:25:01.156 --> 00:25:03.522 And if it does for you, oh, go ahead. 00:25:04.491 --> 00:25:18.080 I was gonna say it's funny that you say that, because there was a time when I was a teenager where we used to pay like $2 for a ringtone so that we could be like the person to have Blink-182 playing in a polyphonic melody. 00:25:18.080 --> 00:25:20.484 And now I don't remember. 00:25:20.484 --> 00:25:22.374 I don't even know what ringtone I have on. 00:25:22.374 --> 00:25:23.757 It's never been on. 00:25:23.757 --> 00:25:27.413 I have never had my phone on. 00:25:27.413 --> 00:25:31.240 It's always been vibrating on my watch, or just vibration. 00:25:31.240 --> 00:25:32.262 I don't want to hear it. 00:25:32.262 --> 00:25:34.336 I don't want to hear it in my personal life. 00:25:34.336 --> 00:25:36.060 I certainly don't want to hear yours. 00:25:36.730 --> 00:25:44.035 And the only time I will say that I turn the ringer on on my phone is like when my wife is traveling or flying or something. 00:25:44.035 --> 00:25:49.172 I want to make sure that I don't miss any phone calls or anything like that. 00:25:49.172 --> 00:25:53.001 I will turn it on then, but it usually goes right back off anyways. 00:25:53.001 --> 00:25:57.441 But if your phone does ring, for Christ's sake don't answer it. 00:25:57.441 --> 00:26:03.719 Or if you do answer it, say hold on and get out of the room and don't have your conversation in the room. 00:26:03.719 --> 00:26:07.017 I just common sense people. 00:26:07.017 --> 00:26:09.063 Bullet point three under technology. 00:26:09.210 --> 00:26:19.762 And I will admit this is probably a shortcoming of mine, just because I'm an old curmudgeon-y guy and maybe because when I went to college people didn't take computers. 00:26:19.762 --> 00:26:24.592 Nobody had a laptop in the early 90s that I knew, at least In my fraternity. 00:26:24.592 --> 00:26:29.002 I was the only person with a desktop computer in my fraternity. 00:26:29.002 --> 00:26:31.396 So yeah, there weren't a lot of computers. 00:26:31.396 --> 00:26:32.359 You went to the computer lab. 00:26:32.359 --> 00:26:47.586 But anyways, the clicking on the 7 am breakout, the 7.30 am breakout session, and I live over an hour and a half away and I'm not a morning person. 00:26:47.586 --> 00:26:51.356 I got up there, I got in, I got there on time, ready to go, and this person is. 00:26:51.356 --> 00:26:54.354 It sounded like she had a freaking typewriter. 00:26:54.354 --> 00:26:57.890 I was just waiting for that ding and then the return noise as it returns. 00:26:57.890 --> 00:27:03.278 It was so loud and it was I don't know I. 00:27:03.278 --> 00:27:04.760 I was like do you? 00:27:04.760 --> 00:27:08.493 I wanted to turn around just to see did she have a typewriter? 00:27:08.493 --> 00:27:13.390 I've never heard a keyboard that loud on a computer in my life. 00:27:13.490 --> 00:27:28.223 It was so yeah that that I was that person, I'm that person I don't think you could have a keyboard that loud I have nails and my nails clickety-clack on a keyboard and that is I. 00:27:29.050 --> 00:27:39.111 I was in a conference once and someone I think they I don't know if there's a sensory reaction to pen clicking, like people. 00:27:39.111 --> 00:27:40.477 I know that drives people crazy. 00:27:40.477 --> 00:27:43.378 This person thought I was clicking my pen. 00:27:43.378 --> 00:27:45.678 No, I was clickety clacking on my keyboard. 00:27:45.678 --> 00:27:54.484 And the guy like interrupted the whole session and was just like can someone stop clicking their pen? 00:27:54.484 --> 00:27:57.839 And I was like, and this is like 70 people in a room? 00:27:57.839 --> 00:27:59.737 And I was just I think that was me. 00:27:59.737 --> 00:28:07.820 So anyway, I'm so paranoid of typing in public now no, I can't imagine that being just fingernails. 00:28:07.910 --> 00:28:09.711 That was like it felt. 00:28:09.711 --> 00:28:17.102 It sounded like mechanical pushed down hard key strokes that you would have to do with that. 00:28:17.102 --> 00:28:19.644 It was really, really bad. 00:28:19.644 --> 00:28:26.737 My fourth bullet under technology, taking pictures of every goddamn slide. 00:28:27.618 --> 00:28:30.763 Oh yeah, this makes it all better. 