Healing Broken Relationships

Pastor Jonathan Cargill shares on restoration, reconciliation, and God’s heart for healthy relationships. He unpacks how believers can walk in unity and reflect the love of Christ in the way we treat each other. Forgiveness, peacemaking, and biblical conflict resolution are core to our faith and something we must be intentional about in our everyday lives. 

Our heart at Celebration Church Rarotonga is that this message will greatly bless your walk with Jesus and help bring you closer to Him. We pray that you would be stirred to live a life that is passionate about loving Jesus!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to this week's podcast by Celebration Church Latatoga. We believe this message will empower and equip you to live a life of breakthrough. Thanks for joining us.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

I'm going to share some things this morning. I'm going to try and go a little bit slow through it. I'm going to talk about restoration and reconciliation. And when I'm talking about reconciliation for those accountants here, I'm not talking about reconciling accounts. No, I'm talking about reconciling heart to heart and uh people's lives, church to church, uh, sibling to sibling, marriage partners and uh couples, um, all sorts of things, all sorts of people groups. And I want to talk about that because God is in the business of bringing peace into relationships. The Bible talks about in um, it's Matthew 5, 9, it says, Blessed are the peacemakers. That's from their Beatitudes. And they say that we get a lot of doctrine from that. But blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. So if we want to be called a son of God, blessed are the peacemakers. Now, a peacemaker is not conflict avoidance, but it's someone that advocates for peace. And somebody works together to try and bring harmony and peace. And that's hold and high value before the Lord. Blessed are the peacemakers. I have put my hand up to be a peacemaker, so I want to talk about this. Amen? Okay, so you don't have to get quiet, and uh you can be very happy about this. But Ephesians 4 32, and I do apologize, um Twinkle. Haven't we got cool names in this church, eh? That's awesome. I apologize, Twinkle, because I didn't get to you to give you the scriptures, but I know you're so good that you'll have them up there. How's that? No pressure, but Ephesians, Paul the Apostle writes, Ephesians 4.32, how about this? And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as Christ, or even as God and Christ forgave us. It's a new uh King James version behind us there. Then going to Colossians 3, 12 and 13, therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, tender mercies, kindness again, kindness is the fruit of the spirit, humility, meekness, long suffering, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another. Even as Christ forgave us, so you also must do. Okay, so tenderness is having a soft, compassionate heart towards each other. That's awesome. That's the spirit of the Lord. Forgiveness is releasing offenses because God, because Christ has forgiven us. Then we come into this here. How many of you know how important knowledge is? A lot of people say, well, knowledge is power. And of course, um uh you could say you shall know the truth, which really is talking about Christ and the truth shall bring, shall set you free. But knowledge is important. Everybody wants knowledge to some degree, of course. Uh Daniel said, people are gonna be before the God comes back running to and fro, and knowledge will increase. It also says about knowledge, right? Through the word of God, the keys of knowledge. But knowledge is important, but how about this? 1 Corinthians 8 1 3, a perspective to that is this. Now, concerning things offered to idols, we know that we all have knowledge and understanding. But it says knowledge actually puffs up, so knowledge elevates us, and that's what we're saying, even when we're running our means combined, we're going through the book of James and we're going deep into the word of God, and we're extracting the word of God, we're sharing the ideas, not based on what we think, but based on what we believe the word of God is saying. But the danger with that, alone without the Holy Spirit, is we just become knowledgeable. Now, concerning things offered to idols, we know that we all have knowledge, no knowledge puffs up, but love it edifies, it lifts up, it edifies, it encourages. Love edifies. Ever been loved? You need some more love? Anyone lacking love? Well, it edifies, all right? And if anyone thinks he knows anything, he knows nothing, yet as he ought to know, but if anyone loves God, this one is known by God, and then 1 Corinthians 13 verses 1. Though I speak with tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass, a clinging symbol, though I have great faith and give my body to the flames. Verse 2 of 1 Corinthians 13, verses 2 now. Though I have all faith, so that I could remove a mountain, but do not have love, Paul says, I'm nothing. Well, we're something because everybody has trinsic value, intrinsic value. But what it's saying is by comparison we're nothing, highlighting how powerful love is. I've often said when love is felt, the message is heard. And then it says in 1 Corinthians 13, verses 13, and now abide faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love. Okay? So we understand, we're