Point Community Church
The teaching of Point Community Church in Austin, TX.
Point Community Church
Divine Sex: Singleness 1 Corinthians 7:17-40
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I'm Alex. It's good to be with you guys this morning. Like Nick said, normally I'm the guy leading worship, and I also uh take charge of the student ministry. But I'm just reminded every time I get to teach how grateful I am to be part of a church where so many people with so many gifts are able to just jump in and lead. Like every time I get to be led by Landon, it's such a reminder that God has uniquely uh given us so many different gifts, so many different people with the capacity to lead in so many different areas. And it's good to be a part of a church that is not centered around a personality or one person. Um that's just good. It's not always like that. And I'm really grateful to be here at point. And uh I'm also grateful to be here because you know, we're almost to the end of our series on human sexuality. What's God's design for sex and sexuality? And you know, I'm grateful to be um at a church where we go where the Bible takes us, you know, we go where the Bible leads. We're in 1 Corinthians 7 now, and you know, a lot of churches will, you know, they'll pick uh the topic of sex and they'll just pick it, and they're like, we're gonna talk on sex, and with a lot of different motivations, whether it's to get people to come or whether it's to be exciting or to get people interested. And a lot of times there's a lot of different motivations that that churches have to teach on this topic. But I'm grateful to Nick and I'm grateful to our elders because we're just going where the Bible has taken us. You know, we're at 1 Corinthians 7 now, and and uh God has just put uh in his sovereignty this extended passage on his design for sex and marriage and singleness. And uh I'm just grateful to be a part of a church where we're gonna go verse by verse through the Bible and take whatever God gives us and uh and dig into it. So thanks, elders. Love you guys. Um, we're still in 1 Corinthians 7, and this passage that we're gonna be studying, that we're gonna be reading together today, has a lot to teach us, like Nick said, about what it means to be single. Okay, God has a lot to say on the topic of singleness and a lot to speak to the people in this room that are single. But um, and that and that is primarily what we're gonna focus on this morning, but I want to take us into a little bit of a higher level overview of this passage before we dig down deep into the topic of singleness, because I think God has something to say for everybody in this room, for everyone in his church through what he's saying in this passage. And so the way we're gonna do this, um, we're gonna break this up into two sections, okay? This sermon's gonna have two sections. The first one, we're gonna take this big, um, overarching truth that God has for all of his people, and then we're gonna like hone in and apply that truth to singleness, okay? Does that sound good? Are y'all with me? Yes! Okay, awesome. So we're gonna go over the first eight verses before we continue, and this is uh um the context of this. Paul has just finished writing a section of scripture um that Nick went over last week. He's writing to people that have become Christians after they got married, okay? So two people, non-believers, the wife or the husband, starts to follow Jesus. And Paul's like, okay, what are you supposed to do in this circumstance? Paul's like, you need to stay married to these people, inasmuch as it's in your power to do so, okay? Becoming a Christian doesn't mean that you dissolve um your covenants with other people or dissolve these earthly relationships. Like, stay where God has called you. Okay, that's what Paul has said right before this passage. So that's the context of what we're about to read. Okay, you guys ready? Alright, this is 1 Corinthians 7, 17 to 24. Let's read it together. However, each one must live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him. This is what I command in all the churches. Was anyone already circumcised when he was called? He should not undo his circumcision. I don't know the uh the mechanics of that, but don't do it. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? He should not get circumcised. Circumcision does not matter. And uncircumcision does not matter, but keeping God's commands does. Each person should remain in the life situation in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? This should not be a concern to you. But if you can become free, by all means take the opportunity. For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord's freed man. Likewise, he who is called as a free man is Christ's slave. You were bought at a price. Do not become slaves of men. Brothers, each person should remain with God in whatever situation he was called. So one of the most amazing things about the gospel of Jesus, okay, one of the things I love most about it is that it's for everyone. Okay, the gospel, um, to be a disciple of Jesus, it's for all people. Rich people, poor people, young, old, weak, strong, man or woman, married and single. Um, all skin types, all languages, okay. The gospel is for everyone, and the