00:28:30.763 --> 00:28:36.375 First, the session that the lady that was sitting directly in front of me was doing this one a. 00:28:36.375 --> 00:28:37.858 It was on ai and hr. 00:28:37.858 --> 00:28:44.336 So I'm like, you're not even ready for windows 3.1, much less ai and hr. 00:28:44.336 --> 00:28:46.180 But she had. 00:28:46.180 --> 00:28:50.692 I've never seen an ipad it was an ipad brand this big. 00:28:50.692 --> 00:29:00.450 I mean my computer, my laptop monitor is 15 inches, I think it was bigger than that and she stood up and took a picture of each slide. 00:29:00.450 --> 00:29:10.005 Not only that, but each time an animation came and a new thing came on new line, she'd stand up again and then triple down on that. 00:29:10.005 --> 00:29:15.423 She had the little shutter sound on her ginormous iPad. 00:29:15.423 --> 00:29:25.819 So every time she hit the button to take a picture or whatever the sound is that, it does it, and I was just I was losing it. 00:29:25.819 --> 00:29:31.643 But, like I said, the monitor on my laptop in front of me is 15 inches. 00:29:31.643 --> 00:29:35.778 It was an iPad and it was bigger than that. 00:29:35.778 --> 00:29:39.105 I've never seen anything that big. 00:29:39.105 --> 00:29:40.089 It was crazy. 00:29:40.289 --> 00:29:50.299 But the shutter sound on and all this, I'm like yeah it was bad and also the slides will be given to you. 00:29:50.539 --> 00:29:50.800 Yes. 00:29:51.130 --> 00:29:53.538 You don't have to take a picture of the slides. 00:29:53.878 --> 00:29:56.056 Yeah, and standing up to do it too. 00:29:56.056 --> 00:30:10.304 Not only did she stand up, she held her ginormous iPad up above her head as she's doing it, and I think my grandmother, who's still alive at 106 years old, could do better than she could at dealing with this stuff. 00:30:10.304 --> 00:30:10.384 Aw. 00:30:10.403 --> 00:30:10.865 Grandma. 00:30:14.549 --> 00:30:17.174 Anybody is years old could do better than she could at dealing with this grandma. 00:30:17.174 --> 00:30:18.136 Anybody is. 00:30:18.136 --> 00:30:18.959 Bullet number three be spatially aware. 00:30:18.959 --> 00:30:23.106 This is a something that's left human beings for eons. 00:30:23.106 --> 00:30:27.071 You know we've lost the ability to be spatially aware. 00:30:27.071 --> 00:30:42.044 Whether you're in the grocery store or at a conference, like there's to the main room where the big speakers were was a corridor and of course one wall of the corridor has sponsors and tables and things like that. 00:30:42.044 --> 00:30:45.646 So your corridor space is cut in a third right then. 00:30:45.646 --> 00:31:00.021 And then you just have people just all of a sudden decide they're going to stop in the middle of this busy corridor and have their little conversation and block the progress for everybody else when, hey, I've got to be in the other building in five minutes for my session I want to do. 00:31:00.021 --> 00:31:08.280 Just get against the wall, take it out of the corridor area, do something, but don't have your ketchup in the middle of the corridor. 00:31:08.280 --> 00:31:10.489 Be spatially aware in the middle of the quarter, be spatially aware. 00:31:10.489 --> 00:31:16.357 I'm like, ah, and then my final bullet is have some fucking self-respect. 00:31:16.357 --> 00:31:19.349 I absolutely. 00:31:19.349 --> 00:31:20.713 You're so salty. 00:31:20.713 --> 00:31:26.641 I have some fucking self-respect. 00:31:26.641 --> 00:31:28.336 These people don't. 00:31:28.336 --> 00:31:35.863 How many of those stupid shopping bag totes with whatever stupid vendor that you're never going to use or hear from again. 00:31:35.863 --> 00:31:36.483 Do you need? 00:31:36.483 --> 00:31:53.852 These people are lining up and the same thing pisses me off at Costco or Sam's Club or anything like that People lining up for your little two-ounce sample of flavored water or a granola bar, that you're getting like one thirty-second of a granola bar and you're lining up for that crap and that. 00:31:53.852 --> 00:31:59.222 But they're lining up to get this, this shopping bags and things like that. 00:31:59.530 --> 00:32:01.738 I walked around the exhibitor halls and things like. 00:32:01.738 --> 00:32:02.621 I just looked around. 