LIFTS Out Loud: Celeste Miller - Nursing Under the Big Sky

Guest Bio: 

Episode Description 

In this heartfelt episode of the LIFTS Podcast, host Emily Freeman talks with Celeste Miller, a ranch mom from rural Montana, about her journey through breastfeeding challenges, rural isolation, and finding confidence in motherhood.

Celeste shares how her first baby’s health complications made nursing difficult, how she found support the second time around, and what it’s like raising kids while working on a cattle ranch. Together, Emily and Celeste discuss the realities of rural parenting — long drives for care, limited lactation support, and the pressure to “tough it out” — alongside the growing openness among moms to talk about postpartum mental health.

Highlights include:

• Navigating breastfeeding challenges and formula feeding without local support
• Balancing ranch life and parenting in a rural setting
• The importance of community, vulnerability, and practical support for moms
• Why resources like lactation consultants and postpartum support matter in small towns

Celeste’s message:
“You can be tough and still have a hard time — it’s not one or the other.”

Learn more:

• LIFTS Online Resource Guide Category Lactation Supports: https://hmhb-lifts.org/services?service_type=Lactation%20Support
• Read the article from the magazine:  https://hmhb-mt.org/magazine/

Enjoying the podcast? We’d love your feedback and ideas for future episodes! Take our LIFTS Podcast Listener Survey at hmhb-mt.org/survey.

Connect with Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies

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For statewide resources to support Montana families in the 0-3 years of parenting, check out the LIFTS online resource guide at
https://hmhb-lifts.org/

Transcript

Emily Freeman, HMHB-MT: 0:04

Welcome to season five of the LIFTS podcast, where we connect with parents, caregivers, providers, and advocates for Montana families in the early years of parenting. Through personal stories of lived experience and expert insights, we highlight the people and programs that are helping families thrive. I'm Emily Freeman and this is The LIFTS Podcast, A project of Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies, the Montana Coalition.

Celeste: 0:31

I am Celeste Miller, and this is Nursing Under the Big Sky. As a first time mom, breastfeeding didn't come easily. My son JR wasn't gaining enough weight and we didn't know what was going on. It was stressful and we were both struggling. There's no lactation support available in our rural ranching community, and I would drive an hour each way to the hospital where we met with a different pediatrician at each visit. They saw what I was producing and what he was drinking and couldn't figure out why he wasn't gaining weight. One pediatrician finally referred us to a specialist, a pulmonologist, and that's when things started getting better. It turned out that JR had Laryngeal Malacia a soft cartilage in the larynx that prevented him from being able to nurse properly. He also had a high arch, which no one had noticed before, so he wasn't able to get a good latch. The pulmonologist suggested we start him on formula so that he could get the calories and nutrition that he needed in order to thrive. I always knew that I was going to try breastfeeding again, and with my second baby, Millie, I was determined. We received lactation patient support at the hospital, and this time breastfeeding worked almost immediately. It was a whole different situation with her, a child without health issues, but I also had a more relaxed attitude this time around, and I'd let go of thinking this is the only way to do it. The way to do it is whatever it takes for the baby to gain weight and for mom to be happy. It would be great to have a lactation consultant in our rural community, someone local to reach out to without having to drive an hour to the hospital. We don't currently have any lactation support resources, just moms helping other moms. One of my best friends in the area had a baby shortly after I did, and I was able to share about my experiences. Some of the advice I gave her was helpful for her breastfeeding journey, but some wasn't. It's funny to see how every baby is different and what works for one may not work for another. I encouraged her to reach out to her lactation consultant at the hospital for help. I'm self-employed on our family cattle ranch, so I'm able to breastfeed while I'm working. I can either take my daughter with me or move between where I'm working and where she is. When we're branding and she's at the house with my mom, I'll run back and forth between the branding and the house to feed her once when Millie was about three months old and we were in the middle of calving, I found a calf in the field that hadn't been claimed by its mother. I wound up bottle feeding the calf while also breastfeeding Millie and our side by side in the middle of the pasture. It was quite the experience.

Emily Freeman, HMHB-MT: 3:12

Good job. So how did you feel when you first saw your story in the magazine?

Celeste: 3:19

It was amazing. It was cool. Yeah, it was awesome. Nice. Yeah. Very exciting.

Emily: 3:24

You did a great job sharing your story.

Celeste: 3:27

The photographer was amazing.

Emily: 3:29

The pictures were lovely.

Celeste: 3:31

She did an awesome job. And the kids actually cooperated.

Emily: 3:34

Yeah, no, it was, it was so cute.

Celeste: 3:37

It was great. We haven't done family pictures at all, ever.

Emily Freeman, HMHB-MT: 3:41

Oh, I love that. And now you've got great ones. Yeah. Cool. Yes, yes. And so you and I spoke about the magazine and you shared your story. It was several months ago now. What are any changes in your life or in your community since we first talked.