gospel of Jesus doesn't require us to become some other cultural or traditional thing before we come to Christ, okay? Um, you know, that that's actually why Paul is writing about circumcision, okay? So, you know, for those of you who don't know, probably some of you guys don't, the Christian faith came out of Judaism, okay? So God, um, through, you know, he picked Abraham. He's like, Abraham, I'm gonna build a nation through you. And through this people that I have chosen to love and work through, you're gonna multiply, you're gonna fill the earth, and you're gonna be my people, my representatives on the earth. And through you guys, I'm gonna use y'all to spread um knowledge of me, faith in me across the earth, okay? And it's out of that faith that Christ comes as the ultimate fulfillment of God's promise to bless the earth through Abraham, okay? So Christ was born a Jew, he fulfilled the Jewish law, he pleased God with his life, okay? Christ is the fulfillment of this Jewish faith, all right? And so some of the early Christians, you know, a lot of them were Jewish. And so they they were under the impression, or they thought, that to become a Christian, you had to become a Jew first. Okay, they're like, because you know, our faith comes from Judaism, all these Gentile people, before they get to follow Jesus, you have to become a Jew. And what that means is you have to become circumcised, okay? Because circumcision is this incredibly important and symbolic physical act that the Jews, uh, the Jewish males would do on the eighth day after they were born. Because God has given this, you know, when God called Abraham, he's the forefather of the Jewish and the Christian faith, he said, You're gonna be certain, you're gonna be circumcised, and all of your males are gonna be circumcised. This is gonna be this physical expression and this physical representation that you are my people. This is a sign that I am in covenant with you. And so the Jewish people were incredibly like, uh, it was incredibly important to them that someone be circumcised. It distinguished them from all the nations around them. It was a point of pride. Um, if you, you know, you were uh a man and you decided you wanted to convert to Judaism in that time, uh, you were getting circumcised. There's no getting around, it's happening, okay? If you want to like engage with uh the worship of God in any tangible way, um that was like priority number one. Um and you know, Peter uh was aware of this in Acts 10 when God calls him to go to the house of Cornelius, okay? Cornelius is a Roman centurion, he is not Jewish, you know, he is infidel, he is like enemy number one because him and his people are basically occupying the place where Peter lives. They're occupying Jerusalem. Um and you know, for a Jew, for a person like Peter, even entering the house of a Gentile, entering the house of an uncircumcised person, was enough to make you unclean. So Jewish people would not do it. They wouldn't go into the house of a Gentile. And Peter says this in Acts 10. Um, he said, You know it's forbidden for a Jewish man to associate or visit with a foreigner, but God has shown me that I must not call any person common or unclean. So going back to 1 Corinthians 7, ask yourself when Paul says, You were bought with a price, do not become slaves of men. Okay, in this context, what I think Paul is saying is we're to follow God's commands, not the commands of people, not man's commands. We're not slaves to tradition or requirements that people or a church or some organization puts on us that are not biblical. Okay, we're slaves of Jesus. One example that's going to specifically apply to what we're learning today is in marriage. Christians are not extra Christian or extra holy because they're married, and you're not extra-Christian and extra holy because you're single. Our life situation is secondary to our identity in Jesus. See, so God revealed to Peter and God revealed to Paul that the gospel of Jesus is for absolutely everybody. Okay, God is calling people from all backgrounds, stories, life situations to be followers of Jesus. And there are no hoops, okay, there's no man-made traditions that we need to jump through to come into God's family. All we've got to do is believe the gospel. If you read Romans 3, we're saved by grace through faith. We're not saved by faith plus political persuasion or faith plus perfection or faith plus marriage, okay. None of that. By grace through faith. Okay? There's no other outward or cultural or conditional thing that we have to do in order to be part of God's family. The condition is just faith in Christ. Now it's also true, alright, it's going to be a little bit harder. It's also true that where we find ourselves in our lives is part of God's will. It's part of God's sovereign will. Who we are, where we find ourselves, our life situation is God's will. God is in control. Okay, each person in this room today, it really does not matter who you are, every human being in this room was made in the image of God. Okay? You were created in God's image. Doesn't matter how tall or short, or even like how healthy or sick you are, what condition you might have, like you were made in God's image. You were intentionally knit together, like in a very literal sense, by