How Your Brain Keeps You Stuck in Reaction Mode | Alison Answers How To Crush Mediocrity

This episode is about something I believe quietly destroys more lives than most people realize.

It is not always trauma.
It is not always failure.
It is not always lack of opportunity.

Sometimes, it is our unconscious reaction to everything.

In this solo episode of Alison Answers, I’m talking about the difference between reacting to life and intentionally creating it.

Because so many of us think we are thinking things through, but what we are really doing is reacting.

I share insights from my book The Wake Up Call and walk through how we move from reaction mode into creation.

In this episode, I talk about:

- Why most people are reacting more than they realize
- Why worry is a form of visualization
- How your brain prepares your body for what you repeatedly focus on
- Why fear can start to feel like wisdom
- How hypervigilance trains the brain to search for danger
- Why calm can feel unsafe when your nervous system is used to chaos
- How language shapes identity
- Why mediocrity is so expensive
- How repeated thoughts become practiced identity
- Why creation requires action, not just wishful thinking
- How to stop rehearsing fear and start creating the life you actually want

If you have been feeling anxious, tired, stuck, uninspired, or like you are constantly reacting to life instead of leading it, I want this episode to be a wake-up call.

Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:58 Stop reacting and start creating
02:41 The thing quietly destroying people’s lives
03:28 Thinking vs reacting
04:18 Old programming, fear, and childhood conditioning
05:21 Rehearsing disaster and worst-case scenarios
06:40 A tool to calm the body and interrupt reaction
08:26 Reacting to life vs creating it intentionally
09:03 Rehearsed fear vs rehearsed future
10:03 Worry is visualization
11:18 What world is your brain preparing you for?
12:33 How focus strengthens neural pathways
12:57 Hypervigilance and searching for danger
15:08 When rehearsed fear starts to feel like wisdom
17:06 Why people become addicted to reaction
18:53 Why calm can feel unsafe
20:09 Creation requires presence
21:55 Letting go of struggle and seeking wisdom
22:21 Why society rewards mediocrity
23:49 Wanting more does not make you shallow
26:14 How people slowly settle for less
27:47 The real cost of mediocrity
30:01 Identity is built through repetition
30:51 Why language matters
31:55 How to interrupt painful identity patterns
33:30 Creation requires action
35:08 Life is built one thought, one feeling, one breath at a time
37:08 The inherited story vs the consciously created story
38:11 Are you reacting or creating?
39:24 Take charge of your life
39:51 Closing message and how to support the podcast

Connect with Alison:

• Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling
• Website: LagerCounseling.com
• YouTube: Alison Answers
• Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac
• Purchase Alison’s book: “The Wake Up Call”
• Alison Answers Facebook Group: Join HERE
• Women of Excellence FB group: Join HERE

⚠️ Crisis Resources:
Lager Counseling Services
Call: 516-221-2123
Text: (914) 363-0381
Wantagh: 3408 Park Ave. Wantagh, NY 11793

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Call or text 988 | Visit 988lifeline.org

