Remote communication skills have been important to many entrepreneurs and business leaders for some time, but now they are more important than ever. Even if you feel comfortable with virtual meeting platforms and remote communication, it's likely that many people you work with are not. Having a strong understanding of how virtual platforms change our communication behaviors can help you significantly increase the success of remote meetings as well as coaching and training sessions. Lauren Sergy, communication expert and author of UNMUTE! How to Master Virtual Meetings and Reclaim Your Sanity, joins Dr. John Frame, Associate Director of Faculty Support and Development in the School of Business at Northcentral University. Together, they discuss Lauren’s practical insights and strategies for amplifying your impact and improving your clarity, polish, and ability to connect with others when communicating via webcam. You can learn more about Lauren and her book at https://laurensergy.com/unmute
Remote communication skills have been important to many entrepreneurs and business leaders for some time, but now they are more important than ever. Even if you feel comfortable with virtual meeting platforms and remote communication, it's likely that many people you work with are not. Having a strong understanding of how virtual platforms change our communication behaviors can help you significantly increase the success of remote meetings as well as coaching and training sessions. Lauren Sergy, communication expert and author of UNMUTE! How to Master Virtual Meetings and Reclaim Your Sanity, joins Dr. John Frame, Associate Director of Faculty Support and Development in the School of Business at Northcentral University. Together, they discuss Lauren’s practical insights and strategies for amplifying your impact and improving your clarity, polish, and ability to connect with others when communicating via webcam. You can learn more about Lauren and her book at https://laurensergy.com/unmute
Dr. John Frame 0:01
Welcome to the Center for the Advancement of virtual organizations podcast, mastering the medium critical communication skills in a virtual world with Lauren, Sergey. I'm John frame, Associate Director of Faculty support and development and associate professor here at the School of Business at North Central University. And today we're here with Lauren Sergi. Lauren is an author and speaker dedicated to motivating and enabling people to be stronger and more confident communicators.
She offers practical strategies that can help you and your team develop critical leadership skills, overcome communication challenges and make your ideas more compelling and memorable. Lauren is the author of the new book on mute, how to master virtual meetings and reclaim your sanity, which has a blurb from Seth Godin. Today, our discussion will focus on Lauren's practical insights and strategies for amplifying your impact, and improving your clarity, polishing ability to connect with others when communicating via webcam. Welcome, Lauren. And thank you so much for taking the time to come and chat with us today.
Lauren Sergy 1:13
Thank you so much for having me. John. I'm delighted to be here. Yeah,
Dr. John Frame 1:17
that's great. Well, in previous episodes, Lauren, we've been talking about things unique to businesses and organizations operating remotely or entirely, virtually. Now, I think, you know, people have become more comfortable with video conferencing like in zoom. We even prefer it now. But you know, there are still a few things that sometimes can cause us some angst, I think, some people may not like to have their camera on, for example. Some dread the virtual presentation, that's me. It can it can be terrifying.
So I'll raise my hand to that. You know, doing a virtual presentation to me gives me more nerves, I think and doing an in person one. So so this is a timely discussion. You know, how how we can be excellent in our communication in a virtual organization? And how can we make we perhaps, how can we perhaps even enjoy communication in the virtual space? Maybe that's a big ask Lauren? I don't know.
But I'm so glad you managed to have this discussion with us today. Yes. So let me first ask you this. So it can be challenging to build and maintain strong connections with others. In the virtual workplace, especially. Of course, technology plays a vital role. So how do you think how do you think technology has changed the way we communicate in the virtual environment?
Lauren Sergy 2:52
Well, what we need to realize about virtual environments is that they are not stand ins for face to face, which I know sounds painfully obvious on the surface. Well, thank you for telling me something the whole world knows. However, we often expect them to do the same kind of heavy lifting, as face to face interaction.
And when we when we adopt that mindset that you know, as long as we can see each other on camera, it is as good or the same, I should say, as being face to face, what we're not doing is recognizing the inherent the inherent limitations and opportunities of this medium. And that I think is where a lot of people still still fall a little bit flat. virtual meetings in our current world have gone a very long way for leveling the playing field. For many businesses and organizations. You know, it used to be that only the big companies only the only the companies with very deep pockets could afford to fly people all over the world or have a really, really wide geographic reach.
But thanks to the mainstream uptake of virtual communication and video conferencing now that that playing field has been more much more level people who are in small organizations or who are very geographically restricted, can access more people and importantly, be seen by more people. That being said, it doesn't it doesn't completely, completely do away with the ability to see and be seen in person. We got to know how to work this medium, if we really want it to be if we really want to use it to be able to shine and be able to get that additional geographic reach.
Dr. John Frame 4:47
Hmm, yes, absolutely. So what role do you think communication has and how people perceive us in the virtual workplace?