God. Okay, God was the one who knit you together in your mom's womb. You want to know why the cells multiply and divide and why you grow into a baby? Okay, it's because God is making that happen. It's God's power, it's a miracle. You know, where you were born. Where you were born was was chosen by God. Your skills, your talents, your interests were placed inside you by God. Your job, you know, where you live, your your friend group, like these are not accidental things. Where you live and the circumstances of your life are not accidents. You know, Paul is uh he's speaking to the Greeks in Athens in Acts 17, and he says this from one man, that being Adam, he has made every nationality to live over the whole earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live. Alright, the year you were born, where you live, God knew. God knew where that was gonna be. David says in Psalm 139, for it was you who created my inward parts. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Isn't that awesome? Solomon, uh, wisdom of Solomon in Proverbs 16 says this A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps. And not only did God create us intentionally, not only did he do it with uh foresight and foreknowledge, he did it with a purpose. You know, God told Jeremiah, for I know the plans I have for you, okay? And God's not limited in his knowledge. God's not like, well, I know what I'm gonna do with Jeremiah, but I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna do with Matt. I haven't quite figured that one out yet, right? You know, it's a principle. Um God has God has plans for people. God has a will. He's not limited. He knew you before you were born. God placed you where you were for a reason. You know, to be the image of Jesus in your workplace, in your family, in your neighborhood. Like, God has intention behind the choices that he makes. And this truth is is really all over the Bible. I these were the first three verses that came to mind as I was thinking about this truth. You will find it everywhere. Um, that God is in total control. But the hard part, and then I just want to acknowledge it, that is that this truth that God is in control actually brings up some pretty hard things to wrestle with, right? The brokenness that we experience in the world, the sin we experience in the world, has led to a great deal of pain and loss for almost everyone in here. So often, like, we are left with the question of why? You know, if we believe and we know and trust that God is sovereign and that his purposes will come to pass, and that everything really does happen at his will, it's like, why? Why was I born with this condition? Or why did this person that I love have to die? Right? Why was I born into this family? Why am I still single? You know, why am I unhappy? These questions are real, they're big, they're important. And, you know, often the answers either aren't easy or we may never know the answer to the question of why in this life. We're not promised that answer by God. You know, we know uh we know from scripture that God is in control, but we often, you know, we can't explain God's reasons for some of the things that either happen or that he allows to happen to us. You know, there's some places in Scripture where men get to ask God, they get to say, God, um, why is this happening? You know, if you're a prophet or you're Job, people get to actually speak to God and say, God, we don't get it. Okay, why is this, you know, inexplicable, painful, awful thing happening? You know, Job questioned God, and you know, God's response was not to say, Well, Job, you see, let me let you in on a thing in heaven. So one day I was sitting there, saying came up, and you know, we had this conversation. Like, God doesn't do that. God doesn't explain the reason why Job has suffered, why his members of his family have died. He's lost all of his worldly possessions. He's basically left sick, just sitting in a burned down house, okay? And Job's like, God, can you give me something? Give me something. And the Lord says, uh, where were you when I made the world? Do you know how big the ocean is? Do you know how high heaven is? Like, are you there uh when I help these animals give birth, like in the remote jungle? Like, are you holding all the atoms in your body together by the word of your power? It's like once you can explain that, like, I'll feel compelled, like I need to give you a reason for my wisdom. And you know, God's not being a jerk, okay? He's being like, this is an important truth for us to realize is that, you know, God says this to Isaiah in Isaiah 55. He says, My thoughts are not your thoughts. They're nothing like your thoughts. Your ways are not my ways. This is the Lord's declaration. For as heaven is higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. You know, we're often tempted, you know, when we're in the midst of pain, when we're in the midst of loss, something really, really difficult. We struggle to believe that either God is not absent, or if not absent, that he's not vindictive or mean-spirited, right? Has anybody ever struggled with that? Maybe I'm the only one. Nick, me and Nick. If you didn't raise your hand, I don't believe you. Okay, so everybody struggles sometimes to understand, like, God, why