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

We're gonna talk about this thing that's destroying people's lives, including mine. It's not trauma, it's not failures, it's not a lack of opportunity, it's not anything really but our unconscious reaction to everything. I think most people believe that they're thinking, but what they're actually doing is they are reacting. We replay painful conversations. And there's no one on here who hasn't done that. Worry is visualization. So whatever you're thinking about, your brain, your body is getting ready and is determining how to protect you and prepare you for what you're imagining. Reaction mode feels productive to people. So society often rewards mediocrity more than greatness. Mediocrity is very expensive. It costs you your life, your excitement, your enthusiasm, your joy, your sparks, and even the hard times. And eventually every person really has to decide this. Am I going to spend my life reacting or am I going to create it? Hey guys, how are you today? It is Allison from Allison Answers and Lager Counseling Services. I want to talk to you guys today about something that's very dear to my heart. And it's about we have to really stop, all of us. And I'm speaking to myself always as well. When I talk to you guys, I'm talking to me. So the bottom line is we need to stop reacting and start creating. And I don't want you to think about reacting in the way that we normally think of reacting. We normally think of that as like, oh my gosh, and reacting to all these different events, that is reaction. But I'm going to talk about other things that we may not classify as reaction, but it's literally destroying our lives. And if we can be proactive in the transformation of our lives and our outcomes, why not do it? So I'm going to give you five very, very clear points about how you can actually create the life that you love. And this actually comes from my book. And the book is, I just happen to have it right here. It's called The Wake U Call. And it's an interactive read for building the life you want. And I'm going into chapter eight and I'm just summarizing it because I think that it's really valuable. It's valuable for me. It helps me to go over and read it and to remember this and to be actively involved in the building of my life. And we are really into building all sorts of things. We're going to build the kind of car we want. We're going to build the kind of house we want. We're going to choose the kind of person we want to date. We're going to, you know, consider all the factors, but what about our identity and about the life we really, really want to create? So let's get into this. I'm super into sharing this and I want to get right to the point. So we're going to talk about this thing that's destroying people's lives, including mine. Well, I mean, I'm getting better and better. So that's uh that's good news. So basically, I'm not talking about something, this is something that's like just like behind the scenes, and it's like subtly like chipping away at our lives or halting us from getting to where we want to go. It's not trauma, like most people think. Oh, I have trauma. It's not like failures, it's not a lack of opportunity, it's not the government, right? It's not anything really, but our unconscious reaction to everything. So we're gonna dive in. I think most people believe that they're thinking, but what they're actually doing is they are reacting. We don't realize it. We think that we're thinking things through. We're using our mind to create, but very, very often we're using our mind to rehearse things that are blocking what we want to create. So that's a very important factor here. Most of our uh data then and our decision-making power is about is unconscious, is an other than conscious mind. So it is not what we're doing consciously, it is what is running our whole system behind the scenes. Like, what is the gas in your engine? And that's what you want to really know. What am I using to run this operating system, which is my body, right? What am I using to create? So here we go. I think that most people believe they're thinking, they're not, they're reacting, including me. We're reacting to old programming, we're reacting to fear, we're reacting to our childhood conditioning, we're reacting to old identities that are actually playing out as our current identity. We're reacting to the stories that we've repeated over and over and over again, and they have become true to us. But we never stop to ask, is this actually true? Like when people say, Oh, I'm really not good at math, every time I hear that, I'm like, bullshit, you just created that. You believe that about you, and I'm not gonna fight you about it. But I used to believe I wasn't good at math. And then I said, you know what? Let me try. You know, maybe that's not true. And you know what? I'm pretty damn good at math. Just a thought. Okay. What's fascinating to me is that most people are unintentionally doing this, they're rehearsing this disaster, these kinds of different disasters every day. They visualize the worst case scenario. Like, let me tell you something. The the media, or even if when I just open up my phone, immediately I see some like tragedy, tragedy, and I go to like swipe it away. But this is fueling us to imagine the worst case scenario. A child hit by a car, like, you