Come Up Higher!

Have you ever reached a point where giving up seemed like the most logical thing to do?

Where your heart was so tired, your dreams so dusty, your faith so faint… that even breathing with hope felt like too much?

This episode is for the weary soul.
The one silently whispering, “God, I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.”

But before you let go — I want you to hear these three words:
Come. Up. Higher.

https://www.instagram.com/emotional_conversationswithe/

HOM, Hour of Meditation- https://www.youtube.com/live/_5KWa_UszFg?si=dKLdh8_quky2t3vH 

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:09

Hello, hello out there. Welcome, welcome back to Emotional Conversations with Big Esther. Nevertheless, of course, let the B ride out for y'all on this beautiful Friday. I be really rocking out. Like, I need y'all to know that I be really, really rocking out when I let the B ride out for y'all. Like, I'm living my best life. I'm here thinking I'm a DJ, but I mean I do mix and master all my stuff. So shout out to shout out to me. Shout out to me, period. Um, it is Friday. I'm so excited to be back. Of course, I'm your hostess with the most this. Big Esther. Never the little. Never ever the little. It can't be the little. God's good. Um, shout out to everybody, you know, first time listeners, last time listeners. Shout out to everybody that's been rocking out with me. I love you guys so much. You guys are absolutely amazing. And yeah, I really, really do this for y'all. It's Friday. I'm super excited. Listen, like I said, June, I feel like June has been a really, really long month. But people are acting like June had somewhere to go. I'm just like, I don't know about y'all, but I don't know if it's like working from home, things like that, but I feel like June, it's it's time for you to pack it all the way up. Let's get into July. I'm ready. I'm ready to get into July. But the thing is, once July ends, the summer's over. The summer's completely over. And especially if you live in Alberta. I'm in Alberta, to be specific. And yeah, we don't have long summers here. So we really, and it's been raining for a really long time. So I'm just praying that July is hot. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Okay. And August too and September. Give us just until September, Lord. That's all literally the other day, it was like raining really bad and it started healing, then it started snowing. And it was like literally snow on the ground. It melted really quickly. But listen, that's what it was giving. Okay, so anyways, like I said, welcome back, everyone. This is going to be, I just want to share, you know, we're we're halfway through the year, more than that, actually. And I find that I don't know about anybody else, but for me, when the year, I'm like at that halfway point, especially if you've been pushing really hard, you know, and just running with a vision or running with your goals, or just like really trying to get life, do life. You know what I mean? Especially here at emotional conversations where we try to come up higher, where we try to, you know, live life and show up as our best selves and be emotionally intelligent and loving and taking care of our families, taking care of ourselves, going to work, being a content creator, having a career. Maybe you just had a baby, you know, just maybe, you know, you were sick or you have a family member that's just being a caregiver, just all of that. Okay, being a savior from Zion. If you know, you know. So if you are here for the first time in this house, we will serve the Lord, okay? So I love Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ loves me. And I I want to talk to you guys really quickly and invite everyone that's listening to my church, CCCG. We're actually having an event tonight called Come and See. And basically the theme for Come and See this year is Saviors from Zion, okay? Because we all are saviors from Zion and we all need people that are gonna come in our lives and help us. And I'm sure that you guys have experienced maybe a saviors from Zion or one or two, or you want to become one. Anyways, this is gonna be the event for you. I'm inviting you. I will save you a seat, okay? You don't have to be a believer to come to this event. You don't have to be a Bible reading, tongue-speaking, proper life living. Listen, no, no, no, no, no. Come as you are, literally come as you are. So, whatever you're doing, okay, hop off of Jamal, hop off of Keisha, and y'all come together, okay? If you, if you, whatever you're doing, listen, this event is for you. God knows that you're a savior, a savior from Zion. He wants to give you the blueprint. So we're it's gonna be at my church, Cornerstone Christian Church of God, 9249 50th Street. I'm gonna save you a seat. Come. Like my favorite part of the year is when we have come and see's. I've been blessed by come and sees. God has given me visions, words, just so many things. I've really, really I love come and see. When I experience something that I love, I gotta let other people know because I want people to come up higher. Okay. I want people to become their best selves. I want people to live a peaceful life. I want people to be able to go through trials and tribulations and come out on top. I want people's mental health to be sound. You know what I mean? So anything that will preserve us in a good way so that we can lift and uplift our communities and our families and our friends and our families and our workplaces, listen, that I'm I'm all for that. So please come tonight at 7 p.m. sharp. Listen, just I will save you a seat, okay? Now let's get into the matter of things. Okay, okay, okay. So today, yeah, anyways, like I was saying, so when I feel like when it gets into like half the middle of the year or just like a little bit past that, that's when you know you start to maybe lose a little bit of momentum. That's when the devil starts to really bombard you with thoughts that you ain't nothing, you ain't never gonna be ish, you ain't ish, your family ain't ish, nothing that you do is ish. I don't know about anybody else, but he's been playing with me all year. But I find that, you know, I've been talking to a lot of people and just talking to like friends, family, and just like different people that I've been connecting with, and they're like, yo, bro, it's tough. Trump is already on our necks with, you know, whispers of war. But I was reading the Bible, and I already knew that. And just really putting and steering, like instilling fear into people's hearts. People are, you know, this whole AI thing. I love Chat GPT. I I love open A, open AI if it's used a lot like ethically. I think that AI can really push our world forward. But I know that there's gonna be some creeps and weird people are gonna come in and try to use AI from for, you know, things that are not ethical. But there's, you know, AI is a 666, the B's, the market, the B, all this stuff, I'm sure. Like if you're listening to the news, if you're watching TikTok, all that stuff, like sometimes you gotta give that stuff a break because that can really aid in abate in your mental health being deteriorating, your relationships deteriorating. I