Like a Mother | Matt and Erin Shetler

This Mother's Day, Matt and Erin Shetler teach on a side of God's character the church has often been less comfortable with — the mother heart of God.

Scripture doesn't just compare God to a father. Over and over, God reveals himself through maternal imagery: a nursing mother who cannot forget her child, a hen gathering her chicks under her wings, a love that screams "stop" and holds us close in the same breath.

Walking through Genesis 1, Isaiah 49, and Matthew 23, Matt and Erin ask what changes when we let ourselves be held by the God who said, "I will not forget you."

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Good morning, everybody. Hello.

unknown 0:18

Sit this down.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Welcome. If you are a visitor or if it's your first time here, just welcome. I just feel really glad that you joined us today on Mother's Day. Yeah, thanks for being here. So I was thinking this week about how being separated from your kids can be really difficult, especially when they're babies. The idea of being apart can feel like a really big thing. When each of our kids was born, I was fortunate enough to be able to take time off from work to be with them when they were really small. Then I returned to work and that initial separation was really difficult. That experience is not unique to me, but it's it's very real. And I think of the way that it felt to be apart, how it felt like leaving a piece of myself behind. There's a visceral response. Even now, you can just like feel it in your body. Now, of course, as our kids get bigger and more independent, things change. It gets a little easier to be apart. I know many moms would be quite happy to celebrate Mother's Day in a hotel room by themselves with the TV remote and a book. Um don't worry, I won't make you raise your hand. No shame if that's you. Then of course we get to come back to our wonderful families the next day refreshed and rested. But when we do feel that pain of separation, where does that come from? Is this simply some biologically protective mechanism built in to help perpetuate my DNA that I must protect my children, must be with them? Or does this deep desire for closeness to my children point to something bigger? Thinking about this reminded me of a line I read recently in David Benner's book, Surrender to Love. Shout out to my book club people. Um we're doing a book club on this book right now. It's a good one if you haven't read it yet. Um and this line really struck me. Benner says, human beings exist because of God's desire for companionship. We are the fruit of God's love, reaching out toward creatures who share enough similarity that relationship is possible. When God thinks of us, he feels a deep, persistent longing.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Yeah, and Erin asked that question of her experience as a mother, and does it speak something that in create the way God has created her and created women and people? And um, and here's the thing the answer scripture gives is actually pretty stunning because God didn't just create mothers and women, he chose over and over again in the Bible, in the Bible, to reveal himself through maternal and classic feminine imagery throughout scripture and in history. So what Aaron feels apart from being from our kids, that's not just biology, it's not just hormones, because God himself reaches for this exact experience when he wants to tell his people who he is. And we're gonna walk through three places in Scripture where God does this, where he pulls on this imagery and shows us who he is, what his character is like. And we're gonna look at in Genesis and Isaiah and then look at Jesus himself in the book of Matthew, because the picture that emerges of who God is, it might be different from the one that you grew up with. People have always wondered about God. They've always wondered about how do we know God, how can we know about him, know who he is, you know, can we even know him? Different religions and different people have understandings of how do you get to know God. And some people say you can't possibly know who God is. Or maybe he's just our best idea, right? Our highest thought is God. But the Christian faith has always answered this question the same way. How do we know who God is? And it's been this is that we know about who God is because God has chosen to reveal himself. A nerdy theology way that they talk about in seminary is only God reveals God. Like you can't all of a sudden go, whoo, I found him. Like, and he's like, ah, I didn't know you were there. It's like everything that we know about God is because he's chosen to show us who he is. Meaning that we're just kind of grasping at straws, kind of fighting in the dark, that analogy that people like to say of like you're in the dark and you're grabbing an elephant, different parts, and you're like, oh, maybe you know, like uh we can't really know who God is because we're kind of blind walking around. And that would be true, except in the Christian faith, they say we would say that God has said, Here I am. This is who I am. You're not wandering just around in the dark. And one of the earliest ways that God reveals himself, he pulls back the curtain, is in the first book of the Bible, the book of Genesis. And in the beginning, in the very beginning in chapter one, we learn that God is the creator, that he creates out of nothing. He doesn't need anything else, he just speaks into existence. However, he did that, we can debate that. But we see from the beginning is that God creates purely out of his own power, simply with words from nothing. And that he creates not out of need, not out of just loneliness, not out of someone to do the menial tasks he doesn't want to do, like other religions and ancient Greek mythology would say. But he creates out of desire and love. And in verse 27, this is what we read. We we get another insight. And in their original language here, it's written in Hebrew, and what I'm about to read is actually uh Hebrew poetry. And so, even though on the screen it looks like a long run-on sentence with semicolons and commas, in in actual in Hebrew, it would be three different verses. And so it's parallelism, and in poetry, the parallelism is what it's meant to say is that the the first line is emphasized by the second and the third, so they build on each other. They they're all meant to say the same thing in different ways. And so what we see is that so in verse 27, so God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God, he created them. Male and female, he created them. This word created comes up three times. It's the same verb, and he creates humanity in his image. Male and female, same verb, same act, three angles of one truth. And so it's not at the end, he's just saying, Oh, yeah, male and female, he created them. This is like kind of a tagline or a throwaway. This poem was be meant to be read together. All of it needs to stay together for us to understand what God is saying about humanity, about creation. In other words, to bear the image of God in the language of Genesis 1 is male and female together. That we don't see a full picture of the image of God without men and women together. That doesn't mean that means that men alone or women alone, and whatever characteristics you might want to uh uh add on to that, men alone or women alone don't fully represent who God is. It's incomplete if we only see, it's not just incomplete, by the way. It's not just incomplete or partial, we actually only get half of a view of God. And there's a cost to that. You know that Barner research has come out recently, they're uh do a lot of research on religion and church. And for the first time in American history, the people who are least likely to attend church and declining are young women. Historically, women have been the backbone of church attendance and in spiritual involvement, but the least church attending and the least spiritually engaged are young women. And there might be there's a lot of reasons for that, and we're not gonna go into all the reasons for it. But I wonder if one of them is this is that for some young women, they've been handed a picture of God that they couldn't fully see themselves in. Maybe we've only shown them half a picture of who God is. See, historically, the church has often been more eager to show these kind of classic masculine traits or or strengths that reflect God, but sometimes less comfortable in these images that we see in the Bible when God describes Himself with classic feminine imagery or even maternal imagery. And there's a problem with that because this isn't just modern Christianity becoming soft or or uh milk toast faith or or just like, oh, we're just trying to water things down. This is what God has actually chosen to describe himself in the Bible. When Aaron's wondering, is her experience as a mom, does that reflect God in any way? That's not just I hope, I hope in some way that these feelings are like they maybe they reflect God a little bit. I don't know. It's like God chose to say yes. He's answered for centuries that this is a way that I describe myself.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