know, I immediately have a visceral reaction inside my body. I think about the mother, I do all these things. And in my mind, I am visualizing it. I'm thinking about it. Then when we do that, it kind of gets sticky on our own life. Oh my God, you know, I'm a mom, suppose that ever happened to me, blah, blah, blah you know, that whole thing. So let's just, even when I start to talk about it, I can feel it in my body. So, like, what we'll do is like we replay painful conversations. And there's no one on here who hasn't done that. I mean, I probably just did that yesterday. I'm just not kidding, you know. We like anticipate rejection. Who here hasn't anticipated rejection? That is visualizing, that is creating, it is building out something in our mind, in our body, in our feelings. If we think, if we anticipate rejection, we're feeling that on some level. The we mentally prepare for betrayal, failure, disappointment, illness, abandonment, right? We don't even know we're doing it. See what I just did? When I start to get revved up and think about these kinds of things, I can tell that I'm not breathing. A very, very helpful tool, and I'm kind of stopping my rant for a moment. A helpful tool is to notice if you're breathing and slow everything down. Because more reality, more um, I hate to use the word reality, but more genuine ability to recognize a lack of truth comes when we calm our body down. So just want to throw that out there because I noticed it. We breathe, right? We don't want to be preparing for things that we just because we're afraid. Um, we wonder, like after like we're mentally preparing for all these things and social media or whatever, the news is telling us what's about to happen. This is what happened. So now you have evidence for what is going to happen. So now everybody get in line, stand in line, and be afraid. Okay. Here. Now this just happened. Okay. Everybody gather around. Isn't that scary? Oh, that means it could happen to you. Oh, get in line. Everybody, listen up, put on your listening ears. That means that it could happen to you. Oh, it's probably right around the bend. So you better prepare for that. What do you think of that? Do you want to be a puppet? Let's stop being puppets, okay? And let's not expect other people to be puppets either. So the thing we we wonder now why we feel anxious, why we feel exhausted, why we feel stuck, overwhelmed, like uninspired, or even like down or depressed or like disconnected from like the joy, the spark of life that's in all of us, that's really there. Okay, so this episode is entirely about the difference between reacting to life and creating it intentionally. You know, we hear all this. You know, I'm an intentional dater, I'm intentional about this, I'm intentional about that. But what does it actually mean? That means I'm in charge. That means I'm taking the rings back of my life. That means that social media, that means that the news, that means that you, you, you, and you don't determine my identity and how I foresee, forecast, and create my future. Okay. So point one, our brain does not know the difference between a rehearsed fear, which all of us have. Don't say you don't have it, because you do. Uh, a rehearsed fear and a rehearsed future. So it doesn't know the difference. Understand that. So we think a lot of times people like, you know, it's getting better and better, but a lot of times people will think that somebody's sitting under a tree and they're like, you know, doing this, you know, and visualizing, and it's like a fluffy like concept, self-help concept. No, it's actual science and it's creative. So what's interesting is that most people are already visualizing, they're already doing it all day long. All of us are visualizing all day long. They're visualizing typically, and I shouldn't say they, we are visualizing fear instead of desire. So it's not normal to for most people to be visualizing desire. I visualize desire. Do you visualize desire? I love doing that. I do it all the time. But worry is visualization and it's supported by our society. If you're if you worry, you're a good mom. If you don't worry, you're a bad mom. Think about that. That's crazy, isn't it? Okay. Rumination, when we ruminate, it's like this repeated thing, it's rehearsal. You're rehearsing. You're you're transforming, you're teaching your body, you're changing the molecules in your brain as you're rehearsing this. Fear is mental imagery. You know, you don't think of it that way, but that's exactly what it is. Your nervous system is responding to this thing that you hear about this tragedy over here, or this, you know, this unbelievable, sensationalized, terrible thing that's happened to a family or to whoever, right? And then you think our bodies are not reacting to that. They are. So here we go. Our brain is constantly asking us this beautiful question: what world should I prepare this person for? Think about it. When your brain, your brain is asking you, how should I prepare Allison? How should I prepare any one of you who are listening? How should I prepare her or him to what's happening right now? So whatever you're thinking about, your brain, your body is getting ready and is determining how to protect you and prepare you for what you're imagining, the worry, blah, blah, blah. So are you, are you rehearsing? Are you preparing for scarcity, for