Why Your Inner Voices Are Trying to Help You Heal | NowShift August 02, 2025

Yesterday, we opened the door to a deeper way of healing — not by fighting your patterns, but by listening to them.
 We began exploring the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and the idea that you are not just one voice inside… you're a whole internal family.

Today, we go a step further.

Dr. Abhimanyou Raathore takes us deeper into the world of these inner voices — the parts of you that sometimes push, pull, sabotage, protect, or comfort you… often all at once.
It might be the critic that won’t stop. The achiever who never rests. Or the one that craves peace but disappears when things get hard.

Here’s the truth:
 Every part has a positive intent — even when its actions cause pain.

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why parts form in childhood and how they adapt when you're overwhelmed
• The gap between their intention (to help) and their behavior (which might hurt)
• The danger of silencing or shaming parts — and what actually happens when you do
• Why only you as Self — not your therapist, coach, or doctor — can create permanent change
• How this work builds Antifragilience: the ability to grow stronger, not just survive

Start by noticing the voices.
 When you say, “A part of me feels like…” — that’s your entry point.

Ask yourself:
 Which part do I hear most right now?
 Which one gets judged or ignored the most?

Share in the comments. Let’s get to know your system — part by part.

And tomorrow, we’ll meet the core of it all: the Self — your calm, compassionate, powerful inner healer.

A podcast by Dr. Abhimanyou Raathore
Thank you for tuning in.

🔗 Follow on Instagram: @drabhimanyou_psychologist
💬 Join our free Burnout Reversal community: Transform Burnout Facebook Group

✨ Subscribe for daily transmissions
📤 Share this episode with someone who needs it today

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Anti-Fragilient OS

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Today is August 2nd 2025. My name is Dr Abhimanyu Rathore and I'm the founder of the Anti-Fragilient Operating System. Here is the anti-fragilient transmission for the day. Here is the anti-fragilient transmission for the day.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Yesterday, we talked about how we have multiple parts in our psyche as discovered and used effectively in treating anxiety and panic, phobias, anger and rage, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, complex grief, substance use or addiction, compulsive behavior, obsessive compulsive disorder, ocd, unexplained physical symptoms, childhood trauma, early neglect, relationship difficulties or disordered eating by internal family systems. Now, interestingly, why am I talking to you about internal family systems? Because understanding the difference between you as self and your parts effectively works towards helping you become anti-fragilient. That means you're not any longer getting rid of symptoms. You are sorting things out from the very root of the issue. Now, building on what we talked about yesterday, let's go further and understand why are these parts there? Primarily, these parts are our coping mechanism. Some of them help us function in everyday life. You know, when living gets tough, somehow some of them step in and they try to ensure that we can still go on. Others are there to distract us from the emotional pain we feel. And there are yet others that try to get our attention to help them heal. So if you see all the parts that we have are trying to help us in some way or the other, now you might turn around and say that, doc, these are not helpful. They become very painful. I completely agree with that. So this is where I would like you to understand the intent versus action. The intent of each part of yours is to help. However, the action might not be helpful. This is very similar to what happens, say, in relationships. Your intent towards the person who you love, who you care about, is always good, at least till the time you want to be in that relationship and you care about that relationship and you care about that relationship. And despite that good intent, many a times your actions are not aligned and they just land the wrong way and they cause more problems than they solve. The same is what happens with these parts, because when were these parts developed?

