What To Do When You Feel Discouraged

We all have moments where we don’t feel like ourselves.

In this episode of Alison Answers, I’m talking about discouragement, why it can quietly build over time, and what to do when your mind starts focusing more on what’s not working.

If you’ve been feeling off, flat, stuck, or disconnected from yourself, this episode will help you pause, reflect, and take one small step back toward you.

In this episode:
00:00 Intro
00:35 Feeling discouraged
03:29 When you don’t feel like yourself
05:04 What have I stopped doing?
07:35 The habits that keep you grounded
13:00 You don’t need more information
14:18 The power of movement
16:35 Why simple things change your life
17:24 Why your brain focuses on the negative
20:11 Recording your wins
21:40 Why thinking more is not always the answer
23:40 Joy is medicine
27:58 What to ask when you feel discouraged
29:04 Do the next right thing
31:20 Creating new meaning around painful dates
33:05 Dating, discouragement, and staying open

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Text: (914) 363-0381
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The thing that bothered me the most is that I noticed I wasn't thinking the way I normally do. One disappointment can overshadow like 10 of our successes, right? One criticism can drown out a room full of compliments. No matter how many years or times people have said wonderful things about you, how much more are you gonna hone in on that thing that they said that was negative? Many people are trying to think their way out of discouragement when what they really need is just to stop. So if you're discouraged today, don't ask yourself, oh my god, what's wrong with me? What have I stopped doing? Hey guys, how are you today? It is Allison from Allison Answers and Lager Counseling Services. One of the main things I want to talk about today is something that I've been actually going through, and it's about being discouraged. So, what I try to do when I'm about to do a podcast is to really, really hone in on what are the things that happen in my life, because all of us are human, and all of us have stuff that happens in our life that is difficult and upsetting, and it could be a variety of situations, but I try to bring here to this podcast things that were hard for me and maybe possibly the way that I sh I was able to get out of it. And also one of the things, the things that I've noticed by having mentors like Ed Milette in Arate and Andy Frisilla and also Emily Friscilla, they are people who repeatedly are just so open with us about their own discouragement, about times when they want to just fold it all in or they get depressed. And I have to tell you that that is one of the things that has helped me the most because there is no shortage for any of us. And I hate to speak for you, but it would, I would, I don't know if I'd believe you if you said that sometimes when you see someone, you see all this stuff on social media and all the there's so much noise out there with people screaming about success and about how to be happy again and how to all this information that's just we're we're bombarded with that we we forget that people on there, no matter how successful they are, no matter how influential they are, we all it rains on us all. You know, we all have to meet our maker, you know, we all have things that bother us, we all have times. And one of the things that I think is really super cool about our lives and the more research that's done in neuroscience, it proves it. It proves that in our brain, we are all experiencing a voice in our head and on the left side of our brain that's reminding me, right reminding us of struggle and fear and trauma and all our body is a record of memory. And all of us are hearing, you know, that that negative voice. All of us. The thing is, is kind of what we do with it. So today, what I want to talk about is like, you know, why we would feel discouraged and like what we could do about it. I bring to you the tools that I get. I've been a therapist for over, I don't even know how many years now, 33 years running businesses, you know, having a podcast, wrote a book, big deal. Doesn't mean much. But one thing I do know is that having, well, I have read so many books, so many things on psychology, personal development, I am constantly learning. So anything that I have that has helped me, I want to share with you. So it's so, in regard to discouragement, it's this is not about because I read a book or I went to school. It's because I've lived it, right? Because uh recently I noticed like this unusual thing happening to me. I just wasn't feeling myself. Even when I say it, I feel like crying. Something happens inside of me. I just I was feeling more discouraged, more focused on what wasn't working, more focused on my health, more focused on disappointments. And like what caught my attention was it wasn't like the discouragement itself. What caught my attention was that my thinking had changed. And that's the thing that bothered me. That's the thing that was an issue for me. I had different circumstantial things, you know, some health scares, some things going on in my life that were that were felt bigger than me. But that that is not unusual to have different things like that, right? But for me, the thing that bothered me the most is that I noticed I wasn't thinking the way I normally do, with a growth mindset, thinking like always, just always believing like this, things will always get better, things always work out. And I have trained myself and I have gotten evidence of things always working out. And I've trained myself to think that way. And