gonna understand what love means, but on social media today there's a lot of talk about this other word, the opposite word, is called hate, okay, or hate or hater, and uh you'll find it just throwing around in 2026. It's a big term that's used. Let's have a look what the Bible actually says about that. I grew up to think that my mother said to me, she said, hate is such a strong word. If you're gonna use it, you use it strategically, but don't just throw it out like a hate cabbage, all right? You dislike it, but you don't hate it. So when you use that word, you've got to use it properly. So, anyway, let's look at what it means. It's a strong word, but 1 John 2, 9, 10, okay? He who says he is in the light, a born-again Christian, someone that surrendered their lives to Jesus and hates his brother, he's actually in darkness. Well, that's a problem because we're saying, okay, we are in Jesus, yet we hate our Christian brother or sister. We have an issue with them, we'll equalify that in just a moment, then we're actually or all reality in darkness. John the beloved is calling it out, and then he says in 1 John 3:15, whoever hates his brother or sister is actually a murderer or akin to a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. So now we're saying that someone says, I love someone, and they actually hate and despise their brother and sister, is actually walking in darkness and they are akin or likened to murder. Murder is always uh hatred, is always the spirit behind murder. Very important now. Uh, you'll find out why this is important. 1 John 4 20, if someone says, I love God and hates this brother, he's a liar. So one minute we're talking about, okay, I love Jesus and I love people, but the reality of it is something else is going on in our inner world where we're despising people in the body of Christ. We hate somebody else from that other church, we may hate a pastor. I had a woman walking here one time and she said, I'm not going to that church anymore. I hate the pastor. I thought, man, that's a strong term to use. I hate the pastor there. Darkness, murder, and liar. That's just heavy talking. This is uh this is John speaking. Okay, so the Greek word, it's an interesting word. Hear how the Bible, here's how Jesus defines what hatred is. You ready for this? It means you ready? It means to detest someone, to dislike intently, means to reject somebody, to disregard somebody, to love less somebody than what we should, to be antagonistic and hostile to somebody, that defines what hate is, according to the Bible. And the Bible is saying, hey, if we're born-again Christians and we actually have an attitude in our hearts that despises the brothers and sisters, that rejects us, repels them, that disregards them, loves them less, that is that hostile towards them and detests them and dislikes them intently. The Bible calls us out as a liar and we're likened to a murder and we're walking in darkness. It's gone quiet in here. But it's a reality. And I think what's happened today, we've got to get back to the authenticity of what the word of God says, right? So it's not what we say the word of God says, it's what is written in the word of God. Very, very important for us. Uh the the the revelation that we have is we want to be Bible-centered. Only a few months ago, the Lord spoke to me clearly and said, I want you to center fix the church. And uh, in other words, we're going to come back to our first love, the simplicity of our love before the Lord. We're going to love him for everything that he's worth. Passion for Jesus. But let's look by comparison what love means. Love your brother, love thy neighbor. The greatest gift is love. You know what it means? Well, 1 Corinthians 13 explains it to us clearly. Ready? It seeks actually another person's good. Simple. It's patient, and it is actually kind. It does not keep a record of wrong, it rejoices in truth. Don't you love it when truth goes out? It believes and hopes and actually endures. That's what love is by comparison. So interesting, when we got saved, the fruit of the Spirit, the day we got saved, the fruit and the characteristics of Jesus Christ began to birth in our life. And that's why somebody at your work said you were different. What's happened? And they said, Well, actually, shucks, um, well, actually, I'm thinking I've got to get my testimony. Well, okay, um, I've been going to church and I've come to a place where just like you know, and uh, yep, mate, look, I've gone to the church, mate. I got delivered from drugs, got delivered from alcohol. And the first thing that begins to establish in your life is the spirit of compassion. You know what next joy. You know what next is peace, patience, kindness, self-control. These are characteristics, these are the displaying of Jesus' character inside of us, they're the workings of the Holy Spirit, that are the fruit that proves that is the evidence that we've crossed over the line and given our lives to Jesus Christ. Now you'll see I'm not talking about a spat or an incident with somebody, I'm talking about a pattern of prolonged stuff here, okay? So if you've got a problem right now and it's just a going through a little thing, God bless you, you can get over it with the grace of God. We'll talk about how to do that in just a moment. But I'm talking about when it's when it's evident in our lives and it's a long-term issue, God really has an issue with it, okay? Not to