Run Your Life Show With Andy Vasily
Run Your Life Show With Andy Vasily
#176 - The Mindset of a Champion With Anthony Calvillo
As a child, Anthony Calvillo absorbed himself in sport. Whether it be baseball, basketball, track and field or football, sport provided Anthony with an escape from a troubling home environment that was plagued by domestic violence and alcoholism.
He grew up in a tough neighborhood about 20-minutes from central Los Angeles and knew that choosing sport over a life of street gang crime was his only way out.
The natural gifts and abilities that Anthony possessed allowed him to thrive in sport, giving him the confidence needed to think bigger and have a dream of playing football at the college level. Through the support of important mentors in his life, Anthony knew that playing elite level sport was a way that he could have a better life.
The path he took led him to be the starting quarterback at Utah State. It was here at Utah State, where Anthony was mentored by his quarterback coach, Jim Zorn, the well-known left-handed QB who led the Seattle Seahawk offense for 8 seasons in the NFL. The outstanding success he had at Utah State led directly to a career in the CFL. Little did Anthony know it at the time but he would go on to play 20 seasons in the Canadian football League to become the league’s all-time leader in passing yardage at 79,816 yards, all-time leader in touchdowns thrown with 455 TD passes, He won Grey Cup championship 3 times and was voted the CFL’s most outstanding player 3 times which ties him for second behind Doug Flutie.
As you listen to this episode, you will hear firsthand from Anthony, the way he approached the game and the physical and mental preparation he committed himself to throughout his career to improve and get better each season. Anthony admits that at certain points in his career, he had to hold the mirror up to himself in order to identify exactly what he needed to focus on to continue to show up and be the best version of himself possible to help guide and lead the Montreal Alouettes to greatness in the CFL.
What defines Anthony the most in my opinion is not the records he holds, his Grey Cup wins, or his MVP awards, but more so his resilient spirit and his ability to overcome hardship and adversity in his life to carve out his own path of greatness. What we don’t talk about in this episode is the struggles that both he and his wife battled in overcoming cancer. This experience helped Anthony and his family to recognize what is most important in life- love, connection, and living with authenticity and purpose. The work that Anthony has done raising awareness about domestic violence is hugely important and he’s using his voice and platform to shed light on this issue in order to make a difference.
It’s rare that we can get such a glimpse into the mindset of a champion. So many lessons shared in this episode. I hope you enjoy it.
Connect With Anthony
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anthonycalvillo13/?hl=en
Twitter: https://twitter.com/acalvillo13?lang=en
On the show today, legendary Montreal Alouettes Hall of Fame quarterback Anthony Calvio here to talk about the ups, the downs, and the mental and physical preparation needed to play at his best for 20 seasons in the Canadian Football League. As a child, Anthony Calvio absorbed himself in sport. Whether it be baseball, basketball, track and field, or football, sport provided Anthony with an escape from a troubling home environment that was plagued by domestic violence and alcoholism. He grew up in a tough neighborhood about 20 minutes from central Los Angeles and knew that choosing sport over a life of street gang crime was his only way out. The natural gifts and abilities that Anthony possessed allowed him to thrive in sport, giving him the confidence needed to think bigger and have a dream of playing football at the college level. Through the support of important mentors in his life, Anthony knew that playing elite-level sport was a way that he could have a better life. The path he took led him to be the starting quarterback at Utah State, and it was here at Utah State where Anthony was mentored by his quarterback coach Jim Zorn, the well-known left-handed quarterback who led the Seattle Seahawks offense for eight seasons in the NFL. Little did Anthony know it at the time, but he would go on to play 20 seasons in the Canadian Football League to become the league's all-time leader in passing yardage at 79,816 yards. The all-time leader in touchdowns thrown with 455 touchdown passes. He won the Grey Cup Championship three times and was voted the CFL's most outstanding player three times, which ties him for second behind Doug Flutie. As you listen to this episode, you will hear firsthand from Anthony the way he approached the game and the physical and mental preparation he committed himself to throughout his career to improve and get better each season. Anthony willingly admits that at certain points in his career he had to hold the mirror up to himself in order to identify exactly what he needed to focus on to continue to show up and be the best version of himself possible to help guide and lead the Montreal Alouettes to greatness in the CFL. What defines Anthony the most, in my opinion, is not the records he holds, his Grey Cup wins, or his MVP awards, but more so his resilient spirit and his ability to overcome hardship and adversity in his life to carve out his own path of greatness. What we don't talk about in this episode is the struggles that both he and his wife battled in overcoming different forms of cancer in their own life. This experience helped Anthony and his family to recognize what is most important in life: love, connection, and living with authenticity and purpose. The work that Anthony has done raising awareness about domestic violence is hugely important, and he believes it's his responsibility to use his voice and platform to shed light on this issue in order to make a difference. It's rare that we can get such a glimpse into the mindset of a champion. So many lessons shared in this episode. I hope you enjoy it. Let's pick it up with Anthony talking about early days in his life growing up in Los Angeles.
SPEAKER_01:Well, my name is Anthony Calville. I'm originally from uh Los Angeles, California. Uh that's where I grew up and was raised. Um and basically uh I was able to play uh professional football in the Canadian Football League for over 20 years. And uh when I retired, I was able to set a lot of different records and and accomplish a lot of things with my teammates here in Montreal. But um, you know, that kind of just gives you uh, I guess, a general picture of uh of where I'm at or who I am right now. But uh but yeah, I was able to play professional football for 20 years.
SPEAKER_00:Awesome, awesome. And I had Chuck Ealy. Are you familiar with Chuck Ealy? Of course. Yeah, I had him on the podcast a couple months ago, and what a great man he is. And you have similar stories in the sense that you're from the States, but you ended up living in Canada well after your career, and uh you fell in love with Canada. So I really appreciate the work that you're doing now in Montreal. But right out of the gate here, I want you to talk about what personal and professional excellence means to you. And it means different things to different people, but as an elite athlete, you had the just right kind of mix of many different qualities and strengths to become the amazing player that you were and to leave your lasting mark in the CFL. But when you reflect back on your career and your accomplishments, I have two questions. And the first one is what strengths and qualities do you feel that you naturally possessed that allowed you to excel in the sport? But then secondly, which skills and qualities might have been initially lacking within yourself and how did you go on to develop those skills and qualities in order to thrive in the league as a quarterback and a leader? So a two-part question, but why don't you begin with the strengths and qualities that you feel you naturally possessed?
