Unsure to Unstoppable with James Dunn

From Boudoir to Breakthrough: Stacy Musgrave on Confidence, Risk, and Reinvention

• James Dunn • Episode 305

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In this episode, we sit down with Stacy Musgrave, a former boudoir photographer turned transformational coach, to talk about the power of risk, identity shifts, and the mindset needed to create a life of fulfillment. From uprooting her life in Pennsylvania to chasing an undefined dream in Colorado, Stacy shares how embracing uncertainty led her to her true purpose.

Key Takeaways:

  • 🔥 The bold move that had everyone questioning—but changed everything for Stacy and her family.
  • đź’ˇ The unexpected moment that made her realize mindset coaching was her true calling.
  • 🧠 How shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset unlocked doors she never imagined.
  • ✍️ The life-changing habit she swears by (hint: it's not what you think).

Listen now and discover how stepping into the unknown can lead to the greatest breakthroughs.

Resources Mentioned:

  • You're a Badass – Jen Sincero
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself – Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • Outwitting the Devil – Napoleon Hill
  • The Wealth Money Can't Buy – Robin Sharma
  • Conversations with God – Neale Donald Walsch


#MindsetShift #PersonalGrowth #EntrepreneurLife #SelfDiscovery #FearlessLiving #GrowthMindset #ConfidenceCoach #TakeTheLeap #JournalingForSuccess #BoldMoves



Find Stacey on Instagram @staceymusgrave where she goes live Monday through Friday, or join her membership "Your Happiest Life" for those new to personal development.


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James:

Hello and welcome to the Unsure to Unstoppable podcast. My name is James Dunn and I was adopted. I grew up in a household with an alcoholic father and I was arrested for attempted armed robbery when I was 17 years old. Why do I share that with you in this podcast introduction? Well, because while you may not have gone through any one of those specific set of circumstances yourself, you've had your own version of them. Whether it's a loss of a job, a divorce you were picked on as a kid something in your life has created this little voice in the back of your head that's made you doubt yourself, question yourself and what you're truly capable of.

James:

As a podcast host and as a mindset coach, what I do is I help you tell that little voice in the back of your head to shut the fuck up, get out of your own way and move from unsure to unstoppable. And how I plan to do that is each week. I'm going to bring you stories of inspiration, motivation. My own challenges, my own struggles, as well as those of others who've gone through challenging times, rough times, things that most people maybe just didn't think they could ever get through, but have not only gone through them but come out thriving on the other side of them, and through the sharing of those stories, I hope to help you see that you're not alone in this journey called life. Whatever you've gone through, whatever challenges you're having right now, it doesn't matter, you are a fucking badass and you deserve an amazing, incredible life. We're going to help you get there.

James:

So, with that, enjoy today's show. All right, all right, welcome back. I almost started doing a Matthew McConaughey with the all right, all right, all right, but I like it. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to the show. Everybody, I am excited to be here, as always, but even more excited because today we're going to be continuing our interview series and I've got an awesome, amazing guest that I've just met here very, very recently. I'm excited to hear a little bit of her story, so you're actually going to hear some of it along with me. But, stacey Musgrave, welcome to the show.

James:

Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me, I'm excited.

James:

Yes, well, I'm excited to get to know more about you. Like I said, we just literally connected barely over a week ago. So this is going to be brand new for both of us. You know, we just talked about it before the conversation. I'm all about authenticity and so this is going to be really cool. So it won't be like I have to pretend like, oh well, tell me about the most big, the biggest challenge you've ever had, like I, I have no, I have no clue.

James:

We're learning it together.

James:

Yes and um. With that, before we dive in um, let's just, in a nutshell, kind of give the audience just a little bit of you know who you are, what you do.

James:

Um, so that way we can kind of prep them a little bit for what we're about ready to find out.

James:

Yeah, yeah, so I'm a coach and I got here by way of being a boudoir photographer and I think you know what I realized was that I fell into photography. I found really like luxury, beautiful boudoir photography as this way to help women create more confidence and really like honestly see themselves in a different way. And as I started on that journey, I became a photography coach, helping other people in their businesses build their photography businesses. And then there was this moment of I was in a group call with people in my program and they were like Stacey, I think the. I think the pricing sheet is great, I'm here for the mindset calls and I was like whoa, this is my favorite part too. So this past year has really been about kind of stripping everything else away no pun intended with the boudoir photography and I arrived at this point of like truly broadening, which is kind of not not the advice you know that we see these days, but I've loved settling into this coach spot and it's been really cool for me. That's awesome.

Stacy:

I love that. Yeah, see, and I had. No, I know I I didn't at least know that you had the photography background, did not realize it was the boudoir photos, so that is definitely an interesting little twist. That was unexpected, so very cool. But we will go ahead and dive in if you're ready for this and, I guess, a little preface as well.