say that if we're out of sync with our brother and sister right here and now and it's just a new thing, God doesn't have an issue with it. I'm saying right now we can stitch both up together. In James 4, 1 and 2, just in case we didn't know, where do wars and fights and conflicts and contentions actually come from? Ever wonder where they come from? They come from him. No, they actually come from her. No, no, no, they actually come from our own desires for pleasure, selfish ambition. That war in our members. In other words, there's something that's going on inside of us. The Bible talks about pride causes contention. We're actually wired. You ready for this? We're wired in Christ for righteousness, but our carnal nature, we're actually wired for hostility and contention. We get threatened a lot. How come they're driving that kind of car? Who said they could run the fence that way? Who who he said the government can do this? Well, there's that little thing in us that begins to rise up. It's part of the carnal nature. But here's a running test for us, alright? Here's a running test. The running test goes this way. Do I ultimately desire this person or this group's good before God? Or do I cherish deep down head in resentment and wish them harm or a payback? Should I repeat that? I think I should, eh? Do I desire ultimately this person's good before God? The Bible says, love your enemies. Do good, those persecute you. That is the message of the gospel. See, you see, the LGBTQ community think we hate their guts because you've got some people who have despised them and gone to bat and war, and I'm not talking about anybody in our land, so please don't get any ideas by that. I'm talking about overseas stuff. You'll find that trailing online and giving people a terrible time representing, and then they use the name of Jesus Christ. But no, if you're going to use the name of Jesus Christ, you better live like the name of Jesus Christ, okay? So it's loving, it's loving and compassion. It's like when love is felt, the message is heard. Because you can bring a truth and it could be a cold, hard fact, and it doesn't shift anybody. But I tell you this that when we have the love of Jesus Christ inside of our heart and we love people, we have a Christ-like love for us. We're not full of the judgment, we want the best, even if they would consider us being an enemy, and we begin to do good to those who persecute us, we are sowing seeds of Christ around their life for them to be harvested and them to be born into the kingdom of God. That's the message we have. The message we have, all it comes down to is loving God and loving humanity. I thought I'd just throw that out. Christ-like love does not mean approving of everything or what somebody does or accepting even what they believe, but love seeks redemption, reconciliation wherever possible. Now, how about this? What does the world know about the church? The world views the church. John 13, 35. By this, all will know. Can you say all will know? Now you're gonna sound a little bit more convincing. All will know. Okay, that's everybody that you met at the market yesterday who's not a Christian, they will know that you are a Christian, that I am a Christian, that we are a Christian. They will know that we are the followers of Jesus Christ, we're actually bona fide, authentic disciples of the Messiah. We're following in his footsteps, we're taken on as a project by him, we've crossed the line into salvation, and the Spirit of God abides within us if we have love for each other. Isn't it amazing? I would have thought they would know that we're uh that we're Christians because we feed the poor over to third well, or because we operated intense, miraculous signs and wonders that defied sciences. The incurable were healed. No, no, no, no. It says because our love for each other, what is it, God? What is it but my love for you and your love for me unified like this together? Marriages, husbands and wives, you know, the husband honors the wife, and the wife honors the husband, the wife's not joking about the husband at work, and the husband's not belittling the wife at work, and he honors his wife, he uh she honors her husband. When children honor their parents, where children, where parents do well and empower and enrich their kids, and they see us loving each other right here and right now, that is the witness. That is the seed, that is what gets harvested when we love each other, empower each other, enrich each other, and stand with each other and do good this way here. It's not even talking about this so much. This way here, it stands as a witness, they will know that we are messengers and disciples of Jesus Christ. Huh? Now, here's a twin scripture uh in John 17, 21, that they all may be one, talking about us, one together, unity, oneness, that the world may believe that you sent me. It's the same thing. Now that we love each other and we have the spirit of unity, if you like, we are one together and one mind and one heart, they will know that Christ was sent. This is remarkable. And then I wrote here, and well, actually, David Day uh David, the psalmist wrote it, but I wrote it down here. Psalms 130, uh 133, verses 1, it says this, how beloved, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. Isn't it amazing? There's nothing better for me than me being on the same page as somebody else. I love it. I totally there's a lot that we can do. Two