danger, for failure, for rejection, for abandonment, for hurt, for um getting fired, you know? Or you or are you being prepared by your brain for expansion, for connection, for health, for love, for purpose, for the best thing that could ever happen to you today? Are you prepared? Is your brain considering preparing you for that today? Wouldn't that be cool if it was? Right? Our brain is adapting to what it's repeatedly, what we repeatedly focus on. Think about it. What are you focusing on? And you know, we all we all slip and fall back. Like I can notice, like, like at the end of a week, I'm like, wow, what was I really thinking about a lot this week? You will notice if you're very tired. You notice if you intentionally drive the thoughts, drive the feelings in the direction that they need to go in order to create what you need to create. Yes? Okay, so the brain is adapting to what we repeatedly focus on. Our neural pathways are strengthening through repetition. This is important to know. This is happening inside of your body, just like you're lifting weights. If you keep lifting a weight over and over again, something good is gonna happen if you want that, right? Hypervigilance literally trains the brain to search for danger. So I grew up in a home that I'm not gonna like go segue on all down that path, but I became a very hyper-vigilant person where I scanned every room. I knew it was happening around me at all times. I'm kind of still a little bit, I'm still like that, where I'm gonna, I know that I can tell what's happening in this room and any potential threat or danger because when I was growing up, I did not believe that someone would be able to do that for me. Whether they could or not does not matter. What mattered to me is that I didn't, I wasn't certain of it, so I created it myself. So we we create this thing with hypervigilance and it's a training ground, right? To search for danger. This is why people like can walk into a beautiful moment, think about it, they can work and only see what might go wrong, right? Think about it. I used, I remember being in a place and it was beautiful. I think it was some like show or something, because I used to go to Broadway shows with my family because my dad did scenery. And I remember like there was I look up and it was beautiful. There's this huge chandelier. It was like the size of a house. I mean, the chandelier was huge, and all I could think about was, oh my God, suppose this falls. And I was a little kid. Suppose this falls on us. I didn't tell an adult that I felt that way. But my point is that my body was reacting to that visualized experience in my mind and in my body that was feeling that. Suppose it does. What would I do? Looking at the doors, where's the exits, right? Okay, the nervous session, the nervous system that we have is conditioned for survival instead of creation, right? So, and I think it's important. I think it's super important that we know that. You know, like knowing this and acting upon it and using like you're not gonna get a car and hop in it if you don't know how to operate it. Well, I mean, actually, I've done that. But, you know, we're driving around in this body. It would be really smart to understand it, understand how it operates, understand how it's gonna the best conditions to produce the best results with this machine that we're using, right? So if you rehearse fear long enough, you know, it's eventually it starts to feel like wisdom. And um, you'll hear people say, Oh no, you know, you really have to be concerned about this. And I'm like, oh, really? It's just like you better be concerned about this because this, my dear, is wisdom. It's discernment. And what I've discovered, and I I bought that live for quite a many years, you know, and what I recognize is that the wisdom that I needed to cultivate was that I needed to develop myself into a person, expand myself into a person enough that I trusted myself, that I knew that whatever was happening outside of me, that I, even if a bad thing happened, that I could trust the wisdom that I'm cultivating in order to, you know, go in a different direction or do the thing that is going to create safety. So you don't have to feel as afraid when you trust that you've built yourself into a calm, you know, composed person who's not going to live in reaction. One of the things I have asked people who have suffered with fear, you know, as in a counseling setting, is do you feel you would make a better decision, you know, frantic or terrified? Or do you think you would be able to make a better decision grounded, breathing slower, and act in a more productive way when there's a crisis? Most people would agree that you, if you're grounded and you're calm and you can see things around you without panicking, moving quickly, and all of that, you're better able to manage a difficult situation, all situations. It doesn't have to be a crisis. It could just be an argument with someone, right? That you're not jumping to do anything. Point two, many people are addicted to reaction. So we become chemically addicted to the feelings that we feel the most. And our body works on routine and habit stacking, and our bodies will definitely habit stack the way that they're programmed. So this is something that I see constantly, right? Reaction mode feels productive to people. It feels like, especially