174: Short Attention Span Clip Show Part 1

Not a normal show. This is a collection of very short clips from shows 107-142. If you don't like a clip, just wait a few seconds. 

We return to our normal routine next week - can't wait!

Thanks for listening!

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Follow Matt on twitter: @MatthewBorden4

Contact the show: 24theroadshow@gmail.com

IOutro Music by B-Complex

Transcript

0:00

What a Vermont, another bit of a different show this week. I'm rolling solo, Matt and Glo are in Florida, just kicking it. Hopefully they're back next week. I'm at the dining room table where we normally record. Freezing my ass off. Normally this place is super hot and humid, but it is freezing right now. So today'show can be a little bit different. So if you are the first time listener and you think this sucks, give us another chance. I would say just go back to shows and you'll get more of the normal experience. So for this show, I'm just going to play a couple of clips from past shows. I'm not sure how far back we'll go, just kind of like whatever I have on hand. But if you are a fairly new listener, it'll be interesting. If you're a longtime listener, then maybe you'll be reminded of some of our previous rants and raves. So you'll hear a clip and then you'll hear this sound. Then you'll hear the next clip, and so on, and so on, and so on. Alright, let's get into the show. But was it due to this podcast? Yeah, we caused the monkey pox. Did we cause monkey pox? No, I have to say. We're going to have to deny that now. Allegedly. Monkey pox is... It's about... You've never been to the mansion at the golf course, have you? No, like... Okay, when you ask me a question like that, I feel like you've never listened to one word I've ever said. No, I'm just doing it. You have no idea who he is, do you? Happy National Rescue Dog Day. No kidding. Yeah, finally one for you. Yeah, should be every day. And that's how that works. So what's today? It's National Rescue Dog Day. Wasn'that yesterday? It's every day. So, thus, Glow decreed. Yeah, today's the 292nd National Rescue Dog Day of the year. Maybe we can get Glow to run. We're gonna put her name on everything. It's gonna be like an 80'screwball comedy, like, Glow is the mayor. Somehow she gets there. It doesn't know a thing about anything. I'm sorry, Governor Glo, we cannot kill people. We cannot force people out of their homes. We cannot force people to move to another state. It's not allowed. We cannot bring back the death penalty. Maybe somebody threw him in. Oh, now you're suspecting foul play? Well... It is Largo. If you ever look up Florida Man, it's mostly Largo. That is 100% fact. Largo is the Springfield, Massachusetts of Florida. That is 100% fact. Famous cat, actor. Won two Patsy Awards. The only animal that won two Patsy Awards. From our movie, Rhubarb, that you and I reviewed. Yeah, two for the road, Matt and Adam, movie, show. And I was relating, because I read some information on Orangey. But Orangey was in the diary of Anne Frank. The movie. Not the diary. But she was in the movie. And he was the one that kind of let the Germans know where the people were. Oh, Orangey. Orangey. But in the end of the movie, he's the only one who survives. So Gloria asks me, is that true? I said, I don't know. I don't know if they had a cat. Let the Germans know, but in the movie... Yeah. She says, so there was nobody there to feed the cat. No, they're being gassed. Yeah, that's the funny thing about the Holocaust. There's lots of cats without food. That's actually how historians think about the Holocaust. What? No, they were being fed at a prison camp. Who? I'm sure somebody came up with a can of tuna. That's a cat. That's a cat. These cats just looking around. The people, they weren't being fed either. That's glorious. Where would bats live during the winter? That's a good question. Do bats migrate like other birds? They're not a bird. They're a mammal. A bat's not a bird? No. It's a mammal. Fair enough. It's one of us. One of us! One of us! One of us! Okay, cool. That's why I like them. I guess. You know what I think about sometimes? Oh, here we go. You know how like... You ready Matt? It's like a rocket ship into Glo's mind. So are you ready? Are you strapped in? You strapped in? Let's do it. I'm cocking the mirror for this. What do you think about sometimes? How in every UFO... Love it. Love the start, by the way. No notes. Perfect start. We took that rocket ship. We really hate it. It killed itself, you