Unplugged Goddess

From Anxiety to Empowerment: My First Retreat Experience

• Kelsey Burchett • Season 3 • Episode 1

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What happens when you step out of your comfort zone and embrace discomfort for the sake of growth? Tune into today's episode as I revisit my transformative journey to Costa Rica, where I faced my fears and pushed past self-doubt to facilitate a business coaching retreat (my first ever retreat)!!! 

Tune in as as I share how these newfound connections and the act of embracing vulnerability led to significant personal and professional growth.

  • Experience the raw, unfiltered moments of my journey as I reveal a deeply personal story of facing anxiety and panic on the eve of a major presentation.
  • Discover how the powerful support from fellow retreat participants.
  • This pivotal moment turned years of competition and judgment into nurturing and support, showcasing the immense impact women can have on each other’s lives. 

Ready to join a future retreat? Mention this podcast episode in your retreat app and receive $200 OFF the Joshua Tree Retreat.
More details + application here: https://therememberingretreats.my.canva.site/joshuatree  

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Speaker 1:

you're listening to the unplugged goddess podcast, a podcast where we can unplug and talk about real life shit. I'm your host, kelsey bruchette. I am a spiritual life mentor and reiki practitioner and I am here to have the real conversations with you that everyone is thinking but no one is talking about. Join me every Wednesday to talk all things healing, spirituality, self-love, entrepreneurship, empowerment, relationships. Basically, no topic is off limits here. Get ready for raw conversations meant to activate you, inspire you, help you to grow and learn on your healing journey so that you can tap into your next level. So are you ready to unplug? Goddess, hello, goddess, oh my gosh. It feels so good to say that I'm so excited to be here with you all, to be back and to just allow episodes to flow whenever they want to flow. I feel like I've been in this space of needing to take some time off and really needing to reflect on like what it is my heart wants to say when do I want to take this podcast? And really, what I keep coming back to and what I started this podcast in the first place was for you all to just have a space where you can unplug, where you don't have to feel so alone, where we just talk about the real life shit that you know. We don't have these conversations, maybe we don't have these conversations on a day-to-day basis, and that's really what my heart is just here to share in hopes to inspire and hopes to maybe teach you something, and I'm just really excited to be here with you all. So today I wanted to talk to you all about this time in my business that I like to look back on and just be so in awe of where we are at today, and it ties into retreats and why I am so just passionate about you having this sort of experience, because I have seen it play out in my life in ways that are just so insanely incredible and mind-blowing, and just the downloads and everything that gets to come through when you're in these spaces. So I want to take you all back. I want to take you back to a story today, and I hope that's okay. I hope we can just have a moment of humanness and a moment where you go wow, like I'm not alone if I do feel this way in certain settings or if I do feel this way right now. Right, like I'm not alone. Everyone experiences this, and especially experiences this when you get out of your comfort zone.

Speaker 1:

In 2021, I was a guest facilitator for a coaching program. It was a business coaching program and the coach at the time asked me to go to her retreat that she was hosting in Costa Rica. And if I wanted to guest facilitate and I remember this moment so vividly of my first thought being, like hell, no, like I am not getting in front of people. I am not, you know, going to Costa Rica and speaking in front of these groups of women who I know are amazing and who, like, who am I to go to this retreat and speak in front of them. It was a really big moment for me because I had this realization of getting so comfortable online, behind a camera, right Behind a camera, on Zoom, like I'm super outgoing and I'm extroverted, because I'm in my own space, I'm in my own bubble, and so I feel comfortable. And so the thought of getting out of that space, going to Costa Rica and speaking in front of women in person, like I can't mess up, I can't do this, like I have to like face they, I have to face them.

Speaker 1:

It was bringing up so many emotions, so many limiting beliefs. I had every thought under the sun of. I'm not qualified enough, I'm not good enough. These women are going to judge me. Who am I to go and do this? Like these women are going to judge me, who am I to go and do this? Like all of these things, and I wanted to say no. I wanted to say you know what that sounds amazing Like. I remember I was like thinking up these scenarios in my head of like what can I say? To say no, but make it seem like I'm busy, right. Make it seem like something, there's something that I need to do, and I really had to have this moment with myself and be like Kelsey, like you need to do this. Like I know that it's scary and I know that it's uncomfortable and that's exactly why you need to do this. And you preach this to your clients and you preach this to the women who you're currently coaching online, who are going to be at this retreat right in person. Like you have to go and be the person that you. You have to go and embody who the fuck you are and so flash forward. Right, we get to the retreat.

Speaker 1:

And most of these women I had met through the online space, so I had seen their faces on Zoom. There were a couple other women who I really did not know at all and this was the first time meeting them and I remember walking into this villa that the host rented out right, and I remember just feeling so in awe and so just like overwhelmed by what was actually happening and I had this thought. I knew in that moment that something was going to shift, that something was going to change. The second that I walked into that door and I remember arriving and just we're like embracing the women are embracing, we're giving everyone is giving each other a hug, and I felt so safe and I never knew that I could feel that safe in front of strangers who I literally was just meeting for the first time. And it was just this instant like wow, I am seen, I am loved, and we were all so excited. We were all so excited to be meeting each other. We were jumping up and down. I remember some of us like jumped in the pool. We were all so excited to be meeting each other. We were jumping up and down. I remember some of us like jumped in the pool. We were so, so, so excited.