like high-functioning people, which I am, hypervigilance can get masquerade as intelligence, right? You know, you got to watch out for that. It's just like be scared. Or you're not, or you know, you're not wise. Um, if I stop worrying, these are the thoughts. Some people genuinely believe if I stop worrying, I lose control. People believe that if I don't worry about my kids, something bad will happen. So what that means is that they haven't developed a trust in themselves to be calmly able to, without rehearsing negative things, that they wouldn't be prepared to handle something negative, but it's actually not true. So many people, like as we know, like many, many people have grown up in chaos, you know, um, where it's stress was normal. I mean, that I think a lot of our culture has that. Stress is rehearsed and normal, and it's just part of life for people who are growing up. These poor children are growing up with that. Chaos is normal, walking on eggshells is normal because you have to please your parents, you have to please society, you cannot be genuine and authentic, or you'll be shunned. So it's like that's a lot of it. And now, like peace, you know, really feels foreign, but people don't recognize that that's actually what's happening. Stillness feels unsafe, right? These are the things that we're facing in our culture. Some people do not feel safe in calm, right? Their nervous system has learned that if I relax, something bad will happen. You know, I have to be, you know, ready or something bad will happen. Just stop and breathe on that. Just take a moment. Ask yourself the question like, what does my nervous system believe? Do I believe that if I stop, you know, if I'm calm, you know, something bad will happen. Because of that, like we stay mentally activated all day long. We stay in this high beta brainwave, which is a high stress mode, which is not good for our bodies, it's not good for our relationships, it's not good for our, I mean, for a period of time, it could build out some success, but you know, by the end of building out this success or the continuation of building this success, you could be sick physically. So, like, you know, we want to think about if you're activated all day long, you're scanning, you're preparing, you're anticipating, you're managing, you're controlling, you know, but creation, which is really super cool, it requires presence. It requires head, heart, feet, all in the same spot, right? Think about it. Just breathe about it, feel about it, don't just think about it. You know, like like Einstein says that, you know, the thing that we try to use, don't use the same thinking that created the problem in the first place. So one of the things that I do, side note, is I instead of when I'm feeling anything, stress or any like difficulty or of a problem outside of myself, I stop. And my first, you know, inclination is to go into my mind because I think I'm so smart and I'm gonna solve it with my mind. And then I say, you know what? You're ruminating, you're rehearsing this, and it's not helping you. It's the same thinking that got you here. So then what I'll do is I'll breathe and I'll center in. We have we have other brains in our body. We have a brain here in our heart, we have a brain in our gut too. So, what I'll do is I'll ask myself, where do I feel this in my body? Usually I feel it in my solar plexus. That's where my that's where my trouble is. So I will go in and I will just go into that area and I will seek wisdom. Not from my mind, you know, not from but wisdom, divine wisdom. I seek wisdom. I'm a person of faith, so I'll seek wisdom from the Holy Spirit or my highest self that God has built in me, you know, in the little apple seed that has all that data in there, that we, you know, we have that, those, those instructions inside our body to build out into this magnificent thing. And many of us don't utilize that. So I go in, I let go, I surrender, I breathe into it like you would a painful thing, like in yoga, something that's like difficult. Instead of fighting it and resisting it, whatever we struggle against owns us. So you want to just let it go. And it doesn't, you just, and that's not irresponsible. That's wisdom. That's you know, we we we want to flow with our difficulties so that then we can allow goodness to come in and wisdom to come in. We don't have to struggle against it. Whatever we struggle against is just a mess. It just owns us, right? So point three society often rewards mediocrity. I mean, this podcast originally is about how to crush mediocrity. That is my goal. Like, let's crush this. And mediocrity, you know, crushing mediocrity doesn't mean like you are like in this striving crazy machine. It means that you're effective, that you're creating, that you're using real wisdom instead of like chaotic, you know, frightened wisdom or whatever you want to call that. So society often rewards mediocrity more than greatness, right? Think about, you know, how much are we encouraged towards greatness? You know, it sounds controversial, right? But like I deeply believe that we've been conditioned to stay like average. Like if the crowd is going that way, I'm going this way. Like I've always like, I'm like, I don't know. That doesn't seem like how come everybody's going that way? That's boring. So now people are often shamed, like for wanting, like