Stacy:

You know my goal with this whole podcast and the interview series specifically is I like to interview people with different backgrounds, different experiences, different perspectives, but specifically people maybe who've gone through challenges or struggles in their life, because we've all gone through them. You know we all like to mask these challenges and struggles, especially in the Instagram world and Facebook world. We like to show the highlight reel of everything but share stories of the challenges and struggles we've gone through so as other people hear them like, oh wait, they can resonate with that or connect with that and see themselves maybe in those challenges and hear how, maybe how you've gone through those and allow themselves to maybe be inspired by that or move forward through some of the challenges they're going through. So does that sound like something you're you're up for today?

James:

Sounds like it's right up my alley. I've been like never afraid of vulnerability and speaking to that authenticity that we were talking about. Just, you're speaking my language, so yes, Awesome, well cool.

Stacy:

I'm going to like go right for the punch right here in the were talking about that. Just, you're speaking my language, so, yes, awesome, well cool. I'm gonna like go right for the punch right here in, the right out of the get-go. So what's the biggest risk you've taken taken or the challenge you've had in your life, and what did it teach you?

James:

yeah, the biggest risk I feel at this point. Um, it was around like maybe like a year ago a little over a year ago, um, my husband and I were living in Pennsylvania. We had we each had businesses. I had a photography studio at the time and I went on a yoga retreat and it sparked this idea of like, why do we live where we live? And I went home and talked to him about that. It was April and by November we moved from Pennsylvania to Colorado, sold his business, our house, my studio, we both kind of quit our careers and we talked our kids into thinking that this would be the best adventure of their life and they didn't understand it. I feel like nobody around us quite understood it and we were truly like following a dream, chasing something different. And here we are, like I feel like that's the biggest risk to date, for sure.

Stacy:

Yeah, so was there. Well, first I have to ask more personal side where in Pennsylvania did you live?

James:

We were in Erie.

Stacy:

Okay, all right. Well, sam, I well I've got it for anybody watching the video. So I'm I'm a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan. I have no Pennsylvania connections whatsoever. I just happened to grow up in that age and that era, so I at least had to know if I went to school in Pittsburgh.

James:

That's awesome yeah that's awesome.

Stacy:

I just it's, it's my thing, man, it's, it's part of who I am.

Stacy:

Um, but that's. That's a pretty crazy thing to do and I love the fact that you showed your kids you know, like, hey, we can just pick up, we can move. You don't have to be stuck anywhere, someplace If you don't really feel like that's where you resonate, that's where you belong anymore. This was a chapter in life and we moved over here. Was there anything specific that that move you know kind of taught you or that really kind of bubbled up to the surface that you, yeah, yeah for sure.

James:

It's interesting because at the beginning, you know, my husband always has seen himself as a risk taker and I've always seen myself as like exactly the opposite, like right in my comfort zone. And this is like my past self, of course, because now it's like literally the work that I do. But I think when we had that decision and, kind of like, started the conversation, we both had these moments and I think he says to me specifically you're not going to back out on me, are you? And I was like I think what's going to be interesting is there are going to be things along the way.

James:

There'll be days when I want to back out, days when you want to back out, and hopefully we don't feel those things on the same days, Right, but it was, I mean, the biggest mental challenge that I think we've gone through. Just the ups and downs of like we have an offer and then the offer's done and then the sale of the business and then this employee's quitting and it was almost laughable, honestly, like how many challenges we went through along the way, and in those moments it just brought us even closer together and we're like all right, let's focus on the vision. We know that if we wanted the perfect business and house and everything, we would stay right here, and so we had to hold on to this Like there's something missing that we can't quite put our finger on. We don't know if we're going to find it in Colorado, but we don't have it here.

Stacy:

Yeah.

James:

Like the list of challenges.

Stacy:

Well, I love that. I love that you guys are willing to lean into that and that you you have a partner, you know, that was willing to lean into that with you, because that can be so challenging, especially as people try and grow and evolve and they go on their own personal development journey. You know, I, unfortunately, as part of my evolution, my wife and I separated. You know, through that whole process I mean I it kind of happened before I took my biggest pivot probably in my personal development journey. I I kind of felt like I'd already hit that point, but there was definitely no turning back once I started going down that path, because I was just going down one path, she was going down another. And I love that.

Stacy:

When I hear something you know stories like yours when you have a partner that is on that with you together, it's like, hey, let's just pack up. We realize we don't know exactly what it is, but something's missing from this. Let's go see if we can find it over here. And, you know, going through that together and, like I said, praying to God that you guys are never both in that situation. No, this sucks at the same time, but you've got to have that balance. You've got to have that, that togetherness of helping each other through that Awesome.

Stacy:

So now, as you look back over your journey in life, is there, is there a failure, something that you tried? You know you moved and everything seemed to work out and there were a lot of challenges. But is there a failure that you've had in your life that you looked at at the time as a failure? But now you can look back and said you know what that actually set me up for some success and I'm really happy that happened, even though maybe I wouldn't want to wish that on somebody else or I wasn't super excited about the time. Now I see why that happened and I'm really happy that you did.

James:

Yeah, I think it's interesting because how, like, before I got into this whole world, I used to be a teacher and it's it's crazy how we can become such a different person in really like such a short time. You know, when I think back to that, I wanted a full-time job and I didn't get the full-time job that I wanted. And then I look back now and it's so easy to say blessing in disguise. I got to stay home with my kids and then started this photography journey and truly I know we hear this all the time Like I could, I could have never imagined that this is where I'd be Right.