Celeste: 3:56

Yeah, so Millie is now mostly on formula. I pump and stuff, but just'cause I've had to go back to work. Mm-hmm. So I had to transition a little bit and that was rough for a minute for both of us, I think just being my last one. But it's all worked out. Gives me a little bit more freedom.

Emily: 4:16

Yeah.

Celeste: 4:16

And community-wise, nothing has changed in the community with outreach or anything, but that's okay. You know? Mm-hmm. Driving to billings is easier than some places.

Emily: 4:29

And how far is that? How far is that drive? Like if you have to go an hour. An hour? Okay. I cannot get longer with the weather or do you just not go if there's weather?

Celeste: 4:38

Oh yeah. It depends like how the interstate is. That's the one that's really. Part in between Columbus and Billings. But yeah, it just depends. Sometimes. Yeah. We're just on, just have to reschedule.

Emily Freeman, HMHB-MT: 4:51

Yeah. Well, and I guess it's that time of year where we all start to have the extra blanket and jackets and snacks and things in the car, just in case. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. What do you wish that healthcare providers or policymakers better understood about the rural mom experience? Like, have you ever been given advice of something to do and then you think to yourself like, how do they think I'm gonna do this? It's very easy to give advice, to join a gym, go to a mom's group, go buy this special product. And when you're living in a rural place do you ever feel like that advice is kind of out of touch with your reality?

Celeste: 5:27

Yeah, all of the above. I'm lucky'cause I have friends that are moms, so I've been able to lean on them. But yeah, gyms. Yeah, I mean, I have a Peloton at home and that's about the only situation we have around here for getting in a workout and being able to social. But I think like the biggest thing is like people just expect you to always take the kids with you. You know, we're working cows for example, and there's a squeeze shoot and it's loud and I'm usually always the one that's taking notes and giving shots and helping my husband up at the shoot, and it's like I can't focus and do all of that with especially the baby now. But even JR, he is four, he'll be five in January. Even him running around, I can't focus on the job because it's dangerous at the same time, you know, if something happened. So that's where it gets hard is some people are like, well just bring the kids with you. Like it might take longer, but bring'em. And it's like, yeah, but my mind isn't in it,'cause my mind is always, my kids are always number one, safety wise. And making sure they're good. So I think that's hard in this industry. Mm-hmm. Um,'cause and I think that's how it was always done, probably before too, but it was different.

Emily: 6:44

It's probably a generalization, and I'm sure there's exceptions to this, but I find a lot of moms have a hard time just going to a single channel. You know, I noticed my husband will be able to focused deeply on something while the kids are being noisy or chaotic or dangerous. When you've got higher stakes, like in terms of safety and you know that, that is a lot.

Celeste: 7:06

Exactly. like just the other day, my husband took our five-year-old, almost five out, and he was riding his pony. And my husband was on a horse with a lead rope, and JR got bucked off of his pony, you know? Mm-hmm. And I'm like, that type of stuff, that stresses me out a lot more than my husband because mm-hmm. The man versus the woman type thing. And he grew up in it. So it's a little different.

Emily: 7:30

And every family has its own comfort with risk or its own culture around what even is absolutely considered risky or dangerous behavior. But, and then you come together as a married unit and you're like, well, this is really normal. And living where you do, there is that added component of if something did go wrong, how long would it take to get to the medical care that you might need. Exactly.

Celeste: 7:53

Yeah. We do have a hospital in Columbus. But it's, it's a smaller hospital and stuff and anything major you gotta go to Billings. Yeah. There is always that risk.

Emily: 8:04

Do you feel like in the time that from the time of your first baby to your second one in the last several years, do you notice any shift culturally in an awareness of things like postpartum challenges, whether mental health stuff, nursing challenges? Do you feel like there's been any sort of reduction of stigma around talking about that stuff? Or is it still a pretty private battle that women are fighting.

Celeste: 8:29

Yeah. I mean, for me, from the first to the second, I was more comfortable talking about it and saying, I'm struggling. Or what do you do in this situation? Versus the first I felt like a failure, you know? And like I wasn't a good mom and, but I think I just was more confident in who I was as a mother coming in with my second and my first mm-hmm. You know, just getting to know me as a mom Right. Versus now I, I know who I am as a mom. And I think as like my friend group, I'm very open about talking about it. Like I'm very, gimme your boob and lemme show you what I did, you know? Mm-hmm. Like that type of stuff where it's not strange for me and my group of friends.

Emily: 9:13

Yeah. And maybe it's that, it's that delicate challenge of how do I normalize this stuff and share more about it, and also honor the boundaries that are in place culturally. How do you gently kind of share, whether it's with men or an older generation or whatever, gently open the door to talking about it in a way that's gonna make people comfortable. Because who knows? Maybe you talk about your own, challenges and then it normalizes it and makes it okay, not just for another mom, but maybe there's a dad who needs to hear that.

Celeste: 9:43

Yeah. I had a friend the other day, upset and she's like, I'm having these emotions. She has a five month old. She was just, feeling different. And she's like, I just don't feel like myself. I said, totally normal. You know, if you need to talk to someone, go talk to someone. If you need to talk to me, I'm always here. But all of those feelings are normal.