SPEAKER_01:Um well, I I think for myself there's also there was always a natural ability to play sports, um, you know, playing baseball, basketball, football, and I ran track uh from the age of five. Um so I I think I always had that gift, and uh I was very I was a very shy uh young kid. Um and uh and and this the sports really kind of helped me uh grow into myself because like I said, I was uh I was never a born leader. It was something uh I was very quiet, kind of led by example. But I I kind of learned over the years that when you're in a position in sports and and you're one of the best players on each team, people look up to you, right? So uh that responsibility kind of um I think I I kind of learned it uh over the years and and and really didn't really understand um the leadership role uh really until I got older, probably into high school and into university, and especially into into the um into the professional level. Um But uh to me that's where that's where it was. So and I was always I always had a lot of people kind of uh show me the way like my coaches were were so important for my development, um, not only as a as a football player but as a as an individual, um just learning uh what uh a good person to be. But I think the biggest thing for me is I was able to have this gift to play sports, and I was able to learn and grow from there. But the leadership part, believe me, I was this quiet, quiet, shy young man, and uh and the sports allowed me to build my confidence up and become the leader that I eventually end up becoming.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so do you think, like looking back on yourself when you were young into high school, even college when you played at Utah, um, do you feel like did you gravitate more towards being an introvert or an extrovert? And the reason why I asked that is I was team captain of my team, and I I felt like even though I felt I now realize I was a natural introvert, I felt this pressure to be an extrovert and and put myself in these uncomfortable positions of trying to be an extrovert when I was really an introvert. And there is a power that lies in being an introverted leader. But what type of leader were you? Were you more introverted or naturally extroverted?
SPEAKER_01:Uh definitely introverted. Um, like I said, just being in the position uh that I was in in high school and being the quarterback and being a captain, uh, I didn't say a whole lot. I was always I always led by example. So all the hard work that I put in, uh training to get ready um year in and year out really stood out. But there were times where I did have to speak up uh when something was going wrong with the team or something needed to be said, then I would get up in front of the uh the team and say what I had to say. Um but most of the time it was all introvert, and I didn't feel that um I didn't feel that I had to, especially in in early on in my career in college, uh and in early on in my career uh as a as a professional athlete, I didn't feel the pressure to be, okay, listen, you gotta say more. Um you're in this position. Uh I I think that kind of came later on, probably in the second half of my career, where I realized, okay, what what I say has the potential to have a major impact on our team. Because as much as the coach is always going to repeat the message, repeat the message, and this is what I've learned is the players also have to take ownership of that message as well, because the coaches are not going to be able to see and hear everything. So it takes the leaders in the locker room to take ownership of that message and make sure that everybody's staying on course. So that's where it was for me in the second half of my career. I realized, okay, um, I got to start saying a few more things, but I didn't feel like, okay, I like I didn't feel uncomfortable doing it. I just knew that's as I matured and I got older, I realized that the more I could say verbally, um, the more of an impact that they could have on the team. But but it wasn't coming from from what I thought, it was coming from what the coaches had presented to us as our rules and regulations. And I mean, I felt that I needed to say something to make sure everybody stays on board, then I did. But for the most part, I was really introverted with my whole leadership aspect.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so really staying aligned to the values of the organization and then stepping up and saying what you had to say to ensure that that the values were being pushed out to the team, right? To keep the team on track.
SPEAKER_01:Uh to me that was very important because, like you said, that the you know the coaches uh are the leaders, they set the foundation for the values that that that represent each team, and then it takes the guys in the locker room who who are in contact with the players every day to make sure that uh everything's aligned, and that's where the ownership of a player comes into play.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, for sure. So the second question had to do with, you know, I did a lot of reading about your career and and some interviews you had done, and you talked about, I think, in one article where you know, obviously you had a a strong degree of confidence going into the professional league, but also there's always that element of self-doubt. So um, can you talk about what you feel might have been lacking within yourself early on and how you might have developed? You know, we talked a little bit about the leadership, but were there any other areas that you really had to focus on developing uh to become the player that you became?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so when when I first when I first uh entered into the Canadian Football League in 1994, I started off with the Las Vegas Posse, which was a brand new team. Uh the Canadian Football League expanded into the U.S. The first year was in 1993. Uh, and then uh there was one team, the Sacramento Gold Miners, and then in 1994, the year that I came out, they added three new teams, uh, the Baltimore Stallions, the Streetport Pirates, and then the Las Vegas Posse. So that's where I started. So our team was basically all made up of rookies, like the whole entire team. Uh I would say 90%. Once there was the final roster, it was it was uh pretty much all rookie. So so I really didn't have uh an opportunity to learn from a veteran player because everybody that was on that team, especially from the quarterback position, was fresh out of college, right? So so for me, I I just I thought at that particular time that, okay, all the things that I was doing in college, I'm gonna continue to do the exact same things once I got into the professional level. Um, because that's what got me to that point. It got me in the door, it got me uh into a starting position. But when I look back on my career, especially early on, um, you know, I wasn't uh I wasn't doing the things that were necessary to be a consistent championship quarterback. And that comes with watching film, um strength training, um, and and then also being a leader. So all those things uh I was not doing at that particular time. And and I got hurt quite often uh my first year. I was very inconsistent. I had some great games and then had some horrible games. Um so that was a bit of a challenge. And then when I went from Las Vegas, uh after that one year, uh I went to the Hamilton Tirecats, and I did have now a couple of veteran players in front of me, a guy named Mike Mike Kerrigan and Steve Taylor were the quarterbacks there. And when I got there, I kind of had this attitude well, I don't care who these people are, uh, I'm gonna go in there and compete and I want to play. So once we competed, uh, I became the starter uh for the first game. So in my mind, I just felt that, well, if I could beat these guys out, then they have nothing to offer me uh in terms of experience and trying to teach me how to be uh a consistent quarterback. And that was a big, a big mistake because they were they were veteran players, but I just I was very stubborn. Um I thought that, well, if I could beat them out and become a starter at the age of 22, then I don't need to listen to anybody. So I think that was my my big challenge early on in my career was was being stubborn, uh being closed-minded. Um and and my three years there in Hamilton, um I was very inconsistent. And then by the third year, uh uh, well, my fourth year told in the Canadian Football League, I got released. And that was very difficult because after four years, um, I was uh I was on the street, right? And uh and I look back at it now, and and the biggest thing for me was I was not open-minded and I wasn't uh I was very stubborn, and it definitely affected uh how I was performing performing on the field.