are better than one. When a church is united, when a marriage is united, when you have a husband and wife that are actually on the same page, they are a powerhouse. They've got a great covenant anyway that they've drawn up before God and their hearts before God. But when a husband and a wife are unified, when you and I, brothers together and sisters together, are unified in the things of God, it's amazing how powerful that is. But the Bible says how good it is. Did you know it's actually sweet? There's nothing worse going into a home. And I used to um work for a company one time, and I I worked for one company and I worked for another company late at night. The company at late at night meant that I had to knock on doors, and uh it was had a compactum, and I had a uh you know, suit and tie, and the appointments were made and that. But I walk into this house and it was a project, most of them were pre-sold. I just had to run them through the uh presentation and so forth. But it was really interesting. I would walk into the homes. I you kind of knew the Christian homes, not just because they have crosses on the wall and pictures of Jesus or whatever, that was kind of like, but that was that was that was a good display. But no, there was kind of like more of a peace going down, but it was really sad when the husband wouldn't come out of his room and the wife has been arguing and or the kids wouldn't come out. It's strife and discord in the house, mate. There's nothing better than having the love of Jesus Christ shed abroad, unity. Ah, let's go. It's nothing better than our church being fully unified with another church on the island that's preaching the gospel, vice versa. That's our dream wish, if you like, is all the churches that are preaching the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ will be one heart and one spirit and work together, a common vision. Oh, we're totally committed to it as a celebration church, it's where we want to be going. We've got great relationships with some of them, and there's more coming on, but we want them all. Okay. Now, how about this? Broken relationships. It's horrible. You know, when guys argue with their wives and that they go back into the garage and so forth, we just feel low, man. We just feel shut down, we feel low. If your parents have been yelling at you, and you've been having a contention with mom, we just feel low. When your husband's done something or your wife's done something, we just feel it actually shuts down our emotions. When there's sibling rivalry, it shuts down, it doesn't matter how right we are, it just shuts us down, okay? Families, relatives, siblings, marriages, and so forth, it results where there's misunderstandings, there's contentions, there is disputes, arguments, strivings, or betrayals, or even worse, it results in the depth of pain. Often physical pain, internal hurt, woundings. These are unfortunate realities. But I got some great news. Can you say this morning great news? No, I'm gonna go further than I got some brilliant news. Can you say brilliant news? No, I'm gonna go further than that. I'm gonna say we've got some awesome news going on. I can say that a bit louder. Awesome. Okay, here it is in Revelation 21, verses 4. And God will wipe away. This is coming, this is a coming reality. This is going. Gonna live in this reality as born-again believers in Christ. This is it, right up there behind me, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There shall be no more death. Isn't that incredible? Death is gonna go. Cancer, leukemia, heart disease, premature deaths, old age, it's gonna go. Praise God. Because that's racing us all down. No more pain. How about this? No more sorrow and no more crying. We got any cries in the church. Do we have any cries? People that cry a lot. Come on, people. It could be your time to be humble right now. How many cries do we have? Okay, how many people never cry? Please don't put up your hand right now. That's all God. I'm a crier. Cried this morning, and but I'm I'm a crier. I don't know why I'm like that, but I'm a I'm I'm that. And it's something I pray pretty much every day. I pray, God, give me a soft heart. I want to have the heart that you had. I want to have the heart that you had. I want to be Christ-like. That's the big prayer that I pray. Um, I want to be Christ-like in all my motivations, my attitudes. I want to bring glory to you. Christ-like. And God begins to soften our hearts. But you know it says there's no more crying, no more death, no more sorrow, and no more pain for those that are in him in heaven. Now, Christ, you ready for this? Is the great physician? Right? So he heals our mind, soundness, heals our emotions, because he heals the brokenhearted. The word there in uh Luke 4.18 talks about, you put that up there, uh, Luke 4.18, uh, it talks about a broken heart that actually means a shattered heart, like adultery, that can shatter a heart. Divorce can shatter a heart. Um, you lose an infant or or your husband died a bit earlier, that can shatter your heart, shake your heart, it just can really um shatter it, all of that. But Jesus Christ came to bind up our wounds. He is the great physician, plus some, and he does it with the emphasis of the spirit, he also heals our physical frame, our bodies. So our mind gets restored as part of this gospel message, our emotions get restored, and our physical body gets restored. Resurrection body, but