I lost that. I'm I normally like tend to believe things are gonna work, that I'm I'm focused on possibilities, on growth, on solutions, but suddenly I found myself thinking about outcomes, outcomes I didn't want instead of outcomes I did want. And what I noticed is that what I was doing all along is I'm encouraging other people, right? And so I'm looking inward, I'm saying, I have to understand what's happening. What did I stop doing? Right? What's different, right? Because discouragement, it doesn't like appear overnight, right? We think it does, it accumulates. And that's the first point I want to make here for you guys is as one, we're result, we are a result of what we've been doing over the last three to six months. So what I have noticed is that it's not like, and suddenly you might notice it because you feel really rotten, right? But really, there's an accumulation of things we didn't do or things we added in, or people we're hanging out with, or people we're not hanging out with, right? So most people are looking at what how they feel today, right? And assume today's the problem. And I was doing that too, and it's usually not that. What I but what I noticed was who is Allison? Where did Allison go? Where's the Allison that I was building all these years, right? That Allison was gone, was she wasn't gone, thank God, but I had lower energy. I wasn't like my same happy self. I didn't, I wasn't like dying to, you know, I wasn't as social. I didn't, I didn't really want to go and meet anyone. And, you know, what you're feeling today is usually the result, like I said, of what you've repeatedly done over a course of time up until today, right? Or something that you stopped doing for the last several months. When I looked back, I realized I had stopped doing a lot of the things that I normally do that keep me bubbly. You know, and it doesn't, because we're so funny as human beings, we think that the things, we think that, because we're like, okay, cause and effect, like it's immediate. It's not. So I just want to drive that home. So it's not like, oh, what I'm doing right now, yes, we do get some results today of things we're doing right now. But these these results accumulate. They also gain momentum. You know, an object at rest stays at rest, an object, you know, in movement keeps moving. So if you're repeatedly and consistently doing things, right, that develop something in you, and then as you stop, things start to slow down, like the ball that's rolling stops rolling and eventually it kind of slows down and stops. And then it's like, ugh, it's hard to get that ball rolling again. So some of the things I noticed is that I I always read 10 pages of a um life-changing book a day. It could be about business, it could be about um personal development, it could be spirituality, but it's what I noticed I did is that I started taking an easy way out and I started like doing audiobooks, which I love anyhow. I do them anyhow. But there was something about the discipline of sitting down and reading my 10 pages every day. And that's from 75 Hard, right? It's just a habit that I just developed. I noticed that I haven't been doing that. I wasn't consistently reviewing my goals. So one of the habits, routines that I have developed over the years, and you can decide whether you want to do this or not, but it's just something that I do. I believe they have shown that when you hone in, you write down what your goals are, what you want to happen. It could be for that day, which is something different also. It could be for the year, three years, 10 years, wildly, you know, amazing goals, but I wrote my goals every day. And I believe in that. I believe because then you'll have a focus, you know. And then another thing is that I was also and consistently would write affirmations down. Well, what that means is everything that I wanted to be, I said I am. I am consistent. So let's say I wasn't consistent. I would be writing down, I'm consistent, I'm well planned, I'm organized. Anything that I wanted to build out in myself, I started to communicate to myself a declarative statement that this is who I am. And then interestingly, we are very easily convinced of things, and we will then start to over time do the things that align with being organized. And I am a great example of that. I grew up in a completely disorganized home. It was messy, and all I've ever wanted was order and just consistency. And I had such a hard time developing that in my life, in my, you know, my earlier years. And I made a commitment that I'm gonna learn how to be organized and structured and all of that. But the thing that really kicked it off was then when I decided, the I feel like a decision is a power move. When you decide, I have decided that I am organized. You know, that is a declarative statement, it's a command, and it our bodies respond to that. The interesting thing about a decision is that anything that's fighting that in terms of like firing in your brain will, you know, let's say it's like, I'm organized, I'm not organized, I'm organized, I'm not organized, or whatever. I'm gonna do my make my bed, I'm not gonna make my bed. Once the decision is made, I'm a bed maker. Not it's my identity. It's not I'm going to make my bed every day. I am a bed maker, right? I live in, you know, the ease of routine, not, oh, I have to do this, this, and this. It's I am. And I am been developing my my identity. But what I noticed when I started to get some, you know, little health um concerns, I started to identify with, even though I'm such a proponent of not doing that, you know, never saying I am S-I-C-K, you know, I started to notice that