Lauren Sergy 4:58
It's everything extremely biased because of course, that's my niche, right I, I am, I am eyeball deep in everything that is communication. But what we have to remember about communication is that everything we see everything we hear everything we can perceive about someone else adds into their message. So the impact that that has on the the message that we're sending on how we relate to other people, to potential clients, to potential partners, is that within virtual meetings, they are looking at your space, they are looking at your image, they are hearing your voice, they're seeing how you behave on camera. And all of those non message like all of those visual and audio, things that are going on, are going to impact how they interpret your information, how they interpret what it is, you're telling them.
And that's an area again, that with virtual is one of those huge opportunities, because in virtual meetings, you can have an enormous amount of control over what people see and how they perceive you. But it's also one of those areas where many people aren't accustomed to thinking strategically about and can become quite intimidating. I Oh, no, I see myself on camera, I'm painfully aware that I'm on camera, and then we start acting all weird. So being able to be comfortable with the medium comfortable in front of the camera, and consistently working what people see. So that you're always reinforcing the message you want plays a very, very critical role into the way you communicate with others.
Dr. John Frame 6:45
Absolutely. So So you just mentioned several challenges there. What do you think are some other challenges in terms of communicating in this virtual workplace?
Lauren Sergy 6:55
Well, as I mentioned, one of the big challenges is that people aren't used to considering all of those appearance factors, all of those really, really small appearance factors in context of their greater message. So for many, even for people who have been using virtual meetings for many, many years, they haven't always looked at themselves on camera, or in their meetings from the perspective of, let's say, a TV producer, because they, you know, it was never that big of a deal. Perhaps they didn't really have to all that much from back then. So that is one of the challenges that's definitely come up.
And that is particularly pronounced for people to whom this is a relatively new area of communication. So even if most of your work was done remotely, but you're not used to being on camera all the time, that is now expected of people. And it's something that we need to negotiate with. The other big challenge that virtual has created in our workplaces does have to do a bit with that increased geographic reach, it has to do with the fact that we're now much more accessible than we ever have been before. Now, before the accessibility Yes, we you know, we all had the same, quote, unquote, the same 24 hours a day. And perhaps we were involved in a whole lot of meetings.
But with the advent of virtual with this becoming mainstream, now, everyone's accessibility has increased. So we have a tendency to over schedule ourselves even more than we did before. Because we can connect with people from coast to coast so easily we can get online with those partners that we never used to work with in the past so easily. And that leads to a significant overuse of virtual meetings in our day to day lives, which can drastically increase stress and fatigue.
Dr. John Frame 8:52
Hmm, really good points, Lauren. So let's take a team leader, and a virtual organization. Let's say she wants to really help enhance communication among her team. So she has this goal, can you can you share some coaching strategies that she and team leaders can use to help others actually, perhaps feel more comfortable with remote communication?
Lauren Sergy 9:20
Absolutely, there's a number of things that if you're, if you're leading a team you can do to help everyone get a bit more comfortable in front of the camera. First up, I really want you to set expectations for how people show up in their meetings. Within virtual there's a lot of opportunity for us to present ourselves very differently from one another. And this is something that teams who were once accustomed to seeing each other in person in the workplace didn't really have to contend with. If you were having a meeting. Everyone could see one another.
You're all in the same room together. People usually wore similar clothing. The space in which you met was consistent. It might have been in an office or it might have been in a cafe. But whatever it was, it was consistent within the whole team. Now you all of a sudden put everyone remote. And people now have to make decisions about how they're going to show up. Well, what do I wear, what spaces in my home are appropriate to video conference from? Is my camera on or off, that is probably the biggest one. So if the team leader sets kind of sets the bar, say, please make sure you're in a quiet space. No pets in the room. I'm not saying you have to banish pets from the room.
But many teams that I've worked with have established things like no pets in the room policy to to take back on distractions, you could say something like this is this is the sort of dress code that we would like people to show up in, it could be very casual, it could be more formal, that depends on your workplace culture. And then clearly stating whether or not you expect the cameras to be offered on that those steps alone helped to create a consistency of communication and sort of an etiquette that people show up in. And I say that this is important, because when you have several people showing up, in one way, they've put in the effort to have their camera on, they've put in the effort to put on some nice work clothes instead of the flannel jammies that I don't know about you, but I love to live in if I'm not on camera, they've put in some effort into their grooming in their appearance so that they're showing up for other people.
And then you get that one individual who resolutely shows up in a hoodie with a messy bed in the background, or worse yet, never turns their camera on. That one person can actually cause strained relationships among other people on the team. Because everyone else is looking at them as looking at that blank screen the person who will not turn on their camera and saying to themselves, I put in the effort to have a conversation with you, I put in the effort, I'm letting you see me, I'm letting you see my space, why aren't you putting in the same effort that can cause for a pretty rapid deterioration of people's friendliness in their communication.