know, whoever was here. Kind of like what we're doing. Are we taking acid? Like, what are we doing? I feel like we're at that stage of the night where we're like, I got a theory, man. I saw this online. That's where they all are. So we started locally South Burlington, um, I guess you cannot drive a school bus drunk In my experience you can only drive a school bus drunk I have a cousin who said he saw one while he's hunting deer he actually shot a deer and they Oh, interesting. Yeah. Wow. My cousin Rocky. Maybe they're back. Nature finds a way. It could have been that 12 pack of Budweiser he was drinking. Well, you know, like, look. Look, I mean... I love my cousin Rocky, but he liked his Bud. Wow, look at this. Heroic Jack Russell saves owner from beer attack. Beer attack? Well, I can't ever say those two separately anymore. Bear? Bear. Not beer. Bear. So, bear attack. Why are you saying it like an old redneck? Bear! So, I want to say bear. You say bear the way rednecks say beer. Anyway, a dog came up. She's got two dogs, by the way. One of them didn't. The labradoodle. Didn't make it? No, no. Didn't even bother. I've stopped putting on stories where a dog dies. Just so you know that. Oh, okay. That's good. Like, I've stopped doing that. That's great. Because there's tons of... No, I'm just kidding. So, if you think about what dog to buy, and maybe you're worried about bears, don't go Labradoodle. No. Because Jack Russell ran off, distracted this bear, got its attention. And Labradoodle was just like, what's going on? This bear's going to pet me. When's dinner? Everyone loves me. are like a cowbell this is story of the week right yep someone is dumping human waste in the woods in Bolton now the town of state officials are looking for whoever is responsible although love this not to punish them but to get them help Thank You Vermont we wrap our arms around the poopers we don't push away So they found 400 pounds of feces and toilet paper tossed over a guardrail next to Duxbury Road. 400 pounds? How many years is that? That's a long weekend. That's a long weekend at our house. Because it'still going to contaminate underground water. I mean, yeah, you've just built yourself a septic system that doesn't work other than just to collect your feces. Okay, now 400 pounds is a lot. Yeah. What if I did it for, hmm, what if I did 401 pound burials? Is that better? I don't know. What is the, what is the, what's the limit of what, how many feces I can bury at one time in one place? I don't know. And feel good about it. I can walk away feeling like I just helped the environment. What's that number? It's manure, right? It's manure. Well, for some reason... Our manure isn't very good. Taken into custody and has been incarcerated since... Springfield! Springfield what? Vermont. Vermont? There's a prison in Springfield, Vermont? Why wouldn'there be? Every Springfield has a prison. Or they should. It's not fun. Could it be for the homeless? Why not, right? I mean, who else is gonna go... Why would you want to go to a bathhouse and take a shower? You could do it in your own house. I'm pretty sure the new fancy European-style bathhouse is not intended for the homeless. Just call me crazy. Glow. So, what do you know about Chester, Vermont? Isn'that where that president... I mean, that homestead went to? Chester B. Arthur? Is it? No. That's the guy up in St. Albans. Who doesn't... Chester A. Arthur. Chester A. Arthur? Sorry. B. Arthur is the golden girl, right? I mixed them up. That's my Halloween costume. I'm going to be Chester B. Arthur. That's what I was trying to think of. Okay, so it's not near Plymouth. Plymouth Notch is where Coolidge was from, but it's in the vicinity. Okay, so what do I know about Chester? Not much, apparently. Population glow? Oh, you love when I do this. I do. 4,298. 4,298. Nope, 3,005. Oh, but you gotta say it. Come on, I'm in the ballpark. You're off by 1,200 people. Well, when you're talking in percentage, that's pretty damn good. 40%. Not really. Hey, can you buy some beer? What? And I just said, don't ever come here again, and closed the door. And they rang the bell a couple times, just didn't open it. They left. And then a couple weeks later it was like homecoming or something, I was out of town, came back Monday morning, this group is kind of like giggling, and I'm like, what's going on? What is the deal? They're like, oh, how did you like that stuff on your window or whatever? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And they're like, oh, we took shaving cream and put penises all in your window. I was like, not mine. I was like, I was out of town. And so they were like, they must have got my neighbor, who I didn't even know, and just like, this poor guy next to me, just like, just like, why is this happening? So... My wife's gone, I was like, oh, I'm gonna have mac and cheese one night, just because I never can. Again, cheapo, dumbass, I got the price chopper version. Save my 49 cents. This is garbage. So what did you do? Compost it? I had a couple of spoons and then threw it away. I did not compost it. Is it compost? I feel like it's more like recyclable. It is compostable. Mix it in with the plastic number 2. Just bring it up here and it will be recycled. You're thinking of, no you're not thinking of Are you thinking of a weights field? You're thinking of a weights field. Oh, yeah, okay, Plainfield. On the way to Marshfield. Yeah, yeah, okay, so that's the real hippy-dippy place. Oh, that is... Oh, I know, Plainfield. Yeah, oh, of course, I thought it was, but I'm like, Plainfield? You're kidding, that Plainfield? What's the name of it? It's not Plainfield. That's that... I've actually mentioned this co-op. I mentioned that... Okay, okay, well, I really recognize that. We went from you not knowing even where this place was To now about to lecture me about how you've mentioned it before so just let's all be clear. What's about to happen Continue Had my I opened a tent in the morning and there was this great big old thing Okay, it was a 10. Where would you go to steal a car right now in Burlington? I don't know. I would never even... Oh, it's okay. I don't know. I would never even think to do... Actually, I do have a list. Here's my list of 10 places. To Forest Heights. Okay. Oh, yeah. I mean, a little sports car. Oh, okay. Now, let's not get specific. It's a jaguar over there that I really have my eye on. Hunter Green. You see these movies or Roswell, or you know, where I think Roswell all started the whole thing of what an alien looks like. The big head, the big eyes, the little mouth, no butthole, you know. I've never seen that, but... I'm always looking, I never see it. I've never seen a bow. He may have slipped and said something, you know, that he would not normally say when a patient... Oh, like a racial slur or something? What do you mean? Like my bush. Oh my god, how did we get there? Alright, it's 13 minutes in. Wow, that didn'take long. I was in a meeting the other day, and a grown ass man asked me my favorite color. What? And it threw me off. Why? Why did it throw me off? Yeah, what's the big deal? Because we're not on the playground. I don't know, like, when's the last time someone asked your favorite color? He's not asking for a date? Oh yeah, he's not trying to pick you up? Yeah, it's not our first date, and like, we're not kids. Maybe he knows your birthday's coming up, and he wants to buy you something. First time I've ever met this man. When's the last time someone asked your favorite color? In a non-first date scenario. Never. I don'think anybody asked me. Certainly not Gloria. Gloria, what's your favorite color? I don't know. I'm up. I think it's pink. Pink? You have a lot of pink. You have pink on you right now. You know why I have a lot of pink? Oh god, please don't, just not refer to the earlier... No! So of course, the girl was going through a pink phase. And now, I end up with all this pink stuff because I'm her size. So your favorite color is free. Yeah. Food, what do you got? I eat hot dogs a lot. Are hot dogs, I guess they're junk food. I mean, there's a picture of them here. Yeah, that's like the first thing. Hamburger, hot dog. Wait a minute, hamburger? That's junk food? It can be. That's the most American thing you've ever said. Front porch form. That, you know, I'm always laud. And, um, I didn't know what it was. You learned that word today in crossword. No, I didn't. I know that word. I love new words. Yeah. It's not a new word, but it's not something we ever use. I laud you for that. I have used that word in the past. We have recorded data. We have hundreds of hours of data. I'm not talking about last year. I'm talking about... yeah. I don't mean to use it. It used to be a word I used in the 80s. It was in then. You were so happy. Oh, I get it. The cows are the ones who are eating all the grass? That would be a step too far, because I think it would maybe be a little bit disrespectful if a cow was dropping a deuce on your great-grandfather's headstone. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don'think so. Yeah, that's cool. Not a selling point. Unless you bury people in there that you didn't like. That's true. That's to sell it for. OK, so you got a cow that's going to go crap on your Uncle Jerry for the rest of his... What a business! Rest in pieces. One of his baby's mothers, and they were fighting and he got in his car and he was driving away, but he had to turn around. And he was turning around and she was standing in the street and she karate kicked him through his window and kicked him in the face. No! She gave a roundhouse kick through the window in a moving car and kicked him in the face. Oh my god. Are you kidding? She had to be like a ninja or something to do that. It was a well-timed kick. Was she angry? Yeah, yeah. She's a little pissed. They had differences in point of view and she resolved it with a roundhouse kick. Through a window, open window in a moving car. That's incredible. OK, moving on. So we are two pros, one anti Little Caesars. I guess you were kind of on the fence, though. So maybe you're not anti. I'm just anti losing all these gas stations with a mechanic. It's an empty gas station. Fill it with something, right? It's not like some pottery place to try to knock down the door to put their stuff. You know what I mean? You know, we still grew up in a time when they'd come out and clean your windshield. Okay, well, yeah Yeah, that's where we are glue and the foo fighters are playing Forward you go to an autumnal market pumpkins. Okay, just you want to buy a pumpkin? No Matt I don't know how else to ask these and she says, no, I don't know what else, like, I don't know what I did wrong right there. But it didn't work. You can ask her, she'll tell you at any store, so what do you like about that store? And she'll give you something, and you ask her, do you buy those? No. She doesn't buy anything. No. So welcome to the police state. That's right. 100 new cameras. I'd like to know where they're going to put them. All over the place. Waterfront, Letty Park, intersection of church and main. You don't have one now at church and main? That's insane. That's where all the, everything happens is down there. Hey man, we should put them in the parking garages. It's like, yeah, put them where the crimes are. They have a shooting every month in the parking garage, why not put it over there? I don't want to be on a college campus these days. Why? Shootings? No, that's high school. Oh, or elementary. So what's that all about? I don't know, it's just... Here's our good old friend, The Willowton Town Cobbler Oh no, it's gonna close Finally retiring Oh no I say good written... sorry, go ahead Now we won't even have a cobbler Yeah, guess what? We don't have a wagon wheel maker You know what I mean? Like, what do you want? We don't have a blacksmith If I was a pilot, I would be a fucking asshole Like, I would let everyone know every time I met them that I was a pilot. Why? Because, how many pilots do you know? Don. Well, touche. Bill. Alright, well, maybe it's not as impressive as I thought five seconds ago. No, but that used to have a lot of weight, being a pilot. Oh, yeah. If you flew for TWA or something... TWA? I love that reference. TBD dinner, man, they got pretty good, to be honest. They got better over the years. Like a nice Salisbury steak with some mashed potatoes. It's not so bad. I like the fried chicken ones. Oh, wow. They were... Swanson's was better. Banquet's the garbage. But yeah, potatoes, and then they actually put a dessert in there. Yeah, because I deserve it. I deserve it. I went through all the work of heating this thing up. The radio one, John Sterling, who's one of the worst announcers in baseball. What does he sound like? He's 80 years old. He has these home run calls for each player on the Yankees. So, you know, judges all rise, you know, that kind of stuff. That'so terrible, I kind of like it. At first I hated it, now I kind of like it. Would you ever buy a newspaper? No. I thought you did. Wait, did you buy a newspaper? Oh, I did! Yeah, okay, I did, I owned a newspaper! Wow, I feel like you both just failed the newlyweds game. Oh my god! Are you talking about the Middlesex Occasional? Yeah, well you, there's a story. Wait, wait It's my birthday, so I got the middle sex occasional, you know? Tell us about this volunteer you ignored. She was a child... Guys, that's worse! Did she actually pay you to work there? She was a child of East Asian descent. I'm not sure where she came from. She came with the paper. That's