a lot of healing on earth. But right now, when Jesus said that in uh John 10, 10, the thief cometh not but for the steal, to kill, and destroy, but I've come, or I by comparison have come that you might have abundant life or life in its fullness. That is not just talking about when we're with him and when there's a new heavens and earth on earth. No, it's talking about you and I living an abundant life now. So I want you to healing now. It's salvation now, healing now. God wants us to have a renewed mind, a sound mind, a restored mind. He wants our emotions to be completely whole, and that's why we should commit to prayer. God, make me whole. I prayed that for years, going to bed at night time. The last prayer I pray, Lord, help me to be emotionally whole. Drive out the insecurities, drive out the comparisons, drive out the feeling awkward, the self-consciousness and all this. I want you to drive that, break that thing away from me, and help me to be whole before humanity, whole before people, whole in my marriage, before my sons and daughters, uh, uh before before you guys, before whoever it is, I would be whole in a community. Because out of wholeness, Jesus could move through us. We don't have that awkward thing around us. We're not full of those fears or the fear of man or or seeking approval by people all the time and dictated in my life determined by what other people think or what they don't think. No, no, no, no. We want to be emotionally whole and governed by the spirit. Okay, so diving in now, there's two major things. Did you know that Jesus gives you and I, as a great physician, two prescribed methods of restoring a relationship? Now, wherever I go and everywhere we go, and I mean that, it's not an exaggeration, I see broken relationships, tension and relationships. You just have to walk down the supermarket and listen to the way people speak to each other. Families sometimes. But everywhere I go, there's broken relationships. There's nations that are at loggerheads with nations that hate each other's guts. There's people groups, cultural groups, or people groups, different ethnicities, different people groups that hate each other's guts, by and large. That's the work of darkness. Plus, it's cooperation of our flesh life. The territorialism, the bitternesses, the resentments. In counseling, modern modern day in counseling now, they're now talking, and they have been for a few years now, about the power of forgiveness. Because they realize that it works. Okay, the first prescribed method. Remember there's two. And I want you to go to this here. Matthew 18, 15. Sometimes we feel hurt, we feel insulted, we feel wrong. By words, by actions, whether intentional or not. We carry injury, emotional injury, often resentments. It's difficult to process. We begin to see things from the perspective of injustice and our hurt. We look to confirm the worst in others rather than even seeing a reality, and we fail to give people the benefit of the doubt. That's a big one. I learned that tool. I must always give people the benefit of the doubt. The other thing I learned too is not to judge people's motives. That's got that's a God department. It's easy. I read a letter that was sent to a pastor and I was CC'd into it. I I I didn't respond to that letter, I responded to others in that, but I didn't respond to that one because it was emotionally charged, but it was things like this. You did this, the reason why you did this. We all know the reason why you did this, the reason. And I thought, mate, how would you know? Are you God? You're not God. And the spirit of the letter was certainly not Jesus, not God. But I thought, man, we're we're not designed. Every time I judge someone's motives, I'm pretty much 100% wrong. Hey, thank you, brother. We've got an honest soul here. But we're pretty much wrong. I can say, oh, 100% they did this, or 100% I know why. No, we often we don't know why. We think we know why. Sometimes I've done a running check on why I thought why, and spoke to the person, found out it wasn't why. And I thought, well, for 15 minutes or 20 minutes I thought this, and I was horribly wrong. Am I talking to someone this morning? Husbander, I know the reason why you did that. No, no, no, he didn't do it, but that's how we live. And what happens is this we get this bitterness, this wrath on the inside of this, this inward working of bitterness sits in the pit of our stomach. Tell you what, Jesus wants to bring liberty into our life and freedom. Bring us mercy and bring grace to us. Get that stuff out of it. I mean, I resonate with that because I my line, my bloodline, if you like, was at loggerheads. Uh, some of you will know this, but the um on my father's side where my dad was born, which makes me half of that nation. Uh, in there, honestly, there's a root of bitterness that goes right into hundreds of years ago because they were actual just loggerheads with their next door neighbor. So I had to get that out. God was merciful. Okay, so we're gonna jump into this. Our objective in stitching up relationships is not to win an argument. That's not where we're coming from now. It's not, we're not in a debating chamber. Our objective is to win a heart. Our goal is not to point fingers. You were wrong, I was right. Okay. 18 verses 15. Thank you, Twinkle. Moreover, if your brother or sister sins against you, go and tell him his fault. I like that. Between you and him