are you letting this happen? But the truth is God is not absent, and God is not vindictive. And I literally only need one example to prove to you guys that that's true. And it's the example of the cross. Right? It's the cross of Jesus. God is not an absent God. God is a God who came to live among us as a person, as a human being. And not only did he live among us and teach us, but he experienced the weight and the consequence of our sin, right? He died in our place. He let the people that he created kill him. And not only that, but he experienced the separation from God that we deserved, okay? That is the opposite of vindictive and mean-spirited. If you want proof that God is a God of love, a God who is not absent but present, a God who is not vindictive, but giving and merciful and gracious, like look to the cross. That God would do that for us, okay? You know, the cross also reminds me that sometimes we don't understand why something awful is happening. The disciples certainly didn't understand what was happening Friday night, right? You know, it's it's Saturday and Sunday morning, and they're huddled in a room, terrified. They had no idea the significance of what Jesus had just done on the cross. They didn't get it. And just like them, you know, sometimes we don't understand God's reasons. But when we don't understand why, we can, by God's grace, trust that God's heart for us is good, that God is good, because we know that he's good because he bled and he died for the people that rejected and killed him. He died for us. David says in Psalm 34, taste and see that the Lord is good. Bless is the man who takes refuge in him. And in Psalm 107, give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His faithful love endures forever. Alright, the Bible is going to continually point out to us and remind us and insist that God is good. And uh that verse in Isaiah I read earlier, one of my favorite things about it is the context that God was speaking. Alright? God wasn't just showing off to Isaiah that he's like way smarter than him. Bro, did you know my ways are way higher than your ways? You won't get it. Like, you yeah, you're not gonna get it. That's not what he's talking about. He's not showing off to Isaiah. God has just finished declaring that he is going to redeem and pursue and rescue his people Israel. But now, why are his ways in that situation higher than ours? Because Israel was terrible, super unfaithful, going after other gods, rejecting the Lord, time and time again, just like messing up real bad and blowing it, okay? And God's like, but you know what? My ways are higher than your ways. My grace is greater than you can imagine, my mercy and my love is deeper than something that's gonna make sense to you. All right? That's the goodness of why we're so glad that God is so far beyond our understanding. Because his love is deeper and more faithful than we could possibly imagine or hope for. There's this quote by uh one of my favorite guys, super old dead guys. Love them, just like Reuben. Uh this is a guy named Charles Spurgeon. We quote him from time to time here, and uh there's a really famous quote that he said. He said it a little bit differently than this, but it was like 150 years ago, and people talked funny back then. So the quote has kind of been distilled into this uh maxim. Um, and it's really, really encouraging to me, and I've said it to myself countless times. This is what he says God is too wise to be mistaken. God is too good to be unkind. And when you can't trace his hand, you can always trust his heart. Alright, so now's the part where I get to singleness, right? Y'all have been waiting. I didn't forget. I didn't just like I didn't just forget we're talking about singleness, don't worry. I just wanted to lay this groundwork, okay? And this is the groundwork that I hope that hopefully I've laid. So here's what we know, um, here's what we've gone over so far before we jump into singleness. These three, these three points. Are they gonna be back there? You can write these down. I'll try, you can leave them up for a minute. One, God calls people and wants people in his family of all different kinds, okay? All different kinds of people. God is calling and wants a diverse, a different body, a body made up of all different parts, right? It's what God desires for his family, for the church. Number two, God is in control of your life. He's in control of the situation you find yourself in. No matter how sweet and wonderful it is, and no matter how painful and truthfully awful it is, that God is aware and he is in control, even if we don't understand how or what that looks like. Number three, God has placed you individually, whoever you are in there, God has placed you where you are for a reason. That God has a purpose behind the person you are, the life situation you're in. God knew what he was doing when he put you there. And so now we're gonna start on the rest of the passage, the the meat of it. Buckle up. I said buckle up in my notes. It's a little bit longer. Okay, this is a longer passage. Buckle up. Okay, we gotta dig in, okay? You gotta really try to focus because uh we're gonna read like a couple of long chunks of scripture, alright? It's gonna help us later. Okay, before we start, um Paul