for wanting more, for wanting beauty, you know, wanting wealth, wanting impact, wanting freedom, wanting extra an extraordinary relationship. We're supposed to settle because you know, you can't ask for too much. You shouldn't want everything in a relationship. Like, why the F not? Like, why not? Okay. Side note relationships. That's what I'm gonna bring up on my next podcast, but wanting a meaningful life. People will be like, isn't that enough for you? No, actually, it's not. Because I'm continuing to build my life every day, every day. I'm building it. I'm not striving, I'm not struggling. That's a belief. That's a that's a belief I don't believe in, actually. I can fall into it. But the truth is is that the natural pattern of growth and expansion and evolution and creation with us as human beings is a magnificent, adventurous ride where you can continue to have one degree better every single day, right? It's beautiful. So we're taught that greatness is arrogance, right? That the ambition is selfish. Like think of the logic on that. So I'm I have an ambition to create and to get more and more successful. I believe success is my obligation. I'm gonna be on this earth. Why the hell would I not do everything I can to succeed as a person? How have we been so duped to believe that success is selfishness or ambition is selfishness? Because we have written out a story that somebody who is successful only cares about themselves or money or they don't care about their children or their spouses, that does happen, but that is not the definition of success, right? So think about it. So ambition is selfishness, that wanting a beautiful life somehow makes you shallow. Like, what is shallow about wanting beauty around you and success and comfort and and beautiful things? Like there's nothing shallow about it. Like, couldn't you want that for everyone? Look at the beautiful earth that God created, the the the universe, the multiple billions and trillions and gazillion universes that are all created around us is nothing but beauty. Nothing. Like, how come we wouldn't be drawn to it? We're drawn towards aesthetics, right? So I think mediocrity has become completely normalized and we're conditioned. The abnormal has become normal. It's like putting a frog in, which I don't do, and I don't support anyone who would do this. Putting a frog in boiling water, they're not gonna go in it, right? You put a frog in cold water and you put it on low, that little sucker is gonna stay in there till it boils to death. And I believe that that's what people are doing with their mediocrity, that people believe it. This is what I have to do. This is the path I have to take on my life. People marry people they don't want to marry. They go to school and build debt and careers they don't even want, right? People live with people they don't want to live with, they do things they don't want to do, they say yes when they mean no. There is such a huge, like, I don't know what I would call it, propaganda toward lies. Lying about who we are, lying about our greatness, lying about who we can become, lying about who we want to become, lying about who we want to love, lying about how we want to live our lives. We're taught from the day we're born to sell ourselves short and not on my watch. You know, the average, you know, it get often becomes rewarded because it makes people feel comfortable, like, you know, oh, you just followed that nice path all along the way, and like, you know, you got to retirement and now what? People project their own limitations, right, onto others constantly. I'm like, no, don't you cast that spell on me. No limitations over here, right? Families do this to one another, society does this, friend groups do this, right? If you start dreaming bigger and suddenly people will call you unrealistic. Not me. I'm gonna call you fantastic for dreaming as big as you can because if it comes to you, it's for you, right? You know, mediocrity is very expensive. I just really want you to know that it's very expensive. It costs you your life, your excitement, your enthusiasm, your joy, your sparks, and even the hard times. It costs you that too. Yeah, you can play it safe and you're not gonna have really like tragic things. Maybe. Well, maybe you still will. But you know what? I don't know. Those things come along and they really help us to have a quantum leap, these really difficult times, if we'll allow it. It costs you your actual life, and I mean it. I sit with people all the time who unconsciously, like regularly rehearse their limitations for decades, like an entire life. I have watched people go to their grave with their limitations, wanting things that they never ever believed they could have. This is just who I am, is what they'll say. Nothing ever works for me. Um, life is hard. You know, people always leave. I'll never have that. And eventually that story becomes their identity, right? So if life is hard and you believe that life is hard, it you bet you're damn bippy it's gonna be hard. If you believe that, you know, you know, I tell myself, you know, everything works out for me. I believe it. I find favor everywhere I go with God and man. God, how can I be of best service to you and man today? You know, and if something work doesn't work out well, and believe me, things don't work out well in my life, as you have all witnessed, I