SPEAKER_00:And was that, you know, when you say you were stubborn, was that more because you had an independent spirit and you wanted to figure it out on your own? Uh was it a combination of of uh ego and just wanting to prove yourself? What like if you reflect back, what do you think? What do you think it was?
SPEAKER_01:I I I think overall, like when I really look back at myself and and how I learned over the years, um I I didn't ask a lot of questions. Um I kind of kind of figured things out on my own. Um I wasn't the best student growing up, so I always felt that if I asked questions, there were gonna be dumb questions and people were gonna look at me like, oh, this guy doesn't know what he's doing or what he's talking about. So I always kind of kept that inside of me where I'm I'm gonna figure this thing out on my own. It's gotten me to this point, so I'm gonna keep it that way. Um and I think that's that that's that's how I looked at it at that particular time. Um, but on top of that, I was just like, well, I got I I made it this far um to this point in my career uh without asking for help or or learning from somebody else. So for me, that was successful. I was okay. But after I got released, I had a I had to take a step back and realize I can't do this on my own anymore. Um I gotta be able to learn and be open-minded if I want to continue with my career. So it was a really huge turning point for myself. But it took a lot of soul searching to really realize, hey, uh, I can't do this on my own anymore.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and that there's a sense of vulnerability that comes with that. And and uh, you know, trusting that people will be there to support you. And when we look at the Montreal Alouettes, you played from 1998 to 2013, so 16 straight seasons, um, how your body did it, I don't know. That's an amazing story in itself. But um obviously there was the right environment and place that allowed you to thrive in Montreal. And what I want to ask you is based on your upbringing and who you were and the type of learner you were, and what you needed to grow and learn and develop, what conditions were present in Montreal that supported your growth as an athlete and ultimately allow you to achieve so much success there? Well, a few things.
SPEAKER_01:I think one, it started with me, uh uh taking a step back and realized that I needed help. Um and I knew it was important to me that I wanted to go to a team that was a winning organization. Uh, because if they're winning and they have a history of winning, they they know what they're doing. And then two, I wanted to go somewhere where I could learn from an experienced championship quarterback. Uh and Montreal had both. They were a winning organization, and they had a quarterback named Tracy Hamm, who was starting quarterback, and and he was at the tail end of his career. So when I got there, uh I came in with the right uh attitude. I wanted to be open-minded. Um, and I just learned from Tracy. So, you know, whatever Tracy did, I just kind of followed in his footsteps. So, you know, he would always, you know, show up about three hours before practice, and then he would watch film, take care of his body. He would do, he kind of had a routine to get himself ready to play week in and week out. So I would just sit with him and then he would explain to me um the film that we're watching, the defense that we're facing. And that would happen every day. So I was just sitting there absorbing all this information um to see what it really took to be a consistent championship quarterback. And the great thing about that team is uh we weren't a huge passing team, we were uh we were a running team. We had uh we had Mike Pringle, who uh who was another tremendous athlete uh who could carry a team on his shoulders. So, you know, half the time we were handing the ball off to him. So it was a lot of less pressure on myself and the other team, uh the other teammates, because the pressure was on him. So I think those things kind of came into play. Me being open-minded, me going to an organization that wins, that has a history of one and then two, um, being able to learn from somebody, like a guy like Tracy Cammon. And the good thing is they kind of all fall in place because, you know, Tracy basically was what he explained to me was he was just doing the exact same thing that he learned when he was in Edmonton. You know, in Edmonton, you know, there was himself, there was Matt Dunnegan, it was Damon Allen, and all these guys are kind of learning from one another, but they learned it from the the quarterback that preceded them as well. So it was just something that they learned that they wanted to pass down. But the biggest thing, Andy, it comes, and this is what Tracy told me. He goes, Anthony, as much as you thank me uh a lot in your speeches about how I changed your career, uh, he always said, and it always stood out to me, was, Well, you were finally willing to listen and and be an open-minded about it, because uh that wasn't the case uh to the prior years in my career. So as much as I thanked him, I think uh it also I think back that, you know, it was a lot of soul searching for myself that I needed to change the direction if I wanted to continue playing professional football.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, that's so so important. And when you, you know, when you think back uh about your life and and going through what you went through, you experienced a lot of love and a sense of belonging from important mentors. So maybe Tracy was one, but in particular, I just want to share uh a little excerpt from an interview that I read where you talk about Jim Zorn and the role that he played. And in your own words, what you say is you begin with a question by saying, How did I get through such a childhood? Simply put, there was always someone who believed in me and someone who gave me a chance. Later in junior college, my coaches thought that I had potential to be a great football player. Even in university, people continue to see my potential and talent. I got the opportunity to play at Utah State, and it was thanks to one man, my coach Jim Zorn. When I think of Jim, it was he who showed me what it is to be a father. So talk about the role that Jim played in your life and other mentors played in your life and what they taught you to see in yourself that helped you to see what was possible in your life.