Emily: 10:04

I fear for a lack of awareness of sort of good health information out there. Absolutely. Yes. It can be so easy to go down a rabbit hole of like, oh, well maybe I'm deficient in this, I just saw this TikTok and like, I think I need this subscription vitamin service and that's what's gonna help me when in truth like it. It's often something much more simple like, oh, I've been in the house all day and haven't talked to another adult, you know?

Celeste: 10:27

Feeling like yourself again. Yeah, yeah. Which you'll never be the old self, I don't think. Feeling like a person, your own person again is always what I say.

Emily: 10:38

Yeah, absolutely. If you could just wave a magic wand and add one resource or support to your area, what do you think that would be?

Celeste: 10:51

It would definitely be like lactation support.

And even in regards to, you know, like formulas and stuff like that too, if breastfeeding isn't helping. Sure. And then definitely like postpartum mental awareness, things like that. Yeah. Like that it's okay to be struggling a little bit after babies. And make that more aware. And, I think in our community too, in the ranching world, you have to be tough. And emotion is f rowned upon where I am complete opposite of that. So I think I think bringing that in is okay. Yeah, I think it would be great for women.

Emily: 11:27

Yeah. Because it's hard. Well, and that those two things don't have to be exclusive of one another. That you can tough and be having a tough time, a hard time emotionally. Absolutely. Um, it's not one or the other. And I like what you said about like, what I've heard the phrase infant feeding support. So it's not just breastfeeding support only, and then if you're struggling if you're someone who's for whatever reason, choosing formula or doing a combination of both, like you are, you're transitioning yeah. Just having some people who you can share your journey with, and. Share advice and no judgment about the route that you're taking. Just, right. How can we help you do what you need to do. Are there places that the community comes together where there could be like a moms group or a support group, are there, what are the community spaces where you live?

Celeste: 12:13

There is one in Absorke called Main Street Commons. Where there's a little coffee shop in there and local people sell art and stuff in their crafts, things that they make. Mm-hmm. It's a big open space And I do know like moms get together on Wednesdays and read books and stuff to their kids. But I think maybe sometimes without children would be good for moms.

Emily: 12:35

Yeah. From what I understand and from what I've experienced, it can make a huge difference to have a group for moms where there's also childcare. Even if it's just someone in another room with a movie, you know? Um, right. Yeah. For a lot of moms, that's what they need. It's just a little, just an hour where they're not being touched or where they can put their brain into that single channel of like, let's talk about grownups right now. Exactly. So how do you encourage those things?

Celeste: 13:03

Right. You probably just do it.

Emily Freeman, HMHB-MT: 13:05

I think you do. I think you show what it looks like and you're like, Hey, it's actually simple. It's like someone's grandma in the corner with some stories and you guys are in another room behind a door. Yeah. And it's that piece of nourishing mom, not always nourishing the mom and baby dyad. That's not what every mom needs.

Celeste: 13:23

That's a great way to put it. Their own time. Nourishing mom. Yes.

Emily: 13:30

Yeah. And it's tricky because it, the irony is in rural areas like yours and ranching communities, the moms that need it are also really busy because you are exactly a ranching mom in a rural community, and how do you find that energy and that bandwidth from someone in the community who has more time to organize it and isn't having to be pulled out to the work.

Celeste: 13:52

Yes. Finding the balance. If that's a thing.

Emily Freeman, HMHB-MT: 13:55

I think it's a constantly shifting recalibrating. It's not like you find the balance and then it's locked in. What is giving you hope right now, if anything, about where maternal care is headed, what resources are available in rural areas? What makes you feel hopeful for moms like you, new moms in rural parts of Montana?

Celeste: 14:16

I think just community, probably. And I think women are becoming more open to discussing mental health, especially after babies and being more vulnerable about it and saying, I'm struggling and it's not always, I'm the perfect mom. Yeah. I'm happy. You know, it's hard and it takes a toll on you. It's beautiful at the same time, but there are moments where you wanna cry in the bathroom.

Emily: 14:45

Mm-hmm.

Celeste: 14:45

Walk yourself away.

Emily: 14:47

Yeah. For a minute.

Celeste: 14:48

So I think that's probably the part that gives me hope. It's just people being more vulnerable and discussing things like that. 

Emily Freeman, HMHB-MT: 14:55

I think that's where connection happens, with vulnerability absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 

Thank you Celeste.

Emily Freeman: 15:06

The LIFTS Podcast is a project of Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies The Montana Coalition, a nonprofit dedicated to improving the health, safety, and wellbeing of Montana families in the zero to three years of parenting. Visit us at hmhb-mt.org to learn more about who we are and what we do. Views and opinions expressed in these interviews do not necessarily represent HMHB as an organization. If you have feedback on the podcast or an idea for a future guest or episode, we'd love to hear from you. Take our LIFTS podcast listener survey at hmhb-mt.org/survey or email us at stories@hmbmt.org.