sometimes just put the phone or the devices down. I that's something that I have to do. Um like my phone, my phone, yeah, like it's a gift and a curse, but you have to really, really manage it and balance it. But yeah, I find that everybody's kind of just like, yo, we're going through it right now, mentally, emotionally, financially, like relationally. They say that this is like people right now in this generation, in this age, are the loneliest we've ever been, even though we have so many ways of connecting. I think there's a false narrative of connecting there. Like you can follow somebody on Facebook or follow someone on Instagram and think, oh, that's my friend, or you know, yeah, it's kind of smoking mirrors. So I wanted to really, anytime that you, my main objective with this podcast is to heal with words. And I think I do that the best when I get to encourage people because, you know, there's there's a saying that to whom much is given, much is expected. I've been through a lot of things. God has given me a lot of opportunities to strengthen myself one in the Lord and strengthen myself in myself, and also strengthen myself in my community, which is, you know, I love, love, love, love my church. My lord, my church has really blessed me. I uh you'll hear me a lot say my church saved my life, because first of all, we have an amazing, amazing leader, um, apostle Emanuela Davisy, big apostle E, nevertheless, of course, Pastor Bikum, which is also a pastor, his wife. Um, I have amazed, those are my spiritual parents, and I have amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing covering. But I also have worked alongside, I'm on the leadership team at church, so I've worked alongside some powerful, amazing people of God. You know, I really, when I look at my church, I really do see the faces of Christ. My church is a hospital, so when you come in, you know, pe there's some people that are on medication that might not be taking the medication. You know when that medication, medication, you know that one cousin that, you know, has to take medication for certain things but don't want to take it. No, you bump into those type of people too. And then there's some people that are taking their medication regularly. And then there's some people that are, you know, coming out. And there's it's just different parts. So anyone that says, hey, like, don't go to church, church is organized religion, blah, blah, blah, blah. Bro, everybody low-key is in a cult. It doesn't matter what it looks like. There's literally, there's a structure everywhere. There's a structure at work. You guys always talking about, oh, organized religion. You're organized religion at church. I mean, at work, okay? Church everywhere. Like it's it's it's everywhere. And I don't know. I feel like anytime you bring Jesus Christ or his name up, that's how you know he's real. People are just up in arms. Listen, me and this house, we will serve the Lord, okay? And yeah, so thank God. Thank God for that. And I and I really bless the Lord. And I I've really been trying to do this thing where I'm super grateful just to make sure that I'm I'm I'm balancing, I'm balancing the good and the bad. Because in the Bible, it says that there will be trials and tribulations, but the Lord will be with you, right? And I really want to come and talk to you guys. That's what the platform is for. It's really healing through words, through encouragement. Anytime that you're down, I want you to press play and be able to come to find a safe place where you can identify yourself, right? Through my experiences or things that I'm speaking to you about and also know that you're not alone. People like a lot of times, a lot of the emotions that I feel or things that I feel, it's just so interesting because God will let somebody come and be like, hey, like I feel this way. Did it I'm, oh my gosh, like I've been feeling this way too. Like we're not alone in our thoughts, right? I think that the world and community wants us to feel that way and the devil wants us to feel that way, but we're really not alone. If we take the time to actually listen to each other and be there for each other, I get it. The goals are great, the accolades are great. You know, we are so one thing that I realize too in this community is that we are so thirsty. We are so thirsty for validation. We are so thirsty for validation. We want to be seen. We want to be seen. We want to be recognized. And there's nothing wrong with that, you know. But I there definitely needs to be a balance. There are people out there that are super successful. I watched a Mr. Beast interview and I really like him because I love the th the philanthropy that he does in, you know, in places like my country, Ghana, where I come from, Nigeria, just a lot of places, not only African countries, like that boy really is passionate about giving back to the world, you know, on the resources that he's made. And he was talking about how hard he works. And he was, you know, discussing some of the diseases that he has and how he works to, like he works himself to the point where he is sick. And I was like, oh my gosh, like we need this kid around. He's young, you know, but he there's no balance there. We we start to, we start to, and I don't, I wasn't saying that Mr. Beast just wants recognition and stuff, but I'm just saying that we are in a society where everything is put on Facebook. Um Facebook, Instagram. Do you remember back in the day when we didn't have Facebook? We didn't have Instagram, we didn't have all these things. I'm not saying that society was better, but I think that the state of our mental health was probably better. I can jump off the ledge and at least say that. Because it's just been a crazy shift. Like, I'm not saying when you when you buy a new home or when you get married or you have a baby, you did-da da da, whatever you, you know, you don't let but I always wonder why do we do that? Like, is it to inspire people? Which is not a bad thing. Like, don't get me wrong, it's not a bad thing. It's not. Like, because I think that we need to there needs to be space for us to inspire each other, for us to call each other up higher, right? I truly believe that I keep saying come up higher, call each other higher, because that's that's the nooks, that's the nooks and cranny of like what this episode is going to be about. Because we all are gonna reach a place where we feel tired, we feel down, we need something to look to, we need to remind ourselves that it's not always gonna be dark, right? So I totally understand that part. But I just one thing that I'm realizing, and and this is something I might be projecting, who knows? I'm not sure, but I've heard other stories and I've talked to a lot of people and I love to connect with people. And, you know, people will subconsciously say to you that, you know, people are attached to accolades. I know somebody's like, if I'm not working, I don't feel like I'm doing anything. I don't feel, I don't feel useful. And that's not a that's not a bad thing, right? We should, we should want to be able to um perform, you know what I mean, in our workplaces, in our marriages, in our friendships, whatever. Even in at church. Like