I was becoming dulled out by being in environments where, you know, doctors' offices and different things, I started noticing, like, ooh, shoot, like I feel like I'm one of these. And it's very compelling to fall into that as an identity. So I started noticing that. You know, the life we're experiencing today is often a result of all these habits that have been delayed or that that they just kind of slowly faded away, right? One of the things it says in the Bible, and I this is not, I'm gonna butcher that, but it's somewhere in the Bible it says, you know, to to return to your first love. So, like one of the ways I think about that is return to the things that you used to do, like, you know, whatever it is that reading, um, developing yourself, praying, right? So the things you do are today are creating the version of yourself that you're gonna see three or six months down the line, that or a year down the line, or it could even happen in a month. But what you it's very important to remember is that when you find yourself suddenly in this state to ask yourself, hmm, you know what, what's missing? Not what do I gotta do today to feel better or falling into not feeling good. It's it's more like, okay, you know, what what are my what are the what are the things that made me happy? Remember when you were happy before. Remember when life was working before. Another thing is is that sometimes life does not work well. You know, we all we all already know, this is like a number two of this, is that we already know what would improve our lives. So if I said to you, most people, you you don't need more information. Like, you know, what we need is implementation. We need to take actionable steps. So if I asked you right now, which I ask a lot out on my reels and stuff, what are, what is one thing or three things that if you did it today for five minutes, that it would improve your life, every single one of us know the answer to that. So, like for moms out there or dads out there, every person knows that if I took five minutes and I sat on the floor, or I got on the phone, or I looked my child in the eye and had a real five-minute conversation where I listened, I connected, I shared an emotion with them. They shared, they were able to reach me. We all know that that done daily would change lives. We all know it, right? Studies have shown that that parents do not spend, do not spend direct contact of 15 minutes a day with their kid, like honed in. Think about that. What could I do for five minutes today? Another thing that I know, move, you know, if you're having a feeling, move a muscle. You know, the other day I was like, you know what, goodness gracious, I'm feeling down. So I was like, you know what? Let me just do a flow, let me just start stretching, let me start moving my body around, let me, let me, you know, do my hips, let me, let me do some Tai Chi, even though I don't know how to do it. But do you know that within it was probably 45 seconds, I started to feel better, right? We all know that another thing is set an intention for the day. You know, I have decided that this is the way my day is gonna go. People have forgotten, and this is such a I swear it's such a power move. Decision is a power move. I've decided to do this. Intention is a power move. We have forgotten our power. We have forgotten that this is our movie. We are the director, the playwright, we are the ones who decide how this goes. So I'm throwing it out there to you. Is it prayer? Is it meditation? Is it reading? Is it movement? You know, remember, sometimes we forfeit, like by saying, Oh, I should start working out again. No, yes, you should work out every day, but not every day. But anyhow, or how about instead of saying I should do everything, I'm I should do one thing. We can do one, we can do everything today and get nothing done, or we can do one thing today and get one thing done. And every time you get one thing done, you get momentum. And remember, we need, we are uh we are needed by ourselves to be in charge. We are not passive recipients of whatever thought, feeling, behavior, person, place, thing comes our way. Too many people are living like that. So remember, one thing you could do today that changes your life, call someone you love, call someone you haven't spoken to, you know, get some things off your chest, exercise, write goals, gratitude, have a meaningful conversation with your child, with your spouse. What if each person who's married took five minutes to listen and look their spouse in the eye, or notice something daily that you really, really appreciate about them and tell them that one thing, what do you think that would do over time to your relationship? You all know it. The answer usually comes quickly. It's this is like the challenge really isn't knowing. I mean, you all know if the challenge is actually doing it as a discipline. You know, we are um the things that change our life are really surprisingly simple. You know, it's not it's not always dramatic. It's not always like, you know, it doesn't feel like it's really doing anything, but it's this accumulation, the consistency that like it just keeps going and it it it beats like an intensity over time. And it will change your life. I can guarantee it. Our brain is designed, this is another thing, to remember, you know, what's what's gone wrong, what we've done wrong. And it puts so much more weight on that than our successes. And it's important that we know that. Like our brains aren't neutral. You know, we all, you know, our brains have a negativity bias, and we need to remember that the the bad things that happen to us, the the failures we have that