Meeting the Need

Morning Mantra: "There is usually an inside story for every outside behavior."

When we don't understand a behavior we tend to think a person is doing something on purpose to hurt us. But beneath every behavior is a feeling. And beneath every feeling is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.

People's behavior makes sense if you think about it in terms of their needs and the motives to fulfil that need. No one exists this world to test our patience, wear us out or push us to the edge. They come into our lives for love, connection and a sense of belonging.

It's not your job to fix them, shame them, or change them. By all means protect your peace, but love them, and support them in identifying the need that is creating the feelings that are behind the behavior. Fill it and they will want to change their behavior themselves.

It's not always easy, and sometimes their needs cannot be met by anyone, but your compassion will never be wrong. And hopefully you will discover that their behavior has nothing to do with you.

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