we have there's there's pe there's a lot of things that people have to do, and you know, it has to run. But one thing that the Lord is teaching me in this time is that just me, Esther Abiola, like I'm good. I'm enough. Like I'm a hundred percent enough. Anything that comes after that is literally icing. And it's the icing on the cake. But me, me, Esther Abiola Johnson, just being in the made in the image of God is enough. Be is more, more, more than enough. And it's just so great because God is awesome. He's the one that gives us the grace and he gives us the gifts and the skills to really help each other and put ourselves out there and become, you know, saviors from dying. But we cannot, we cannot, um, what's the word I'm looking for? We can't make these accolades and these things are the validation, the reason why we breathe. Because some like life changes. Listen, Obama, he was a president for he's not the president anymore. Imagine if this man's walking like, I'm not the president anymore, and it's Trump. Yeah, man. Like, one thing you can learn about him and also read Obama's biography because it's actually amazing. Well, he is cool as a fan. Like, I think he really was the best to be the president because I really feel like he wholeheartedly loves who he is and what he's done and what he's put out there. But I don't think that being the president is his identity. I don't think that, you know what I mean? From the books that I've read, the interviews that I've watched of him, like it's one thing to do that, but I know people that are thirsty, foaming at the mouth, cannot be okay if they are not recognized, if they are not used, if they are not called to the front. Like it's a thing that I think that we need to purge ourselves of because I feel like I don't know about anybody else. Okay, this could just be me. I do my best work in the dark. I find that when like the Lord is pruning me and it's it's it's I do my I do my best work. Like I really do feel that way. And I and I was listening to a podcast, or it might have been my apostle, I'm not sure, but he was preaching and he was saying that like it's the little things. It's the little, little things. Like when when you know that you're asking the Lord to really like help your character and build your character, like that is so important. I know that it, I know, baby. I know. Trust me. Listen, everybody that's listening, I understand. Like, I know having material things, having money, having a name, that matters because we need resources to help each other. We need resources to bust through the door. We need resources to change policies that are not correct. We need power, we need influence, we need resources. I'm not saying that that none of that is needed, but I the reason why, like power corrupts. You need a good character. People can say whatever they want about the Ukrainian president, but his people believe in him. He has been with those people, he's stuck by them. He is going everywhere, every country, every state, and looking for resources to rebuild his country. Like that is, I don't know much about him. I don't know if he's a believer, whatever it is, but you can tell his he has a passion for the people. That's that's evident, that's clear, right? I'm sure, like, come on, like he could have he could be living somewhere on an island rich forever. But I think he really cares about the people that he's leading. And I think that we need more passionate people, more caring people, people that are passionate about the preservation of human life. There is no discretion for human life anymore, I feel like. It's like, oh yeah, this person died. Okay, cool, we're moving on. Did you, did you, did you get those hundred thousand likes? Did you buy my ebook? Did you like, you know what I mean? Which is, I'm saying, listen, like I have a podcast. Of course, I want this podcast to get everywhere in the world. I want to be a household name. Don't get me wrong. But my main objective of making money and being a resource is so I can pull other people up. If there's another girl out there, another young boy, another young girl, another middle-aged woman, whatever that wanna that wants to podcast, that wants to get into the broadcasting space, whatever. I want to be able to provide resources. Let me tell you something, because I'm a, I'm a be, I listen. When I started this pod, when I started this podcast years ago and the Lord called me to do it, I had to learn and get the equipment, do all that stuff on my own, which was fine. There wasn't really a lot of people podcasting. And then fast forward to now, a lot of people are podcasting. There's so much stuff. Like you might look at my podcast and be like, sis, you're still audio. Like everybody around you is visual or everybody like is visual. You're so odd. Yeah, because this is what the Lord has called me to do. And two, I'm still learning to find the passion in this work. I I have to, because I want it to be genuine. I don't want to speak to people and say the same things that other people are saying. Like, I want every word that I speak to be of the Spirit of God. I want every word that I speak to be filled with grace for you to move. I don't want you guys to just be listeners, but doers of the word, like doers of doers. You know what I mean? I want you guys to listen to this, be empowered, generate the grace to go out there and become your best self. Because we we are all we have. I don't know if anybody knows that, but we are all we have. That is so human beings. Like I love, I I'm so fascinated with the way we think, the way we act in relationships. I love emotional intelligence. Like I I I love people watching. I like to do, I told you guys, I like to do, you know, experience, experiments, you know, social experiments. Like that's my thing. I just I love people. I really, really do. And it's really, really hard when you're like a people person and society is not really a people person. Like everybody is for themselves. And I think that in order to be successful, you do need to have a little bit of that. You know, in the Bible, it says that I guess you should be shrewd or whatever. Like that, I don't understand all of it, but I don't think you need to be wicked to succeed. I really don't think that. I think that you might have to be in a place where you're, you're, you're more intentional, you're more um aware of what you need to do. And there's certain things or relationships or whatever, things that you can't do in those seasons in order to get to where you want to get to so you can pull up other people. I I understand that. I get that, right? But I don't know. That's just not like, and and I've listened I I deal with this a lot and I I keep asking the Lord to just help me. Like, help me, Lord, because I don't want to be, I don't want my my my I don't want to be validated by other human beings because listen, people p they'll build you up to kick you off. This is human nature, that's just how it goes. Like, you know what I mean? I want to be a person. Like, I don't, like I always say, like, God, like, I want the resources so I can help other people so people don't have to go through what I went through. So people can have a clear shot at