are the only way to succeed, it's the only path to success is through failure and discomfort and all of that. It's the only path, right? Know that, please. And what ends up happening is that when we have those experiences, they have take a heavy impact on us, which then can discourage us and keep us from moving forward. So research consistently shows that these negative experiences, right, they carry significantly more weight, more emotions than the positive ones. So once once a disappointment can overshadow shadow like 10 success, one disappointment can overshadow like 10 of our successes, right? One criticism can drown out a room full of compliments. I am the queen of that, you know, like if one I get one insult, not that I'm easily insulted, but think of the power of someone saying something about you, no matter how many years or times people have said wonderful things about you. How much more are you gonna hone in on that thing that they said that was negative? And it's not because like we're broken or there's something wrong with us, or like, oh my God, why am I like that? I'm the queen of saying that. How come I'm like this? It's because our brain does that, right? It looks for threats. So the thing is, is that we have, you know, the left side of our brain is like all the store, it's all stored in there. What's stored is like our, all of our trauma, all of the things that have happened throughout our lifetime, all of our past discouragements, they're all stored there, right? And it's like we're not, that's why it's so important moving into the right brain to mindfulness, to being in the present moment, to, you know, head, heart, feet, all in the same spot. Because when you're in that mode, you can be playful, you can have fun. You don't, you're not, your whole life isn't dictated by past pain. And I noticed that I started projecting into my future some of the experiences that I've recently had and made me not want to try more into my future because unknowingly, I was being influenced by discouragement. You know, we stopped noticing what's good, what's good in our life, right? We one of the most powerful practices I've done is like, and this is something that I also stopped as I would record my wins. Every single night, I would do something where I would write down, you know, what were my wins today? You know, what am I proud of today? And then what would I like to do differently tomorrow? And then my gratitude. So those three things, you know, it's like a 10-step from the 12-step program. It could be any win, big, small, tiny wins, because this is the thing. If if we don't like intentionally remember these things, it's not gonna have as much weight, right? As the negative things. So we're gonna go to bed thinking about, oh, I didn't do this today, you know, I forgot that, I didn't finish this list that I wanted to do. No, write all the things you did do. When I have my employees do that, they're like, wow, I can't believe how much I did today, right? Instead of like feeling like you're all over the place and you don't know what you've done. So this is it's good to understand which part of my brain is running the show, right? Um, when we're discouraged and we're often stuck in like a mode of thinking, the left side of the brain, oh, it's completely useful. We need it because it protects us from like danger and all these other things, and it reminds us of things maybe we shouldn't have done. It helps us to focus and analyze achievement, you know, comparison. It helps us problem solve, planning, all the great stuff, evaluating it's super useful. However, if we're like hyper in our that that part of our brain, it's when it's when it's running just nonstop, this is the problem, I'm telling you. It can pull us into worry, fear, perfectionism, future forecasting, right? Because it has all the information of our entire past, right? Our trauma, our old wounds, right? And the right side of the brain, which is cool, it experiences the present moment, right? It notices beauty, it notices connection, creativity, music, joy, play, wonder, right? Many people are trying to think their way out of. Discouragement when what they really need is just to stop, you know, and experience something like fun and exciting and move away from this linear thinking in the left, right? A conversation, a walk, a moment of gratitude, not rehearsing the problem. Sometimes like healing isn't found like solving another problem. We're always like, oh, how do I fix this? And you know what's interesting that, you know, Einstein says this, you know, we cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that got us there. And I think most of us are doing that. We are like, okay, how can I fix this problem? How can I solve this conflict? Instead of pulling back, breathing, go into your body. We can go into the other parts of our body. We have other brains in our body. We have a you know brain in our heart and our gut. And if we just say, you know what, let me mind, brain, let me give you a few minutes or an hour of just let me not be in there. Let me hone in. That's why meditation is so powerful. Let me shut that part down. Let me allow the wisdom that's inside of my body. Let me allow the wisdom to rise up. And that could be for some people who are Christians, it's the Holy Spirit. For other people, it's just, you know, this like higher self. But remember, like we we have to stop, you know, rehearsing over and over again problems, waking up in the middle of the night. You know, healing very often for me is fully experiencing a moment. Like I could be shopping with my daughter Grace, and like it just like all of a sudden my right