is gonna use the word virgins in this chapter. Uh and you know, the best way to understand it isn't like physical virginity, okay? I mean, yes, these people were physically virgins, but he really means it to be broader. He means people that haven't yet gotten married, okay? So when he when he says the word virgins, it's like people that aren't married, or even people that are betrothed to be married. Um so just don't get hung up on the word virgin, all right? Because he's gonna say it like four times. Alright, let's go. Paul says, About virgins, I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion, as one who, by the Lord's mercy, is trustworthy. Therefore, I consider it to this to be good because of the present distress, it's fine for a man to remain as he is, that is, unmarried. It's fine for a man to remain unmarried. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Which means like don't try to separate yourself from that uh commitment. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. However, if you do get married, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. This is the question I had after reading this part. Who thought getting married was a sin? Like, it seems like he's answering a question that no one was asking, right? Marriage is like this super biblical concept. Like, why would these people in Corinth need to be told, like, hey, if you get married, it's uh it's alright. It's not sinful. And uh I think the reason is we've got to remember who is he writing to? You know, Nick has done a great job of showing us how screwed up on this Corinthian church's view of sexuality was. And I really feel for him because really their culture was telling them these two um vastly different ideas. On the one hand, we've got this guy in the church that's um having an improper relationship with his father's wife, okay? And they're like, great, everybody's like awesome, you're free in the Lord, this is awesome. And then on the other side, you've got this part of the culture that says, if you really want to be spiritual, you know, if you really want to be a super spiritual person, you can't engage in that lower base animal sexuality, okay? If you really want to be spiritual, don't get married and never experience sex, okay? So Paul's gonna push back against both of those extremes. And I actually want to go back to some of the scriptures that Nick talked about last week. Um, verse one of chapter 7, Paul says, Now concerning the matter you wrote about, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with the woman. And I don't know what translation you use, but in some you'll notice the phrase, it is not good for a man to have sexual relations with the woman, is actually in quotations. Okay, that's not necessarily Paul saying that. He's answering a question that the Corinthians asked. The Corinthians are like, hey, there are some people saying that that's good. What's your thoughts on that? So in that context, if you read the rest of that passage, Paul says, okay, you're saying it's good for a man not to have sex relations with a woman. And then he says, Paul's response is each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Okay, so Paul is gonna push back against this um super pseudo-religious concept that no one should get married and say, marriage is awesome, and you should, it's a good thing to pursue, okay? It's not that. But here in this passage today, we're gonna see Paul push against the other extreme, okay? The extreme that like everyone has to get married. And it's it's a necessary thing, and it's super spiritual to get married, and everyone must do it. Okay, Paul's gonna push back just as hard against that extreme as we continue to read. Paul says, But such people, being those who are married, will have trouble in this life, and I'm trying to spare you. And I say this, brothers, the time is limited. So from now on, those who have wives should be as though they had none. Those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away. And I think that last sentence really helps us know what Paul is saying. He's saying, you know, this world is temporary, you know, we're not supposed to pretend like we're not married. That'd be really weird. It's like, you know, I'm not married, and your wife is like right behind you or something. Like, you know, everything's great, and you know, it's a really hard time. Like, he's saying, like, we we live with a perspective of eternity, right? And so we're able to live our lives with a greater risk, you know, a greater uh to do things that seem foolish um for the sake of the kingdom of God, to risk for the kingdom because we know that this world is not all there is. Does that make sense? Hopefully that gives a little bit more context to that. Paul continues, I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be both holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. Now I'm saying this for your own benefit, not to put, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper, and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction. Okay, we're almost done. Everybody, okay, we're almost done. A little bit longer. But if any man thinks he is acting improperly towards his virgin, that is, like his betrothed, his fiancee, if she is past marriageable