James:

But like, literally, I never saw myself as an entrepreneur, never saw myself as someone who could impact someone else. Like it was a very fixed mindset, very, I made this decision. Therefore I have to stay in it. I went to school for this and, looking back on that moment, I know with certainty I would like I would still be a teacher, because I would just be in that path and I never would have even seen a different thing. So, yeah, there were challenges in my business along the way, for sure, but I think that is the moment where I saw myself like completely go in a different direction.

Stacy:

Yeah, Well, I love that and I love that you touched on the idea of the fixed mindset. You know there's a lot of people out there maybe don't even know what a fixed mindset is or a growth mindset. So can you kind of touch base on that a little bit and tell people who maybe don't understand what a fixed mindset is versus a growth mindset.

James:

Yeah, the way I see it was. You know, if we think about being in this fixed mindset, it's kind of like this tunnel vision sort of, but not in a good way. It's kind of this is the way it is, this is the way I am Like. I really think about the quote now that, like life isn't, we don't really see life as it is, we see life as we are, and I saw myself as someone with very little drive, opportunity and I didn't think that, like, I didn't see a way to be able to change that. And so when I learned about this growth mindset where we can really look for opportunities and look for places to grow, like that's why I wouldn't, you know, I've had people say to me oh well, nobody wants to be vulnerable, right, and I'm like, actually I do, because every single time I'm vulnerable and I look for growth opportunities, I find them and then that compounds. So that's been the differentiator for me, where it's like I'm in this spot with little to no opportunity. Now I'm really someone who's like always looking.

Stacy:

I'm like, ooh what are we going to do with life? You know, yeah, yeah, I love that, and that actually kind of sets up a little bit. The next question maybe it's you know is this but it was there a specific belief that you had to let go of, to move from unsure in your life to unstoppable?

James:

So many. Yes, I think two really like were the theme throughout. One of them, there was this big fear of visibility, putting myself out there, like I used to be someone who was so shy and I know like now I have a daughter who's very similar and we talk about like we don't make that her identity. And it was identity. I was just like so timid and I was like the way that I showed up on my first Zoom call red face, sweating, nervous, almost stuttering I'm like, oh, how am I ever going to be able to do this? And through you know, this was now five, six years ago like I've seen myself like it gets so much easier. Right, it's like anything we do it gets so much easier.

James:

But now this year I'm at the point where I committed to go live on Instagram every day. So it's so wild to see how this fear of visibility and putting myself in front of people has become easier and like I never thought that would happen. And then I think another belief that has held me back is just this speaking to that impact like never thinking that I saw myself as someone who could impact others, who would have influence, like I thought I was nice, I thought I was kind of boring, honestly, and a little bit forgettable and like, oh, she's okay, right, and what I've seen is that I'm such a curious person and I could see this, this gentle side of me, as being really impactful for someone without even me doing much of anything, which has been really cool. So that's been this biggest shift where I went from. Could I really help someone to how the potential to to change the trajectory of someone's life in a powerful conversation is wild.

Stacy:

Yeah, it really is. It is I mean because sometimes I know myself I've had things that I just throw out there. I don't say flippantly, but I just something. I'll just toss it there randomly, and somebody would come back five years later and say you know, just you said that one sentence that one time and we were talking, it's like it's changed everything. I'm like wait what?

James:

I know, oh my God, whoa, I better watch what the hell I'm saying, jesus.

Stacy:

You know, but it is so crazy, you know how big of an impact we can have on people's life If they see us living authentically, living happily, living some version maybe of what that person wants, you know, and it's not to say that we're rich and we're famous or we're this or that or whatever, but there's just something about the way we're conducting our lives that they want some little piece of that. And so just the most random little thing that you can say can have a massive impact on people's life. And also, you know, talking about changing your identity from being, you know, a person who was very shy and very timid. I know I went through the same thing when I was a kid, where I just I would hide in the corner, I wouldn't want to talk to anybody. I have my nice little tight knit group of friends and that was it, you know, really would just be afraid of that. And my daughter has kind of grown up that that way herself. And it's funny because now, like yourself you talked about, you know, I I flipped that script completely, you know, almost completely. And when people see my daughter being like super quiet, they're like really freaked out because they're like wait, how can she be that, because you're just not that at all. You know, like, well, I used to be like that and but also now I'm very careful and she is getting so much better about it, but I'm very careful.

Stacy:

You talked about with your daughter Um, that's not her identity, you know, and so I make it, I'd make it a point not to say she's shy, she's this, that, because then she's going to start believing that, she's going to start living that identity, and so I might say well, sometimes she chooses to be quiet, you know, I make it an action that she's doing and something that she's choosing versus this identity that she has. Uh, because I think that's what happened to me a lot when I was a kid was my parents. She's always oh, he's a, he's a shy kid. So that's how I decided I'm a shy kid, so this is how I need to act. Being a shy kid, yeah, I have to be very careful with those words oh, I know it's so true and it's.