alone. Now, let me put a qualifying on this. I don't think that Jesus was legalistic about that. Lady or woman today, or mother or wife, should I say wife, if you've got an issue with another sister, it's not a problem telling your husband, oh, I can't tell my husband, can't say anything to him, I've got to go in private. I think it's okay. I think he's mature enough to say, hey, you know what? I think you should go and talk. I'll pray for you as they do that. And I think that's okay. If we've got pastors on staff, that sort of thing, you go. If you had a beef with me, you can go to another pastor. Say, I've got a beef with the pastor, the city pastor got a beef. I wouldn't have a problem with you going, maybe you could resolve it at that point. He can help or she can help, talk you through. Oh no, I didn't understand that. No, that makes sense about it. Or they may say, Yeah, I will come with you. I don't think it's that legalistic. But where I do think we get unstuck, private. Remember? And going alone, between you and him alone, is when we begin to tell our neighbor. We begin that's called gossip at that point. When we begin to tell our mother, it's got nothing to do with our mother. She's not part of the problem, she's not part of the solution. Mum doesn't need to know, and Auntie doesn't need to know either. Come to think of it, neither, or my siblings. In fact, we gathered the whole family, and I'm a fan. I want to tell them all about those guys. No, go yourself. If we follow, you ready for this? Hey, look, if we follow Jesus prescribed method, we're gonna be graced. We're gonna get his results. Huh? If you sow it right, you'll reap it right. The problem is, this is what I know, we don't do that, and we it's like here's the fire, and what we're doing, we're putting gasoline for the Californians in image, but petrol for us. We put gasoline and petrol on it, we make it ten times worse. We're to be peacemakers, and so we're to arbitrate peace, and so we've got an issue with someone, it's best to go alone. Talk to them. And so don't say, hey, way you did this, man. I got you horrible. You just say, hey, look, I didn't quite understand what was going on there. Can you walk me through it a little bit? Maybe I've misunderstood. So you're giving them the benefit of that, and maybe, maybe it's not as bad as what you thought. But Jesus is giving us, number one, a prescribed method, and guess what? It works. It works. I've done it and it works. I've had to humble myself before people, I've had to get on my knees before people, I've had to do that to some of you. You're awesome. You were right and I was wrong. But I've had to do it as a minister. I'm not too big to be able to humble myself before the congregation or you as an individual and say, I'm sorry, I'm wrong. I don't say it like this. I'm sorry, I'm wrong. It's like, I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? Please can we reconcile? That's got to be the spirit. So, in a marriage, can I say this? Let's just say there's a division. Can I say this? Let's just not run after others and tell everybody in the block about your marriage. Please don't do that. Sort it out with the other partner, the other side. Guys, your brother doesn't have to know. But if you can't reconcile and it's really a bad issue, then you can go the next level and you can begin to talk to appropriate people that can help, that wants their best and your best, and will follow the authenticity of the word. Did you know if we did this, if we did this, gossip would just all-time low in the church, record low. Contention, all record low if we went privately and we went alone. But I can tell you this this morning, I reckon a quarter of you've got it, and probably the rest of us, you'll think of it after you didn't do it. I'm hoping you remember this, because it's very important. This is a prescribed method. Now, listen, remember I told you Jesus is the great physician? He knows how to stitch up a broken relationship, he knows how to stitch up a marriage that's broken and torn apart, it's wounded. He knows how to do it. He's the great physician, he knows how to heal those emotions, but this is what our part is it. We're gonna allow the healing for him to do, but we're gonna follow in his footsteps, we're gonna do the prescribed method. A lot of people are saying, Oh, you know, even in the pastoral ministry, oh, so-and-so did such and I think, oh, I don't want to hear that. Have you gone and spoken to them? Have you? Because if you haven't, I'm actually not part of the problem solution. I'm not a dumping ground. I told you I'm on a 40-day, I told you, hey, I'm on a 40-day no-negativity fast. You don't believe me, do you? 40-day, so first thing I had to do, I had to get rid of all my news. I don't know what's happening in the world right now. It's a shame because I love to know what's happening in America, politics, and and also uh Israel and so forth. I don't know anything. Has the world stopped? Have we been left behind? I don't know. But I'm excited for 40 days, start of Sunday. Countdown. I'm looking forward to this whole time. And already this week I've noticed a wee shift in stuff. You see, where there's a lot of negativity, it will snuff your faith. It will, it'll just, it'll carve out, it'll war and it'll erode your faith in God. Trust that miracle faith. Anyway, different subject. But we've assumed for so long that we go tell others. If we're