age, um, and so it must be, he can do what he wants. He's not sinning, they can get married. But he who stands firm in his heart, who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will, and has desired to keep his own virgin, to like remain unmarried, will do well. So then he who marries his virgin does well, but he does not marry will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she's free to be married to anyone she wants. Only in the Lord. But she's happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God. Alright, you guys made it through. That was awesome. I feel like most of y'all were like into it. That's great. So if we look at chapter 7, like, if you split it up, or if you look at it out of context, it seems like Paul's talking out of both sides of his mouth, right? Seems kind of confusing upon first reading it. Like, so which is it, Paul? You said each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband, but also, like, if you're unmarried, you'll even do better. Seems like he's saying two different things, but Paul is not advocating that everyone should be married, and he's not advocating that everyone should be single. He's saying both are good. Both can be God's will, both can be God glorifying. You know, God, in his incredible kindness, has given us in Christ this freedom, you know, to sense what God is calling us to and to either remain single or to seek marriage. Neither one is more spiritual than the other. Getting married can be great and can glorify God. Staying single can be great and can glorify God. You know, in some situations it's better to be married, in some situations it's better to be unmarried. It's all about the perspective and the attitude that we bring to the life situation God's called us to. And you know, I my hope and my prayer is that for you know some of you single people in this room, that that is comforting. Um, that's a comforting truth because there's a lot of different types of singleness. You know, as I'm, you know, as I was preparing this message, I was thinking about some of my friends in this church and all the different ways that singleness can look. You know, there's people that that really, really want to get married, and that's like a good desire. It's good to want to get married. You don't need to feel less spiritual because you want a spouse. You know, God put that desire in us. You know, if you desire a spouse, you can pray for that. It's okay. You can, you know what? I mean, put that on the prayer card. If that's like a prayer that you that you're really wanting some support in, like, we will like we'll pray that with you. Like, that's a good thing to seek a spouse. You know, there's there's also people in this room that are called to singleness. You know, for whatever reason they're they've decided that they want um they want to remain unmarried. You know, provided that they they master and control their sexuality and like refrain from sexual sin, like that is an awesome God-glorifying thing. There's people that have been divorced, people that have had spouses cheat or leave. There's widows and widowers, there's single parents, like, so for me, you know, Alex, I'm 29, okay? I don't have one single piece of advice to give to every single person in the room. But what's great about this passage is that Paul's not necessarily doing that either. He's saying that you're free to follow God's spirit in whichever way God is leading you, whether it's to be married or to be single. And it's okay to desire either one. You know, the word says, he who finds a wife finds what is good. You know, the same is true for women that find husbands. It's a good thing to seek marriage and uh just want to affirm the singles in this room like to want to get married and to seek that out is a God-glorifying thing. And it's okay to pray for it and to ask for it and to struggle with it, okay? It doesn't mean you're less spiritual if you're like, I really want to get married. But the thing is, you know, as we do that, we have to remember that God is in control, like we said earlier. God's sovereign, his wisdom is higher than ours, and so when God says no, or if the wait is longer than we would want, we've got to remember and believe and trust that his heart for us is good. That he's wiser than us, that his plans are better for our good in the long run, even when we can't see the end. We have to trust God's heart for us. I also want to remind us, um, particularly those in the room who are single, that getting to experience your sexuality or participate in sexuality uh does not make you complete and it doesn't make you fully human. You know, it's an integral part of what it means to be a person is to have sexuality, but um, refraining from sex in obedience to God's will does not mean you're missing out, okay? Does not mean you're missing out. John Piper wrote the foreword to a book on biblical manhood and womanhood, and the introduction of that book is actually all about singleness. And uh he he gives this example of this young unmarried couple that was having sex, living together, and really just rejected out of hand Piper's view that sex is this gift from God that needs to be enjoyed in marriage, that needs to be enjoyed according to God's will. And I want to quote what