Speaker 1:

And I believe I was presenting on the second or third night, and so I think it was the third night and so, like the first night we had dinner, we had the opening ceremony. The second day was filled with amazing, incredible workshops with other amazing speakers, and the whole time I'm sitting in these workshops. I'm having this imposter syndrome. I'm having this oh my gosh, like their workshops better than mine already right, like I'm thinking these thoughts and I'm sitting in these workshops trying to retain the information, but I'm not feeling like I should be there. I am feeling underqualified. I am feeling like still just so in awe that I'm experiencing this and literally being like how am I going to do this tomorrow night? How am I about to present to these women? And so I, we, we had gone out to dinner that second night and I've I've told this story before, but it's just it's maybe you've heard it, maybe you remember it, but it's just it's so funny and it's just such a pivotal moment.

Speaker 1:

So we go to dinner and, as we're going to dinner, I'm kind of experiencing like a little bit of panic, because it's kind of setting in like, oh my God, like the next day I'm supposed to present, like what the heck am I going to do and how is this going to turn out. And you know, I remember walking to dinner and I'm just feeling so anxious and I'm feeling just to the point where I am starting to feel very nauseous and very sick. And I'm trying not to make it obvious, I'm trying to have a good time and this was really a pivotal moment for me because I'm able to take those moments that I was feeling in that space. And I look back now and I go why didn't I just open up, like why didn't I just tell people that I was nervous or that I was, you know, feeling this way? It was a safe space and I realized that it was because I had that deep sisterhood wound that comes up for almost all of us as women. Right, we experience this sisterhood wound of women feeling like they're judging you, of always needing to be in competition, maybe not even, you know, wanting to show emotions because of the fear that we're too much, and so I was feeling all of these things, but I couldn't really pinpoint it right. I'm just in this moment and I know I'm anxious and I know I'm panicking because of presenting the next day right, and feeling like I'm underqualified, feeling like these women are going to compare me to all these other workshops and it's just not going to be good. And so I'm thinking of all of these things and not really putting it together but just being like, ok, now I'm just very sick and I'm anxious and I'm nauseous. And I'm not telling anyone these things because then, you know, I'm supposed to be the coach here. Their point of view, their perspective of me has been this confident woman on Zoom and speaking to them and feeling really confident because I was in my own little space, my own little, you know, my own nook of security. And now I'm like real life, face to face with these women, and I'm freaking the fuck out. So we're at dinner and again I'm feeling sick, I'm feeling nauseous, I go, I need to go to the bathroom. And so one of the other ladies was like I will come with you. Morgan. Shout out Again.

Speaker 1:

I know I've told this story before. I can't remember if it's been on the podcast, where it's been, but Morgan, who was one of the women who was at the retreat, who has been on my podcast, who's later guest facilitated one of my retreats in Costa Rica, she goes to the bathroom with me and she's about to go in because I was like, yeah, go, you go first. And it's one bathroom. She's about to go in. I push her out of the way because I have to go, like I didn't even know that this was going to happen. I push her out of the way, I throw up vomit into the toilet with the door wide open. She's like standing there like what the heck just happened. She's so sweet. She's like trying to hold my hair. She's like, oh my gosh, are you okay? And I remember, in that moment, feeling such embarrassment but also, at the same time, feeling this overwhelming amount of love from other women that I had never experienced before.

Speaker 1:

I was having these flashbacks. I remember in that moment I was having these flashbacks to what that would have looked like if I was in high school or middle school. Right, and it makes me emotional. I'm getting emotional because I really never thought that women friendships like this were possible. I never knew how feeling seen, how feeling loved and supported by other women could change your life, and I didn't think it was possible, growing up, wanting so badly to be seen, wanting so badly to fit in, and that little inner child is just sitting there in that moment felt so loved, and it was just an incredible feeling and it sounds it's such a silly moment, right, it's such a oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

I threw up in the bathroom and this girl that I just met two days ago is like pulling me out of this crazy panic attack without even knowing it, just from being so nurturing, from being just so nonjudgmental, and the other woman there as well were just I remember I came back and we were just we're kind of laughing, right. We're just kind of like oh my gosh, like this just happened and all of these women were just so supportive. So just like, oh my gosh, you know, do you need anything, are you okay? Like no one was, like no energy of oh my gosh, I'm going to get back and these women are going to talk about how I threw up the rest of the night, like all these things. Not for a second did I think that, because I knew that that wasn't going to happen. That energy wasn't there, that mean girl energy that I feel like we grow up thinking and have experienced. Right, it was nowhere to be found or seen at this retreat. I had nothing to worry about and it was so refreshing.