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I I think it starts back in in California. Um, like I mentioned earlier, uh I played uh I played multiple sports from the age of five. And and at the time I did not realize that all these people who were coaching us uh were all volunteer coaches. And they were all people that had their own jobs, their own family, but they still took time to coach the kids in the neighborhood. So that uh had a major impact on me because my my life really changed when I was around 12, 13 years old when I when our father finally left the household and my mom had to go to work full-time. Um and now uh we had a lot more time on our hands, me and my my two other brothers and my sister. But um there were people in the neighborhood who coached us and knew the what was going on who kind of helped us, right? So if we needed something, if we needed something, some food, if we needed somebody to pay for our registration, they would do that. But at the end of the day, it was always somebody that believed that that they were gonna help uh us out, help me out uh to play sports because that's where that's where basically I really arrived in. So when I went to high school, it was the exact same thing. Our high school coach Rick Kunishima uh was another person, and I'll never forget this. My my senior year or going into my senior year uh uh in high school to high school, uh Rick Kunishima took me and a few other players to the University of USC. And we kind of just walked around the campus and we we took in a practice, and he basically said, Listen, guys, if this is something that you want, um, you got to go work for it, a chance to get a scholarship, a chance to play Division I football. But it all comes down to what you are capable of doing. Um so that really stood out for me and in even in high school. Um, I remember like I was always struggling in school. I was a lot of uh remedial classes, but going into my senior year, the principal, the head coach said, you know what, if Anthony is going to be able to, if if we want him to earn a Division I scholarship, he has to be in these regular upper level classes. So they made a decision to put me in those classes to give me an opportunity uh to uh get better grades and and have the the right classes that if a school decided to give me a scholarship, then I would qualify. So all those things, when I look back on it, were always people who believed in me, even though maybe I did not believe in myself, there was somebody saying, No, Anthony, you can do this. So there was always one or two coaches at at every point in my life that that just gave me a little push. So my high, my principal, my high school coach, and then when I go to junior college, another guy named Tom Maher, who was uh our offensive coordinator. And then from there I go on to Utah State. And and and this is where things really kind of changed because you mentioned Jim Zorn, and uh, you know, Jim Zorn had an amazing career in the National Football League. But you know, for him, yes, he wanted to develop uh uh quarterbacks, but he also wanted to just give his input on life. So he would invite the quarterbacks over to his house for dinner. And I remember sitting down at the table, and we didn't really sit much at our table for dinner. It was usually at Thanksgiving or Christmas, but it wasn't a normal thing. So, and I I just saw his interaction with his kids, you know, sitting down with them and they're talking about their day, they're talking about I love you, they're kissing each other, and and it really stood out for me. I'm like, you know, this is something that's that's very nice. And and and you know, I remember over the years talking to Jim, and he was like, listen, Anthony, he goes, You have the ability to make a change, uh, to do something different that that uh maybe you don't you did not experience growing up, um, but uh but you have the ability to make a change for your future uh and your family's future. So so that was always huge for me. Uh just you know, people planting that seed, like, hey, you have that ability. So uh those are just a few people that I mentioned that really helped me uh grow as a person. And then, you know, once I get into my professional career, of course, tracing him was a big part of it. But you know, Jim Zorn and I always kept in contact, and you know, I would talk to him about you know things that were coming up in in my career. So uh we're still we're still friends to this day.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's amazing. And I mentioned in my email to you, uh just to prep for this uh podcast that I I've done some work under Dr. Michael Gervais, the sports psychologist from the Seattle Seahawks. He's got an amazing podcast, finding mastery, and he had Jim on a little while ago. And and Jim, everything you're saying about Jim that you just summarized in four or five minutes, it was an hour of that in the podcast. And you really felt as you listened to him talk about his life, his family values and and character values, and all of these important things, and that these things are are what should be prioritized when developing athletes, you know, because it gives them a sense of belonging, that that sense of social and emotional well-being. But Dr. Michael Gervais, um, when I think of him and his work, he states that confidence comes from a mix of experience and inner voice. Uh, but he firmly believes that it's what an athlete says to themself that has a powerful impact on their success or lack of success. So I want to ask you, when what do you feel or where do you feel confidence comes from and how as a coach now, how can you develop the confidence of the the players that you coach and mentor?
SPEAKER_01:Um I I definitely strongly believe it does come from within. Um it's it's amazing um what you just mentioned there, because you know, there's this constant mental battle that you go through as a professional athlete, um not only dealing with the distraction of media or fans and people talking about whether how good or bad you are as a player, but um for myself personally, um when I'm preparing for a game, um, especially the night before a game, I'm I'm visualizing, I'm going to each particular play, and I'm kind of you know visualizing a completion, a touchdown. And every once in a while in my mind it'll be like, oh shoot, you just do an interception. And then you start you like your your heart starts pounding, like, oh, that can't happen. Um and then and then I talk, and then I it's it's a it's a funny technique, but then I would just kind of repeat to myself, no, it wasn't an interception, it was a completion. We got our first down and we moved from there, and then I'm able to kind of calm down um from there. Um, and it's amazing because I don't think a lot of athletes talk about that mental aspect of what goes on in our heads, right? Um the funny thing is we uh we did a reunion, uh we did a uh gray cup reunion of our 2009 uh championship game. Um, and it was uh about five or six players with our coach, and we were down at halftime, and and the question came up, what was going through our minds? And I, you know, I kind of shared what was going through my mind. Um and then uh basically kind of like this, man, we're down, we gotta get going. Like it's we get you know, I gotta get my act together. I didn't play well in that first half, this is not who I am. Um, and then my teammates heard me saying what I was saying, basically what I just repeated to you. And he's like, Anthony goes, if I would have heard you say that to us during halftime, then I would have had no confidence in you whatsoever. Uh, we would have lost, I knew we would have lost that game. And and I told Avon, I his name was Avon uh Cobra, I said, Avon, we as athletes, we all go through this mental aspect of challenging uh uh uh of what to do and how to get over it. And everybody I truly believe that everybody has their own way of dealing with it. We as professional athletes um have a mental capacity to deal with it uh better than people who did not who did not make it into the top into the professional ranks. And for those who were able to play for a long time, uh, have another ability to deal with it. And for me, my big thing was whenever I my confidence came from within. I prepared