they said to him. They said, We think our sexuality is part of our personhood, and not to enjoy it is to be incomplete people. We have no intention of getting married to meet the expectations of any Puritans. And we think a life of slavery to virginity would mean being only half human. Now, I really, really appreciated the point Nick made last week because it's very, very true that the founder, the perfecter, the center of our faith, Jesus Christ, was single for his entire life. Jesus never once had sex. And he was the most complete person who has ever lived and ever will be. He was utterly fulfilled, utterly content in his relationship with his father. He lacked nothing. He was a complete man. You know, Piper continues, he says, This can be a powerfully liberating to single people who may think at times, this one thing I will never have, sexual relations. And in not having it, I will not be all I was meant to be. To this thought, Jesus, the Virgin, says, a student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. We will always have mountains of truly human Christ-likeness yet to climb, but sexual intercourse is not one of them. For he, Jesus, never knew it. And he is infinitely whole. That's good. Now, if you're single in this room, God is calling you specifically to something in regards to your sexuality. And Jim actually touched on it a few weeks ago. He's calling you to sanctification. He's calling you to control and learn to master and live in a healthy relationship with your own sexuality and your sexual desires by the power of the Holy Spirit. Paul writes this in 1 Thessalonians, pretty strong language, but it's good. For this is the will of God for you, your sanctification. Do you abstain from sexual immorality? That each one of you know how to control his own body and holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God, that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter. Is that interesting that one of the things that makes God frustrated about our sin is that it affects our brothers and sisters around us? Because the Lord is an avenger in all these things. As we told you beforehand, and solemnly warned to you, for God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this disregards not man but God who gives his Holy Spirit to you. So, you know, a lot of the single people in this room someday are gonna grow up to be married. It's just that's the way it typically works, right? And God wants you to begin making war on your sexual sin now, okay? Because you bring all of your crud into marriage, okay? If if you are struggling with an addiction to pornography, that's not gonna magically end when you say your vows on your wedding day. If you're struggling with lust, make war on that today. Because God is going to sanctify you and he wants to make you uh more holy, not just, okay, once you're at this level of holiness, you can get married, but for your good, to free you from sin and to bless your future spouse. So, men, every fight against sexual sin that you make today is a gift to your future spouse if the Lord gives you one. And the same goes for women. Every time you fight sin, you're honoring God and you're honoring your future spouse that God may give you. Now, for a second before you end, I want to speak to the married people in the room, uh, of which I am one. The question for us is how can we love our brothers and sisters that are single better? There's a book called The Meaning of Marriage. Um Harley is like our resident meaning of marriage guru, and so I read it, or part of it. Uh, Tim Keller writes this whole chapter on singleness. And uh he's got this really good section that I almost want to read verbatim because I think it's so, so good. He talks about how singles in the church community are often kind of fed some really hurtful things by married people that are trying to be helpful. And they end up saying things that actually kind of uh would have been better if they just hadn't said anything at all. And so here's some four things that I think we, myself included, can say to single people that sometimes do more harm than good. And then I'm gonna just basically say uh Keller's response to it. Sometimes we say, as soon as you're satisfied with God alone, He'll bring somebody special into your life. Okay? And then Keller says, as though God's blessings are ever earned by our contentment. That we can feel our way into blessing. It's like get my emotional state to a proper place, and then God will bring me someone special, right? Alright, it doesn't work that way. People also sometimes say, you're being too picky. Then Keller says, as though God is frustrated by our fickle whims and needs broader parameters in which to work. God's like, I can't do that. You're no, be more vague, please. Right? And that's not true. Sometimes you say, you know, as see if you're single, you can commit your life wholeheartedly to the Lord. You know, which is true. But it's also like God isn't calling people to be emotional martyrs. And uh, you know, if you if you're married, you you can have no part of that, right? Married people are able to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. And single people, you know, sometimes you put pressure like, you know, if you're not at the church 40 hours