offended, we'll go tell others. No, no, no, no, it's not what Jesus is saying here. Alone in private. We all good with that one? We got it? You can always ask me questions about it afterwards, if anything. Here's the next one. Method prescribed number two. This is where it gets even deeper. You ready? You say deeper this morning? Hebrews 5, 23, 24. Therefore, if you bring your gift, okay, to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you. Leave your gift, therefore, before the altar and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Wow. I'll put it in real raw terms. I'll put it in raw terms, I'll put me into it. If I knew that I had offended you, but my motivation was right, let me put it this way. If if you had a beef with me and you're sitting there this morning and I didn't have a beef with you, I just you just didn't like me for whatever reason. Could be the theology, the Bible, you just didn't like it. And I knew you were sitting there and I knew you had a beef. Maybe your family and had a beef with me. This would be the spiritual thing for Jonathan, the senior pastor, to do. Was when it came to communion, when it came to give out offerings, I should get out of my seat. And I'm gonna say this, I have actually seen this happen in the church before. Get out of my seat and go over to who can I pick? Noah. So no, you know, you guys look like you need it, and say, hey, um, guys, just to let you know, and I'm sorry, I think there might be, is there something between us? And if there is, hey, I I I want to I want to break it for peace. I want to reconcile, I want to humble myself before you if I've done something like that, and so forth. That's what that's talking about. It's not talking about someone hating your guts on social media in a different land. I've got to catch that plane now. Got to catch that plane over to to uh to uh where's one of the countries? Over to uh Nigeria. And uh we haven't got a church in Nigeria. Okay, yeah, Uganda, we've got a church in Uganda. Over to Uganda and talk to someone I've never met before who hates my guts. Hey, buddy, I just wanna is there anything wrong? No, no, no. You know, it's talking, it's talking about us, marriage, family. It's talking about the body of Christ like this. It's not because we've been putting something on social media and speaking righteousness and somebody hates our guts, so we're going up to them and say, Have I offended you? Well, we probably have offended them. It's not talking about that now, okay? It's primarily talking about our relationships, close like this, and so forth. Okay? Does that make sense? Very important, but we don't do it because this is what we do. We say, they know where I am. Now remember, we're the innocent guy, we haven't done anything wrong. They've got the issue, and we are the one to go see them. You thought, no, they should be seeing you. So you've got no problem here now. Example. Illustration. But you know they've got a problem with you. You think they should come and see you, they know where my office is, they know my address, they know I've heard this before. She knows my number. Honestly, I've heard that. I've I've heard this. He knows where I live. I heard that not so long ago. He knows where I live. Yeah, we all know where you live. Everybody knows where everybody lives. He knows where I live. No, but it's no, you're getting off the horse, getting down, going low, walking past the hedge. You haven't done anything wrong, but they're part of the church or they're part of your relationships, part of your family. You're not even sure what you've done wrong, if you've done wrong anything, knock on the door, have the chocolates, no, no, knock on the door and say, Hey, can we talk? What they might do is bring the biggest member of the family out. Yes, what do you want? No, no, just go talk, get on the phone, ring, text, whatever it is, and just reconcile. That's a prescribed method. Now, okay, in the conflict situation, somebody who doesn't like somebody and been horrible to this person over here, and these guys are saying, Well, we've done nothing wrong, they need to sort it out. True, they need to sort it out. But there's also an additional way for the guy or the girl or the family that's maybe less innocent or innocent in it, or not sure they feel they haven't done anything wrong. They have to rise, you ready? And they have to go to the perpetrators or those who are really racked up about something and say, Hey, can we have a um a talk? And want to come at humility and um and uh just have a quarter, have a talk, have a conversation, and uh man, if I've done something wrong, I want to ask your forgiveness because it was never my intention, please, and uh you know what can I do? And hopefully, while what you said was sus and such, you're thinking, man, I didn't quite say that, but okay, what you said was sus and such, and I got really hurt out of that. And you say, Well, look, to be honest with you, that's not what I meant. Um, but I'm sorry that I ended up hurting your feelings through that. And uh, will you forgive me? And then their walls go down, the tears often come, and it's a case of yes, but that's a good thing. And and look, can we pray together? So we're gonna invite Jesus into the meeting. Can we pray together? Would you like to pray too? And let's pray for us.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

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