life or an a shot at life. That's that's that's really, really like what I'm super passionate about. People love, okay, how to become our best selves. So yeah, but I mean I just yeah, I wanted to come in and really talk about that. I also want to talk about like yeah, just going back to what I was talking about when it comes to like the middle of the year, and now you're like just kind of like it's giving, like, okay, God, like I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I don't know how much like everything that you said to me, all my goals, my vision, everything things just seems to be slow. Everything seems to not be going right. And now you have Instagram that looks at people, you know, shows you people's lives and their wins and it makes you feel like you're so behind. I always tell you guys, like, you need to know how to use the internet. You need to make the internet and social media work for you. Don't work for social media. Let it work for you. Let your money work for you. And what do you need? Wisdom. You need wisdom, wisdom from above, divine wisdom from Jesus Christ. Not crystals. Y'all ain't gonna get this wisdom from no crystals, y'all. I'm telling y'all, I listen. Y'all can say whatever you want. I'm gonna stand on business, but mine. Y'all ain't gonna get any real divine wisdom from crystals, not them ting that. Ask the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a friend and he's a comforter. Okay. So if you're out there, like this episode really, really, really is for, you know, when your heart is tired, when your dreams are dusty, and you're like, God, I don't see it. When your faith is super faint, guys, when you feel like just breathing, you're breathing your last hope. Like it's too much. This episode's for you. It's for the it's for the soul that is giving weary. Okay. And you're just silently whispering, like, God, help, help me, Lord, help me, help me, Lord, help. That's me every day. Okay, this episode is for you. I hope you can press play and really be encouraged. I pray that you can, you know, that this touches whoever, even if it's one person and it can never be one person, but I pray that you, you know what I mean? I just want these three words for you to continue to remember these three words every time you want to give up. Like every time that you want to give up, I want you to come up higher. Come up higher. Like that is where the work is. Let me tell you guys something. Like working outside of your feelings and your emotions and how you feel, like that's where the work is. Okay. Literally, let's be honest. Like going on a journey and you're trying to fulfill a purpose, like my last episode, I was talking about being the first generational cycle breaker, it's not always glamorous. It's really not. Like I know that, you know, the people, those people have morning routines that stick their face in water to do all that stuff. They've done everything in the world by 7:30 a.m. That's that's not reality. We all have different paths. And sometimes the path is full of rejection, like, oh God, rejection, rejection letters, unreturned calls, empty bank accounts. Can we say empty bank accounts? You know what I mean? Failing relationships, failing businesses. Sometimes you got to start again. So you're pouring into other people, ain't nobody pouring into you. You're looking for help. Ain't nobody want to help you. Everybody's busy. Like that, that's what the journey looks like. Doors slamming in your face consistently. But you always have to tell yourself, I've been telling, I'm like, Esther, no, you gotta come up higher. Esther, no, you gotta come up higher. That's where the work is. You gotta come up higher. Like, and you and and trust me, you are not following vision. You are not chasing vision if you don't ask yourself, is it worth it? Is it I was telling my friend the other day, I'm like, listen, like all this podcasting, all these things, like whatever, whatever. Like you can start, like I'm a shapely woman. I got hips for days. My hips don't lie, baby. I'm blessed. The Lord blessed me, okay? He blessed me. I could open OliFans. You see these girls out here talking about OlyFans, seven millions, and you have to, you have to know your why. And I'm like, that's that that's not, I don't want to get the money that way. That's not my bag. That's not who I am. I'm not in the place of I'm I'm just it's just not me. And if you're doing that, shout out to you. That ain't none of my business. That's between you and Jesus Christ. And whatever it is that you want to do, I'm not shaming nobody, but there's things that we can do. We we have fast mess, fast methods of getting to where we want to get to, right? But you have to be true. You have to be faithful and true to who you are, right? And for me, that's just not my path. And sometimes I be looking at people that just started podcasting or, and I I'm gonna always be 100% because no one can who's gonna check me, boo? Oh wait, who gonna check me besides Jesus Christ in my authority? Who gonna check me? I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell it how it is. Like I be looking at people, oh my God, like I've been podcasting for almost five years. I see people podcasting, they're doing their thing. And the Lord said, mind your business. Tend to your tend to your field. I said, Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Tend to your field. Mind the business that pays you, honey. Rejoice with those who are rejoicing. Listen, let's really, really talk about it. This year I've been jealous a little bit. I've been jealous. I'm gonna listen, I have been jealous. Like, listen, God, like, what's up? What about me? What about me and my house? What about me and my siblings? What are you gonna do for me? I'm gonna be honest. I am not a liar. If you've never felt that way, shout out to you, mama. Thank you. Okay, you're amazing. But for me, I know that I've dealt with the seed of rejection. I've dealt with being overlooked. I've dealt with um just, yeah, just really feeling that way. And I had to take how I felt to Christ. I had to do the real work. And it's not easy. Like, there's been so many times I'm like, I just don't want to show up. I don't feel right. I don't want to do this. I don't want to go to church. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to talk to anyone. And the Holy Spirit has literally, literally, and when I say literally, sometimes I feel like I hear it audibly. He's challenged me to go beyond how I feel, beyond the intrusive thoughts. And that's where the work is. And I, and another thing too, the devil will lie too, and people lie to you, like, oh, showing up your best self is always having a smile. No, sometimes like you're gonna show up and you're like, you know what, I don't wanna be here, but I'm here. Always try to do your best work, don't get me wrong, and take breaks because we need those, right? But always go past your emotions and how you feel and intrusive thoughts. When you, it's a muscle. When you keep doing it, when you keep doing it, I promise you you will find better methods on how to navigate those spaces, right? Like there's there's things that I do when I feel like I'm about to crash out. I like there's things that I've learned from my therapy sessions, things that I've learned from mentorship classes, things that I've taken from the Bible that have helped me. When I feel like I'm gonna, I'm really angry or I feel violated. I really do this thing now where I let five seconds pass by before I open my mouth. Because listen, this mouth will be used for love. This mouth will be used for healing, not tearing people apart. Okay. And that includes our minds too. I had to, because I was before I was like, well, I ain't say nothing, but I was cussing folks out in my head. And the Holy Spirit's like, says, come up higher over here too. Can I get it A bet? I'm telling you guys, like, it's it's it's it's really, really, it's important. It's important. And I think if you guys are wondering, like, what does come up higher mean? Right? Is it just a phrase? Like, what are you talking about? Is this like a sermon? I feel like you're preaching to us. Like, no. Like, we need like higher in our perspective, higher in our thinking, higher in our authority, higher in the way that we love. I know right now you're probably like, oh my gosh, I'm giving it all. Just push a little bit more, just a little bit more. Go out of your way a little bit more for someone. Go, you know, go out of your way for yourself a little bit more. Give yourself flowers. Take care of yourself. You know, people are like, oh, we're giving you your flowers, giving your flowers. No, look in the mirror and give yourself flowers. I had to do that the other day. I was like, you know what, Esther? Big E, never the ever, ever the little. No matter how anybody treats me, no matter how anybody perceives me, big E, never the little for the people in the back. Can you hear me? It's big, big E. Period. I'm a I'm a daughter of Christ. I belong to Jesus Christ. My spiritual authority is Apostle Emmanuel Adeus. You don't play with me. Period. Yeah, I'm gonna pop my ish because people want to play. People want to play. And you know what's really interesting? I have the, I have the I have the spirit of discernment. Like I know how people think of me. Even people that love me. I know what people think of me. I know people know my age. I know there's a lot of things, and I'm not projecting because a lot of times people project their nonsense of how they feel about me onto me because maybe my life hasn't materialized the way that they think it should it should. Or, you know, I'm 38 and I'm not married. I don't have any kids, by the way. I don't want children. If the Lord wants to give me children, then I'll have children. I have nieces and nephews and people that I really love. If if my husband wants me a child, I'm gonna produce a child. But I'm not out here like, oh my God, my eggs are about to dry up. Nah, that's just not me. And if you want a child, any woman that's listening that wants a child, may the Lord bless your womb. I love that for you guys. Every time I see my friends with kids, I'm like, shout out to y'all. And and you know, don't let anyone like this ageism thing is so ridiculous. It's so dusty, it's so bottom of the barrel. Who gives a damn about people's age? Let people live their lives, let people be happy. Stop tormenting people, you tormenting spirits, leave people alone to live their life. Be a good person for one, Jake. I don't know who Jake is, but whatever. If you're Jake, I love y'all. But be a good person, treat people good. Life is already so hard. One thing that I'm very intentional about and very mindful of, I try to, when I leave people, I want to leave them like, okay, that that was a really good interaction. I that was, you know, Esther made me feel I care about that kind of stuff. I try to peep treat people with a lot of love and intentionality. Like I really like to love on my friends and nurture the people that I'm around and even my enemies. I've been praying for my enemies, enemies. Y'all hear me out there. I've been praying for y'all. I've been praying for y'all because I'm heaping hot coals on your head. People that try to play me. Like, and people love to make smart, like snarky remarks to me because I think people think like I'm a like a jooka, you know? Because, you know, I'm okay with the skin that I'm in. I'm a very funny gal. I think I'm hilarious. I can get serious and do what I gotta do what it got to do, but I have a very youthful spirit. I'm very funny. So I can get along with younger kids. I have a lot of younger people that are like my little sisters. I have older people that I'm cool with, I have middle-age, like I can really get down with everyone. And I think that sometimes, let me just, if you're listening, hello, is this thing on? Is it on? Yeah. Y'all stop playing with me. Respect yourselves before you interact with me, because I respect myself. Respect yourself before you interact with me. It's a must because if if not, there won't be any interaction. And I need you guys to understand that. Respect yourself before you interact with me. I don't know what you think this is. I I really do not know. I I'm not sure, but I'm chosen, I'm called, and there's a vision on my life. There's prophecy over me. There is prophecy over me. You might not see it, but there's prophecy over me. And I'm not gonna let anybody come play with me. And and I hope that's your song too. Don't let no one play with you. And you know another thing that I was listening this is another thing too, okay? Take care of yourself. Because if you don't take care of yourself, if you don't mind your own garden, if you don't mend your own heart, if you don't take care of your health, your wealth, your your mental, your physical, if you don't take care of those things, you will become the biggest hater. Hi hater, bye hater, you see me, you will become a big hater. And you don't want to be, nobody wants to be a hater, bro. Nobody wants to be around you either. So take care of yourself that you don't gotta hate on other people and try to kill and crush other people's dreams. Let people live their best life. Enemies of progress, enemies of progress, enemies of progress. E peace. Leave people alone. And let me say something. Because I'm gonna say what it says. A lot of times, people are like people deal a lot with imposter syndrome. Okay, so people that usually are doing the most, people, and this is not for everyone. I'm not generalizing this, but I've I've I've experienced this a lot. Usually people that are doing the most are everywhere, they're being used, and like a lot of like those types of people, sometimes if they're not careful, they they can be the most insecure and they can project the insecurities on uh into other people because their whole life is just their gifts. All they know is to be used for their gifts. And a lot of times that comes from insecurity, like you know, attachment styles where they grew up, where they feel like they had to always perform, perform, perform, right? Like if you're trying to get the help for that, then shout out to you. But the ones that are not and want to go around and try to make people feel small and treat people bad and all in the name of perfectionism, all in the name of excellence, like we see you. We see you guys, and we're praying for you. We