myself. I knew exactly what I had to do on each and every play. I could spit out my reads, I could spit out the coverages, I knew what the down and distance, what the coverage is going to be, or the percentage of the coverage gonna be. So I was so prepared that nothing was gonna surprise me when I got on that field. Um, but it was that mental preparation. I I spent I spent hours and hours studying every single play. Um and I try to explain that to my teammates when I was playing the other quarterbacks. I'm like, hey guys, the night before the game, I spent about three hours after I have dinner with my family. I go upstairs and I go to the game plan and I go through every single read. And then the next day when I get up, I have breakfast, and then I that's all I'm doing the entire day is going through that mental preparation. Now that that's what allowed me to have success. But to be honest with you, that that confidence came within because I knew that I knew I was prepared, but I also knew that uh there was a lot of hard work and dedication that went into that because yes, that's the mental part of it. But you mentioned the physical part. I mean, I I spent hours and hours training to make sure that I was physically ready to play so many games as well. So I truly believe that it comes from within. Um and then now as a coach, I try to explain that to the players. Um now I'm coaching at the university level and I try to explain to them what I did. And it might mean it might not be uh uh right for them, but I try to explain to them, like, listen, you got to get yourself prepared. If I ask you a question about a particular play and you can't give me the proper answer right away, that's a problem. That means you are not prepared. If you can't answer the question, how are you gonna be prepared when you step on the field? So we're constantly talking about our reads and what we expect from one another from our position. Um, so and that's what I try to stress stretch to them. So I I just learned that as a coach, it comes from within, and then two is uh is not to overwhelm them with so many plays. As a player, uh we we would go into a game with 150 plays, which is way too many. Um so um, but but I know for myself um that I try to keep that in mind with the players that that they're not overwhelmed as well.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and what Gervais talks about, everything you just said, reminds me of what Gervais talks about, where he says you have the tip of the arrow, which is the elite athletes, right? But then you actually have the actual tip of the arrow, which is that 1% that does it your way. And that's why you probably lasted 20 years in the league and accomplished what you accomplished because you were the tip of the arrow, because you did everything possible to mentally and physically prepare. And one of the things he talks about as well, Michael Gervais, when he interviews Olympians and uh elite athletes, regardless of sport, is the power of visualization. And what he asks his athletes that he interviews is um when you visualize, do you visualize only success? And all of them, the elite, uh the tip of the arrow, they will visualize maybe 80% success, but then they'll visualize 20% throwing a pick, for example, and walking off the field and then going back on for that next drive with the mindset that you're gonna bring on the field, so you actually visualize failure and how you're gonna bounce back from failure. And it's a strategy used by a lot of PGA professionals, golfers, that they know they're gonna hit it in the trees. So when you hit it in the trees, visualize that little open window and punching it back into play, then hitting it up and making par. So um did you, as you just described, did you also see failure and how you were gonna bounce back?
SPEAKER_01:Um I can't recall uh doing much of that. It was just more I was replacing that negative thought with a positive thought. Right. Yeah, and that it was more of that aspect uh uh just just for myself. Um but I don't remember uh thinking about the opposite of what you just mentioned.
SPEAKER_00:Did you think about when plays broke down, what your your um you know the backside receiver was gonna do had to improvise, was that part of it?
SPEAKER_01:No, it was really just it was just the the fundamentals of the play itself. Like here's my first read, second read. If that's not open, I'm going to my third. If that's not open, it's my fourth read. If that's not open, then I gotta get going. Um it was more it was more that aspect, not the specific, okay. I'm throwing it between two DBs and yeah. No, it was just it was just the uh the coverages, like I'm visualizing the coverages. I know that this is the coverages that I'm gonna see this week. So it was more of the specific details of that particular play in that defense.
SPEAKER_00:So when you when you visualize it, then you saw it on the field, you recognized it right away because you had visualized it.
SPEAKER_01:Um visualized it multiple times, like not just one time, it was multiple, multiple where it was like this is like me sitting in my bed study right now. This is a non-issue. Awesome.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, awesome. And when you think about flow, and the one thing I like to ask the athletes that I have on the podcast is what flow means to you, and and uh what did it feel like when you were experiencing high levels of flow uh when you were playing? And can you um remember any particular moments in big games that you you experience that sense of flow? And you know, because people define it differently, time slows down, you don't, you know, you tunnel vision, whatever it is, it's different to different people. But um so what was it like for you to to feel that sense of flow? And in particular, what do you think now gets in the way of flow? Now, flow, give me uh um just like being in the zone. Yeah, totally, being in the zone, exactly. Okay, do no wrong.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so uh I I think I was a little bit unique uh in terms of how I played and how I performed and and how I conducted myself on the sideline. I was very, you know, when I came to the sideline, I sat at the end of the bench and didn't really want a lot of people talking to me. Um I and the reason why is I always felt that once I started talking to somebody that was uh that was next to me, and if it wasn't football related, it would get me out of the zone that I needed to be in. I needed to stay focused. Like during a normal practice week, like I would go to the bench and I would talk to the guys about the play and relax, no big deal. But as we got closer to the game, like if the game was on Sunday and now it's Thursday, uh and now it's Friday, I started to change. Um, my mental uh capacity, my ability to be irritated changed. Like my wife talked about it all the time. As I got closer to the game, I became, I started to become a different person because I started building up to getting myself ready to be focused and not relax and like, oh, it's not a big deal. Um, we couldn't have anybody over the house uh uh the day before the game. I didn't want anybody coming over because I wanted to just be focused. Even when my girls were younger, my wife would take the girls out because uh I had a certain routine and and then I became very, very irritable.