have had so many bad things happen in my life. But I look at them as like, wow, what how come this is here now? What is it? What am I going to extract from this difficulty? As hard as this is, what am I gonna get from this? What am I gonna learn from this? How can I be a better person? How can I, you know, what needs to be burned out of me? What needs to be built in me during this period of time? You hear me? I'm not a victim of you, I'm not a victim of that, I'm not a victim of society, I'm not a victim of the circumstances or the way things worked out. I am the master of my destiny. It's my choice, and it's your choice. Point four, your identity is built through reputation. I think this is one of the most important concepts, like in psychology, is that like identity is not just discovered. It's not like, oh, this is who you are. No, this is what's been built, this is what's been practiced. Most people are unconsciously practicing their identity every day. It's incredible. I'm overwhelmed, I'm anxious, I'm not good enough, I always struggle, I never finish things, I attract the wrong people. I'm behind. Repeated enough, the body starts embodying this story, this identity, this belief. I'm telling you, this is real, and I do it too. We all have to be awake and aware in the now without judging ourselves, right? In order to recreate the life we want. Language matters. The language you use matters. It is very important. I have a whole chapter in my book on semantics, the power of the word. Stories matter. You know, a story is just a bunch of words put together, a bunch of different thoughts in our mind put together that creates this visualization, this whole outpictured story that then we believe is true because we've watched it enough times, we've felt it enough times, we've experienced it enough times, right? The brain becomes efficient at what it practices. What we practice, we get good at. That's the way it is, right? Repetition matters. That is why I always talk about operationally defining terms. I mean, over here at Lager Counseling Services, I'm sure they're all like, oh dear Jesus, she's gonna say this again. Someone says a word, I'm like, could you operationally define that term? I need to know what you mean by that term, right? It's important. So, like, this is the thing. We would need to be paying attention to the language that we use. I like to pay attention to the language that other people use. I always listen to the first three words of everybody's sentence. I you can tell what's happening in the first three words of most sentences. Many people are neurologically rehearsing the same painful identity over and over again. And at some point, the creation begins to take over. It begins like if when if you want to interrupt this, you want to be creating something that interrupts this, that disrupts it. But you have to see it first because nothing changes until it becomes what it is. When you stop automatically agreeing, you know, with every thought that enters your mind and understand, like, oh, that's an ugly thought. And do I actually maybe this terrible thing happened on the news, but what is the value of me taking it in and then transmuting it into some scenario in my own mind about me, and so that I can feel something for them. And now it is actually infused in different cells of my body. Instead of saying, Oh my God, I pray now and I and I cast that off and I surround that whole situation with a golden white light of God's love. And let's move on because I'm not saving that person, right? So at some point we have to stop automatically agreeing with all those thoughts, like I said. And when you realize I do not have to continue practicing this version of me. Point five, creation is not a delusion. It requires action. It's not like, oh, I hope for, I wish for, I want to. You know, I it's I want to make this, I want to make this so clear to you that it's not ever unclear. That you remember not to forget this. Okay. This is not about pretending that problems don't exist. Okay. Problems exist. They are there. It's not like toxic positivity. I hate that. I never liked that. Anything that's not genuine, just don't be a part of. Visualization without action becomes like it's just fantasy, you know? So, but action without vision, just like it's you're you end up just like rehearsing like this survival mode. You know, I'm a survivor. How about I'm a winner? How about, yes, I moved through that. I experienced it, it hurt like hell. I every day I processed it, moved through it, and now I am a winner. Consider it, right? The goal is alignment, right? It's um, it's not about survival. We want to align ourselves with our vision. We want, you know, our nervous system, our language, and our behavior all to be aligned with the the beauty and the identity and the success and the the joy that our lives could be. Like, why not make the most of it? You're given something. We're giving this precious life. That's what it's about here. Our environment, you know, our environment, our choices, our future isn't built with like one giant moment. It's built one thought, one feeling, one moment, one breath every step. It's built repeatedly with daily agreements. Like, what do I agree to? Like daily agreements of the identity that I'm committed to. So I have committed myself to an identity that I want to build out throughout