really are. Like we're praying for you. Well, like this happens so much at work, trying to, you know, trying to make people feel small at work, trying to make people feel small in your family, you know, maybe that person that didn't finish school, or da da-da-da. You guys want to, you know, make people feel small and but they have a light that they're shining. Eve this happens even at church. Can we talk about it? This happens at church too. You, you know, there might be that those people that are always being used or always doing something. I'm not saying that they're bad. I'm not, I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that don't treat people in a certain way because you feel like, because you want to project your insecurities. You understand what I'm saying? Like, let's be kind to each other. Let's, let's, let's, let's, let's be kind to each other. That's very, very important. So, yeah, like I really, really want us to come, you know, come up higher in our thinking and our authority and our perspectives, um, I and the way that we live our lives, right? We have to really, really, we have to look at what we're looking at. We have to also really be intentional about what we're saying. Ah, ah, God, I wish I could. Ooh, what we're saying and what we believe. Those two things are so important. If you're in the middle mark of the year, or, you know, maybe there's some goals that you haven't even touched, some goals that you haven't even achieved, um, you know, things that you haven't said, places that you haven't been, all everything. Your Pinterest board, everything, like it life is just not, it's not giving that. It's giving doom and gloom. And that's what it kind of feels like. You have to be intentional. You have to use your words. I know people affirmations because they've made affirmations, all this weird buzzword stuff, whatever. Affirmations are real. The way that you think, I always tell you guys, it's neuroscience. You need to program your mind. Like I say things like I have authority over my emotions. My emotions don't run me. I don't always get it right. Don't get me wrong. But I try to be more intentional. I'm like, no, no, no, you don't run me. I don't hate this person. I love this person. I'm not upset today. I'm very happy. I don't care what happened to me today. I'm blessed and I'm highly favored. I'm a child of the most high God. I am wealthy. I'm successful now in the state that I am in. I'm worth it. I'm enough. I am enough. Forget about my accolades. Forget about me being able to communicate properly and be emotionally intelligent and be able to speak well. I am enough, even if I didn't have those things. I'm loved, I'm cared for, I'm called, I'm chosen. Like that stuff really, really matters. You have to be intentional about your words for yourself, the way you think, because that's an internal thing, and we already know how that goes. And you also have to know, be intentional about how you speak to people and how you think about people. I remember I used to always have this issue where there were certain people that I just felt like always had this weird attitude towards me. That's because I had a weird attitude towards them in my mind. The way we think about people, it's an energy. It's an energy. That stuff is real. The way that we think about people, I know the way people think about me because I have the spirit of discernment and that you can tell. You can't hide that stuff. That stuff is literally spiritual stuff. I believe in the spiritual. And everything is spiritual. So the way, even the way you think about people. Like I always do this thing. Like people, I always say this thing, clean energy. I like to be around people that have clean energy. Their energy is not dark, their energy is not weird. I don't like weird folks either. Their energy is like not shaky, like they have clean energy. We're not always gonna listen. We're always gonna show up in the world sometimes. We have our days. We have, I get that. That's normal behavior for a human being. But those people that always have that weird energy, always that dark and gloomy negativity. I am so no. No. Like I'm not, I don't want to be around that. I think one thing that we need to, another thing that we need to do too is acknowledge the pain and acknowledge the disappointment and the sorrow and the discontentment that we're in. We need to acknowledge that. I know I was in a place where I kept saying, like, I was really going through a lot and I was like, no, no, like be strong, Esther. Be strong. Like, don't think about this, don't be negative. I'm not like, listen, but you have to acknowledge it too. And I think that one of the things that I do is I have this platform that really helps me speak my soul. Like it really, and you know who I love? If you have never read the Bible before, please read the Bible. The Bible is awesome. It's a great, amazing spiritual book, but you can just read it. Like it has amazing stories. You can draw principles from it. But I love David because David always used to acknowledge the pain. He used to always go back to God and be like, God, crush my enemies. Crush them for me, scatter them, kill them, obliviate them. Yeah, that's how I feel right now. I'm upset, I'm mad, I feel rejected, kill them. I'd be talking to the Holy Spirit like that, like, God, get rid of my enemies. Clear them up now. Cleanup shop, Lord. Cleanup shop. Before I used to be like, oh, God, it's okay. I pray for my enemies now because I obviously I'm in a new place. And even sometimes I'm like, you know what, God, listen, they're doing a lot. They're doing a lot. And you see how they're playing with me. But David used to go and bear his soul to God. Like I'd be bearing my soul. I journal. I journal. I speak to myself. I talk to myself a lot. And I had to change the way that I talk to myself from very dark and gloomy and kicking my back in all the time. But I'll have conversations with myself. I have a lot of conversations with the Holy Spirit, mentors, spiritual parents, people that I love, people that I trust. Like I talk a lot with my sister. We talk out of a lot of things. And the funny thing is, like our relationship, we're trying to put it back together. We're trying to work it out. But it takes a lot of communication and uncomfortable conversations. And we fought. And we, if you know anything about me, mascot, we fought. We get back together. We love each other. Like it's, it's, it's, it's real though. And I respect that and I appreciate that. And we have, before we didn't acknowledge the pain that there was, but we are acknowledging, hey, there's pain here, there's trauma here. We, we, you know, like I find that sometimes we fake the strength that we fake the strength. We fake the strength when you know you're really, you know, the Lord said this was gonna happen. You know, there's this prophecy and you're disappointed now and you don't know how to say it. But cry if you have to. Mourn if mourn missed opportunities, mourn mistakes that you've made, grieve them, grieve those relationships that didn't work that have to go. Grieve the relationships that left you behind, the broken heart. Like you have to acknowledge it. It's not gonna go