SPEAKER_00:Um just because I was like when you say irritable, you mean irritable if that routine was broken in any way?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, and if if somebody, you know, if somebody came over when they weren't supposed to, or it's just like you're getting me out of what I need to be doing. Um and uh and and then once the game was over, I became back to this, you know, this normal what my wife could call my normal personality. But during the game itself, so there was this whole buildup, like I just mentioned. And then once game day came, it was like another level of of me being focused and thinking about the game and going through my reads. And and then once I got uh to the stadium or once we started playing, once the offense was off and I was on the bench, um I was sitting at the end of the end of the bench and kind of just keep it to myself. Um there were times where I'll talk to the to the players about certain things that just happened or what's gonna happen down the road, but I was so locked in that I didn't want people talking to me because I really felt that that was gonna allow me to relax and get me out of what you talk about, the flow. Um and and him and the coaches, like Mark Tressman as our head coach, uh, we didn't say one word to us uh to each other during the game. We said hi in the locker room, that was it. And then after that, it was just I didn't want them to remind me of uh of a certain read or a certain throw because I was just so locked in and I didn't want them bugging me whatsoever because I was ready. So um, so I think that's what helped me stay in that flow, stay in that, that, that, that realm of, okay, I gotta get ready for the next series, I gotta get ready for the next play. Um, but there were a couple, there's one example that I can recall that um I remember in in the great up there in 2009 that I kind of referenced earlier, uh, there was a certain player um who liked to challenge players. Like, you know, for example, if if it's like the last series of the game and we're down by three, he'll come up to you and be like, okay, it's it's time to go to work. This is what you're built for. Um, and I when I watched the video, I could see him next to me, and you could see his head doing this, but I did not hear him. I did not hear one word that came out of his mouth. I can't I can't recall what he said. And then there was another playoff game where uh in 2011 uh against Hamilton, I believe, um he came up and did the exact same thing, and I heard every word that he said, every every word that he said, and um and we ended up losing that particular game, right? So somehow one game I was able to be so focused, and I'm not sure if I blocked him out or blocked everything out that I didn't hear him, but that particular game, at the end of the game, I heard him uh say these things. And and then I thought about it later. I'm like, why did I hear him now and not the last time? Um and and I can't give uh uh a right answer why I heard him this time and not the last time, but I was in a different mindset in 2009 when I didn't hear him, and in 2011 when I did hear him. And what's the difference? I wish I had the answer to it. I don't know because I felt that I was I was concentrating doing all the things that I was able to do over the years, but in that particular time, um I was able to hear what he had to say. So I'm not sure if that's confusing or it just makes it stands out in my mind because there was something that was different, and I can't explain what it was.
SPEAKER_00:So, what Michael Gervais says is this uh idea of process versus product, and that when we stay within the processes that we create for ourselves to bring on our peak performance, when we stay within that process, we're ultra-focused, laser sharp. And the second that we are pulled from that process and begin to think of product or outcome. So, for example, you know, we've got to score a touchdown the next series, or we, you know, you start thinking about the end result that that pulls you from the present moment and puts you into projecting into the future. So you've immediately pulled yourself from the process that that works. So um that's how he describes that difference between staying in the moment, being in your process, and then if you start to be outcome focused, you lose it and it pulls you from flow. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_01:No, it it does. Um, and um, you know, this um this whole process right now, um, you know, for myself, we talk about a sports psychologist. Um, I I finally saw a sports psychologist um after the 2008 uh football season. So um this is where um I made a lot of changes. Uh just like I did back uh after being released by the Hamilton Tire Cats, I realized that I cannot do everything on my own anymore. And and in 2008, um uh we had just lost another Great Cup. So in 2008, um I'd won one Great Cup and then lost uh five others. Um so even though I was putting up MVP years and we had great teams and we're putting up a lot of passing yards, um, I felt at that point that I needed help again. Uh I needed to reach out to somebody who could help me um get over this hump of losing great cup games. So that's when I went to go. I actually hired a team to help my training. And with that, they advised me to go see a sports psychologist. So the things that I would that I've been talking about, the sports psychologists helped me do in terms of, okay, let's replace this negative thing that comes in with a positive thought. Um so that was another soul searching opportunity for me, even though I had in terms of in terms of uh you know uh quote unquote success up to that point, um, I was still uh one victory in in great cups and five losses. Um and I wanted to see if I could do anything in my power to change that. So that's where I hired this team. Uh they pushed me harder than I ever been pushed before. I went to go see a sports psychologist. I changed up all my nutrition um and started training much harder than I ever trained before. So again, uh it was me of saying I cannot do this on my own. I gotta ask somebody else for help, which was very, very huge for my career. So when you're talking about in terms of you know looking at the end results instead of just trusting the process, um, I could relate to that because it was something that, you know, if I'm thinking, man, I I need to score a touchdown in this last drive or we're gonna lose another championship, um, that's all you're gonna think about and say, you know what, let me just uh let me just trust the process, let me trust the fact that I've been I prepared for this. I did everything in my power to get myself ready to play. Uh play and one of the main goals I wanted to do was play my best football in the fourth quarter. Um, because that's when a lot of mistakes were made uh in the past. So all those things came to play, but I I do agree in terms of um of trust in the process and not thinking about, okay, I have to get this. And if I don't, what are gonna be the results?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well, and again, what you're saying is is huge. And and I think even in 2000, you said that was 2008, even back then, seeing sports psychologists was not a common thing. It's just been in the last five years where it's really taken ground. Pete Carroll, the head coach of the Seattle Seahawks, is the one who brought Michael Gervais in to bring mindfulness and meditation to the Seahawks players, and they live and breathe stuff every day. And what Michael Gervais tells the story about when he was early in his uh sports psychology career, he had his breakthrough in the NHL. And uh so he was he was uh allowed to go spend some time with with a championship NHL team. I've never said who it was, but he's in the locker room with all the studley athletes, you know, the players, uh, and the coach literally says, Oh, we got a sports psychology. I'm gonna drop the F bomb here because this is this is exactly what happened. The coach says, uh, we got a sports psychologist here who can help you with your game. So if you're fucked up in the head, go see him and he'll help you. So Michael Gervais is like, oh my God, nobody's gonna come and see me after making that public announcement. But he stayed with the team for a few months, and it was about after two or three months that one of the leading players on the team sought him out privately in the parking lot, whispering that he needed help. And then he started to work with him, then other players started to work with him. So there was this stigma attached to sports psychology that if you needed a sports psychologist, you couldn't get the job done, you were messed up, but it's so not true. So I just wanted to share that story because that's the common, that was the common thinking, and that's that's really changing now.