James:

It's interesting because I've always been, especially from the boudoir photography side of things with my daughter, like I went into it not really realizing how much it would heal my body image issues and just like the way I saw myself physically and I've always been so mindful, like whenever I was working out in front of my daughter. It was like I want to be stronger, I want to be healthy, I want to like I was so intentional with that and same kind of thing with this, like I don't want her to have that identity, I don't want her to develop it, because it's been so hard for me to overcome and I'm like finally, I feel like I'm crawling my way out of it.

James:

You know, yeah it's been cool for me to overcome and I'm like, finally, I feel like I'm crawling my way out of it. You know, it's been cool for me to see her grow her confidence through moving schools, moving states, like it's just and I have I have two other boys too but her specifically, like she was the, she was one resistant the most, and so it's been really cool for me to see her like really growing her confidence from something like this.

Stacy:

Love that, love that. I think that's awesome. So let me ask you this what is the best advice you've ever received, this kind of helped you push through fear, doubt, insecurity, anything like that? Any special piece of advice that you've ever gotten or that you've read or just heard somewhere?

James:

so much. It's like these things. I'm like I should have this list of my favorite. I'm someone who I didn't really know that I dealt with a lot of anxiety. I thought I was like a worried person. That was another thing. My grandma was a worrier, my mom was a worrier and I felt really scared as a kid, just kind of of everything. And I saw myself growing my business and taking steps and lightly putting myself out there, but always with this underlying I know I could be doing more and I know that everyone, a lot of people, say that right, like we know that we could be doing more and kind of like what is that compensating for? And that sort of thing. But I'm like no, if I look at my business, like literally, I know there are things that I could be doing, but I was just spinning in anxiety and, like you asked, did you have failures? Honestly, I don't think I had enough failures because I spent so much time frozen and that's so frustrating.

James:

But something that really helped for me to push forward was action is the antidote to anxiety, and I don't know where I heard it, I don't know who said it, but like it stuck with me and that was all I needed, because every time I doubted myself and then I went into action. It was like huh, isn't that funny how that works. Someone reaches out, or someone wants to do a shoot, or someone loves the thing you say, and I, just like I said, I saw myself frozen for so long and the action just like helped me focus on how do I get out of this, how do I not feel this bad about myself?

Stacy:

Yeah Well, and like you just talked about too, about, you know, not having enough failures and that's from lack of taking action, and you and I both know that the more action we take, the more time we do fail. But then the more we realize, like you know, that didn't suck as bad as I thought it was going to suck, that's not that big of a deal, and you just keep moving through that and keep growing and you just you start to realize, you know, this is one of the things that I well, there's many things, and I'm not going to go on a rant about the school systems these days.

James:

Oh, yeah, because.

Stacy:

I mean, it was just as bad when we were kids too. But the one thing that I'll mention is you know, the one thing we're taught in school is fail. F is like the worst thing ever, like you don't ever get an F on anything. But in life we realize failure is, it's a part of the process. It's there is no success without failure. You have to fail over and over and over and over again, and learning that that's a crucial step in this system and in this process is going out there, trying not succeeding, figure Okay, well, what didn't work, what can I try differently? Let me try that and keep going, um, and, and realizing this is not the end of the road. Uh, that's, that's just such a huge things. And yes, that all starts with action. It's just take action. You don't have to be super ready, you don't have to have it all figured out, just take some action. You'll figure it out along the way.

James:

I know, and now I've really switched into like a let me test this mentality.

James:

And I think to that point of just like it's speaking to that part of our brain that is so afraid because these things to feel very real, like to put yourself out there to say yes to this thing, to try something new it's. You know, I never want to make it seem easy to just like, oh, just take action, just do it Right, like, I get the inner turmoil. I have felt it. It has held me back for so long. But when I realized, oh, I can just test this, like not fixed, I can change it, and the more data I have, the the more I'm going to know, you know, eased that part for me for sure.

Stacy:

Yeah, I've got a mentor and she talks about being the scientist. Like you said, just test it. This is all just data. We're just collecting data, so don't look at it as pass or fail or anything like that. I'm just collecting data, that's all I'm doing. So if I go out there and I try this, it doesn't mean anything about me, which we all know anyway. But I mean this is just me. Okay, I tried that. Nope, that didn't work. Okay, I, it didn't work. You can always look back to the whole famous thing about you know, thomas edison, I. I hate this quote because I could never truly know, which number it is.

Stacy:

Sometimes they said he tried a thousand different ways to invent the light. It's like 10 000 ways. There's a hundred thousand, but it was a lot of fucking times. He pulls what we're trying to say here he tried it. But every time he's like, okay, he didn't make it mean anything about him, he just said okay, this one didn't work, let me try the next one, this one didn't work, let me try the next one. He kept going, kept going, kept going.

Stacy:

And hey, thankfully now we have lights here and you can see us on screen because we have lights, because he kept trying um, but yeah, just take that action, even when it's challenging, even when it's hard. That's, that is a huge piece of this. Puzzle, too, is just learning to. Well, there was, there was always. I remember much younger years when they used to have like the no fear know, like stickers in the back of car windows and things like that or whatever.