The next thing that a team leader can do is help people understand how to show up well on camera in a way that makes them look and feel good. So if they understand how something like camera angles work, why it's important that we can see you, you know, straight on facing the camera, cat camera aperture level with your eyes, let's make sure that everyone is focused in on the camera that way because then we're looking at each other normally, instead of having weird Up the nose shots or, you know, camera angles, where you can only see the top of someone's head. If the team leader goes over that kind of angling and appearance, factor with their team, then everyone again will start showing up in a much more consistent way. And they will look better on camera, which tends to make them feel more comfortable on camera, these little skills add up, they all pile up on one another until they make a significant difference to the comfort of the communication.
I also recommend that team leaders are very clear in terms of who is in charge of each meeting. And who's going to be driving the conversation or managing the agenda. One of the realities of virtual communication is that nonverbal signals, such as exchanged glances, eye contact, body language, that sort of thing. They don't work the same way, in this medium as they do in person. And when we're in person, those are some of the signals that we use to figure out when it's someone else's turn to speak. That's how we signal when we want to speak. And in the absence of those conversation can become quite difficult.
But if you know who's leading the meeting, and they have been given permission to say, Okay, John, can I hear your opinion on this? Thank you, John. Melody, can I now hear your opinion on this issue? Sarah, what was the results of the last phone call you had from that client? They're given permission to call people out and open the floor for response like that, then it can make the conversation flow much more easily. Yes, it feels a little stilted at first. It's not the same thing as a free flowing conversation. But from a team perspective, it's more functional. So you end up getting more done in each meeting. And you don't have those long, awkward pauses where people are wondering whose turn it is to speak. All of that can really become very tiring after a while for always trying to guess when it's our turn. So taking a firm hand of the conversation that way can really help your whole came out.
Dr. John Frame 15:01
Yeah, so it sounds like learning that you're a big fan of structure. And you you talk about that in your book, and also about the video and the lighting and all of that. So it sounds like that this kind of structure can be very helpful. And there's almost training involved in that it sounds like and do you think that there's any other kind of training that leaders should consider to promote better communication?
Lauren Sergy 15:28
You know, it really does help actually, if people practice their on camera speaking and practice their on camera interactions, we do not come out of the womb, understanding how to mug for the webcam, you know, and that's something that especially when when everyone had to go virtual during the, during the early days of the pandemic, and you might still be in a situation where many people that you work with are still virtual, even though that is not their preferred modus operandi. You know, we really did have to suddenly learn how to be and perform on a camera. So giving people opportunities to practice their skills and say I want, I want everyone to give a five minute presentation.
But in this presentation, the only thing you need to worry about is making eye contact with the camera, and handing off the conversation. And engaging people don't worry about how good the content is just worry about those skills. And then having teams practice this with one another is really, really helpful for developing on camera skills. It's it doesn't need to be make work, this sort of thing can happen in relation to people's everyday meetings. But it does need to be engaged with very, with a lot of intention very, very deliberately. You need to give people this kind of time to practice this kind of skill.
Because oddly enough, many of us don't pick it up by osmosis. We know we should look at the camera, but we forget to do it because of everything else that our brain is trying to manage at once during these virtual meetings. We know that we should make our meetings more engaging, but we're not too sure how to engage people when we're not immediately in front of them. So those are all things that need to be practiced.
Dr. John Frame 17:21
intentionality, I like it. Yes. Well, we're coming to the end of our time together. So Lauren, do you have any closing words of wisdom or advice that you'd like to share with us?
Lauren Sergy 17:35
I really recommend that people look at video conferencing at virtual meetings. As a strategic communication medium. It's not just a way for us to lay eyeballs on one another, it's a way for us to groom our message to say okay, when when people see me, I want them to see how meticulously organized mice the space behind me is. Because that's a core aspect of my personality. Or I want them to see that I'm colorful, that I have lots of different interests that my that my brand that my organization is very people oriented.
So I'm going to style myself, I'm going to style my room, my backdrop everything to reflect that. I want them to I want people to understand that. You need to think strategically about the way that you present yourself, just as you would if you were putting together a formal presentation or you were recording a video or a press release. Because again, this medium lends itself very well to that kind of strategic degree of messaging and of communication. And once we embrace that, oh, you can do so much with that tiny little webcam.
Dr. John Frame 18:53
Indeed, so much. So Lauren, thank you so much. We've included your website in the podcast description, you know where listeners can reach you. That's Lauren ser gy.com Lauren surgey.com. Right. You bet. And Lauren is the author of unmute How to Master virtual meetings and reclaim your sanity. And Lauren, were my people buy your book.
Lauren Sergy 19:20
You can get it through your favorite online book retailer, whichever one you prefer. They've all got it.
Dr. John Frame 19:26
Okay, great. Well, thank you so much, Lauren, for being with us today. For being a guest with us here at the Center for the Advancement of virtual organizations at NC UB. We appreciate your insights. Well, we know our listeners are going to benefit from your expertise. And listeners. We appreciate you. Thank you so much for joining with us today as well.