SPEAKER_01:I I I think uh and and you know this, Andy, is uh as an athlete, it's always it's always hard to and challenging to change up your routine or change up the things that you've been doing and add something new. Um I mean it took me, you know, you know, I was ready what let's see, 13, 14 years into my career why I finally said, okay, I I needed I needed this extra help to get me over the hump. Um and and and that was that's where for me personally, um, you know, in this sport, it comes down to three or four, possible five um plays that could make a difference in winning and losing uh a game, whether it's a regular game or championship game. So that year I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure that I eliminated I limited my mistakes um to none, to one that will give us a better chance. But there's a lot of hard work and effort that goes into that. But um I just felt that it was important for myself, based off of the people who I hired, to they looked at me and I, oh my goodness, I took so many psychological tests, all these things, right, to figure out what what is uh what is challenging me. And uh the big thing is again just being open-minded about it and then and then trusting the people that are around you, but uh, and that's and that's what and that's what I did.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, it makes total sense. And uh, I'm sure it made a difference. Um so I wanted to segue into the last part of the podcast, and and I I do want to talk about childhood trauma because you you've gone public with your story, and I think making yourself vulnerable and sharing your authentic self gives permission to other people to do the same and to do what they have to do and seek the support that they need to um overcome some of these things. And you know, you grew up in Los Angeles, and it's no secret that you experienced a great deal of childhood trauma. So I I want to better understand the impact that childhood trauma had on you, but also how it pushed you to do something better with your life and to ultimately make a difference to other people. So I want to read uh a quote again um from a an article that was published a couple years ago uh in a Montreal magazine. And what you say is it's a very powerful statement, and I commend you on your your willingness to step up and do this. But what you said was many men who grow up in a violent environment remain prisoners to it and they continue the cycle. That's what they learn in the first years of their lives, so they believe that that is how a man should behave. But deep down inside, I knew I wasn't like that. It wasn't in me. For me, it was the contrary. I always wanted to cherish my wife, love my children, and make sure that they know what real love is and that they understand it. The cycle would stop with me. In fact, violence had the opposite effect. It showed me what I didn't want to be. And uh I shared Dr. Gabor Mate's work with you, uh, who he's done amazing work around uh childhood trauma, but the impact that childhood trauma can have leads to a deep disconnect from who we are. And the healing comes with a reconnection to our essence. Can you just talk about uh the role of childhood trauma? And instead of running from it and suppressing it, um your willingness to talk about it and what you learned um through the experience and how you were inspired to um really deeply address the issue of domestic violence?
SPEAKER_01:Uh yeah, so here in Montreal, um uh domestic violence has been a huge challenge. Uh there's been 10 women who have lost their lives uh to uh domestic violence here in our city. So there's been a lot of conversations about it here and and what's what's needed uh to help uh uh everyone that's involved. So um so I've been sharing my story. Uh my story uh came out publicly uh back in 2011, our 10th, somewhere in there when the Canadian Football League did a documentary uh on my life. And I remember when they approached us to do it, uh I mentioned to them that I did not want to talk about my dad. I didn't want him to be part of this conversation, and and the people who were in charge of the documentary agreed. So when we started the process of doing the interviews, um they sat down with my mother, and my mother uh came out and explained what she had to deal with uh growing up with domestic violence, um, or and then what what we saw. So so once she said something, we sat down as a family and we said, are we okay with this? Um this has been a family secret for years. Are we all comfortable uh sharing our experience? Um and we all agreed, yes, this would be this would be a positive thing um uh for us to share it. But I I think we didn't realize how positive it was going to be for us personally, because we started sharing things we've never talked about. Um and it was a huge relief um because it's always been just suppressed, like you just talked about. So for us as a family uh to finally talk about it openly, one, it brought back a lot of memories, uh, which was very hard to deal with. But two, it was finally a relief to just share our experience uh uh amongst one another. So in that aspect, it was great, you know, therapy to finally talk about it and try to go forward as much as we can. But we really felt by by sharing uh this information that we were able to share this information to help other people out. That's how I kind of looked at it for myself, because you know, all the things that I was able to accomplish, you know, there was a lot of obstacles for for us to overcome. Um, that domestic violence was just one of them. So, how did it affect me personally? Well, it it affected me in terms of suppressing my feelings. Yeah. Um, and that was a huge, huge challenge. Even as I got older, I just kept everything in. Um, didn't talk to people how I felt, no matter what it was. Uh, a few things uh down the road uh changed for me where I was able to open up a bit more. One was was getting married. Uh two was having children. And when you have children, my goodness, there's so much emotions that come out of you. But I was finally able to share what I was thinking. Now, I'm not perfect, my wife still gets mad sometimes. What's on your mind? What's going on? Um, right? So that's still something that that affected me. But overall, I've been able to open up uh uh a lot more uh than I was in the past. So, but I knew deep in my heart, like you mentioned, that uh for me this is something that I did not want from my family, I did not want for my wife. Um, and I talked about you know Jim Zorn and many other people who kind of inspired me to make a change and and and and telling me that I had the choice, I had the I had the ability to do that for my family. So uh, and that's what I wanted. And so all I'm trying to do now is just share my experience, uh, how I was able to overcome it by by by a lot of help from other people and making the choice to to stop a cycle. And uh and hopefully, you know, it could help somebody out there, because I'm I'm sure there are so many people out there who don't have the platform that I have who have stopped the cycle, who have done that for their family. And uh and I'm just hoping that uh, you know, just me sharing my personal story and and how I was able to overcome it, that it could help somebody out there as well. But it definitely affected me, affected my brothers, affected my mom. But I think the document really helped us finally talk about it because we've never talked about it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and what Dr. Gabor Mate says is trauma is not the bad things that happen to you, but what happens inside of you as a result of what happened to you. And studies clearly show