Stacy:

Like there's always going to be fear, but it's learning to lean into that. So you know, I'm going to do this in spite of the fear. I'm just going to go ahead and lean into this because it's going to be okay. My, my daughter.

Stacy:

I've got this motto with her, trying to allow her to grow into herself and become who she wants to be, and I give her as much freedom as I can and I tell her as long as it's not going to permanently damage you or you're going to, you're not going to die from it, I'm going to let you pretty much make the decision on these things, because that's how she's going to learn. I can try and make all the decisions for her, but if I don't allow her the space to fail, she's never going to. And then when she gets out of the house, when she gets out on her own, then she fails for the first time. It's like what the fuck is this? Oh my God, I don't know how to handle this. I'd rather she do it while she's here under my roof and while we're together and while I can talk her through that. So it's okay, people, it's okay.

James:

You're so right. How old's your daughter? Just hearing she's 16. Okay, oh yeah, that point of like, she's almost 13,. I know it'll be a whole new chapter for me to allow her right Cause we have to like you said. That's such good advice for me as a parent to hear right now. We have to let them fail. You have to let them figure it out.

Stacy:

Yeah, it's hard but, like I said, I mean, would you rather you wait until they get out in, you know, either when they graduate high school and they go off to college, or they, you know, do college locally and then they go off, move out on their own? Again, you know, think about this, not just you, but anybody who's listening or watching you know is do you want your kids to fail while they're there and you can actually help them and they're literally there 24, seven or do you want it to happen when you're hundreds of miles, maybe? Or do you want it to happen when you're hundreds of miles, maybe thousands of miles or who knows how far away from these people? And maybe they'll call you, maybe they'll talk to you for 15 minutes about it? Probably not. It's so much better if we can allow them as much freedom as we can. Again, there's choices that I've seen some of our friends make. I'm like, no, you, no, we ain't playing that shit.

James:

No thank you ma'am.

Stacy:

But but again, as much freedom, as I feel like it's not going to permanently harm her anything like that.

James:

Yeah, it's so true. I'm glad you said that too, cause that's what I told my daughter about moving right. Like I know this feels really scary, but in a few years you're going to be going to college, you're going to be moving out, and I kind of told her that same thing, where you're getting to practice this with us. We're all doing it together and there's so much safety in that. But I think when we have that support we can kind of grow more, because we know we have that net to follow.

Stacy:

Yeah, it is nice, it's awesome. Now I know that you are a fan of yoga, breath work, journaling, things like this, but maybe it's one of those, maybe it's something else. But if you can recommend just one habit that has helped you the most in this journey of yours to get you to where you're at and you know, where you feel comfortable doing what you're doing and living the life that you live, is there one specific habit that you would recommend to people to try?

James:

Yeah, it's journaling for me hands down when I speak about that. First, you know, sort of like Zoom call I was on, I had to introduce myself for one minute and it was like the hardest thing I could have ever done. It's crazy to think back to that. But in that group, I know, you know, the coach was really telling me she's like Stacey, I want you to stop using the word scattered, because that's how I was showing up. I'm like I just feel so scattered. I feel like I have so many ideas. I feel like I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say.

James:

I like saw myself spinning and unfortunately it was probably like a good five years before I actually started journaling and it was on a yoga retreat and I remember showing up there with this really just frenetic energy, just like oh. But people didn't see me that way. They saw me as kind of calm and grounding. But on the inside I was like I don't want to miss anything. I want to be in every conversation. I don't want to like I don't want to sleep because I don't want it to end, that sort of feeling. And I remember we were in Arizona.

James:

I went outside and like I removed myself from the conversation, took the time for myself and started journaling and realized that I had so much in my brain and if I, if I focused on actually putting my time into gathering my thoughts, knowing what my thoughts are, instead of saying things like I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, and I now, at this point, I say no, I don't, I'm not the type of person that, like, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, and I now, at this point, I say no, I don't, I'm not the type of person that, like, I'm very intentional with my words and my time, so I don't say.

James:

A lot of things change my life, but journaling changed my life completely. I feel like it slowed me down and really it helped me see that I had so much negative self-talk. I had no idea, like I had no idea how bad it was honestly, like how much I was just keeping myself stuck, and so there was so much clarity, so much awareness, and then now it's become a practice that I can tell when I don't do it.

Stacy:

Yeah, yeah and I'll share. I'll share my experience as a guy. I always had this resistance to journaling because I'm like that's girls writing about their boyfriends in their diary.

Stacy:

Man, I'm not doing that shit. What are you Come on? No way, jose. But I and the other piece of it that really freaked me out was the fact that I was always afraid somebody was going to read it. I was afraid they were going to find out what I wrote down in this book. It's vulnerable.

Stacy:

There is zero question that it has such a huge impact, I know, on my, on myself when I do it, because, like you said, it collects all of our thoughts. You have to focus so much in collecting your thoughts and getting them very crystal clear to actually put it on a piece of paper, cause if it's just in your head, it's bouncing around a thousand different variations of it. But to write it down you really have to. Okay, let me get serious. What do I really think about this? What serious? What do I really think about this? What am I really feeling right now?