hilarious. She was a volunteer. Hair coach volunteer. I just love the gall of this guy. They're having this meeting about like this serious issue. He goes, but um Yeah, you're telling me you can aggressively panhandle, but you can't leave your house naked I want this guy to like raise every issue like you're trying to raise the taxes for a new school But I can't ride my bike downtown naked i love this guy's like one issue candidate like uh good for him yeah i just i we like this guy i love this guy uh what is his name ethan lawrence ethan lawrence there's like a handwritten or like a cursive note do you see it like the image yeah okay half of the population can't read that right like a certain age like being so this is only for old people i'm just saying like You know, if our theme is like, those kids, like... Wait, because it's incursive. It's incursive. You know, my friend said, told me that only like last week, and I am shocked. I mean, I was shocked then. You mean to tell me there are people who are now driving a car who can't read this because it's incursive? You're telling me there's people driving a car who can't read this and I can't ride my bike naked downtown? What kind of world do we live in? And honey, what does driving a car and reading cursive have to do with each other? Because you don't want to be doing it at the same time, right? I think she's talking about the age of people. Yes. Well, I just remember reading this story about cannibals. and how, you know, it wasn't such a bad idea, right? Because it kept... We'recording, by the way. We're in space. No, we are recording, we are recording. So, I was about to give her a pro cannibals dance. Perfect for your holiday. I didn't see this, I didn't have this on my list. Cannibals, not such a bad idea. Okay, move on. Well, because, you know, it kept the population in check. It was... You better behave, best behavior or else you're going in the stew You know, and then the missionaries appeared and said, oh that's that's evil, that's wrong And then they ate him And this is the big day, Thursday Okay, now, this can't be Thanksgiving because they wouldn't be in school, right? but you got juice, just juice. That's the first thing. I know, that's a feature for featuring juice. You got roast turkey, stuffing, whipped potato, gravy, green beans, so far this is like a gourmet meal, it's like, geez, rolls in butter, cranberry sauce, olives and pickles, ice cream, and then cause you're probably still hungry, yeah. That's a feast! Henry VIII sitting down there. That's amazing. I'm trying to think where I checked into Andre the Giant's career. It was probably like mid to late 80s. That's when he was like, I think Hulk Hogan picked him up and body slammed him in like WrestleMania 3 or something. Yeah, everybody always talks about WrestleMania 3. yeah have you guys looked at this picture carefully i haven't looked at it at all his scrotum is okay makes me glad i'm a little person and not a giant but you're not a little person because little person people go to you know it's like yeah it's like the extremes just like you know not long for the world right you don't see a lot of old giants No, you don't. That's true. A pond in Danville? Joe's Pond. It's where we drive by when we go. Oh, yeah. It's right by the West Danville store. How do you name, you get to name your own pond? Joe's Pond. It's Engine Joe. What? Yeah. Is this problematic? No. I swear to God. Engine means... Engine. I-N-J-U-N. Oh, this stands? No, there's no way this is... No, there'still... No. No, yes, there'still a sign. There's a sign. Great, and everything. No, there'still a sign for the... there's a little cabin area there. It's called Injun Joe's. How did this... how did this slip by? My grandfather said he knew him. Really? But Injun Joe was supposedly from the 1800s. So my grandfather's a liar. What's this next one? This is kind of a strange story. I had no idea. About John Deere. Yeah. John Deere was the only ones who were allowed to work on John Deere. How does that make sense? Whoa. They better have a long line of kids. Oh, it's not the family. It's the company. What? I don't know. What are you talking about? Adam and I both gave Gloria the WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Did you have anything like that? We had this thing called Odyssey of the Mind. And, you know, now that I'm thinking back, I was never invited to participate. They love no information. I know, but I love this first sentence. Police are investigating a death after a body