that undealt with trauma literally causes inflammation of the body and suppresses the immune system. So the fact that um people who go through trauma suppress it and they do not talk about their feelings and they have no outlet, it leads to physical illnesses. You know, and uh uh Gabor Mate goes on to say that uh our schools are full of kids with learning difficulties and mental health issues that are trauma-based, but the average teacher never gets a single lecture on the the impact that trauma has on young people, let alone coaches, really learning the impact that trauma can have on people. And he goes on to say that we need trauma-informed medical care and trauma-informed education. And if we have a trauma-informed society, we would have a society that is much more compassionate. Um so there is a place for compassion, you know, and when you think of professional sport, an elite sport, um it's hard to be compassionate for the other team because you want to beat them so badly, but everybody has their own story and their own journey and and goes through struggles. So stories of resilience are incredibly powerful. So the a couple more questions just before we end. But when you think of your responsibility now as a coach, what is it that you want to develop in your players and and pass down to them and and how do you go about um instilling that in them so that they um they can really be their authentic self?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think you you hit on something that's important, um, being compassionate for one another. Um and the only way that I think you could be compassionate if you really get to know the person, uh, know their background, know the details. So back when I when I coached in Toronto, um, we did a little uh scenario where we kind of broke up um the players. There's like you know, 15 players in each room with one coach. And basically uh people were able to uh, if they wanted to share something about themselves. And it got it got pretty deep, pretty deep. People were sharing some stuff that they had to go through. And once we got out of that room, I I looked at certain players differently now because I knew more about their story. I knew why they acted a certain way because of what happened to them uh growing up. So I might be a little bit more patient with them in terms of okay, understanding, okay, this this young man went through this, and and and when I say something, that might trigger something that that that he thought about or or went through as a young man. So so I truly I strongly do believe that the more you know um your teammates, the more you know your players, not just the coaches, from coach to coach, but from player to player, player for coach, um you're gonna be uh a lot more patient with them and compassionate with them if you know more about their background and and where they come from and and what makes them tick and how they became the the the person they are today. Because, like you said, every single person um on our football team has a story. They all experience something. Uh, some share it, some don't. But the more we get to know one another as a group, uh, I think the better we're gonna be off. So for us, like uh when we started doing our meetings here at the university, uh the first thing we wanted to do is we kind of went around the room and we're asking guys to share some stuff about themselves that that other players don't know about. Um, so that kind of started that process of us trying to get to know uh each other a lot better. But it's been challenging because everything's been on Zoom that we had to deal with this year. But uh, but to me, I I think it's very it's very important. You talk about team bonding, uh doing certain things um uh away from the sport uh by doing different activities. I think the more time that you could spend uh as a team uh outside of your environment where guys are able to kind of just sit back and relax, uh, they're gonna get to know one another a lot more. And the more they know each other, I think the better football team that you could be, just because uh guys are gonna not just uh care about winning, but they're gonna care about the person that's next to them as well. Um so I think that's important. So that's something that we're trying to do uh this year with our football team.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's awesome. And what you're saying deeply connects to uh something called self-determination. Theory, which is a research-based framework that is the really the science of intrinsic motivation. And to create an environment where every stakeholder is intrinsically motivated to be their best for fundamental human needs. And the one is autonomy. You feel that you have some autonomy and choice over the direction that you're taking. So it's not so much control and compliance like the old model of coaching, you know. It's giving autonomy and involving players in what their development looks like. So autonomy. The second one is relationships. And when there are deep relationships in place, players will be intrinsically motivated to do their best and to learn. And the third one is competence, that you feel that you have the skills, what it takes to be competent in any environment. But those three fundamental human needs, autonomy, relatedness, and competence, are deeply connected in planting the seeds for all stakeholders to be intrinsically motivated. And that's that's such a beautiful environment when you can create that on a on a team or in any organization. So I have a dear friend who is a big fan of yours, and he wanted me to ask you two questions. Actually, one question, but a favorite football movie or a book that has really inspired you?
SPEAKER_01:When I finished my professional career, um I wanted to do one thing which I never do, and that was finish my degree. Um so uh I needed like 18 credits to to get a general studies bachelor's degree. Um and so I took courses online, and one of the courses I had, there was a book that we had to read, and it was called The Uh Seven Habits of Highly Affective People. Stephen Covey. Stephen Covey. So I read this thing, and it just really blew me away from a better father because it allowed me to be a lot more patient. Yeah. Right. And uh and uh so that that book really uh helped me uh along the way. Um and again, that was that was in 2014 when that when I went and did that. So so I I I think uh just like my football career, um, I always was looking for opportunities to grow, and that has not changed as I as I retired. I'm always trying to uh uh grow and be open-minded and and just um and just improve myself as I get older.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, awesome. So, Anthony, where can people find you on social media if they want to connect with you? Um I think you're on Instagram.
SPEAKER_01:Uh let's see. Yeah, I am on Instagram.
SPEAKER_00:I just don't know what the um I'll I'll look it up right now. I think it's Instagram and Twitter. Um you're yeah, Anthony uh Calvio uh 13 on uh Instagram. And um are you active on Twitter as well? Yes, I believe it's A Calvio13. Okay, okay, great. I'll I'll put that in the uh show notes. But uh I really want to thank you for your time. Fantastic conversation. Um really important some of the things we discussed, in particular uh, you know, raising awareness about domestic violence, and I I really appreciate your your time today, Anthony. It's my pleasure. Okay, cool. So just stay on the line as I close off the show and I'll just say goodbye to you. But thank you very much for listening to this episode with Anthony Calvio, and I hope you come back to listen to future episodes.
SPEAKER_03:Andy Vasily.