So we'll look in Isaiah to see one of the places that God does this. Um, and in the book of Isaiah, which is in the Old Testament, we're jumping in at chapter 49, and we're hearing in this chapter about the city of Jerusalem, which has been destroyed. God's people, the Israelites, are in a season of devastation. They feel abandoned by God. And in verse 14, they say exactly that. They say, The Lord has forsaken me. The Lord has forgotten me. They're really in the valley. These people are struggling. They feel so far from God. They've lost everything, their homes, their community, their sense that God is with them, protecting them, looking out for them. Their experience is that God has turned his back on them. So, what does God say to his people in response? In verse 15, immediately following that, God says, Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. God hears his people hurting, and he responds with tenderness and compassion. He doesn't scold them, he doesn't point out his all-powerful nature. He refers to a nursing mother. So, why is this important? Why does it matter? We heard from Matt about how Genesis recounts in the creation story God made male and female, each with an important role, and each in his image. This nursing mother image is such a specific biological basic bond. Well-known pastor Tim Keller, um, who did not breastfeed a child, may God rest his soul. But Tim Keller named three of the things that make this nursing mother bond so strong between her and her baby. First, there's a physical bond. So she cannot forget. A nursing mother cannot forget her body reminds her. She feels pain if her baby isn't fed, and sometimes while they are being fed, but we won't get too far down that road. Second, there's an emotional bond. Nursing releases oxytocin, which is a hormone that promotes love, bonding, and trust. It's called the love hormone sometimes. It's science. Third, there's an unconditional bond. This really is a one-way street, all give and no take. This is the closest thing we have as humans to unconditional love in our experience. The closest thing on earth that we can point to and say, this is really the best we can do to show a picture of unconditional love. In this verse in Isaiah 49, 15, we see God choose something exclusively feminine and maternal to portray his love. It wasn't, well, no men were available to use as an example, and there's a lady feeding her kid over there. So I guess this will work well enough to get my point across. He's not like making do with this picture. He chose this on purpose because it was what his people needed in the moment to hear from him and to know that he cared. In a world where women's experience was often dismissed or invisible, God chose a uniquely female, uniquely embodied experience as the closest picture that he could point to of his love. God didn't, God's people didn't just need to know that he was strong and powerful. They needed to know that he could hold them close and comfort them, that he hadn't forgotten them, that he hadn't forsaken them. We certainly do see God declare his power and authority many times in the Bible, over and over again. Some examples are in Genesis, God says, I am El Shaddai or God Almighty. In Jeremiah, he says, I am the Lord. Is anything too hard for me? In Isaiah, he's referred to as the mighty one of Jacob. In Revelation, he says, I am the Alpha and Omega, or the beginning and end, the Almighty. These are first-person accounts of God stating his own power and authority. There are so many more examples of God's strength demonstrated throughout scripture. But here, God chooses to use the picture of a mother nursing her child as the best earthly picture of his love and care for his people. So here's the twist at the end, though. God says, can we put that slide back up of 4915? Can a woman forget her nursing child that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. So God's saying, this nursing mother whose body was designed to do this, and whose chemical makeup inside her body wants nothing more than to feed her child, even this can fail. Even that. But I won't. The truth is that earthly mothers can and do fail in a variety of ways, but God will not fail.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