Stacy:

And it's so cathartic, and for if there's anybody out there listening or watching that's worried about the potential of somebody reading it, the one thing that I suggest to people is you don't have to write this stuff down in a fancy journal. I've got some fancy journals, I've got some spiral notebooks. I've gone through all kinds of variations of it over the years. But if you're you're worried about other people reading it just write the stuff down on a piece of paper and then, when you're done, wad it up, go burn it, flush it down a toilet, get rid of it, do whatever you don't have to hold onto it.

Stacy:

I've got journals that I've had for literally over 10 years now, and a couple of them I've even put little stickers in my. It's funny Cause my daughter and I were talking about this just a couple of days ago because she's just gotten into journaling a little bit and um, and she's into japanese. She's been studying japanese for a while now and how she's found the um, the freedom to write in it is she writes everything in japanese. So I have no clue what it is.

Stacy:

Her friends have no clue what it is she writes it in japanese, so nobody's gonna know what the hell it is but, um, you know, I told her, like what I've done in some of my journals.

Stacy:

I've, literally, on the very first page, I've written this is the private journal of James Dunn. If you're reading this, um, please stop right now, please throw it away, please do whatever Cause I'm assuming I'm dead at this point. If you're reading it, or whatever, um, but I put it in there like any of these thoughts were never meant for you to read. You might be offended, you might be shocked. So, just if you're going to go ahead and read this, be forewarned. You know something like that, so I know there's a possibility that at some point someday somebody is going to read those things and it is what it is, but it helps me just put that out there and, yeah, it's such an amazing practice, and so I'm so glad that you shared that with everybody.

James:

Yeah, and when I first started journaling, I wrote so quickly that I couldn't even read it Like I couldn't even read my own words, and what I realized was that my brain was literally spinning and so chaotic and it was like I just couldn't even write fast enough. Yeah, what I started to do was now, like I have two like a couple different types of journaling too, where sometimes it's just a this is how I'm feeling, and you know, we kind of go into the more like the more negative side, the more like in those low moments, and then I have really intentional journaling too. That's kind of like. I know there's this thought and I want to explore it more. Let me just focus on this part. So I think that's been cool too, even to see like what types of journaling you know there's no, even in it, which I think is really cool.

Stacy:

Yeah, and one thing I like too from my journaling is there are times that I can flip back to. You know, sometimes you'll like, right now we I guess one of the biggest challenges, as we're people who are trying to grow and evolve and always challenging ourself we always find ourselves feeling less than almost, or almost like, oh, I'm never getting there, because we're always growing. We don't see that, that growth. You don't see what we went from here up to here, you know. And so that's why we always still feel like we're not getting worse, because we're always pushing and pushing, and pushing, and pushing and pushing.

Stacy:

And so then you can go back and look okay, five years ago, 10 years ago, if you've kept these, then you can go back and look at that time Like, oh my God, I was doing that at that time. Or you can even look back and say, man, what was I thinking? Back. Then you look like, oh, that's what I was thinking. Well, no wonder I made that choice, because I did this like two weeks before that and that had happened. And, oh my God, I forgot all about that. So if you are somebody who's willing to hold onto those, that's also a beautiful. I got a friend I know, um, she's the opposite. She'll keep them for like a year, maybe two years, and then she just chucked them.

James:

She gets rid of them, like that's weird to me, but oh, interesting, yeah, I like you do you boo whatever? Works right very cathartic, I'm sure too, to release that sometimes I do feel like gosh. How many journals am I going to collect, of course, of this right, because I don't see them anywhere yeah, awesome, so okay.

Stacy:

Next question what is a book, podcast or resource that has had a major impact on your mindset?

James:

Gosh, that's another thing. So many. I am someone who has read so many books. Partway through, I think about the first book that got me into this world of even like the idea of personal development. Jen Sincero, you're a Badass.

Stacy:

Love that book.

James:

Those were really cool because I think it really met me where I was. If you would have talked to me at that point about words like journaling and alignment- and I would have been like no, that's not for me.

James:

And I love that she approached it from this really real standpoint. That kind of really just stuck with me and I remember at the time we were like flipping houses and I just remember listening while I was doing this work, you know, like literally, oh my gosh, painting and like sanding, and you know I always say that my husband's a contractor and so he can do everything. Therefore, I feel like I can do everything, and in that time I had so much, so much time where I was doing this mindless work and I could just listen.

Stacy:

Yeah.

James:

That was the book that like sticks back, sticks in my head for that time when I started into this journey, for sure, um, and then from there, I'm like gosh, there've been so many, what's been your favorite? I want to know.

Stacy:

So the one that pops up in my head um this probably had the biggest single impact on my life is breaking the habit of being yourself by dr joe dispenza. Okay, yeah, have you? Have you read that far away? Through it oh, that's that one. That one helped me just change how I see the world entirely, that's cool, okay are you? Are you listening to the audiobook or you're reading the book?