00:32:02.621 --> 00:32:03.730 I didn't. 00:32:03.730 --> 00:32:14.219 The only piece of swag I actually got was UKG was one of the premier sponsors, was like putting it in your hand as you walked by and it was in my goodwill pile. 00:32:14.219 --> 00:32:19.034 I had never even made it inside the house, it was in the goodwill pile in the garage by the time I got home. 00:32:19.474 --> 00:32:34.222 But but they some of these people I kid you not were going like losing their shit over these shopping bags and had one of those shopping bags with like six other shopping bags more than six shopping bags inside, had one of those shopping bags with like six other shopping bags, more than six shopping bags inside of it. 00:32:34.222 --> 00:32:37.380 That's what they were, the swag items they wanted to pick up. 00:32:37.380 --> 00:32:41.410 And you know the only thing that I don't have any dogs anymore. 00:32:41.410 --> 00:32:48.440 Mine are all across the little rainbow bridge but there was some, like had a little tennis ball. 00:32:48.440 --> 00:32:53.259 I was like, oh, if my dog was still around I'd get that, I'd go by and pick that up and things like that. 00:32:53.259 --> 00:32:57.711 But people, you're hoarding, this is hoarding. 00:32:57.711 --> 00:33:06.202 You're the people I do not want bringing something in for potluck lunch because you've got the cat hair and you've got the other stuff. 00:33:06.202 --> 00:33:08.365 You're the reason I will not eat at a potluck. 00:33:09.871 --> 00:33:12.917 I do a potluck, I will say popular opinion. 00:33:12.917 --> 00:33:15.372 I very much dislike swag. 00:33:15.372 --> 00:33:24.976 I am not a swag person For a lot of the reasons that you just said, because I A I'm too lazy to bring it home Like there's nothing. 00:33:24.976 --> 00:33:34.262 There's assuming that I go to these things and I'm traveling and I'm on a plane and, like you know, there's the logistics of all this crap. 00:33:34.262 --> 00:33:36.036 I won't bring it home. 00:33:36.036 --> 00:33:48.541 The only way I'll lose my crap over something, if it's something like that is of any kind of useful value to me oh, give me like an upgraded power bank, or I'll do that. 00:33:48.541 --> 00:33:50.576 Or maybe, if you have a Stanley Cup that you have branded with your logo, I'll do that. 00:33:50.576 --> 00:33:54.271 Or maybe, if you have a Stanley cup that you have branded with your logo, I'll do that. 00:33:54.271 --> 00:34:02.125 But I'm not gonna stand in line for a pop socket of a brand that I don't use. 00:34:02.125 --> 00:34:03.451 That's just for me. 00:34:03.451 --> 00:34:05.076 I don't, I don't care. 00:34:05.656 --> 00:34:19.030 And I remember I went to a Sherm event once and I met up with you know, you meet someone there and you start to kind of chat and walk around with them and she was a swag person, she was a swag girly and I don't. 00:34:19.030 --> 00:34:25.063 I don't need this crappy 89 cent water branded water bottle. 00:34:25.063 --> 00:34:25.923 I don't need it. 00:34:25.923 --> 00:34:28.594 So anyway, I don't. 00:34:28.594 --> 00:34:31.782 I'm not a swag person, again, unless it's something cool. 00:34:31.782 --> 00:34:37.778 How about a nice for my company, right, put a nice company logo and hoodie. 00:34:37.778 --> 00:34:49.043 I'm all about that Because, again, some days you're lazy and you work from home and you just want to throw on a hoodie and it's company branded and you're in dress code and it's so easy and wonderful. 00:34:49.043 --> 00:34:50.594 I'll do that all day. 00:34:50.594 --> 00:34:54.394 Coffee mug, sure, but no, I don't want it. 00:34:54.394 --> 00:34:58.563 For a company that I don't even use, unless I work there. 00:34:58.563 --> 00:34:59.110 I don't want it. 00:34:59.753 --> 00:35:08.983 When we moved now I don't drink coffee, my wife does, and when we moved we've got rid of literally hundreds of coffee mugs. 00:35:08.983 --> 00:35:34.103 Things we picked up over the years former employers well, former employers of mine, she's been things we picked up over the years, former employers, former employers of mine as she's only she's been the same place 17 plus years but former employers of mine and just things you pick up and you get somewhere where you're like no, no, no, no, and like you're one person and she saved like six coffee cups and mugs and that's it, and now she's basically only using her Stanley-style cups for her coffees now. 00:35:34.103 --> 00:35:40.021 So those four, six, whatever we saved, are just gathering dust somewhere in a cabinet somewhere. 00:35:41.463 --> 00:35:48.684 Yeah, I can't tell you how many mugs and cups that we've purged over the years. 00:35:48.909 --> 00:35:56.115 It's like no, and Goodwill doesn't even want that shit anymore yeah, I don't need an adp mug. 00:35:56.637 --> 00:35:59.181