Speaker 1:

And that night I was like this is it? It was a turning point for me. I said this is it. This is what other women need to experience. Because if I feel this way, if I feel like my whole life I had grown up thinking that women were mean, that women were in competition with each other, that women, you know, we aren't meant to be like there for each other, and I spent my whole life thinking that. And then to come to this retreat and to be in a space where women were supportive, where women were lighting you up, where women believed in you more than you believed in yourself, I was like this is incredible, like this is what is going to change the vibration of this planet, and I do not say that lightly Like I truly believe that when we, as women, get together, we get to change the fucking world, like it's as simple as that, like we get to change the fucking world.

Speaker 1:

And so and it wouldn't have happened if I would have listened to my first initial reaction of no, that's outside of my comfort zone, of heck, no, I am not getting into a space with other women, with strangers. There's no way that I'm going to meet women and feel connected with them in a matter of a day or in a matter of three days, four days, and it happened like that. And that is the power of getting in spaces with other women who see you, who are doing the same thing as you, who vibrate on the same frequency, on the same level as you, same frequency, on the same level as you. It is absolutely insane and it'll take you to that next level and it could be that missing piece of you getting to that next level. I truly believe that, because I left that retreat a completely different person, left that retreat a completely different person.

Speaker 1:

So we flash forward to the night of me doing the damn thing, me doing the presentation, and again I'm so nervous beforehand I'm like, okay, I remember I had this whole pep talk with myself. I did some mirror work before it and I was just telling myself like you have fucking got this, like I was telling little me that I got this, that there's nothing to be ashamed of, that there's nothing to be worried about, that I am who the fuck I am, and these women want to hear what I have to say. They need to hear what I have to say. The workshop went absolutely incredible and I remember afterwards one of the women came up to me and she said, remember I started off that workshop, I go, I'm really nervous, I'm really nervous. And I remember the one of the women came up to me afterwards and she was like I could not even tell you were nervous, like you are bored to do this, like what are you talking about? Like you were so confident up there and you know you were all of these things. And it brought me to tears because in that moment I go wow, sometimes we just need other people to see it in us. What we already know is within, and I feel like that's the power of these retreats is sometimes we know we have it in us, but we need these outside parties to truly see it in us as well and to tell us that that's what they see in us and that is the power of sisterhood.

Speaker 1:

You guys, I have met from that retreat. I met my soul sister, emily, who you guys I'm sure know and love right, we've done podcast episodes, we've hosted our very first retreat together and it was from just meeting at a retreat. Like the possibilities are endless. I have so many amazing connections that I still talk to you from this retreat. We have a whole group chat, one of the Morgan, morgan who was there with me to hold my hair as I was throwing up, is literally officiating my wedding next year. She's officiating my wedding all from us just meeting at a retreat. And so when I tell you that there really is nothing like connections that you will make at a retreat, I truly, deeply, thousand percent, believe that and have witnessed it and have experienced it firsthand, and it's unlike any other connection or relationship that you will ever experience. It is the most supportive, it is the most genuine, it is the I see you, I hear you, type of friendship.

Speaker 1:

You know, before that retreat, I always had an idea that I wanted to host retreats, and I remember, in 2017, after I finished my yoga certification, I made this mock-up retreat and I was like one day I'm going to host retreats. And I remember, in 2017, after I finished my yoga certification, I made this mock-up retreat and I was like, one day I'm going to host retreats, and that was all the way back in 2017. And so 2021, when I was at this retreat, I kind of like not forgot, but I was like it was always just that thing where it was like, yeah, one day, like I don't know how, but maybe one day thing where it was like, yeah, one day like I don't know how, but maybe one day and as soon as I had attended that retreat, I knew in my soul that I had to host retreats. And so 2022, emily and I decide to host our retreat together, our very first retreat together. And I look back at that moment in time and I just wish I could pause and I wish I could just celebrate that girl more for just doing the thing that she knew in her soul was meant to happen and just going for it. And so, if you're listening to this and maybe you have something on your heart maybe it's that uncomfortable thing, but, like some somewhere deep down, you know you're supposed to pursue it, you know you're supposed to be at that thing or go travel to that place, or, you know, attend that event or that retreat. I just invite you to follow it. I just invite you to take a moment to really just let yourself go there, to just let yourself expand, to just go into this space without any expectations and to just surrender to what is on your heart, because what is on your heart is what is going to lead you to magical places. And so flash forward to.

Speaker 1:

We are on our fourth retreat now, you guys, which is insane, it's incredible, it's so exciting. We are hosting it in Joshua Tree this year. It's November 1st through the 4th and we still have some spots available, so make sure you check out the show notes of this episode. I will also leave a special little discount code so that I know you came from the podcast and, yeah, all the details will be linked there. I'm so excited. Joshua Tree is such a vortex of energy. It is just, it's insane, it's incredible. It's a place for you to really expand if you've gone through some healing work. It's a place for you to get in a space with all of your sisters to expand and to grow and to laugh and cry and all of the things together in community. So thank you all so much for listening. I hope you have enjoyed today's little storytime episode. I hope that you always follow what is on your heart and I will talk to you all in the next episode. Bye guys, thank you, thank you.