a week, you know, we know you have a lot of uh disposable time, okay? You can be doing way more, okay? I think that sometimes puts an unfair weight or burden on our single brothers and sisters to like, um, you know, since you're not married, you can be a super Christian and have no personal life. That's a really, I'm frankly, that's that pressure is sometimes put on them, and it's unfair. Lastly, before you can marry someone wonderful, the Lord has to make you someone wonderful. As though God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified. You know, as as married people in the room, we have a responsibility to not just give tried advice or to not just say things that feel true or to say things that we think are going to make people feel better. What people need is the gospel truth, any biblical truth. You know, when when people are struggling with their singleness, they need to hear that God knows what they're going through, that he intimately cares about them, and that he's sovereign and that he can be trusted. Not just, just try harder, you know, make yourself a better person, and then it'll be great. That is not true, okay? We don't need to say that to people. And you know, I'm speaking to myself. I want to do better about um faithfully loving with gospel truth, the the single people, the single brothers and sisters in this church. Because anything else is going to either lead to believing lies or it's gonna lead to despair. Now, uh, before we end, there's this image and this phrase that I know probably everyone in the room has heard. It goes like this someone's trying to share with somebody else like their great need for Christ, their great need for God, which is an awesome truth that we all um, by God's grace, will be sharing with our with our neighbors, with our friends, that they have an incredible need for God, right? But one of the ways that we sometimes say this is you have a God-shaped hole in your heart, and it needs to be filled, okay? And once that God-shaped hole in your heart is filled, it'll all be good. Now, on the one hand, like I kind of get the sentiment, it's like everyone has this utter need for Jesus, and that without him, like our life is going to be devoid of the richest meaning. It's gonna be devoid of joy and forgiveness. But the only problem with that is that Jesus doesn't come into our life to like be the final missing piece. You know, we have a great job and a great house or whatever, and you know, we have a spouse that rhymed, that was unintentional. Um, and then it's like, add Jesus, just add Jesus, and everything is gonna be great, okay? Jesus is not a part of our life, okay? He's not the missing piece. Jesus is everything. It is all about Him. He is the source of all restoration, redemption, freedom, purpose, joy, and comfort. He's everything. Our heart, our contentment, our peace is not this series of cranks and levers that we turn until we get it in just the right place, and then finally our heart will experience peace. Okay, adjust the job a little bit, slight salary thing, have one more kid. Okay, now we're there, right? Oh, and Jesus. We fit Jesus in there, and now we're finally content. That's not the way our heart works. There's not a checklist of things to accomplish before we're content. If you're single, marriage is not going to solve all your problems. And if you're married, being single again won't solve yours either. Because the problem does not lie there, because contentment is found in Christ, not in our situation, not in our life situation. That's why Paul says, I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. In whatever situation, whether you have nothing or everything, whether you're healthy or sick, whether you're single or married, it is possible in Christ to be completely content. And it's only in Christ that that is possible. Married or single, are both great, right? It's okay to be both. They can both glorify God. They can you can be content in both situations by the power of Christ. And we want to affirm our married people in this room and to fight for your marriage, and for our single people in this room, we want to fight for you to glorify God in your singleness. And also, if you're seeking marriage, to fight for you and pray for you that you will find a God-honoring spouse. Okay? Because the fight is not to achieve a certain life situation, the fight is to believe the gospel and to put your trust in Jesus in whatever situation you find yourself in. Amen. Love you, church. Um, I'm gonna pray for us and we're gonna continue to worship together. Father God, we thank you for um your love for us, that we can know you are trustworthy, that you can be trusted, that your heart for us is good because uh you bled and died through us, that we might be your people. God, when we don't understand why uh certain things in our life are so hard, or certain things are so difficult, or why this is happening to us, God help us by your spirit to trust your heart. Help us to remember the cross of Jesus, that you have loved us faithfully to the end, God, and you can be trusted. So, God, if we're struggling in this room with our singleness or with our sexuality, God help us lay that at the foot of your cross and trust in you, Jesus. Pray that in your name. Amen.