brain just kicks in and I'm like, huh, and I'll just start dancing in Target. And it's really just fun. I don't care what other people think, you know, it's like joy is medicine, right? It's not frivolous. We've been we've been duped to believe that being giggling, goofy, being all of those things, you know, that is the most delightful thing we can do for ourselves. And I've I've learned that when I start to feel flat, it is unusual for me, but it has been really coming on strong. And I do believe that when something like that happens, because I was getting discouraged because I'm like, what is happening to my thinking? Why am I thinking so differently from Allison? And what I love about it is that the answer came to me is like, because now, you know, I'm moving, it's another growth spurt. You know, God has given me a heavier weight to lift so I understand other ways to just live more fully in joy, right? It's not someday. It's not like I'm gonna wait. Oh, you know, one day I'll be filled with joy. No, it life is now. This is like life is now, right? Please don't forget that. I need to intentionally create joy when I start. So that's where self-awareness comes in. So we start to notice when we're we're not breathing. We start to notice when, like, oh my God, I don't feel right. I don't feel myself. A lot of people do are not understanding the importance of being aware, being self-aware. It's the key to making our life completely different. It's not later, it's now, it's this moment, the moment I'm in. Like I asked myself in the morning, hey, good morning, Allison. I look in the mirror, I'm like, I love you, whether I feel it or not. I look in the eyes, I say, I love you, Allison. And then I say, What would make you happy today? What I used to say is, I get to choose how I feel today. And today I choose joy, peace, enthusiasm. And I like that too, because I'm choosing it. But I also like to check in, check in with myself and say, hi, hey, Allison, what would make you happy today? When we pose a question to ourselves, our brain starts to work. Questions are phenomenal. And what I will ask myself after that, I'll be like, oh, just today, what would make me happy? And then I start to really think about it. Oh, you know what? What would make me happy? And then I think about it. Oh, if I wore this kind of clothes, or oh, if I got, you know, if I had this kind of interaction, or oh, if I was able to create this sort of thing, not hey, how can I grind today and and push against this thing over and over again? Sometimes it means just singing loudly, like in the car, or my my household is known for like making weird noises. Like everybody, my kids all do it. Everyone does it except for one. I won't say which one. Like all of a sudden you hear somebody scream or like be like, ah, and like make sounds. And I remember I used to think when they were little, I'm like, why'd they do that? I remember Elijah, my son, he would always make these really crazy sounds and he would call names out and it would be like really like crazy, weird. And I remember thinking, wow, I wonder why he does that. And then I realized he got it from me that I was walking around going, I would be screaming out like fake names and just because you know what? Life is joy. Life is what are we protecting ourselves from? Right? Sometimes it's dancing, sometimes it's, and you don't have to be a good dancer. It's just being goofy, childlike, playful, present. Most of adults have become so responsible. Like we've forgotten how to play. But joy is not a reward. Like it's not like, oh, I'm gonna get a I'm gonna experience joy after I'd grind for this amount of time, right? After we've got it all figured out, like then I'm gonna be joyful. Oh my God, life is over by then. Come on. Char joy has to be goofiness, fun, being, you know what? Practice doing stuff that you know people are gonna look at you like you're weird. I actually will push through and say, I'm gonna do this anyhow. Anyhow. If somebody sees me being weird, I'm gonna do it anyhow. And you know what I've found every single time? And I do it a lot. What I have found every time is that people love it. They laugh, they wish they could do it, they wanna be like that. So if you're discouraged today, don't ask yourself, oh my God, what's wrong with me? I mean, I'm just telling you because I do that. What's wrong with me? Why am I thinking of that? Ask questions like, what have I stopped doing? What used to work for me? What simple thing could I do that I already like know that I could do or that I could think that would help me? You know, am I what am I focused on what is great and what I have in my life, or have I shifted into like what I don't have or what's wrong? That shifting into that will take away any sort of joy or peace, and we won't even know it. You know, like what can I do today that brings me back into the present moment? Because the life, like, so much of it, it's like life isn't supposed to be like one giant breakthrough. Like we're always looking for our breakthrough. I spent years, I would say a good 20, looking for some major breakthrough. And it just doesn't happen like that. We build out our day every day. We have on our sign here at Lager Counseling Services. We're in the build business of building happiness. Like we're gonna help you build your damn happiness. You know, what are the small little daily little actions that are repeated that become our future, right? Remember, you don't have to change your whole life today. You don't have to like find out what's wrong with you and make it better. And I'm a therapist. So if I'm saying it, take heed. You know, you only have