the rest of my life until the last breath I take and I will not stop. There is no one who notices mistakes that I make more than me. So once a mistake is made by me, usually it's a mistake, not like um a mistake built-in like strategy or anything like that. It's a to me, a mistake is when I've done something in a relationship. I didn't like the way I handled it. I'm not focused on what someone did to me, even if they did it. I'm focused on what did I just, what is that? This little micro experience, how would I have liked to handle that a little better next time? And now I'm building what I focus on. I'm building out the identity I believe in, the identity that God created me. And you know, remember I said about that appleseed, all that, all those instructions that have been put in us, that God put inside of us to become whoever we're meant to be, right? We want, we don't want to deviate from that, right? So I think people underestimate the daily shifts that would incredibly change their lives, what they focus on, what they consume, what we rehearse, what we tolerate, what we surround ourselves with, the people we surround ourselves, how we settle, you know, what you repeatedly say yes to, all of that matters, right? Then really there's two stories. So the story that we inherited, or and also we inherited one and then we built on it. You know, we had that foundation, we built on it. And then, like the story that we consciously create, we make a we make a commitment to ourselves. Everybody's, you know, like, oh, I got to get married and I gotta make that decision, I gotta commit to that person. How about you commit to yourself and creating the version of you that would find the most beautiful soul to marry? I'm saying that to younger people who who are single, but I'm also saying it to any age. Like, build out that person that you are build yourself to be the woman or the man that that person would marry or that you would want to marry, right? So the thing is here, we have these two stories we build, and then we're gonna close. So it's a story we inherited, right? And then it's a story that we intentionally, consciously create, right? One's built from fear, right? Resentment, all that other stuff. The other is built with intention. It's, you know, focused intention. And eventually every person really has to decide this. Am I going to spend my life reacting or am I going to create it? Am I going to be a creator? Um, because creation is our birthright. We're co-creators here. We've been given an opportunity, you know, to create. You know, it's not like perfectionism, it's not control, it's not endless hyper-vigilance, it's creation, right? That's what it is. So ask big, visualize it, feel it, and then become the kind of person who can actually hold it, be that person who can hold it. You know, how what do I have to learn? How do I have to do it? Like I remember I would always be like, I want all this money. But then it suddenly dawned on me, why don't I learn how to manage money? So then I just dove in and I still do it. What is it? I do if I don't understand a term, if I don't understand how to read a PL sheet, if I don't understand certain things about finances, I'm going to study it. I'm going to be the person who can hold it, right? So I can be, I can, I can manage it well and I can magnify it well and I can majestically, I can share it, you know, in a way that's wise. Yes? Our life follows the direction of repeated focus. And maybe the greatest act right now of personal freedom for you, for me, it's deciding to no longer live, you know, in this reaction mode and take charge of our lives. That's what my whole book is about. Just take control of your life. Don't judge yourself, just make it happen. Yes. So I love you guys. I do ask that you would subscribe, like, and share. Only if you believe that this would be helpful to someone else. I would really love to ask the favor, please. If you get any value of this, if you could just please subscribe and leave comments. I love to answer comments. Like, subscribe in my YouTube because my YouTube, I'm like top 3% globally. No one would even know that about my podcast, but listen notes shows that that, you know, I have like a wide audience, but my um YouTube, where you can visualize it, you can see me talking in there. Um, I don't have a lot of um subscribers. So if you could do that, it doesn't match what who's listening. So if you could just get on there, subscribe, it really would help me to be able to do more with my podcast than I'm already doing. And remember, please, that I do not monetize this podcast. This podcast is solely so I can share as much as I have inside of me so I don't take it to my grave and leave it there where no one can utilize the things that I've learned and grown from. I have studied under the most amazing people. I've been working in the field of psychology, neuroscience, quantum physics for my whole adult life. I've had a business for, I have a business for 32 years. So like please, please, you know, any wisdom or any mistakes I've made, which there's a lot of them, that I can share with you that can enhance your life. I just ask that if you could just give me a like, you know, share it, and also, you know, um share my Instagram and um my Facebook, Allison Answers and Logger Counseling. Love you guys. Love you. Bye. See you soon.