So picture this. And maybe maybe you've actually lived this. But a mother standing in a front yard, and the kids are playing, and all of a sudden the two-year-old begins to walk towards the street, and the mom's too far away to reach, and there's cars coming. And what does she do? She screams her daughter's name out. Screams, stop, stop. This isn't the moment uh where it says calm voice, like, please come back, honey. Or like, hey, let me talk to you about the safety of streets. You know, this is not that moment. This is the moment saying, Stop! That was really loud. But like there you go for the imagery. And probably neighbors come out and go, What in the world is happening? You step outside and you go, What is happening? Who's screaming? You think maybe someone's angry, maybe there's a fight going on, who knows what's going on. But after that child is safe in her mother's arms and their heartbeats have slowed down, suddenly everyone becomes aware what that scream was. That scream was love. As much as much as the embrace in the cuddle at the end was love, the screaming out, stop, was love too. Because this is what love does when someone you care deeply about is in danger. And there's this picture we have of Jesus in the book of Matthew in chapter 23. And this is near the end of his life, and he's been talking to religious leaders in a large crowd. He's in the temple in Jerusalem. And Jesus, for 36 verses in chapter 20 23, is coming down hard on the religious leaders, like on the Pharisees and Sadducees and teachers of the law, and he calls them hypocrites, blind guides, whitewashed tombs, snakes, a brood of vipers, all with raised voice and intensity, I'm sure. And then we get to verse 27, and Jesus says this How often have I longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. And before we even get into the imagery of children and chicks, do you notice that what he says is, How often have I longed to gather your children? He didn't say how long God has longed to gather you close. He didn't say how long the prophets have called you to come close. He says, How long have I wanted to draw you close to me? The God that Aaron was talking about in Isaiah has a face, and suddenly this face, this body, is in the temple courts in the person of Jesus. And he's saying, I've been trying to gather you for centuries. This isn't a picture of Jesus losing his temper, going off the rails, and all of a sudden going, Oh gosh, oh man, that was really intense. Let me soften the blow by saying, How have long to gather you as a hen gathers her chicks? This isn't him toning it down. This is the mother in the front yard seeing her child go towards a busy street saying, Stop! Stop! If you keep going, you're gonna hurt yourself, you're gonna be in danger. See, Jesus doesn't go back and forth between tenderness and anger. He came from the same heart. It's the same heart that screams their names and then invites them to come close. He's not saying, You're hypocrites. Like this is like a brood of vipers. He's not saying that so they run away. He's saying, This is near the end of my ministry. He knows what's about to happen. A false trial, false testimony against him. Many of these same people saying he's guilty, crucify him. He knows what's about to come, and he doesn't have intensity because he's like, and maybe I can get you to not kill me. He's looking out for them. He's using his intensity. It's an intense love, it's a passionate love. So when that he goes and says tenderly, I've longed to gather you as a hen gathers her chicks for protection, for care, for nurture, to sleep, to be safe from enemies, and you were not willing. This is actually the same Greek word they spoke. This is written in Greek and where it says, I longed. It's the same word that Jesus then says, and you were not willing. So wanted, did not want. How Jesus wanted to gather, and you did not want me. They didn't want to be cared for by him. They didn't want to be mothered even by him. They wouldn't let him draw them close. This image is maternal, but it's not weak. It's love offered and love refused, both held in the same hand. This is our God in the flesh. Let me ask you this question. What if you actually believed that? That this is the way that God loves you, both with incredible tenderness and incredible strength, and that they're the same, they're found in the same one. What if you believe that God wants to gather you close to Him like that?