to do the next right thing. Like, what's the next right thing? What's the next right thing for me? You know, five minutes. Put your timer on, see how long five minutes is. It it can be a little bit of a time, you know? So I want you to really, really think about instead of just falling into, oh, life's hard, it's difficult. There is going to be no shortage of people saying, yeah, you know, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. And that is true. You want to have a full life experience. You don't, it's not like, oh, you should never have feelings. It's just that you want to move through them and you want to understand where they're coming from. So, like just um, I just thought of, because it was my dad's birthday, and my dad died in 2001, and he died 15 days after um September 11th. And that was a really hard time for me. Like I had really little, you know, kids, and it was just a really hard time for me. And I remember, um, so I haven't thought about it. And because one of my kids asked about it. So I was like, and it came to me and I thought of it, and I remembered the circumstances of his death and how they happened. He died on Yom Kippur and uh the whole thing. It's just an incredible story. But what I noticed was that I started to sink into the moment when I was in the wake and I started to like, I remember that feeling, that desperate pain that was I was in. And do you know that it took me right back there? And what I recognized is yes, I could go there and I could live out that terrible feeling right now, or I could just not. And yes, sometimes we have to work through things like that and they have to move through our body if they're like stuck. But in this moment, I was going to fall into this feeling that would keep me in this kind of lower vibrational state that I was working or looking at changing. So just notice there will be things, there will be moments. I just want to throw out to you something. It is another, I just thought of it now, so I'm gonna tell you, and it's very personal to me, but on the date of my husband's death, I knew that the following year, that that date, I knew that date would always carry a feeling with it. And I thought to myself, certainly that feeling is not something I want to bring in on that day every single year for the rest of my life. So, what I started to do is, and my friend sister basically encouraged me, and she would plan things that on that date we would do something that had such a wild impact, something that was very powerful, something that was unique that we've never done before. So, you know, we've each done it on the date. Like we rode, what was it, 40 miles on a bike in Miami? You know, we did um horseback riding on the beach. So instead of allowing that day, the date of the year, to be hijacked by such pain, um, I have been intentionally over the last five years attempting to put something valuable in it that would mark goodness and greatness and happiness, because that would be something I would want to be infused into that day. And also that is an honoring of him. So I would do that as an honor to him each year as well. It would be something internal, and I would always do it with my sister and sometimes my niece and my daughter, and we would really just like honor him. And it was such a beautiful experience because it would be a memory that was wonderful. So that's just a slight suggestion for anyone who has a, you know, a harsh memory. Also, for anybody, I do see this a lot with people who are dating, and you can see everywhere everybody's complaining about the dating world and online dating and all of that. And there can be so much discouragement. But please remember one thing about that. The discouragement in the dating world. Just here's my philosophy. If you're on dating apps, that means you haven't met your person, right? So that means it's gonna be ruling out. So ruling out does mean that you're gonna have a lot of experiences that you don't like because when you have the experience you like, then you're not on them anymore. So the whole experience is supposed to be like that. It's it's an adventurous research, investigation, or openness to something that will be valuable by taking chances and risks instead of then looking at it and going, oh, it sucks. There's no one there. Well, yep, if you think that, then there won't be anyone there. Isn't that true? Like, oh, that wasn't the person. Ah, one more step closer to the person that might be in my life and believing it. That's the pathway. There's so much negativity around that, you know? So that's my side note, throwing it into our culture right now. So I hope you guys have the beautiful rest of your day. Please, please, please like and subscribe to my YouTube, please, because that is where you can see me having these things visually. But it's also something I really um it doesn't represent my followers or my um listeners. So if you could just like and subscribe, leave me comments, I would really, really appreciate it. Also, if you would subscribe to Allison Answers on Instagram, that would be so helpful for me. And leave reviews and uh also Logger Counseling Services. It's Logger Like the Beer, Logger Counseling Services. I have there's um an Instagram there. We also are located in three locations now. We're opening another location and we have a virtual department. So anything like that that you could just comment if you can, if you ask me for anything in regard to that, I will, you know, if you want me to speak about a certain thing, any kind of mental health thing, I'm more than happy to do it. So have a beautiful, blessed day, and I will see you on the flip side.