Stacy:

reading okay, cool, I was gonna say that's one, well, and that's another argument I can get. And I got a lot of shit from people on Facebook Cause I did a post not too long ago. It was like listening to an audio book is not the same as reading a book and, dude, I pissed some people off with that comment, but I'm, hey, I just that's that's my personal opinion. I love listening to audio books, but to me it's just not quite the same, just because of how I absorb materials.

James:

But that one book specifically I think it's a very different experience.

Stacy:

Yeah, and I've got. So I've got a really good friend, mentor of mine. He can listen to an audio book and just recall all kinds of stuff from it. I can't do that. I have to read the book if it's really going to be absorbed into my brain and into my being. But that one book specifically Breaking Down to being Yourself, but that one book specifically breaking down reading yourself, I believe you have to read it to get the full extent of it because there's charts and there's visuals and things inside there that if you're listening to the audiobook which I honestly have been re-listening to here this past week, um it's, you miss so much of it because you'll say c, figure 4a, you know like, well, I can't see figure 4a, so I don't know what this brain scan looks like you.

Stacy:

But yeah, just the quantum world and getting a little bit deeper into how we you know, if you want to talk about law of attraction and manifestation and all that good stuff, I don't get super woo but that I love because it balances that woo with the science. I need science, I need something factual that I can look like oh okay, I can see how this is literally physically changing things in this world when we do this. So that's, that's a book I absolutely love.

James:

For sure. Yeah, and I just thought of another one too. Um, robin Sharma. Like the wealth money can't buy. That was one that I did listen to and I loved. It felt like I agree that I don't think I could listen to a book. That's more. It feels almost like text breaking that up and being yourself. It's very wordy. I'm like, oh, I have to follow this. And the Wealth Money Can't Buy is really looking at your life from this holistic, like pulled back version and looking at all areas, like if we think about coaching and the wheel of life, it really speaks to those Like are you fulfilled in each area of your life? And I loved that because it just gave this really storytelling perspective and it's something that I could just listen to and enjoy. When I'm like reading all the books and balancing all the things, I'm like, oh, I need something that just like feels nice to my ears too.

James:

That was another really big one just recently.

Stacy:

Yeah, and a funny. Let me circle back real quick on that. Jen Sincero, you're a bad-ass book. Um, I read that book, physical copy. Read it. I loved that book. I thought it was so great it is. It's more of like a motivational book, almost more so than some of the books where you'll dive into and we'll have exercises hey, do this, do that, do that. But I, but I do love that book. And then I went to go buy it on audio or on audible, because when I read books that I love I like to get them on audible or something like that. So then I can like say just in the background, I'm not having to go down or focus on it necessarily, but just hear some of that stuff over and over again. But I listened to the audio sample.

Stacy:

I could not stand her voice couldn't do it no, I couldn't do it like oh Jen, you don't sound anything like I thought. You sounded like you're not the badass that I thought you were, but that'll ruin it.

James:

That'll ruin it for sure. I just actually got a book on audible and the only sample I could listen to was, like the the intro okay, so I listened to it. I liked the guy's voice and then when I got in there, the actual narrator of the the book was different. Oh no. I feel like it's like a cringe oh, I can't, so I that's. They tricked me on that one.

Stacy:

I've had one I was re-listening to here recently Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill.

James:

Oh yeah, I've heard of it already.

Stacy:

Okay, yeah. So obviously, if you're new to this world and you're new to personal development, napoleon Hill, he did the book Think and Grow Rich. It was like the granddaddy, it's like one, the foundational books it's. If you've never read it, oh my god, you're listening to the wrong fucking podcast. Pardon my french, but I mean you need to listen that book or read that book. Um, but yeah, and I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the audience but uh it's.

Stacy:

he also has this other book called outwitting the devil and I listened to it years ago and it had him doing the narration and it had somebody doing this really cool devil voice like had the real good sound effects and everything. And I went to re-listen to it here recently and I can't find that version anymore Some other dude that's narrating it Like. He says like this is just not it, man, and he's trying to do some. You know, I am the devil, you know, and he's trying to like. Oh it's not really working.

Stacy:

I, I'll listen to you, but you're just not not sinking in the way that yeah, no, and there's another really, and this is one book that's on the flip side of things. I'm getting off a tangent here about books, but, um, I'm not a religious guy, but there's a book out called uh, is it conversations with god? It's being conversations, um, conversations with God. And I forget the guy's name. It's Neil, something. I always want to call him Neil Patrick Harris, but I know it's not that, but it's like one of those three names. You know it's Neil, something Goddard, I think, something like that. But anyway, it's a conversation. It's called conversations with God and it gives this different perspective on God and it's a version of God that I could actually get behind. I don't believe in the whole fire and brimstone and this little dude sitting up in his chair and he's you know, but this is a very loving very caring guy.

James:

Yeah, yeah, I'm cool with that, yeah.

Stacy:

Yeah, I support that idea. I just don't like the idea of being judged by everything that we're going to do and I love you, but I'm going to send you to hell if you don't listen to me. How does that make sense?

James:

And that's what this book.