SPEAKER_01 20:02

So, what could change for us if we knew and believed how tenderly God cares for us? What could change for you? Some of us are tired, maybe most of us are tired, carrying things we shouldn't have to carry alone, powering through with clenched fists and gritted teeth, our faith, our families, our jobs, whatever it is that you're carrying. But what if you didn't have to do it that way? What if there was a God who wanted to hold you the way a mother holds a nursing baby? Close, nurtured, safe. Some of us have been hiding, believing that if God really saw us, if he really could see you as you are, that he would turn away. But what if Isaiah is right? What if even when we feel forsaken, God is saying, I will not forget you. And some of us want to approach this carefully, but some of us never had a tender mother. The image we're talking about today is a wound and not a comfort for you. Please hear this. God is not a projection of your mother. God is the source of all of the mothering you have ever needed. All the mothering any of us have ever needed. God did not get the love wrong. This fallen world did. God's not asking you to imagine the mother you didn't have. He's offering himself as the one that you always needed. What if we had a genuine belief that God cares for us, for you, for each of us, and he will not forsake us? Can we trust that he is that good, that safe, that gentle? Can you surrender to being held that closely by this tender God? We're gonna um start to wrap things up. I'm gonna invite the band to come on back up. Um and I'm gonna we're gonna invite people to receive prayer today. I'll review briefly a few things that I just specifically wanted to point out. Anyone who might be struggling to imagine this tender, maternal side of God. Maybe you picture him strictly as a powerful, disciplinary father. And this idea of God as a maternal, tender, caring entity feels foreign. Or the thought of being held and cared for it just feels too vulnerable for you to be comfortable with. God wants to meet you this morning. Secondly, if you struggle to see how you're made in God's image in this way, this tender, caring, loving way. That you can be a reflection of God in that way. So this is an integral part of who God is and who He's made you to be. Would you come and let someone pray for you today that you could receive the blessing of this gift? So I'll invite the prayer team to come on up. If you're here in the room and you're part of our prayer team, would you come up? Um and if either of those specific things hits a note for you, or if anything that we touched on today has stirred something in you, um, pain, maybe longing, a question, maybe it's hope, please come and receive prayer as we sing. It would be the joy of our prayer team to pray for you. Um, and I think that God um would love to speak with you in that way today. So come.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

Yes? There we go. Um as we were just uh felt like uh God was maybe putting on my heart, but this word builder came to my mind, and I feel like it's from the Lord, is that especially for some from women in the room, you feel like you're trying to build something new, you're um this word builder came to mind, and I felt like the Lord was saying that for some of you, especially women, have been trying to build something new. Like, especially in like your life of faith. Like that in your family, that's not something you're not coming with this lineage of of faithful people that have like they could have been kind and loving, but not people who've really said, I want to follow Jesus. But you feel like, man, I'm trying to build this into my family, and it's an uphill battle. Maybe because uh in marriage, you're not you're not on the same page if you're a married person and you're like trying to go a direction, or or maybe it just feels like as a single person, you're like, I'm trying to do this thing in my family when we're together. It just feels like man, there's just all this pushback. Um, but I just feel like the Lord just wants to like that he sees you, especially if you're like a first generation in your family, like or a long time following Jesus, is that man, that is beautiful and amazing and also really challenging. And that God sees you and He says, I've called you to be a builder, I've called you to be a builder to begin something new, and that He wants to give you the strength and grace to do that, to fight for that. And so I just want to encourage you if that's you, um, we would love to pray for you as well, too. And so, can we just all