introducing duck-count

*Watch on YouTube* ... Eccentric tech CEO Braxton Felch knows how important high-fives are to lonely guys. That's why his company created DuckCount, the most technologically advanced social media platform ever released. Its cutting-edge I.J.K. technology utilizes proprietary algorithms so complex that they require quantum computing to execute. Download it today!

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Here at Inno Labs Incorporated, we take high five seriously. That's why we invented DuckCount, a brand new app that makes sure no high five goes unnoticed. By combining legacy OCR technology with our cutting-edge proprietary algorithms, DuckCount automatically tracks your every high five, fist bump, and side hug. Hello, I'm Braxton Felch, CEO of Inno Labs Incorporated, where problem solving is our only focus. Our research team found that there's a steadily increasing population of drunk men slapping each other fives all around us. Our data suggests that the typical American male between the ages of 25 and 52 seeks an average of six high fives per hour spent at the bar. All of us have been there. So desperately lonely that incessant recurring high fives are all we can muster to feel like we're part of something. But the only thing we were part of was the sad scenery that makes bro bars so depressing. Well, that's about to change. Because duck count is here, and all it takes is a quick visit to the app store for you to finally belong. Thanks to our patented IJK technology, you can earn points for every high five you land during a night on the town. Did you just successfully execute a high five? That's worth five duck points. Did you just slap five with the same partner back to back? It's worth another five. What's that you say? You pulled off an air five from ten meters away? How's ten duck points sound? And it's not just high fives. Get a point every time you point at someone from across the bar. Double your score by making finger pistols. And for the whole month of October, you can triple your duck points by blowing on your finger pistols afterwards. Throw your arm around a buddy and earn another point. Tell him you love him for a couple more. I know what you're thinking, Braxton. Is there any way to lose duck points? And yes, while your point total will be penalized for things like being left hanging or engaging in one of those half-fist, half-hand grab maneuvers, Duck Count prefers to focus on the positives. Plus, if you can convince all your friends to download the app, they'd be penalized for these same missteps. So I wouldn't worry too much. Perhaps the most revolutionary feature of Duck Count is in how it reports your performance to you. No more staring at your phone while you're out there at the bar, because you won't find a real-time leaderboard. We at DuckCount couldn't live with ourselves if you were wasting prime high-fiving time by obsessing over your duck score. So instead, you'll get an email the following day with your tabulated results. Imagine heading out to a sports bar with some old friends before running high fives like Roughshod through a B-dubs. You black out and you fall asleep. Suddenly, you're awakened by our signature notification quack, which means it's time for those results. Compare your past night's accomplishments with your real life and virtual friends alike. Climb the in-app leaderboard and share screenshots on Facebook. Lately, I've been getting a lot of questions about how DuckCount works. Questions like, do I need to wear a system of motion tracking sensor devices? The answer is no. DuckCount utilizes an intuitive AI system that we've coined IJK, or it just knows technology. Then they'll ask me, so it's like listening and watching us all the time? Not exactly. It just knows. It just knows. How did it know to deduct five points when I apologized to that guy at the party for talking too much, even though the said apology was a further example of my talking too much? To put it simply, it just does. It just knows. Duck count. Because drunken high fives deserve more than just a fleeting moment. Download duck count today at the App Store or Google Play, now available for Blackberry.