anywhere. Work your way through that death, work your way through that lost. You have to do that. That's so important. Like literally, but I'm not saying stay there though. Your feelings are valid. We have feelings for a reason. Feelings and emotions that give our life color. It brings everything, it brings color to everything. If we didn't have them, we'd be robots. But command yourself to come up higher, command your soul to come up higher. And another thing too, we need to detach from the lies. One of the biggest, biggest lies that the enemy has tried to use on me is that I'm behind. I'm behind in life. I'm behind, I'm behind, I'm behind. Those were the intrusive thoughts for a very long time. I'm behind, I'm a burden, I'm too grown to live out my dreams. Um, I'm not enough. You know, that I'm not loved, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not loved, I'm not called. And I had to speak back to those those thoughts. My apostle used to always say that. He used to always like speak back, speak back to those thoughts. And I was like, I don't got time for this. This is a lot. Now I do. I'm not behind. I'm right on time for my journey. Any mistakes that I make, I'm forgiven and I keep it moving. Any missed opportunities, I mourn them and I keep it moving, and I ask myself, how can I do better? How can I show up in a better way? Nobody sees me. The Lord sees me. The Lord has never taken his eyes off me. And he will send the right people to see you and me. I'm not enough. I'm equipped for everything. I'm equipped for this life. I'm equipped for the climb. I'm equipped for this vision because I'm made in the image of God. And that's just that. So please, like detach from the lies that you're not enough, that you can't be in certain rooms, that you can't look a certain way, you can't talk a certain way, you can't look this way and be successful. I'm me. I'm me. I'm a little rough around the edges. That's okay. I'm not for everyone. I'm a hot shot of espresso. I it is what it is. If you love me, you love me. If you don't, you don't. And I'm okay with that, baby. I'm always gonna be me, though. I'm always going to be me. I'm always going to be me. I need y'all to listen. I'm always going to be me. I'm intense. I'm a lover. I'm emotional. I am smart. I am witty. I am beautiful. You're gonna get all of that. I'm a nurturer, I care for people. Like I'm not perfect, you know what I mean? I have things that I'm working on, but I'm always learning. The Lord is really giving me the boldness to just be me in every single room that I'm in. So please, guys, detach from the lie, speak back. When you hear those intrusive thoughts, speak back. Just work on it. You're not always gonna get it, but little by little, by little by little, you have to have the drive to want to live, to want to live out your dreams. It's not easy. You need a good community for that. You do. And if you're any, if you're listening and you're like, I'm alone, Esther, like I don't have anyone, I don't have a new family. Let me tell you something. I don't have a nuclear family like that. Like my mom and dad are not, like my bio mom and dad are not together. It's me and my siblings. We're trying to work this thing out. So I thank the Lord that I have my siblings and we can lean on each other. But if you feel like you're completely alone, you've lost your parents, you've lost family members, or you're not alone. God sees you, he's guiding you. And if you don't, you're like, well, I don't believe in God. Maybe you should. Maybe, maybe you should. Try him out. Try God. He'll never listen, the Lord will never forsake you nor leave you. He makes it rain on the good and the bad. He's a just God. He's faithful and he's true. He's faithful and he's true. So I think, you know, some of the things that you can really like practical ways of really just coming up higher is, you know, you know, evaluate your environment. Know who you're surrounded by. Know the voices that you're healing. I mean, that you're hearing. Sorry. Know the voices that you're hearing. You know what I mean? Like pull pull yourself out of fear. Like when do things scared. I know people do listen, I'm an announcer at church and I still get like a little bit, I have to be like, Holy Spirit, help me. Like, you know what I mean? Do things when even if you're fearful, just do them. Don't let fear stop you from anything that you want to do. Be bold. I know it's like, oh, be bold. How am I supposed to be bold? Just try things. People are here trying all sorts. Of things. Listen, there's a book out, I think, but it's uh who is it by? Give me a second. Let me find it. It's called Failing Forward. And I think it's by um John Maxwell. And it's called Failing Forward. Please, like fail. You have to fail. Failing, like people are gonna laugh. Okay, let them laugh. Laugh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I've had people laugh at me many times. I have people come from my podcast. I have people come from my life. I've come, I've yo, bro. And I'm not gonna lie, it hurt in that moment. But I I yo, I you have to push past it because you have a destiny and there's a prophecy over you. There's a prophecy over me. I cannot give up. I don't know how it goes, but it's like a really good Nigerian song. But there's a prophecy over me. I would have given up dating a long time ago because one day I'm gonna sit down and tell y'all my real dating story and it's crazy. And I feel like everything that I learned from dating the wrong people like has made me the person that I am. I thank the Lord that I didn't stop loving. I thank the Lord that I it didn't change me to become cold and bitter. I can still love the way I love with boundaries now. So y'all don't come up here and try to and try to play with me. Because I have boundaries and I have the Holy Ghost and the God don't play about me. So yeah, but I I thank the Lord that it shaped me to be who I am today. A lot of broken hearts, a lot of disappointment, a lot of discouragement, a lot of just being taken, taken from as I give, because I just freely give, right? But I have boundaries now, right? Life should we should learn as we go. That's why it's good to fail. Because you're if you're waiting for God to do something for you, if you're waiting for the Lord to burst you forth, if you're waiting for that vision to burst forth, like this preparation, because listen, one day in God's side is it's like that. Okay, you'll it feels like a thousand years, but to God, it's quick. You have to be ready. If we're waiting, I'm waiting for resources. I'm like, God, I still need help with my resources. How can I save? How can I not waste? How can I know which where to plant seeds of prosperity? Those are all things we need to do our part. We need to do our work, but prepare yourself for the blessing. Prepare yourself for what you're praying for. You want to be a wife, you want to be a wife, you want to be a husband, but y'all, you don't got no character. You are petty, you are anxious, you are petty, you don't know how to communicate, you run away from all your issues, you are an avoidance, but you want to be married? What are you talking about? If you're like, if you're doing the work, because