Stacy:

It kind of goes in a different direction and different version of God and dude, it is one of the best audio books I've ever heard because it had multiple people had. Ed Asner was one of the voices of God, so he's like the male voice of God and he's got a great voice for something like that. And then was it Helen Mirren I forget some you know very, very good, very well-spoken lady. She does like the female voice of God, so they kind of go back and forth. So God's not a man, god's not a woman. It kind of goes back and forth, yeah. And then even the author of the original book he does the narration from. He's like the person talking to God and he has just a really great voice. So it's like three amazing voices all kind of blending together. It's like, dude, this is good experience.

Stacy:

Yeah, I would definitely check it out. Um, just again, even if you're not religious, it's, it's a. It's an interesting take on God and might open your mind to something um a little different. Yeah, that's cool, awesome. All right, so this is our final official um of the seven unbreakable questions. What's one piece of advice that you'd give someone who feels stuck and unsure in their potential?

James:

Well, actually the antidote to anxiety, I think. If, if I really speak to that belief, you know, because I know, for me it was like this core, limiting belief that was like gosh, I just don't even know what I can do and I don't know, like on my worst days, I don't know if I believe in myself at all, like that's how it feels, and so I would also recommend some really intentional journaling. I know, for me, when I started kind of into this coaching space, it was like I had this fear that I couldn't do this and that maybe people wouldn't want to work with me. And instead of just letting that story spin, I really slowed it down a little bit and thought, well, why would someone want to work with me? Because I really care about people and I really want to help people and I've been there, so I get it, I'm relatable and like in a world where we're so fast paced and everybody's like onto the next thing, I actually listened to people and kind of all these things that I naturally did.

James:

I realized when I journaled on that specific belief, I started to not believe it as much anymore, you know, and in my head it felt very real.

James:

It felt like no one would ever hire me. How can I ever do this, you know? So I would say take action, but then also couple the action with getting clear on your belief and getting clear on what you know to be true about yourself, because what I've seen so much is that everybody especially when it comes to business, but just in general I feel like so many people are looking for the answers outside of themselves. You know, like, what do you think about this? We're looking for validation. This is speaking to that fear of judgment or the failure. What are people going to think about me? And every time I get in conversation with someone, it's like oh yeah, the answers they're right inside of you, you know. And so, whether you do that with a coach, whether you do that with someone that you really trust, or you take the time to journal and really get clear on what do you know to be true about yourself, that would be the energy that I would want someone, that I would recommend someone, get in before they take action.

Stacy:

Yeah, I love that. I love that. I think it's awesome. So we've gotten through the first. You know the official official questions, stacey, this has been great. So if people want to get more from you, want to find out more about you, connect with you where you hang out, what's the best place for them to connect with you at?

James:

Yeah, so I'm going live on Instagram Monday through Friday. It's funny I told my husband the other day cause he's like you know, he's been my biggest support, but also skeptic, and he sees all of it right.

Stacy:

So he's like hey, what are you doing?

James:

here. He's like wow, you're really committed to this. And that wasn't me last year. In years past I was kind of wavering and like where do I want to be? And so I told him no, I'm doing this every day for the whole year. He's like wow.

James:

You might get sick of me or you might love me by then, but it's on Instagram, stacey Musgrave S-T-A-C-Y, no E, and it's also Musgrave, not Musgrove. Like I get that a lot and I have a membership called your Happiest Life. So it's really for people who are trying to like step into this world of personal development. Like is this for me and you know, do I want to have this, this place, where we just all get it, we get each other, there's accountability, there's support, there's this group coaching. So it's really kind of this ease into the process, because I think back to that version of myself like I'm so happy, like happy doesn't even come close, like I feel so grateful to myself that I started this journey, and so I wanted to create this membership for anyone who's like Ooh, I'm intrigued. What is this world? You know it's awesome, yeah.

Stacy:

Awesome, love that Awesome. Well then, I'm going to wrap this up with one final question. Okay, so you, you know, you may or may not know, but the name of my podcast here is the unsure to unstoppable podcast. So, in your own world, how do you define unstoppable?

James:

unstoppable podcast. So in your own world, how do you define unstoppable? You know it's funny, because unstoppable at first. Like you would say it to me and I would deflect like oh, that's not me, right. Because I have this idea that it has to be really big and really loud and really powerful. And what I've seen over my entrepreneurial journey is like, and what I've seen over my entrepreneurial journey is like, when I have this belief and I know that I'm in alignment, I know with certainty that nothing is going to pull me off this path, and that feels like this really quiet, unstoppable certainty and that's something that I can get behind. That's something that I feel I am, because I'm like I'm just getting started at this point.

Stacy:

Yes, I love that. That is awesome, awesome. Well, stacey, thank you so much for joining me today. I love this. I thought that was great, appreciate you being on here today and, with that, everybody get out there, have an amazing fucking day, and we'll see you next time. Everybody get out there, have an amazing fucking day and we'll see you next time. If you found value in this episode, please share it with your friends. Give us a five-star rating on itunes and anywhere else that you happen to hear it. We are just trying to celebrate life, make it better for everyone, and sharing these messages with them just helps them believe in themselves, and what can be better than that?