was found on a Brattleboro sidewalk. It's like, thank you, police. Like, wow. Was it frozen? Was it a homeless person? Was it, you know, kind of... Yeah. What's the... And I love the name of the street is Flat Street. He was flat. Flat Street. He was definitely flat. Flatlining, right? Oh my god. Oh, Gloria. Yeah, you brought out the worst in me. The police officer. So the dog has the surprise, I think, the upper hand. Do you think the cop has like a... Like... I'm sorry, Matt, I didn't catch you off. No. Like, do the cops have like a command to attack? Oh, sure they do. Mine would be, put your hands up. To the dog? Put your hands up and it's a heart attack. Nuts are gone. Well, you've got to cover your bases, you know what I mean? You've thrown out some... You never know. Frame court stuff. If my best friend was a dentist, I wouldn't recommend him on Front Porch Forum. Really? I just can't be bothered. Because you're that lazy? I mean, it's a combination of being lazy, disinterested, and mild disdain for others. I don't know. Okay, but then what we talk about most of the time is the same type of person you just described. Well, I'm not a criminal. Not yet. Fair enough. We all have potential to be criminals, right? Well, yeah, Hitler showed us that. Let's go. Are you ready? I think we should have this on the show. We'recording. I was gonna ask you, as someone who worked many years in a library, a college library. Now keep your answers to the questions. We don't want any lawsuits. Yes or no. Yes or no. The less you say the better. Okay. Try me now. Okay. Do students actually check books out? No. I did not know that. I love that you answered it like you're on the witness stand. No. It was all pretty standard. Were they white? Oh, of course. Okay. Were they all male? People in select boards in Vermont, they are white, they are male. This is Hubbardton. Okay, are they heavyweight? Um, we don't know. Yeah. Let me see if these people were portly, because that's going to mean something. Let'see, the select board from Skinnyville is not objecting, but from Hubberton... I know Hubberton is a fat sounding kind of town, I guess, I don't know. Maybe I was wrong. No, he's 735. Sounds like a place I'd want to move to. Only 700 people? So it is in... where is that? Is that in Rutland? Rutland County? Is it close to Rutland? It's west of Rutland. How close is it? Can the Rutland residents reach me by foot? This is the last one? Yeah. Ludacris! I know y'all don't care, but Ludacris is coming to Vermont. I'm so glad. What is it? Not who is it's like what is it? What is Ludacris? I wanna know who wants to listen to this. Alexis, play ho! Gloria, play ho! A male giraffe called a bull nudges a nearby female giraffe, a cow, and sniffs her genitalia. We've established that. Sometimes she has to nudge her a few times. You know, sometimes. Gotta buy her dinner. But eventually the female giraffe widens her stance and urinates for about 5 seconds into the male giraffe's mouth. The Raiders are being taken. The Colonels. The Colonels. You know what, just put a f'n KFC bucket on there. You know what, we're the Colonels. But he was a Southern girl. Oh, you're right. Colonel? A Nazi. Explorers went up there and found these people. Google Eskimo Swingers. Well, no, they offered their wives, but you got to remember, these people have probably not bathed, and maybe you haven't either, so I guess it doesn't really matter, but yeah. Is it true? Let'see, did it come up? Okay, yeah, sleep with my wife, that used to be a thing, I think. Yeah, keep yourself warm, here's my wife. Wow. The Asiatic Eskimos had the custom of sharing wives between partners. Nang-sag-hag, who were considered brothers, shared food, helped each other in the hunt, and showed each other hospitality. That is a level of... so we say Southern hospitality. We need to change that. Eskimo hospitality. That is true hospitality. Like Southern hospitality is like, yeah, I made you some biscuits and some gravy. Esme Hospitality is like, I'll sleep alone tonight and take my wife. You know, there's always action, there's always love, there's always songs, a lot of dancing. It's very up and down, very melodramatic. It's the greatest love, the biggest tragedy, and that happens in like a 45 second span. And then a woman sings about it. And she dances in a very... Seductive? Oh no, it's not really. There's no nudity, there's none of that. I mean, it's like wholesome seduction, if that makes any sense. It's like, I don't know how to explain it. A lot of