you're not gonna get married and do all this stuff, like but perfect. No, but you have to be actively doing the work and wanting to do the work. And people be running, they'd be saying that they're on that. Listen, I've come across a lot of people like I'm doing the work, let one let us fall out. Let one thing happen, they're gone. I was like, oh, okay. And that's okay, that's all right. That's all right. You know, so it really, really like evaluate what you're around and what you're consuming, whether that's food, whether that's spiritually, whether that's with your eyes, your ears, whatever. Right? Return to your vision, return to your passion, return to your goals. Believe. Ask yourself, like, what did I see? When did I believe this? And breathe new life into your vision because that's really real. Take small steps. Take small steps for it. I know that people don't want to hear that. You people just want to become Mark Zuckerberg overnight. People just want to become whoever their fave their favorite influencer overnight. Take small steps. Consistency is the key. Consistency is the key. I'm a podcaster. I'm in broadcasting too. And, you know, people, hey, say what you like about Joe Budden, but his podcast is 10 years strong, a decade strong, 10 years and counting. I think he has over 900 episodes. He went from audio to vi to YouTube to visual, three-hour podcast, a full staff. What are we talking about? Joe Budden is a pod father. What are we talking about? And he he really became he came into success after coming, overcoming a drug addiction. We know he's had stuff from his past, whatever you can, we all have a past. But 10 years in doing the same thing day in and day out, you know, coming up with two people, Rory Your Maul, that fell apart. He yo, he one thing about him, if you know his story, like he bounced back, he stands on business. Consistency is the key. You might have a podcast is is visual, I mean audio right now, right? And the Lord keeps telling me, baby girl, I don't know where you want to go. Consistency, consistency, consistency in your friendship, consistency, working out, being healthy in your eating, in your thinking, consistency in your relationships, consistency in managing your finances, consistency in managing your self-worth and who you are, and taking yourself out of situations that just don't are not for you, that are not conducive for your growth and your health, consistency in the things of the Lord, consistency in spiritual growth. We need consistency. That is the key. You don't listen, you don't have to buy any online I don't know what they're selling these days, but whatever. I'm telling you, if you have a vision, if you have a dream, consistency is key. It doesn't like it's key. When people see that you consistently are showing up, trust me, there's gonna be the the errors, there's gonna be the haters like, oh, you should just let this go. Now listen, if you know that you're doing something that you're not called to, something that you just like, but you're not really called to it, that's not what the Lord told you to do, then let's let's let's dial back to consistency and reroute and go back to, you know, figure it out. Let's let's ask the Lord for some guidance, some wisdom here. But if you know that this is what you're called to, this is what you're passionate about, this is how you're going to help a slice of the world, consistency. That's very, very important. And consistency is literally coming up higher. Coming up higher, choosing to be better in all moments, choosing to just be show up as our best selves. That's very, very important. And taking small steps, I'm telling you, small droplets of rain can break a rock. It can break a rock. So being consistent, you will burst forth. Like the vision will come to fruition. Whatever it is that you are, whatever it is that you are, you are um, you're you're rush, you're rushing after, you're chasing after. Listen, yes, the valley is going to be deep. Yes, you're gonna be weary, you're human, but your vision is calling, the mountain is calling, like it's calling. You're chosen, you're called, and you're made to come up higher always. And I just want to say this like, I know I always talk about like my beliefs in God, and I think I could never do this without Jesus and the Holy Spirit because he is the one that the Holy Spirit literally will be like, get up, go do this. You know you like he's my helper, he's my comforter. And if you don't know who Jesus Christ is, like, find a Bible-believing church, literally, find a Bible-believing church and really, really give God a chance. Because I'm telling you, I don't know anybody that's tried Jesus and has failed them. Listen, people, people, God's people can fail you, but God will not fail you. God's people can fail you, but God will never fail you. Ever. I just want to really round this up. Thank y'all so much for coming to my TED Talk, but I want to, I want to round this up. Please, I know we're in the middle. I know you feel bombarded. I know those intrusive thoughts are getting louder. I know you feel like God, when is anybody gonna start watching my YouTube? When is anybody gonna start calling me to speak at places? When am I gonna be seen? When am I why when are my gifts are gonna when are my gifts gonna affect people and help people and mentor people and disciple people? Lift your head up, wipe your tears, square up your shoulders, take a shower, brush your teeth. Answer that call. Check your emails. Prepare yourself for the blessing. Come up higher in your relationships, in your character, in your health, wealth, prosperity, in your emotions. Come up higher in your workplace, do more, go above and beyond. You're worth it. You're enough. You're seen, you're called. You don't have to bring anything to the table. I was like, what do you what do I bring to the table? What do I bring to I'm I bring myself? I'm enough. I'm enough. You are enough. I hope that really blessed y'all. I really, really hope that blessed y'all. Like, I love y'all. Any team I like listen, this I'm talking to myself all the time because I've been going through it too. Listen, I've been going through it too. But I have to tell myself, like, I can't give up now. There's people that I have to touch, there's people that I have to pay for their school, their school fees, there's people that I have to, I'm gonna help build my church. There's people, there's generations. I have to break the poverty off my generation. My lineage has to come up, my lineage has to have access to everything that the Lord died for. I love y'all so much. I hope you guys have an amazing weekend. If you're looking for a Bible-believing church, like I said, Cornerstone Christian Church of God, Emmitton, period. Big cornerstone, nevertheless. I love y'all so much. Check out my Instagram, speaking underscore arrangements, follow, like, ship, share, subscribe. Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone that sends my podcast, I'll repost it. I really, really genuinely need that help. So please repost my podcast, send it to people. It takes nothing for you to interact with my my work, the content. I love you guys so much, and like I always say, y'all stay true.