Speaker 1: 4:26

These parts were developed when we were growing up, when we were still young kids, so with limited resources, whatever way we could find of coping. You know of somehow functioning, whether it was numbing ourselves out and just going on functioning. You know of somehow functioning, whether it was numbing ourselves out and just going on, functioning, carrying on, or it was somehow being able to distract ourselves from emotional pain by saying having a chocolate binging, whatever, okay, or having displaced anger, that is, getting angry at everybody and anybody, beating ourselves up, beating others up, or screaming, shouting, trying to get attention, just to help others see that we needed help to heal. That's what these parts were doing. All these tantrums and everything that you seek, children throw, or adults throw too, because at the end of the day, we are all kids right, big and small, and and so all these that we've been trying to do, these are actually our parts who are trying to Let us function okay or avoid the pain or somehow get our attention that some healing needs to happen. Now the point is, whose attention are they trying to get? Whose attention is that? Whose attention is that? They are trying to get the attention of you as self, because the fact of the matter is nobody else in the world and I'm telling you this as a clinical psychologist and as a functional medicine practitioner, as a doctor who's been practicing for so long that nobody else outside you can heal them can help them heal yes, of course, external people like me or other doctors. We can help you create the environment, but the healing will only happen when you are able to form a deep connect with these parts. Are that sunshine for them, are that love for them that nobody else in this world, not even the most loving relationships, the best partners, can ever give you, the best parents can ever give you? It's only you.

Speaker 1: 7:27

So the ultimate agent of healing that you have is you as self, and that brings so much of relief and it offers a permanent change. In fact, you know, this particular thing that Internal Family Systems talks about has been documented, clinically researched to prove that the results through internal family systems are permanent, they don't go away. Why? Because suddenly the control of the healing is yours. Because you are the one who healed, who connected with your parts and understood them, understood their intent and their action, just like you would understand the intent of a small little child trying to play and that same child's action breaking your favorite glass in your crockery set. So the intent was just to play, but the action was something which you were like, so upset about. But if that child was somebody you cared about, you would not go ahead and hurt that child. You would understand that. That's exactly what's happening inside you. Now let's understand who are you as self.

Speaker 1: 8:37

Now, before we do that, let's understand these voices a little bit more. How do they function? Right? So these voices, you know they get into conflict with each other many a times. Or sometimes you have one that won't stop talking, or some that won't stop talking, and I would like you to understand that these are absolutely normal experiences. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not losing your head, and everybody has got different kind of voices in their heads, and you know, and most of them have got different point of views.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Or sometimes, you know, they group up together and you know, if you are like most of the people, many a times you would wish that these voices kind of go away. You know, at least, if not all, at least some of these voices go away, like the voice that actually criticizes you a lot, you know, beats you up. You know, whenever you end up making a mistake, it tells you you're so useless, you're so pathetic, you cannot get anything right. Or the other one which you know tells you to keep silent, okay, rather than risk speaking up. Now, the point is this that these voices are there for a reason and the fact is that you would like to understand the reason why they are there. Okay, and you will only be able to understand that when you are able to keep an open mind and heart, without you trying to judge them, that, okay, there are some voices that are good, there are some voices that are bad, because what happens when you feel judged? When you feel judged, you shut up right, you don't share anymore. That's exactly what happens with these parts. These voices stop. That doesn't mean they don't exist. They will cause issues, but they'll stop sharing with you. They will cause issues, but they'll stop sharing with you. So today we are going to go ahead and help you understand, or I'm going to help you understand.

Speaker 1: 11:12

How is it that you can hear these voices more mindfully, if you hear yourself ever talk like this, that you know a part of me, something which I referred to yesterday also, a part of me wants to. You know a part of me, something which I referred to yesterday also a part of me wants to do this, a part of me wants to do that, a part of me wants to do this, a part of me doesn't want to do that. Or you hear another part of you inside another voice, which tells you that you know it's better to be perfect rather than getting criticized. You know, and or there was another part of you which made you feel that you're very upset and you had that really uncomfortable sense that you were as vulnerable as a child again. Or, you know, after periods of stress upset, a voice which tells you that you know what you deserve a treat, you deserve a break, you deserve to do something to blow off that steam. Right.

Speaker 1: 12:24

And if you've had any of these experiences, or any variation of these experiences, you've already congratulations. You've already experienced parts, or at least congratulations. You have recognized that you've experienced the parts, because the part's always there. So do share in your comments. How did this connect and what is the part that troubles you the most? I would love to hear it and then we could help you move further down the road of becoming anti-frigilant. I'll take this discussion forward tomorrow and help you understand what is self. That's all I have for today. I'll see you tomorrow, bye-bye.