teasing going on. But it's an interesting art form because it's hugely popular still in India. Oh yeah. And it's been going on forever. I use mayonnaise instead of butter on the outside. Gotta use American cheese or cheese food product because it melts so good. And then bacon, it's good. Oh, you still use the American cheese food product? I love it. Oh, man. You shouldn't have said that. Why? You know, I love his sandwiches, but come on, man. I don't care. I don't care. Were you eating them? It's the best melting cheese there is. It's not even cheese. But you can get American cheese, but you have to ask for it at the counter, the deli counter. So they'll slice it for you? They have one that's not a food product. It's actually what they call American cheese. It's real cheese. Oh really? Yeah. Oh you never heard of it? Oh yeah, that was like one of my favorite cheeses is American cheese and it's real cheese. What is the name of the actor who plays the role of Guzman? a lot of kidnapping yes which is a crime I've never ever considered like I've never come home and be like I wish more people were here they thought this out quite a bit okay let's drive her right now that we have her what do we do with her kind of thing don'tell me they ditched her on the side of the road in the cold at one point she was left alone in the vehicle and she was able to drive to st. Johnsbury yeah what these dumbasses laughter oh here's the keys the keys are in the truck you're not gonna drive anywhere are you no body found at Oaklet Park yeah what kind of body a human human raccoon what kind of a human and dead those are the two things I can assume from the headline I'm at you have some bear advice okay the National National Park Service has offered a little humor in their list of things to do if you run across a bear in the woods. And one of them is, if you come across a bear, never push a slower friend down, even if you feel the friendship has run its course. They've offered some real advice. You know, identify yourself by talking calmly so the bear knows you're human. What? The bear doesn't know I'm human? Doesn'the bear have eyes? Yeah, maybe not very good sense or something, you just go, so what's up, bear? Okay, what if I'm speaking French, is that more calm or is that less calm? I think it just, it always is the cadence. What if I'm speaking German, a very harsh language, I'm like, go to talk! I'd say don't use German. Okay. I'd say that. Don't speak German to bears. Or any language that sounds like you're arguing. Yeah, Russian, I don't speak Russian. Use Portuguese, you know, there's a lot of shushing going on. Hello bear, I'm kind in Portuguese. I know I'm putting you on the spot here. Hello bear, I'm kind in Portuguese. You're dead. Your face has been eaten by the bear. Your brains are bashed in. You're just one more body at Oakledge Park. I was invited. My friend was like, hey, you want to hang out? Let's go up here. I'm like, okay, I haven't been there in years. I got there, as soon as I walked up, this is like 8.30 at night, dude and his lady scream-fighting at each other about like, I'm not gonna give you my keys. I'm like, oh yeah, this is awesome. I'm like, this is 8.30. So I walk past them, see my friend, I'm like, oh crap, I forgot my phone in my car. So I walk back to the parking lot, I walk to my car, this woman, this young woman in this giant truck is just slamming into cars on her way out. Not mine. I'm like, I saw nothing. I'm not starting anything inside. Like, I was like, she's like hit like three cars. Just like wasted drunk. I'm just like, man, like, feels good to be home. God, I miss Florida. People are gonna buy this horse's art. Of course they will. I would. We have a 7 year old's artwork that we bought from the Humane Society. Dog in Jail. Dog in Jail is a masterpiece. It's a masterpiece. It's one of the greatest paintings ever. I paid $35 for it or something. Do you think that 7 year old was making a statement about how no dog belongs in jail? Or were they saying, I wish all dogs were in jail? He's one of those people that hate dogs. Dog in Jail, my dream of all dogs. That's why I'm at the Humane Society, painting them. But the best thing about Dog in Jail is that the bars are clearly far enough for the dog to be out of jail. This jail ain't good enough to hold that dog. There's a hopefulness in Dog in Jail that can only be captured by a seven year old. That's right. It's like a Shawshank Redemption tale. I'm, I In server You mean this button?[created using whisperjav 0.7]